When HG Met the Narcissists

H.G Tudor - When HG Met The Narcissists e-book cover

Gain knowledge, be entertained and help others!

Learn what happened when HG met a narcissist and dealt with him in this instructive encounter which will enable you to understand more of when narcissists collide but more importantly, when one comes up against The Ultra.

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11 thoughts on “When HG Met the Narcissists

  1. Renarde says:

    Oh this made me laugh! It really did.

    It’s not on the same level but occasionally bro and I would do the same thing to father. How we used to piss ourselves. The fury would ignite. The a AST would follow.

    A very funny story came from a close, male friend. One day, the group are all together and he regails this

    No one really got on with his overbearing mother (Dad lovely but a bit of a pushover). Four siblings, three lads. Who were a bloody handful. No question.

    My male friend is a bloody card. At the dinner table, he starts banging on about sex. In particular oral sex. Cunnlingus this fellatio that. All the boys join in.

    Narc mum is simmering.

    Quite what tipped her over escapes me. But over the edge she went.

    She suddenly stands up and announces in front of her entire family (including husband);

    ‘I HAVE NEVER GIVEN OR RECIEVED ORAL SEX!!!!’

    Talk about a forensic level of detail!

    Of course when we all heard this, I was pretty much about to piss myself, I was laughing so hard.

    My male friend was more than several handfuls. We were at an event. I watched his own brother attempt to remove his underwear whilst friend still had his trousers on.

    In the morning, he came into my room holding up his boxers saying, ‘Look what he did?’. Complete. Tatters.

    Talking about that. On my wedding day, on the way to the ‘altar’, I walked past him. The response? ‘Look at the tatters on that!. My bridesmaid and his partner angrily hissed at him. To this day, I dont know how I kept a straight face.

  2. Fieke says:

    Hello,

    Thank you, how nice of you. The comments on this blog are so moving and from the heart. How nice that people come here to find their way and help each other. I am also working really hard to understand what happend in my childhood, it was very good the first 7 years and I do feel a lot of strength from that, but very ‘lack of control’ the next 4. Than about 2 calm years after it went really bad from 13-18. It is like a big puzzle, going slowly, and to understand my preferences in dating ( and not to do it again and how) am I so greatfull to have found you all and this blog and the expert information of HG!

    It is a huge part of having a real chance to happiness with someone!

    So excited to find all this information, Netflix is asking me if I am okay.. LOL

  3. Asp Emp says:

    I enjoyed reading this when I obtained it a couple of months ago

  4. Truthseeker6157 says:

    I imagined this was my narcissist when I listened to it. It added an extra level of glee for me. I’ve often imagined HG taking down my narcissist on my behalf. I would love to see that interaction. Does that make me a bad empath? No. It makes me human.
    An excellent example of the Ultra’s dominance.

    1. lickemtomorrow says:

      I’d say a lot of us would like to see HG take our narcissist’s on, TS. It would be the ultimate revenge.

      Definitely a human response, but also one HG warns us not to entertain. He’s the only one who can meet fire with flame thrower 😉

      And dominant indeed.

  5. Fieke says:

    Dear HG Just Red it! Love to see you being able to deal with narcissists!
    I have to admit, having a dominant father I always felt attracted to that trait in men. Being even more dominant because that made me feel safe from him, protected. Not realizing I am choosing someone even worse… for me.. in the end.
    Best regards, Fieke

    1. lickemtomorrow says:

      Hi Fieke, you might be interested to read “Chained” as this will give you some further insight into how some empaths are drawn to narcissists for the reasons you describe. I have just completed it and like all HGs work it is a real eye opener. Welcome, btw.

      1. Fieke says:

        Thank you LmT! I will look into it, have been reading a lot of HG.
        Very helpful for me, and also the community here with the good tips.

        I secretly tip toed away from my narcissistic lover of 4 years (being not a IPPS! Ashamed to admit, because I am not , never was, that girl.) I wanted to leave for 2 years, but he always hoovered me back in, but my self-esteem just started to crumble and I disliked him more and more after each meet up. He use to threat me with breaking up, with made me do what he wanted, but two years ago, I told him, that would be a very good idea! And he never said it again, but I already lost that loving feeling when I told him that. have no idea why I never just went away, just feel like I am only now starting to see clear again.

        I haven’t seen him for 2 months now. Pretending being to busy and being sick. But never letting him know I didn’t feel like seeing him anymore always telling him “O No! bummer! I can not make it again, so sorry, felt like seeing you so much”.

        I feel like a narcissist myself, with the crap I tell him, I am giving him everything back he once gave me. But not on purpose, just happened. I want to give myself the change to detach first. In peace. At the point now that I turned him down so many times, that he asked me to message him when I have time. I promised… But not feeling like doing it, not wanting it anymore. I don’t know if I should tell him I am done, or just sneak out of it like this, painted white still.. But I just got the advice to GOSO, without warning. 🙂

        1. lickemtomorrow says:

          Hi Fieke, I appreciate you sharing more and I would say don’t be ashamed to have not been the IPPS. From what I understand narcissist’s will shuffle ‘appliances’ through their fuel matrix and you may actually be more fortunate not to have been made the IPPS in the circumstances, knowing now what he is and how he operates.

