Amber Heard – A Very Performing Narcissist

 

A VERY PERFORMING NARCISSIST

Amber Heard is famous in her own right, although many will know of her through her marriage to world famous actor Johnny Depp. Both have come to additional prominence as a consequence of subsequent divorce and allegation and counter allegation of abusive behaviour towards the other.

Accordingly, Ms Heard first goes under the Tudorscope. For the hard of understanding, this is not an article espousing the merits of Ms Heard or otherwise, this is a blog about narcissism and the behaviour of Ms Heard and Mr Depp is analysed in that context. It is therefore for the purposes of wider understanding and education and explaining what is happening. Don’t make the error of bandying around allegations of sexism, racism or any other -ism apart from narcissism. 

(Observations are contained in bold and italic)

Amber Laura Heardis an American actress and model. Born and raised in Texas, she made her film debut in a minor supporting role in the sports drama Friday Night Lights , followed by a series of other small roles in television and film. Her first leading role was in the horror film All the Boys Love Mandy Lane(2006).

Heard’s breakthrough came in 2008 with roles in the action film Never Back Downand in thePineapple Express, which were both box office successes. The same year, she received the Breakthrough Award at Young Hollywood Awards. Heard continued her career with roles in films such as The Informers , The Stepfather , Zombieland , and The Joneses.

In 2011, she played the female lead opposite opposite Johnny Depp in The Rum Diary; neither were critically nor commercially successful.

In 2017, Heard was also named a global spokesperson for the cosmetics giant L’Oréal Paris. I

In addition to her acting career, Heard engages in activism for causes such as LGBTQ rights and domestic and sexual violence awareness. She is an American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) ambassador and has been named a Human Rights Champion for the Stand Up for Human Rights campaign by the Office of the United Nations High Commissioner for Human Rights.

So far, a successful actress and model who also engages in activism.

Amber Heard met her future Husband Johnny Depp on the set of the 2011 movie The Rum Diary. Johnny Depp was said to be enamoured with his on-screen love interest and courted her. He showered her with gifts and went so far as to buy her a horse and name a beach on his private isle “Amber’s cove” because he had noticed that it looked like the curvature of her hip when viewed on a map.

Despite his infatuation with his new girlfriend, Johnny’s inner circle of friends was less than impressed and warned him against marrying Amber. (Potential objectivity and ability to see red flags of problematic behaviour or over-protective of a friend who is focussed on his new romantic relationship rather than his friends.)

It was reported that Johnny fell out with his sister Christi, who had been a long-standing manager of his day-to-day affairs, over his relationship with Amber. (Potential objectivity and ability to see red flags of problematic behaviour or over-protective of a relative who is focussed on his new romantic relationship rather than his relative and business advisor.)

Several associates advised him not to get married to his girlfriend. (Potential objectivity and ability to see red flags of problematic behaviour or over-protective behaviour in respect of an associate who is focussed on his new romantic relationship rather than them.)

(One friend advising against the continuance of a relationship could be the result of jealousy towards the new arrival. More friends forming a similar view starts to create a pattern, but one must be mindful of cross-pollution as the ´threatened´friends bond together towards a “common enemy”. However, the reports of such early warning from numerous people in three distinct groups suggests that there were a number of prominent red flags at an early juncture, which were seen by people not entirely objective and removed, but certainly more removed than Depp from the relationship. It is common in narcissistic ensnarements for the primary victim not to notice certain behaviours or dismiss them/attribute them to something else (the effect of obscuring Emotional Thinking) whereas less involved individuals notice and pay heed to the warnings. The number of individuals and groups here supports the proposition that early problems were apparent.

Some of Depp´s friends later claimed that he had cut himself off from those looking out for him. (This may be the response of jealous friends, but again isolation caused by the narcissist (either directly or indirectly)  to ensure that third party influences do not threaten the control sought over the primary target is a common manipulation in the narcissistic dynamic, especially a romantic one).

Amber Heard and Johnny Depp got married on February 3rd, 2015 in a private civil ceremony without a prenuptial agreement.

A month later, Johnny was in Australia to shoot a movie and spoke with Amber about his intention to enter into a post-nuptial agreement, which caused her to fly into a rage.

(Action offends sense of entitlement, seeks to pin accountability, threatens control resulting in the ignition of fury hence the response of rage.)

In his latest declaration, Johnny described the incident as follows:

“While I was in Australia filming a movie approximately one month after I married Ms. Heard, on a day where my then-lawyer tried to discuss with Ms. Heard the need that she sign a post-nuptial agreement with me, she went berserk and began throwing bottles at me. The first bottle sailed past my head and missed, but then she threw a large glass vodka bottle. The bottle struck the marble countertop where my hand was resting and exploded. The projectile’s impact shattered the bone in my finger and entirely severed the tip of my finger … I had to have 3 surgeries to reconstruct my finger and contracted MRSA three times. I feared that I would lose my finger, my arm, and my life.” (Destruction of property and physical injury – rudimentary manipulations following the ignition of fury.)

He further mentioned that Amber put out a cigarette on his right cheek after having injured his finger with the second bottle before he was taken to the hospital. (Physical violence)

Depp returned to Australia a month later, on April 21st2015 to finish shooting his movie.

In April 2015, Heard and Depp breached Australia’s biosecurity laws when they failed to declare their two Yorkshire terriers to the Australian Customs Service when they flew by private jet into Queensland, where he was working on Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales(Sense of entitlement, rejection of accountability.)

Heard pleaded guilty to falsifying quarantine documents, stating that she had made a mistake due to sleep deprivation. (Blameshifting)

She was placed on a $1,000 one-month good behaviour bond for producing a false document; Heard and Depp also released a video in which they apologised for their behaviour and urged people to adhere to the biosecurity laws.

Depp later revealed that the bungle around the customs paperwork was due to her having had a bitter falling out with a staffer she sacked just before the trip to Australia. (Revision of History, Contentious Relationship With Others) The criminal charges of illegally importing animals were dismissed and Heard avoided possible jail-time of up to ten years. She was instead placed on a one-month good behaviour bond.

In May 2016, Amber filed for divorce, stating “irreconcilable differences”, only 15 months after they got married. Less than a week later, she filed a domestic violence restraining order against Johnny, which was denied and only a temporary restraining order was granted. (The relationship between the two had ended and the commencement of divorce proceedings by Heard is a further act of manipulation designed to control Depp. Most divorces occur (not all) because a narcissist is involved, that is why the relationship ends and also is why most divorces are contentious and problematic. (see Why Is Divorce So Hard?) Seeking a restraining order is also an act of manipulation by seeking to assert control

Allegations of Domestic Violence

In the court documents filed as part of the divorce, Amber stated the following:

“During the entirety of our relationship, Johnny has been verbally and physically abusive to me” (Such an allegation may indeed be founded on evidence, however, where a narcissist is involved, such an allegation is either (1) A fallacy and projection where the narcissist uses the believed violence to assert control over the alleged (incorrect) perpetrator and garner control over third parties through seeking support and sympathy , or (2) founded on being the recipient of verbal and/or physical abuse when the victim has fought back because of the narcissists abuse of them. The narcissist then uses the “fightback” as a basis for Deflection from their own behaviour, to Blame Shift to the victim and Pity Play to others with regard to the apparent unprovoked verbal and/or physical violence that has been suffered. Whether Heard is the True Victim or is Playing the Victim stands to be assessed further.)

And further:

“I endured excessive emotional, verbal and physical abuse from Johnny, which has included angry, hostile, humiliating and threatening assaults to me whenever I questioned his authority or disagreed with him.”  (See points raised above.)

These statements soon spread around the world, accompanied with an image of Amber´s bruised face that was published as evidence of the physical abuse she endured.

Depp denied the allegations, stating that his ex-wife was attempting to secure a premature financial resolution by way of her abuse allegations.  (If this is correct, it is a common manipulation by a narcissist to make such allegations in order to assert control (1) over the True Victim (2) Deflect accountability (3) Garner support and sympathy from third parties (4) Preserve the Facade , and (5) Maximise the financial aspect. It is also worth pointing out that asserting an individual is doing this to secure a premature financial resolution may be the attempt to assert control (1) over a victim (2) deflect from accountability (3) preserve the facade (4) garner support and sympathy from third parties , and (5) preserve the threatened financial position as best as possible. Which way is it to be interpreted, against her, against him, against both? More evidence must be considered.)

