I just listened to it. ‘Do Empaths Exist?’ I loved it. It was perfectly explained, perfectly delivered. I actually feel quite emotional. You got us so very right. Thank you for taking the time to put together such a comprehensive video all about us.
I would hug you if you weren’t a narcissistic psychopath! Instead, *nods*
TS, I’d hug him. I hug friends or people I have known ie more than 15 years (even if not a friend friend) – you don’t always know what people are. I’m too nice 🙂
HG doesn’t like hugs though Asp. If he allowed a hug it would be a manipulation. If I nod from across the room, HG understands what I’m meaning but has no need to reciprocate, therefore no need to assert control through manipulation.
Trust you to ‘know a song about that’! Ha ha! That is going to be stuck in my head all day now too!
I read your comment below. It is scary when you look back on your past with fresh eyes. I think I sidestepped narcs for the most part but Love of My Life Guy had three close friends who I strongly suspect as narcissists.
It was a classic narc pattern.
Frenemyy even ran a smear campaign on me when we were on the outs: threatened me, claimed I owed her things I had never received either as gifts or loans, got a guy she had introduced me to at the skate rink (probably a runner-up for her, of course) to call and say we were breaking up. I made the mistake of asking why, so he could rip into me in terms she had undoubtedly prepared, but at least my 1st reaction was priceless: I said, “I didn’t know we were going steady.” (Hey, I was 13.)
Thank God she didn’t go to our school. Only a few people knew or card who she was. Unfortunately, one was Crushboy. He had been dating a friend of mine when he and Frenemy were off, and she promptly dismissed my friend as “a whore.” In retrospect, at least my friend didn’t, AFAIK, make out with other people’s boyfriends in the middle of the living room at parties.
Oh, if I could talk to my 13-year-old self! Actually, no, I wouldn’t listen, but if I could snuggle back some of HG’s work and I READ the list in Red Flag….
I didn’t even realise I was doing that until you mentioned it! I appreciate names can be chosen for a reason, I didn’t mean to amend yours. Sorry Asp Emp! Xx
Teenage girls can be difficult but that to me is way outside the normal range. I think you’re right. Reading HG’s work is very much like an awakening. I have also been re examining my relationships and Love of My Life guy is an interesting one.
Three of his friends made horrendous passes at me. One was on the way home from a party. James ( the friend) lived in my direction. He had a driver. I was in the back of the car with James (13 yrs older than me, I was still at uni, they all had their own businesses). One minute we were chatting, the next his hand is sliding up my leg. I removed his hand, tried to laugh it off, offered a get out of jail free card saying he was drunk and to behave himself.
He replaced his hand, leaned in so I was squished against the car door. I pushed him back hard and said, “Driver, stop the car.” The driver looked at me in his mirror, glanced then at James. So I instantly repeated, cold, firmly, “Stop the car. Now. “
He pulled over. James protested I had misunderstood. I didn’t speak to him, I didn’t look at him. I got out and didn’t slam the door, (which I find odd) calmly started walking home. I had about a ten minute walk, bit longer maybe.
Sense of entitlement, boundary violation, objectification. Lack of accountability. The markers are definitely there.
Another of his friends locked the door of an internal hallway leading from a restroom in a restaurant. I exited the restroom, he literally grabbed me, pinned me against the door and shoved his tongue down my throat. His pregnant fiancé was still seated at the table in the restaurant, we were celebrating my boyfriend’s birthday that evening. Unbelievable when you think about it. The third friend was more subtle. I don’t know if these friends increase the chances that Love of My Life Guy was a narcissist or if it’s irrelevant.
If asked to do a Narc Detector on him, I honestly wouldn’t know what to say on it. That to me is a fairly key indicator in itself that he wasn’t a narcissist.
So yes, when we look back carefully, bloody narcs everywhere!
Spread the word. I have friends who’ve been fucked over personally and/or professionally, and I’m giving them the appropriate reading materials for their situations. That’s helping them and showing gratitude to HG by demonstrating the quality of his work.
Btw, I finally started reading Red Flag, and holy shit if my Frenemy from Jr. High didn’t run a narc seduction on me. In the days before email and texting, she would call me or have me call her at least once a day and spend hours on the phone (until my parents rather generously limited it to half an hour after they caught me playing an album over the phone). My parents (and I) dismissed it as some weird teenage thing, but none of my other (limited number of) friends acted like that. She’d have someone over at her place on be on the phone to me, but she’d also occasionally have me over to her place and be on the phone to someone else–triangulating us both. I remember thinking this was poor manners and guiltily suppressing the thought, as I did my suspicions when she publicly made out with someone else’s then-boyfriend in the middle of the living room at a party. (I later had my 1st make-out session with the same boy– he was a big crush for many that year–in someone’s bedroom, and was disgusted when someone walked in, claiming to be looking for cigarettes. The door had a weird locking system involving twisting the doorknob that I couldn’t figure out, but I didn’t want to share this with anybody but Crushboy.)
Of course I was flattered by her attention: why would a girl a year older (who was in a different school system where her grade was already high school) and Kewler bother with a little dweeb like me?
Painfully clear why now. The hero-worship (better yet, envy) of a naive little dweeb was exactly what she needed. Someone older and Kewler wouldn’t bother with her shit.
Sam V
Made a video on twin flames a day ago lol! And is still trying to undermine empaths, by saying they are “covert narcissists”
So he’s baited himself out that he’s been preeing HG’s YouTube channel
Actually Witch, you could be on to something there.
What about if ‘Empaths Are Covert Narcissists’ was given the Tudor Treatment? Empaths everywhere would stand up and applaud. The video would be brilliant, because well, it’s HG. The bonus is that SV takes a direct hit from the Tudor Camp.
I’m enjoying his video “how I experience my narcissism”
It’s obvious he has taken certain ideas from HG which are making his content better.
I’m not sure if he knows empaths exist but are denying it as part of his manipulation or he really doesn’t think/or want to recognise that we exist?
He did ask “do you feel empathy for a raccoon?” When trying to explain the narcissists lack of empathy… and it’s like, “yes, yes us empaths do feel empathy for raccoons!” 😆
I’ve thought more about it, and I believe he resents female empaths in particular and this why he is denying our existence. He said he is “scared of women” because all women have hurt him including his mother.
He is jealous of us because we know who we are and he has no core personality aside from the narcissism and because he is acutely aware of this, our “shine” threatens his control.
It seems he is also envious of our relationship with raccoons 😆
He wants to know why!? Why do we feed the vermin!!? Why!?
I saw your comment so I listened to the video. It’s different in that its more personal. Or it’s an attempt at being personal. What concerned me more was my response to it. I didn’t feel anything at all. No sympathy, no empathy for his situation, nothing at all.
I interpreted it as a drawn out pity play ‘ My health is failing. I don’t have long.’ Someone playing at feeling sad. Personally, I don’t believe he feels sad. I believe he feels empty, I believe he might feel lost at times. I did not get an emotional read of ‘sad’.
I watched him closely, I listened carefully, I felt nothing for him at all. You would expect me to feel something. I would expect me to feel something. Honestly, no emotional reaction. Why?
@TS
Yes it was a pity play lol
But it also provides some insight into how cerebrals think and act.
I did feel empathy for his childhood and I always do and will with narcs. I compartmentalise the child from the adult because the child is still for the most part helpless and is still developing their personality. A child in a narc infested home is powerless and has no voice.
I agree that he is either confusing emptiness with sadness or he is aware he feels emptiness but he is describing it as sadness in order to get empathy from his listeners.
I have wondered if he is a lower greater?
The raccoon question indicates a lack of complete understanding of empathy and how it works for non-narcissists.
It could be that his sense of superiority leads him to resist trying to understand empathy. Because why should he try to understand those he considers to be inferior?
