Delivered by God
In one exchange with hissy fit Hannah, she of the perfectly poised potty mouth, I was blundering my way through the Madness of King George and my off kilter timing was causing her to explode once again. Her script had been thrown to the ground and the papers lay scattered.
She was ramrod stiff and her tiny feet seemed nailed to the floor as they did not move. Instead, she seemed to move only from the ankle, the rest of her body in perfect alignment as she jolted from side to side. Her caustic tongue went into over time and I stood with a false perplexed look on my face conveying that I was mystified as to what was causing her such concern.
“You do this on purpose don’t you?” she accused. Those small round brown eyes glinted with the fury that coursed through her. I must admit, other than my own rage, I do not think that anybody who I have ever met has come anywhere near to the seething outrage that Hannah used to feel.
Were it not for her magnanimous nature and her ability to take an interest in people you might have thought that she was one of my kind. She was very good at making people feel wanted. Notwithstanding her degree of fame, she made time for people and welcomed listening to them and asking about them. She actually preferred for people to talk about themselves rather her having to speak about herself. She took pride in the calibre of her performance, enjoyed the decent money she commanded as well but ultimately it was all about the performance. Something I could identify with.
“It is not difficult to do HG, it really is not,” she ranted “You used to be so damn good at doing this, much like everything else in our relationship. I don’t know what has happened to you, but you seem to have lost your sense of purpose. I admired you because you tackle everything head on and you are usually brilliant at everything you turn your hand to, but I am beginning to wonder if your power has peaked. Are you losing it? This is shambolic, you are useless, absolutely useless.”
She then descended into combining a thesaurus with profanity as she found every synonym she could for incompetence and interspersed these descriptions with a heavy serving of swear words. Her breath was coming in staccato bursts as she built herself into a frenzy, her cheeks reddening as her voice rose and rose.
“I really do have to ask, for what purpose God put you on this earth?”
Finally she stopped and she held my gaze. I could feel the fire ignite inside me as for once she had created the spark. The flames leapt into life, the heat surging upwards through me. She had questioned my purpose. She was challenging my existence. Who did she think she was? My eyes narrowed as I savoured the vitriol that now pumped through my body, the rising malice giving me power and reminding me that I am the supreme authority and she is but dust on the wind. Already the schemes of manipulation flickered through my racing my mind like a thousand screens showing trailers for the malevolence that would be unleashed on this thespian for her audacity in questioning my purpose.
I felt the words form in my throat and the anger came soaring with them as I strode up to her. She remained defiant, still in that strange stiff pose and she did not shirk despite the clear intent signalled by my rapid walk towards her. I thrust my face into hers, eyeball to eyeball and with incandescent rage burning through me I yelled into her face,
“I was invented by God to test your belief in him.”
She blinked once and then again. The edifice immediately cracked and came crashing down as she let out a howl of upset and her eyes filled with tears.
Nobody does rage like me.
Nobody delivers the final line like me.
Nobody questions my purpose.
337 thoughts on “Delivered by God”
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I never saw Titanic.
My boyfriend at the time had better taste and films like High Fidelity & Serendipity were much cuter romance and with a World of better music.
I’m a blue jazz rock freak and Celine, Mariah Carey, Michael Bolton et consortes are unbearable to my ears. They sound like they are in too much pain, poor fellows.
I met Michael Bolton in French Lick.
Great sentence ha ha! He was a complete arse. His manager was lovely though. Remember that long hair? Makes me shiver, not in a good way.
I liked him in the Thomas Crown Affair.
Agree, he doesn’t feel narcy !
I caught a comment that you’re exercising too. Let me know what you’re up to then I can cheer back! I’m currently icing my foot. Think my Achille’s might have popped. Been limping since the weekend. I’m getting cross with waiting !
The gym opens again next week. 😁 Should stay open now. Our lockdown lifts December 2nd.
Another Cat:
I will summarize Titanic for you. The ship goes down. Celine goes up. (Unlike HG’s light saber once he endures this Titanic/Celine marathon.)
And Leo drowns.
‘And Leo drowns,’ Is it bad that I wanted them both to drown?
Lovely brief, Bibi. And you made it at HG’s expense too.
👀
Nothing is done at my expense.
And Leo *dies of hypothermia.
Dear Mr Tudor,
Wow, poor Hannah sure copped the wrath !
I don’t think there’s one man on the planet who doesn’t see himself as God 😂
You have yourself some pretty stiff competition out there !
Your reaction was totally epic btw, extremely frightening …..but epic !
Luv Bubbles xx 😘
HG, was gonna say that I am sorry your mom did that to you. I actually did have some Star Wars figures as a kid myself. I don’t have them anymore, obviously. I can see how they would be comforting.
And as for Star Wars as a franchise, I get why it is nostalgic and comforting to many. I too have my comforts.
I appreciate the sentiment Bibi but you need not express sorrow, it was not your fault. It was not so much that they were a comfort, I found them a useful conduit for my imagination, but rather it was because she took something away from me which was mine and of course I now understand why that happened, even though I did not at the time.
Hey HG. Your story makes me sad (I am all weepy nowadays) because she clearly did not respect your boundaries and nor did she see you as an individual. She took away what little happiness you could find.
I too used to play with toys and make up stories in my head. I used to have little plastic–I can’t remember what they are called but I used to call them ‘guys’. ‘Where are all my guys?’ I had some little Star Wars figures and once when I had an eye infection and needed my mom to insert drops, she handed me the little Yoda and said, ‘Keep your eye open and look at Yoda.’
Being an only child, I was forced to entertain myself, as it was a way to combat loneliness. It is strange b/c amid this Covid, I find myself isolated in very much the same way. It has sort of brought on my childhood and so I find myself searching back to films and music that reminds me of comfort.
“Being an only child, I was forced to entertain myself, as it was a way to combat loneliness. It is strange b/c amid this Covid, I find myself isolated in very much the same way. It has sort of brought on my childhood and so I find myself searching back to films and music that reminds me of comfort.”
I was having a conversation about this the other day. A lot of my generation were latch key kids, left to entertain ourselves in whatever way we found and are actually reasonably comfortable with being isolated now. I personally spent hours drawing as a child, and I am secretly happy to have less social functions so I can go hide in my room and spend more time drawing. I also agree with the nostalgia films and music. I watched the new Bill and Ted the other night and I felt it was very well timed for the circumstances. Let’s all be excellent to each other in this harsh time.
Fox
I see it. A non non non non heinous adventure.
Bibi – Couldn’t reply below, but Labyrinth is empath candy and f*cked up my shizzle for sure.
BC30, since I am already feeling like my shizzle is fucked, would it be a bad choice, in your opinion, for this weekend? It can wait if so. Thanks.
Haha Don’t get me wrong, I still love the movie! But it’s pervy–Bowie with that young teenage girl. Go listen to “As the World Falls Down” and you’ll see it’s about the Golden Period and Devaluation. A wedding dress ball gown, anyone? I was a young, impressionable little empath watching that movie and fell hook, line, and sinker for it.
Nevertheless, I know the film by heart, love it, and Worm will always be my favorite character.
Oh, I see. This is a good assessment, I think I can safely proceed. I loved David Bowie though it sounds like I may not so much after seeing this movie. Thank you.
Good grief! Just watched the video and both of my wedding dresses were toned down versions of that ball gown!! What in the world?!?!? I look forward to finding out who Worm is.
Whoa. My mind is blown! I love Labyrinth too, I could probably recite every word. I always felt Bowie was creepy in it too but now I really should go watch it again with my Tudorglasses on. “Fear me. Love me. Do as I say and I will be your slave.” Uh, yeah, Goblin King. Whatever you say.
Don’t feel too bad. When we saw the Olivier Richard III in high school, I thought he was the hottest thing I’d ever seen. I wondered what the hell was wrong with me!
A Victor:
“both of my wedding dresses were toned down versions of that ball gown!!”
If you got married during the ’80s or the early ‘ 90s, you couldn’t avoid it.
Haha, that is true I suppose Violetta. Yes, ’84 and ’94!
HG, wow this article HG, it looked like your dark side came out when questioned your existence.
I wouldnt want to be in that room when those fangs came out.
Sensible, Eternity.
Once again Sir HG..brilliant!!
I have only read a few articles and writings from you..and I definitely want to read more..you are an evil genius 😊
But may I ask you, when you speak of you and your “kind” or the “creature within”, what do you mean?
Are you saying that this is not simply a disorder, spoken of by quacks?
Are you saying you are not human, and/or something like a “reptilian”, that conspiracy theorists think of??
Sorry if this question is already answered on your site, I have only just found your page, and have so much to learn, read and understand..
In my perspective, being a narc would seem to consume so much energy (maybe it is second nature to you, so its not so bad), but BIG props to you for making this site and having the time to write all your books, on top of your daily duties 👍
Ha! 😆 Nice comeback!