He also said that when Amber showed herself to the world on the 24thof May 2016 with what looked to be a bruised face, she merely had it painted on. As proof, he submitted elevator footage from their home on that same day, showing Ambers injury free face. She was chatting with friends in the elevator of the Eastern Columbia Building in Downtown Los Angeles where Johnny formerly owned a floor with five penthouses that was his and Ambers home, seemingly in a carefree and cheerful mood. (Such evidence tends to suggest that the allegations of abuse were at best mistaken and at worst manufactured. The manufacturing of such an allegation with accompanying manufactured behaviour, painting on the supposed injury, demonstrates an act of manipulation designed to assert control over the victim.

Late in August 2016, Amber and Johnny reached a 7 million divorce settlement and five months later, on January 13thin 2017, their divorce was finalized.

Abused? Me too!

In the wake of the allegations made against Harvey Weinstein and the subsequent rise of the #MeToo movement, Amber made several public appearances and held passionate speeches about “speaking out” and how “she will not be silenced” about the abuse she had to suffer at the hands of Johnny. She also wrote an article in the Washington Post, referring to herself as “a public figure representing domestic abuse” and complained about the backlash she received for speaking out:

“For months, I rarely left my apartment, and when I did, I was pursued by camera drones and photographers on foot, on motorcycles and in cars. […] Tabloid outlets had posted pictures of me (and) spun them in a negative light. I felt as though I was on trial in the court of public opinion.” (The “backlash” is perceived as a Threat To Control and therefore the narcissist must assert control over a variety of Tertiary Sources (strangers and acquaintances in the fuel matrix) with such a comment which is a Pity Play and Facade Management.)

She further desired to rally fellow females behind her, stating:

“I want to ensure that women who come forward to talk about violence receive more support […] We can work together to demand changes to laws and rules and social norms – to right the imbalances that have shaped our lives.” (Facade Management)

These lines, along with the statement that she considers herself a public figure representing domestic abuse, could be interpreted as the passionate rallying cries of a woman who stands up for what’s right at the cost of her own privacy,  her selfless sacrifice making her the Joan of Arc of the “MeToo”-Movement. (Facade Management /Pity Play or Sympathy Symphony given the scale of the address)

It is therefore worth noting that in August 2016, she retracted her request for a restraining order and dismissed the domestic violence case against Johnny with prejudice, meaning she cannot re-file it. This happened only shortly before Johnny agreed to the previously mentioned 7 million settlement later that same month.

(Why would she speak so passionately about her horrible experiences with domestic violence to the Media but not follow through with her own case against Depp. The reason being that having secured control (from her perspective) through such a significant financial settlement over Depp, she then had no further need to assert that control further and thus retracts the domestic violence case. That in itself does not mean that the withdrawal does not mean the domestic violence did not happen, it demonstrates the hypocrisy of the narcissist by issuing a rallying cry (the Me Too activity which bolsters the Facade and asserts control over Secondary and Tertiary Sources in the Fuel Matrix) but not matching that with personal actions (because the need no longer exists). This evidences Hypocrisy and Compartmentalisation. The narcissist will say one thing and do the other so long as this maintains control and the narcissism prevents the narcissist from “seeing” this hypocrisy. Furthermore, given the evidence presented above it is highly likely that the allegations of domestic violence may have been fabricated or (most likely of all) arose from incidences of “fighting back” and were seized on to Deflect and Blameshift and were also Exaggerated upon.

Temper Tantrums 

Heard had spoken in detail about the abuse she had suffered and cried many tears during her interviews regarding this topic. She received considerable media support which would amount to the provision of fuel and Facade Maintenance.

When one takes a closer look into the court documents regarding this case, a situation presents itself that – based on the evidence provided within them – is quite different from how Heard chose to portray the situation to the media.

Depphas since filed a 50 Million. USD defamation lawsuit because Amber Heard referred to herself as a “public figure representing domestic violence” in an article she wrote for the Washington Post in December 2018. He presented further evidence and new witnesses to support his case.

Heard claimed that Depp showed up late to her birthday party on the 21stof April 2016 and that he was inebriated and high. After the other guests had left the party, Amber claimed the following:

“Johnny and I had a discussion about his absence from my birthday celebration which deteriorated into a bad argument that started with Johnny throwing a magnum size bottle of champagne at the wall and a wine glass on me and the floor – both which shattered.”

Amber went on to explain Johnny grabbed her by the shoulders and pushed her onto the bed, blocking the bedroom door, then grabbing her by the hair and pushing her violently on the floor. After yelling at her for several minutes, he “stormed out of the condominium (…) tossing aside and breaking nearly everything in his path”. (Such behaviour again paints Depp as an abusive individual. However, in light of the points made above with regard to a pattern of behaviour, evidence which contradicts Heard and further evidence below which contradicts her, her behaviour is viewed through the prism of not victim, but abuser and that of the narcissist. Thus her allegations amount to manipulations as either Lies, Twisting of the Truth, Blame Shifting and Deflection.)

Johnny stated in his testimony that Amber was the one to erupt because he had shown up late to her birthday party and that she punched him in the face two times whilst screaming insults at him. (The late arrival wounds the narcissist resulting in a Threat to Control. This causes an Ignition of Fury resulting in Heated Fury through Verbal Violence and Physical Violence.)

Amber was the one who had been drinking and when she became aggressive Johnny defended himself by grabbing Amber’s arms to prevent her from punching him again, telling her to stop. He then pushed her away from him onto the bed and told her he was leaving and that she should not follow him. He left the apartment building and returned the next day to find that Amber had defecated in their bed as a “prank” and then gone off to Coachella with her friends. Johnny provided the court with photographical evidence and Amber did not deny that there had been faeces in the bed but claimed that it was from her Yorkshire Terrier. The housekeeper that had to clean up the poop that morning later stated in her testimony that the poop was “too big to be from their dog”.  (This photographic evidence is independent evidence and supported by witness testimony which contradicts Heard´s version of events (once again). Depp´s retreat from the scene amounts to wounding and therefore Heard must assert control over him. She cannot do so directly as he has absented her presence. She does so by defecating in the bed and gains Thought Fuel from imagining his response to this act and therefore feels she has control once again. Some narcissists would pursue the victim to assert control badgering them, or ring and text the victim, or turn to third parties to complain about the behaviour of the victim in order to seek to assert control. In this instance, Heard did so by defecating in the bed as an act of Provocation.)

In Another’s Arms

Speaking of another instance when Depp had apparently physically assaulted her, Heard claimed that he was yet again drunk and high and suddenly became jealous, claiming that Amber had an affair with her then co-star James Franco. (Provocation, Deflection)

Since then, footage of the apartment buildings elevator has been made public, showing that Heard had Franco over one night. Heard could be seen entering the elevator on May 22nd2016 about an hour before midnight to go to the garage level. Moments later, she re-entered the elevator with a man now confirmed to be James Franco, he covered his face with the hood of his sweater whilst Heard kept her head low to disguise her face from where she knew the elevator camera to be. Franco rested his head on Heard as the elevator took them up and Heard also leant against him. They left the elevator together on the level where Depp owns all five of the apartments. Given the secretive demeanour of both parties, the late hour at which Franco arrived and the fact that Depp was out of town when Heard invited Franco over, this supports the proposition that Heard was engaging in extra marital activity with Franco. (Devaluation of Depp as Intimate Partner Primary Source, Infidelity, Seduction of Intimate Partner Secondary Source.)

The receptionist also testified to having seen Elon Musk visit Amber several times as well, always when Johnny was out of town. (Further act of Devaluation)

Acts of Violence

Heard wanted Depp to be investigated as to whether he had ever been violent with one of his past partners. It is invariably the case that an abuser is a narcissist and therefore a pattern of abusive/violent behaviour occurs with previous partners because of the way that the narcissists ingrained defence mechanisms operate.

Both Depp´s ex-Wife as well as his daughter have publicly spoken out on behalf of him and defended him, confirming that they have never witnessed Depp engaging in violent behaviour.

It is however noteworthy that Amber would make such a specific request, given her own personal history. Amber had been arrested in 2009 for physical violence against her then girlfriend Tasya van Ree. Amber later accused the female cop responsible for her case of misogyny and homophobia, the cop has spoken out about this, noting that she is a lesbian and an LBTQ activist herself. (Compartmentalisation, Hypocrisy, Ignited Fury, Physical Violence, Blame Shifting, Deflection, Lack of Accountability.)

Sexual Identity

Heard publicly came out at GLAAD’s 25th anniversary event in 2010but has stated, “I don’t label myself one way or another—I have had successful relationships with men and now a woman. I love who I love; it’s the person that matters.”

