I Love You (And I Always Have)



This is a well-used phrase by our kind and is wheeled out with regularity during love-bombing. At face value and of course that is how you will take it because you are in the midst of a veritable whirlwind of compliments, flattery and passion, this seems a straight forward enough comment to make.

However there is far more to it than meets the eye. Just as we operate from a different perspective to you, we also utilise language in a different way and one of the key ways of tackling our kind is to understand what we are REALLY saying when we use these delicious phrases and appealing comments.

So, what do my kind really mean when we say “I love you and I always have”?

My need to seduce you is considerable and therefore I will use language which will appeal to you and be so outlandish that it will blow you away. I do not actually love you. I do not love in the way that you do. I understand that the closest I come to it is infatuation. I am not in fact infatuated with you but more precisely with what you can do for me.

My needs are paramount. Yours are largely irrelevant. I write irrelevant because I do take them into account during the seduction but after that they are thrown to one side, but that is something different and not the purpose of explaining what I mean when I say the above phrase to you.

I say I love you and mean I am infatuated with you. I am infatuated with three things that you will give me through my successful seduction of you.

  1. Fuel, the most important item;
  2. Useful traits which I can apply to my construct and parade as my own achievement, characteristics and accomplishments to make me appear even more attractive to you and other people (and thus get more fuel); and
  3. Residual benefits such as a roof over my head or getting you to pay for things.

I want those three things. I want the fuel most of all but the other two matter as well. To get those things I need to seduce you. To seduce you I need to say things like this, grand statements which will amaze you and sweep you off your feet. Why will it have this effect? Well, because you are a love devotee. As an empathic individual one of your traits is that you are a love devotee.

This means you belief very much in the concept of love, how love is wonderful, how love can conquer all, how love crosses any boundary and love is amazing, splendid and the best thing in the world. I know you are a love devotee because I have studied you before I approached you. With this knowledge I know that making a statement like the one above will resonate with you considerably for the following reasons: –

  1. As a believer in love you want to hear that someone loves you;
  2. You want this love to be grand, sweeping and extraordinary. By explaining that I have always been in love with you, I achieve this. It is a statement which conjures up images in your mind’s eye of me waiting for years before I picked my moment to tell you, of me sitting with my love burning away and how you have never noticed. It appeals to you to think in such terms. It is romantic and glorious.
  3. I will have plausibility on my side. I may know you already as we may be friends or colleagues. I may be a neighbour. I may be your therapist even. If I do not know you in detail, we may know each other by sight and the occasional hello from attending the same gym or such like. You may not know me but I will generate (fabricate) a back story that I have watched you from the coffee shop every day as you walk past (once I have established that you do so) and I have been in love with you. This plausibility overcomes any natural hesitance you may have. The immensity of the love factor in this statement will overcome any slight scepticism you may have, that having been eroded already by the plausibility.

Saying this statement is a direct shot at your heart and is part of the harpoon strike that we engage in when we are seducing a victim.

It is not true however. We have chased plenty of people before you. We may have only set eyes on your two days ago and we do not love in the manner that you do. Everything about this statement is false, it serves our purpose to seduce you and to do so quickly.


11 thoughts on “I Love You (And I Always Have)

  1. Leigh says:

    Mr. Tudor, in order to manipulate and control a victim, does a narcissist ever use the opposite approach and instead of saying “I love you”, they don’t say it? I would think that not saying it, would make the victim wonder why and make them work harder to hear those words. Do all narcissists love bomb or do some use the withdrawal of love to ensnare you?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Most narcissists love bomb in some form, which means when the “love” is withdrawn, the fall is all the harder for you.

  2. Asp Emp says:

    He “declared” his “love” within 3 weeks, far too quick. He laughed when I suggested to him at the time, that it seemed that he had an ‘obsession’ (in your article, the word ‘infatuation’ is used). He certainly made use of two of the Prime Aims (not the residual Prime Aim). I doubt that I would believe anyone saying those words in the future and meaning them.

  3. Hediyeh says:

    HG, why don’t you post on youtube, miss your voice

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Go in The Knowledge Vault and you will find a wealth of opportunities to listen to my voice.

  4. December Infinity says:

    Now this makes sense. I think the idea of love will take some time for me to accept in future. For many years it turns out that I was duped by the narcissistic construct of ‘conditional love’, the non-existent fake love that is/was based on what I have, own and can offer that can/would be taken from me. The love words may have been said but they weren’t meant and were usually accompanied at times by a contradictory action or a threat.

  5. Pamela says:

    I love you. You complete me.

    1. Violetta says:

      Well, you do love him, don’t you Pammy? Is your theme song Ron Gallo’s “Young Lady, You’re Scaring Me”?

      Remember that time you wrote me two hundred letters
      Never once to a single reply
      Remember they all referenced a love that wasn’t real
      Considering we talked maybe one or two times

      How are the 12 cats?

  6. Pamela says:

    How’s that working out for you. Hg?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Far better than your lawsuits Pamela, bwahahahahaha !

      1. Pamela says:

        *munches popcorn* Sure, pal.

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