LET, by all means – have a consult with HG RE: Hunger Games – he’ll listen to you but will be stabbing a block of cheddar in the process (you may, or may not hear it happening in the background) LOL.
Ha ha, very good.
LOL, glad you approved that one 🙂
Haha, AspEmp, I was trying to secure a promise on the harming of unicorns 😛
I’d rather a block of cheese took the brunt of it in the circumstances, and just have to hope I don’t find myself locked in a room with a bowl of “nightlock” (poison berries) at the end of it all …
Well, I’m damned to hell now – the fact my blog pic is an unicorn with wings…. (sniggering) – the cheese is fked though LOLOL
Asp Emp! Stabbing a block of cheddar haha!! I heard that! Great imagination.
Thank you – goers to show that my LT is peaking…. 😉
When I hear those I want to think HG is speaking to me in iambic pentameter and marking the rhythm.
NA, (bawling my eyes out) – Star Wars is Shit? No, no, not the 1978 version. NO! How could you! Come on!! You know the “films” that are made today are shite – computer generated technology my arse. (I forgive you, this time 😉 )
NA has been sent to the trash compactor for her heresy!
Hahaha. I did work in a supermarket once and their compactors are not to be messed with!! You’d think a refuse van was dangerous enough LOLOL.
Thank you, HG x
NA just spoke the truth, HG. It had to be said, and it was said!
John William’s soundtrack, though, is sublime. That and Vangelis’ soundtrack in Blade Runner.
What do you think of Blade Runner 2049, SP?
I read this comment too fast and read ‘Vaginas’ soundtrack’. John Williams also does the original Superman. (LOL the soundtrack not the guy.)
Honestly, HG I was being a bit hyperbolic in my post about Star Wars. The truth is I think the original films are just ok. They’re not bad per se but more so overrated in my opinion. I think they’re films that can offer some entertainment for some but I don’t invest much in them.
What little I have seen of the later films look really boring and bad. I much prefer THX 1138 for Lucas.
And I do enjoy a lot of old, crappy sci fi films from the 50s and 60s for just camp fun.
Bibi, congrats! You found my subliminal message. Haha.
Bibi,
Ever seen Buck Rogers?
I watched that as a kid. Top drawer TV!
Ah, no. NOT him! Six Million Dollar Man!
The old Star Trek (William Shatner & co) – Space 1999! Yes – my dad took me to Pinewood Studios with him cos he created something for them – I vaguely remember it (6-7 years old)…. I had the spaceship – heavy metal thing it was…..
Eagle One.
…. yes, it was…. (thank you, much appreciated)
I do remember Buck Rogers. And all the Star Wars geeks know that Lucas was heavily influenced by Kurosawa’s The Hidden Fortress. It’s actually a pretty light, funny film.
Balls to that, you can all get fucked.
What? With a microwave or a fridge? LOL…. careful, HG, careful, Pamela will have something to say about that 😉 (sniggering)
Who?
LOLOLOL – absolutely – who? LOL
HG
No need to be upset with us, you can still play with your S.W dolls. (I do wonder what Cinnamon Buns will be subjected to now though).
I let my nephews play with them, I impress them by naming all the figures. The only thing I play with now are appliances.
The cinnamon buns are toast!
Dear HG: the only reason I know Star Wars is because my college boyfriend was a huge fan. He made me watch the whole original trilogy, out of which I thought The Empire Strikes Back was the best. It’s not my favorite, but I could learn to appreciate characters and parts of the story (fighting against Imperial armies is not a bad idea), and of curse the soundtrack as I said above (Cantina Band is adorable). I wanted to say my heart goes to you about your collection, because as the good girlfriend I was, I spent a fortune every birthday or Christmas on Star Wars figured for his collection: the Millenium Falcon, Stormtroopers, the Death Star, etc etc. Your mom is heartless.
Having said all that, I don’t have space here to talk about Blade Runner. It’s one of my favorites. Let’s take a rain check.
*rain check without tears, that is.
It didn’t HAVE to be said! It’s resulted in all the light sabres to come out and clash LOL
HGs definitely got his sabre out 😉
Pervert.
LOLOL…. how do you know about that?! 😉
HG, you know me too well 🙂
Just wishful thinking on my part, AspEmp 😉
HG has me pegged!
Haha, HG.
At least she wasn’t death starred!
HG– Battle Royale with Cheese reminded me instantly of Tarantino’s Pulp Fiction. What was in the suitcase? Fucking love that movie. Damn.
I’ve never seen any Star Wars. Am I unicorn?
No, but there is a programme dedicated to people like yourself BC30.
LOL
Seems that this may have to become a dedicated feature on your blog, HG.
There’s quite a few lined up for reprogramming at this stage!
Cheese and fucking rice this entire convo went of the rails and escalated quickly.
Such pedestrian tastes for an Elitist Ultra. Tisk tisk.
Pah, what utter nonsense.
Haha. Just for that HG I condemn you to watching Titanic over and over with Celine in the background.
Harsh Bibi!
I will not tell anyone what I think of Star Trek.
So there you go!
Saving yourself the need to be reprogrammed, AC 😉
AC
“I will not tell anyone what I think of Star Trek.”
Silence equals consent so I put you down as hating it haha.
Watching Titanic is harsh even without the Celine. They researched architecture and clothing, but the social mores were way off.
Star Wars IS shit. It is B-film trash. Even as a child I was bored AF. And I watched a TON of crap films in the 80s. This bored the shit outta me. Did NA say this? Am I not the only one who sees it? THANK GOD.
The 1978 film is kitsch. I will join her in the trash compactor.
I also despise:
Lord of the Rings (boring!)
Harry Potter (see above)
Anything with Tom Hanks
All Spielberg pics
Disney
Thanks for that. I now know what you will be made to watch over and over again.
Once I went to see a Rocky Marathon I have never been the same since. I was forced to sit there in the cinema that my butt was numb. Never again.
Haha HG. If you really want to torture me, make me watch Spielberg and Hanks together. Guaranteed to be a turd sandwich.
After your Titanic comment, you are getting said turd sandwich!
Haha. But you get Kate’s boobs at least. Just to clarify, I like Hanks as a person and he is good in some early films but when he does that ‘hard core drama’ or these potboiler thrillers I want to yak.
Oh, god! Not you as well?! Looks like a poll is in order HG – how many people think Star Wars 1978 is Shit. Include Harry Potter (yes it, shit); Lord of the Rings (ah fkg hell, I’d rather scratch my own eyes out!); ah, no, no, no, you CANNOT ‘diss’ Disney! No fkg way! Do you really hate Donald Duck, Mickey Mouse, Tom & Jerry (OMG, I loved those), Goofy – ah! No!!
Yes, damn you, you’re being lined up to go into the compactor!!
My ET is ok today (I loved that film too – so there!). 🙂
Ha ha you forgot Bugs Bunny !
LOL. Elmer and his gun…….. What about Road Runner?! No, Disney cannot be ‘dissed’…..
Yes ,loved those shows as a kid they were definitely classics. They dont make cartoon shows like that anymore
Totally agree with you. High fives on that! 🙂
Right back at you high fives back !
Road runner: boss.
BC30,
“WhoCares, why do you hate the (animated) Grinch?”
‘Hate’ isn’t quite the right word. I will watch it. And my son enjoys it. I simply have significant trouble embracing it – likely because I am loyal to original animated version.
Don’t get me wrong, I love animated movies (although I am partial to stop-motion animation or those that combine old school film technology with new technology, for example The Box Trolls, or The Gruffalo).
The animation in the new version of ‘The Grinch’ is a very pretty, but about as satisfying as cotton candy.
And I really, really dislike when you get a watered down version of the ‘baddie’, as in the new Grinch.
Even Jim Carrey’s version of the Grinch, in the live action movie, managed to remain somewhat true to original feel of the Grinch character, but in addition, Carrey made the role ‘his own’. Aside, from views of him as a person, the physicality of Jim Carrey’s acting was a good pairing there – although, when I heard that a live version was being made, I had a serious hope that Tim Curry would play the Grinch (because I had always thought that if any actor could pull it off, it would be him) – and I was quite, initially, disappointed that Carrey was doing it.
BC30, lol, that may be more than you wanted to know re: my opinion of the new Grinch, but you asked!
Wow – how’d that end up there?
Hopefully you see this BC30 🙂
Hello?
Hello Asp Emp!
I have no idea why my comment to BC30 fell here. Due to the dirth of reply buttons I attempted (unsuccessfully) to reply to her at the top of the thread.
Although I do have a reply to you on the ‘Stargazing With the Shieldmaiden..’ thread.
Thank you WhoCares 🙂
WC, Oh, I was mistaken about which version you were referring to. I LOVE the original and have a grinchy little heart most of the time. I haven’t watched any other version. Tim Curry is a god among men, so that’s how I feel about that. ❤️
BC30,
Tim Curry is definitely one-of-a-kind.
Tim Curry?!