Of her decision to come out, she said: “I think when I became aware of my role in the media, I had to ask myself an important question ‘Am I part of the problem?’ And I think that when millions and millions of hard-working, taxpaying Americans are denied their rights and denied their equality you have to ask yourself what are the factors that are an epidemic problem and that’s what this is.”

Heard was in a relationship with photographer Tasya van Ree from 2008 to 2012.

Narcissism manifests in heterosexual, homosexual and bisexual individuals. Evidence of sexual fluidity does not, in itself mean an individual is a narcissist.

Sexual fluidity is however more prevalent in narcissists, owing to a lack of self and the chameleon ability that narcissist have to present whatever “form” enables the assertion of control and gathering of fuel. The narcissist will be whatever he or she needs to be, to ensure control is obtained and maintained, since control and fuel are central to the needs of the narcissist.

Be Careful What You Wish For

Heard sought to obtain Depp’s medical records including any evidence of drug use or drug treatment. Depp has spoken about his dependency on pain killers and struggles to get off of them and had submitted his medical records.

Dr. David Kipper is a specialist in drug and addiction treatments who played an integral role as Heard had hoped to get Dr. Kipper to testify on her behalf about Johnny’s drug use. (Smearing= This attempt backfired as Dr. Kipper has since testified against Heard having witnessed her abusive behaviour towards Depp on multiple occasions. When Depp’s side submitted the medical records required of him, they stated the following:

“And included in the records that will be produced today, if they haven’t been already, are the records of Dr Kipper. Dr Kipper is also a fact witness. We expect him to testify that he saw, he personally witnessed violence between the couple, but the violence was initiated by Ms. Heard. And Mr. Depp did not even respond physically to that violence. He will testify to that as a fact witness. So this is a case of be careful what you wish for.” (Physical Violence, Ignition of Fury, Hypocrisy, Compartmentalisation, Lack of Future Planning.)

It was claimed by several media outlets that the trial was postponed by 6 months (and is therefore to be held on the 3rdof August instead of the 3rdof February) because Johnny failed to meet the deadline to submit them. This is incorrect and may well be an attempt (which has failed) by Heard and her advisers to manipulate public opinion and attack Depp (Smearing and Facade Management).

Heard failed to submit her own medical records thus far. (Sense of Entitlement) Furthermore, the postponing had nothing to do with the submission of medical records at all. Judge Bruce D. White, who resides over the case, noted that not only did Depp provide his medical records on time, but that this was also not the reason the court granted the continuance to begin with. Judge White stated:

“It was granted at the request of both parties because of what were reported to me to be difficulties taking deposition of people taken in California. So I can only suspect that it is someone on the defences’ side that made the press release.”

 

Amber has spoken passionately about how she was a victim of domestic violence and how she will not be silenced but will speak up about the abuse she had to endure. She has also encouraged other victims to use their voices, which is interesting given that she is now on her 3rdattempt to try and dismiss Johnny’s defamation case against her. She also filed a motion for protective order, attempting to prevent any evidence against her from becoming available to the public. This motion was dismissed.

Amber Heard has now hired Harvey Weinstein’s abuse-specializing lawyer Roberta Kaplan to defend her.

She has also hired Paul Barresi, a former pornstar turned private detective in hopes of digging up any insinuations about Johnny that could be used against him. Barresi takes great pride in his abilities as he has recently been on a podcast stating the following:

“In the life of a celebrity, or anyone else for that matter, if you want to hurt someone, character assassination is the way to go. And the irony is, it isn’t necessary that whatever is said be true. The damage can be done in the mere telling of it.” (Character Assassination, Facade Management, Control Through Court Process, Deflection)

 

Death Threats and Innuendo

In October 2015 on the the US-Show “Overhaulin”, Depp tricked Heard with the help of her father into believing her car had been sold in parts and pieces by a man called David Killackey. A “police officer” reported the situation to Amber, claiming that her father had punched Killackey for selling Heard´s car to which Amber responded:

“And my Dad only hit him once? I don’t blame him. I’ll fucking kill him!”

She proceeded to flip off the man in question who had been standing at a distance. Depp then told her about the prank and surprised her with her re-designed and now glossy cherry red Mustang.

While Mr. Killackey did not actually sell Heard´s car, he was indeed Depp´s mechanic and recounted the events of the show and what followed after in his sworn declaration.

After the show, Mr. Killackey went to the Eastern Columbia building in which Depp owned five penthouses in which he, Amber and by then also several of Heard´s friends lived rent-free (Sense of Entitlement, Grandiosity). Heard had asked him to instruct her on how the newly installed touchscreen in her Mustang worked and how to interface her iPhone with the onboard system. He arrived at the appointed time but Heard was not available, it took her three hours before she came down from the penthouse to the parking garage. (Sense of Entitlement, Lack of Accountability) Mr. Killackey then stated the following:

“After she came down we found the Mustang, she got in the driver´s seat and I the front passenger seat. She seemed to be in a very happy mood. We spent a moment exchanging greetings. She then said something weird: “Ooh here we are alone together in a parked car in a dark parking garage. We could do anything in here and nobody would see us.” (Manipulation through Flirtation, Promised Gain, Boundary Violation)

He did not reply directly to her observation nor did he make eye contact but only responded with “Oookay, let me show you how the sound system works.”

He then showed her the touchscreen display connected to her phone and noticed that her phone was already connected to one contact: Dr. David Kipper. Mr. Killackey was also Dr. Kipper´s mechanic and asked her “Oh do you know Dr. Kipper too?”. He then stated:

“Amber’s response was completely unexpected, she turned to me shockingly icy and said “how the FUCK do you know David Kipper?” I quickly apologized for asking and said it was none of my business and told her Dr. Kipper was a client of mine. The tension in the air was extreme at that point while she gave me the silent treatment then she quickly exited the car while saying: “It’s none of your fucking business.” She walked to the penthouse elevator and I never saw her again.”  (Note the shift from flirtation to aggression – Black and White Thinking, Response to Threat to Control, Provocation, Verbal Aggression, Silent Treatment.)

Mr. Killackey continued to work on Depp´s cars and Heard´s Mustang as well but after Depp split from Heard, he told Mr. Killackey to separate the billing from Heard´s car in approximately June 2016.

Heard´s first reaction after receiving this information was to verbally abuse him over the phone using expletives, threats and a continued rant over what she claimed was an unfortunate financial downturn of her personal finances caused by Johnny. (Threat to Control, Sense of Entitlement, Victim Mentality, Verbal Aggression, Threat.)

She said to Mr. Killackey “you motherfucker, you’re screwing me!”, claimed that there was a legal agreement between her and Johnny that he would pay for her bills but failed to provide said agreement, likely because it does not exist. (Lie, Sense of Entitlement, Verbal Aggression, Need To Assert Control.)

She then went on to abuse Killackey verbally using words such as “Fucker, asshole, motherfucker” and said he was “a dishonourable piece of shit” stating that “Johnny will not pay my rent, he will not pay my bills, fuck him and fuck you!”. (Verbal Aggression)

 

A Mother’s Love

Heard had claimed that one of the first people she confided in when Depp allegedly started physically abusing her, was her mother, since she was someone who was familiar with these kinds of scenarios and would understand.

However, Heard´s Mother is no stranger to her daughter’s wrath herself. After having a short, friendly interaction with a reporter on the red carpet at the 2015 Toronto International Film Festival, Heard was caught on tape rushing towards mother in anger and hissing at her to “Never make eye contact. You embarrass me.”, whilst her mother obediently motioned to walk ahead of her, making Amber a way through the crowd. Amber´s comment could be interpreted as concern for her less press-experienced mother. However, Amber´s angry hand motions and baleful glare along with the verbal put-down in public demonstrate an alternative driver. (Lack of Emotional Empathy, Ignited Fury, Provocation, Assertion of Control, Verbal Insult, Grandiosity.)

Neither David nor Paige Heard ever disputed anything Depp stated with regards to not having been abusive to Amber and her having violently assaulted him.

The information above is only part of a mass of information which exists, however from this information one sees evidence through a pattern of repeated behaviour

  • The telling of lies
  • The assertion of control
  • The response to a perceived threat to control
  • Facade mangement
  • The operation of a fuel matrix
  • Physical violence
  • The ignition of fury
  • Damage to Property
  • Infidelity
  • Provocation
  • Smearing
  • Lack of Accountability
  • Lack of Future Planning
  • Compartmentalisation
  • Sense of Entitlement
  • Grandiosity
  • Flirtation
  • Boundary Violation
  • Promised Gain
  • Silent Treatment
  • Black and White Thinking
  • Verbal Aggression
  • Threat
  • Operation of Coterie
  • Lack of Emotional Empathy

Based on the information provided, the above means that Amber Heard is A Very Performing Narcissist.