          Escape, of course, is the best option and you will get all the advice you need here to do that. I honestly think you would benefit from a consult with HG in order to help untangle some of your experience and get some solid rock beneath your feet, but in the meantime it sounds like you are doing the best you can to keep him at arm’s length having made the decision you’re ‘out’. As in ‘over and out’! Definitely headed in the right direction, but it’s those hoovers that keep dragging us back. And the unfortunate thing is the narc is going to keep applying them.

          I got hoovered a number of times, and I think the beginning of the end is when you realize what they are. Initially you don’t know you are being hoovered. You are in love, you want it to work out and you’ll do anything to make sure that happens. It makes sense to us, but we are not thinking like a narcissist. And it’s imperative to get the narcissistic perspective on these things. Once we understand what they are doing and why they are doing it, that they are only using us, it becomes a little bit easier to break away.

          Four years is a long time and so you must be patient with yourself as you navigate both the resources here and the opportunity to escape for good. My narc also threatened to leave a number of times in fits of fury, and I bounced between probably three options. OK, leave; questioning him about the veracity of his claim (why do you always say that?); only one time begging him to return, but the reality is he always came back. And the fact of the matter is he never ‘left’ in the first place. He was always just waiting around the corner, either taking some time to heal the injury I had caused him (probably by dallying with another/other women) or seeking to assert control over me. The threats of your narcissist sound like an assertion of control. And it doesn’t sound like you’re not falling for it anymore.

          Don’t worry about feeling like a narcissist. Many of us feel like that at times for various reasons, but I’d say in this case it’s probably around the issue of honesty. Empaths are big on trust and honesty. You will see HG say that here all the time. These things are important to us and that’s probably why you’re feeling the weight of any lie. I suggest you don’t feel bad, but get on with reading some more of HGs work. The narcissist does not deserve your sympathy. He has used you and is hoping to continue to do so.

          I think you’ve come to the right place, Fieke. You will find many benefits here and plenty of support. Keep up the good work and I’ll look forward to seeing more of your comments 🙂

          1. Fieke says:

            Hi LtM! Thank you so much for your sweet and specific response.
            Sorry I haven’t responded yet, there were so many responses and comments, this one fell under the radar. But I appreciate your response so much!

            It is true what you say. It is the hoovers that a am scared for, most of all, because I find it so hard to say NO. Even if I don’t want to. I feels so rude and impolite. And yes telling a lie is so hard, because the truth is always the first on my mind, so I feel like I am this terrible person, but also I just feel he knows when I lie, like maybe he can look in my computer (he is very smart with them and has a IT business) or my phone, or is tracking my car. I bought new products once ( computer phone and car) and denied him acces ( he wanted to go on them when I changed my phone and computer, wanted to ‘Parc’ my car for me) so I should be fine now LOL
            But I am a bit paranoia. He always seemed to know where I was and when, but he lives far away. Getting text when I was seeing someone somewhere going out.
            Now I am telling him the truth, I was sick and I am not feeling well, I had lots of stuff to do and I am doing soul searching ( because so stressed out by it all) and I do not want to see him, do not feel like doing our thing, I sad everything, except that I made it sound that it had nothing to with him, but more about my kid, corona, my personal stuff, and it is silent now.. I have naked stuff on him to so not to scared he will use mine, since his facade with family is sacred.
            Maybe it will be okay.. it feels okay. Not hearing from him no more.

            I just told HG I will be leaving less comments for a while LOL.. I have been over enthusiastic and every time I read on this blog so many questions come popping up. Silly ones that he must have heard so many times, or questions I can just google. Or big ones that he answered.I need to get my impulsively in check first ;)! And felt a bit ashamed.

            So I ordered a he pile of his books, and will start reading, and I will be back!

            Love Fieke

          2. lickemtomorrow says:

            Hi Fieke,

            In terms of resisting the narcissist’s hoovering, definitely the issue of being polite can get to us. We don’t want to be rude and it can sit heavy on us if we are because we don’t want to hurt others. That’s very empathic. And a good thing most of the time 🙂 Just not with a narcissist.

            Sounds like you’ve done all you can to make good your escape for now and hopefully he can’t track you down. The distance should help and I hope so.

            The questions do keep popping up here and HG, I’m sure, has heard many of them before, but I’ve never known him or anyone else to be impatient with questions. I’ve had a little huddle around me from time to time when I’ve had a moment of crisis and that can really help, too. Just to know someone has been through the same thing and can relate, plus help keep you on track. I also understand the need to take time to absorb the information, and it can be a little overwhelming at the start. You have a lot going on and a young child to care for as well. That in itself is demanding. Never mind adding the pandemic on top of that. It’s a lot.

            Take your time, Fieke, and we’ll still be here when you are ready to return <3

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