The 10 Laws of Narcissistic Possession

 

THE-10-LAWS-OF-NARCISSISTIC-POSSESSION

1. You belong to me.

I own you. From the moment I first engaged with you, you became mine. That is the unwritten contract that forms between you and me. I engulf you, I possess you and I subsume your identity into mine. I do not recognise you as someone who is separate and distinct from me, with your own hopes, fears and desires. You have been plugged into me from the start, my appliance which is there to provide me with fuel, obey me and accede to my commands. This mind set is what governs the entirety of our relationship and is what is behind so much of what I do and say to you. By understanding that this is how I view you in relation to me you will realise that once I have begun to entangle you, the concept of you evaporates and you become part of me.

2. What is yours is mine

As part of this unwritten contract I immediately take power, custody and control of everything which you own. Your money is mine to spend. Your friends become my friends and ripe for recruitment into the ranks of my lieutenants. Your house is my house where I shall install myself before you know it, using your utilities freely although never paying for them. It is not your car, it is my car now. I recognise no boundaries and therefore you will find that your possessions will always be sequestrated for my use. You are not allowed to own anything in your own right. From the cake you have saved for later to your shower gel, I will take it and use it. This sense of entitlement extends beyond the material. I will take your dignity, your sanity and your self-esteem too. I have no use for those things, they cannot serve me in any way but I will take them all the same. I am an asset stripper and you will be stripped.

3. Blame belongs to you

I am never at fault. I am never responsible and I am never accountable. Culpability and I are not bedfellows. I escape liability for anything and everything that I do and instead the blame will always rest with you. Even if you have done nothing wrong I will pin the blame on you as this serves my purposes to draw fuel from you, control you and denigrate you. If I forget to remove something from the cooker, it is your fault. If I forget to pay a parking ticket on time, it is your fault. If I forget an anniversary, it is your fault. Each and every mishap, failure and problem which arises will always be attributed to you because I cannot be held to account.

4. I take what I want from whomsoever that I choose

I walk this world as a colossus and it is my right  to do as I please. I will take whatever my eye rests on as I am entitled to do so. I will steal because I can. If I want something then I will take it. I will take the credit for achievements when they belong to someone else. I will pinch the partner of a friend because I want her in my bed and not his. I will park my car where I like and I am not to suffer any consequence. I will borrow from neighbours and never return anything. It is my right to take and you must never challenge or criticise me as I exercise this right.

6. What is mine stays mine

All resources that are mine remain mine and are for my exclusive use. I will not lend anything to anybody, they should go and buy their own. I will not share. I will stockpile money secretly, notwithstanding that we apparently have a joint account. I have my own shelf inside the fridge for my food which nobody else is to touch. Nobody is allowed to sit in my favourite chair, not even when I am not there. Nobody is to play my CDs or read my books. They are not for you, they are for me. My friends are my friends, yes they will pretend to like you, purely for the sake of appearance but they will never actually be your friends. Anything that is mine remains as mine.

7. I go where I please

I own the right to go anywhere that I like. I am not to be stopped or questioned as to where I am going or where I have been. I move in between and through, an unstoppable force in light of my vast sense of entitlement. I walk through doorways marked private, I attend meetings to which I have not been invited, I will turn up at your social occasions even though I was not asked to attend. I will step over the threshold, vault the red rope and penetrate all areas because I must always know what is going on. Besides, my presence is such that I am always welcome, who would not want someone as brilliant as I with them? I am access all areas.

8. I own the spotlight

The spotlight must be trained on me at all times as it belongs to me. It is for my use to highlight how interesting, witty and successful I am. It lights up my podium where I stand elevated and superior and woe betide you should you try to point it anywhere else. You must never interfere with my ownership of the spotlight for to do so will invite my fury at your transgression. It is a device that must be aimed at me so that the world is always to see me, so that I can receive the adoration which I am entitled to.

9. I owe you nothing

I owe you nothing because in the beginning I gave you everything. It does not matter that since then you have given me your all, your love, your affection, your time, your money, your dignity and your will to live. You can festoon me with gifts, run around after me, nurse me, pleasure me, support and soothe me but this is what you ought to be doing as I am entitled to be treated in this manner. I have no sense of needing to reciprocate, someone as high born as me need not deign to fawn over you, not any more, not once I have captured you and bound you tight to me. You are nothing without me, worthless and pathetic and therefore I owe you nothing, despite the fact you gave me everything.

10. You belong to me.

I thought I would remind you of this fact. It would not do to forget that now, would it?

Number 5? Of course there is a fifth rule – You are imagining things. Again.

132 thoughts on “The 10 Laws of Narcissistic Possession

  1. Duchessbea says:

    This could be applied in any relational sense, romantic or otherwise.

    1. Bubbles says:

      Dearest Duchessbea,
      Absolutely, my mum for starters !
      She vetoed all my friends n boyfriends, ✅❌ (some she actually had the hots for) ewwwwwww !
      I could supply you with an endless list of all her demands
      Ahhh the good ol days
      Luv Bubbles xx 😘

    2. Witch says:

      @Duchess
      Agreed!
      My matrinarc tried to hoover me a couple of days ago through my sister.
      Matrinarc asked my sister if she should post a picture of me on her social media and my sister told her no because I don’t want anything to do with her, so then she asks my sister for my number so she can ask me directly.
      She keeps referring to me as “my witch.”
      It’s disturbing and incestuous, but that’s how it is when you’re the golden child.

      1. A Victor says:

        @Witch, “…disturbing and incestuous, but that’s how it is when you’re the golden child.”, thank you for this, I didn’t realize it was common.

        1. Witch says:

          @A Victor
          Yes it’s very common for narc parents to be obsessed with their children especially when they are single.
          The last time I had contact with matrinarc was about a year and 8 months ago.
          But it seems she still wants to post pictures of me on her social media to maintain her facade and thinks she’s entitled to contact me about it even though I haven’t spoken to her coming up 2 years.
          I almost feel sorry for her, for the fact that she is a low grade narcissist and will never get it.
          She’s going to end up being one of those miserable old people who argues with everyone on the bus

          1. A Victor says:

            Oh geez, I do just keep learning more here. Not all of it what I want to hear. She knows better than to put me on social media, I think. Thank you, again.

          2. Asp Emp says:

            Witch……. LOL “She’s going to end up being one of those miserable old people who argues with everyone on the bus”……

  2. lickemtomorrow says:

    Why do I thrill at times when I read the first four words of this article?

    “You belong to me”

    Why do these words at times seem comforting?