Want more about the dynamic between Heard and Depp?

Depp V Heard – Telephone Analysis

(With thanks to DG for additional research.)

 

 

 

92 thoughts on “Amber Heard – A Very Performing Narcissist

  1. Violetta says:

    From Sarah Vine’s DM column:

    “One question: why has Heard modelled her hair on Elsa from the Frozen films — a beautiful princess with hidden talents, cruelly misunderstood, cast into the wilderness and accused of sorcery, yet who ultimately emerged triumphant ? I can’t imagine…”

    https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2020/07/21/22/31034804-8546577-image-a-70_1595368772835.jpg

    https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2020/07/21/22/31034800-8546577-image-a-71_1595368772859.jpg

  2. MommyPino says:

    NA, I have just reread what you said that you are not questioning my husband’s guilt or innocence. I missed that somehow. I was slightly emotional and defensive for my husband that I didn’t read your reply objectively. Thanks for clarifying that. I get deeply affected with all sorts of emotions when I feel that I have caused my husband to get criticized unfairly.

  3. Liza says:

    As long as Henry Cavill doesn’t go under the Tudoroscop and is proven to be a narcissit, i think i will be ok and still believe the perfect man exists.

  4. mollyb5 says:

    HG ..yes. It think they will stay out of headlines for a long time . Unless she’s doing a campaign of promoting herself for a little while ….tell the media moves on to other things .

  5. mollyb5 says:

    HG …it’s not an obvious thing to me . I do feel at times the real victim is quiet . Specially a man saying to others that his wife abuses him. Men do not like to admit or tell about that . I also see how a man will then turn and play the victim. So ..when careers are involved and people may develope very strong opinions about amber and then ruin her career, she’s doing her beat to make doubt in the minds of others ( media , consumers movie goers ).
    Johnnie is finally defending himself. We will know also by the next relationship she chooses …but I’m sure it will be hidden for quite a while ?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Your question mark rather suggests you’re not sure.

  6. Darth Renardus says:

    In case anyone is in any doubt, what has very probably nailed it for Heard is THE picture.

    Now, libel trials are notorious. Indeed, I’m reading at the moment, ‘The Irish Peacock and The Scarlett Marquess’.. it’s a book written by Wilde’s grandson on the scandalous ‘attempted libel’ by Queensbury. Him of boxing rules.

    Queensbury did not commit libel. He did commit unforgivable sins against the English language, however.

    The QC, John Mortimer, writes the forward. ‘No one ever comes out of libel cases well’

    Both Heard’s and Depp’s reputations will be destroyed. Heard is an idiot with very little (if at all) talent. Depp is a genious actor. But will he be bankable after this?

    But the picture. A kind and loving partner, or even friend, wouldn’t have taken ‘the ice cream picture’. That was a spectacular backfire from her counsel. It demonstrates an utter lack.of empathy on her part. Played right into Depp’s counsel’s hands.

    So, I originally though he would lose. But I think that nails it. He will win. But what has he won?

    The Sun has form for printing libel. Still at it, i see. All those years after Hillsborough. Disgraceful.

  7. StrongerWendy says:

    Who is DG?

    1. Bibi says:

      Someone who deserves a thanking. Or spanking?

      Already onto the bad jokes and I’ve yet to have a drink.

  8. MommyPino says:

    This is why I don’t automatically believe every accusation by a fellow woman against any man. I look at the story and how they behave before I will get convinced. Being raised by a narcissist I know that women can be narcissists too and they can easily lie and put somebody in prison or destroy someone’s life for something that never happened. I have seen my mom make up allegations just because someone looked at her the wrong way or out of jealousy. I’m glad to say that I never believed Amber H. from the very start. Something about her affect was a dead give away that she was not telling the truth. And something about Depp’s expression looked like he was the real victim. So glad that you made this thorough and amazingly insightful analysis HG. I feel that this alone brings justice for the real victim.

    1. Violetta says:

      MP:

      On Daily Mail, several women commented that Amber’s demeanor in court was nothing like what they had gone through when facing abusive partners in court. They remembered shaking physically, being terrified despite the presence of law personnel. Amber’s triumphant smirking made them sick, not least because her obvious BS means real allegations might be more likely to be called into question.

      1. MommyPino says:

        So true V. It is terrible for the real victims of domestic violence. And it’s the same with narcissists who make false allegations of rape or sexual harassment, it harms the real victims of those crimes. Hopefully the knowledge on narcissism and how to distinguish one versus someone telling the truth will spread from this blog so people doesn’t dismiss the real victims of crimes because of the doing of the narcissistic false accusers. I remember my husband’s story where when his first wife was losing the custody battle she all of a sudden said in the court that he has been sexually molesting their two little daughters. He felt fearful watching his ex wife make the allegation in court thinking it would be the end of everything he has built and trying to build. But the judge just took one look at his ex wife and told her that if she ever mentions that again she will make sure that she will never see her daughters again and the ex wife never brought it up again. He was so thankful that the judge even though also a woman could tell that his ex wife was lying. I don’t know if the judge knew about narcissism but I think learning about how and why and timing of narcissists’ behaviors helps us figure out faster and easier if someone is telling the truth or not.

        1. Violetta says:

          “the judge even though also a woman could tell that his ex wife was lying”

          Or maybe because she was a woman she could tell that his ex-wife was lying.

          Most probably she’d seen plenty of liars in court, and a significant percentage of them would have been Narcissists. That could be said of most judges, but the one you wrote about was capable of learning from what she saw, even if she didn’t use the term “Narcissist.”

          1. MommyPino says:

            I think you are right! The judge was pretty good. The mom acts like a meek lamb and even I fell for her act when I didn’t know her that well yet. I’m amazed that the judge saw that she’s full of shit right away. But I am getting better and better at that now because of the things that I have read here about Mid Rangers.

          2. MommyPino says:

            I can’t remember what exactly I wrote but I just want to make sure I was not misunderstood if I didn’t write it the right way. I mean to say as I read about the Mid Rangers here from HG’s articles, how they are described with their behaviors I am becoming more confident that I will be able to tell faster who is just full of shit. But probably not as fast as that judge.

        2. NarcAngel says:

          A judge taking one look to dismiss and shut down an openly stated allegation of sexual abuse involving a child while determining custody without further investigation? Is it even legally possible to do that and remain a judge?

          1. MommyPino says:

            NA, I paraphrased what my husband said the judge said but I can’t remember the exact words. I think the words are more like “if you continue to go down that path” or something, and not if you mention it again. The judge threatened the mom that she will not see her kids again or something to that effect. I know the mom and she’s a total liar. She’s like a meek lamb to people who doesn’t know her but she stabs people on the back without hesitation. A Lower MR. I don’t know any more details as to what happened in the court except that the years that I have been around them I have never seen his ex wife be concerned about him molesting their daughters and their daughters and her major criticisms about my husband’s parenting is that he’s too strict with the youngest who was the only minor when I came to their lives. She allowed their youngest daughter to do anything she wanted in her house including have nightly visits with an adult boyfriend while badmouthing their dad for being too strict. Why all of a sudden the concern for her daughter being molested doesn’t exist anymore if it really happened?

          2. NarcAngel says:

            MP
            I was not questioning the ex’s motive in the accusation or your husband’s guilt or innocence, but rather the portrayal of the judge’s handling of it.

            It may be in the telling of the story. I’m sure your husband and his ex have differing versions that casts each in the best light and only those that were there know the truth.

            Judges are to base their decisions on evidence and sexual abuse is a serious allegation in a custody case. God help the parents who have serious concerns about their children and are dismissed and threatened because of a judge’s inability to see through a good facade over actual evidence.

          3. MommyPino says:

            NA, I don’t have a lot of knowledge about the law but my guess based on what little I know is that the hearing was for the custody battle and not for rape. I wouldn’t mind being corrected if I am wrong but I believe that she cannot prove rape in a hearing for a custody battle. She should have filed a separate case if it was important to her and bring her evidence to the court. So what she did was actually unfair to accuse him of something that she didn’t intend to prove. The judge already knew that she’s a liar and it wasn’t the proper venue to talk about an alleged sexual molestation so I believe that the judge did the right thing in preventing her from making more damage to an innocent person just because of her need to assert control.

