The Carrier Empath
The Carrier Empath. A particular type of empathetic individual who naturally gains the attention of our kind. As I have explained before, our kind are drawn to empathetic individuals who fall within one of the classes of empath. Those classes consist of The Empath, The Super Empath and The Co-Dependent.
The Carrier Empath is a particular division of those classes and therefore can be found amidst any of those classes. The Carrier Empath is not a stand-alone form of empath but rather is embodied by exhibiting Carrier tendencies which “bolt on” to the relevant class of empathic individual.
The Carrier Empath shoulders, more than others, the emotional burden. This person rarely talks about themselves, although they have much they could talk about, either as a consequence of their natural intelligence which lends itself to considerable discourse, their ability to connect with people and engage in what could be termed as small talk so people are put at ease or because of their extensive experiences they have much they could share with other people.
The Carrier Empath does not see it as necessary to talk about themselves. All empaths are good listeners, it is one of the empathic traits which our kind look for, but the Carrier Empath is a superlative listener. Exhibiting considerable patience, he or she will sit and listen to the woes and problems of others. They do not jump to conclusions, as many people would, instinctively forming a view of the person they are engaging with, within moments of meeting. Instead, the Carrier Empath is able to resist making an early judgement about this person and will listen to what they have to say, so they can best work out how to assist. The Carrier Empath knows full well that sometimes just being listened to is the best thing for another person.
Those with Carrier tendencies are work-like in their approach, reliable, organised and effective when facing pressure. They regard it as their role to take on responsibility for others and struggle to determine the boundary of when they should not do so. They are unable to avoid taking on other people’s issues and problems and feel a need to assist but to do so through actions and a practical application of their compassion, honesty, decency and understanding.
The Carrier Empath is not a person who overflows with emotion but is certainly not devoid of it. Their emotion does not appear in surges and spikes, histrionic reactions as a consequence of the situation which they find themselves in but rather as a steady and reliable provider of fuel through their evident compassion and supportive nature. Whilst caught in the dizzying devaluation, some empaths will find themselves despairing and having up days and down days whilst they experience the push and pull behaviours, the Carrier Empath adopts a stoic approach.
Inside he or she may be churning but they do their best to maintain a brave face as they seek to remain dependable and forging forward. This person is solid and dependable. They are not a dullard, but they do not shine and glow like other empathic individuals. They are grounded, practical, pragmatic and excellent problem solvers.
The Carrier Empath is unable to leave responsibility with others. They regard it as their task to be responsible for other people and they rarely judge the flaws of others, but rather see it as an opportunity for them to shoulder the burden. They will remain with those who suffer from addictions, seeing it as part of their obligation to remain and fight the fight on behalf of the afflicted.
The Carrier Empath readily takes on the problems of others and will do so even when this becomes a drain on his or her resources, such as time and money. They may have somewhere they need to be but if the telephone call is continuing because the caller needs help and assistance, the Carrier Empath will continue to listen.
There is a strong sense of obligation on the part of the Carrier Empath. Whilst empaths as whole feel obligation, the empath will assist because they feel good about doing so, in a way, they gain a form of their own fuel from helping others. The Co-Dependent will usually help because he or she has to do so, being of a giving nature in order to find validation for themselves in terms of their place in the order of things. The Super Empath relished the challenge that is presented and regards it as an opportunity to exhibit their powers.
Layer the Carrier Empath onto any of those classes and you add a complexion of obligation – the relevant class of empath does it because that is what should be done, that is the right thing to do and they have an obligation to care. They will recognise that the task in hand may be difficult, they will note that it will drain them but their fearsome sense of duty causes them to be the first to volunteer and the last to give up.
This division of empathic individual is certainly compassionate but approaches matters in a practical manner rather than “hearts and flowers” and whilst they will certainly use words to comfort, to support and to show empathy they prefer to rely on actions. If someone is suffering, rather than hand out tea and sympathy, the Carrier Empath will assume the mantle of the problem themselves and tackle it head on. They are especially apt at standing in the shoes of somebody in order to absorb the blast on behalf of someone who is struggling or wants their help. They are the proverbial person who would take a bullet.