    “I own you”

    These two phrases really highlight the element of addiction for me. Or at least my reaction to them. It’s really quite concerning that this narcissistic phrasing can still impact me in the way it does.

    Breaking free is definitely a long term affair when it comes to denying the narcissist their ownership. Simply because there’s a part of me that wants to give ownership as though it’s been written onto my soul. Resist, resist, resist. Those are the new words that must be written there.

    1. JB says:

      LET, what you said here really resonates with me. For me, it’s comforting, the idea of feeling like you belong to someone. It makes me feel loved, special. I think, in my case, it’s a throwback to not ever feeling loved by my dad. The insecure, lost feeling that he has instilled in me, I believe, has resulted in me permanently searching for someone to fill that gap through that feeling of belonging. Unfortunately, that ends up negatively affecting romantic relationships, because you either end up with someone ‘normal’ who doesn’t make you feel that way (which is possibly a good thing), or you end up inadvertently gravitating towards narcissistic relationships to try to fill the void, which feel like home because they end up reminding me of what was ‘home’. You’re not alone Xx

      1. lickemtomorrow says:

        Thank you, JB, for your response <3 It always helps to know you're not alone.

        I can relate to what you've said about being comforted by that sense of belonging, even though it's a twisted sense of belonging and ownership in the narcissist's world. Funny how the denial and insecurity created by one narcissist leads us straight into the arms of another to try and find the very security we were denied. It's like an endless loop of trying to fill the void, as you say, where 'home' ends up being the same nightmare we left behind. So, normal is better than narcissist, for sure. Normal is not going to deprive you like your father did, or my mother did. But they won't be as 'familiar' either. They won't fulfill the narrative we have lived and which we have become used to repeating. A new narrative is what's needed now. As I said, "resist, resist, resist". That has to be the first part of my new narrative. It's the only way to make room for the normals, and maybe even the empaths, to come in. And we're going to have to choose them over the narcissists. A bit like choosing a glass of water over a glass of wine if you're an alcoholic. The water won't taste as good, but it will be better for you 🙂 xox

        1. JB says:

          LET, it’s a process of relearning, isn’t it? I was conditioned by my mum that the right relationship should look a certain way. But what she described, I now know to be indicative of a narcissistic relationship! Of course, before, I didn’t know this info, and there have been times when I have questioned my marriage, because some of the things I thought I was looking for were absent. However, I am coming to realise that these things were the hallmarks of a narcissistic relationship, and not really what I should be wanting at all. I said this exact thing to my husband the other night. We have had some rough patches, but I am sharing what I have learned with him and we are getting there Xx

          1. lickemtomorrow says:

            Ah, JB, our narcissistic mother’s didn’t really prepare us for life or relationships, did they? Or if they did, we got the wrong kind of preparation. The kind that just enabled our addiction, and for me the idea that I was meant to be an extension as opposed to a separate individual. That could be one reason why you find yourself questioning your relationship and marriage. And I appreciate you sharing that as I’m sure it was difficult to do. But if we expect to be an extension and that doesn’t happen then we could potentially find ourselves at a loss. Love won’t look like love as we have always experienced it, which isn’t love at all. I may be barking up the wrong tree, but I do imagine that is how I might feel in a non-narcissistic relationship – where is the push me/pull me? Where is that addictive dynamic that creates tremendous highs and incredible lows? How can I be satisfied to be in a steady and secure relationship when my understanding and experience of relationships is anything but that? Love in the context of narcissistic relationships is trauma.

            I think it’s wonderful that you and your husband are discussing the issue. It’s possible he’s sensed your concerns and opening this up to him is one way for him to understand, and both of you to appreciate what is really valuable about your relationship.

            I’m in thrall of other posters here who have struggled with the addiction, yet have somehow managed to find themselves in loving relationships. Truly loving relationships. We’ll always take our woundedness with us into those relationships, but those are the very relationships which provide the healing space we need xox

          2. A Victor says:

            LET, your comment here made me realize that I think the image in our minds of what constitutes a healthy relationship is one that is going to be diametrically opposed to the one we were taught to accept as normal. This makes it somewhat reasonable to believe we can achieve it but that it will entail a huge amount of work and having people we can trust in place to check things against when we need to. This is hope giving. I did this with the raising of my children, everything opposite of how my parents did. I wasn’t a perfect parent, far from it. But I was a successful parent, even with the struggles my children have or have had. So, if the right person comes along and the incentive to do the hard work is there, it is possible I think. But not until we have our ET under control firmly and have learned as much here as we can.

            JB, so happy for you and your husband to be talking! It is encouraging to see people make progress! Thank you for sharing that.

          3. JB says:

            AV, thank you, I am glad too. It has been, and continues to be, a learning process. In summary, the journey so far.. a gradual feeling of dissatisfaction that I couldn’t ignore, things which didn’t sit well with me in our relationship that suddenly got bigger for me (at the time I had no idea about narcissism and the implications of my dad potentially being one on me and my relationships), being sucked in by somebody who claimed to care, but then turned out to be a narcissist, leading me to question everything and end up here, where I discover that everything that had ever happened in my life had been the inevitable consequence of being raised by a narcissist. Accepting that to be true, then the grief at what that meant. Now working on accepting changing myself, and having the courage to do so. Realising that yes, it was my upbringing which made me the kind of person who always feels she needs to seek permission in a relationship, but I don’t need to carry on that way, nothing is actively stopping me living my own life, apart from my own fear. Someone once said to me that I need to work out if in fact it was me who put the chains on myself, and on reflection I think this is spot on. Sorry to write so much! Cathartic to do so though! How are things with you? Xx

          4. A Victor says:

            Hi JB, don’t apologize for writing a longer comment, please, it makes me feel a bit less guilty for the longer ones I write. I have been working on keeping them short, but then there still seem to be many. And I have figured out that because of the time difference, mine can sit there on the “recent comments” as a big block sometimes. So I don’t worry about that any more. I am curious how many there have been though since HG sees that. Anyway, I am doing well, working with my son currently to get his life straightened out, which is going well.

            Your “nothing is actively stopping me living my own life, apart from my own fear.” hit me, that is something I have to look at. Not quite ready yet though. But, again, glad for those who go before and survive, it is encouraging! Thank you for the reply!