@Witch,
Your comment about the child vs the adult narcissist is how I view it also. Although I am getting less sympathetic toward the adult ones, it is taking some time to separate that out.
Also, raccoons have creepy qualities, creepy people like “hand” paws, eyes that glow in the dark and yet, coming across one young, injured one, my son and I could not help ourselves but to help it, it was injured, what else could we do?
I view Vaknin pretty much the same as I view raccoons, but I probably wouldn’t help him.
He’s cerebral, no doubt. He’s aware and fully aware so Greater. Other than that, no idea. Schools are a blind spot for me!
That’s the thing. I feel emotional empathy for HG. I feel emotional empathy for narcissists as a group. Him on that video, nothing, not a flicker. I think it’s because he’s insincere. Or, it could be his usual grandiosity and dismissiveness that I’m basing it on. Possibly his negation of me and us. Honestly, I don’t know.
Bad empath.
I’m going to go find my emotional empathy. It’ll be under the bed. Obviously.
TS, …..”Bad empath. I’m going to go find my emotional empathy. It’ll be under the bed. Obviously.” – better had find it quick lady! Laughing….. if it will make you feel less “guilty”, I tend to leave my halo outside my front door….. laughing….
I beg someone to turn:
“Do you feel empathy for a raccoon?” – Sam Vaknin, Professor of Psychology
Into an online quotation plaque and send it to him on Instagram. I would.. but I’m blocked … on both of my accounts 🤣
Hello Witch, I watched the clip – I can see why you tried to forward it to SuckVat (suck that). He’s not smart at all if he has to use HG’s videos for ‘ideas’.
God, we’re shallow. HG has a voice like velvet and knows how to mix the charm and the biting wit in just the right proportions, so we listen. Vaknin drones endlessly, so we don’t.
OTOH, learning about Narcissism can be painful enough, without being bored to tears. Most of us have better reasons to cry.
I knew you’d have the answer! That’s it! That’s exactly it!
Yes empaths do have empathy for raccoons. There has to be something seriously wrong with someone not to have empathy for a raccoon.
I even feel sad when I change my car. I feel bad for the old car. Guilty for changing it when it was such a good car. Ha ha. Not for SV though. No empathy for you Sam.
I don’t do Instagram. I made an account but for some reason I always back away from actually using it. Privacy thing. I’m weird when it comes to that. So I can’t do your plaque, though I would love to.
However, it might amuse you to know that I did post this in the comments section a few days ago. Sadly, it too was blocked.
Clearly, the only comments SV can tolerate are of the ‘You are so clever!’ variety. Hardly conducive to learning.
I’ll stop now. Everybody gets it. TS and SV are never going to get it on.
Clearly we aren’t that shallow if we have entertained certain narcs in our personal life. I think the issue is that we are comparing him to HG and he’s no where near as appealing to interact with.
He seems to want pity a lot which is annoying.
He lashes out at his listeners even over reasonable comments. And he particularly takes issue with promiscuity in women (because all his IPPS have cheated on him) and also masculinity in women.
He contradicts himself, by stating that abusing the narcissist still makes you an abuser but then advises to give the narc a taste of their own medicine.
His resentment towards women in particular affects how he interacts with his listeners and it’s off putting
@NarcAngel
This is why I suspect that he may be on the lower end of greater. I think the temptation for even an aware narc to manipulate their listeners is significant. I mean, having access to all these empath women must feel like being a crocodile on a goat farm. The inner fighting the narc must have to do to keep themselves in check and to not take advantage… I imagine it’s hard work?
I will admit that HG’s superiority to Wanna-be Playuh-Narc went a good way to reducing my addiction (if you’re gonna be addicted to someone, at least don’t settle for someone pathetic),but I also think there’s a certain amount of what Freudians call “transference” going on. Given the fact that people come and go on the blog (including satisfied readers, not just the fly-by squawk-n-splat seagulls), obviously it’s not a permanent state. People move on when they feel ready, many check back occasionally, and of course, long-time readers will often help newbies with their perspective.
Violetta, I laughed at your words – in relation to the description about the ‘seagulls’. Yet I agree with the concept of your comment & it’s well worded.
I nearly cried for the poor raccoon who tried to wash his cotton candy in a stream. 🙁 It breaks my heart just thinking about it. SV clearly doesn’t know as much as he thinks about us. He should visit my gardening group for a lesson in empathy. Someone posted “There’s a spider in my garden bed and I’m too afraid to garden now. What do I do?!” And what followed were countless comments (including myself) of people admitting they too are terribly afraid of spiders but choose to leave them be (or have someone gently move them) because they are beneficial and mostly harmless. So yes SV, we even have empathy for terrible creepy SPIDERS. Of course we have empathy for cute fuzzy mischievous raccoons! I’m glad I landed here because clearly HG understands us much better.
This is quite bizarre to me. This individual is self-aware of narcissism, but lacks self-awareness. Now that TS61 mentions it, I wonder if one would be self-aware about emulation.
Sorry, I don’t understand what you mean here. Self aware about emulation. You mean, self aware that he’s emulating something he isn’t? So, aware of his own insincerity?
Assuming he genuinely knows he is a narcissist, he doesn’t seem to have a lot of general self-awareness. I mean, doesn’t he see that we all notice how much he copies HG? He isn’t self aware about the emulation?
But I suppose it could be that he is actually a narcissist thinking he is pretending to be a narcissist. Narcissist inception??? 😆
My thoughts may not be making sense outside my head. I don’t know much about this individual TBH.
I get what you mean now. I think he sees something that works and tries to copy elements of HG’s style. He probably explains it to himself as market research.
Honestly I think a lot of his stuff is just academic regurgitation. He clearly is intelligent. He clearly is well read. He bases his lectures on published academic works. There is no real interpretation though. He isn’t looking at an academic work and then interpreting to infer the next logical step. He quotes. Pass me a book and I’ll quote too. If Jung said ‘All narcissists are sad’ that’s what he would say. He lacks original thought. Book smart basically.
If Empaths arrive in a published medical paper written by a guy with a PHD then we’ll be all right by Sam.
I have watched 3 or 4 of his videos. Maybe the others were groundbreaking. Doubt it. I agree with Witch. He doesn’t understand emotional empathy. He likely doesn’t understand he hasn’t got any. Is he double bluffing? I don’t think he is. There’s definitely something of the Mid Range about him. Maybe he is Lower Greater.
The other thing to bear in mind is that as Violetta pointed out, we’re used to the velvet tones of HG. This is true but similarly, as far as awareness of Greaters goes, HG is extremely aware. Yes Greaters know they manipulate and they know why, but only to a point. I don’t think they analyse every move, understand emotional empathy and could break down their own behaviours to such a degree. So in some ways SV could be representative of the norm. We are just used to far greater insight than the norm.
I sound venomous don’t I? Ha ha. Good. He deserves it.
HG – two small questions please (narc detector purchase in process as we speak)
1. Can you tell on narc detector if subject is a narc vs narcissistic vs normal with significantly eroded empathy?
2. I’m a long term reader/poster/purchaser here, I’m posting under different name for brand new security concerns. When I arrived a few years ago due to entanglement long distance IPSS to MMRN, I knew within one article the man I was involved with was a narc, it was so obvious to me. I have been with my husband for 22 years, married for 14…do you think its possible that he could be a narc and that I have not recognized it to date?
Any comments from anyone welcome, I’m kind of a mess over this, narc detector in short order…
Great book…I feel like a genius in Emotional intelligence after reading his books. They really do give you a one up on reading the room. Priceless and most valuable to me personally…get them all
The Angels helped me obtain an NDC on a co-worker in my new job who has more seniority, though she is not technically my supervisor. HG not only helped me make sense of the patterns I had identified but also mapped out some other patterns in her behavior that had seemed random to me (“Why in the hell would anybody…?” etc.).