The Rocky Horror Picture Show. EHEM!!
SERIOUSLY?!?! He’s prancing about in high heels, lip stick, short skirt.
OMG. NO! NO! NO!
BC30
Any mention of Tim Curry lightens up the day.
Asp Emp, I’m with you on this one. Tim Curry has always been way too emotional, soft even, for my taste. This is why I’m concerned about being bored with a normal or empathic man.
I know, focusing on NC and reducing ET. ET will go down, I will no longer be fearful of this. And studying all the while. Giving it time.
Isn’t it interesting that when a narc mirrors us back (basically, our own empathic nature offered back to us in illusion) that we find it enticing – yet, a “real” example of us (i.e. an empathic man) is considered less attractive, or boring?
A Victor, I no longer find them (empathic men) boring, I find them to be intriguing characters when I am able to discern them from the narcs.
Great! Someone agrees with me RE: Tim Curry. “This is why I’m concerned about being bored with a normal or empathic man.” I have said similar. You are doing well. Stay strong x
WhoCares, yes, that is an interesting observation. Somehow the mirroring back by the narc livened me up, haha. On my own, I am pretty boring! And I’m okay with that! But I also enjoy the livened up version via the narc. Odd.
Thank you for the words of encouragement that in time this perception will change and I will likely embrace “boring”. I look happily forward to that.
You guys…
So many ladies here on Narcsite. Some films are appreciated for Halldír, innit.
Han Solo, professor Snape, Voldemort (oops, I just threw in a narcissist actor), Christopher Lee.
I often appreciate the few sexy characters much more than the nerdy film itself.
Yeah, can’t really disagree on that comment – but I’m not saying nuffin’ 😉
Asp Emp
Actually, the actor playing Data once made me watch an entire minute of Star Trek.
(crying with laughter)… Data? Watching Data for a whole minute? Congratulations! LOLOLOL. Thank you for that ‘dollop’ of serotonin x
“Actually, the actor playing Data once made me watch an entire minute of Star Trek.”
Hahaha!
AC,
I am laughing at your statement and at myself –
I totally had a thing for Captain Jean-Luc Picard.
Oh? Did you now? I’m still saying nuffin’…. I have ‘grown up’ now and only watch films / tv for entertainment – not for the actors themselves. Thank you for sharing though 😉
Asp Emp,
I watched the original Star Trek and Star Trek The Next Generation with my father because we both enjoyed Sci-Fi. My favourite actors were Leonard Nimoy, Patrick Stewart and Michael Dorn. Jean-Luc Picard just happened to be one of the few balding men that I find attractive.
But I never watched any of those for eye candy 🙂
Sci-Fi films – me too. I actually just recalled a book that I absolutely loved (had me laughing so much at the words & descriptions) – ‘Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy’. I had forgotten about that book until now….. I hated the film / tv series – absolutely nothing like the book and I am so glad I read that first.
WhoCares, Asp Emp
And our lists of attractive men look different after being introduced to HG Tudor’s world and with more Logical thinking due to NC, don’t they.
Patrick Stewart and Brent Spiner seem typical empaths to me.
We will never be immune.
But it gets better. Since being in a more calm state, I am better att recognizing nonnarcissists.
FYI, I don’t have a “list” you called it 🙂
Patrick Stewart I can get on board with, very hot, empath or not.
Asp Emp, in the case of Pierce, I am not grown up yet. Hugh Laurie, same. And a couple of others. But, I don’t watch many movies anymore at all and most are for entertainment or, more recently, learning, ha, about what else? Narcissism!
Bibi, great list.
hypotetically speaking, if we don’t wrestle against flesh and blood but of principlaties, rulers, in the heavenly places and we are spirit, this could actually be so true but then, they would be soulish, their exisistence not much, yes, they would be here to test our faith, one not knowing God could get real mad, and question or blame, why we would end up with such person, test of faith or not. If we know we are with such soulish persons, it’s our responsability and right to figure out the wounds that keep our despair. Fight against such a spirit, if it should hypothetically be at all true. I do love the metaphoric ways of explanation, in much of your writings. They are usually very super naturally, spiritually written, as far as my perception on some
HG put up a post in the last few days where he stated that narcissists have no soul.
Their actions would appear to make that so. Lack of conscience, empathy, malice.
I think every human being has a soul. It can never be taken from them.
But, something has been taken from them. I just don’t accept it is their soul.
I don’t think they can access their souls.
That could be true, AV. No person is born without a soul.
The narcissistic defense may prevent them from access.
Denial of self is a rejection of their very essence or being.
Your comments are what I have been thinking. I have wondered if it is within their creature or perhaps even is their creature but they cannot feel safe enough to allow themselves access to it to find out.
My mother and the summer narc have very strongly held religious beliefs but do not live according to them. But they would both tell you that they are “true believers”. Their inability to be introspective is so evident with regard to this.
I think it may remain a mystery but, especially with regard to my mother, it makes me very sad.
Yes, AV, I would tie this one to the Creature as well. Thinking along similar lines again. In a sense you could say the narcissist has separated themselves from their soul. Or the defence has done that for them. And they can no longer access it. And, as you say, they do not feel safe to access it. The Creature must remain locked away and the fortress must be impenetrable.
And when you mention your mother and the summer narc and their religious beliefs it does show the blind spot they have in terms of their ability to introspect. They believe that they believe, even though they don’t have access to the part of themselves which would involve a true encounter in terms of their belief.
It will remain a mystery, and I share your sense of sadness with regard to that.
If there is a God, then God denied children lifetime access to their souls and committed them to a life of unquenchable thirst for validation because of abuse they suffered? That seems very cruel to me.
The discussion around this one could become quite complex, BC30.
What I don’t believe is that narcissist’s do not have a soul. Others disagree that there is even such thing as a soul or that narcissist’s have one (compared to other people).
What I’m considering is that they somehow have lost access to it. They appear to have lost touch with an essential part of themselves, the part that connects them to others.
How did that happen? As HG says, a GDP and LOCE.
While our genes essentially can’t be changed, our environment can.
Where you might place the blame on God, I place it on those who create the LOCE. And that pertains to free will. People who impact on our lives have a choice about how they do that. People who do not intervene in those situations also have a choice. The responsibility for what happens essentially belongs to us.
The upshot of that is God gave us free will.
And that is why HGs advice is so essential.
(A very ‘nutshell’ version based on my own beliefs, but the cruelty of the situation cannot be denied. God does not create the situation or condone it. We do.)
If you do not believe in God then your answers are down to science. Which does provide some of the answers (re: genetics, etc.). I’m just not convinced science has all the answers, and for the most part the scientists would probably agree.
We always seem to end up at the crossroads of mystery.
LET,
I don’t usually join these conversations. I don’t really have much to add to them. I’m not religious but I’m not opposed to religion in itself. In actual fact if I had to choose one I would choose to be Sikh, but that’s a different discussion.
I do have my own belief system, it’s specific to me really, doesn’t have a name. People could set their minds to it and blast it out the water and that’s fine, it won’t change my view.
The soul. I believe we all have one. I just don’t believe it floats away to heaven or hell. When it’s over it’s over. I believe that the whole point is quite simply people, humankind if you like. The point of our time here is to interact, to love, to bond, experience friendship, loss, all the emotions both good and bad. To experience, to pause, to look, to take in. Very occasionally, for an unknown reason we are truly moved. It could be the sun just starting to rise over an empty field, a look that your child gives that you catch, a loss, or the moment your heart breaks. In this moment I believe we leave a part of ourselves behind. A recording of sorts. I think this is what people feel, ‘see’ when they report seeing a ghost. It’s a connection with what came before, the essence of someone, a small part left in that moment. This to me is a part of the soul.
Do narcissists have one? The above thoughts suggest not but, there is the connectedness, the interweaving of thoughts and emotions sent out into the world by humankind. So, take HG, he isn’t moved, he therefore leaves nothing. However, what is he putting out into the world? How many bad situations are replaced by good? How many souls will now get to leave a part of themselves behind in a moment that otherwise might have been lost? By default he does place good in the world. This might not be intentional, or planned necessarily but the end result remains the same. He also places bad into the world but then, so do we all. I’m not big into weights and measures.
Secondly. He was a child once. Born innocent, born with a soul. I am unaware of anyone being said to sell it, trade it, lose it or give it away. Occasionally, he will unknowingly make a move that is not entirely self centred. Even with the matrix for a brain, not all things are calculated, not all things can be consciously noticed thus controlled. We filter out and ignore huge amounts of information. It’s my view that the construct cannot process all.
He won’t go to heaven but, neither will I. Overall, I agree with you and disagree with HG on this point. He has a soul. Narcissists were born with a soul and do not lose it to narcissism.
I’d prefer to trip over an empath recording rather than a narc one though!
