Unearthed Footage : Video Analysis of the Devaluation of Will Smith
31 thoughts on “Unearthed Footage : Video Analysis of the Devaluation of Will Smith”
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I hate the weary, run down, defeated, worn out look on victims of narcissists. I hate to see what narcs do to people, even formerly confident ones, Will and Harry included.
She is dismissive of Will’s feelings. She doesn’t care that he isn’t ok with being filmed, and doesn’t pretend to care. 404 facade not found. Presumptuous. She keeps using him to self-promote, and expects him to submit to and agree with her “don’t you think so and so helped”. Good on Will for speaking up and not pretending it’s okay, like I would. I hate her fixed face, the complete lack of concern or appearance of it. No feigned interest in what he thinks or feels.
I agree with all you said, HG. It’s sad that I am starting to see what you say, displayed.
YES HG, THANK YOU FOR SAYING THAT YOU CAN’T JUST “ASSERT BOUNDARIES”!
Since the Oscar slap and the media furore surrounding it, media articles focusing on other things are quite interesting.
Harpers Bazaar UK is described as a “‘womens fashion magazine” about “fashion, beauty, culture and art”. After the Oscars, they published an article about the “10 best dressed women at the Oscars”.
Jada made the list despite looking and behaving like the wicked witch of the West on the night. Jada in her ridiculous, unwearable gown is praised for wearing a “dream dress”.
It’s funny that Jada’s stylist, Georgia Medley, said about the dress choice, “I had a feeling she needed to be in green”. The stylist also gushed about the dress: “I wanted Jada to look and feel like herself, but on another level. It’s regal, elegant, fashion-forward and divine.”
I think many women would disagree.
The article quickly glossed over Will Smith’s assault of Chris Rock. The article said: “As we know, after the red-carpet appearance her family made headlines for other reasons – thanks to that on-stage altercation between Will Smith and Chris Rock, and Smith’s subsequent Best Actor win – but, prior to the event, her stylist Georgia Medley says she’d never seen her “so excited or happy” when trying on the dream dress.”
It sounds like Harpers Bazaar UK already planned a ‘best dressed’ article about the Oscars. It just so happened that Will’s slap created publicity that dovetailed conveniently with their article. They used the opportunity to write the headline: “The story behind Jada Pinkett Smith’s spectacular green Oscars dress”.
There’s no mention of narcissism, surprise surprise. No mention of the relationship between Will and Jada. No focus on the ‘women’s issue’ of unrestrained violence. No questioning of Jada’s suspicious lack of alopecia.
Why would a womens magazine mention those trivial matters when it had a designer dress to sell?
Another article since the Oscars about Jada Pinkett Smith was published in Elle US magazine, titled: “Jada Pinkett Smith stuns in gold dress during first appearance since Oscars”.
Again, the article is about Jada’s dress and accessories and what other celebrities were wearing when they appeared at the opening of a recent show. It is all about Jada’s ‘look’ fashion-wise. A photo shows her instagram post, which then redirects the online reader. The article says that Jada’s modern and glamorous dress “definitely stole the show”.
At the end of the article, the last paragraph states:
“Will Smith did not appear to be in attendance. The award winning actor was recently banned from attending to Oscars for ten years after striking Academy Awards host Chris Rock during this year’s broadcast.”
A clear example of how the narcissist walks away unscathed and unshaken and is even praised for their actions in the aftermath of the destruction their behaviour was instrumental in. Will Smith is now cast in the shadows as someone who did something shameful while the narcissist ‘steals the show’.
It reminds me of HG’s article ‘Why can’t they see it too?’
Okay, I’m back—after calming myself and allowing HG’s analysis to calm me further. Yes, you have convinced me and I am no longer that clown that sees WS as a narcissist.
It is so upsetting to be in that situation where one is dismissed and denigrated—and where one’s own words DO NOT MATTER. I just do not see any love there.
Of course Jada’s using sex-relationship ‘expert’ Esther Perel to justify her infidelity. Perel’s book, Mating in Captivity, is a bible for narcissists. In it, Perel out and out promotes triangulation in Chapter 10 The Shadow of The Third: Rethinking Infidelity.
I’m guessing Will Smith hates Esther Perel, and that added to the reason he didn’t appreciate the phone in his face.
Maybe HG can analyze Perel’s famous Ted Talk one day? She’s awful.
Lisk, reading your second paragraph, how you describe the ‘treatment’ of someone – this happened often at the last workplace I volunteered at. It ‘chips’ away at your self-confidence, self-esteem.
This video where you can clearly see Will struggling to maintain his posture, knowing that she was publicly degrading him. I could see his pain. He is not necessarily defenceless but in this particular clip, it is as clear as day.
