Along Came A Spider
I have made mention of how the advancements in technology have provided my kind and I with a smorgasbord of methods to carry out our works. From seduction to manipulation the freedom that comes with wifi and a functioning device provides is with a wealth of opportunity. My web can be spread wide over the….well the web. How apt it is that the pioneers of the internet decided on the appellation of world wide web. The electronic blanket which encapsulates this planet is indeed a web. A perilous place which readily ensnares the unwary. From chatrooms, to text messaging, through Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, e-mail and dating sites, the internet has proven to be bountiful in its riches for my kind. Of course, this vast array of different hunting grounds can only be of benefit to the seasoned hunter. You can fill a river with salmon but if you do not know how to fish then you will not catch anything. Of course, I know how to fish, to shoot, to spear and to hunt. My mastering of the tools of manipulation enables me to sniff out my prey in moments and like a lion tracking a bison, drag them to the ground and eat them from behind before they even realise what has happened to them. Have you ever seen the expression on a felled bison or buffalo as a predatory lion gorges on their flesh? It is not pain, it is not frustrated struggle but an almost blissful ignorance to what is actually happening. They seem unaware that they are being devoured. It is so similar for my victims. They smile and purr even as I am taking chunks from them because that is the high level of my skill.
Thus the internet has become my hunting ground and my various manipulative machinations are given a good run out amidst the waiting and willing victims. There is one thing however that always works in this electronic shop window and that is the art of conversation.
My early forays in chatrooms bore fruit so incredibly quickly. Even I was taken aback at how easy it was. So many times I read comments such as
“It is such a lovely change to meet someone who can hold a conversation.”
“You are so charming and interesting, you actually hold a conversation than saying hi babe wanna shag?”
“You are clearly intelligent and interested in me. I am not used to that. So many of the men on here just want a picture of my boobs or want to send me a dick pic, you are not like that.”
Naturally, I was not engaged in conversations with men so I do not know if there is a boorish equivalent amongst the female ranks. Certainly in all my conversations I never came across any lady whose opening gambit was to offer a picture of her genitals. I take the view therefore that it is the male of the species that is letting you down. They are certainly not letting me down. By populating chat rooms and dating sites and trotting out such Neanderthal lines these men are increasing my currency. The fact I can talk about a variety of subjects, ask pertinent and engaging questions and avoid suggesting a bunk up in the first ten mintues meant that I really was the desired exception. The idiots, the perverts and the inarticulate all made me look even better than I already did (yes I know that may be hard to believe!) and thus when I came sashaying into view I was greeted with utter delight by those I interacted with. Even if I had no interest in someone, I was hard pressed not to attract them, by virtue of being able to string sentences together and not engage in demands for instant sexual congress (of course that would come later when I was always pushing on an open door).
Time and time again I heard reports of the pathetic and ill-mannered behaviour of men in these arenas. I expressed dismay and castigated them for it but all the while I celebrated for so long as they continued in this vein it meant all the more eager and willing victims for me.
Those weak and pathetic spiders would soon curl up and die for there was only one giant walking through the net.
Along came a spider but this one could hold a conversation.
70 thoughts on “Along Came A Spider”
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who may capable of serial killing , @ Lorlei psychopaths I guess . I hit the reply button but it just came in as an regular comment
Cat
Fuel is their lifeblood, provocation is a malign way of harvesting it
Absolutely it is. Provocation is their lifeblood.
Lorelei
“I don’t mind spiders”
You have not seen what I have seen.
Dating sites are terrible. The gay ones are crap as well. I met my gf unexpectedly by attending one of her strength training classes, and then seduced her.
I think more women should seduce men instead of waiting for them to do it. Men dont really get complimented as often as women do (so I’ve heard) so unless they are already taken it should be fairly easy to snatch the empath man you want.
Witch, regarding your suggestion about women seducing men:
I thought I *was* the seducer in the early days with Narcx.
It wasn’t until reading HG—here on the blog and especially in his book, Sitting Target—that I realized that I was neither the aggressor nor the initiator of anything in that “relationship.”
