The Love Triangle



Triangulation is a devastating weapon in our arsenal. Whether we are triangulating you as our primary source with another potential love interest (real or imagined), you with family and friends in terms of loyalties and spending time together or even triangulating you with an object (our mobile ‘phone or our flash new car) you will always be triangulated when you entangle with our kind.

Triangulation comes in many guises but has two broad categories. Firstly, there is the triangulation which is taking place but you do not even witness it. This is where we may be conducting an affair behind your back and you have no knowledge of it at all. This is still triangulation because we are involving three people in our intimate relationship but you do not witness it and the third party may not know about you either. The second category is where you witness the behaviour.

For instance, we spend more time jabbing our mobile ‘phone and talking on it than spending time with you. We may make mention of a particular person (usually of the opposite sex) a lot of the time. We may even tell you that we have been carrying on with someone else because you do not show us enough admiration and appreciation. In such instances, you witness the triangulating behaviour but often you will not actually realise that it is taking place.

This is hiding in plain sight. You dismiss it by trying to convince yourself that there is nothing to be concerned about or we may assuage your fears through our usual charm and persuasion. One thing that you can be assured of however is that you will be triangulated during your entanglement with us and it will not just happen the once.

This reliance on triangulation as part of our manipulations is because it is so effective at achieving many things for us. What then, does triangulation achieve?

–         It is often easy to implement, e.g. making mention of someone, spending our time playing video games, meeting someone frequently, perking up when a certain person calls round or telephones;

–         We gain fuel from two sources out of the same circumstances;

–         It underlines our notion of omnipotence since we are able to orchestrate the actions of two people so they compete with one another over us, we are the puppet master jerking the strings of two love rivals;

–          It creates uncertainty in one or more of the parties which makes it easier for us to exert control and harder for the party or parties to see clearly;

–         It causes the participants to focus on defeating one another in order to win us as the prize and thus they do not realise that we are really the problem;

–         It allows a discarded primary source to be smeared with ease;

–         It assists the maintenance of our façade.

Accordingly, the act of triangulation serves many purposes which accord with our malevolent agenda.

Why then is it so effective? Again, there are several reasons behind this.

–         The addictive quality of our seduction and the golden period is so powerful that it is truly regarded as a prize worth winning;

–         The fear of losing someone so (apparently) wonderful, loving and magnificent is too great to bear;

–         The fear that someone else might actually succeed with the relationship when you are trying to reach that point. You do not want someone to reap the reward of your hard work and instead you want to win the day, continue to deal with the hardships in order to restore the golden period;

–         You feel that you know us far better than the other person;

–         You feel that it is your right. You have given everything to the relationship and therefore it is only just and fair that you get to have the relationship. You may have borne our children, helped us through difficulties, lent us money, housed us, dealt with problems for us and you are damned if some Jane-Come-Lately is going to profit from all your hard work.

These are all valid factors as to why the act of triangulation is so powerful and an effective. Yet, let me provide you with another reason, one which is possibly just as powerful as the addictive quality of the golden period. That reason is conditioning.

You are conditioned to think that love triangles are not only fairly common and something that is part of life, but you have been conditioned to think that they are actually rather wonderful and special. This may seem somewhat perverted thinking when you consider the agony and anxiety you experienced or you are experiencing when you are being triangulated, especially with a love rival, but it is a fact. Why is the love triangle scenario seen as something wonderful?

–         It gives you the opportunity to prove you love us better and deeper than anybody else and with that comes a powerful sense of self and validation;

–         It accords with your belief in the maxim that love can conquer all. You are a love devotee and therefore you believe in and want to see love triumph. When your love sees off a rival, that is the power of true love.

–         The love rival is the enemy. This just isn’t you against her in order to win our hearts, it is light versus darkness, good against evil, love versus lust. You are a representative of the powers of light and goodness and you will overcome your dark nemesis. Of course, what you do not realise at the time is that the person you are fighting over is actually your nemesis and we are not going to remove that notion from you.

–         It is actually pretty damn hot and exciting. Your senses are alive, you are going to keep our heart/win it back, the tug-of-love although worrying at times also provides you with high-octane excitement, the rush of adrenaline when you score a victory, the elation at seeing us choose to spend time with you and not the other person. This back and forth, push and pull, is regarded as thrilling.

Why then are you conditioned to think and feel in the ways that I have described? Simple. You are surrounded by love triangles. They are throughout history, they are in film, in literature, you see them in the celebrity gossip sections of newspapers, they are commented on in internet forums, they feature on the news, you watch them unfold in soap operas on television and you bought the t-shirt supporting Team Jacob or Team Edward. Or was it Peeta or Gale?

You cannot get through the day without seeing or hearing about some kind of love triangle and it is always portrayed in a salacious, exciting, mesmerising and romantic way. Who will triumph? How noble to fight over one person’s heart? However much you may not want to admit it, you know that the concept of a love triangle is alluring and fascinating. You do not often hear somebody declare,

“All three people need to take a long look at themselves, stay away from another and evaluate what is really going on before they continue to hurt themselves and others.”

Of course you don’t. Where is the excitement in that?