            Like I said, she had no concerns about the safety of her daughters in my husband’s house after that custody battle. In fact I have shared this story here before that when her oldest daughter turned 18 and moved to her house with her new husband, her new husband didn’t get along with her daughter and said that he didn’t want her there. So when the daughter came home from school she found all of her clothes and stuff outside at the front door and the mom opened the door and told her that her husband doesn’t want her so she needs to move back to her dad. Would she send her daughter back to her dad if he really molested them? I don’t think so. I think that The judge did a great job in this instance to stop a liar from smearing through a false accusation. I believe that if someone files a rape case then the judge should allow the prosecutors to present their case but it wasn’t a trial for rape and she never sued him for rape.

          4. Darth Renardus says:

            MP

            You are wrong.

            Cases of DA and DV go hand in hand with Child Custody cases. The blurb is all over CAFCASS’s website. Any allegation is meant to be taken seriously. The reality is different.

            A partner who rapes another partner will have their ability to parent thrown into doubt. This is what happened to ne

            The reality is different. The ex raped me. I could not for the life of me get people to recognise how serious it had become.

            I cannot imagine US law is any different.

            I’m going to pull you up on this though,

            ‘She should have filed a separate case if it was important to her’

            Wow. I mean seriously wow. I dont know the woman, and I dont know you either, but to say, ‘if it’s important?’.

            When is RAPE not important?

            No MP, you clearly dont have knowledge of how the family court system works.

            Be mindful that others reading this will take your words as gospel.

          5. Darth Renardus says:

            NA

            Agreed. It’s not.

          6. NarcAngel says:

            MP
            I want to make clear that I am not suggesting that the accusation against your husband held any weight. My comment was in regard to the judge’s behaviour according to the story.

          7. MommyPino says:

            NA, I asked my husband about the story as I was starting to be unsure of my recollection of what he told me. He has only told me about this story once when he was very upset at his ex wife and I have heard him mention this to his daughters only once but not in detail. My story was not entirely correct. He said that the judge exploded on his ex wife’s lawyer and not on his ex wife and gave the lawyer a stern warning that if he decides to go down that path he better make sure that he really has proof or the consequences for them will be serious. So my husband said that right there the judge stopped the false accusation. When he told me the story it wasn’t very detailed and I imagined the scenario the wrong way. When he said that he was so scared when he was falsely accused of sexually molesting their daughters thinking that it might damage his relationship with his daughters and might destroy his livelihood, I imagined that he was watching his wife make the accusation in court but he said it was his wife’s lawyer that was speaking on her behalf so it was her lawyer that made the allegation against him and the one that got the stern warning from the judge right away. He was thankful that the judge stopped it and didn’t let them drag him to the mud with something he didn’t do.

            If there is any doubt that still exists from you or Renarde or anyone reading this about my husband’s character, I just want to stress that he is a good person and would never do such a heinous act. He has never physically assaulted me, any of his kids and his ex wife. It was her who broke his ribs once by punching him but he never got physical. It is disheartening for me to read doubts that he might have done something so heinous after I have already said that he would never do such a thing. He doesn’t have a facade as he is exactly who he is in public and in private in our home. I feel guilty so I just want to clarify that strongly about him.

          8. MommyPino says:

            NA,

            Thank you for making that clarification. 💕. I understand what you are saying now.

        3. Darth Renardus says:

          MP

          Urm…how exactly did you know he wasn’t abusing them?

          1. MommyPino says:

            I know that because I know the people for years. He raised his kids as a single dad. He got full custody of them but decided to allow them to spend time with their mom out of empathy for the kids. The whole time he was raising the kids the concern about him molesting the kids didn’t exist in fact the kids don’t have a memory of it and once I saw him mention it to them in a heated argument his daughters just ignored him. The interactions between him and his daughters do not indicate any past sexual molestation as they never look awkward when they hug or kiss him. Like I said, I look at the behaviors. Just like I looked at Amber H. and saw her demeanors and behaviors indicative that her stories were not true and just like what Violetta pointed out where real victims of domestic abuse do not behave like that.

          2. Darth Renardus says:

            MP

            Full custody means zip. Sexual abuse memories can take years to surface.

            It took me 40 years to finally get the measure of my Dad. With Hgs help of course. Might have taken decades to figure it out.

            I’m not saying your husband is an abuser but there are three sides to every story.

            As to the mum allowing her presumably adult daughter to have boyfriends over; neither here nor there. I’d do the same thing. As long as they are both safe, that’s the main thing.

          3. MommyPino says:

            Renarde,

            1. Knowing my husband he will never abuse anyone.

            2. Even his daughters have expressed in many instances that their dad is the best dad in the world. Their conflicts come from him dating and marrying me who’s only four years older than his oldest daughter and for him not allowing his 15-16 yr old to date the adult high school drop out who always wore a white wife beater tank and gave his daughter a shot gun as a gift. Other than that they have always acknowledged that their dad never missed any of their sports games or events in school in spite of him being a very busy doctor (a lot of doctors we know don’t have a lot of time for their kids because of how busy they are).

            2. The mom never sued my husband for sexually molesting their daughters. She mentioned it during their custody battle hearing when she saw towards the end that the husband is very likely to win the custody because the judge has been criticizing her parenting skills based on the evidence that they gathered (house visits, testimony by kids and people who knew them, etc.). The timing was a crucial red flag that she never brought up the molestation until she was about to lose the custody battle (assertion of control). After the custody battle she never sued him for child molestation as she has no way of proving it. If the judge didn’t give her a stern warning and the mom continued to make that allegation the mom still would not have been able to prove it but it would have destroyed his reputation and practice. After the custody battle she had no concerns about him molesting their daughters again which is also a huge red flag on timing because if someone molested your daughter once would you be able to trust that person again?

            There are no three sides to this story Renarde. Only two sides: the truth and the lie. And the mom’s version and accusation was a total lie. People don’t molest their own kids and all of a sudden become the greatest dad ever. Molesting your own kid is not a minor thing, it indicates a huge psychological issue that will manifest in patterns of behavior.

          4. Darth Renardus says:

            MP

            You cannot ‘sue’ someone for sexual abuse. You cannot ‘sue’ someone for rape.

            These are criminal acts which in the UK are handled first by the Police, then the CPS.

          5. HG Tudor says:

            Actually you can bring a civil claim (sue) somebody for sexual abuse, including rape, both in the UK and the US. In the UK it is done as a personal injury claim as a claim in tort. Sometimes, because the criminal burden of proof is higher (beyond reasonable doubt v balance of probabilities), the criminal case fails, but the civil claim succeeds.

          6. Darth Renardus says:

            Hg

            I rightly fully stand corrected.

            How often does that happen though?

          7. MommyPino says:

            “ As to the mum allowing her presumably adult daughter to have boyfriends over; neither here nor there. I’d do the same thing. As long as they are both safe, that’s the main thing.”

            I understand your style of parenting but it’s not just the decision of one of the parents. The adult boyfriend is (under the law) raping their daughter and the dad was against it and the mom still allows it when the dad wasn’t there while putting the daughter against her dad. You do not see that as manipulative?

            “ I’m not saying your husband is an abuser but there are three sides to every story.”
            This is why I made my original point about narcissists making false accusations. To leave any allowance or cast a doubt that an innocent person “may be” an abuser in my opinion is unacceptable. Just like being pregnant, someone didn’t “maybe” raped his own daughters. It is either he did it or he did not. This is how a narcissist making a false accusation destroy an innocent person’s life. It is incredibly unfair to say there are three sides to a story when the person is innocent as it is giving credence to the lie. A lie is a lie.

          8. Darth Renardus says:

            MP

            The rape thing. IF both parties are of roughly the sane age; it’s not rape. It never will be (and I’m talking a year or so of each other), its teenage experimentation. If one is significantly over that gap then it is rape. Is this the case? If so, you have bigger issues than a bit of naughtiness.

            Of course, it’s all age appropriate and yound adults develop at different rates. Fortunately, my daughter has her head screwed on.

            MP, there are ALWAYS three sides. I’m not talking about he said/she said. Youd be amazed how frequently my memory fails me. There’s even a phrase for it ‘The Mandela Effect’. One day, the MME said to me the following.

            ‘You know the Young Ones?’ (For the US, this is an INFAMOUS sitcom in the UK. Set at the fictional University of Scumbag, whilst they are in the most decrepit student digs)

            ‘You do appreciate there were 5 in the house? (There were 4 males, or so I thought, well EVERYONE thought!)

