Who Can You Control To Beat The Narcissist?
Control.
Where should you be applying your control in order to beat the narcissist?
This Logic Bulletin addresses the following to assist you in escaping and staying away from the narcissist.
- Can you control the narcissist? If not, why?
- What happens if you try to control the narcissist?
- Should you control third parties?
- What happens when you try to control third parties?
- The consequences of trying to control third parties with reference to the narcissist.
- The consequences of fighting a Smear Campaign by the narcissist
- The consequences of seeking to expose the narcissist to third parties
- The responses of third parties where you see to control them in respect of the narcissist
- Assistance with the targeted process of Inform and Influence
- Achieving the best outcome with regard to control and the narcissist
- Achieving the best outcome with regard to control and third parties
- Your role with regard to the issue of control
- The concept of Dilution of Assets and its relationship with control.
- Common mistakes which are made with regard to the idea of control and the repercussions of those mistakes on you and your No Contact Regime
To make use of this very helpful Logical Bulletin, secure your audio file delivered by email for just US $ 25 whilst the discounted introductory rate is maintained.
Build your defences with logic and beat the narcissist!
59 thoughts on “Who Can You Control To Beat The Narcissist?”
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Off subject but I have a question. Today I see a post on FB from one of my old trainers. I’ve known him since he started his career and watched him become very successful opening several gyms locally and now has branched off in other cities. As a result, he is very active on social media and has built a large following. He’s alot younger than me and has never been in my immediate social group so I never really paid attention to his behaviors.
Today’s post was about custody of his daughter and how very hard it is for him to take her back to her mom (in another state. He had her for a month and she’s about 1). It was a very long post gushing about his relationship with his daughter and how he’s going to keep fighting for full custody (no details about mom or any problems mom may have).
My first thought “is this guy a narcissist?”. My question, am I being a scorned empath coming out bad relationship and judging all men, or am I logically applying what I’m learning? I don’t want to be “that girl” that judges all men and finds red flags in them all.
P.s. Back on subject, I have this one added to my list of purchases.
Hello Mercy, then please do utilise this
https://narcsite.com/why-do-i-see-narcissists-everywhere/
HG, I just finished listening. Thank you for this. It’s good to know I’m not just being bitter and that I’m automatically applying the things Ive learned from you. It feels like progress. Thank you.
You’re welcome
Is anyone else not able to “like” a post because it says loading? This is happening on my computer and on my phone.
Kristin
Same here! Laptop and PC.
Kristin, I’m having a lot of trouble too. The app seems to be ok but web isn’t loading. It’s been like that for about a week.
Mercy,
Yes, I miss the “like” feature. It is the same on Chrome and Safari for me.
Kristin, I can like on the word press app but not on web. Also web isn’t loading a lot of the links. I have to fight with it. Go in and out to get it to load. I think with the random placements of comments and such they probably did a update that failed. I don’t know much though.
Mercy,
That is the same with me but I don’t want to have to log in to WordPress to like a comment. Hopefully it will be fixed soon!
MB: This is older, but I want to make it my theme song:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=m-HVP01goE4
Cogra,
you keep getting back on though and that is what is important. xx
MB,
What a perfect song, thank you for sharing. I actually got sick in my stomach with tears in my eyes while watching the video because I have been there and it hit home. Kind of reassuring, in a twisted way, to know that we are all in the same boat and can relate on such a deep level.
Kristin, I’m sorry it brought back bad memories, but it’s songs and videos like this that will help bring awareness of narcissistic abuse to the masses. Now if we could just get them to put two and two together! A classic Stepford Devaluation that also made reference to her growing up in an abusive environment. This is a mainstream musical group in the USA. Powerful message.
MB,
No apology needed! It was the perfect way to exemplify narc abuse and may very well be what someone needs to realize that they are entangled with a narc. Well done!
I heard this song for the first time yesterday and wanted to dedicate it to all my peeps at Narcsite that are still in relationships and being devalued. Burn that damn sugar coat!
https://youtu.be/MNdg0K2h_UE
Omg. I need this one. This is the phase i am currently at with the narcissist. I haven’t logged on here in about a week. Glad to see new material!
Plenty to assist you with the building of your Future Self.
Ya I know what you mean
HG is one of my best distractions
That’s why I kind of like when we get bombed w articles. During absenses or silent treatments, I brainwash myself w HG and others.
And the Tudorites, of course
There’s this thing called the archives…..
. . . indeed, where cogra, I, and other readers can bomb ourselves with articles to our respective heart’s content!
Absolutely Lisk and what better way than to take control of your own reading.
Who are the Tudorites?
WE are the Tudorites!
All the followers and extimators of HG’s work, is that right? So I am a Tudority too, as I’m spreading his work in Italy
Stella SHELF Unmaskers
Si, sei un tudorite!
Oh K Sei italiano? (Are you Italian?)
Ciao Stella SHELF Unmaskers
No, sono americana ma ho studiato italiano all’università. È una lingua meravigliosa.
No, I am american but I studied Italian at university. It’s a beautiful language.
Woww hai scritto molto bene la frase in italiano. E l’italiano è più difficile come lingua rispetto all’inglese. Io a primavera prenderò il certificato Cambridge C1
Grazie mille, Stella SHELF Unmaskers
Il tuo inglese è molto buono! Ho trovato l’italiano facile da imparare perché è fonetico. Buona fortuna con il certificato C1!
Your English is very good! I found Italian easy to learn because it was phonetic. Good luck with the C1 certificate!