Such individuals are prized by our kind, but by certain narcissists in particular. There is the provision of fuel, that has to always be there, but it does not always fountain from the Carrier Empath. Greaters tend not to choose those with Carrier Empath tendencies as a primary source because the gushing appreciation is not the style of the Carrier Empath, furthermore, the Greater tends to be more resourceful and therefore has less need of this element of the Carrier Empath. Instead, the Carrier Empath is desired by the Lesser and Mid-Range schools and especially so by the Victim Narcissist.
The Victim Narcissist derives fuel from the provision of care and compassion. His less impressive countenance is not one which results in gushing praise and over-the-top appreciation. Accordingly, the exhibition of care and compassion gives him the fuel he wants plus the residual benefits he requires and this is always preferable to the empath who gushes with praise but does little in the way of practical care. Thus those with Carrier tendencies are more suited to the Victim Narcissist.
Furthermore, the Carrier Empath comes with considerable residual benefits in terms of the provision of caring for someone with poor health, dealing with chores and problems on that person’s behalf, providing food, shelter, money and such like and therefore this raft of residual benefits appeals to Lesser Narcissists in particular and naturally the Victim Narcissist from the Lesser School.
The Carrier’s capacity for “taking the bullet” results in them also having appeal to the Mid-Range Narcissist. The passive aggressive Mid-Range Narcissist who finds that he is not able to get his way with a third party will invariably turn to the Carrier Empath to step up on his or her behalf and get the problem sorted. If weakened from a lack of fuel and potential criticism from this third party, the Mid-Range will turn to the Carrier Empath to make everything alright again and the Carrier Empath will dutifully attend to his.
During devaluation the Carrier Empath is wounded and confused by the manipulations used against him or her, but their sense of duty carries them forward and they will often fall victim to the narcissist’s capacity to blame others. Accordingly, if the narcissist blames his outburst on being overworked, the Carrier Empath will accept this explanation and will look at ways of alleviating the load on the narcissist, by taking more on him or herself or even going so far as to challenge the boss of the narcissist to secure a reduction in workload. The narcissist knows that with a Carrier Empath he can in effect point that person in the direction of a problem and the Carrier Empath will march into battle on his behalf. Again, this is why the Greater has less of a need for those with Carrier tendencies and why those of a Lesser or Mid-Range school have more reliance on the Carrier.
Devaluation causes those with Carrier tendencies to battle on in the hope of resolving the narcissist’s problems. The Carrier is less inclined to blame themselves. They do not see themselves as the cause of the problems which the narcissist alludes to during devaluation, but rather only blame themselves for not resolving those problems. The Carrier is blinded to understanding that there is no fix, but regards every problem as having a solution which will, with the right application of energy and resource, eventually present itself. The worse the narcissist becomes during devaluation, the more those with the Carrier tendency will apply themselves to trying to sort the problem out and usually identifies an external source (wrongly) as the source of the problem and is ultimately sent on a wild goose chase trying to tackle this external source whilst the problems continue unabated.
If the relevant narcissist does not have a primary source with Carrier tendencies it is likely that one will be recruited as a secondary source. This is more likely with the Greater who will prefer the primary source to be fountaining with fuel (rather than providing a host of residual benefits) and to have a secondary source who can be turned to as and when required, perhaps at moments of crisis, to be utilised for their Carrier traits. Whilst the Lesser and Mid-Range narcissist and especially the Victim Narcissist cadre of those two schools will want a Carrier Empath as a primary source, the Greater will position one as a secondary source since they make excellent Lieutenants.
It is common to find that the scape-goated child of a narcissist, if they avoid becoming a narcissist themselves, tends to exhibit strong Carrier tendencies because they realise that by getting things done, having to attend to their own needs because the narcissistic parent has abandoned their duties at an early stage and also having to parent the narcissistic parent, is the most effective method of surviving. They care but do so without “showiness” and deliver in a practical and dependable manner.
It is also worth noting that as some narcissists age they will gravitate more to securing a primary source who is a Carrier Empath. Though fuel remains important, the need for the residual benefits becomes increasingly important for those narcissists who see their looks fading, their mobility decreasing and therefore suffer a reduction in their ability to charm and attract. Of course, this is not applicable to all of our kind, since many become distinguished with age, have the magnetism that comes from financial power and their innate charisma and sharp mind remain undulled. However, for those that see the waning of their powers, the Carrier Empath becomes more attractive to them.
