The Tinder Swindler : Part One
8 thoughts on “The Tinder Swindler : Part One”
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The part about how he appears to want to be honest and open…I fell for something similar.
I think it’s a thing that happens a lot. So, where Simon could have held back on sharing that he had a previous serious relationship and a child, he shares it openly – in an apparent gesture of honesty on his part and at the same time exhibiting *trust* in his victim.
It’s only a facade of truthfulness and because we think that the individual (Simon, in this case) COULD have hidden this, but didn’t, we interpret it to mean he is being honest and forthright.
It’s an example of the ‘half-truth’.
And we can’t see, at the time, that is denotes a sense of entitlement, lack of boundary recognition – and an absence of emotional empathy.
Because, really – who, with any sense of emotional empathy, would intentionally allow their child to meet a romantic partner who may only end up as a one night stand?
While watching the film, I actually thought for a minute that he could be a Greater narcissist. This is because I thought his conning techniques, deception, and trickery were ingenious even though he’s cruel. From my perspective, his manipulations seemed pre-planned and calculated. Especially, when he sent the picture of his bloodied bodyguard to his victims.
However, I do know from HG’s work that most narcissists are unaware and behave unconsciously. I’ve fallen prey many times into thinking that narcissists are calculating who plot and plan when that’s definitely not the case. I do believe many people will see this film and think that this conman & fraudster is a puppet master or a grand chess master. When in reality, he’s probably some unaware lesser or mid-range narcissist.
Another reason he can’t be a Greater is that he’s begged many times for money which a Greater will probably never do since they feel superior and are generally extremely wealthy. Also, a Greater will be better at covering their tracks and not getting caught. Ayleen definitely one-upped Simon and a Greater would’ve been much harder to take down.
Anyways, looking forward to finding out his school & cadre. Also, looking forward to finding out the classifications of the three ladies as well.
I’m feeling a little overwhelmed with this first video.
It makes it all so real, the narcissistic dynamic in play, her vulnerability and his machinations to ensnare her. I think that’s what is troubling me the most, down to your ability, HG, to describe her position at that time as an IPSS who has been put on the shelf. It is all so cut and dried, and yet there is a broken heart, or a heart waiting to be broken, underlying it all. That it can be seen so clearly in the breakdown is truly devastating in some ways to me. The level of disconnection on his part and the level of connection on hers. It’s so easy to identify with her – the promised gain, the threatened loss. I experienced that many times. The comfort crumbs to keep me hanging in there.
I also came to a new conclusion thanks to this video: care = control when it comes to the narcissist. The only reason the narcissist is caring is in order to assert control. I really need to absorb this one as it couldn’t be more succinct and yet more subtle, in that we respond to caring and rarely assume that it can have negative connotations. It is generally seen to be positive.
I’m really affected by this first video. I will make a cup of tea before proceeding to the next.
Thank you for the premiere, HG x
Oh no, I’m already seeing my guess was incorrect, too many pity plays for a greater…
Also, the flat voice, oh well, live and learn!
AV,
I guessed lower mid range somatic.