You have been fed a daily diet of triangulation throughout your life so you actually regard it as something to be expected and something that excites. In order to prove this point, I have compiled, off the top of my head, as many love triangles as I could think of in literature, film and real-life in just five minutes. Consider the following: –



Twelfth Night, Dr Zhivago, Dangerous Liaisons, Tale of Two Cities, Lolita, The Great Gatsby, Atonement, The Talented Mr Ripley, Don Quixote, The Count of Monte Cristo, The Age of Innocence, The Phantom of the Opera, The Twilight Saga, The Hunger Games Trilogy, Harry Potter and my favourite Wuthering Heights




Gone With the Wind, Casablanca, His Girl Friday, The Graduate, Oklahoma! Damage, Titanic, Bridget Jones, Closer, Vanilla Sky, Sabrina, Grifters, She’s The Man (Twelfth Night), Indecent Proposal, Being John Malkovich, Fight Club (imagine being triangulated by an imaginary person created by yourself!)


Real Life


Cleopatra, Mark Antony and Julius Caesar (which actually went further as Mark Antony had two wives already)

Helen of Sparta, Menelaus and Paris of Troy 

Meg Ryan, Dennis Quaid and Russell Crowe

Bill Clinton, Hilary Clinton and Monica Lewinsky

Liz Taylor, Richard Burton and Eddie Fisher (Taylor and Burton met whilst filming Cleopatra – triangles within triangles!)

Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattison and Rubert Sanders (not only did Sanders also have a wife and kids but Stewart seemingly though her fictional triangulation was not enough and wanted a real-life version too!)

I would be interested to know if you think that any of our kind exist in those love triangles and who it is.

I am sure you can think of many others and please do make those suggestions. This is what I came up with in a short time and it does not end there. You are triangulated by products and advertisers – are you an Xbox player or PlayStation, red or brown sauce on your bacon sandwich, Pepsi or Coca-Cola – on it goes. With such a backdrop of triangulation across society, thrust in your face every day you are consequently conditioned in the way that I have described. You have no chance but to be affected in this way. Accordingly, when our kind comes along, the master practitioners of triangulation, you do not stand a chance.

9 thoughts on “The Love Triangle

  1. Another Cat says:

    Very thorough description HG.
    Wish I’d known this earlier in life.

    Maybe Monica Lewinsky is also a narc (very wordsallady at times), so that all 3 in that equation were Ns. (I used to feel for both those women, at the same thinking that Bill is empathic. I was had.)

    And Lady Gaga, Irina & Bradley Cooper,

    suspect all 6 I mentioned here are narcs.
    Full saga.

  2. Liza says:

    the worst part of triangulation for me was actually felt after we broke up, and to be honest i inflected it to myself in some manner.

    when we were together, i never doubted him, i never saw him flirt or even pay attention to any other girl, he was verry good at playing the “i have eyes only for you ” act.

    But since my replacement and me live in the same area of the city, i saw her many times in cafes, store ext… and the thing is, she seemed to be free, i often saw her with boys, she seems allowed to talk to whomever she wanted whenever she wanted, and most importantly she was doing things with others while he wasn’t around and even when i see them toghether she seemed relaxed she didn’t seem worried, and all those things i wasn’t “allowed” to do them. Boys can’t talk to me whitout having him interfer and sometimes he just tells people to not talk to me, if i go out with others whtout him he will sulk after and before, and when he is around he sticks to me like a shadow i would be restless all the time.

    Objectively, i know that maybe i don’t see evrything or she is just better than me at putting a good front, but i couldn’t help but feel verry angry at myself, since i know that love has nothing to do with his actions, i spend alot of time feeling stupid and thinking that he was like that with me because may be he thought of me as weak and esay to contol while she was considered strong and he gav up on the idea of controlling her.

  3. lickemtomorrow says:

    OMG, triangulation … I want to kill somebody and I also want to die!

    My worst phucking nightmare and almost every word you say is true.

    I hate that I got suckered into this so many times, but I’ve also written about it which makes me a love devotee …

    I’m team Peeta, btw, and I don’t think Gale was a narc. Peeta was the Yin to Katniss’s Yan. I’ve worked it all out in my head, this relationship dynamic. The untangling via the story was captivating to me.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You can fuck the Hunger Games rubbish sky high! That is Battle Royale with cheese.

      1. fox says:

        I almost spit out my coffee with that one, well done HG. (And agreed).

        1. HG Tudor says:


      2. lickemtomorrow says:

        Oh no, never! Why do you think it was rubbish? (Apart from being Battle Royale with cheese …)

        This story reached deep into my soul. I even have a tattoo dedicated to the HG (haha, see what I did there?)

        Let’s see if we can relate this back to narcissism.

        President Snow was a narcissist. Katniss Everdeen was his nemesis.

        She called him out, refused to play his games, and he was toppled.

        What we see in the Hunger Games are the ‘moves and countermoves’ implemented by both the narcissist and his nemesis. It was enthralling to me. And told a very true story. One, I would think, any empath could relate to when confronted with the power of the narcissist to manipulate in order to control.

        When it comes to the triangulated relationship, it also tells a true story. Caught between two loves.

        Katniss did not design the triangulation. President Snow did.

        So, we can excuse any of the triangulated parties from setting it up and being narcissists.

        There. You have my considered answer to the issue of triangulation in the Hunger Games.

        I won’t back down on this one 😉

        1. HG Tudor says:

          It blatantly ripped off Battle Royale and then did so in such a cheesy, contrived manner. No more needs to be stated.

          1. lickemtomorrow says:

            I haven’t seen Battle Royale, but had heard of it and looked it up online today.

            (Not everything is about narcissism ;))

            Anyway, the minute I read what it was about I thought “surely this is a rip off”.

            Then I found a comparison piece on both stories to see what, if any, the differences might be.

            Here you go:


            Having said that, and having read more about Battle Royale, I can see where someone could have a very different opinion to mine. So, I will shut up now.

            Oh, just before I do, this is my tattoo 🙂


Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.