54 thoughts on “The Carrier Empath”
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Hi! I feel like I’m being annoying, with all of the various comments I’ve made throughout your material. I’m sorry; I don’t mean to be.
I have recently received the results to the Empath Detector, and was hoping to find more information about the various components.
I’ve been able to find articles / videos on the Carrier (obviously) and the Geyser cadres, as well as the Super Empath, but haven’t yet found further details on the Martyr cadre, nor the schools of Standard, Co-Dependent and Contagion. If such information exists, would you mind pointing me in their direction when you have time?
I would like to be able to learn more about each of these more thoroughly so that I can decipher which comes to the fore in various scenarios in my life, if possible.
I was also wondering, is it possible for us to shift schools/cadres, or change in their ratio, as we experience life? My behaviors and mentality in this regard have drastically shifted from when I was an adolescent, a young adult, and even from merely 5 years ago. I’m curious to know if this is just a different expression of the same composition, or if it shifts as I grow psychologically.
As always, thank you so much!
Information pertinent to the schools and cadres is given in the response to the EDC. Expanded information has not yet been published with regard to the martyr cadre. Co-Dependency can be read about extensively in my book “Chained”. Material concerning standard and contagion has not yet been published.
The cadres and schools can shift slightly around the edges but there is no wholesale change.
Your response to the EDC was definitely both enlightening and thought-provoking, and made me crave a deeper understanding – particularly in how you explained that certain aspects would only come to the fore in a small number of areas within the narcissistic dynamic. Obviously, you would be unable to tell me which handful of emotions my Geyser cadre would impact, or which few situations would trigger my Co-Dependency, or how my triple-hybrid cadre composition would otherwise play out in my everyday life (of course, I wouldn’t have a straightforward composition!); I recognize that those would have to be figured out by my own introspection and reflection on my past and present circumstances.
That said, reading through this article on the Carrier Empath helped me immensely in deciphering how this plays out in my relationships, and it was mind-blowing! I intend to revisit these resources frequently throughout the process of better understanding who I am, how I contribute to this dynamic, and what I’m doing to both attract – and get drawn in by – narcissists. “Chained” is on my list of material to be obtained, and will be referred to often as well, I’m sure; I look forward to reading it!
If you are on the fence about publishing material on the others, if it helps to know, it will be well-received and just as impactful as all of your other material. I’m guessing this isn’t the reason why it hasn’t yet been published, but I felt compelled to say this nonetheless.
Your last paragraph took me for surprise. It’s incredible to see how much I’ve changed – to know that, essentially, I’m still roughly the same. Psychology… it’s a fascinating field.
As always, thank you for providing your insight; it is – you are – very much appreciated!
I am very interested in contagion which I was classified. I am interested too in dreams. I had two dreams over the last 6 months where I was “ called” by a friend one alive and one dead about something upsetting and learned in both instances a loved one of theirs died. My dreams are like no one I have known. I don’t believe in psychics as I have never experienced anything legit to convince me. My dreams I have had since childhood. As I told you before I even had a dream about my best friend who was murdered which I wrote down and a clock and watch were in it with 2:17 am … at trial I learned from the LA coroner she died between 2::25 and 2:30 am. I can’t ignore. I think we are extremely perceptive at the smallest of details or changes or “ energies.” ? I can’t wait to learn your thoughts and I hope it involves the subconscious. I also think we “ know” when meeting a narc. We know what people are feeling. But we push it away due to wanting the love bomb.
2:15 and 2:30 am* not 2::25
Empaths are usually quite psychic. I have pre-cognition. I have visions while awake that come to pass. The one that scared me the most was when shortly after meeting a friend of my husband, after knowing him a few weeks I had a vision that he died in his bed. The room was all white and his wife found him. I told my husband what I had seen. A week later the EXACT vision came to pass. I was later taken to his home where his wife showed me the room he died in. Everything was WHITE. The walls, furniture and bed clothing. That was super scary to me but allowed me to accept what a psychic told me a few years before. That I was strongly psychic and needed to “hone” my abilities. I’ve also experienced other psychic abilities as well.
I am a hybrid of carrier, geyser, magnet & savior cadre.
