If You Leave The Narcissist

IF-YOU-LEAVE-THE-NARCISSIST

 

The narcissist senses that the grip on the victim is under threat in the dynamic between narcissist and Intimate Partner Primary Source. A Preventative Hoover follows – can you establish which school and cadre of narcissist (or narcissists?) is delivering these Preventative Hoovers?

If you leave me I shall surely die and you cannot want that on your conscience can you? If you leave me now, everything that we have built up together will come crashing down around us. Why would you want to do that? Why destroy what we have. Yes, I know that things have not been as good between us lately, but it is not the time to focus on those few bad things but rather to remember what we had, what we have and to treasure that. We are meant to be together. We are bound together as one and I cannot allow you to leave and break what should be unbreakable. How could you countenance doing such a thing? We work so well together, have I not given you love that is beyond anything else you have ever experienced before? You said as such yourself. You have written about it so many times in those beautiful letters that you composed for me, a perfect partner to the expressions of love, passion and desire that I have spoken so many times to you. We have that perfect love, we have just lost our way a little, that is all. We can soon find it again, trust me. We found one another at the beginning didn’t we? Two lost souls who had both been hurt by others before, we saw enough in one another to trust one another with recounting those painful memories didn’t we? We were fated to meet. It was meant to be and if we were able to find ourselves amidst the fog of hurt and regret then surely we can find our way again now? I will do whatever is required to make you stay with me. I cannot let something this precious trickle through my fingers, not now, not after everything that we have said and done.

We have such plans for the future. We want to marry one another and raise a family. That desire cannot have evaporated overnight. No, I thought as much, I can see it in your eyes. Look at me and you will see a man who will be nothing more than a wretched soul if he was to lose you. You are everything to me, you are my north star, my guiding light, my sense of calm and serenity when all is chaos around us. I need you and you need me. We fit together so well. Everybody says that about us. What hope is there for the rest of the world if they see those icons of a perfect love torn asunder? Who will they look to for comfort and encouragement? We not only have an obligation towards one another but to them as well. There is too much darkness out there. Too much hurt, agony and cruelty and we can stand together and be that shining beacon of hope. Do it for me, do it for them, do it for us. Please, I am collapsing inside. The thought of never waking beside you ever again fills me with the most terrible dread. If you leave me, you will rip out the core of me and I will perish. There will be no purpose without you. Everything will become grey, ashen and dark. All colour will be drained from my world if you walk away now. Please do not do it. Please stay with me. I want you to be happy. I want to be happy. I want us to be happy together. There is so much we have not yet done, so many worlds to experience together, to conquer and rule. You are the one who sits at my left hand, my queen. Whatever is needed, just say the words and I will execute what is required but please, please, I am begging you, do not leave me. I love you.

If you leave me I shall ensure you die and believe me, it will not trouble my conscience. If you leave me now, everything that you know and cherish will come crashing down around you. Why would I want to do that? Why destroy what you have? Because you deserve it for your selfishness and your disdain towards me, after everything that I have done for you. Yes, I know that things have not been as good between us lately, but that is because you have not made the time to focus on me and you would rather forget what we had, what I gave you and to treasure me. We will always be together. You will not escape me. I will make it my sole mission in my life to ensure you never become free of me. We are bound together as one, you accepted that from the beginning and I cannot allow you to leave and break what I am entitled to. How could you countenance doing such a thing? How could you hurt the one who has done so much for you? I know how, because you are a fraud, a cruel temptress who swept me up and promised the earth and then delivered nothing. Oh wicked harridan, seditious slut and cruel crone you are. I worked so hard to bring us together, have I not given you love that is beyond anything else you have ever experienced before? You said as such yourself. You have written about it so many times in those beautiful letters that you composed for me, a perfect partner to the expressions of love, passion and desire that I have spoken so many times to you. Well understand this. I meant none of it. I have never loved you, you do not deserve my love, I will give it to someone who will appreciate it and give me what I want, but I will not let you rest. I will not let you walk away from me. You have a price to pay and you will keep on paying. I have created the perfect love and you have trodden all over it. If you try to leave I can soon find you again, trust me. My reach is far and wide. You have no idea of those who are waiting to help me and bring you down. I found you at the beginning didn’t I? That wasn’t me acting alone, I can promise you that. You a broken and lost soul who had been hurt by others before, I saw enough in you to endure you recounting those painful memories didn’t I? Oh I listened alright, storing all the details and I will use them against you now. I will scatter them to the four winds, posting and spreading details of your vulnerabilities far and wide. Not only those but all of the others I have collected whilst we have been together. Oh I have quite the collection and I will not hesitate to use them to destroy you. We were not fated to meet, I chose you. It was meant to be and I will find you again amidst the fog of hurt and regret that I will weave around you so you cannot see a way to escape. I will do whatever is required to make you stay with me. I cannot let something this precious trickle through my fingers, not now, not after everything that we have said and done.