Hey, TS, thank you for sharing your thoughts <3
There is no doubt each and every person leaves their mark in this world, for better or worse. HG is leaving his mark by producing his legacy. I can only admire him for the difference it will, and has made, in so many peoples lives. Some of us might find that legacy in our children, our work, in the various ways we reach out to others. But a piece of us definitely lives on to say we were here and we mattered.
I have a natural bent towards justice and what I would call objective truth. That has probably led me on the path to where I am today, including the beliefs I hold. None of my family share those beliefs. It is something inherent in me. It is also how I align myself with the world. I guess we must all find a way to align ourselves. This is my way.
And in that way, I can be much like the narcissist in terms of black and white thinking. What this alignment does is provide me with certainty. But what it also does is move me away from the shifting sands, comparable to those of the narcissist.. The equivalent of building my house upon the rock. It does not mean I can't appreciate other perspectives and experiences, but it does mean I am grounded in the truth as I understand it. That gives me stability.
I know not everyone agrees. We are not all meant to agree. And I think there are many ways we reach the conclusions we do which hold meaning for us and guide us on our way. For some that might mean there is no God and meaning is to be found in the here and now. For me, there is a God and meaning extends to all eternity.
I have the hope of Heaven, and not just for myself.
As with anything in life, there are no guarantees. I will just know I have lived the best life I can and imagine others are doing the same.
And haha to tripping over an empath recording. Definitely hope to be more in tune with the good vibes than the bad xox
LET,
Thank you for your response and open minded approach to my way of thinking x.
I feel the same. I try to live my best life too. I think it’s important to have a belief system. A form of structure, a code to live by. Perspectives might be different but to bounce along without any code at all must seem pointless. I suppose people would argue their focus is money or success etc. I would prefer to be more successful than unsuccessful. Would prefer a roof over my head than destitution but there has to be something more. A point.
Anyways, I’ll bow out now, meaning of life is not my strong point other than I kind of know mine ha ha!
This post frustrated me because she reacted like that. I am curious to see what traits I have because I wish a motherf*cker would get in my face. I wonder what my anger is all about, can’t wait for my Trait Detector results.
Aha! My results matched this reaction exactly!! HG knows his stuff.
Thank you BC30.
This post always greatly amuses me.
It’s true though
Wow! Hard hitting post once again.
I’m not surprised she burst into tears.
And that is the final word.
Do you really believe, HG, that your purpose it to test our belief in God? Or was that just in answer to Hannah?
I do believe you have a purpose. And that we are constantly being tested.
I’d just like to know what is true from your point of view.
I am the test.
I am the test of your belief in God, Allah, Buddha or Yoda.
I am the test of your patience, temper, tolerance or self-restraint
I am the test of your sanity, stability and reason.
I am the test of your resistance, willpower and desire.
Yes, you are.
And the test for me entered the spiritual realm.
At a certain point in our relationship the following quote came randomly to mind (coupled with a number of unpleasant experiences, including bad dreams).
“Abandon all hope, ye who enter here”
I’m sure you know it from Dante’s Inferno.
It was an indication the gauntlet had been thrown down and the test was underway.
It was possible to submit to this darkness.
I didn’t know it was his darkness, but I felt it all around me.
And it was beginning to appear in our relationship.
From my experience the testing can be experienced on a number of levels.
And acknowledging that can also prepare us to respond.
Interesting.
Everything for me is about the spiritual realm.
That’s so interesting NJF. I accept there is a spiritual realm and I certainly experienced it with my narcissist in the sense I mentioned.
Sometimes it’s what you’re attuned to and, of course, also depends on what you believe. Most people who have experienced a relationship with a narcissist will have also experienced an element of ‘darkness’. That is unavoidable. For me it correlates to a spiritual aspect and the words which came to my mind certainly confirmed that for me. “Abandon all hope”. We know now the relationship with the narcissist is a hopeless one, or one without hope. Change is not possible. That is hard to hear and can be even harder to comprehend, but it was confirmed for me in the spiritual realm. A kind of “save yourself” caveat, which is also what HG recommends. I wish I had ‘listened’. But I am listening now x
lickemt:
I believe everything that happens in our material world comes from the spiritual realm in some way. Nothing stands alone or apart from it.
I feel darkness with my narc father. Not so much with my narc mother. I only intermittently felt darkness with my narc boyfriend, but I can recall hearing my intuition in my head telling me something was not right several times. I ignored it until it was definite that he was unstable.
Now that I know about narcissists and empaths I absolutely believe there is a spiritual component related to it, but I do believe this about everything anyway.
I don’t believe it’s as simple as empaths = good and going to heaven. Narcissists = evil and going to hell.
I agree njfilly, it’s not that simplistic, empaths good etc. I don’t know what it is or how is resolved though.
I could live happily my entire life without such a test.
HG, do you think a narcissist can achieve awakening of self-consciousness? I don’t believe so because that would involve a deep level of self-reflection that I think your kind actually tries to avoid at all costs.
Could you expand on what you mean by an “awakening of self-consciousness”?
I certainly could, but “the tao that can be named is not the Tao” or “words are very unnecessary.” It’s an experience rather than a concept. Awakening, being aware of your core self. Pure consciousness would be the closest definition I can think of. Star Wars’ representation of The Force is not a bad idea, though less mystified, as energy / consciousness. I am not talking about any religious view, I don’t follow any.
Have you ever personally known God ( whatever the person’s religion calls it?) Do you doubt others who have?
When I look in the mirror.
That is pretty funny to be fair.
Haha HG,
I’m excited to finally get a look at you if that’s the case.
Although some religions would suggest it’s not possible to look on the face of God. Certainly it wasn’t possible in the Old Testament. God appeared in the form of the burning bush. And those ancients only ever heard His voice. Wow. Come to think of it, your sounding more and more like the God of the Old Testament as I go along!
I even saw a post yesterday about the Ten Commandments!
There may be some bolting on to the facade with residual benefits …
To be fair, your’s is an accurate statement, HG:
Gen 1:27 “God made man in His image, after His likeness…”
What about Holley Alexander? The atheist neurologist who was clinically dead and “saw “ God? Was he lying? What about those who have connected and know? Insane? Of course, no one knows all, we did not create life and even Hawking questioned the God particle. Some things cannot be explained says the atheist. Does the narc?
I believe Hell is disconnect. It is nothingness. The goats eye is blank. But I do not know if a good but adverse, or lost, or tormented soul is intervened.
I agree with you LET. I believe we are all here to learn, and everyone we meet, every situation we find ourselves in, is part of that learning process. My recent experiences and revelations have only strengthened that belief, not shaken it.
Still not sure re HG’s reply to your question whether he did truly mean it or not, what he said to Hannah. Although on reflection, yoda?! Think that probably answers it.. Xx
JB, I believe you and LET are correct, that we are here to learn. And I believe that everything happens for a reason, toward that end of learning. And my recent experiences bring me to the same conclusion, strengthening that belief.
I had the sense when reading the article that HG came up with that response to Hannah because he knew it was the one that would work on her, to stop her in her tracks so he could gain control again. Had it been someone else that would’ve responded better to different words or behaviors, he would’ve chosen those. One thing I’ve been realizing is the moment to moment-ness of the need for control seems to make the narcissist quick, much quicker than average, in their thought process and their ability to see what will work in any given situation. Such is the terror of the idea of losing control I think. It makes me more sad than ever for them, my mother is completely controlled by this, there is no possibility of having a true relationship with her because she cannot control this fear she has, she cannot just have a conversation. These are just thoughts I have, much more to learn I’m sure. Thank you for your comment, it was thought provoking for me, helping to put all this together.
Always enjoy hearing your thoughts, AV, and they make a lot of sense to me. Especially where you mention the context of the interaction and how this may have impacted HGs response. It was lightening quick and, in this instance, overwhelming. Control was regained and any threat was averted. Once again those narcissistic defences won the day.
Like you, I have never been able to have a true relationship with my mother. There are moments I have felt sad for her before becoming aware of the narcissistic dynamic. Partly because something told me she could not receive what I had to give. I lack any sympathy for her now after coming into full knowledge of the damaging nature of her narcissism. That is how it must be in order for me to keep myself safe.
LET, I just realized you said you have the same issue with your mother. Do you have contact with her?
Hi AV, no I no longer have contact with my mother. It’s been over two years with an attempted hoover on her part over a year ago. Even though I wasn’t as knowledgeable about narcissism then, I still knew it was a trap which I had no intention of falling into. She had successfully smeared me to my siblings and created a rift there, so ultimately that means I am no contact with them as well. They have consistently sided with her, refused to hear anything negative about her, and the fact I have also been the scapegoat child my whole life also means I fulfill that role for the family. It is a family dynamic which many scapegoat children will recognize. We are painted black and those who side with the narcissist also paint us black. Neither my brother or sister are empathic, so that possibly contributes to the situation as well. The don’t see what I see, haven’t experienced what I have, and basically lack the empathy to respond in any other way. My mother is very ‘covert’ in her actions (passive aggressive) and manages her facade very well. It all adds up.
