Dr E explained that he wanted to discuss with me the issue of regret.

“Have you ever regretted anything?” he asked.

“No,” I answered promptly.

“I see. What do you understand by regret?”

“It is a feeling of sadness or perhaps disappointment over something that you have done or failed to do.”

“When have you experienced that feeling?” he asked.

“I haven’t.”

“If I tell you that most people have regrets, which ones would you remember?”

“Which of their regrets would I remember?” I asked. He looked up at me over the top of his red and black note pad and raised his eyebrows.

“I haven’t had any,” I repeated.

“Why do you think that is?”

“Let me see. Probably because I have had nothing to express regret about. The absence of something tends to be the reason why you have not something, wouldn’t you agree?”

“Okay. Now in your many explanations to me you have explained some of the things that you have done. Yes,” he noticed I was going to interrupt him but he kept going, “I know you detailed those at my behest and I appreciate you sharing that information with me. Those acts of commission and omission led to people feeling angry with you, hurt and upset. Would you agree?”

I nodded.

“Okay. Now I would suggest that one might feel regret at having caused those people to feel that way. Would you agree?”

“You might feel a sense of regret Dr E but I do not.”

“Why is that?”

“Why to which part? Why you might feel a sense of regret or why I do not?”

If he was irritated by my pedantry he was not showing it.

“The latter.”

“Because I am not at fault. In all those instances it is the other person’s fault.”

“How about some examples?”

“Okay. Kate’s dog went missing. Do you remember me telling you about that?” He nodded. “If she had cared for it properly and given me the attention I deserve it would not have been lost. Christopher who was fired from his position, he was incompetent. Emily kept asking me the wrong questions so that is why she was treated in that way. Sophie kept asking me what I was thinking so that is why I lost my temper and smashed her television. As for Paula, she was late so I walked off and left her to find her own way home. Do you want me to go on?”

“No, that is sufficient.”

“If people tried harder, if they were more thoughtful then this would not happen. I can do it so why not they? I will tell you why. They become weak and complacent. They think that they can not invest any energy into our relationship, whether intimate or not, any longer. If you do not feed something it will wither and die. They brought it on themselves and they are the ones at fault. My reaction was perfectly natural. I was entitled to respond the way I did. They cannot judge me, they have no jurisdiction to do so, certainly not when they let me down every single time.  They bring it on themselves with their weakness and their whining, their reluctance to do what is needed, what I need. It sickens me doctor, it truly sickens me. Have you any idea how difficult it is to find someone who retains my interest, someone scintillating enough to match my brilliance? It is impossible. I try Dr E, I bloody well try to I offer them the world in the hope that just this once they will match my expectations and not let me down. It always happens. I am always let down. She did it the first time and then it happened again and now it is repeated. Why? What did I do that was so wrong to deserve being treated like this? I regret nothing doctor because nothing is my fault.”

13 thoughts on “Regrets

  1. Cup Cakes says:

    Lots of regrets.

  2. Eternity says:

    HG, you dont have any regrets because it is never your fault, and you find someone else to blame for mistakes that have been made?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      I do not have any regrets because everything I do is the right thing to do.

      1. Eternity says:

        Of course I understand you are afterall HG.

      2. Truthseeker6157 says:

        Hi Eternity,

        HG’s perspective is centred around the Prime Aims. So from his perspective, whatever he has done or will do will be deemed as necessary or the effective thing to do. Therefore, no regrets.

        I’ve chatted with an Eternity before, different Avatar though. I’m not sure if you are the same Eternity or not!

        1. Eternity says:

          Hi Truthseeker,

          You are right I keep forgetting that the Narcissist always has a different perspective than us. It’s just hard to except it sometimes, but we have to in order to understand Narcissism better . Being involved with a Narcissist made me blind to see it . But achieving Freedom is the best feeling in the world .

          I have commented on another post before on Word Press,but pretty much only here.

          Take care xoxo

      3. Witch says:

        From your perspective of course
        From mine being excessively jealous over a dog to the point you risk he/she’s life and have an affair with your GF’s sister is one of the most pathetic things I have ever second hand witnessed. All of this drama over a dog? It’s perfectly understandable why your GF would hug her dog first thing while entering her house because the dog is likely to have greeted her first and the dog would have triggered her maternal instincts. Did you want to be on the same level as the dog? Maybe she should have trained you to sit with treats and walked you on a leash and patted your head and baby talked to you when she first walked into the house too? It’s – a – dog!
        You’re an intelligent guy HG but damn, a narc is a narc is a narc

  3. Crystal Empath says:

    If I was explaining this as my own perspective, reading this back I would regret it, if not as I feel that I had naturally not done anything to others that is “wrong”, simply as I continued to invest time in others that are incapable of any kind of relationship or interaction that I truly desire from them. The fact that I continue to bother with others when I know better, as they simply cannot provide me what I want and need most. I would regret anything that I invest of myself with others when I know the outcome will be inevitable. The definition of insanity, apparently, is doing the same thing repeatedly (or a version of it) and expecting a different result, which seems to be what is happening here. The practice itself is regrettable.

    It almost seems as regrettable as any empath expecting to have a healthy, boundaried relationship with a narcissist. Something, you taught me better than anyone.

  4. Asp Emp says:

    Well, I suppose the Drs are asking these sort of questions to ADD to THEIR learning. Then your’e sharing this with us.

    1. Fieke says:

      🙂 lol… narcissistic thinking is very persistent..

      More serious, thank you HG for the insight in the mind of a..

      But why does a narcissist think it is anyone else’s job to meet your expectations?
      I understand that a child deserves care, love and protection, and this let down is their responsibility and they are accountable for that.
      Is that it, not having outgrown that fase of (rightfully!) being entitled to that parental care projected on everyone else?
      Is it that young child demanding care and love and attention that never got it, and for that, never developed out of this emotional fase?

      Best regards Fieke!

      1. HG Tudor says:

        1. Grandiosity, sense of entitlement, the need to assert control.
        2. No, it is not a case of not having outgrown it, but rather it has continued through the appearance of the narcissism.
        3. An absence of love and attention may contribute to a lack of control environment which is one half of the equation for the creation of a narcissist, but it is not an emotional phase which the narcissist has failed to grow out of. I can understand that it seems that way, but it is not.

        1. Fieke says:

          Thank you for answering! Trying to grasp it.. the continuation of that, once justified , phase of demanding attention love and care into narcissism. That means it is not the same anymore, but has altered.

          1. Violetta says:

            At some point, they can’t accept love and care when they do find it. They just want attention. They will manipulate love and care to get the attention, but it’s very tiresome for them. We ought to be giving them our attention without all that!

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