HG, I just watched only the Jada video of Will Smith and I am reeling.
Once I calm down, I will come back to watch your measured analysis.
My thoughts about this clip changed over time from when I first saw it to after I had listened to HG’s analysis and thought about it.
I went from feeling very sad for Will at first and thinking that Jada is a cold, heartless witch; through to thinking that Will is so overwhelmed by his need to make the relationship work that he can’t see the wood for the trees; through to feeling irritated at both of them for making it all about them and their precious dysfunctional relationship.
I finished up thinking, for goodness sake, you’ve been together 25 years, you are both in your 50s, you have adult children, and you have everything anyone could possibly want materially and career-wise and then some. After all that, the two of them are still obsessing over making their marriage work and inviting the world to watch. I think they are both very self-absorbed and immature, particularly Jada.
I also thought how their effect on each other is spilling out and impacting other people. Their children have been adversely affected; Will committed an assault on Chris Rock at the Oscars; and Jada had an affair with August Alsina, a much younger man who was ill and going through addiction. How is that going to affect his life in the longer term?
I feel sad for Will because he is bearing the brunt of Jada’s abuse. However, both of them are causing their marriage to spiral downwards and affect other people as it does.
I like this analysis.
Thank you BC30
I agree with you on this and it makes me sick how she does this like a Nazi officer at a concentration camp
I found this really tough to watch. It wasn’t so much what Jada said, but rather just how deflated and ground down Will Smith looks here. He mouths, that hand to mouth self soothe attempt. He tries to keep hold of his anger but he tries to soothe away the stress whilst doing so. He knows what’s coming. The camera pans down and he has his hand squeezing his upper arm. More self soothing, imaginary hug. Her words are landing like blows. It’s extremely sad to watch.
I can’t abide a condescending tone. Red rag to a bull for me. My instinctive response would be to walk out when I hear that. It’s game over when people speak to you in that way. It’s not a mistake, a momentary lapse in judgement or an external stressor, it’s a character flaw and it’s a non negotiable. Irrespective of whether that tone is issued by a narc or non narc, it demonstrates complete contempt and utter disrespect. You can’t fix that, time to ship out.
As we know, he doesn’t go. He stays and takes it because he has lost his fight and his ET is sky high. It should never get to the point where you lose your fight, ever. I think that’s the part that upsets me most about this particular clip. I’ve been laid low but I’ve never lost my fight. I find it very difficult to watch another empath lose theirs.
I disagree, Tony. Having emotional thinking is important to controlling maladaptive behaviors. Controlling emotions with trained cognitive behavioral therapy is preferable.
TS,
I find your comment interesting. I can see you feel very strongly about Will’s body language and Jada’s condescending tone in this clip. I found it difficult to watch too. The emotional abuse is obvious and Will’s pain clearly stands out.
I’m wondering if the stark contrast between the upbeat, positive personality Will usually shows in films, interviews and the media compared to his emotionally downtrodden state in this clip has anything to do with your strong reaction? Perhaps seeing Will in such a different state than what you’re used to has a stronger impact?
You have said in a previous comment (if I recall correctly) that you’re a visual person. The vision of Will’s body language and manner here makes his emotional hurt very clear. It’s easy to see the abuse in this clip compared to say, on the red carpet where he’s smiling, shouting out to photographers and talking up his new movie.
I think Will (and probably most people) put on a positive or brave face in public whereas the reality at home when in private may be very different. I think Will is generally very good at covering up his hurt and maintaining his public image.
I thought it was interesting too that you said you “can’t abide a condescending tone”. That made me curious because I thought, but HG’s tone is condescending in many of the comments he makes here on the blog. I understand that HG is being funny and witty and his put-downs are almost expected, however, his tone is still condescending.
The strong aversion in your comment was you reacting to the clip and seeing Will so abused due to Jada’s manner. It was interesting to me though to consider it in a wider sense.
These videos are on my to do list for today. I can’t keep up with Mr. Tudor. He’s on fire, lol!
I watched the Red Table Talk analysis and had to stop watching and just listen to the analysis because I couldn’t look at Will anymore. I felt immense sadness for him. He looked sad, helpless and defeated. Every time she talked about her entanglement and called him “Aug”, I felt like she was just digging the knife deeper.
I hope he finds a way out.
Hey Leigh,
I haven’t watched the red table talk analysis yet. I think I’ll feel very similarly to how I feel about this video. Very “ Oh please don’t just stand there and take that Will. Stand up and fight.”