Nothing she has done has surprised me since. Annoyed, but not surprised. Whatever HG says, even if it is bad news about someone you love, will bring a sense of relief. Ask for Angel Assistance if you need it; I’ve kept this job long enough (so far!) that I can start giving back, even if it’s only in a small way.
Your question regarding your husband is very reasonable. If you’re an empath, you attract narcissists. When I arrived a few months ago, it was over a very short term relationship where he was very obvious. I have since learned that not only an I am empath but both my parents and my second ex are also narcissists and I’m thinking the first ex probably is also. Who would’ve thought? But, it’s good, many lifelong answers are coming together. Best wishes, you’re in a good place here for your next steps.
Feeling Duped, the same thing happened to me. I came here almost two years ago because I was in the middle of another silent treatment. I was an IPSS. I also knew after one article (House of Discards) that the man i was involved with was a narcissist.
I also have a husband and it wasn’t until after 18 months of being on this site, that I realized that my husband was a narcissist too. I’ve been with my husband for 35 years.
So to answer your question, yes its possible that you haven’t recognized it. I was in complete denial about it and made constant excuses for his behavior.
You’ve come to the best place. Mr. Tudor will give you the answers you need. Keep reading also. It will contnue to give you awareness.
I’m so sorry this is happening to you. We are all here to give you the support you need.
Leigh,
Thank you for your response. I’ve been here three years and at this point consider myself quite knowledgeable about narcissists. I’ve read most of HG’s books, most of this blog, consulted four or five times, etc.
I’m so confused because I’ve never had to make excuses for my husband. I don’t ever feel uncomfortable or walk on eggshells with him. I’ve never picked up on him having fake emotions or hesitating to find the right one. He is often taken in by other narcs he meets, and I have to point out the fact that they are not what he thinks. If he is a narcissist he is surely a mid ranger. I know plenty of them and he just doesn’t fit the mold. So either he is more of an UMRN and is smoother so I’ve glossed over it, or he isn’t. I just don’t know, HG will let me know.
We are under an intense amount of stress due to a tragic situation in our core family unit, and I do wonder how much that is impacting things. A recent blow up and his use of his phone lately are the concerns.
Feeling Duped
You’ve had consults but never put your husband through the Narc Detector? I think that would be the best place to start. To begin by knowing what you’re dealing with. Perhaps I’m misunderstanding and you had consults about someone else and now suspect your husband, in which case – I hope you get the question of your husband answered sooner than later.
NA,
Yes, narc detector done previously about a different person, consults about a different person.
I’ve had empath detector, trait detector, even weaponised empath detector.
But I’ve never suspected my husband until more recently. In face I’ve often spoken of him here in a positive way.
Narc Detector purchased earlier today, we will see!
Feeling Duped, maybe he’s not a narcissist. Maybe his emotional empathy is being eroded by the tragic situation. Mr. Tudor will be able to tell you that for sure though.
Dear Mr Tudor,
Mr Tudor, you are our no 1 new age male version of Elizabeth Meriwether Gilmer
Simply superb breakdown analysis
Thank you
Luv Bubbles xx 😘
This concept is completely open to abuse and I dabbled in it before I made my way here. Only to try and make sense of what was going on, but it made perfect sense in the context of the relationship if you didn’t know about narcissism. It explained the various nightmarish aspects of the relationship and kept me hanging on. I never discussed it with him, we didn’t talk about being eachother’s twin flames. But because I have a spiritual bent to my nature it was an easy concept to slip into for that reason. The “soul tie”. While I looked into it, and it gave me some false hope temporarily at the time, I knew I had found the answer when I arrived here. Basically it was B/S, but this is the first time I’ve heard a comparison made to show how it mirrors the narcissistic relationship exactly. Thank you, HG.
LET, do you have Savior cadre in your mix? I do and believe it caused me to romanticize all the BS in much the same way but not knowing about Twin Flames per se.
Yes, AV, it is my majority cadre, and the element of holding a religious belief fits me to a tee. So it could be easy to fall into the spiritual element of the Twin Flame dynamic and the romanticism that surrounds it. I’m very aligned with notions of a spiritual aspect to our being and this can be hard to separate at times from the type of emotional thinking that can so easily bring us down. There is definitely a connection between our spirit/soul and our emotions from my perspective which doesn’t discount logic. But sometimes the balance is lost and it becomes all about emotion. It’s something to watch out for, at least on my part. Where I have an emotional connection I usually assume some kind of spiritual connection as well. Once again HG has injected a nice does of logic where logic is needed!
Hi LET, I’ve been pondering your comment for a while. I am majority Savior cadre also, it is the element I understand the least and think possibly influences me the most. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
There isn’t anything wrong with having some spiritual beliefs when they are harmless and you understand that the purpose is only to enhance the person’s confidence.
I make and sell pendants out of crystals and stones with spiritual meanings behind it, but the purpose is to make the wearer feel comforted like an alternative to cuddling a teddy bear, when as an adult people would stare at you like you’re a freak if you went around literally cuddling a teddy bear in public
Laughing at your words “when as an adult people would stare at you like you’re a freak if you went around literally cuddling a teddy bear in public”. There is nothing wrong with carrying around a teddy bear in public and people should change their ‘mindsets’ to accommodate the changes of people within society / community. Yeah, I’ll do that – as a test and look out for the ‘reactions’ and that will be entertaining for me…… still laughing.
I think we all hold beliefs of one kind or another and for some of us those are spiritual beliefs. The reasons we hold them are many and varied, but comfort, reassurance and protection are certainly some.
When I was a child, and growing up in a LOCE, I once bought myself a lucky rabbit’s foot at a fete. I desperately wanted something that would provide the solace that I needed at the time. Maybe it would be the charm to bring me out of that environment or give me the grace I needed to endure it. It was my ‘talisman’ and something to cling to. Even then, I was drawn to and knew the power of having a spiritual belief.
I think there is much that can be fed into them and much that can be drawn out of them. And all of them have meaning.
Some might be the alternative to cuddling a teddy bear, but there is often much more to the reason we are clinging to these things. And beneath all that is some kind of belief. That was certainly the case with my lucky rabbit’s foot!
@Asp
I’m the same, I like to challenge people’s perceptions of what is acceptable
I went a few years or so without shaving my armpits to prove a point, that I don’t have to if I don’t want to
I did not know what twin flame meant so I google and it is idiotic! However, H.G.,You’re a mind opener. I appreciate you for taking the time to drop real knowledge.
Listened to Twin Flames just now .Thank you HG .
Everything about the concept screams narcissistic entanglement.
Thankfully I don’t read or listen to others on YouTube etc about this .
Very dangerous misleading information for unsuspecting empaths .
“I cannot express it; but surely you and everybody have a notion that there is or should be an existence of yours beyond you. What were the use of my creation, if I were entirely contained here? My great miseries in this world have been Heathcliff’s miseries, and I watched and felt each from the beginning: my great thought in living is himself. If all else perished, and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger: I should not seem a part of it.—My love for Linton is like the foliage in the woods: time will change it, I’m well aware, as winter changes the trees. My love for Heathcliff resembles the eternal rocks beneath: a source of little visible delight, but necessary. Nelly, I am Heathcliff! He’s always, always in my mind: not as a pleasure, any more than I am always a pleasure to myself, but as my own being. So don’t talk of our separation again: it is impracticable; and—”
Reading this video and recalling the MRN’s apparent (supposedly) “support” at the beginning of the interaction – I say interaction because he was supposed to be assisting me over some issues I had, it was not initially a friendship then the ‘love-bombing’ starts very shortly after. It was not instant, on my part – it was the narcissist’s hoovering etc. The sayings ie “I’ve been looking for you all my life”, fated to meet, etc.
