Promiscuous Boy



I remember the day, or more accurately that the floodgates were opened on my promiscuity. It was when I attended a particular university for the purposes of an admission interview. It was early December and this historic and beautiful university city was lit up by orange and yellow lamps as a little mist clung to the narrow alleyways and courtyards. I had concluded my two interviews (read Fury if you want to know more about how they progressed and how one interview impacted on me) and returned to the junior common room to meet up with two other candidates.

They were applying to the same college but to read a different subject to me. They were both English literature students. He was from Greenock in Scotland and she was a bookbinder’s daughter from Cambridge in England. Beer was consumed, stories swapped and the fellow from Greenock retired to his room. The bookbinder’s daughter, she was called Sarah, came back to my room and we talked before we climbed into bed together. I had a girlfriend at the time and whilst there had been dalliances with other girls I had not slept with another. That changed that night. And in the morning too.

Sarah wandered away across the quadrangle to her room and I rose from my bed to seek out the bathroom. She decided to stay another day at the college because she wanted to spend time with me. I was happy for her to do so as I waited around, as was customary, in case an interview arose at another college.  The following day we both departed, she to the east and me to the west and once I alighted at the train station near to my girlfriend’s house I went straight round to see her. She was pleased to see me and embraced me with enthusiasm. I returned the enthusiasm. I had no sense of guilt at my infidelity. Nothing at all. Instead I revelled in the way I had taken Sarah to my bed and now strode into my then girlfriend’s bedroom with her asking with admiration how my interview had progressed and what the college was like.

Following that first time I never looked back. I cheated left, right and centre. With that girlfriend and with all subsequently. Why did I do it? Way back then I realised how good it made me feel but I had no understanding of why I actually did it. Something always drove me to do it. I realised that the relevant girlfriend would be upset if she knew what I had done but this never stopped me. I never gave it a second thought.

Even as I was locked in an embrace with some relative stranger and an image of the girlfriend formed in my mind I felt no tug of conscience, remorse or guilt. All I knew was that I was able to seduce, pull, entice and ensnare everywhere I went. I would meet someone and always find something attractive about them – it might be the colour of their hair, the length of their legs, their accent, the way they rolled the letter r, the fact they drank with a straw or the size of their breasts. It might be their enthusiasm for a particular band, their recollections of travelling or the manicured nails. Each and everyone had some kind of attraction.

I could not resist trying to ensnare someone in order to bring them under my spell. It was then that I realised what it was that really drew me to them, it was the promise of their attention. I realised I was able to get them hooked on me. I had convinced myself that I was drawn to them for some other reason but it dawned on me that I was just telling myself that as a reason. A reason that I required to explain this compelling desire to couple with someone. But that was not the real reason. The truth was that I wanted their attention on me and this was the way to get it.

Yes it was pleasant engaging in that first kiss and I enjoyed the sensations that arose when the embrace escalated but it was not what I actually I wanted. I wanted them to praise me. I wanted them to become transfixed by me and for them to shine their spotlight firmly on me.  The promiscuity has always continued and it does not matter who with it is the fact that I am able to do seduce and by so doing gather that starry-eyed admiration, those pleasing words and the attention. This engagement does not end with behaving in a promiscuous fashion. I will engage in discussions with a stranger of my own sex,at a bar, a railway platform or in a lift. I have no desire to seduce them sexually for that is not my preference but I do cause them to like me and in so doing give me that fuel that I need.

Often I feel like admitting my repeated transgressions straight away to the relevant girlfriend of the time but I have no desire to puncture my primary source of fuel by doing this. I do find it interesting how they always react with such alarm and distress on the odd occasion I do make such a confession. If I tell them how well I got on with a random male in an exchange at a bar, someone with whom I have swapped views, thoughts and opinions, I receive a smile and a comment of,

“Always good to make new friends.”

Yet an admission of coupling with a stranger results in hysteria even though to me these interactions are similar. Yes, one might yield greater fuel than the other but in terms of intimacy they are equally redundant. That is not why I do it. I do not do it because I want to savour the sensation of another’s mouth against me. I do it because I want them to give me fuel. I can understand how you may be aghast if in a normal relationship a partner behaves with infidelity but to our kind it just about the attention, the admiration, the fuel. You have such a great hang up because sex is involved. That is just the gateway device to me. If I could get the attention another way so that it provides such fuel then believe me I will do it. However, in your world, on the whole, the act of a sexual union accords a greater connection between two people which means you yield more fuel and are more inclined to keep providing it as you seek more from the liaison.