          5. SParham says:

            I described my longer, regular commenting on here like it’s a journal to my friend. She was asking questions and I wouldn’t be surprised if she looks for herself. There’s so much to be learned. It’s nice to connect with like-minds and not fret about trolls. 💐

          6. JB says:

            AV, I’m glad things with your son are going well. He’s lucky to have you xx

          7. NarcAngel says:

            LET
            I think you’re onto something there. Early on in my time on the blog someone used the term addicted to chaos and that resonated with me. That if all you have ever known is the push pull you mention, then the prospect of a relationship with a non-narcissist might seem (and were) boring to some (despite believing and saying a normal stable relationship is what is/was desired). There were complaints that men subsequent to the narcissist had lame lines and no game. I remember commenting that it’s narcissists who bring those things in spades and how did that work out? I think you’re right that we need to work out if the highs and lows we experience are the normal and healthy excitement of a new relationship or manipulations leading to trauma. Not an easy call, but as your comment shows – digesting the information provided here and asking ourselves some hard questions will help us to make those distinctions and to be successful. And you will be.

          8. lickemtomorrow says:

            Thank you so much, NA. I think the term ‘addicted to chaos’ is perfect. Essentially that is what the narcissist creates with their dynamic. We never know what to expect, or when, or why. I think I have seen some of those comments you mention and it can be hard when it’s all you’ve known to turn that ship around and dock in another harbour. By all accounts a less exciting one, but nonetheless a safer and more secure one.

            “we need to work out if the highs and lows we experience are the normal and healthy excitement of a new relationship or manipulations leading to trauma.”

            So true. The two can look and feel very similar in the initial stages. We’ve got more than enough information here to help us determine which is which over a period of time, and time is important. No rushing in, and no fooling ourselves, as much as the narc would like to fool us so we do rush in. HG has a great video about that over on the Ultra channel today, btw.

            But the questions are necessary now. And thank you for your vote of confidence 🙂

          9. Asp Emp says:

            NA, RE: ” we need to work out if the highs and lows we experience are the normal and healthy excitement of a new relationship or manipulations leading to trauma”.

            A good point – there is no ‘grey’ in what your words say, it’s either black (narcissist ‘entanglement’) or white (non-narcissist relationship). I would not say that the majority of my past relationships were ‘entanglements’ with narcissists, however the length of the ‘entanglements’ were long compared to the relationships that were non-narcissist.

            If I had not found my way to KTN blog, I would still become involved in relationships where it was always going to be more damaging for me as an individual – whether they were intimate or at work and I would not have been able to ‘rediscover’ myself, nor learned to view aspects of myself that I was unaware of.

            RE: “digesting the information provided here and asking ourselves some hard questions will help us to make those distinctions and to be successful”. Well said, I agree. What is more, the learning here, I found has also ‘taught’ some different ways of making decisions in life, not based on narcissism.

          10. JB says:

            NA, that resonates with me, too. It’s a confusing place to be – not wanting chaos, wanting stability no game-playing, etc, but at the same time, when you actually get those things, you feel like there is something missing at times. It is that push-pull dynamic that we have been conditioned to look for in a relationship. We don’t want it, but we do! Guess it really is an addiction of sorts..bad for us, yet we crave it. I have never been addicted to anything in my life, so it’s all new to me, learning the best way to handle mine!

        2. JB says:

          LET, I think my mum is actually a normal. It’s my dad who I believe is a narcissist. But my mum is an enabler. She doesn’t realise that she is, but she is. He wouldn’t have the power that he continues to have if she were to tell him that his behaviour were unacceptable a bit more often. She does when she is really pushed to the limit, but that takes a long while for her to reach! When that happens (only a few times in my life), she explodes and he recoils. But nothing changes. And it never will. My initial upset at my dad is waning, but sadly is being transferred to how I feel about my mum instead. I am her child – why doesn’t she say something when he acts the way he does? She isn’t scared of him, he isn’t a violent type, so what’s the problem? If my husband made our kids feel the way my dad makes me feel, I would be leaving! Or at least attempting/wanting to! But despite knowing what she would consider to be his ‘flaws’, she still thinks he is the bees knees – a bit in awe of him.

          Thank you for acknowledging that it isn’t easy to confide. It is difficult to talk about Mr JB. I feel like I am being disloyal somehow, talking about him on here. But it does all form part of my story as to how I arrived here with you all, so is relevant. I am glad I discussed narcissism with him. He has been a supportive ear when it comes to my dad. I told him about HG, and he even surprised me with a few of his books at Christmas! Xx

          1. lickemtomorrow says:

            JB, my apologies for reading that wrong, and I do remember now that your father is the narcissist in your situation. As hurtful as that is and has been for you, you are also highlighting another important aspect of the dynamic when you talk about your mother. And I understand how your mother’s inability to act was just as impactful on you as your father’s narcissism. This is always a tough one, where often the parent who finds themselves in this position is also the child of a narcissist. That might not always be the case, but it’s a thought to put out there.

            And there will often be anger associated with both parents in the circumstances. The one who acted (the narcissist) and the one who enabled (the non-narcissist). I can understand how you feel, even though my circumstances differ in terms of being an ACON. It’s that type of anger that enabled me to leave my marriage initially. Even though I walked into it blind, I knew it wasn’t acceptable to remain. Certainly not when it came to my children. You seem to be coming from a similar perspective, which is the reason you are questioning – how could she let that happen? How could she not see you when she was the only one who could really help you? How could she be so blind?

            These are reasonable questions to ask, and I think the reality is we will find the answers to those questions here, too. Because the narcissist blinded her. Because he took up all her time and attention. Because she was ensnared by the narcissist.

            Those might be some of the answers, but in certain respects they will never satisfy. Because we deserved better. And no doubt so did they. We all lose in that sense.

            I am delighted to hear that Mr JB is being supportive, and he bought you a slew of HGs books for Christmas? He really is a good guy! xox

          2. JB says:

            LET, no need to apologise! Yes I have been feeling a lot of anger towards my mum, then guilt for feeling that way (no-one is perfect, and she did/does her best), guilt for feeling disloyal for writing about my family like this…the list goes on! It’s a process, which we all continue to work through here. It feels a bit like a bereavement, lamenting what has happened, and what will now never be. Since losing one of my best friends back at the start of the year this feeling has intensified. Wondering what it’s all about.