Trust your gifts. 💜🌻
Does the school or cadre play into aesthetic beauty? Are Magnets typically very beautiful, for example? I have struggled with the name Carrier as it sounds like a person who would not take care of themselves properly thus becoming rather frumpy and disheveled. I have a strong minority Carrier, and I like this description, it fits, as a minority. I do have lines that I won’t cross and I’m terrible at small talk. But this question of beauty/upkeeping oneself has been in the back of my mind.
And, how does one know that certain schools of narcissists don’t like them? I have no clue which ones would like me, soon to get a clue perhaps, with the incoming NDC’s.
The description from the article is the one I like, not frumpy and disheveled. Geez, need to proofread better…
I don’t believe magnets are always beautiful AV, but if their not, there smile makes them so.
I also don’t perceive carriers as frumpy. Keanu is carrier and he is definitely not frumpy.
Excited to read about your ND AV xx
Hi Alexissmith! Hope you’re well! I just saw your reply and I thank you. Now, having been a while since I wrote my initial comment, I agree with what you said. I have come to see Empaths as so varied it is impossible to know unless we know them.
Dear HG the God,
Does the Carrier have the highest energy level of the Empaths?
I can understand why they are the preferred primary source of most Narcs. They are fantastic people.
I would not describe it as energy Whitney, although I understand why you refer to it in that way. They have a certain near indefatigable spirit to soldier on.
Thank you so much HG. Your mind is the greatest treasure on this earth. I want to learn everything about myself and other people. Not for practical reasons, only for interest!
The carrier empaths I know will do things like clean another person’s house. How is that possible. They have a lot of physical energy.
I was thinking about empath cadres
Geyser- love
Carrier- help
Magnet- hope
Saviour-?
Witney,
You wrote.
“Geyser – love
Carrier – help
Magnet – hope
Saviour -? “
– knackered
Faith
“The passive aggressive Mid-Range Narcissist who finds that he is not able to get his way with a third party will invariably turn to the Carrier Empath to step up on his or her behalf and get the problem sorted.”
YES! THERE we have it! This is me!
“It is common to find that the scape-goated child of a narcissist, if they avoid becoming a narcissist themselves, tends to exhibit strong Carrier tendencies..”
YES! THERE we are!
Wow, H.G. you can read minds, or what? 😉
So, now: I´m a Carrier Super-Empath (took the ED).
Strikes me that several men seem to be carrier empaths. My dad was one. Fits the description to a t of trying to make her employer cut down on workload.
HG, is this possibly also the main cadre for the Stepford wife?
Carrier would be a majority or strong minority cadre element, yes. Magnet would also be present either as majority or strong minority.
HG could I be a Stepford wife? Majority Geyser and minority Carier, Magnet, and Saviour.
Codependent/Contagion.
You could, although you would not be the prime choice for that particular type of devaluation.
Thank you HG. The Midrangers don’t really like me 😩
Balls to what they think. They do not matter.
Whitney:
Mid-rangers are the worst. Be glad if they don’t like you.
I realise now, I was his primary source in devaluation and he was a greater not a midranger.
Awww you are the best! Thank you HG.
Whitney
No one isolates you like a Midranger. They are frenetically holding on to their good person humanitarian philantropist yada yada façade so it’s very very important for them to smear and excluded someone.
Thank you so much for clarifying.
These longterm marriages between narc and beautiful shy smiling empath have been playing on my truthseeker mind for long.
Finally found part of the answer, yay! Pretty sure this devaluation was used by my MMRA ex but I have no Magnet, so is it possible?
HG the God. I’m fascinated by empaths as well as narcs.
If a friend tries to pay for both our meals, is that a sign she’s a Carrier Empath? This has happened with a few friends. I think Carrier must be a common type. I would like to know each of my friends’ types.
Not necessarily, that act must be seen against a backdrop of other behaviours to make an appropriate assessment.
Could also be a narc. I have a female friend who is mid range and quite shy for a narc but definitely a narc. She always pays for my meals and hmmm I allow it.
The females that I have come across in my life, that I would consider narcs, have all been people that I strongly disliked and would take steps to avoid. I wish it were that way with the male ones.
Yes, I find the gals easier to spot as well for the most part.
I’m good and bad at both, I think.
When I’m in a period of being around a lot of women, I get very quick at spotting narc lasses. Same goes for being in a male dominated environment. Then I learn to see narc dudes in general.