LET, I can see how this would be easier but at the same time perhaps difficult. Thank you for sharing, I’m in the process of considering how to proceed with my mother and hearing such stories is helpful.
LET says,
“We are painted black and those who side with the narcissist also paint us black.”
“My mother is very ‘covert’ in her actions (passive aggressive) and manages her facade very well.”
Boy do I understand what you mean. When I leave my husband, this will happen to me. HIs whole family will take his side. I have to prepare myself for that.
Hey Leigh, I guess that’s down to what a lot of people refer to as the flying monkey syndrome and it is best to be prepared. Thankfully HG has the resources here to help with that x
Leigh, you will have to be very well prepared, very strong and able to really get well away. I hope you can make it work, make it happen. As people have told me, keep talking to us, there is nothing else we can do really to help you, it is a bit frustrating.
LET, maybe I said this elsewhere but my siblings blame my dad for not protecting us. I think they are okay with me personally but don’t see how our mother is either, though they do see the behaviors. It’s an odd thing. I wish the three of us could talk about it. I really miss them being involved in our family more.
AV, it’s good to know your siblings don’t have a problem with you and you can still have a relationship with them. It’s sad when these issues cause rifts within a family. We all respond differently to the impact of narcissism and it’s possible for the non-intervening parent to be blamed. It would be nice if you could talk about it with them as your mother’s narcissism has affected you all, and obviously they are aware of her behaviours even if they don’t know what is at the bottom of them. They seem to be more focused on you father’s response and the fact they feel let down by him. I’m sure it would mean a great deal for all of you to have eachother’s support. Hopefully those communication channels can be opened up soon xox
Maybe at some point, I won’t be rushing into it though, too many emotions involved right now. But, maybe at some point. They don’t live nearby so it would take effort, I wouldn’t want those kinds of talks to happen over the phone.
You’re welcome, AV. I think you are spot on about HG’s response to Hannah. I know how you feel regarding what you said about your mum and no possibility of having a true relationship with her, my dad is the same. It is sad, really sad. Sad for us, and sad for them too; grieving what we know we can never have from them, and lamenting that they will never know true fulfilment.
Life is all about learning and growth. In that sense we hope to benefit from our experiences, and sadly some require us to overcome the trauma before we can even begin to benefit from them. Sometimes the benefit of them is necessarily passed on to others as we wrestle with the consequences. It is unfortunate that it is the hard lessons in life that seem to teach us most thoroughly. But if we can learn from them then hopefully we are better for them.
For the most part I would not wish the hard lessons on anyone. They can be soul destroying.
Only HG really knows if he meant what he said. He does believe he is a test/the test. To me that has all kinds of spiritual connotations – especially as it has been mentioned in the context of God.
Yet we know from what HG has said he does not believe in God. So Hannah’s question may have required a response related to God even if HG does not believe in the existence of such a being.
He can refer to any and every god as a means of testing. It matters not. It is a fact that narcissist’s see themselves as god in their own universe. They have no need of the penultimate God. He does not exist to them. And therefore, I believe the test that is being applied relates to the narcissist’s own godhead.
Aarrrgh to the Star Wars reference 😛 All I know is what Yoda looks like. I’m a lost cause xox
LET, same here re Yoda. Never watched Star Wars! Just doesn’t appeal to me at all!
It’s become thoroughly confusing now with the prequels. They are making a prequel to the Hunger Games, I think, and I doubt I’ll watch it because prequels don’t interest me. It’s a money making venture as far as I’m concerned. Even sequels suffer as they try to draw more blood out of a story. It becomes too distant from the original and I lose interest. Some stories a just not meant to be added to either way, though Star Wars fans may disagree 😛
And I’m going to be totally sexist here in saying I always thought Star Wars was more of a guy thing. I may well have been proven wrong in that assessment, so best if I say no more 😉
The Hunger Games. Pah, Battle Royale with Cheese.
Ha, HG!
You know we will never agree x
I’m determined to watch Battle Royale one day.
Perhaps you could watch the Hunger Games?
I started watching. I thought Battle Royale with Cheese and drowned a unicorn in retribution.
Haha, HG 😛
At least you tried.
Drowning a unicorn in retribution seems a bit harsh, though. I hope MB doesn’t read this. She might glitter bomb you in revenge 🙂
Star Wars is shit.
There. I said it.
Oh The Devastation of the Illusion. Might want to add a consultation on the menu bar for those addicted and unable to move on from shitty cinema.
NA, one of the bravest women I know!
Prepare for retribution 😉 (Hide your unicorns)
I will attest to one thing … I love the music. Da da, dadada da da … very inspiring.
Definitely add a consultation and I think HG and I may eventually need to have one of those for the Hunger Games 🙂 Can I consult you on the Hunger Games, HG?
If you wish.
JB, you aren’t missing anything with regard to Star Wars.
I didn’t like the premise of the Hunger Games but I love the Divergent trilogy, fascinating ideas of how differing and similar humans behave in a society. Narcissists abound in both though I think.
Unbeliever! Drive the heretic out!
Star Wars IS shit
The first ex narc made me watch it and the god father
It must have been part of the abuse
K will be along shortly to Death Star your heretical ass!
Well Witch, you’ve done it again…”part of the abuse” hahaha!
I disagree on the Godfather though, awesome movies.
Heretic?! What did I miss?!
YAY!!!
Prepare to be challenged 🙂
I need a promise no unicorns will be harmed during (or after) the consultation.
Put your money where your mouth is, until then LET, remain still!
…HG you’re a Star Wars fan?
Ha haha
HAHAHA
Ha hahahhaha
Sorry, that’s cute that’s real cute
Oh yes. I have all the figures still and can name every single one. MatriNarc sold all of the spaceships etc, my Millenium Falcon, X-wings, snow speeders, star destroyers, AT-AT, scout trooper, rebel transport ship and many others with out my permission (or knowledge) at the time when I was a child. I managed to liberate all my figures though before she could sell them.
Bloody hell, HG, how could she!! Good that you ‘saved’ the figures.
Easily, she is a cunt.
sniggering
“K will be along shortly to Death Star your heretical ass!”
Hahaha!
“Star Wars is shit.”
No, no, no NA.
You want to talk cinematic shit?
That animated REMAKE of The Grinch.
*Remakes*..grrrr
The original Star Wars trilogy rocked.
The prequels and sequels? Meh.
I agree, where do you place Rogue One?
Well said Violetta, I am pleased you said so. Yup, the “new” ones are rubbish.
NA, you have spoken my thoughts. Soul Sister!
When I was a kid, my empath mom asked me if I would rather see Return of the Jedi or Superman III at the movies.
I chose Superman III. Not that that was a good film, but Star Wars I found incredibly boring as a child. I am weird, I much preferred 2001 and 2010 for SF.
Oh dear, looks like I have opened a can of worms here, sorry! 😂
Thinking about it, I think I did see a Star Wars film once, thousands of years, ago, but only because an old boyfriend (not a narcissist!) loved it. Can’t remember the content at all though, just left me cold.
@HG
Wwoooowwww you had to go and use a pity play to get to me didn’t you!?
Did it work? Yes
That is the cutest shit HG, you have a thing
Fuck Matrinarc
NA please slap me now!
It wasn’t a pity play, I was merely confirming two things for you. One, I do like Star Wars and two, my other is a narcissist and this was one of her manipulations used against me as a child.
HG, your mum sold your things without even asking you? That’s a horrible thing to do, especially to a child. Some people just shouldn’t be parents!
Indeed, typical of her of course given what she is.
Nooooo, HG.
You had to draw the Princess Bride into it??
This shit is serious, WC, no holds barred with my responses.
Pahaha…cracking up!
My time here has given me many more insights into that movie, HG.
I am preparing to put my money where my mouth is as I depend on your expertise.
And thank you for offering to hear my thoughts and answer my questions.
You know I appreciate it.
Wow! So surprised to see so many Star Wars haters. The originals hold a special place in my heart because my Dad and I watched them often together. I am so jealous of your collection, HG! Monstrous of your mother. 🙁
The Prequels were pretty awful though, and the latest are entertaining but ultimately fan service. I liked the spinoffs like Rogue One and Solo more, but my favorite thing to come out of the franchise since Disney purchased is The Mandalorian, and not just for the adorable baby.
Fair comment Fox.
Rogue One was awesome. I knew where they were going, but I didn’t know how they were going to get there, and there was the constant tension of wondering what would happen to the protagonists on the way. It was a real war movie.
It also answered the question of that design “flaw,” one that a child of five would object to on the “Evil Overlord” list.
I agree. You can come round and watch it with me. K, will keep the heretics out with The Death Star.
The Death Star is here! All heretics line up and prepare to be superlasered into oblivion and no sniveling!!!
Witch
The novel, The Godfather, by Mario Puzo was much better than the movie.