Fight to me isn’t about a huge blazing row. It’s about drawing in and sending out the cold. A case of “Line crossed, you get nothing from me now.” That’s the way I fight. Dull, boring, calm, cold. I think it stems from my relationship with my mum. Get her to lose it and jump up and down shouting and pulling faces and I won. I didn’t need to say or do anything at all. I just needed to stand in place, let her come at me, impassively watch her as she lost control. I did it time and time again with her. Nowadays it’s just a look. She sees me straighten, the shutters come down and she knows to back off.
Will didn’t need to do anything there. He just needed to stand still and look at her empty eyed. Empaths love to explain their actions though. We try to justify why no is no because really a lot of us don’t like to say no. We try to accommodate to the very best of our ability. He hasn’t reached a point of deciding “ This is just bollocks, I’m not doing this anymore.” As a CoDependent accommodating others gives him purpose, I am trying to work out where his trigger to leave might be. It might be in defence of his kids, though they probably add to his distress as opposed to alleviating it.
Incredibly sad to watch.
Xx
TS, I’m the complete opposite, lol! I explode and look like a lunatic. I react like your mom does. After learning about narcissism though, I don’t react like that anymore. I know it gives fuel and that stops me from exploding.
There are actually a couple of times when Will actually stands up for himself but its short lived. She asserts control pretty quickly. The end of the video proves that Will is very much under her control. Its very sad.
I hope he finds Mr. Tudor.
Leigh,
I think having Geyser in your cadre mix makes it far more difficult not to explode. I’d love to have some Geyser, I really enjoy reading the Geyser stories here on the blog. It seems to me there is a real life and honesty to the way those empaths express themselves and I can understand why that school is such a draw to the narcissist. It’s more of an unfettered emotion, I admire the freedom of expression of the Geyser cadre.
Xx
TS, Geyser is my favorite part. Shh… don’t tell the others, lol. I feel like its the one piece that’s about me. The Carrier and Savior pieces are about taking care of and saving others. The Geyser is about how I feel things. Yes, it may be triggered from an external event but its still my reaction based on my emotions and feelings. Its also how I release.
On the flip side of that, it has gotten me in trouble in the past. I’m very loud and animated. I talk loud. I laugh loud. I yell loud. I’ve been told to be quiet on many occasions. Also, sometimes my rambunctiousness rubs people the wrong way. Its ok though. I still love it and so I embrace it.
Leigh, I love what you said about your Geyser here! I had not thought of it this way before but now I think I can learn to like my little bit also! Thank you! It is the piece that’s just about me! 🤗
Yes!
Leigh,
Loud huh? Haha. You reminded me of HG’s article where he walks into a bar and people have a glow of red or pink around them denoting their empathy. You are deep pink but holding a megaphone!
I can understand the emotional release that your Geyser provides for you, and yes I think that cadre slice is likely more about you than your Saviour or Carrier. It must be very freeing to get those emotions out, even if that does get you into trouble occasionally!
I think my cadres and schools are very geared to defence. I have the Contagion there that gives the extra insight or the extra heads up. It’s always on, I’m always taking in emotions from others but I probably transmit less. My emotions are very targeted I suppose. There are those who see them and those who don’t.
My Magnet is my more playful slice. I often transmit emotion through humour and I tend to be towards the centre of a group, even though I don’t intentionally place myself there. I laugh a lot, I can see the funny side in lots of situations and people usually laugh with me. I’m still selective with my emotions, but less so when my Magnet is running the show.
You take the megaphone then, I’ll take the spinning bow tie!
Xx
TS, I knew you had Contagion but I didn’t know about Magnet. I definitely can see the Magnet in you. It makes complete sense. That’s why so many are drawn to you. I know I was drawn to you immediately.
I have only a little bit of Contagion and most of the time its off. I can’t imagine what its like for it to always be on. I feel like my Contagion and Geyser are almost linked. If I feel someone else’s feelings, its very intense. My feelings aren’t like that. I don’t know if I could handle that intensity all the time. Its why I had to stop watching the videos and only listen to Mr. Tudor’s analysis. Looking at Will and seeing his expressions through me off. I felt his sadness, anger, frustration. Once I stopped watching and only listened, I was good. I don’t know what triggers it. It doesn’t happen that often. I supposed its triggered because the emotions they are feeling at the time are heightened and so that’s why I can feel it. Under normal circumstances though, the Contagion remains dormant in me.
I can definitely see the crowd around you while regaling them with your stories and anecdotes.
“I’ve been told to be quiet on many occasions.”
“Never make yourself small for the comfort of others.” I wish I’d learned that sooner, but at least in my 40s I’m balls the wall! LOL
“Never make yourself small for the comfort of others.” The ironic part is I was much louder and boisterous in my younger years. Now I much more quiet and reserved. I make myself small, not for the comfort of others, but to avoid giving fuel when I know someone is a narcissist. I wholeheartedly agree though. If I have to make myself small around someone, I don’t want to be around that someone.