            ‘There was also a woman’.

            ‘No there fucking wasn’t!

            I was shown the clip. He was right. There was a woman. Never said anything. Was never referred to. The Mandela Effect.

            MP, I have every sympathy for your situation but I try to judge the facts dispassionately now.

            Do wish you well though.

          9. HG Tudor says:

            The Mandela Effect isn’t your memory failing you, it is where a large group of people suffer from imperfect memory and they as a group believe something happened when it did not. With the Young Ones this is more a case of failing to notice something rather than remembering it differently because there were only four housemates who interacted, there was a fifth figure repeatedly seen in the background (but sometimes missed out owing to sheer forgetfulness on the part of the crew) and that fifth figure could pass as a housemate (it could also be argued that this person was a visitor and therefore never was a housemate). This fifth figure was never doing anything, but was just sat with long hair, head bowed and might as well have been a chair or a lamp given the lack of interaction.

          10. Darth Renardus says:

            Hg

            Ahh ok. Weird though.

          11. MommyPino says:

            “ I’m going to pull you up on this though,

            ‘She should have filed a separate case if it was important to her’

            Wow. I mean seriously wow. I dont know the woman, and I dont know you either, but to say, ‘if it’s important?’.

            When is RAPE not important?”

            Renarde you are clearly not getting it. It is unimportant because it never happened. Really you are being ridiculous. You don’t know me, you don’t know her and you don’t know my husband and you are putting my husband on trial by insinuating that he might have raped his daughters without my husband being able to defend himself to you and answer your questions. You are interrogating me who was not even there.

            Renarde, I have shared a story on how false accusations are possible and that was shared to me by my husband. When he shares a story he often just tells me the gist of the story, unlike me who tends to do a play by play. He doesn’t like to talk about his ex wife as he says it never makes him feel good so he shares these stories rarely and when he does he often doesn’t go on detail.

            For you to take a problem on me saying that it was not important to the ex wife is unreasonable. The reality and fact is “it was not important to the ex wife because it never happened!” How many times do I have say that I have seen their interactions and none of them (not even the ex wife) have ever said that he is a molester whenever they got mad at him. It was always about mocking his rules for his daughters, making fun of him not being as good looking as her, making fun of him not being a real doctor (not an MD), making fun of his smile, making fun of him being goofy, making fun of him. It being able to maintain his yard when she picked up their kids and saw that there was overgrown plants in the yard, making fun of him dating me and our age gap, etc. but never was it ever said by her that he sexually molested their kids except in that courtroom. So it was NOT important to her!

            I think you are mixing or projecting your personal experience to the story that I shared. The story that I shared was not about the real rapes that happened to real victims. It was about narcissists making false accusations. It was not about you.

            I looked it up online and saw that it’s not uncommon for false accusations to happen during child custody battles. So what I have shared here is actually a valid point regarding narcissism and their ability to make false allegations.

            “ Without a doubt, an often used and particularly devastating problem during child custody matters are false allegations of child abuse or child sexual abuse. When some malicious parents, driven by hate or personality disorders, acquire a “win child custody at all costs” mentality – false allegations of abuse are often the result. Those costs aren’t just financial. The costs include the loss of a normal life for the targeted parent for eternity. The costs include the loss of childhood for the child or children used as a weapon for just such an assault.”

          12. Darth Renardus says:

            MP

            Chill. It was just the manor you expresses your views on rape. I took it to be flippant and offhand. My views on rape would be the same if I hadnt been raped.

            Now, I dont know your background bit the worst thing for me was not the rape actually, which was fairly non-descript. It was not being believed. Or my ex attempting to get the Court to gag me.

            Which then led to another intresting idea. One cannot get justice in the UK for rape. So what if I wrote it down published it, names and all?

            The point is, true survivours arent believed because of the spectre of false allegations. It’s actually very small indeed but it blights us all.

            Truce MP?

          13. MommyPino says:

            “ MP

            You cannot ‘sue’ someone for sexual abuse. You cannot ‘sue’ someone for rape.

            These are criminal acts which in the UK are handled first by the Police, then the CPS.”

            I was wrong with my usage of the word sue I guess.

            Keep in mind Renarde that I grew up in a country where there was/is no divorce. So therefore no custody battles either. I think this might change soon as there is a proposed law to allow divorce. They say currently is is only the Vatican and my home country that prohibits divorce. I have made a statement prior to me making a guess that I have very little knowledge and I do not mind being corrected.

            I understand what you are saying about three sides of the story. I think the third side of the story here is that the story got inadvertently altered by me because I didn’t hear the story in detail and I wasn’t there when it happened. But the fact remains that the allegation was false. My husband did not abuse his kids and his ex wife lied in court which apparently happens a lot in child custody battles.

          14. Darth Renardus says:

            MP

            Fair enough on your husband. I believe you. I honestly wasnt ragging.

            But I just had to read that again…mo divorce. Catholic country I guess but wow. That’s shocking. In 2020?

          15. MommyPino says:

            Renarde, you are wrong about statutory rape. But maybe the laws in the UK are different from the laws in California.

            Here’s the California law:

            “ The following are a few scenarios that could lead to PC 261.5 charges:

            a 19-year-old female high school senior has sex with a 16-year-old male who is in several of her classes;
            a 35-year-old college professor develops a sexual relationship with a 17-year-old girl who is in one of the classes he teaches; and
            a pair of high school sweethearts who have been dating for three years have sex for the first time when he is 18 but she is still only 16.
            The crime of statutory rape is a California “wobbler” offense. This means that the crime can be charged as either a misdemeanor or a felony depending on the facts of the case. The offense can be punished by up to four years in jail or prison.”

            https://www.shouselaw.com/ca/defense/laws/age-of-consent/

            They were breaking the law. My husband threatened his ex wife to call CPS several times and she said that she stopped doing it although my stepson would occasionally tell us that his mom was lying. My stepdaughter also threatened her dad that she will go to court and ask for her dad’s custody of her to be removed if he doesn’t leave her alone. It was a terrible situation for any parent that the mom has created but it’s over now.

          16. Darth Renardus says:

            MP

            Thanks for info but you see in both of those cases, there is a large age gap.

            Age of consent for hetero (and I think no male homosexual) activities is 16.

            So I’m really talking about say 15 and 16 say. Or perhaps even 14 and 15. More than that is suspect.

            In the case of that Professor, in the uk, in secondary schools, it is illegal for us to have sex with a student even though they may very well be over 16.

          17. Witch says:

            @D.R
            I think when you’ve been in a relationship with someone for years you can kind of tell what they would be capable of, especially as empaths we do “sense” things even if we dismiss it after the fact. And I can’t imagine that someone would sexually abuse their children and not show any other signs of being abusive/a control freak. Sexual abuse is a tactic of control after all.
            when someone sexually abuses their children they are invasive and controlling of them in other ways because there will be a lack of boundary recognition.

          18. Darth Renardus says:

            Witch

            Hmm. I dont know. I’ve heard cases where the other party wasnt aware and it’s like the proverbial.

            Also my case which was threat to rape cold light of day, if someone had asked me wager the house on him not being capable of uttering that, I would’ve done. That’s 18 years.

            Other women who have turned round after a substantial period of time a d said, ‘I dont know this person’

            I would never have believed my father was up to tricks and japes but it was true. Because I percieved he was a decent and loving husband and father.

            But he was.

            I do take your points on sensing. Bit I was still young then only beginning to flex my superpower. Instead, when 13 ish, I began to remove myself from his presence as much as I could.

          19. MommyPino says:

            Witch, very valid point. I was trying to say that about him. His daughters have always maintained that he’s a great dad and their only problem with him is that he dated and married me and also when he didn’t approve of the youngest daughter’s former boyfriend when she was a minor and he was an adult. He had rules but still normal rules and not like the one I experienced. He didn’t even tried to take away their relationship with their mom and he just took their constant criticisms and making fun of him in humor. His pattern of behavior does not indict hat he will be capable of doing something like that.

          20. Darth Renardus says:

            MP

            Can I ask the ages of the two involved here? Is it a significant age gap?

          21. Witch says:

            @
            MP I don’t have a normal dad.
            But I think it’s quite common for normal dads to want to protect their daughters from guys they know are no good, as long as it’s not weirdly obsessive.
            I don’t think I’d allow romantic sleep overs at that age if I was a parent.
            I lost a lot of my youth (9 years to be exact) being coupled with a narc from age 16.
            She’ll thank him when she’s older and wiser.

