HG Mauls the Cadres

 

IT IS TIME TO MAUL

Somatic (1) and Somatic (2)

Cerebral

Victim

Elite – available Friday 9th July

7 thoughts on “HG Mauls the Cadres

  1. annaamel says:

    Hello AV. The empath cadres are valuable, I honestly do agree. I just reckon if we are talking about people getting together, finding each other appealing in some way, and we are also talking about empaths ending up in relationships that are less than ideal, then there might be other factors to consider besides how we act once in the relationship or who is drawn to us or even any addiction to a narcissist. Even if they are all still very important factors and have to be examined.

    You suggested that if you had to choose a narcissist cadre then you’d pick elite and that’s because you value intellect and thinking and you also value more material things like looks and ‘finer things.’ This would be in yourself and in others. What stood out to me, then, was you saying that that narcissists you’d been involved with (who you attracted) were Somatic narcissists. I wonder why they are the ones that are drawn to you (rather than elite narcissists).

    Of course, whoever you’d get involved with is ideally not a narcissist at all. It seems like this could be your ideal partner then: 1) Intelligent, interested in things, open minded 2) reasonably good looking, physically inclined and with an enviable lifestyle (I never quite know how to describe the somatic beyond physical appearance..) and 3) Not manipulative, not deceitful, not selfish, not aggressive, not neglectful, not inconsiderate, not boastful, not unusually charismatic, not flashy, not overwhelming (even if in a good way initially). It is possible to find someone to satisfies all these criteria. When you were with those somatic narcissists then you only had No.1. That’s not enough. Even 1 and 2 are not sufficient. If something absolutely had to give, it would be 1 or 2 but ideally not.

    You deserve to have 1, 2 and 3, AV. And all HGs guidance can help you make sure you find real 3s.

    But thankyou very much for your response, I appreciated reading it.

  2. annaamel says:

    I was thinking about Narcissist cadres – somatic, cerebral, elite. I thought it’s a bit naff that they get all these cool categories identifying what floats their boats, while us empaths have cadres based on what kind of helpful we are or how we attach. Rude!

    We can identify what matters to us! We can say what we find appealing! So I’m going to ask to the empaths on the forum: which of these three cadres – Somatic, Cerebral or Elite – would you consider yourself to be? (We won’t be needing victim)

    Somatic: you’re into looks – face and bodies, physical activity (sport, sex) and material things – nice clothes, nice car, nice house, glamour, showy holidays. You want a good looking partner who is into physical activity and has nice stuff.

    Cerebral: you’re into ideas, knowing things, learning, and interested in other people’s knowledge. You want a partner who’s intelligent and interested in learning more.

    Elite: both these descriptions apply to you and you’d want both a partner with all those attributes. (I will admit I’m not sure if an elite has to value both the somatic and cerebral element equally or whether one can be a bit of a higher priority than the other. If HG hasn’t looked away in disgust at this blasphemous inversion of a post he may be able to clarify)

    Presumably there’d be degrees of how much we cared about all this – just how physically appealing or smart or someone had to be (or we wanted to be). It could be okay if our standards are high or fairly reasonable or realistic.

    I’ll get it out of the way and say kindness is always my personal first priority. It matters a lot to me that I am kind (not that I always succeed) and it similarly matters a lot to me if someone else is kind, so much so that if that’s missing I don’t give any further consideration, even if the other attributes are dazzling. But if that’s there, and that test is passed, it’s cadre time!

    Intelligence is extremely important to me but perhaps more than that it’s having a good, objective grasp of the big picture. I don’t like ignorance in others or a lack of curiosity or preparedness to think and reconsider. I value knowing and understanding in myself and it’s important to me that I keep learning. All this would probably put me squarely in the cerebral cadre.