Hi Lisk,
Either way we are at risk of running into a narc. I’ve dated quite a few weirdos but with the help of narcsite, I ended it very early. I personally have magnetic properties so I know it’s not entirely in my benefit to wait for someone to initiate anything romantic with me because most likely they are a narc, and I’m going to assume it is also more likely in an empath womans benefit not to simply wait to be pursued. Empath men are going to be more wary of coming across like a sexual predator, so I think more women should do their part in pursuing the person they want.
If I waited for my now partner to ask me out she wouldn’t have. Think of all the lost opportunities…
I do. I do. And I’m happy they are not found!
NarcAngel
Mindhunter is fantastic and I enjoyed Red Dragon, as well.
Tammy
Wow is accurate. Mindhunter is perfect homework for all narcsite readers. Principal Roger Wade deploys conversational derailment after Holden tells him to stop tickling the children. That series is riveting.
https://narcsite.com/2017/12/07/five-conversational-derailments-3/
I don’t mind spiders.
NA, I’m about half through season 2. I will binge watch (again) tonight. This stuff is like a book you can’t put down. I’ve been up until 5 am the past two nights watching it. The desire for me to understand human behavior is off the charts. The series is interesting in the sense that the predators had to actually search for their victims in real life but the time frame of Mindhunters seems to be from the 1970’s.
The online world has certainly made the process easier for them but I wonder if the more intelligent ones in today’s world would still prefer actually physically looking for their victims to avoid leaving a data trail. Maybe it depends on whether they are looking to actually murder someone. Haha. Obviously just being a narcissist online isn’t illegal.
Lorelei, You wouldn’t have a chance with a lower lesser. Like HG said, 5 min into the convo he’d be asking for pics of your tits. If he doesn’t get them he moves on.
psychopaths I guess
Ahhh I’m so afraid of spiders
Are there things HG—that you would hone is on quite quickly to tell you who may capable of serial killing, etc? Well I assume so—but that is a small percentage. Like really have concerns about certain behaviors.
NA,
I’ve personally found some of the most intelligent and interesting people online but true, not on dating sites. More on topic-focused forums or developing/marketing their businesses, narcs or not. It doesn’t always correlate with good social skills and even mental health though.
The one good thing about dick pics is you don’t have to do the uncomfortable groping. Omg—I actually have to confess I have done it and did not sleep with him. Pointless. But the pics are gross.
You are hysterical!!
“uncomfortable groping”. Good one. Yes the pictures are gross.
Njfilly—it’s true. I’m not going to ever have a relationship with a man with a micro-penis. That would be ridiculous and I don’t feel bad about it. They could have a million dollars times twenty. The only thing men are good for is shoveling snow and sex.
Lorelei, don’t forget taking the trash out and mowing the lawn.
The trash is a pain—plus I bleach the can every month when it is warm enough outside to have the hose on.
Lorelei, I use to use bleach but I’m trying to get away from harsh chemicals. I started using cheep vodka for an everyday disinfectant and isopropyl for more bacteria prone jobs like my sink and garbage cans. I still keep a small bottle of bleach. It’s hard to give up that habit.
Vodka huh? And I don’t have to worry about bleach stains on my clothes.. interesting
Why bother cleaning the trash can? Let the raccoons and the squirrels knock it over and clean it out for you–that’s why they’re there.
A local poll voted against recycling bottles because readers decided “the homeless people do a fine job.”
It has to be in the garage or the homeowners association sends out nasty-grams. So, it has to be hoses out often because I can’t handle anything gross!
Lorelei;
I have experienced both extremes with regard to size and I have to agree. It is possible for a man’s penis to be too small. At least for me. Although if he were a multi-millionaire I might consider it, I’m not sure. I do feel bad for the man but I don’t feel bad about having my own personal preference. I don’t like to be dissatisfied in my sexual relationships. Anyway, it’s possible he could just find a more petite woman for a tighter fit.