            Yes Mr JB is being supportive. He listened to what I said, and asked me HG’s name, then went away and bought me some of his books! I was really touched. It’s been a confusing time, as I have done so much reading on narcissism, and learning about myself and why I am the way I am, that I got muddled and started to question whether he was a narcissist. Not for no reason at all; there were little things.. his reaction to criticism, worrying about me going out alone at night (so I would feel that I couldn’t, and so didn’t), and he couldn’t win because when I discussed it with him and he did eventually say all the ‘right’ things, I then thought of manipulation, etc, and didn’t know what to believe! Then felt guilty for feeling that! But I know, deep down, that he isn’t a narcissist. He is a normal, with some narcissistic traits, which to me makes his responses to some things sometimes seem cold, but I think that is just because he isn’t an empath. I don’t know what I am, but I guess I must be an empath as I am so different to him in that respect. I take on friends’ issues and pain as if they were my own, and often more than is reciprocated (sorry, that sounds whingy!) A lot to be said for being more like him, you get your own needs protected a lot more xxx

          3. lickemtomorrow says:

            I’m sorry to hear you lost one of your friends, JB, and that can bring up all kinds of emotions. It can certainly leave us feeling a lot more vulnerable. I think it’s good to express those emotions which are probably most easily understood by other ACONs. Although, I’m sure all empaths would understand. Most would probably understand the guilt you feel as well. It’s how we structure our thinking sometimes – I shouldn’t be angry at my mother/father because they did their best for me. But then where is the space for JB? Does JB not deserve a voice in the circumstances? Those are the questions I’d be asking. In my situation, I demand to have a voice. No doubt attached to my Saviour which is strongly linked to justice in my case. How dare you? is the question on my lips. How dare you allow me suffer in this way? That’s taking it to the other extreme, but what it does for me is challenge not just my parents, but my own parenting as well. The same judgement could be applied to me. And I did apply it to myself which enabled me to GOSO. I wanted my children to have the voice I never had. It is not a bad thing to be angry. It can be motivational in a good way. That doesn’t mean you need to take anything out on your mother, of course, but to my mind you don’t need to feel guilty about questioning the circumstances and acknowledging the feelings that exist. You have a right to those feelings. Your mother made choices that impacted you and you felt a certain way about that. Good. You are human <3

            I think the fact we don't know who you are, JB, nor your family, means this is a safe place to vent, which is what I've always taken it to be. It can be hard exposing the people we love to the possible judgement of others, but in order to heal we need to expose the wounds that brought us here. For the most part it will be the narcissist, so zero guilt there on my part, but it's not always just the narcissist. Other relationships will have been impacted by the narcissist, like the one with your husband. And it's interesting the way we begin to question everything after we arrive here. It's because our whole worldview is changed. We begin to see things in a way we have never seen them before.

            You seem to have a fair idea of your own empathy and your husband's measurement as a normal against the scale HG provides. It would be great if you could do the Detectors to get some reassurance around that. I hope you will be able to do that soon, if that's what you'd like to do. And you don't sound whingy. That's what friends are for – sharing and caring. I'm glad you have friends you can do that with <3

            I think I've wished normal on my kids here, but at least one is hopelessly empathic x

          4. JB says:

            Thank you LET. It certainly has brought up all kinds of emotions. I agree with you that anger can be healthy and useful in motivating us to take action. It’s knowing what to do with it in my situation. In any other situation I would be encouraging the person to talk to their mum about how they felt, but I honestly think in my case it would just do more harm than good. It is a safe place to vent here, as you said, and I am so grateful to be able to do that.

            Yes I definitely think normal is what we should want for our kids. A nice balance of empathy combined with just enough narcissistic traits to stop them being taken advantage of! I have the same feeling about one of my kids too. It makes me proud to see empathy being shown towards others, but I can’t help but worry that it will leave them more open to narcissistic abuse. Sad to end up thinking like that really! Xx

    2. A Victor says:

      LET, I have had the same reaction at times and I have chalked it up to my addiction. Lately I have been becoming more upset and sad at the idea, and angry at them for being that way.

      1. Eternity says:

        A Victor ,
        I am not angry anymore. I forgive but I don’t forget .it is really not their fault they think this way. I feel bad for them because they don’t know what they are. We just need to stay away that’s all.

        1. A Victor says:

          Thanks Eternity, I don’t stay angry for long but it has happened a few times recently, more than usual. I think it will calm down again. I will take steps to sort it out if it doesn’t on it’s own.

          1. Eternity says:

            A Victor , it will calm down for sure, you ET will get lower in time. Sometimes everyone needs life lessons and this how we learn .

      2. lickemtomorrow says:

        AV, I sometimes think angry is my middle name! I am so pissed at the narcissists in my life and what they have left me with, which is NOTHING!

        Just empty spaces that can’t be filled, except somehow by me and any strength I can muster. And a lot of that involves putting on a brave face, appearing to all the world to be OK. When clearly, due to the damage they have inflicted, I am not OK underneath.

        It is upsetting and frustrating that we have been left with this legacy. Which is the legacy of addiction. But thankfully we know now it’s not the only option. We’re gaining the understanding and the tools to defeat it, AV.

        If you’ve ever given something up and been able to maintain that position you will know that it can be done and you’ve been better for it. It’s one way of looking at it that makes the mountain not so high to climb. You’ve done it before and you can do it again. That’s what I’ll focus on to help me gong forward <3 xox

        1. NarcAngel says:

          Lickem

          You may not feel “ok” yet, but hopefully you feel better than when you had no understanding of was happening to you. Stepping stones can sometimes be slippery, but the path is there all the same and if you keep focus and navigate carefully with the tools you have been given here, you will get to ok and better.

          1. lickemtomorrow says:

            Oh, I definitely feel better, NA. Thanks for the reminder.

            There are a number of stepping stones to getting to feeling OK. And ‘slippery’ is a good description of how it feels and what it takes to get there sometimes. Staying focused and careful navigation is a must. Thank you for that reminder, too.

        2. A Victor says:

          Right now it is pissing me off that I have to do it yet again. Why can’t I be forward focused instead of resolving and relearning old crap from my past, stuff that is over and done, that I can’t change and I don’t care about looking at it. But, I suppose if it must be done to make the forward motion possible, then I must do it. But it still pisses me off.

          1. Asp Emp says:

            AV, reading what you say in this comment – would a chat with HG help? He can advise in relation to how it may work for you in order to devise a method of “forward motion” and at the same time allay your concerns about how best to achieve this for yourself.

            In my view, and how it worked for me, was to re-learn about myself, rather than just about the narcissism around me. As I read HG’s work, I also applied myself alongside it – more or less in a parallel ‘method’ if you like. Yes, it brought back moments of ‘occurrences’ in my past, which is part of learning to understand that particular occurrence and my “part” in it (how I was affected – rather than the narcissist themselves but looking at the narcissism itself).

