MatriNarc
Both Dr O and Dr E (the good doctors) repeatedly like to ask me about my childhood. I do not like to talk about it. I tell them that I do not like to and the reason for that is that I do not remember much about it and therefore I feel uncomfortable talking about something which I do not feel in control of. Everyone is like that though aren’t they? If you are making a presentation but you only have half the material, you feel uncomfortable don’t you? I you are asked a question by somebody but you do not have all the information to hand, you feel uneasy. I explained that was my response and that it was an entirely understandable one. I’m not telling them the real reason behind my recalcitrance. Not a chance.
Unfortunately, Dr O then gets the bit between her teeth in one of our sessions and decides she would like to talk to me about family.
“Who has pinched your bagel this week then? Your brother or your sister?” I shot back seeking to deflect her. She ignored my remark and pressed on.
“Is there anybody in your immediate family you would like to discuss with me?” she asked.
“No.”
“Why?”
Where do I start ? Why would I want to talk about people I rarely bother with (save my brother)? Why is it that these people assume that I have some overriding desire to discuss a group of people who I am related to but have nothing in common with? What is the obsession?
I remained silent.
“Okay, how about I choose a family member and you tell me three things that you like about them and three things that you do not like about them. Just as something to start our conversation?” she suggested.
I remained silent.
“How about your mother?” she asked and looked at me expectantly.
I got up and left the room. I’m not playing that game with Dr O. No way.
5 thoughts on “MatriNarc”
Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)
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I recall this date 11th September, twenty years ago.
The atrocity in America. This is what I thought about today, I felt sadness.
It was also the same day that muvver moved from the South to the North. This is not what I thought about today until I wrote this comment, I felt nothing.
Queen Mother. This is the hardest topic in the case of “my” narcissist. Very, very dark. A female narcissist with a face full of sacrifice, sophisticated elegance and life wisdom.
She was seducing me at the same time, as her son. Every day and every day. Her blows hurt me more than his blows. I can forgive him. I can’t her.
Unfortunately, he did not manage to get away from her. And he won’t succeed anymore ☹
HG,
I feel for you when I read this. On the one hand it shows you dislike Matrinarc, but on the other hand it also shows you fear and respect Matrinarc. Reading this, I very much want to give you a hug.
Best,
DB
I became estranged from my mother 10 or 15 years ago after she told me that she ‘wished I was never born’. Covert Narc, I’m guessing … when I was growing up her regular thing was pills, valium, and threats of suicide; it was quite traumatic at the time. On one occasion she rammed up the stairs with a 22 shot gun in hand and my dad and I had to flee the house in the dark of the night for a Ramada Inn (I remember it was winter and I had no shoes on; really tested my vulnerability). You can take a lot of people wishing you had never been born. But, when it comes from your mother there is a particular Edge on it that just causes you to flee – based on principle, and sound judgement.
My mother apparently said the same thing to my brother. I didn’t hear it, but I believed him (he passed a few years ago.)