Absolutely – the devaluation period reflected with my ‘vulnerabilities’ being used against me, by other narcissists at work too. This is where it’s still something that does not make sense but I understand it – where the narcissists at work appeared to have ‘clubbed’ together and pick on certain vulnerabilities in individuals – yet these narcissists are not aware of what they are.
Wow, what an amazing eye-opener. I stumbled across the concept of twin flames a couple of years back, and at the time thought it described my relationship with someone perfectly. I know now what I am, and it seems I have just discovered what they really are too! Thank you HG, for such a clear and honest explanation.
So after I watch this video, I went searching for a “twin flame” narc and found one YouTube. He is deceiving women by encouraging them to stay with narcissists like himself because they are “twin flames.”
He admitted to having sex with numerous amounts of women while living in Brazil and also cheating on them with prostiutes. He says he suffers from “toxic masculinity.” He has about 5 thousand followers and receives comments from women stating how much he has helped them.
Please help these women by bombarding his channel with the link to HG’s twin flame video
Great suggestion to bombard that guy’s channel with HG’s version of Twin Flames – may as well include the numbers of followers that HG has in total – for example, FB was around 95k followers before I joined KTN and now it’s over 143k (6 months) – way to go HG 🙂
Yup.
But the subtle blameshifting is also apparent: it is not my fault because I am at the mercy of my masculinity. I am afflicted by my ‘masculinity.’
This part of the video really got to me … the idea of all these unaware people running around feeding into eachother’s fantasies. How do you ever fix that? In one sense you can’t blame either of them because they are unaware (not speaking to this guy specifically – I can’t even bring myself to watch the YouTube video of him!). At the same time the damage being done is enormous. It’s like watching a car crash in slow motion when you know. I’m so glad I only dabbled. Imagine if I’d gone all in on this. I could have wasted more years and shed more tears. What a waste. “You have been conned” comes to mind. Hopefully more people wake up to this sooner rather than later. And with the help of this video I’m sure they will. Kudos again, HG.
Nicely done on the link Witch. I wonder if responding to others comments isn’t moderated and a fresh comment of your own is moderated?
I commented with the link last night but he blocked it. I was very nice too! Posted the link and requested he opened the different viewpoint up for discussion. I’m wondering if he was unable to stop your link. If so, that’s worth knowing.
I’m not sure if YouTubers can delete comments from their video (maybe HG can answer that?)
I know that YouTube are censoring comments and will automatically delete comments with certain words.
I made a comment that said “prostiute” in it because I was referring to him cheating on women with prostitutes but it got deleted, but when I said sex worker the comment stayed up.
Or he could be leaving my comments because it’s challenge fuel? But I suspect more so that he can’t delete them unless he switches off the comments on the video completely
Youtube will automatically delete certain comments containing particular words. Thereafter, the owner of a channel can moderate comments through deletion, although a minimum of effort Mid Range Narcissist may not be astutely looking out for comments which go against him.
Ok, thank you for the clarification HG. It can’t be the words used as I was politely coaxing a debate. So he has deleted the comment, unless it’s in moderation. Doubtful.
Fine, I have plenty of his other videos I can take a run at. My back’s up now.
I posted a comment, seems it’s still there as someone likes it. That guy and his message are scary, really scary. It’s sad to see women going to him for advice.
Dear Notdishonestcorset,
Every word ‘she’ said was accurate an spoke with firm conviction and authority and delightfully gave that knob headed twit a dose of exactly what he is ANNNNNNND plugged Mr Tudor perfectly
What I find very disturbing, is his following of vulnerable women taking on board all that crap he’s spurting out. I’ve never heard so much nonsense
Complete n utter wanker !
I decided to click the link to check it out. I almost dropped my phone when that big face appeared on my screen…ughh…it’s not that he is ugly but He has a face that I just want to slap. And what is that marbles in his mouth… like speak clearly man. And when he says “toxic masculinity and he’s afraid to love you” the bullshit. Did you catch the Narc stare. Revolting…I lasted about 15 seconds. I feel like a need a shower. Appreciating HG even more.
Awesome video. Sickening how someone romanticized the narcissistic dynamic. This was an entirely new concept to me prior to the video, having found this site very early in my search to discover what had happened in my relationship. Glad for that, ET could make this grip someone.
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@ Fox “I nearly cried for the poor raccoon who tried to wash his cotton candy in a stream. ” OMG me too!
IMHO they’re great if they are outside, not ruining attics and homes. They also have the cutest lil grabbies!
HG,
I just listened to it. ‘Do Empaths Exist?’ I loved it. It was perfectly explained, perfectly delivered. I actually feel quite emotional. You got us so very right. Thank you for taking the time to put together such a comprehensive video all about us.
I would hug you if you weren’t a narcissistic psychopath! Instead, *nods*
Seriously, thank you. X
You are welcome.
TS, I’d hug him. I hug friends or people I have known ie more than 15 years (even if not a friend friend) – you don’t always know what people are. I’m too nice 🙂
HG doesn’t like hugs though Asp. If he allowed a hug it would be a manipulation. If I nod from across the room, HG understands what I’m meaning but has no need to reciprocate, therefore no need to assert control through manipulation.
I think I think too much!
TS, I understand what you mean. Think away TS.
Asp,
I’m worried I might look too sexy when I nod.
TS,….. laughing….. well, let’s put it this way, you have come up with an answer to the dilemma – to nod or not to nod…… laughing……
Oh no, TS! Then HG might whisper “Daddy’s home.” in your ear!!
Prayer for the Victim, AV…..
Haha, you’re not kidding!!
Asp, AV,
I was laughing away to myself when I wrote that ha ha! Only later I thought, I really hope no one took that seriously!
AV, brilliant! Still chortling at that xx
Laughing….. “Only later I thought, I really hope no one took that seriously!”….. yeah, right, oh yeah TS 😉
She’s too sexy when she nods
too sexy when she nods
The way she looks at HG….
Violetta,
Trust you to ‘know a song about that’! Ha ha! That is going to be stuck in my head all day now too!
I read your comment below. It is scary when you look back on your past with fresh eyes. I think I sidestepped narcs for the most part but Love of My Life Guy had three close friends who I strongly suspect as narcissists.
We weren’t to know then but at least we know now.
TS, thanks for “re-naming” me…… LOL 😉
TS:
It was a classic narc pattern.
Frenemyy even ran a smear campaign on me when we were on the outs: threatened me, claimed I owed her things I had never received either as gifts or loans, got a guy she had introduced me to at the skate rink (probably a runner-up for her, of course) to call and say we were breaking up. I made the mistake of asking why, so he could rip into me in terms she had undoubtedly prepared, but at least my 1st reaction was priceless: I said, “I didn’t know we were going steady.” (Hey, I was 13.)
Thank God she didn’t go to our school. Only a few people knew or card who she was. Unfortunately, one was Crushboy. He had been dating a friend of mine when he and Frenemy were off, and she promptly dismissed my friend as “a whore.” In retrospect, at least my friend didn’t, AFAIK, make out with other people’s boyfriends in the middle of the living room at parties.
Oh, if I could talk to my 13-year-old self! Actually, no, I wouldn’t listen, but if I could snuggle back some of HG’s work and I READ the list in Red Flag….
Asp Emp,
I didn’t even realise I was doing that until you mentioned it! I appreciate names can be chosen for a reason, I didn’t mean to amend yours. Sorry Asp Emp! Xx
TS, I was joking ! x 🙂
Violetta,
Teenage girls can be difficult but that to me is way outside the normal range. I think you’re right. Reading HG’s work is very much like an awakening. I have also been re examining my relationships and Love of My Life guy is an interesting one.