    However……I can be swayed by pretty, and am not immune to handsomeness or muscle tone or agility or nice hair or ability to shoot hoops. I wish I was less affected, and I don’t know if it’s hardwiring or conditioning, but maybe it’s a bit of both. I apply it to myself too – I try to look as good as I can without devoting what I consider to be excessive time to it, I spend money on clothes and my hair and I’ll choose a nice kitchen table that costs more than a less nice one – all fairly somatic things. But —— intelligence and wisdom tops the somatic stuff every time in both myself and in terms of others – and if something had to give, I’d always prioritise what’s inside rather than what’s outside. I can’t say, though, that I’ve ever met a person who was kind and clever who looked bad to me. It’s like kindness and an ideal level of smarts just makes someone look better.

    I’d consider myself Elite if it allowed me to like both but ultimately prioritise brains over brawn, but if it didn’t, I’d be a cerebral.

    So I put it to my fellow blog empaths:

    What narcissist Cadres might you be?

    1. Heidi says:

      Hello annaamel,
      I personally find HG’s empathic cadres much more meaningful than the narcissistic ones. Right now I’ve read more about the empathic ones I must confess, being interested in kind of awareness of myself.
      More interesting than putting myself as an empath into the narcisisstic cadres I would find it to classify narcissists from empath’s view: our addiction is there. Howto satisfy it best? How would we benefit best from this energy? And the energy a narcissist gives us? Somatic, cerebral, elite are no satisfying categories for me, but to answer your question I’d put myself out of somatic, leaves only cerebral left.

      1. annaamel says:

        Thankyou for your thoughtful reply, Heidi.

        My post was a bit tongue in cheek but I still think it has some value. I am also interested in the empath schools and cadres (and I’ve made posts on these as well) but I wonder if sometimes empaths feel they are bound to be ensnared by a sexy narcissist because they are addicted to them and narcissists seek them out – and they give up a bit of agency in their partner selection. From reading comments on this blog, I can tell that many empaths here have distinct qualities that appeal to them. If I take HG, for instance, I can tell many here find him very attractive (in that he attracts their attention and participation here) and I suspect that for the majority, it’s because he’s smart. He’s also fairly kind here, which may help. Perhaps some are motivated by some more somatic drivers – that his voice sounds deep and mellifluous, and he talks about buying his significant others’ cars – and has a good income and a nice house etc.. He’s a bit domineering too – that is probably a somatic trait that has appeal. I can’t presume that all those things are not factors as well.

        I think it’s valuable for empaths and anyone in or looking to have relationships to consider what pushes their attraction buttons. The times I believe I have lost my moral or logical compass points in relationships are when I have been captured by qualities that appeal to me – cleverness , kindness of purpose overall, physical appeal. I have stayed in situations even if I’ve realised the person’s treatment of me is not as kind as I’d like it to be because I am blinded by the appeal of their other qualities. This happened more when I was younger, but I am sure I am not alone in having occasionally found myself in this predicament.

        I think it’s important to be aware of what our attachment styles are like, and what our vulnerabilities are in terms of both how empathic we are but also in what qualities attract us – so what makes us most susceptible to being ensnared by others. If we know that we are particularly attracted to intelligence or looks or prestige or material wealth, then we we can decide whether those qualities are really what matters most to us in relationships. We might decide that while those qualities attract us, the other person treating us extremely well, with kindness and respect and love, is more important and if that is missing, then the other qualities are not enough.

        Heidi, do you know what your empath school or cadre is? I found out mine and it was very helpful for me.

      2. annaamel says:

        I have a further question, Heidi.

        You wrote: ‘..our addiction is there. How to satisfy it best? How would we benefit best from this energy? And the energy a narcissist gives us?’

        I don’t understand exactly what you mean here. Can you explain?

    2. A Victor says:

      Hi Annaamel, I think this has been discussed a tiny bit previously, but I love the empath cadres, I find them much richer and more fulfilling than the narcissist cadres. I feel like they can be taken in so many various directions in different people and yet the narc ones are much more static. That said, I think I would be an Elite, my dad was one, my mom is a victim, which does not fit me. I love intellectual stimulation, it’s a need, but also love fine things, looking good etc. It feels awkward to say this, I’m likely not correct either. I have only attracted Somatic narcs romantically.

  3. Asp Emp says:

    A good introduction video, HG.

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