Crush Emotional Thinking : The Mirror Technique
Emotional Thinking continuing to plague your life?
Emotional Thinking making you fear the narcissist?
Emotional Thinking derailing your no contact regimen again and again?
Do you want the pain caused by Emotional Thinking to go?
Then it is time to crush your emotional thinking and time to deploy the mirror technique
I’ve been thinking….
Are empaths really in love with the narcissist or is it purely an addiction? We need our next high, our next fix. Not in the same way narcs get fuel… but in our own way.
I’ve opened up about reaching out to my narc lately. We’ve spoken briefly. I reached out to him not because I’m in love with him… but because I need the dopamine rush she so readily supplies to my brain so I can try and get over the other guy.
Also – ruminating is just as an unhealthy as complete dissociation. But to be honest I wish I had the latter. I’m envious narcs do not hold on to memories, and they can simply carry forward and not look in the past.
From my own experience I would say we fall in love with AN ILLUSION! We think that the narcissist is our soulmate, our “perfect fit”, we project OUR OWN dreams, hopes, ideals into that illusion. We see what we wanna see! The narcissist just gives us what we want, he or she says what we want to hear, he or she is what we want them to be! They have no own personality, remember! They are chameleons and they are very good and tricky at sniffing out what WE EMPATHS want and what WE hope for. They just give us that! They just create THE ILLUSION of being “The One” for us. We fall in love with a phantom, a hologram, but not with a person. We fall in love with a projection of ourselves and our hopes and dreams. This is how I see it.
Well I’m just gonna say. HG, I’m gonna give you this one for free. My ex would sing songs in my ear and the most effective song ever is Lady Gaga Always Remember us this Way. If you ever sing this song in her ear I can almost guarantee you will have her hooked! Bait, line, and sinker! Consider this a freebie from one of you wise empaths. 😉
Not that you need advice but just in case you wanted a back up plan here ya go!
Wendy, this is an individual matter. This song does not take me on at all.
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After years of hoovering, N2 perfectly enticed me with completely different rhythms (his rhythms!):
– Hybrid Minds “Solitude”
– BSA “Way Back”
I stay away from these songs. It only takes a few bars, even now, for me to immediately kneel, broken on my knees, and feel every cell in my body pull towards him. A very powerful power – I can feel him everywhere in me. Yes, HE is enclosed in these two songs…
I am starting to feel like my old self, I thought that person was lost forever. Yesterday I went out into the rain, head tilted skywards and arms outstretched. I had forgotten how invigorating and alive such simple little pleasures could bring.
I must have driven my NPD ex crazy – I think a non narc would have a difficult time. How many times did I forget and leave my phone sitting on the side when I went out? Ah, how many times did I lose it and it take days before I even looked for it? It wasn’t as he he did not know where I was and how to get hold of me if needed – what was the big deal?
Then too – I do not care what others think of me, I do not need to fit in – I can just go read a book, no big deal. But he did care and quite passionately. Just because he does – does not mean I have to – right? Yeah, as I learn I start to understand how I may have sparked his insecurities.
I watched ‘The Nameless Narcissist yesterday.’ Quite fascinating. I examined my brains processes as to why I was drawn to this individual. I watched his body language, gestures and signals. I listened to his words. He could almost be my ex in a different body – except my ex was an introvert.
He was giving off signals of unease and insecurity. Logically, I knew this guy was bad news, but emotionally I was drawn to help him and my empathy for this guy is substantial. It was not something I can control, he was like a flashing beacon of inner torment and pain. Just like the saying – moths to a flame.
I do not think HG’s method would be quite so effective in its delivery if we were to actually see him lol. I am also reminded of peoples feelings towards JD.
Not that I need to worry these days – days can pass without me even talking to anyone. When I do and they ask how my day has been, I am so damn thankful to say ‘Uneventful.’ I must seem so boring – but I don’t care.
Reminding me I am neglecting my characters – all my time, energy and attention must be on them. Mmm I am about to lose time and space awareness again – well until I come up for air again that is …