Three of his friends made horrendous passes at me. One was on the way home from a party. James ( the friend) lived in my direction. He had a driver. I was in the back of the car with James (13 yrs older than me, I was still at uni, they all had their own businesses). One minute we were chatting, the next his hand is sliding up my leg. I removed his hand, tried to laugh it off, offered a get out of jail free card saying he was drunk and to behave himself.
He replaced his hand, leaned in so I was squished against the car door. I pushed him back hard and said, “Driver, stop the car.” The driver looked at me in his mirror, glanced then at James. So I instantly repeated, cold, firmly, “Stop the car. Now. “
He pulled over. James protested I had misunderstood. I didn’t speak to him, I didn’t look at him. I got out and didn’t slam the door, (which I find odd) calmly started walking home. I had about a ten minute walk, bit longer maybe.
Sense of entitlement, boundary violation, objectification. Lack of accountability. The markers are definitely there.
Another of his friends locked the door of an internal hallway leading from a restroom in a restaurant. I exited the restroom, he literally grabbed me, pinned me against the door and shoved his tongue down my throat. His pregnant fiancé was still seated at the table in the restaurant, we were celebrating my boyfriend’s birthday that evening. Unbelievable when you think about it. The third friend was more subtle. I don’t know if these friends increase the chances that Love of My Life Guy was a narcissist or if it’s irrelevant.
If asked to do a Narc Detector on him, I honestly wouldn’t know what to say on it. That to me is a fairly key indicator in itself that he wasn’t a narcissist.
So yes, when we look back carefully, bloody narcs everywhere!
Spread the word. I have friends who’ve been fucked over personally and/or professionally, and I’m giving them the appropriate reading materials for their situations. That’s helping them and showing gratitude to HG by demonstrating the quality of his work.
Btw, I finally started reading Red Flag, and holy shit if my Frenemy from Jr. High didn’t run a narc seduction on me. In the days before email and texting, she would call me or have me call her at least once a day and spend hours on the phone (until my parents rather generously limited it to half an hour after they caught me playing an album over the phone). My parents (and I) dismissed it as some weird teenage thing, but none of my other (limited number of) friends acted like that. She’d have someone over at her place on be on the phone to me, but she’d also occasionally have me over to her place and be on the phone to someone else–triangulating us both. I remember thinking this was poor manners and guiltily suppressing the thought, as I did my suspicions when she publicly made out with someone else’s then-boyfriend in the middle of the living room at a party. (I later had my 1st make-out session with the same boy– he was a big crush for many that year–in someone’s bedroom, and was disgusted when someone walked in, claiming to be looking for cigarettes. The door had a weird locking system involving twisting the doorknob that I couldn’t figure out, but I didn’t want to share this with anybody but Crushboy.)
Of course I was flattered by her attention: why would a girl a year older (who was in a different school system where her grade was already high school) and Kewler bother with a little dweeb like me?
Painfully clear why now. The hero-worship (better yet, envy) of a naive little dweeb was exactly what she needed. Someone older and Kewler wouldn’t bother with her shit.
Sam V
Made a video on twin flames a day ago lol! And is still trying to undermine empaths, by saying they are “covert narcissists”
So he’s baited himself out that he’s been preeing HG’s YouTube channel
Of course he has (whoever he is) , he obviously watches, he has even used the term “fuel” previously.
His overall presentation has changed dramatically also. Plain as day who he’s now trying to emulate.
That copying narcissistic trick is aggravating to the extreme, but go ahead SV, knock yourself out.
Signed, The Covert Narc xxx
I still can’t wait for the diss track
Please make it in the style of UK rap like this and if anyone accuses me of shit stirring, the truth is… I am
https://youtu.be/dFOErVWlsxg
Actually Witch, you could be on to something there.
What about if ‘Empaths Are Covert Narcissists’ was given the Tudor Treatment? Empaths everywhere would stand up and applaud. The video would be brilliant, because well, it’s HG. The bonus is that SV takes a direct hit from the Tudor Camp.
Winner winner!
Whoa. He didn’t say “Narcissistic Supply”?
Very careless on his part.
I’m enjoying his video “how I experience my narcissism”
It’s obvious he has taken certain ideas from HG which are making his content better.
I’m not sure if he knows empaths exist but are denying it as part of his manipulation or he really doesn’t think/or want to recognise that we exist?
He did ask “do you feel empathy for a raccoon?” When trying to explain the narcissists lack of empathy… and it’s like, “yes, yes us empaths do feel empathy for raccoons!” 😆
Laughing…. at the raccoons LOL
I’ve thought more about it, and I believe he resents female empaths in particular and this why he is denying our existence. He said he is “scared of women” because all women have hurt him including his mother.
He is jealous of us because we know who we are and he has no core personality aside from the narcissism and because he is acutely aware of this, our “shine” threatens his control.
It seems he is also envious of our relationship with raccoons 😆
He wants to know why!? Why do we feed the vermin!!? Why!?
Witch,
I saw your comment so I listened to the video. It’s different in that its more personal. Or it’s an attempt at being personal. What concerned me more was my response to it. I didn’t feel anything at all. No sympathy, no empathy for his situation, nothing at all.
I interpreted it as a drawn out pity play ‘ My health is failing. I don’t have long.’ Someone playing at feeling sad. Personally, I don’t believe he feels sad. I believe he feels empty, I believe he might feel lost at times. I did not get an emotional read of ‘sad’.
I watched him closely, I listened carefully, I felt nothing for him at all. You would expect me to feel something. I would expect me to feel something. Honestly, no emotional reaction. Why?
@TS
Yes it was a pity play lol
But it also provides some insight into how cerebrals think and act.
I did feel empathy for his childhood and I always do and will with narcs. I compartmentalise the child from the adult because the child is still for the most part helpless and is still developing their personality. A child in a narc infested home is powerless and has no voice.
I agree that he is either confusing emptiness with sadness or he is aware he feels emptiness but he is describing it as sadness in order to get empathy from his listeners.
I have wondered if he is a lower greater?
The raccoon question indicates a lack of complete understanding of empathy and how it works for non-narcissists.
It could be that his sense of superiority leads him to resist trying to understand empathy. Because why should he try to understand those he considers to be inferior?
@Witch,
Your comment about the child vs the adult narcissist is how I view it also. Although I am getting less sympathetic toward the adult ones, it is taking some time to separate that out.
Also, raccoons have creepy qualities, creepy people like “hand” paws, eyes that glow in the dark and yet, coming across one young, injured one, my son and I could not help ourselves but to help it, it was injured, what else could we do?
I view Vaknin pretty much the same as I view raccoons, but I probably wouldn’t help him.
Laughing….. loving the raccoon pic – the tongue hanging out…. excellent…. laughing….
Witch,
He’s cerebral, no doubt. He’s aware and fully aware so Greater. Other than that, no idea. Schools are a blind spot for me!
That’s the thing. I feel emotional empathy for HG. I feel emotional empathy for narcissists as a group. Him on that video, nothing, not a flicker. I think it’s because he’s insincere. Or, it could be his usual grandiosity and dismissiveness that I’m basing it on. Possibly his negation of me and us. Honestly, I don’t know.
Bad empath.
I’m going to go find my emotional empathy. It’ll be under the bed. Obviously.
TS, …..”Bad empath. I’m going to go find my emotional empathy. It’ll be under the bed. Obviously.” – better had find it quick lady! Laughing….. if it will make you feel less “guilty”, I tend to leave my halo outside my front door….. laughing….
@TS
It’s probably because he’s a smug prick that lacks the charm of Elites and has a punchable face
Hahaha, “a punchable face”!! Love it!