I have such plans for the future. I want to marry another and raise a family and I will keep you updated as to that progress so you are tormented by what you could have had, but you chose to be selfish and leave. That malicious intent will not evaporate overnight, you do realise that don’t you? No, I thought as much, I can see the fear in your eyes. Look at me and you will see a man who will turn you into nothing more than a wretched shadow of your former self. I am everything to you, I will be the clouds which obscure your waystar, I will snuff out your light, I will eradicate any sense of calm and serenity by sowing chaos all around you. You need me more than ever. My machinations fit together so well. Everybody will know how treacherous you are if you dare to leave me. What hope is there for the rest of the world if they see this icon of perfection treated so unfairly? Who will they look to for leadership and brilliance? I not only have an obligation towards myself but to my supporters as well. There is much darkness out there for you, all created by me. Much hurt, agony and cruelty and my supporters will and can stand together and be that relentless machine that crushes you. Do it and see what happens. Please me or you will collapse inside. The thought of never sleeping properly again will fill you with dread because I will always be there, waiting and watching. If you leave me, I will rip your heart out and consume it. There will be no purpose left for you. Everything will become grey, ashen and dark. All colour will be drained from your world if you walk away now. Do not do it. Stay with me. I want you to be controlled. I want to control you. I want and I will get it. There is so much I have not yet done to you, so many worlds of yours to conquer and rule. You are the one who lies broken at my feet, my conquest. Whatever is needed, I will say the words and I will execute what is required to make your life a living hell but I am ordering you, you will not leave me. I hate you.

12 thoughts on “If You Leave The Narcissist

  1. Joa says:

    I don’t know much about narcissist frames, but both my first and second narcissists used all 4 stages (paragraphs). Each with a different intensity.

    The first narcissist made the least use of stage three. He is currently in the fourth stage (for 17 years !!!). I am already bored with his travels and women. Sometimes he approaches as a “friend”, sometimes he strokes my ego (“You are the most important person in my life”, “I wish I had let you go”, “I remember your eyes, feet, smell …”). Now I should have some peace of mind because the current girl has blended in very much with him. It will definitely be a longer relationship (2-4 years). I feel sorry for her. I don’t know if this girl will pick herself up. It looks terribly fragile. In any case, he will talk less.

    And “my” narcissist. Master especially of the third stage. Revenge. Until I laughed at the words: “My mission will become …” – they are so familiar to me. Word for word, I could quote this paragraph. He was also slowly entering the fourth stage. I had to take a break from him and I ignore him, don’t reply to messages. This will surely ignite his anger. He may not take it and go back to stage three – or reject me for a new relationship.

    I’m ready. Whatever happens – or doesn’t happen. I have distanced myself and I am myself again.

  2. BC30 says:

    Although, I was the one to leave— same.

  3. Robin Peterson says:

    I’ve left all previous ones. Two fiancé’s and 1 husband.
    In the process of leaving the last.
    Your work, including assistance package and videos have greatly helped me with this current soon to be ex bozo.
    Thanks Again

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You are welcome.

  4. Reland McClure says:

    Wow! I’m not the one who left but experienced it as if I had. Basically, I would not go back, ever & made that crystal clear. I was the bad one to his self righteous victim act.

  5. witchybrat says:

    As I was reading this all I could think was what a manipulative jerk. And how can anyone fall for this. I can see the light!

  6. Another Cat says:

    I love these puzzles, HG.

    The last section is a speech no one ever said to me and it’s a bit akin to words of Christopher Lee-Saruman. I say it’s from a Greater narcissist.

    The second haughty section I have heard all too well so that’s an Upper Midrange.

  7. jasmin says:

    MMRB, MMRA, LG and UG? They all seem Elite or possibly Cerebral for the greaters?

  8. AJ says:

    God…this is so accurate. 🙁

  9. Asp Emp says:

    I remember this one & my comment I posted last year (without re-reading it)……giggling…..

    1. vandenboss says:

      Can you remember whether last year did you not answer the school and cadre question as well? 😉

      1. Asp Emp says:

        Vandenboss, I gave my own ‘examples’ where the ice cream was involved 😉 – not including the cadres though.

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