            If I may say so, I think it is not about “resolving and relearning old crap from my past, stuff that is over and done, that I can’t change”. Granted, you cannot re-write history but you can re-write yourself (re-program your thinking).

            I can totally understand your frustration, because you want to move forward. I know you can achieve it but maybe you need guidance on which method / tools would work best for you.

            Maybe some other empaths on this blog can also offer their suggestions and / or methods that they have used in order for you to consider as ‘pooling’ the ideas together to form your own ‘idea’ (method).

            I know it is not easy, AV. You can do it.

          2. A Victor says:

            Thank you Asp Emp, I do think you are correct about the “alongside” part, I have to implement that. And these times of being upset are becoming fewer and further between, it is just a process to figure out the most effective way to put them to bed for good. I cannot hold my parents accountable for things forever, I must take responsibility and move as I see fit at this time. But I think it is a process of realizing the enormity of what has transpired, realizing how that has affected things in my life and then figuring out how to do the putting to bed etc. And it seems to be a cyclical thing as well as like an onion, with the many layers and as another is hit, it can start some things over again. But, it is improving generally which is better than any therapist was ever able to do and also which is all I can really ask for. Thank you for your thoughts, always encouraging!

          3. Asp Emp says:

            AV, good to read that your periods of upset are getting fewer & further apart. I’ll have to admit that you can never really “put them to bed for good” because of the addiction to narcissism and it will always be part of you. You can take responsibility for how you manage that addiction – that is why we are all here, to learn the tools to do so. You are doing ok, really ok. Yes, I understand the “enormity” part – it was like that for me when I realised mother was narcissist too (only by coming here and started reading) and then having to take myself through the journey to where I am now. You are welcome and no need to thank me x

          4. lickemtomorrow says:

            It doesn’t seem fair when the narcissist has no compunction to look behind, or suffer any concern with picking up the pieces. I feel like I’ve been picking up pieces my whole life. Fork the whole lot of them!

            Now let me go back to that more Zen moment NA provided <3

          5. HG Tudor says:

            None of it’s fair, from your perspective but you have to recognise that and deal with it.

          6. lickemtomorrow says:

            Thank you, HG.

            “Deal with it”

            Much like “just get over it” for me.

            My perspective sucks. I know that.

            At least in terms of moving forward.

            It amounts to being stuck.

            And I appreciate the shot of logic you provide.

          7. Eternity says:

            HG,
            We have definitely had lots of patience and learned to deal with it.
            We have taught us this and we have recognized it .

          8. Eternity says:

            Sorry what I meant HG is that YOU have taught us this !

          9. A Victor says:

            Yes, picking up pieces FOR THEM my whole life!! That is exactly it! Fork ’em all!! Hahaha! Is that British for ‘fck’??

            What zen moment?? Can I join?? 🙂

          10. lickemtomorrow says:

            Haha, AV, “fork it” comes from the TV series I mentioned to TS – The Good Place.

            Because the characters were in the ‘good place’ (equivalent of heaven), they actually couldn’t swear/curse … so, basically every time they went to say a word that wasn’t appropriate it was replaced 😛 So, ‘fork’ for ‘f*ck’, ‘ash-hole’ for ‘asshole’, etc.

            I thought it was very clever, and so noticeable when it happened. I had an internal giggle every time it happened. I thought, that will be me … if I get to the Good Place x

          11. lickemtomorrow says:

            Oh, and check out NA’s comment for the Zen moment <3

          12. A Victor says:

            That is super funny!

      3. BC30 says:

        I think this is a phase in “recovery” resulting from being awakened. Sucks to be in the Matrix, Neo.

        1. lickemtomorrow says:

          Indeed.

          1. BC30 says:

            Hahahaha perfect.

          2. Asp Emp says:

            Woo Hoo!!

        2. A Victor says:

          I believe you are correct, and it does suck.

    3. Truthseeker6157 says:

      LET,

      There’s a difference in interpretation with the word ‘own’. Similarly with ‘you belong to me’.
      Your interpretation of being owned is to allow it willingly. The narcissist’s is to take without asking.

      Belong to or ‘with’? For you, to belong to someone represents safety and a sense of being cherished. For the narcissist, his lawnmower belongs to him as well and is viewed in a similar way. People, things, it’s all the same to them. Own, belong, just more objectification.

      I own you. Great! Sounds hot, when do we start? Switch own for abuse, violate, then suddenly it’s not so sexy. Carefully chosen words sprinkled on willing ears. Just another trick to conceal the grime beneath.

      It’s trickery and the addiction buys its ticket and laps up the show.

      I know you like your songs.

      https://youtu.be/zuQV3sDW2YE

      Xx

      1. lickemtomorrow says:

        You are so right, TS, in everything you say.

        Victim or Volunteer? To the narcissist we are a victim. And taking without asking is what makes us so. Coincides with pulling the wool over our eyes so that we willingly submit.

        It’s a good idea to exchange those words, so that we really understand what we are letting ourselves in for and what lies beneath.

        And I like this – “the addiction buys its ticket and laps up the show” – so true. Very well said <3

        I do like my songs! I've got Ed Sheeran's "Afterglow" on a loop at the moment … could be part of the problem 😉

        xox

        1. BC30 says:

          Everything Sheeran writes is empath bait 🐛🐠

          1. lickemtomorrow says:

            But I love it <3

            I guess Death Metal is the only answer for me now.

            You're emojis are empath bait as well, BC30. So cute!

      2. lickemtomorrow says:

        Oohh, didn’t see you left me a song … thank you <3 xox

        1. Truthseeker6157 says:

          LET, Ha ha!

          Less Ed Sheeran more….😳

          1. lickemtomorrow says:

            Haha, TS, is that eyes wide open??!

            And less starry eyed, too xox

          2. Truthseeker6156 says:

            LET,

            That song captivated me by the lyrics. If I didn’t know better, I would say that someone who understood narcissism had put that together.

            “I’ve seen that glaze, that glitch in your eyes.”

            It’s a bit heavy for my taste though I don’t have a particular taste in music. I listen to different songs for different reasons. Mood mostly.