You are a Tudoressa!
That’s right Lisk!
You should implement no contact instead, HG docet…
Kim e
Hahahaha…that was hilarious!
I hope it aids those who need (because they can’t achieve NC) or wish to control others (because ET is high)
awww I just purchased this and am excited to listen to it. I am in a situation where I really can’t go complete no contact and really need to know how to manage daily contact without getting sucked back in all the time. The odd thing is I often feel like I’ve been manipulating and controlling my narc and it is so stressful doing things that I don’t like to do. It makes me crazy cause its not my natural state. But with HG’s explanations of narcs its hard not to. If I want my narc to lay off of me, I know what to say to him, I know the positive fuel that I can give him that he will stop being an ass. The problem I have is dealing with being so freaking fake like this. It grates on my nerves. Feeding egotistical peoples’ egos sucks ass. just saying.
It’s in there Notme. It is most definitely in there.
hahahahah love it Kim e
Kim e:
Are the times you stay on getting longer?
Violetta,
The longest I have been NC is now at 16 weeks. On numerous occasions I have not had him blocked I would just ignore his texts. But as we know that doesn’t last.
I would say the times I stay on are about the same on average. This time I have not been total NC as HG describes it as I have unblocked him (no communication tho) just to relieve my ET. I then played the block, unblock, block, unblock block….etc…game for a couple days.
My ET is not as intense as it once was. Not that it is not there. I am far from being free. But the 16 weeks has made a difference.
Hang in there………
Kim e,
“This time I have not been total NC as HG describes it as I have unblocked him (no communication tho) just to relieve my ET.”
Unblocking just stirs up the ET. You will be more successful at staying on the wagon if you block. When they are unblocked, we are always subconsciously waiting for the contact. I know, it’s hard at first but if it was easy none of us would be here. I’m currently getting the courage to change my email and phone number. It has to be done, blocking didn’t stop the Hoover’s. I’m just really mad about the inconvenience and the fact that this is the only number I’ve ever had.
Sometimes I wish he’d drive off a cliff so I can keep my number. No I don’t, I’m just kidding…Kinda. No really, I don’t…but maybe a little. Noo not at all…sometimes I do. Yea, I’m not happy about the number thing.
Correct.
Mercy
Lol. Glad you were able to definitively decide what should be your N’s demise…..kinda😂😂😂
My LT knows everything thing you say is true. Now if my ET would cooperate that would be great. He is blocked and has been.
And I agree it is not fair that we are the ones that have to rearrange our lives.
If you need help with brake lines, you know where to find me 😂😂🚗🚘
HG…….
https://tse4.mm.bing.net/th?id=OIP.tnQR_WXf0tl6waoOuHgVZAHaEK&pid=Api&P=0&w=331&h=187
Done deal
Good post, good reminder and good comments. I think we all know that the only control is No Contact. The only method of taking power back…. even though I fall off the wagon off and on. It’s not from not knowing better.
cogra002
I fall off and get back on and fall off and get back on….etc. I am black and blue
Cogra so reassuring to know other people fall off the wagon too.
My sister was horrified when I disclosed id been exchanging emails. How we can deceive when it suits.
@corga “Its not from not knowing better….” Perhaps that’s why it makes me feel so much worse when I do fall off…
Cogra002,
“I think we all know that the only control is No Contact.” You are so right and it really resonated with me. Thanks.
My Dear God HG 💙 I’m lucky because I have more control than they do, with third parties.
If I were inclined, I could have them removed from any social circle. I could make their own friends turn against them, if I wanted. But I would never. I pity them HG. I wish them the best with their efforts to be accepted. I would never interfere with the course of someone’s life. My biggest wish is for these pathetic and insecure men to be accepted, happy, and proud of themselves, and for their dreams to come to fruition. I want them to truly be the success they imagine themselves to be.
I thought that empaths are ill equipped to manipulate others and have no instinctive need for control. Therefore, surely the only people you can or should control is yourself?
You will have to ascertain whether this is the case from the content of the LB which addresses far more to aid people.
Can’t recommend this one enough. Wherever you are on your journey this is great advice and guidance.
Couldn’t resist this one. Looking forward to hearing your advice HG.
It’s always so tempting to try to influence others and I’ve tried in the past. Also other influencers who’ve told me they hate him I find out actually don’t and are in contact and are friends with him.
I can only sit back watch and wait and let nature take its course.
He’s always trying to influence and control.
Recently popped up on fb after many years. Interesting to see who is still in contact with him.
One friend said to me that she had ignored the request out of respect for me. I didn’t ask her to. But not because she thinks he’s a piece of scum. All those shiny smiley faces. I’ve blocked and can no longer see so who knows what’s going on. It will get easier not to think. But I so wanted to post my thoughts. A few cryptic comments to those totally taken and hoping to be next IPPS and to the others in the grey area of DLS. Most important is to protect my own mental health and I’m damned if I’m entering that arena. Feeling better again.
This advice is very welcome and timely.
Absolutely and it is good to see that you understand how it is very useful for your knowledge.
Really reassuring. Reminders about what else is going on in the fuel matrix.
The last time we went walking his phone was going and he made out it was business. We went for a coffee, we paid the bill then he went to the loo – and was ages. Probs on the phone. It’s impossible to trust and impossible to control. Best out of it.
The only control one has is over ones self…..unless of course one makes the choice (consciously or subconsciously) to hand that control to another.