          22. Darth Renardus says:

            @Witch

            You see, to my mind, it’s about not only the young adults age, but also intelligence. And being safe.

            Being safe is not having your 15 year old boyfriend attempting to coerce you into sex in a.. ahem, school doorway

            No. Fuck off, I gently said

            The point is, children and young adults will always experiment. Totally normal. As long as they are close in age.

            I’d far rather my children were safe. And believe me, I personally have been in very unsafe environments. I dont want my children to experience that. I was unsafe because my father was continually slapping me if he didnt like an outfit. My mother INSISTING I was a virgin on my wedding night. I had it double-barrelled. So I hid it.

            That was a complete negligence on their duties as protectors. So naturally, it was forced underground.

            You see, I thought they were stupid. Sex is NOTHING. Isnt that the point of SATN?

            When I used to dress up, in my view, it wasn’t provocative. I was far more interested with seeing my buds and having a laugh. Not tapping off, which ny female friends did frequently and I largely ignored.

            If that situation, of one of my children, sleeping with another under my roof; questions.

            1 – Is this what you want to do?
            2 – Are you taking precautions and if so, what are they?
            3 – Keep. It. Quiet.

            As I’ve said, I want my children to be safe. Push them out and they will do it anyway.

            And, I’d want to get the gauge on both my children’s partners. I cannot do that if they are sneaking around in cars. Or worse.

          23. MommyPino says:

            Hello Witch, I agree with you. If you met the kid she was dating (he was around 19 I think), you would understand why the dad didn’t want his daughter around him. He always wore a white tank which my husband calls a wife beater tank, he drove the ugliest pick up truck which he remodeled and ended up looking like Frankenstein, he had my stepdaughter ride on the bed of his truck on a bumpy country road which is illegal here currently, he gave her a shotgun which my husband had her return to her boyfriend, etc. You are right because one time when I was driving her around as she didn’t have a car yet and they already broke up for about two years she told me that she saw him and she was so grossed out. The weird thing though is she told me that she is thankful that her dad allowed her to rebel and learn from her own mistakes and allowed her to stay in relationship with him for herself to figure out in her own that she didn’t really want him. I was so confused like I was in Twilight Zone or some alternative reality because my memory is that her dad was so distraught about the whole thing and she was screaming at her dad’s face saying he’s the worst dad in the world (when she’s not mad he’s the best dad in the world) and threatening him to go to court and that she will change her last name to her mom’s last name etc. and then she moved to her mom’s house full time and we didn’t see her for many months. So it’s funny how her recollection is different from what really happened but at least she still appreciated her dad.

          24. MommyPino says:

            Ok truce Renarde ☮️

            Just to clarify, I take rape very seriously. My flippant attitude was towards the mom and her false accusation. The attitude is coming from me knowing her modus operandi for years, her meek lamb act then stabbing you when you least expect it. And also from knowing without any doubt that he didn’t do it.

            The boyfriend was about 19 and my stepdaughter was 15 when their relationship started.

            I was also shocked that we were the last two county in the world that doesn’t have divorce but my shock is more coming from being shocked that all the other countries already have divorce because I was used to it. And the only other country that doesn’t have divorce is the Vatican which is full of many celibate people. The divorce in my home country is the husband leaves the house and lives with a mistress. It’s automatic in the culture that the kids are left to the mother. There’s no legal need to pay alimony but culturally the dad is expected to voluntarily give child support. Maybe there’s also a legal way to force child support but I don’t know for sure.

          25. Darth Renardus says:

            MP

            Truce accepted x we are all good.x

            Yeah stabbing in the back. A true mark of a MRN female. Frenemy really sums that shit up.

            19 and 15. Totally unacceptable. And wildly so. I would not countenance that either.

            Child support. I tried. So very hard. Even though there was a HUGE disparity wrt my children, I was a single mother. Their joint income was double mine.

            He was going to give he thousands on the divorce, due to pensiom credits etc when I was working. Did he? No he did not.

            Instead, he took that money and unilaterally decided, without consult with me, to take that money himself.

            Thousands. Now THAT is the mark.of a unaware psychopath.

            He escaped to a part of the UK which is pretty much the arsend of nowhere.

            So, I’m now going to have to hire a PD, to get Court papers served on him for money he knows. Let alone his Criminal activities, which he admitted to me day after Court.

            When I left him, i left him with everything.not the equity of course. But fixtures, fittings, the pension etc. At that point, I was having a complete breakdown. And he was ON MY FUCKING BACK 24/7. I was trying to shield my children. He was obsessed with me. Got his new partner to become obsessed. Thick as chicken shit, she is. Degree in Herbs? OMG.

            Two years in Family Court. It’s still too painful to recount.

            I’d happily contribute but I cant. My name is so black, my children wont let me give them money.

            I dream of them, all the time. The mistake I made when I was barely 20 has led to 24 years of utter heartache and misery.

          26. Witch says:

            @MP
            It must be so traumatising being a parent when things like that happen. I would want to lock my daughter in her room if she brought something like that to my door step, but I could get nicked for false imprisonment

          27. Renarde says:

            @Witch

            I think you’ll find a rifle butt or a baseball sorts it quick smart. But dont signpost it first.

            Now you see, I’m kind and I give fair warning. Most men dont.

            Hmm, should be like men, I think.

          28. MommyPino says:

            Renarde, I am not knowledgeable with child custody and child support laws but it sounds like you totally got taken advantage of. I hope that you can recoup everything that he owes you and I hope that your relationship with your kids will be easier and better soon. My husband had the same judge presided over his divorce settlement proceedings and she favored his ex wife and he believes he got really hammered. She ordered him to pay for her college so she can find a job easily and for him to pay alimony for as long as she stays single and she also gave the ex wife half of the house so he had to take a massive loan to buy a house for his ex wife so he could keep their house. Unfortunately the ex wife lost everything because of her second husband but it’s another long story.

            I think the kid was 19 but so never really asked him his age. He was 18 or above but probably not in his twenties. He actually didn’t look like a narc but he obeyed my stepdaughter all the time. He is what most people would call a hillbilly. Another thing that my husband hated about the kid is his daughter started becoming a hillbilly since they dated. She used to wear normal teenage clothes like t-shirts and jeans then all of a sudden she started asking for pink camo clothes and accessories and wanted a beat up pick up for her first car. So my husband thought that the guy was bad influence because he almost couldn’t recognize his own daughter.

            My husband told me that the divorce and custody battle are indeed a very long procedure. He said that at first the judge was favoring his ex wife regarding the custody but as they got to know his ex wife better it flipped to his favor. It sounds like you went through a lot. I can only imagine how difficult it is to not have the kind of relationship that you want to have with your kids. I wish for everything to get better for you and your kids ASAP.

          29. Renarde says:

            Thank you MP.

            Yes, absolutely shafted. In divorce and family court. Despicable. But when kids look back on that they will inevitably, but why did that happen Dad?

            Well, he cant really say because by treatment of her drove her to a suicidal breakdown.

            So he will blame old uni friends, mum, dad, brother etc. Anyone but him.

            In point of fact he actually blamed a female (narc) friend on an email she sent to me for that one. Rather than the more obvious, his breaking of a Court Order (which then placed him on Contempt of Court) by removing my children.

            When Patental Alienation happens, it happens very quicly. Overnight. Pretty much. In my case, he told my children, if they saw me, they would be taken into care. So they feel I am a threat All bollocks of course. SS couldn’t find their own arse in the dark if their very lives depended on it.

            Then you cant see your children which is beyond heartbreaking, fighting from them when you are clearly now very sick, even suicidal, then attempting to get other services such as the Police involved. The Court. CAFCASS. No one listened. No one cared.

            It was the most unbearably, traumatic incident of my life. Nothing I could say was any good enough. I wanted to die pretty much every day

            I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy

          30. MommyPino says:

            Haha I agree with you Witch! I would probably end up doing the same thing! Teenagers are scary!

          31. Violetta says:

            MP:

            The boyfriend sounds like the narrator in “A Girl Who Loves to Truck.”

            If she weren’t already over him, I’d suggest making her watch the video for Maddie and Tae’s “Girl in a Country Song.” It is hysterical, and all too accurate.

      2. Darth Renardus says:

        Vi

        This is true.

        Going into Court is EXTREMELY disturbing. I’ve done it many times. The last time, I ‘channelled’ Jacquie O.