            Xx

          3. lickemtomorrow says:

            TS, the title of the song says it all, and I’d have to agree that whoever wrote it had experience of narcissism. Like many of us, that doesn’t necessarily mean they knew what it was. So many songs – especially the dark and broken hearted ones – shout narcissism to me now! What I am learning (unfortunately) is that the uplifting ones can totally feed my addiction and may well have been written by narcissists. It’s as well to be aware, but I can’t discount the beauty of life because of narcissists <3

            I'm very eclectic when it comes to music as well and it's often based on my mood. Some artists really speak to me, and Ed's one of them. Now all I need is for HG to tell me he is a narcissist 😛 Taylor's got a new song out, too, which once again speaks to the narc dynamic. Now there's a girl who knows what she's talking about. The weird thing is she writes about it from the victim's perspective so well … maybe HG is really Taylor Swift in disguise and she gets all her writing material from HGs blog?! Haha!

          4. BC30 says:

            Now I’ve “Perfect” on repeat, but my assistants keep knocking and annoying me—this is because I came in early, which they know means I’m on a rampage to get work done–and they take advantage. 😂😭

          5. Asp Emp says:

            BC30…….goes to put on the door “Do NOT Disturb” 😉

          6. lickemtomorrow says:

            <3 Now there's some real empath bait!

            LOL to your assistants, BC30. Tell them you're having an ET moment and they're just gonna have to wait x

            If they knock the door down, you'll know HG sent them 😉

          7. Truthseeker6157 says:

            LET,

            I don’t think Ed is a narcissist. I’ve never looked into his background though. I only know him by his songs and his general demeanour on a few interview clips I’ve fallen across.

            I’m still toying with Oprah. I would have said no. I would have said empath despite her being in a position of influence and despite her abusive childhood which could both be markers. The only thing that made me think was her announcing personal cash donations she had made to deserving families during Covid. I can’t imagine an empath doing that. It would make me physically cringe to say that. Oprah is still a question mark for me.

            You’re right some songs will coincidentally scream narcissism, particularly given the subject is often in our minds. Something about that one though. The writer might not know what it is, but if he was drawing on personal experience, he nailed it on the description! When you feel a wobble, thought you could listen to that ha ha! Xx

          8. lickemtomorrow says:

            Nah, I don’t think Ed is a narc either, TS. He does come across quite humble. Seems to have a nice normal wife now, too.

            Oprah has lost my backing when it comes to any credentials she’s built up in the past – whether that’s as an empath or narcissist (I have asked, but mustn’t give the game away!) Her behaviour, to me, appears to be very narcissistic. What that might be down to is anyone’s guess, but while she appeared to have empathy for Harry’s wife, she did not have any empathy for the people who were thrown under the bus during that interview – namely the RF. If I had a negative impression of them, as some people do I’m sure, I might be cheering her on, but I don’t. There is massive admiration for the Queen who has been a stalwart for decades during her reign, and add to that her age and the illness and death of Prince Philip. It’s like picking on a defenseless old lady – only maybe now she can defend herself and her family if the “never complain, never explain” precedent has been lifted. But, for me it was wrong on so many levels. Never mind the lies that were told. Basically meant to sh*t stir and damn the consequences. I have no respect for that. So, as much as I have admired Oprah in the past, I admire the Queen’s commitment to duty and service more.

            And I did appreciate the song you forwarded for future reference <3 I think the darker overtones are perfect as a warning, and he did nail it! Hopefully there won't be any wobbles any time soon, but I'm even better armed now if there are 🙂 xox

      3. Asp Emp says:

        TS, good comment. I liked “For the narcissist, his lawnmower belongs to him as well and is viewed in a similar way” – so are you saying that he ‘cherishes’ his lawnmower ? 😉 Reminds me of my comment last year (The Nasty Neighbour Narcissist). 🙂

        1. Truthseeker6157 says:

          Asp,

          He might cherish his lawnmower. If it’s a ride on and well oiled!

          1. Asp Emp says:

            TS, now that’s an image (perceptions, perceptions……laughing) 😉

          2. Truthseeker6157 says:

            Haha!

            Yep. I might listen to my inner voice but at least I don’t talk to microwaves!

          3. Asp Emp says:

            TS, “I don’t talk to microwaves!”……. laughing. What you don’t even have a voice activated one? I know how I’d give it instructions….. “Just cook for the fkg thing” LOL.

          4. Truthseeker6157 says:

            Asp,

            Hahaha, I can see you doing that too. No, I listen to my inner thought voice, narcs talk to microwaves (given that people are appliances it follows that they talk to their appliances as they talk to people, no real difference in their minds)

            Goodness this is the second of my jokes I had to explain. Am I losing my touch here?! (don’t say it!)

            Xx

          5. Asp Emp says:

            TS, I know exactly what you mean RE: inner thought voice. No, you have not ‘lost touch’. There is nothing wrong with self-analysing in the way you have described it. Surely millions of people do it. On a daily basis.

            LOL, the microwave would probably say to me “Can you please repeat that”……

          6. Truthseeker6157 says:

            Asp,

            If your microwave is like my Siri, then yes!

            Xx

    4. Becoming Observant says:

      It sounds hot when they say it. It means something to us (security, being wanted – craved even – and adds a sense of urgency to it all), and a little something different to them (I control you, you will obey and never question me, I’m not sharing you with anyone (romantically, family-wise, work-wise, friend-wise).

      It still sounds sexy, especially with a tight grip and penetrating stare.

      Which makes it totally confusing the next week when they’re bumping your plans for plans with another woman. Ha!

      1. BC30 says:

        Truth!

      2. A Victor says:

        That’s it. And because of our addiction, it is music to our ears. Ugh.

        1. Eternity says:

          Yes agreed A Victor, we need to detox from these individuals and remember they just all lie and are full of crap. They make our lives miserable and they always try and come back for more. We are human beings not objects,or appliances. We have a heart ❤ and we are not robots either. Sorry, I am venting today just pissed off. I am so grateful I Escaped! Best decision of my entire life
          I love being independent and doing what I want without being controlled by anyone.

          1. A Victor says:

            Eternity, you just filled in a blank for me, one I didn’t even realize I had! Star War’s R2D2 is a robot, an appliance, as cute and useful as he is, he is replaceable, though not inexpensively I am sure, and not without a pause in service, unless there is a backup on a shelf in storage. Lol, thank you!!

            I am sorry to hear you are struggling today, have you been being hoovered? Yes, escaping was a very good decision! I hope your day improves!

          2. Eternity says:

            Hi A Victor ,there is a hoover from time to time but I can’t handle it. Thank you I hope you have a great day too.

          3. A Victor says:

            You can’t handle it? That is concerning…are you okay?

          4. Eternity says:

            I am fine honestly thank you for asking. Enjoying the day outside today. I can handle it. I dealt with it for 24 years so I am good. .