@Asp
This is actual footage of me trying to explain to sam V why we feel empathy for Raccoons
https://youtu.be/O9MvdMqKvpU
I beg someone to turn:
“Do you feel empathy for a raccoon?” – Sam Vaknin, Professor of Psychology
Into an online quotation plaque and send it to him on Instagram. I would.. but I’m blocked … on both of my accounts 🤣
Hello Witch, I watched the clip – I can see why you tried to forward it to SuckVat (suck that). He’s not smart at all if he has to use HG’s videos for ‘ideas’.
Still laughing at your profile pic.
God, we’re shallow. HG has a voice like velvet and knows how to mix the charm and the biting wit in just the right proportions, so we listen. Vaknin drones endlessly, so we don’t.
OTOH, learning about Narcissism can be painful enough, without being bored to tears. Most of us have better reasons to cry.
Witch,
I knew you’d have the answer! That’s it! That’s exactly it!
Yes empaths do have empathy for raccoons. There has to be something seriously wrong with someone not to have empathy for a raccoon.
I even feel sad when I change my car. I feel bad for the old car. Guilty for changing it when it was such a good car. Ha ha. Not for SV though. No empathy for you Sam.
AV,
“I view Vaknin pretty much the same as I view raccoons, but I probably wouldn’t help him.”
Haha!
Witch,
That Pocahontas clip cracked me up!
I don’t do Instagram. I made an account but for some reason I always back away from actually using it. Privacy thing. I’m weird when it comes to that. So I can’t do your plaque, though I would love to.
However, it might amuse you to know that I did post this in the comments section a few days ago. Sadly, it too was blocked.
https://youtu.be/U7Atm-_o6Zo
Clearly, the only comments SV can tolerate are of the ‘You are so clever!’ variety. Hardly conducive to learning.
I’ll stop now. Everybody gets it. TS and SV are never going to get it on.
@violetta
Clearly we aren’t that shallow if we have entertained certain narcs in our personal life. I think the issue is that we are comparing him to HG and he’s no where near as appealing to interact with.
He seems to want pity a lot which is annoying.
He lashes out at his listeners even over reasonable comments. And he particularly takes issue with promiscuity in women (because all his IPPS have cheated on him) and also masculinity in women.
He contradicts himself, by stating that abusing the narcissist still makes you an abuser but then advises to give the narc a taste of their own medicine.
His resentment towards women in particular affects how he interacts with his listeners and it’s off putting
@TS
That does amuse me and the fact he’s abusing the block button too
I believe it to be the case that SV is deserving of the accusations of “doing what he does purely for fuel” that we sometimes witness.
@NarcAngel
This is why I suspect that he may be on the lower end of greater. I think the temptation for even an aware narc to manipulate their listeners is significant. I mean, having access to all these empath women must feel like being a crocodile on a goat farm. The inner fighting the narc must have to do to keep themselves in check and to not take advantage… I imagine it’s hard work?
Asp,
Haha. I like the halo outside the front door. Yes you’re right. X
Well, my house is actually my ‘sanctuary’ so I’ll be ‘me’ in my house. So, yeah, I’ll leave my halo where it belongs – outside my ‘sanctuary’. 😉
Witch:
I will admit that HG’s superiority to Wanna-be Playuh-Narc went a good way to reducing my addiction (if you’re gonna be addicted to someone, at least don’t settle for someone pathetic),but I also think there’s a certain amount of what Freudians call “transference” going on. Given the fact that people come and go on the blog (including satisfied readers, not just the fly-by squawk-n-splat seagulls), obviously it’s not a permanent state. People move on when they feel ready, many check back occasionally, and of course, long-time readers will often help newbies with their perspective.
Narc methadone?
Violetta, I laughed at your words – in relation to the description about the ‘seagulls’. Yet I agree with the concept of your comment & it’s well worded.
We thought raccoons were cute until they chewed a hole in our roof and filled the house with fleas.
I nearly cried for the poor raccoon who tried to wash his cotton candy in a stream. 🙁 It breaks my heart just thinking about it. SV clearly doesn’t know as much as he thinks about us. He should visit my gardening group for a lesson in empathy. Someone posted “There’s a spider in my garden bed and I’m too afraid to garden now. What do I do?!” And what followed were countless comments (including myself) of people admitting they too are terribly afraid of spiders but choose to leave them be (or have someone gently move them) because they are beneficial and mostly harmless. So yes SV, we even have empathy for terrible creepy SPIDERS. Of course we have empathy for cute fuzzy mischievous raccoons! I’m glad I landed here because clearly HG understands us much better.
Who doesn’t love trash pandas?!
This is quite bizarre to me. This individual is self-aware of narcissism, but lacks self-awareness. Now that TS61 mentions it, I wonder if one would be self-aware about emulation.
Hey BC30,
Sorry, I don’t understand what you mean here. Self aware about emulation. You mean, self aware that he’s emulating something he isn’t? So, aware of his own insincerity?
Assuming he genuinely knows he is a narcissist, he doesn’t seem to have a lot of general self-awareness. I mean, doesn’t he see that we all notice how much he copies HG? He isn’t self aware about the emulation?
But I suppose it could be that he is actually a narcissist thinking he is pretending to be a narcissist. Narcissist inception??? 😆
My thoughts may not be making sense outside my head. I don’t know much about this individual TBH.
BC30,
I get what you mean now. I think he sees something that works and tries to copy elements of HG’s style. He probably explains it to himself as market research.
Honestly I think a lot of his stuff is just academic regurgitation. He clearly is intelligent. He clearly is well read. He bases his lectures on published academic works. There is no real interpretation though. He isn’t looking at an academic work and then interpreting to infer the next logical step. He quotes. Pass me a book and I’ll quote too. If Jung said ‘All narcissists are sad’ that’s what he would say. He lacks original thought. Book smart basically.
If Empaths arrive in a published medical paper written by a guy with a PHD then we’ll be all right by Sam.
I have watched 3 or 4 of his videos. Maybe the others were groundbreaking. Doubt it. I agree with Witch. He doesn’t understand emotional empathy. He likely doesn’t understand he hasn’t got any. Is he double bluffing? I don’t think he is. There’s definitely something of the Mid Range about him. Maybe he is Lower Greater.
The other thing to bear in mind is that as Violetta pointed out, we’re used to the velvet tones of HG. This is true but similarly, as far as awareness of Greaters goes, HG is extremely aware. Yes Greaters know they manipulate and they know why, but only to a point. I don’t think they analyse every move, understand emotional empathy and could break down their own behaviours to such a degree. So in some ways SV could be representative of the norm. We are just used to far greater insight than the norm.
I sound venomous don’t I? Ha ha. Good. He deserves it.
HG – two small questions please (narc detector purchase in process as we speak)
1. Can you tell on narc detector if subject is a narc vs narcissistic vs normal with significantly eroded empathy?
2. I’m a long term reader/poster/purchaser here, I’m posting under different name for brand new security concerns. When I arrived a few years ago due to entanglement long distance IPSS to MMRN, I knew within one article the man I was involved with was a narc, it was so obvious to me. I have been with my husband for 22 years, married for 14…do you think its possible that he could be a narc and that I have not recognized it to date?
Any comments from anyone welcome, I’m kind of a mess over this, narc detector in short order…
1. Yes.
2. Entirely possible. I am the expert, you are not. You are affected by emotional thinking which obscures, I am not.
Thank you, will also purchase black flag to assist in the narc detector process.
HG approves.
Great book…I feel like a genius in Emotional intelligence after reading his books. They really do give you a one up on reading the room. Priceless and most valuable to me personally…get them all
FD:
The Angels helped me obtain an NDC on a co-worker in my new job who has more seniority, though she is not technically my supervisor. HG not only helped me make sense of the patterns I had identified but also mapped out some other patterns in her behavior that had seemed random to me (“Why in the hell would anybody…?” etc.).