I’m not sure how I feel about your last sentence. Are you stating this in general, or in regard to your relationships with them?
Funny.
I have begun telling men that I would not be interested in communicating with them because there were too many spelling, grammar and punctuation errors within their profiles and message to me. If you have only sent me one message, can’t you make it correct?!
I responded to one man that he should fix his profile as it contained too many errors and made him appear unintelligent and made a bad first impression. This was a man in his late 40’s. He wrote me again and thanked me. I reviewed his profile later and he had corrected it but I still will not communicate with him since he had to be told this.
I think these men might actually know how to write and spell. It’s a matter that they have low standards and they are mentally lazy. It doesn’t matter to them so they think it does not matter to us. Although, maybe my standards are too high.
This subject is a pet peeve of mine. I really need to get off the dating sites as all it does is irritate me. Maybe I’m just a bitch.
Seems like their bad spelling/grammar gets them noticed!
So who knows? It could be a fuel-attracting tactic, even if subconscious, especially when a nice fixer-lady happens to come along to perfect their paragraph.
OMG! That damn word salad gets me every time! I like to write and I’m a precise communicator. I don’t like miscommunication or misinterpretation and now that I think about it, those word salads could literally keep me going indefinitely.
Another pet peeve of mine; YouTube song lyric videos where the lyrics are incorrect or misspelled!
Don’t get pulled in! Resist the urge to revise!
Yes I must stop correcting the idiots.
Njfilly
I know right?! Everyone knows Hendrix sang “excuse me while I kiss this guy” yet they keep printing “kiss the sky”. Unbelievable.
OMG! Too funny you are!! Good one!
NA
Completely true, there is no point hunting for scraps online
I do have friends that are nice people that use dating sites—I just think my emotional thinking would make it difficult. But it could be ok if I weren’t nuts!
Lorelei
I’m sure there are some nice people on dating sites, but the odds of you finding one is outweighed by the danger of falling victim to those who are not. Even those who are not narcissists can lie up a storm. I worked with a woman who told us about her experiences the next day. One guy failed to tell her he had no legs. The stories were funny to hear but who wants to spend that kind of time collecting stories.
Omg. I could. I think I have a show to pitch to the networks haha.
NA—I’ve asked people how tall they are that have no legs. It’s so embarrassing but in my defense when they are in a wheelchair it’s easy to not think of it when they get wheeled in the office door! So awkward.
HG,
What you are describing in this post is something I very much relate to, in breadth and depth. I have definitely felt the internet is my greatest playground since my teens. I am even just into computers and other technology very much, so I grew into the perfect era for my personality. But I definitely grew into it naturally. The only factor I don’t relate to much, and of course it’s a central issue when it comes to narcissism, is manipulation as being a primary drive/factor. (Well, it was a primary factor when I was mentally not in a good place, to get away with obsessions and other unhealthy behaviors/distractions). Of course I still use the internet to pursue my ways, both professional and private. I am saying these things because, I think, it is a good example for the spectrum we often speak about: where a normal person can be relative to a narcissist. I am definitely prone to behind the scenes endeavors, secrets, compartments… Really don’t like when people in my private life are unaware of who/what I am though and love to hook up with those that can figure me out and still chose to engage. So, in my view, many of these online activities are necessarily good signs of narcissism. I have met many other normals and also empaths who engage in similar things, a difference is that they rarely describe it as manipulative. But the same can probably apply to lesser and mid-range narcs as well, would they recognize why they do the online hunting primarily? Probably not.
I have also been thinking often and have even been astonished how easy it can be to draw others into my wold via the internet, even into weirdest and most twisted domains of that world. I don’t usually have issues making social connections offline either when I want and make the effort, but definitely make much more effort online. It is just super easy even these days when there is ample competition and millions of people with similar mindsets. I definitely relate to the spider metaphor as well including in terms of online business, learning, social rewards and sucking all sorts of benefits.