(This is all since encountering you know who’s world)
I used to think it was easier to spot women. Now I’ve had the experience of a close friend that I didn’t pick it up in for 2 years, I haven’t done a detector on her but life is better with her not in it. And I learned a little what it can look like, very subtle but very powerful if I’m not aware. Hopefully going forward it will be easier to spot. I literally could not believe that some of the things happening were happening, just like with the rest of the narcs I’ve known. She has a good heart, why did she do this then? Why isn’t she doing this? But she’s a good person .. right. Wrong. My cognitive dissonance is very strong. As is my addiction to them.
Another Cat, “you know who’s world”. Haha, love it!
Hi Whitney,
I am a geyser and one of my favorite things to do is pay for the person behind me at Starbucks!! makes me smile……………
Thank you HG, the God!
Alexis I’m not keen on female Narcs, only Narc men. Someone said I need to get exorcised from the waist down, haha.
I wouldn’t allow a friend to pay for a meal without reciprocating later.
Kim e that’s nice 😀 Did you get the Empath Detector? What Empath school are you (Super Empath, Empath, Codependent, Contagion)?
Hahaha yes I know what you mean re female Ns compared to males
Pre knowledge I would never have allowed a friend to pay for meals without reciprocating, not ever. Even if I wasn’t so keen on them. Post knowledge, if a narc wants to buy me tbings/ pay for tbings they can go ahead and I don’t feel dented at all.
Alexis I know what you mean, and post knowledge I used an UMR Elite man like an ATM machine.
But I feel so sensitive towards women 😢 I wouldn’t do that. I wouldn’t hang around a friend unless I truly liked them. Maybe because my mum is a bit Narcy and I just imagine how hurt she’d be 😭 she’s not a Narc though, she loves deeply. She’s a super empath.
We are using this Narc label for such a huge percentage of the population. They are human beings.
You’re right Whitney, they are human beings. My thinking is very black and white though and so I separate people into narc/ non narc absolutely. My brain simply won’t allow any grey. They are either narcs or they are not.
I love thinking in black and white about the Abusers. It feels so good to label each as a Narcissist. The ones who devalued me and made me feel worthless. It is not me, it is them. They are Narcissists. I am a superior and great person, an Empath! This is why I love HG’s work.
My thinking flickers back and forth though. I think of them as humans. I think that’s the Saviour Empath, one of my minority cadres.
Whitney, I am Savior majority, it does cause me to flicker, they are human, but I have to remind myself they can’t change. It feels so hopeless.
A Victor, I feel that way about my abusers who I love. But I don’t see your abusers as human. I would love to destroy them.
Whitney, I just saw this comment! How brilliant this is! I feel exactly the same way, though I would NC my abusers gladly. But I would destroy those who abuse you or others! Thank you, very perceptive comment.
AV, Withney, it’s the same for me! I think I can take almost anything (except for one thing that would knock me to my knees, so I’ll never say it). I allow a lot of abuse to me. But I immediately stand up for others. If they are close to me, sometimes my defense or attack outweighs how they actually feel.
The Narcissists made great use of this feature at work. I was like a dog on a chain (obviously maintaining culture and high standards). They’re still trying to play that note and get me into defense. Defending shit and their interests.
Whitney
Yes I got the ED. I am standard/contagion/super/co-dependent in order of percentage
Cadres are geyser/martyr/magnet.
Like my pedigree I am a mush mash empath😀😀
Thank you for sharing Kim that’s very interesting!!
I’m Codependent/Contagion/Super Empath/Empath
And Geyser/Carrier/Magnet/Saviour
BC30 was looking for some “mish mash” empaths recently. Hope she sees this.
Thanks AV! I now refer to myself a Tutti-Frutti Confetti empath because I have everything except Co-D. I’m hoping HG writes more about us.
I’d like to know, for example, how the Geyser cadre manifest differently (if at all) for me and Whitney since our majority schools differ
Oh, AV, you do make me laugh.
BC30, I am so curious about that too, how the different schools are look with the different cadres layered on! Glad you saw this!
AE, why? 😂😂🤣
BC30 can you please tell me your empath cadres and schools?
Oh yes I’m fascinated to know how Geyser manifests for the different schools. I think being Codependent (apparently) I get engrossed in the Narcs construct and embellish it. I give more fuel than… Anyone.
Never in a million years would I think of myself as an Empath, but there there it is. Huh. Insightful. Thank you.