Ah, My Death Star has arrived. Let us witness its sheer power with a display of atomising the heretics. K, you may fire when ready.
HG, it’s no surprise, given what she is, but it’s still so heartwrenching. I just don’t know how any mother can do that to their child.
@A victor
The godfather was definitely better than Star Wars but it didn’t resonate with me so I didn’t watch the other movies, thought it was a bit over rated tbh
I wouldn’t say I was a movie buff or anything but my favourite movies that I could watch multiple times are Pan’s labyrinth, the witch (2015) (no surprise there!) and children of men, also hell boy 2
Now I’m going to expose myself …
My favourite cringe as fuck cheesy romantic movie is, 10 things I hate about you. HG mind your god damn business!!!
You avoided the dungeon for Pan´s Labyrinth and Children of Men. The latter was still decent even though the books is far superior.
WhoCares, why do you hate the (animated) Grinch?
It feels like a pity play HG. But, I am sorry your mother did that. Mine recently spotted my Snoopy lunchbox, complete with intact thermos, in the garage and suggested I sell it. Ugh.
Its not, I do not do them. I explained that I like Star Wars and that was reinforced by her behaviour towards me, hence it was relevant.
The irony is, they are worth far more now than when she sold them, but if course, she couldn’t put profit ahead of fuel.
They were out of the boxes though Violetta and had been taken on many an intergalactic adventure.
Darth Renardus here
I find myself reading a lot of these answers and just wondering, ‘Where did I go Wrong? Where?
Hg
DR here.
Bad show on the loss of the infrecture. Many regrets. Bro and I have observed this policy of ‘removal’ from other parents. He had thankfully saved a lot of ‘our stash’. Including an orginal Falcon plus AT-AT, AT-ST, hopefully a X-Wing plus figures. From all three.
I want to spend one snowy Xmas, assembling the Lego ‘Death Star, Mk2’
I must go and find a minion… [garumph]
Muahahaha… powering up the Superlaser!
Narc mothers are the worst for giving away stuff you love!
I had a special collection of Enid Blyton books in a series. There was a devastating natural disaster close to Christmas where we lived and there was a request for donations to help provide Christmas gifts for children affected. We went through our things (back in the day when everything didn’t have to be brand new) to donate. It was only after the fact I realized my mother had also ‘donated’ part of my collection. What can I say? She did it without my knowledge, permission and she also made damn sure I couldn’t get upset about it … after all, think of the children.
Lickemtomorrow, I’m so sorry. I loved Enid Blyton. I also loved the Just William series, I don’t know if you were familiar with it. I never let my mother get rid of any of my books, though she has a compulsion to throw away stuff. Think of the Diogenes syndrome in reverse. I understand how frustrating that is. I still revisit my childhood readings when I go home, and I continue to enjoy them. Books are my life, nobody gets rid of them! 😘
Do you threaten to scweam and scweam and scweam until you are sick?
LOLOLOL
I’ll sthcweam and sthcweam and sthcweam!! Hahaha, obnoxious Violet Elizabeth Bott!
How I wanted her to scream and then gasp and rasp as I slowly squeezed her trachea.
I can’t believe you know this series, HG!
I have older members of Clan Tudor to thank for this.
My narcissist father was the one that shared this interest with me. He bought me a collection of the Richmal Crompton’s series: “William the Dictator,” “William the Gangster,” “William the Rebel,” etc, and then they played the TV series although the books were more fun. It’s definitely old, that’s why I was surprised you knew about it.
Dearest Lickemtomorrow,
I happened to come across the complete collection of Enid Blyton books at the Op shop the other day …. has your name on it 😢
Luv Bubbles xx 😘
Awww, Bubbles, you are the best <3
It would be so good to complete my collection again x
For now the two that I did managed to rescue have travelled the world with me and I keep them close by. I have already written in the covers for my children so they can be passed down. I see HG is enjoying sharing the loot he managed to save with his nephews. The child in us lives on xox
Makes me think I should do more rummaging to find these special treasures, too!
I do apologise, I forgot you, as the ultra, and graters, don’t do pity plays. Thank you for reminding me.
Witch, Children of Men and the Hellboy movies were great, I haven’t seen Pan’s Labyrinth or The Witch.
Don’t feel bad, my all-time favorite movies are As Good as It Gets and Mamma Mia. Lol!
K, perhaps I can be spared the Death Star superlasering, my 6 year old grandson loves Star Wars enough for both of us…please…:)
“Squeeze her trachea” ! Bloody hell, HG! Just slightly scared of you now! 😯
You need not be. I am not referring to your trachea.
I didn’t know they’d done a production of Just William. Good Lord. Very non-PC now, with the gender-typing, the boys occasionally slugging each other to settle disputes, and the general contempt for adult moralizing, a la Tom Sawyer. Hilarious stuff, picked some up at a charity shop ona trip to the UK.
A Victor
Hahahahahaha…you may have to plead your case to the High Court of Tudor; I am just the executioner, however, I will put in a good word for you.
Thank you K, I’d hate to leave my little guy grandma-less!
If you don’t mind my asking, how do you figure in to this picture? I haven’t seen you much but understand you to be a long time presence here, clearly a Star Wars fan. I am pretty new, just trying to get my bearings on who’s who etc.
The Empire Strikes Back is by far the best episode for many reasons. Completely agree HG.
Thank you FYC.
@ A victor
You have to watch Pans labyrinth and the Witch.
Pans labyrinth is Narc related.
I also forgot to mention “the Craft” which is the best cheesy teen movie of all time, that and “thirteen” (2003) (also narc related)
Witch, YES, and YES!! I’ve seen Pan’s Labyrinth so many times and I never get tired of it. And The Craft!!! I love it, have you watched the 2020 version? I still haven’t.
Witch, it’s good I have a long weekend coming up, if I can tear myself away from this site long enough to watch a movie or two, hahaha, I will check a couple of those out!
Hi SP, thanks for your thoughts. Most people know the Famous Five and Secret Seven series of the Enid Blyton books. Mine were part of the Barney series and I think what captivated me was the mystery in those stories. I’ve always loved a good mystery. Which is why when HG talks about “conspiracy theorists” I have to admit there are some things that just get me hooked. I watched a recent doco on the JFK assassination and theories abound. After taking a public poll and dissecting the evidence the #1 conclusion was the mafia did it. The experts will never agree. I’m not quite sure where a love of mystery, and a desire to discover the truth, ends and becoming a conspiracy theorist starts! But I will always be intrigued.
Ah, lickemtomorrow, do you know what I enjoyed the most in those books? The tea parties and the “exotic” things they ate. From a foreigner’s perspective it all sounded so delicious to me!! The Turkish delight in the Narnia series for example was pretty familiar, but those hams and cucumber sandwiches and ginger beer…
Lickemtomorrow, guess what. The beach house where we are staying (a good neighbor’s/friend’s) has a shelf full of books and I have found two treasures!!! One is an anthology of flash-fiction. “The Memory Priest of the Creech People” by Paul Theroux is my favorite so far, but I’ve only finished 7. Then I discovered a game-book for children, Can You See What I See? On a Scary, Scary Night. It’s a collection of pictures with a million objects and you are asked to find items: a witch, a fox, 3 owls, one wishbone … I like those because you usually pay a lot of detailed attention but very often when you zoom out and see the whole picture instead of analyzing in detail, the objects pop up. I thought of you because you value books and fantasy as much as I do! How does this relate to narcissism? It doesn’t apparently but I can think of a way to make it fit. For example: it would be perfectly splendid if HG fancied to grant us some flash fiction reading…
@SP
Every lesbian and bisexual woman loves the craft, I swear it’s a sign 🤣
I can’t believe they remade it!!! Aaarrggghhh
I haven’t seen it. The craft is nothing without Fairuza Balk. I won’t even dare to watch the remake
But of course, Witch! Power to the queer! Oh yes, I am skeptical too. Fairuza Balk was way too good. I think one of everybody’s favorite scenes is the one when she morphs into Sarah (hey! Shape shifting!) to seduce her boyfriend and when she gets mad and drags across the room levitating on her tiptoes, so creepy!!!! I think they mean it as a sequel, it’s called The Craft: Legacy. But it doesn’t look like the reviews have been very good so far. I’m not surprised though.
A Victor
Hahahahaha…I will strongly recommend The Dungeon for you so your grandson won’t become grandma-less!
I don’t mind at all; I am in The Maintenance stage of recovery (I was an IPPS, now I am a Former Intimate Partner (FIP), low contact) so I have been spending more time reading and hanging out on The Ultra and less time commenting.
HG, good! Making mental note not to ever get on the wrong side of you! 😂
K, thank you, though the dungeon sounds almost as horrible as being light sabered! Lol!
I am encouraged by your success story! How long have you been working at it? Thank you for sharing!
Dearest Lickemtomorrow,
You’re sentimental and nostalgic just like moi !
