20 Bullets From the Pomposity Pistol

To say that my kind and me have a high opinion of ourselves is to put it too low. We are superior, of an elevated status and ethereally stunning and wonderful. Our achievements are magnificent, our accomplishments legion and we leave you mere mortals trailing in our wake. Anybody who tells you that narcissists suffer from low self-esteem does not understand narcissism.

We know you look on, slack-jawed and wide-eyed, a mixture of awe and envy washing over you. How good it must be to be like us, you wonder. Well not only are we spectacular and scintillating we are generous too, so generous that I can share with you twenty of our excessively vain and self-centred comments.

You may have heard a number of these said to you, about you or just uttered in your general earshot as we gaze nobly towards the horizon. If you have, you know you are dealing with one of our kind and that we wholeheartedly believe these comments irrespective of how pompous, hypocritical ,vain or ridiculous they may sound.All that matters to us is ensuring we gain a reaction to them.

Here are twenty bullets which the narcissist will fire from The Pomposity Pistol which you need to dodge.

1. I don’t complain, I advise.
2. I do, I am not done to.
3. Don’t be sorry. Be accurate.
4. I turn heads. I turn sexual preferences.
5. I own you.
6. I have every right to do this.
7. I never lie.
8. I achieved all this without any help whatsoever.
9. I made you what you are today.
10. I am very much in touch with my feelings.
11. I hate liars.
12. It is all down to me.
13. I am a god.
14. If it wasn’t for me, nothing would get done round here.
15. I think of everyone but myself. I am too giving at times.
16. It can be hard being this well-loved.
17. I cannot help being so popular.
18. They are my people. They get understand me,
19. Everyone wants to either be me or be with me.
20. I am the puppet master and the piper. Deal with it.