Nothing she has done has surprised me since. Annoyed, but not surprised. Whatever HG says, even if it is bad news about someone you love, will bring a sense of relief. Ask for Angel Assistance if you need it; I’ve kept this job long enough (so far!) that I can start giving back, even if it’s only in a small way.
Never mind: I see you’ve already got it.
Hi Feeling Duped,
Your question regarding your husband is very reasonable. If you’re an empath, you attract narcissists. When I arrived a few months ago, it was over a very short term relationship where he was very obvious. I have since learned that not only an I am empath but both my parents and my second ex are also narcissists and I’m thinking the first ex probably is also. Who would’ve thought? But, it’s good, many lifelong answers are coming together. Best wishes, you’re in a good place here for your next steps.
Feeling Duped, the same thing happened to me. I came here almost two years ago because I was in the middle of another silent treatment. I was an IPSS. I also knew after one article (House of Discards) that the man i was involved with was a narcissist.
I also have a husband and it wasn’t until after 18 months of being on this site, that I realized that my husband was a narcissist too. I’ve been with my husband for 35 years.
So to answer your question, yes its possible that you haven’t recognized it. I was in complete denial about it and made constant excuses for his behavior.
You’ve come to the best place. Mr. Tudor will give you the answers you need. Keep reading also. It will contnue to give you awareness.
I’m so sorry this is happening to you. We are all here to give you the support you need.
Leigh,
Thank you for your response. I’ve been here three years and at this point consider myself quite knowledgeable about narcissists. I’ve read most of HG’s books, most of this blog, consulted four or five times, etc.
I’m so confused because I’ve never had to make excuses for my husband. I don’t ever feel uncomfortable or walk on eggshells with him. I’ve never picked up on him having fake emotions or hesitating to find the right one. He is often taken in by other narcs he meets, and I have to point out the fact that they are not what he thinks. If he is a narcissist he is surely a mid ranger. I know plenty of them and he just doesn’t fit the mold. So either he is more of an UMRN and is smoother so I’ve glossed over it, or he isn’t. I just don’t know, HG will let me know.
We are under an intense amount of stress due to a tragic situation in our core family unit, and I do wonder how much that is impacting things. A recent blow up and his use of his phone lately are the concerns.
Feeling Duped
You’ve had consults but never put your husband through the Narc Detector? I think that would be the best place to start. To begin by knowing what you’re dealing with. Perhaps I’m misunderstanding and you had consults about someone else and now suspect your husband, in which case – I hope you get the question of your husband answered sooner than later.
NA,
Yes, narc detector done previously about a different person, consults about a different person.
I’ve had empath detector, trait detector, even weaponised empath detector.
But I’ve never suspected my husband until more recently. In face I’ve often spoken of him here in a positive way.
Narc Detector purchased earlier today, we will see!
Feeling Duped, maybe he’s not a narcissist. Maybe his emotional empathy is being eroded by the tragic situation. Mr. Tudor will be able to tell you that for sure though.
I hope it all works out for you.
Dear Mr Tudor,
Mr Tudor, you are our no 1 new age male version of Elizabeth Meriwether Gilmer
Simply superb breakdown analysis
Thank you
Luv Bubbles xx 😘
Thank you.
Excellent … unlocking the mystery of bullshit
Ha ha Francine!
Stick with HG. He actually knows his arse from his elbow!
This concept is completely open to abuse and I dabbled in it before I made my way here. Only to try and make sense of what was going on, but it made perfect sense in the context of the relationship if you didn’t know about narcissism. It explained the various nightmarish aspects of the relationship and kept me hanging on. I never discussed it with him, we didn’t talk about being eachother’s twin flames. But because I have a spiritual bent to my nature it was an easy concept to slip into for that reason. The “soul tie”. While I looked into it, and it gave me some false hope temporarily at the time, I knew I had found the answer when I arrived here. Basically it was B/S, but this is the first time I’ve heard a comparison made to show how it mirrors the narcissistic relationship exactly. Thank you, HG.
Thank you for sharing your experience, interesting to read.
LET, do you have Savior cadre in your mix? I do and believe it caused me to romanticize all the BS in much the same way but not knowing about Twin Flames per se.
Yes, AV, it is my majority cadre, and the element of holding a religious belief fits me to a tee. So it could be easy to fall into the spiritual element of the Twin Flame dynamic and the romanticism that surrounds it. I’m very aligned with notions of a spiritual aspect to our being and this can be hard to separate at times from the type of emotional thinking that can so easily bring us down. There is definitely a connection between our spirit/soul and our emotions from my perspective which doesn’t discount logic. But sometimes the balance is lost and it becomes all about emotion. It’s something to watch out for, at least on my part. Where I have an emotional connection I usually assume some kind of spiritual connection as well. Once again HG has injected a nice does of logic where logic is needed!
Hi LET, I’ve been pondering your comment for a while. I am majority Savior cadre also, it is the element I understand the least and think possibly influences me the most. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
There isn’t anything wrong with having some spiritual beliefs when they are harmless and you understand that the purpose is only to enhance the person’s confidence.
I make and sell pendants out of crystals and stones with spiritual meanings behind it, but the purpose is to make the wearer feel comforted like an alternative to cuddling a teddy bear, when as an adult people would stare at you like you’re a freak if you went around literally cuddling a teddy bear in public
Laughing at your words “when as an adult people would stare at you like you’re a freak if you went around literally cuddling a teddy bear in public”. There is nothing wrong with carrying around a teddy bear in public and people should change their ‘mindsets’ to accommodate the changes of people within society / community. Yeah, I’ll do that – as a test and look out for the ‘reactions’ and that will be entertaining for me…… still laughing.
I think we all hold beliefs of one kind or another and for some of us those are spiritual beliefs. The reasons we hold them are many and varied, but comfort, reassurance and protection are certainly some.
When I was a child, and growing up in a LOCE, I once bought myself a lucky rabbit’s foot at a fete. I desperately wanted something that would provide the solace that I needed at the time. Maybe it would be the charm to bring me out of that environment or give me the grace I needed to endure it. It was my ‘talisman’ and something to cling to. Even then, I was drawn to and knew the power of having a spiritual belief.
I think there is much that can be fed into them and much that can be drawn out of them. And all of them have meaning.
Some might be the alternative to cuddling a teddy bear, but there is often much more to the reason we are clinging to these things. And beneath all that is some kind of belief. That was certainly the case with my lucky rabbit’s foot!
@Asp
I’m the same, I like to challenge people’s perceptions of what is acceptable
I went a few years or so without shaving my armpits to prove a point, that I don’t have to if I don’t want to
Witch, good to read that you like to challenge ‘perceptions’ too.
Laughing about the armpits – lovely! Not.
“people would stare at you like you’re a freak if you went around literally cuddling a teddy bear in public”
Which is exactly what Sebastian Flyte does at uni in Brideshead Revisited.
I did not know what twin flame meant so I google and it is idiotic! However, H.G.,You’re a mind opener. I appreciate you for taking the time to drop real knowledge.
You are welcome Ciara and I appreciate you reading it and allowing that mind to be opened.
Listened to Twin Flames just now .Thank you HG .
Everything about the concept screams narcissistic entanglement.
Thankfully I don’t read or listen to others on YouTube etc about this .
Very dangerous misleading information for unsuspecting empaths .
Kiki
Indeed and you are welcome.