It’s amazing what you can find in Op shops, next to Enid B was a new hardback copy GWTW for $1
I’ve seen boxes of lego, Star Wars you name it (except HG Tudor books) haha
You owe it to yourself to complete the collection ☺️
Good luck lovely one
Luv Bubbles xx 😘
Your love of books shines through, SP, and I forgot to say I have never read the “Just William” series. These books now exist in what would seem to be a bit of a ‘time warp’, but the flavour of them, and the exotic nature for some as you suggest, is a real draw card. Fantasy was a must when I was a child. It was a form of escape and I was able to get far way as I read these stories. Exist in another world. Which is the purpose of all fiction and fantasy. I longed for another life, and stories gave me a way to project myself into another existence. I could follow the characters and journey with them. I could meet challenges with them and overcome obstacles. They were a tool to enable me to experience life in a different way.
I guess it is the same for all of us. And some stories completely change our life trajectory. I know that happened with me. This is where I sometimes struggle with the concept of ideas being developed by narcs. Whether it’s in terms of songs or movies or stories. I do find they often capture the essence of something that can’t be grasped any other way. And it goes beyond emotional thinking. It is somehow a moment where we go beyond ourselves. I don’t know how narcs are able to generate that, but I have noticed there are more than a few Taylor Swift songs lately that take me to that place of ‘knowing’. And I’m not necessarily a fan!
Maybe as empaths we have a greater ability to lose ourselves in these things.
Even if the narcs have garnered the corner on many of them, they seem to know the things that will reach us. And I think they reach us because that desire in us already exists. The narcissist didn’t create it, but they sure know how to make use of it x
Lickemtomorrow, “Maybe as empaths we have a greater ability to lose ourselves in these things.” I certainly believe so. I, like you, relied on reading as a way to escape. I favored stories that would catapult me to different spaces and dimensions but I read anything. I also was a huge fan of comic books. I didn’t particularly like super hero comics, but I was a huge fan of Conan the Barbarian. As a matter of fact, I recently purchased a collector’s copy of an episode I read when I was only 7 that I could never forget about: “Conan and the Curse of the Monolith.” It still creeps me out. There were a lot of alternative European comic companies that created wonderful stories, another one was a French series called Fantasia et Cie, published in the comic journal Antarès, that was ingrained in my memory. I relate the images to other sensorial experiences and therefore, anything I have read is part of me and stays with me. I understand your love for those books and how important they are in your life. In my case, I don’t know if my love for reading affected my life trajectory or if my life trajectory was a consequence of my love for reading.
K, you’re not no contact? How the heck do you maintain such low ET?
Wow, SP, the mention of “Conan” took me by surprise … the name is a more than significant one in my life x And I love that you shared about comic books as well. Our love for reading can take us many places and many a child began this way. Your memories are precious and thank you for sharing them. And you have such a fantastic memory. So much stored away … I’m not sure I could access details as easily or succinctly as you 🙂 And the comment about your life trajectory being a consequence of your reading makes so much sense to me. I can honestly say that it was stories, literally, that led me to every significant place in my life. They took me by the hand and led me to places I thought I would never go. It’s hard to explain, but the catalyst for my actions often began in a writer’s imagination <3 Stories are that powerful. As to comic books, I used to read the ghostly variety. Mystery again 😛
I'm so glad we've been able to share some of our precious memories here xox
Lickemtomorrow, I am happy to read you liked Conan too! I do have a very detailed memory but most synesthetes do. I’m sorry I didn’t comment until now, we were beach bound! We wanted to get to the beach before the evening so that we can wake up here already to cook for thanksgiving; though we don’t celebrate the colonialist massacre, we do have a very personal thing to celebrate on this date and we always travel near the ocean for that. I wanted to say I am really happy I have met so many fascinating people like you in this blog. Your experiences are precious to me too, and this is why I don’t stop interacting here. True that the blog is a space for learning and empowering against narcissism, but HG has managed to create something so much bigger than that by giving us a safe space to share our experiences, memories, and common tastes. This place is sacred to me. ❤️😘
Bubbles! I can’t believe the treasures that exist in your local Op Shop xox
One man’s trash is another man’s treasure, as they say <3
It's odd how I've never thought of completing the collection again. I don't know why that is except the shock to my psyche at the time has prevented me from doing so thus far! It's almost like they belonged to that moment in time and any replacement would just not be the same. But maybe that is me being sentimental which you guessed right x I wonder if HG has ever thought of replacing his items?
Thank you for your lovely thoughts again. We definitely do owe it to ourselves to make up for some of the losses we have suffered if that is at all possible. I'm going to ponder that notion and I hope you will do the same <3
My pleasure A Victor
Hahahahaha…doing time in the nick adds to your street cred.
I have been working at it for three years and nine months; it took me about a year to get my ET to a manageable level and allow the Logic in. The last phase is Zero Impact.
Leigh
I maintain low ET by reading the fine works of HG Tudor. We share a ten-year-old daughter so I have to focus on the logic or else I will be pitch forked.
K, I know hope is a 4 letter word but I have some hope now. Maybe I can get to a point where my ET isn’t high anymore either.
Leigh
You will get all your answers and hope right here on narcsite but it does takes time. Keep reading and commenting and you will get to a better place (Logic) before you know it.
SP
It’s one of the greatest scenes of all time and appeals to my Narc traits
https://youtu.be/HUJtn_Bwm-w
So true, haven’t you wished you were her at times? By the powers of three times three, narc you are gonna fall on your knees!
Dearest lickemtomorrow,
Thank you lovely
Btw I did purchase GWTW, my copy had turned yellow haha
It’s my no 1 all time favourite !
Give op shopping a try ….”After all, Tomorrow is another day”.
Luv Bubbles xx 😘
YT has a clip, ”Just William: William Meets Violet Elizabeth,” that is positively satanic. I know narciness is suppose coalesce at a later age, but I swear that girl is a full-fledged Mid-ranger. Either the actress is fantastically talented, or she’s a natural-born abomination into the Lord.
SP, you sound very excited about your finds and, tbh, I’ve never heard of “Flash Fiction”. I’ve googled it to get up to speed and sounds like it fits right into our fast paced world. I’ll have to check some out when I get the chance. Maybe you could make a recommendation, or maybe you already have 😉
I spent some time reading and writing Fan Fiction for my favourite franchise – you guessed it, “Hunger Games”. It’s been a while since I’ve added to it, and I left a storyline hanging. Not sure when I’ll get back to it, but I still get an occasional hit for it. At the time, I was amazed where people were reading around the world and how many people read it. Of course, the franchise was at it’s height at the time after the release of the final film. But it opened up a whole new world of writing to me.
I love the sound of the game book! Not just for kids and right up my alley.
So glad you are enjoying the break, SP <3
Lickemtomorrow, I just got your reply today, for some reason I’m not getting any notifications lately and I worry I’ve seemed rude within the past week without responding! Sorry about that. Flash fiction is a relatively new label to a genre that is incredibly old. It can include many subgenres, some more traditional and others more contemporary: micro-story, Twitterture, dribbles and drabbles, Zen koans… this type of story was very popular in the 1920’s, when they called it short-short story. What I like about them is not the speed, in fact, many remain in your mind for a long while after you read them; it’s their wittiness. They need to be clever and concise at the same time, and the more they mess up with your head, the better. I can recommend many different authors: Wumen Huikai and Zhuangzi have very nice Zen koans; Italo Calvino, Borges, Cortázar, Denevi, Sommerset Maugham, Kafka, Lydia Davis… I could send you some examples, but then I would be influencing your opinion. I’d rather have you discover your own and see if there are some you enjoy more than others.
Thanks for your response, SP.
Appreciate the further insight into Flash Fiction. You’ve given me plenty to go on and I’m not sure how short-short is, but it would interesting to see what kind of an impression different writers can make in that context.
And it’s frustrating when the notifications are bothersome. I would never take it the wrong way as I’m sure the same thing has inadvertently happened to me. The fact i don’t know if it has makes it even worse! Apologies all round if that’s the case.
Thanks again for the heads up, SP x
Witch, totally with you on Star Wars! I remember every year at school we had the choice of three films to watch, there was always one really good film choice, a Star Wars option or James Bond (sorry James Bond fans, I’ve never tried watching as an adult so it could be really good). The year group would always without fail select James Bond or bloody Star Wars. It was painful to sit through!
Reference James Bond is a narc and so were all actors who played him to ensure inclusion of comment.
The second ex narc made me watch a James Bond movie at the cinema … This must have been when devaluation started
You stick to the Princess Bride eh?
LOLOL
Never seen Princess bride
You big fib!
No way! Daniel Craig is a narc?
Actually that works for me as I had intended to picture him now as HG.
Haha, Witch to the Bond movie being the start of devaluation 😛
@HG
I used to watch neverending story, Labyrinth, watership down (and cry at the end)
Never heard of this prince bride malarkey
Limahl still relies on the royalties from Never-ending Story. Jennifer Connolley certainly blossomed post Labyrinth (well played Paul Bettany) and Watership Down isn’t really a children’s story at all, the anthropomorphized rabbits were named after WWII officers and one of my relatives used to live near Sandleford Warren.