On the note about gender, I have definitely engaged with many more men than women in every area of life historically, because I do tend to be more compatible with biological men both professionally and privately despite being gender fluid myself and interested in all genders sexually/romantically. It’s more a personality thing for me and my actual experiences do not tend to show significant differences based on gender and have had some powerful, interesting and beneficial experiences with females and the whole LGBTQ+ spectrum.
It is often said that the internet can be the perfect playground for introverts, which I definitely am. Never in my life had I created such a varied and broad web in the 3D world and never even need it there, meaning that a great deal of my social connections and endeavors never go beyond the virtual world. How is this last aspect for you, HG? Just curios, if you care to elaborate.
My endeavours cover all spheres but the most effective ones are those in person.
In this day and age even the rare case of using correct punctuation and not mixing up “their” and “there” (as well as “you’re” and “your”) can be major turn-ons.
Haha so true Dolores.
This article is so true and so sad. Any man showing any amount of intelligence stands out as the others have not set the bar very high. It’s pathetic. I can’t speak about the women as I don’t interact with them.
The dumbing down of society continues. The psychological conditioning of Idiocracy.
I have faith, however, that strong intelligent men within society still exist. They are just not on dating sites or members of my family.
True. Finding what seems like the least poisonous ingredient in a vat of toxic stew (dating site) doesn’t scream jackpot! Most intelligent and interesting people won’t be on a dating site, because…well…they’re intelligent and interesting and engage people in real life.
Hello NarcAngel,
Yes, I completely agree with you. Intelligent interesting people are busy with their interesting lives. I am as well but I admit, I intermittently use dating sites. Until I get too irritated and start admonishing the men about their sloppy profiles as I commented to Dolores Haze above. At that point I realize it’s time for me to leave as I feel my anger rising and I really don’t like to vent it unto people, although admittedly, I sometimes do.
Njfilly
I’m sure lots of people first do it out of curiosity and it seems safe. I can just log off mentality. Then before you know it you’ve found “the one” and the hook is set…
True. I don’t know why I even bother when I have limited time for dating anyway. I used to date through the newspaper personal ads back in the 80’s and 90’s. You would have to wait for letters to arrive in the mail. I tell my nieces about this and they think it’s hysterical.
I know someone who met their husband through the newspaper personals years ago. They’re still together and miserable. She wanted a child and was born (to borrow a term from HG) “unfortunate of face”, while he was born bereft of intelligence but had sperm that could swim and enough sense to know her father had money. Indeed hysterical. Try keeping a straight face when a guy refers to chicken fingers as “poultry digits” while attempting to look learned next to his accomplished in-laws. I dare you.
It’s hell to be with somebody yet miserable. I wouldn’t stay. Better to be single. They sound like an “interesting” couple.
Funny. I just noticed that my reply to you contains a spelling error. “onto”. Duh.
I read the original post of this only a couple days ago
https://narcsite.com/2015/12/31/to-weave-a-web/
and it mainly made me think about how horrifying it would be if spiders held conversations.
Met a giant one on saturday, it fell from the ceiling and onto the floor as I turned the shower on. I think we both panicked.
Hi HG, This is a good reminder. I’ve read previous articles from you regarding the dangers of the internet but this added another layer for me. Anyone who’s used the internet for dating, has no doubt encountered men who are looking for nothing but a hookup or sending a dick pic, or even more common asking for my naked pics. But now we have to remember ( Thanks to you) that just because someone doesn’t behave like the Neanderthals and can hold a conversation we still need to be wary. Ever since I came across your information I have not used the internet at all for dating in fact have not pursued dating at all in any form for the past year at least. I think it’s true what you said recently, after reading your material and or consulting with you as I have, we see everyone now as a narcissist or at least are very suspicious that they are or could be. I’m still very leary about dating again because even though I’ve learned a lot here, my history has proven that I will likely encounter another narcissist, just because that’s who I seem to attract. Thanks for all the great information. At least we are now armed with information to proceed with caution and watch for red flags and get out sooner than later.