“I cannot express it; but surely you and everybody have a notion that there is or should be an existence of yours beyond you. What were the use of my creation, if I were entirely contained here? My great miseries in this world have been Heathcliff’s miseries, and I watched and felt each from the beginning: my great thought in living is himself. If all else perished, and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger: I should not seem a part of it.—My love for Linton is like the foliage in the woods: time will change it, I’m well aware, as winter changes the trees. My love for Heathcliff resembles the eternal rocks beneath: a source of little visible delight, but necessary. Nelly, I am Heathcliff! He’s always, always in my mind: not as a pleasure, any more than I am always a pleasure to myself, but as my own being. So don’t talk of our separation again: it is impracticable; and—”
Reading this video and recalling the MRN’s apparent (supposedly) “support” at the beginning of the interaction – I say interaction because he was supposed to be assisting me over some issues I had, it was not initially a friendship then the ‘love-bombing’ starts very shortly after. It was not instant, on my part – it was the narcissist’s hoovering etc. The sayings ie “I’ve been looking for you all my life”, fated to meet, etc.
Absolutely – the devaluation period reflected with my ‘vulnerabilities’ being used against me, by other narcissists at work too. This is where it’s still something that does not make sense but I understand it – where the narcissists at work appeared to have ‘clubbed’ together and pick on certain vulnerabilities in individuals – yet these narcissists are not aware of what they are.
Wow, what an amazing eye-opener. I stumbled across the concept of twin flames a couple of years back, and at the time thought it described my relationship with someone perfectly. I know now what I am, and it seems I have just discovered what they really are too! Thank you HG, for such a clear and honest explanation.
You are welcome.
So after I watch this video, I went searching for a “twin flame” narc and found one YouTube. He is deceiving women by encouraging them to stay with narcissists like himself because they are “twin flames.”
He admitted to having sex with numerous amounts of women while living in Brazil and also cheating on them with prostiutes. He says he suffers from “toxic masculinity.” He has about 5 thousand followers and receives comments from women stating how much he has helped them.
Please help these women by bombarding his channel with the link to HG’s twin flame video
His YouTube name is Klaus Hakala:
https://youtu.be/TLBmWdV3i84
OMG. Surprise, surprise!
Great suggestion to bombard that guy’s channel with HG’s version of Twin Flames – may as well include the numbers of followers that HG has in total – for example, FB was around 95k followers before I joined KTN and now it’s over 143k (6 months) – way to go HG 🙂
Suffers from “toxic masculinity” – way to blameshift, haha.
Wtf is toxic about masculinity anyway?
Thanks for sharing Witch.
Its a euphemism for being a cunt, but trying to pretend it is some kind of affliction.
Ha ha, spot on, HG!
🤣🤣🤣
Exactly.
Succinct!😆
It’s a softer way of saying “misogynist”
Which is really a diversion from the correct term; narcissist
Yup.
But the subtle blameshifting is also apparent: it is not my fault because I am at the mercy of my masculinity. I am afflicted by my ‘masculinity.’
Lack of accountability also , oh it’s my toxic whatever jeez 🙄
Lack of accountability – good point Kiki!
‘He is deceiving women by encouraging them to stay with narcissists like himself because they are “twin flames.”’
What kind of Narcissist goes around drumming up fuel supply for other Narcissists?
An unaware one.
This part of the video really got to me … the idea of all these unaware people running around feeding into eachother’s fantasies. How do you ever fix that? In one sense you can’t blame either of them because they are unaware (not speaking to this guy specifically – I can’t even bring myself to watch the YouTube video of him!). At the same time the damage being done is enormous. It’s like watching a car crash in slow motion when you know. I’m so glad I only dabbled. Imagine if I’d gone all in on this. I could have wasted more years and shed more tears. What a waste. “You have been conned” comes to mind. Hopefully more people wake up to this sooner rather than later. And with the help of this video I’m sure they will. Kudos again, HG.
I’m coming out to play. Guy is gob shite.
Nicely done on the link Witch. I wonder if responding to others comments isn’t moderated and a fresh comment of your own is moderated?
I commented with the link last night but he blocked it. I was very nice too! Posted the link and requested he opened the different viewpoint up for discussion. I’m wondering if he was unable to stop your link. If so, that’s worth knowing.
I’m not sure if YouTubers can delete comments from their video (maybe HG can answer that?)
I know that YouTube are censoring comments and will automatically delete comments with certain words.
I made a comment that said “prostiute” in it because I was referring to him cheating on women with prostitutes but it got deleted, but when I said sex worker the comment stayed up.
Or he could be leaving my comments because it’s challenge fuel? But I suspect more so that he can’t delete them unless he switches off the comments on the video completely
Youtube will automatically delete certain comments containing particular words. Thereafter, the owner of a channel can moderate comments through deletion, although a minimum of effort Mid Range Narcissist may not be astutely looking out for comments which go against him.
Ok, thank you for the clarification HG. It can’t be the words used as I was politely coaxing a debate. So he has deleted the comment, unless it’s in moderation. Doubtful.
Fine, I have plenty of his other videos I can take a run at. My back’s up now.
Get to work!
Alright alright!
Laughing….. sharpen your claws first, TS 😉
I usually take the softly softly approach. Be nice, look innocent, then….
I do ‘play dumb’ quite well too funnily enough ha ha!
Laughing.
What an obvious narcissist, schoolbook gaze and dead eyes.
Brrr.
Creepy guy and bullshit videos.
Laughing….. “bullshit videos”.
He blocked me, Witch…no surprise there! (Challenge fuel)
Makes sense, one person saying something is not as convincing as multiple people saying it
I posted a comment, seems it’s still there as someone likes it. That guy and his message are scary, really scary. It’s sad to see women going to him for advice.
Certainly is scary, AV. Did you see his response to those two women “I love both of you” – grrr, made my flesh crawl!
JB, yes, he’s very bad.
AV, he certainly is!
Dearest Witch.
All I can say is, massive kudos to Dishonest-Corset 👏
Absolutely Brilliant !
Luv Bubbles xx 😘
@bubbles
Dishonest-corset is an absolute icon… like wow! I’m so glad she came through
Not Dishonest Corset,
Plonker! Xx
wallahi I don’t know her personally.. but she’s very attractive, don’t y’all agree?
Logging off before the haters @ me
Hahaha
Not Dishonest Corset,
Ohhh yes!! She’s bootiful!
Cant trust her though. Faints a lot.
Dear Notdishonestcorset,
Every word ‘she’ said was accurate an spoke with firm conviction and authority and delightfully gave that knob headed twit a dose of exactly what he is ANNNNNNND plugged Mr Tudor perfectly
What I find very disturbing, is his following of vulnerable women taking on board all that crap he’s spurting out. I’ve never heard so much nonsense
Complete n utter wanker !
She’s stunningly gorgeous btw 😉
Luv Bubbles xx 😘
Sorry, just catching up on this thread…
Pahaha!
Omg, notdishonestcorset & TS!!!!
Too funny.
How about adding this link to HG’s article on ‘The Support Forum Fraud’?
https://narcsite.com/2020/12/20/the-support-forum-fraud-13/
(I’m sitting here wearing my halo – all innocent).
I decided to click the link to check it out. I almost dropped my phone when that big face appeared on my screen…ughh…it’s not that he is ugly but He has a face that I just want to slap. And what is that marbles in his mouth… like speak clearly man. And when he says “toxic masculinity and he’s afraid to love you” the bullshit. Did you catch the Narc stare. Revolting…I lasted about 15 seconds. I feel like a need a shower. Appreciating HG even more.
Francine,
This made me laugh. You’re exactly right. The guy is the epitome of a ‘Dry Lunch’
Awesome video. Sickening how someone romanticized the narcissistic dynamic. This was an entirely new concept to me prior to the video, having found this site very early in my search to discover what had happened in my relationship. Glad for that, ET could make this grip someone.