Achieving NoFuC
Achieving NoFuC is the way to force the narcissist to leave you alone.
If you are being pestered by someone trying to seduce you who you have no interest in.
If you are being badly treated by someone who is bullying you.
If you are being repeatedly harassed by someone you were once in a relationship with.
If you are being smothered by someone who seems pleasant but is behaving over the top at the outset of your involvement with them.
If he or she just will not leave you alone.
You are in all likelihood being hoovered by a narcissist, whether it is in seduction or whether it is devaluing behaviour. Whether it is at the outset of the relationship, during the relationship or after the relationship such behaviour where this person will not leave you alone exhibits the behaviour of the narcissist.
To deal with them, you need to achieve NoFuC.
To understand what this means, what needs to be done and what it achieves, use this useful logic bulletin today.
One thought on “Achieving NoFuC”
Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)
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“If you are being pestered by someone trying to seduce you who you have no interest in.”
I could see narcissists using this phrase as a means of making themselves into the victims once the true victim is in a state of devaluation. We up the pursuit in that moment, usually.
The Mid Ranger gave me a lot of attention early on and then took it away and went cold and apathetic. Hence, I increased my ‘pursuit’ or my desire to have him back as he was in the beginning. I was sending him gifts, trying to evoke some sort of emotion out of him. (You can see the manipulation on my part–only sending him gifts as a means of getting what I want in return, that is, his attention again.)
After no contact, I felt humiliation at the fact that only a pathetic woman would chase after a gay man. (Of course as you know he hid this fact from me.)
Were the Mid Ranger to see that line, he would say that I was the narcissist and that he was the poor victim.
I felt better after finding your work of course, but the Enneagram helped me because I learned that as a Type 4, I ‘disintegrate’ to 2 in stress–so I take on the negative traits of the 2. (Giving to get in return, needing compliments, attention, reassure me of my worth, very sappy–a bad place to be. And waiting for a narcissist to be the supplier of that? Awful.)
I have been stressed and at that 2 point lately. It affects my creativity b/c I am too focused on externals–what others think of me, have I done enough? Am I good enough? rather than being more focused on my own ideals. It is a shitty place to be. I am trying to get out of it b/c I need to do my art. W/o my creative expression my life feels nothing more than a series of tasks.
Though I will never turn away a compliment. Your blog is the only place I can come to intellectually delve into my emotion, so it helps greatly.