A Letter to the Narcissist – No. 12

 

Is your soul still stuck on the rat wheel you can’t get off, where there is a new beginning at 12 o’clock and by 6 o’clock the disappointment and devaluation begins, disengaged by 11 o’clock and it all starts again…………..and so on, and so on , constantly reinventing yourself using pieces of them all  ………

 

A never ending circle of lie after lie, sexual encounter after encounter…………………you have no full time job as quite frankly – who would employ YOU with your history?!  Do you not realise the professional sector you are in people actually talk to each other and know about this side of you?  They see the stupid, childish, self centred posts you publically put on your social media – because of course it is open for all to see.  Why would you breath, exist, do anything if there was nobody to watch?  What would be the point?

 

How is your harem of women on your social media darling?  I know you blocked me but yes, I stalk it sometimes just to see the new additions – nearly always single young mothers; grateful for a little attention.   I laugh and think ‘really?’ at some – but I know you have no long term (or even short term) plans for any of them.  I actually don’t get how you attract younger women – it has to be the 1am, 2am chats you hold when you wake them and ask what they are wearing and to send a photo of themselves as you send one of you.   And you then proceed to talk sexually in a most descriptive manner, trying to find boundaries so you know where to push at a later date.  Yes, you will target these and celebrate running through them.

 

I hate how you treated me.  I divorced so fast for YOU, moved my ex out for YOU, so we could be seen out and about together.  After all, the reason you told me we had to stay behind closed doors was because I wasn’t yet divorced, then my ex hadn’t yet moved out, then……………no more excuses, so you started the discard.   Then you suddenly withdrew that wonderful fantastic athletic sex, suddenly, all stopped.   Then let down arrangements one after another.  Then you went on holiday and with a woman I am sure of it, which was months ago now – but still…………………the daily text or sometimes texts….planting yourself into my mind.

 

And I also hate myself.   I hate that I loved you so much, I hate that I can’t breathe if I don’t receive that text, I hate thinking how intense sex was with you,  I hate seeing your comments to other women how hot they are and WOW !  I HATE THAT.

 

When I ask you about anyone – you lie, I know far more about everything than you think I do.

 

I know about your past, before me – and it is quite shocking I have to say – and you would wither and die if everyone knew.     I know how you tick, and I make no issue of telling you just that.  How you need the attention (fuel) to exist.  The new fresh female in your life where it’s all potent………and then it dilutes, and onto the next.  Otherwise your depression sets in and you then post to all about that to gain sympathy and attention.  And of course it reminds you who you have on your shelves that you can go back to squeeze a bit more out of – or a quick shag whilst the kids are at school.

 

You disgust me, I hate you.     And I need to stop loving you.

 

I found out last week that you have been seeing an older well off lady in the next town – it started whilst you were still with me!  But – was I ever really with you?  You hid me away from everyone – nobody knew I existed.  Your Dirty Little Secret.   I think you are still seeing her – but at what stage the narc cycle is at, I do not know.  But I told you I knew about her – and watched you panic over txt.   You denied it of course!  You wanted to know who? How? When? I knew………..NO I AM NOT TELLING YOU.  ‘Tell me’ you said – NO.

 

You are so fearful of me exposing this – will I message her?  Will I visit her? Will I put a public post out about it? Or shall I just message the harem and teach them all about your antics.  What a scandal that would be…………..!

 

I can’t tell you how much I want to meet someone that takes my thoughts from you, I hate that I think about you all the time – affecting my job and my life as a whole.  I now live alone and have all that thinking time.

 

I am smarter than you – and by god you know it.  I am always ahead of you and I have recently removed emotion from my digs and our conversations.  It’s amazing how much I run rings around you without that key thing.

 

I will win, because I am now winning.  You will always be a Mid-Ranger Narcissist, as always – never good enough to be the best at anything you do!

Annabelle

To write what you want to tell the narcissist, without breaching no contact s ubmit your letter to the narcissist to narcissist1909@gmail.com and send  it  to me, rather than to the narcissist .

 

8 thoughts on “A Letter to the Narcissist – No. 12

  1. Asp Emp says:

    “I hate that I loved you so much” I felt like that for a long time (months). God, it was difficult.

    I think I am now winning, with the LT MUCH improved and the ET has gone down (but not enough, as yet, it’s still early days).

    Write to you, HG, rather than the narcissist themselves? That’s a great suggestion, and also obtain the experiences from (new or existing) victims to help them ‘off-load’ as well as listening to the victims. I think I am now beyond that stage. I have the Addiction Package to hand, should the need arise.

  2. Leela says:

    What a great idea! I love it!

    1. lickemtomorrow says:

      Absolutely agree, Leela, and kudos to Annabelle and No.11 who were so willing to share.

      It helps to know you’re not alone, even if our stories are somewhat different.

      Is there a place we can find 1-10 HG, or will you post those when you are ready?

      1. HG Tudor says:

        Hmm, what’s it called again, oh yes “the search function”.

        1. lickemtomorrow says:

          LOL, HG. I forget it’s there sometimes!

          Good O, thanks 🙂

  3. lickemtomorrow says:

    What a great idea and wonderful opportunity, HG. I’m guessing it can be to any narcissist in our lives (i.e. parent, partner, friend, etc)?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Yes.

      1. lickemtomorrow says:

        Thank you, HG.

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