        2. SParham says:

          Sharing seems to be hard for a narc. I personally will share anything but my Kindle. 🤗

          Who wouldn’t want to be secure and adored? It’s disappointing that it’s not real though. Blindfold him if you drive his narc butt to your home. Gag him when you give in and then back on with the blindfold. I hope that you use a burner phone for communicating. One nasty text and in the waste can it goes. Gotta be strategic you know. 😈

          1. A Victor says:

            My strategy is to run, the opposite direction, as far and fast as possible. After a 23 year romantic relationship with one and a lifetime spent with two narc parents, I have no time left for trying to control the uncontrollable. Not my job nor my desire. I’m here trying to learn how to avoid being ensnared by one again if I decide to date again. Now, if he can’t love me genuinely, I am better off alone, by far.

      3. lickemtomorrow says:

        Hi Becoming Observant 🙂

        I can completely relate to your bracketed references there, in terms of what those words mean to us and what they mean to the narcissist. The craving exists on both parts, I think. And that’s how I experience it as a Co-Dependent. Good word!

        It’s very heady and addictive, and it will sound sexy to us for those reasons.

        I think I need to look away at the next part – “tight grip and penetrating stare”!

        All those things draw us in, and I may as well roll over and expose my belly at this stage, ‘cos I’m good for the kill right about now 😛

        Just kidding, but how devastating is it to realize you rolled over only to find out you’re not the only willing victim?

        Narcs are good at what they do, and we are better to pay them no attention.

        1. A Victor says:

          “I may as well roll over and expose my belly at this stage, ‘cos I’m good for the kill right about now”, and for me it goes from zero to this in about 30 seconds flat. I’m pathetic. 🙁

          1. JB says:

            AV, you are not pathetic! You are only human, please don’t be so hard on yourself! You know your weaknesses and you are working on them, that’s all any of us can do x

          2. A Victor says:

            I debated about sending that. Given the absolute thrill, palpable and quite visceral, that I had to the guy at church way back in Jan, when he first stared, I realized how vulnerable I am. It was a wake up call. And I didn’t even find him that attractive. But the intensity was what caught me. One of the definitions of visceral, “not intellectual, instinctive, unreasoning”, is literally what happened. And this is terrifying, what if I can learn all I can and it still happens? And, the idea of that makes me feel pathetic. It is a matter of getting the thought control but is it at a level that is even possible, when the reaction is so powerful? What if I would have found him attractive? What if the next one is? It is very frightening. But, I am not giving up, it literally was just how I felt when writing that comment, you know? Like, normals keep their head on straight, I don’t, and I have myself to fight in addition to fighting them, I want what they offer. I felt like that was pathetic, still do this morning. It will pass, maybe, if I can get a grip on this.

          3. Eternity says:

            A Victor, just you ET getting the best of you and me too. Once it lowers you will be able to spot them more clearer. The Addiction will always be there we just need to manage it. It really sucks.

          4. lickemtomorrow says:

            That’s why we’re here, AV 😉

          5. Asp Emp says:

            AV, you are NOT pathetic x

        2. Becoming Observant says:

          easier said than done: this one is a somatic.

          Each time I let him in, it’s amazing (physically), but I know I’m gonna pay for it in tears later. He can’t pretend to be human for more than a couple of weeks at a time.

      4. JB says:

        Spot on, Becoming Observant! That last sentence did make me want to laugh and cry at the same time! 😂

    5. Bubbles says:

      Dearest lickemtomorrow,
      I’m the exact total opposite
      It stirs a reaction in me of wanting to ‘glove slap’ and duel to the death
      En garde 🤺
      🤣
      Luv Bubbles xx 😘

      1. lickemtomorrow says:

        Haha, Bubbles, I love your little emoji – En garde!

        I will hope this is the reaction that will be stirred in me by the time I’m done here X

      2. Asp Emp says:

        Bubbles, loving the “glove slap”, hilarious!

      3. Bubbles says:

        Dearest lickemtomorrow n Asp Emp,
        I always carry gloves in my handbag … just in case …oh yes along with toothpicks, bandaids, sanitiser, a tape measure, a whistle and an umbrella 🌂
        😂
        Luv Bubbles xx 😘

        1. lickemtomorrow says:

          Haha, Bubbles, you sound like Mary Poppins <3

          Just a spoonful of sugar, or a glove slap. Whichever is appropriate xox

          1. Bubbles says:

            Dearest lickemtomorrow,
            Hahahahaha …..you should see the size of my handbag 👜
            I actually prefer a spoonful of honey 🍯
            😂
            Luv Bubbles 😘

        2. Asp Emp says:

          Bubbles, sounds like you need a bigger bag LOL

          1. Bubbles says:

            Dearest Asp Emp,
            Just so happens 🤣
            That’s not all I keep in my bag of tricks 😱
            Luv Bubbles xx 😘

          2. Asp Emp says:

            I bet it isn’t Bubbles (laughing).

          3. Bubbles says:

            Dearest Asp Emp,
            I’ll get two for a discounted price, stick it on my Coles loyalty rewards card n collect a free points MasterChef wok into the bargain 🥳
            Care for some stir fry ? 😂
            Luv bubbles XX 😘

          4. Asp Emp says:

            Bubbles, laughing……

        3. BC30 says:

          You’re like my short-distance BFF! That woman, also an Emapath (I don’t need the EDC for her!) packs EVERYTHING when we go on vacation. I told her that I am inspecting and culling her luggage for our trip to Thailand.

          1. Bubbles says:

            Dearest BC30,
            My luggage packing for travel is actually very light I need room for all the stuff I bring back 😂
            Luv Bubbles xx 😘

      4. NarcAngel says:

        Bubbles
        I’m with you on the response to “I own you” but my reaction is a little more frying pan about the ears than glove slap. You’re a classy dame haha.

        Little update on my sister: The wedding to Tweedle Dumb has been delayed again to next year due to pandemic, however, I have been informed that “They” have purchased a home/cottage in a fairly isolated area 15 hours from where we presently live. He regularly disappears to go “camping” for periods alone so I assume he will be there much of the time while she continues working here (he will be retiring much before her). The residence and property also needs lots of work that there is no evidence he is capable of. Sigh.

        I hope things go much better for you and your family with your youngest.