Hey, the Princess Bride is also good! Not as important to me as Star Wars, but I still like that movie.
I see what you did there Fox, nicely done.
Violetta
“The original Star Wars trilogy rocked.
The prequels and sequels? Meh.”
I kind of agree except that scene where Yoga and Count Dooku (Christopher Lee) have their elegant fight.
Inconceivable!
The funniest is hearing Wallace Shawn mutter that in My Dinner With Andre.
Star Wars is like a narc.
Plenty of special effects, no real story.
The only decent Star Wars film was the one with Ewoks in it. That’s mostly because it has Ewoks in it.
Oh dear. The Empire Strikes Back is the best one, hands down. The ewoks were risible.
Risible?!
By the way there’s a Lego piece missing from your Boba Fett mask.
( no Asp, character, not fetish) 😜
Never bothered with Lego Star Wars.
Hey! TS – I saw that! Guess what? Google search revealed ‘Boba Fett – Wookieepedia (LOLOL). I don’t think I’d be the one wearing it 😉
I have to say, TS, I do like the way HG has used Star Wars in the past to help educate us … think the article to do with hoovering and the Death Star. That was awesome, and probably added some more substance to both Star Wars and narcissism for me 😉
I’m not sure about the Ewoks, but they sound like empaths to me <3
LET,
Agree, the Death Star imagery really does strike back. I’m very visual though, I remember things in pictures and convert text to pictures. Anything like that will work well with me.
I just remember the Ewoks more than anything else in those movies. I could describe the swamp in detail, where the spaceship sinks. I can remember Leia chained to Jabba the Hut as well. Come to think of it I’m a psychologists dream.
Did the Ewoks have little grabbies? Ha ha xx
Jennifer Connelly doesn’t really do it for me I’m afraid but then again most Hollywood women don’t because I prefer tomboys. Very rarely do I like princesses, I prefer women who look like they can kill me. Only Rihanna gets a pass.
Big fan of Rose West and Myra Hindley then?
I don’t understand how I can be a feminist and a fan of James Bond movies at the same time, but I guess we all have contradictions. HG, if you happened to be James Bond, what female partner would you choose among the different decades and movies? If you are gonna answer “the one who provides better fuel” we need to know who that will be in your opinion.
Do you mean which Bond girl would I choose?
Yes.
Octopussy? Honey Ryder? May Day? Jinx Johnson? ➡️Vesper Lynd ⬅️…???
All of the above and the rest too?
The Princess Bride is amazing.
LET, I also hope Daniel Craig is not a narc.
Only watched one James Bond film in my life as well! Should I hang my head in shame? 😂
Eerrr more like Michelle Rodriguez in movies not red carpet M.R
Asp,
Ha ha I know, saw that too. Boba Fett also had a starship called Slave 1.
Cool ship. Great for transporting those in carbonite.
I had forgotten about that in the film…. I think Google is getting psd of me for…..googling LOL
Oh, did he now? Boats of any type are usually named after – LOL. I think I get what you’re saying TS! (sniggering). Think we can guess HG’s boats names (sniggering),,,,
I can assure you they are not called “Snigger”.
LOL
Slave 1
Plenty of torque, a little unresponsive on the steering though.
Think I’d have the Interceptor. Light, Fast, fun to fly.
Witch, I read your “Only Rihanna gets a pass” comment and laughed, then realized you were the author! Hahaha, I am so thankful you’re here!!
Yes, TS, the Ewoks have little grabbies. So cute!
Labyrinth was a fave film for me as a kid. (David Bowie in those spandex.)
I like Jennifer. She is very smart and not a narcissist. Down to earth and not pretentious. She doesn’t suffer from Gwyneth Paltrowism.
Octopussy? Honey Ryder? May Day? Jinx Johnson? ➡️Vesper Lynd ⬅️…???
Alotta Fagina. Final answer.
Haha NA! Opportune parody name!
Xenia Onatopp
Final answer.
Until my last final answer.
@A Victor
Thank you! I’m glad you enjoy my immaturity. I feel appreciated 😊
‘no holds barred’ HG, oh god, that made me laugh. When I was younger I thought people were saying, “No holes barred” I was rather afraid!
Pervert.
TS: I hated the Ewoks. They looked like anthropomorphic shih-tzus to me. As a child I saw them as teddy bears with old faces.
Ha! The revenge of the Ewoks, they turned me into a weird monster.
SP, I can’t see the word shih-tzu without chuckling.
I was out with my dad one day and saw a shih-tzu. I said to my dad, “Those are the dogs I like dad. Do you know what breed it is.” My dad looked, lowered his voice to little more than a whisper and said, “Yeah it’s one of those Shitester things.”
Still makes me laugh now. Might just be me!
Hahhaah love it shitester dog
Shitester thing! Hahahahaha!
Dear alexissmith2016,
Cracking up here 🤣 No pun intended 🤣
Luv Bubbles xx 😘
Alexissmith2016, ha ha! What a thought! 😂
SP,
Omg – I like ewoks but that made me laugh:
“They looked like anthropomorphic shih-tzus to me.”
Alexis,
If I had to put money on who might find shitester funny, have to admit, you were on the list haha! Xx
K,
Hahaha, well, then I’ll await King Tudor’s decision. Or is it “God HG”s” decision?
I look forward to achieving your level of success. It is so helpful to know, at 2 months in, that people do make it and we need to just keep working toward that each day. Thank you again!
My pleasure A Victor!
Hahahahaha…either King or God is sufficient.
Read and read some more and you will be there before you know it.
HG is the ‘Holy Grail’ for empaths against narcissists….. HG is a man who is doing something unbelievable that cannot really be ‘measured’ in the sense of the word….. when you have learned and understood more, you will eventually look back on your life and think WTF was all that about…. AND at the same time, ask yourself, what the so-called-medical “professionals” doing / contributing to the “increasing mental health awareness” (note – when have you ever seen “emotional health awareness” ???) When have you ever seen “have you heard of narcissism” advertised in GP surgeries, Mental Health Units in hospitals etc?? I can go on…… but I won’t. It’s all “brush under the carpet” because narcissism is bigger than the rest of the world will ever admit…… think – the films – ‘The Purge’ series….. and who would be leading us?
Asp Emp, I agree about HG, so thankful for what he’s doing. I think there is an element of the medical community, especially when it comes to those in mental health, who are sorely lacking. I also see the need for narcissism and abuse to be taught/talked about in homes and schools. Honestly, I’ve been wondering WTF has been going on for a long time, now I have a name for it and know that it has a pattern and consistencies etc. That in itself is amazingly helpful. I look forward to discovering more and putting even more pieces together. Thank you for your comment, thought provoking certainly and encouraging.
Hey SP, thank you for your kind words and sharing again x
I did pick up on what you said about the sensory element to your nature and experiences. It must make them very intense at times and no wonder those memories are stored with such a level of recall. I’m sure it can be a blessing as well as a curse sometimes. It definitely must add an extra, or multiple extra, dimensions to your life <3
A trip to the beach sounds wonderful and I'm glad you took the time to enjoy the travel. I wish you a very blessed Thanksgiving and hope it's a wonderful, relaxing weekend for you 🙂
And this is a special place. I also sense a sacredness about it. Thank you, HG <3
Thank you, lickemtomorrow. Happy thanksgiving to you too. I have a ton of reading to do for work; however, Ready Player Two just came out. And an electronic copy surprisingly made it up to my iPad, uh-oh! Trouble! I’ll need to read it, then. I loved the first one, and the movie was good too.
I enjoyed the movie “Ready Player One”. I’ll have to keep an eye out for any subsequent film. Strange how a version made it’s way to your Ipad, but enjoy 🙂
Right, lickemtomorrow? It’s black magic trying to lure me into staying away from work haha.
SP:
I looked up that book you mentioned and skimmed some passages and it looks like absolute shit.
If spread sheets could be be made into a novel, then that would be it. Yet, that found a literary agent. That found a publisher who ‘loved’ it. Show me one poetic phrase, much less passage.
And people wonder why the book industry is dying. I’ll stick to Tanizaki.
Bibi, I have a motto for reading: if you don’t like it, just don’t read it. Ready Play One is a fun exercise of intertextuality and pop culture references for Gen X people. It’s adventure sci-fi, not poetry, and definitely not a piece of art but super fun to read. Tenured professors of literature and linguistics also have a right to enjoy reading “shit.” However, because I don’t distinguish between high or low culture, I have a very versatile and eclectic taste. The book industry is not dead, I discover new authors every year that I fall in love with in different genres. Maybe whoever says that needs to open their reading scope wider.
The title is Ready Player, not play. Phone autocorrect, sorry.
Whatever it takes, SP x