Our promiscuity arises to enable us to achieve fuel. From the new target who is seduced by us and from you should we alert you in some way (either in whole or in part) to our new interest. The condemnation that is attached to promiscuity when in a relationship means that your reaction just provides us with even more fuel. There is a risk of your supply being punctured by this revelation but it is a calculated risk and is often done when the quality of your supply generally has started to wane.

To us promiscuity when in a relationship is merely a means to an end. To you, well, you behave as if it is the end of the world. It really isn’t.

18 thoughts on “Promiscuous Boy

  1. Empath007 says:

    This article always raises the question – can sexuality be a separate entity from the narcissim ? I do personally know Gay narcissists (not bi sexual narcs – although I know some of them as well) but Gay – I can’t believe a narc such as Elton John truly wasn’t sexually attracted to men. Or Hugh Hefner was not attracted to women (although truthfully I wouldn’t be surpriSed if Hugh swung all sorts of ways !)

    Narcissits are still human – they have nerve endings like everybody else. They are comprised of genes, hormones, muscle and skin like everybody else. Therefore – there must be some aspects of their personality’s that are somewhat unique ? While the behaviour pattern follows a certain formula for the most part – they are still sexual beings. Even if sex has nothing to do with true intimacy.

  2. Asp Emp says:


  3. Wendy says:

    Quite a trigger…..

  4. A Victor says:

    “I enjoyed the sensations that arose when the embrace escalated but it was not what I actually I wanted. I wanted them to praise me. I wanted them to become transfixed by me and for them to shine their spotlight firmly on me.”
    Could you get enough fuel from an IPPS without the sex? Would it be possible?

    1. HG Tudor says:


      1. Empath007 says:

        Are there any articles/logic bullitons that describe wounding ? I’m curious what emotion (if any) this would resemble for us empaths to relate or understand.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          “Finally Understanding Wounding.” in the Knowledge Vault.

      2. Empath007 says:

        But narcissists have hormones do they not ? Isn’t s narcissist still capable of feeling “horny” (I hate that word) … but there must be some moments in time that they crave sex. I can completely understand they don’t regard it as a intimate act, and that it is a good source of fuel …. but biologically we are built to populate the species … so there is a component of want there .., is there not ?

        Sometimes the description of a narcissist seems inhuman – as if they are a different species all together. But they are in fact human – we all have to go to the washroom, we all have to shower, we are all prone to getting disease, we all have hormones – and we all desire sexual interaction every now and then. I’d say the narcissist even more so then the empath – because we don’t need the fuel. I haven’t had sex in 3 years. I crave it obviously – but view men as a total waste of my time, I have more important things to do… but I still crave it.

        1. A Victor says:

          Empath007, I think they only appear to crave it if it’s is the quickest and/or easiest way to obtain fuel. I think if they get the physical desire they just take care of it themselves, unless there is someone there from whom they can control or get fuel from by using them, basically. There is no intimacy nor any need for intimacy except as it furthers the prime aims.

          1. Empath007 says:

            definitely they could take care of the urge themselves – but that means that there is occasionally an urge.

            H.G. – do narcs have better sexual “chemistry” with empaths then they would another narc ? Or is fuel the same regardless of the source ?

          2. HG Tudor says:

            Fuel is in accordance with what is explained in the book “Fuel”.
            The “chemistry” is infatuation driven by the narcissism’s need for the prime aims (which the empath supplies the best) on the narcissists side and emotional thinking on the empaths side.

          3. BC30 says:

            So…about that….I kinda sorta met someone over the weekend but he lives 2000 miles away. I need someone to bring me off Cloud 9.

          4. A Victor says:

            On dear, two thoughts, cloud 9 after a weekend is concerning. Also, I am so the wrong person to do that! Haha, I am so looking forward to that myself right now!

            Back to reality, 2000 miles!! WTF are you thinking?!

            Did it help? 😂

            Okay, at the least, be careful, take it slow, build organically, go to the evidence, bounce things off us and HG. It is so hard when we get that addiction going! But that alone tells us a lot!

    2. lisk says:

      Great question, A Victor!

      1. A Victor says:

        Thank you Lisk, the reply of course leaves me with more questions!

  5. Duchessbea says:

    If we cheated on you, would that be wounding?

    1. HG Tudor says:


      1. Duchessbea says:

        Right okay. Thank you HG.

Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.