        1. Asp Emp says:

          NA, the frying pan – yes I agree it can be more effective than gloves and the frying pan may only need to be used once. On the hob, serving a purpose that it was intended for 😉

          1. SParham says:

            I just love when my cooking is critiqued by my narc. He never cooks yet loves to advise me on my techniques. I’d rather feed it to the dogs than him. 🙄

          2. Asp Emp says:

            SP, that was funny. Yes, I was criticised for my driving – he shut up when I said something like that I do not tell him how to drive his car LOL

          3. SParham says:

            Oh, I never drive us anywhere. My friends appreciate my driving but narc is far superior. Pfft, he’s a maniac behind the wheel. Total unforgiving asshole too.

          4. Asp Emp says:

            SP, laughing. The Lesser I knew was a “maniac” driver too. The MR I knew was ‘measured’, never really drove fast with me in the car, careful but not over the top when parking……. ie not driving fast into a parking spot 😉

          5. A Victor says:

            My ex was the worst driver and I think he enjoyed my fear. I would usually read to avoid that. He has since had his license removed, I know only from the recent conversation with my oldest about my 2nd oldest having visits with him. It was not surprising that he’s had it removed.

          6. SParham says:

            Mine used to run from any type of police car. Ironic that our son is a cop, haha. One night husband wrecked and split my head open. He had no license due to reckless driving so I took the blame. The cop knew better but I was 20 years old and “in love” so I was determined (🤮). That mofo narc didn’t even come to the hospital to check on me! The cop stayed with me as long as he could and when it came court time the case was dismissed. Again, I was alone for the court experience. Eww, I could kick my young ass for tolerating such behaviors
            I love any type of track racing but I’m terrified to go fast in a car. My ET takes over and I get mean. Have my life in those hands and act like a fool. I’d prefer to walk for sure.

          7. Asp Emp says:

            SP, wow, RE: you ending up in hospital. Even more wow that the case was dismissed. You weren’t to know, just like the majority, if not all, of us ‘victims’ of narcissism. Good that you’re now here.

          8. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Asp Emp, don’t get us confused. I thought you were talking about me!

          9. Sparham says:

            I forgot to mention that I sold my car to fix his after the accident. I’d been on my own since I was 17 so I didn’t have anyone pointing out what a dumbass I was. It confuses me that I provided golden periods while he relished as the recipient. It was never the other way around. Up until recently I did nice things and purchased thoughtful gifts during respite periods. I’ve often said I should have been a nun for all the forgiving I have in me. Had one of my kids been part of this type of mayhem I would have lost all of my composure.

          10. Asp Emp says:

            S, thank you for sharing that. But, bloody hell, selling your car = far less ‘independence’. You are not a ‘dumbass’ – far from it. You just didn’t know. End of. You were 17, very young. You saying about being a ‘nun’ – reminded me of my grandmother (from father’s side) – she says to me one day, your should be a nurse. LOL, my response? “I do not have the patience to be one” LOL. I understand, your kids can be a great source of ‘stability’ which would help a lot of mothers in your position.

        2. lickemtomorrow says:

          Gloves are very classy, but sometimes a frying pan is necessary, NA.

          Say for the likes of our narc in the kitchen on his laptop. He’s getting the frypan 😛

          1. Asp Emp says:

            LET! Laughing…… kitchen & laptop – you would, wouldn’t you? Laughing….”He’s getting the frypan” – hilarious.

        3. Bubbles says:

          Dearest NarcAngel,
          I luv your style, no muckin about ! Hahahahaha I just couldn’t swing the bloody thing …..too damned heavy 🤣 although I do believe a mini frypan could do the same trick
          I’m saddened to hear your sister’s still going ahead with the wedding …… why oh why oh why ???
          Plus purchasing a place in an isolated area 15 hours away 😱
          ‘Camping’ …… yeah right …. that’s another name for it …. is he also gay ? He goes away alone…… sure he does …. then meets up with whom ever !!! Good ploy
          Sooo she continues working and he retires early … sounds right on par for a narc !
          Sooooo many red flags …. it’s just a real pity your sister can’t see it.
          Thank you for the update NA…. it must be a real bummer for you not to be able to get thru to her and make her see the light

          We haven’t seen our son since Mother’s Day.
          Our relationship is very different now…..never mind ! Thank you NA 💕
          Luv Bubbles xx 😘

          1. Asp Emp says:

            Hey, Bubbles, a mini frying pan – get two – one for each hand….. (I am laughng too hard at this one!!)……

  3. A Victor says:

    The last time this article came around I commented that it made me giggle. This time, with a little more understanding and maybe a bit of a negative attitude at the moment, it makes me nauseous and angry at narcissism and the truth within this article. It has been true of all the narcs in my life, take, take, take in every way they can. It is disgusting and wrong. And the worst part is, as wrong as it is there is no recourse, nothing to do about it except get away from them.

    1. Eternity says:

      A Victor well said. I am so glad I Escaped! I never thought I could, but I am a lot stronger than I thought ! Now I need them to all stay of of my life for good.I have been in this blog for a few years and changed my name once for different reasons. Now I don’t care and living my life to its fullest.

      1. A Victor says:

        Thank you for sharing that Eternity. It is uplifting to read.

        1. Eternity says:

          You are so so welcome A Victor . It is just really hard to trust again. I wanna believe in love and give someone my whole heart one day it will take time .

          1. A Victor says:

            Yes, same here.

  4. SParham says:

    I had double whammy’s of these rules in both my professional and personal life. Owning a business with my narc husband since ‘95 and living with him – he’s never changed these rules. On the side I worked for and with narc artists. Both of these men applied these rules and I didn’t see it. All I knew was I was miserable working myself to exhaustion. Nothing was good enough for these beasts. One day I’m the best, the next I’m to blame for all their issues. Both artist side jobs ended with a physical attack from each one after years of trying. I felt as if it was me. The whole world around me loved me but these fools acted as if I was shit. I don’t change my personality towards anyone, certainly they saw something others missed? It wasn’t until recently that those mofo’s shrank in my memory power. Yay to HG! I’m left embarrassed (<~~ hateful ET) that I allowed it to lessen me for far too long. I want others to learn now and feel the relief. I want to prevent young people from falling into the trap. Finally some psychology that makes sense! 👍🏼💐

    1. NarcAngel says:

      SParham

      Welcome. It is a huge relief isn’t it? Don’t waste time being embarrassed. We have been given the key here so we don’t waste any more time and that’s all that matters. We can help to prevent others from falling into the trap or escaping the one they’re in, by sharing the links and helping them find their way here also.

      1. Duchessbea says:

        NA, very much agree.

  5. Eternity says:

    The only person that I will ever belong to is me,myself and I and no one else.

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The Rules of Seduction