MatriNarc
Both Dr O and Dr E (the good doctors) repeatedly like to ask me about my childhood. I do not like to talk about it. I tell them that I do not like to and the reason for that is that I do not remember much about it and therefore I feel uncomfortable talking about something which I do not feel in control of. Everyone is like that though aren’t they? If you are making a presentation but you only have half the material, you feel uncomfortable don’t you? I you are asked a question by somebody but you do not have all the information to hand, you feel uneasy. I explained that was my response and that it was an entirely understandable one. I’m not telling them the real reason behind my recalcitrance. Not a chance.
Unfortunately, Dr O then gets the bit between her teeth in one of our sessions and decides she would like to talk to me about family.
“Who has pinched your bagel this week then? Your brother or your sister?” I shot back seeking to deflect her. She ignored my remark and pressed on.
“Is there anybody in your immediate family you would like to discuss with me?” she asked.
“No.”
“Why?”
Where do I start ? Why would I want to talk about people I rarely bother with (save my brother)? Why is it that these people assume that I have some overriding desire to discuss a group of people who I am related to but have nothing in common with? What is the obsession?
I remained silent.
“Okay, how about I choose a family member and you tell me three things that you like about them and three things that you do not like about them. Just as something to start our conversation?” she suggested.
I remained silent.
“How about your mother?” she asked and looked at me expectantly.
I got up and left the room. I’m not playing that game with Dr O. No way.
8 thoughts on “MatriNarc”
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HG, You have commented on the personality type of your Mother. Your Father. Is he an Empath by any chance? Thank you HG. 💗
He was an empath.
If I may ask, what school and cadre?
This was only a snippet of one session so this may not be a fair assessment, however it seems like Dr O was being manipulative. Kind of trying to slip her way into what she wanted. Asking but not really “asking” she had an agenda. “Do you want to talk about your family” You said NO. DUH… She wanted to talk about your mother. Why did she not just ask you straight out to talk about your mother. Clients are not stupid even if you come at it in a roundabout way and they go where you want them to .They will only resent you when it is over feeling violated. You said no..she could have been more honest and made a deal with you. You wanted to talk about your sex life with her and she wanted to talk about your mother. Win/Win. If you said no deal, she would have gotten the same result. In your mind you took control by waking out, but she pushed your buttons and triggered you which made you react strongly enough to walk out. If you just said “the answer is no I am not going to talk about that change the subject” she would have had to change her agenda. Now that would have been control. She probably wrote in her notes client has mommy issue (more professional of course) and lost control and left the session…Ask her to read the notes from that session …see what she wrote . You have the right to read their notes.
Does the narcissism reject all memories from “before” the narcissism was developed?
I told my husband about my earlier memories from 4 and 5 years old and he couldn’t understand how I can remember things from such an early age. I asked him from what age is his earliest memories and he said from 9 or 10 years. For remberering you told that the narcissism is normally developed in this age this question arised!
Why? Could that be the root cause of all this? When the seed got planted and watered?
Seriously HG, I know you said you have to go to these two, but my goodness, talk about wasting time that you’ll never get back. You deserve better HG. Or at least find someone on your equal footing. 💗
My comment on this article on : October 18, 2020
“I can totally understand and relate to this. I would have reacted the same way – walked out, no discussion, end of. That part of my life is in the past and will stay there”.
I can talk about ‘mother’ on this blog yet I would not have discussed it with a therapist who may not actually have knowledge about narcissism and / or experienced abuse themselves.