Hey Leigh,
Thank you for the very kind comment about my Magnet cadre. It’s the second after Saviour and the other two were insignificant minorities.
I can understand your reaction to Will Smith in this video, more so than the Red Table talk that I have now watched.
It’s his demeanour here. His eyes, tone of voice, stance, body language, all of it. He looks so utterly ground down. It’s revealing too I think because the clip was taken at home. He isn’t prepared, geared up, suited and booted as he would be doing something like PR or the red table. The Red Table talk reminded me a little of me playing at being me when I was struggling. He’s playing at being Will Smith but the hurt is showing through the cracks. The frustration and confusion seeps through the polish.
This video I thought was clearer, it caught him just as he was feeling those emotions and I think that’s why our reaction is likely stronger. Essentially, it’s a clearer read without him ‘cloaking’.
Will is a fixer I think. He uses his Will Smith persona a little as a shield and he uses his humour in a similar way. To shield and to de escalate. I get that.
HG says that he uses his own humour as a weapon. Mmm, weapon in the context of drawing people in, so I suppose he would call it a weapon. If I used mine to draw someone in it would be more as a way to bond, harmless so I wouldn’t call it a weapon. I think that also might have something to do with self perception as regards what the person is being drawn into. My view is that I’m overall a ‘good’ person. So no weapon.
I can use humour as a weapon, but in defence of myself or someone else. More, showing someone up if they are being an arse. I don’t imagine Will using his in that way. He uses it to bond, de escalate and defend I think. HG would likely use his humour defensively also I think, but his defence is to regain control, which comes right the way round to attack haha!
Similar skills very different motivations. I can understand why a Magnet empath would be drawn to a narcissist. She sees similar behaviours to her own but misses the motivation behind them.
Will Smith’s school and cadre configuration is fortunate in some ways but very unfortunate given the narcissist he’s with and environment he moves in.
Xx
My humour is a weapon because as a narcissistic psychopath it’s used purely for my needs and not anybody else’s.
“My humour is a weapon because as a narcissistic psychopath it’s used purely for my needs and not anybody else’s.”
Thank you for the clarification HG. I think I understand what you mean. Your motivation is entirely selfish therefore the humour is just a n other manipulation / weapon in the armoury to ensure the receipt of some form of the Prime Aims
If I am magnetic and use humour when I meet new people though, my motivation might also be selfish. I want to make new friends. I’m using humour and charm to draw people to me. It could be described then as a selfish motivation used purely to serve my own needs. Is my humour a weapon in this context? I don’t believe so. I’m drawing people in to something that overall I perceive as being ‘good’ non threatening etc. If I am successful in making those friends, what do I intend to do with them afterwards? I intend to be a genuine friend to them. I don’t intend to control them and I don’t need to use them for personal gain.
Alternatively, if I see a smart arse picking on a shy guy in a bar. I’ll use my humour to show up the smart arse, make him look like an idiot. My motivation is the defence of the shy guy. Here it’s a non selfish motivation based on the perceived needs of someone else rather than mine. But from where I stand here, I am using the humour as a weapon, albeit with good non selfish intentions that have nothing to do with my own needs.
The description of humour as a weapon then has to be about more than purely selfish or non selfish motivation and having our needs met. It’s also about result. What comes after? In the case of drawing people in, weapon or not is also about the perception of what the recipient of the humour is being drawn in to. What we intend to do with those people afterwards. Will there be a net cost or net benefit to them as a result of being drawn in and forming an acquaintance? Part of that relates to self perception and the perception of the recipient too I think.
This reminds me a bit of what Dr E asked. Who are you?
Leigh, this was my exact reaction, it was so hard to watch, so painful. I remember experiences so similar to that in my own kitchen, minus the camera of course but definitely with the digging the knife deeper. And you love this person so don’t want to hurt them by being in their face with it, not recognizing that it’s abuse, and knowing what the reaction will be if you do get in their face, even worse for you. So hard to watch. I hurt for him, I wanted to punch her.
There were a couple of times during the Red Table Talk analysis and even this video, when I thought he was actually standing up for himself. It didn’t take long for her to knock him back down though.
I wanted to punch her too.
I noticed that also, that he tried. It was encouraging, he could be better if he had the right information. Like we all can I suppose. It’s just a matter of getting the right information to people and in Will’s case, overcoming the CoD aspect. That makes his situation especially challenging.
I know. I keep hoping he will find Mr. Tudor. Knowledge is power!