On another note, have you seen Mindhunter? I’m watching it now on Netflix. I highly suggest this to your readers. In short, it explorers how we are changing the way we look at serial killers by understanding the psychology of the narcissists who commit egregious crimes. It’s pretty amazing to watch, especially for someone who has learned about narcissism. I keep referring back to your information and saying “wow! that’s exactly what HG told us.
No, I have not seen it although it has been recommended to me.
Tammy
I’ve been watching Mindhunter (now waiting for the series to resume). It is extremely interesting to watch how the killers react and to hear what they say in the interviews that were conducted, and you do see the red flags like lack of emotion, entitlement, blame-shifting etc. Also how the lack of controlled environment plays part in who they became and how they affect those around them. That is of course if they are true to life and not played with too much. It is based on the book Mindhunter by the real life FBI agent who is portrayed as Holden in the series, so I will likely read the book. It is a good reminder that narcissists/psychopaths can be much more dangerous than just a guy who fooled around on you and broke your heart, and what it can lead to if you stay involved.
World Wide Web indeed! Very entertaining and apt post, HG. You are a superb communicator. I look forward to more on this important topic as it effects anyone online even in non-relationship seeking settings.
Thank you FYC.
Good read HG and very accurate. In his bragging moments about how easy dating sites are, the ex N would ask me “do guys really not have conversations with women on dating sites?” He would tell me about the compliments from women that he was the first guy to have an intelligent convo with them.
The “idiots, the perverts and the inarticulate”, are these the lessors?
The Lessers? Yes.
I’m holding out for a lower lesser!
Lorelei I met the President and CEO today. As soon as these words came out of his mouth the red flags went up!
“ Wow you are just full of energy aren’t you? I can feel it radiating from you all the way over here! I’ll have to figure out a way to extract some of that!” He might not have meant anything at all by saying that and was just being nice, but all I seen were red flags flying high. I guess I’ll be suspicious of everyone for a little while? Actually it will probably be for the rest of my life!! Smh
Very few narcissists think they are doing anything wrong or saying anything wrong, FM1T. That is the blinding behaviour of the narcissism. Further, even if you point it out to the narcissist, they will be offended (read Challenged) by your observation and believe you are unpleasant because you criticised them when they were “just being pleasant/helpful/nice”. You as the empath then find your empathic trait of guilt activated (usually) and then apologise and remain in a form of interaction with the narcissist.
Thanks for this comment, HG. Very clarifying and helpful, and an especially useful reminder for avoiding workplace interactions if and when one can.
You are welcome.
Foolme—hospital admin is crawling with mids. Like politics. I’d have to drink daily to do it again. It’s got to be half of the crew.
HG,
In the past it wouldn’t have been guilt I was feeling, it would have been disbelief. I would have ignored any red flags and told my self I was wrong he would never want anything to do with me, However thanks to you and the knowledge you have given me I don’t allow myself to think like that anymore, I know the signs, not just in them but in myself also. I won’t ever ignore those signs again HG, whether they are wrong or not. Thank you. I’ll read challenged.
This just happened to me, my empathetic trait of guilt was activated and I apologized to keep the peace. I should have known better but he convinced me that I was in the wrong and I believed it and still have my doubts. So very manipulative and conniving but I am beginning to see though the facade. Thank you HG, you explained the prick to a T.
You are welcome.
I am wondering..and maybe you’ve already answered this…are you a reformed narcissist? I think you said you can’t reform a narcissist, so do you continue using your skills? And is your intention in being helpful (this website) just one of the ways you bring people into your web?
1. No.
2. Correct, there is no reform.
3. Yes, I do.
4. No.
Lisa
This comment explains why HG is “helpful”
HG Tudor says:
August 13, 2019 at 08:36
if you read the “About” section on which you posted Tang, you will actually find answers to most of the questions you have asked.
Why would I expose my true nature? For the reasons explained, I am doing so without compromising my identity so I still retain power and control within my private life whilst creating a legacy through this ground-breaking work.
I am not exposing my vulnerabilities to anybody who knows me therefore this information does not adversely impact on me.
https://narcsite.com/about/