        I honestly thought I’d spew my guts, shit or piss myself. It’s no cakewalk for sure. Thankfully, I did none of the above. It’s not unknown for women to break down in court and run out of there, in floods of tears.0

        The only time I’ve ever felt that pressure to perform was getting married and lecturing thermodynamics.

        The Court is used to abuse. There are a lot of legal professionals making money out of someone’s abject misery.

        Even giving birth wasn’t that bad.

        Poor Amber. My heart doeth bleed.

    2. mollyb5 says:

      MommyPino, is their a video of amber telling her side ? I rarely watch movie star people . Have not even seen her in a movie.

      1. MommyPino says:

        Hi Mollyb5,

        I haven’t seen a video of her. But when I saw her demeanor during the time when she was making the accusation like the pictures of her with the bruise on her face with her eyes looking down with a pout in a “poor me”and self righteous way and when she attended an event so well dressed and with a smirk I think after she got the money from the divorce settlement and donated it, her smirk reminded me of the narcissists I knew when they one upped someone and believed that they came out as the victor over that person. Her expressions in the pictures of her that I saw when she just started making the accusations didn’t look like her confidence was shaken which is something that I saw or noticed from other victims of domestic violence like in Rhianna’s pictures when she was physically assaulted by her boyfriend. If you look up online and compare the pictures between those two women you will notice what I noticed too.

        1. Darth Renardus says:

          MP

          I dont think Heard donated the money at all.

          I’d like clear, hard evidence that she did tbh.

  9. Violetta says:

    Acquisition of traits and even personal history:

    DM headline: “Amber Heard ‘stole’ my rape survival story ‘twisted it into her own story to benefit herself’, says her fired personal assistant who was raped at knife point”

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Indeed.

    2. Darth Renardus says:

      Yeah Vi. She needs to burn in hell for that one.

      1. Violetta says:

        Darth Ren:

        BTW, I wrote a long post (that took a while to go through moderation ) on the Classroom Narcissist, discussing the latest production of “Brave New World” and my dismal employment prospects. The latter have improved somewhat: doing some freelance medical transcription. A drop in the bucket for bills, but less depressing than nothing to do, and looks better on my resume than being completely unemployed.

        1. Violetta says:

          BTW, have you noticed both Amber and Meghan push girls to “speak out” no matter how they’re discouraged? Real brave. Amber makes herself the spokesmodel for me-too and domestic violence, proudly announcing that she will not be silenced, etc. Meghan’s Girl Up speech tells girls to challenge authority. I had an activist teacher who was always preaching against drugs, smoking, pollution, violence, telling us we had to get involved, stand by our convictions (meaning HER convictions). You can imagine how that worked out when kids went home to parents who smoked substances legal or otherwise, littered, or had violent arguments, and Stood By Their Convictions. She sent a bunch of helpless kids out to do her battles for her, & that’s what’s being attempted here.

          Once a high-ranking Nazi pointed out to Hitler that the mission on which he was sending a bunch of very young soldiers (towards the end of the war, they were drafting boys for the Hitler Youth) couldn’t possibly succeed, and the boys would all be killed. Hitler said, “What else are they there for?”

          1. Darth Renardus says:

            Vi

            I vaguely recall that about Hitler. What a nice chap!

            Heard and Sparkles need to have Alcatraz opened up, just for them.

            Between them, they should have an excellent times being cell buddies.

            I’ll even be their gaoler! Lots of things to see and do in San Fran! I hear their annual kink parade is top notch! Plus I want to go to ‘The Stinking Rose’. An entire restaurant devoted to garlic.

          2. Violetta says:

            Ooooh, I LURVE garlic….

            Since March, when my sense of smell diminished, if I’m cutting raw garlic, I have to hold it up to my face to smell it 🙁

          3. Darth Renardus says:

            Vi

            We need to meet up (absolutely contrary to The Bosses restrictions, of course).

            Could be fun!

            A restaurant devoted entirely to garlic. Heaven!

          4. Violetta says:

            As NA would put it:

            What a horrible idea. What time?

  10. mollyb5 says:

    She’s accusing him of the things she herself did to him ….Johnnie Depp does seem empathic and sensitive .

    1. Violetta says:

      Her efforts to destroy his career may have backfired. Now that ger allegations about Johnny Depp being the abuser are being discredited by one witness after another, many people are saying no one will ever cast her again.

      I don’t believe it. I foresee her having a thriving career in such projects as the following: 
      “Pirates of the Passion-Flower Motel,” “Fantastic Breasts & Where to Find Them,” “Sweeney’s Bod,”  “Ed’s Wood,” “Benny & Poon,” “21 Hump St.,” and of course, “Amber Does Doo-doo.”

      1. mollyb5 says:

        Haha. What kind of Narc is she ? If she’s shitting on his pillow and punching him ….Is she a lesser ?

        1. Bubbles 🍾 says:

          Dear mollyb5,
          Exactly
          I read where she also spits 😱
          Charming
          Luv Bubbles xx 😘

          1. mollyb5 says:

            Spitting to show disgust to put down the person who criticized her in her opinion

          2. Bubbles 🍾 says:

            Dear molly5,
            I read spitting is an assault and therefore classified as a crime
            I agree with you molly 5, totally disgusting act
            She’s definitely no lady
            Lesser ? absolutely
            Luv Bubbles xx 😘

        2. Darth Renardus says:

          Molly

          Unusual, this one is. Sorry! Cant help speaking like Yoda!

          Sounds like a Lee. Upper I’d say and most definitely a Som.

          1. Sweetest Perfection says:

            I think she is an ULBS (Upper Lesser Type B Somatic /Upper Lesser Bed Shitter). All somatics look like Dorian Gray to me: amazing outer shell, putrid inside. Once you see their inner decay you cannot unsee it.

          2. mollyb5 says:

            HG …how would a female friend witness her rage or fury ?

          3. HG Tudor says:

            Do you mean, how would Amber Heard´s fury manifest towards a NISS friend?

          4. mollyb5 says:

            Yes , HG. How would her fury be displayed , shown , manifest to NISS ?

          5. HG Tudor says:

            It depends on the circumstances and whether a facade is operated and whether the facade can withstand the need for control.

          6. Darth Renardus says:

            molly

            I’m thinking if one old ‘friend’. Female, MMS. They throw things. Or very quickly slap. Fury is there and it just snaps. Followed by the requisite AST.

            I know possibly two female Lee’s. Not friends. Both did the same thing. Their fury was ignited (by yours truly) and they kind of run at you, again wanting to slap. Both stopped before they reached their target. There was a crazed, manic look in their eye. Perhaps they weren’t Lee’s as they had the self-control to stop. Both are very stupid though.

            With my friend, I always put it down to a ‘white wine moment’, now I know differently.

            You know, its entirely possible, that a NISS would never see that side. Or not the worst bits.

  11. SMH says:

    Glad you wrote this, HG. I don’t usually follow celebrity stuff but I did believe Heard in 2016 when I read the WaPo piece. I’m sure many other women did too, so this will be instructive for a lot of people. Parts of it sounds like MM – the lady narc as UN ambassador, etc.

  12. Violetta says:

    I must take after my dad. The more I read about that self-righteous, slogan-spewing hypocrite, the more I want to beat the shit out of her myself.

  13. Pamela says:

    Both Johnny Depp and Amber Heard exhibit drug induced psychosis and dysfunction.

    1. Darth Renardus says:

      Evecept, not really, the ever fragrant Pamela.

  14. Caroline says:

    Hello HG Tudor,

    I really enjoyed reading that fascinating analysis. It was so comprehensive and reminded me in many ways of another celebrity and ongoing Narcissist/Empathic relationship, currently in the papers each and everyday.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you.

  15. truthseeker6157 says:

    I read this a week or so ago, then the telephone analysis. I find these articles incredibly helpful. I imagine they take a while to put together too. They are well worth your time.

    It reminds me of the Narc Detector Consult. Taking the information I provided and analysing it in a completely removed and logical way. Then explaining the result in the same fashion.
    When we are in the thick of the confusion and the upset, I think we still are able to recognise the logic and the certainty of someone else, particularly when it is broken down in the way you do here in the article. It’s a perfect approach, even though we might not want to hear the news.

    At some point, I will look back at so many of my interactions with the narcissist and I too will break them down just like you do here. Objective, logical and without emotion. Then I will know, I’m ok again.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Well stated, that is the approach of logic.

  16. Neha Sharma says:

    Brilliant observation hg

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you.

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