Shoot You Down

SHOOT YOU DOWN

 

A plaintive wail which I often hear is along the lines of,

“Why do you always have to shoot me down? I give you everything you could ever want. Why can’t you just be happy with that?”

As usual you delude yourself with such a statement. You do not give me everything I could ever want. You think that you do, but that is the self-centredness that you often exhibit creeping in once again. You certainly care, I will grant you that, but you make the mistake of assuming what you do is what we want. What we want is fuel. I know what comes next.

“I always told you how much I loved you, I admired and complimented you often and frequently. How much more could I make you feel good about yourself?”

Therein lies the problem. No matter how good your intentions and how frequent your worship of me, my kind and me will always grow tired of it. We have heard your kind words and seen your appreciative gestures too many times and it, well, it just does not do it for us anymore.

I am sure that you emotionally in touch people would be the first to complain if a long established partner engages in the same routine in the bedroom. It does not hit the spot anymore does it? Well, it is just the same for us. You may ultimately accept that things cool somewhat in the bedroom and I know from what I have seen and heard that you trade this passion off (although not always, there are some sexual thrill seekers amongst your kind) for other qualities that you find attractive – humour, companionship, security, warmth, good parental skills, intelligence and such like. There is no hope for any such trade with us.

We only want one thing from our relationship. Fuel as the indicator of control. We do not care (ultimately) how good-looking you are, how much of a whore you are between the sheets, how wonderful a mother you may be, what a raconteur you are or how much you earn. Those factors only have a bearing with regard to the issues of fuel and control.

We will never accept those things or anything else as a substitute for fuel. True enough, the more aged of our kind sometimes accept these things when their need for fuel diminishes but that need never goes away. They may decide to accept these attributes alongside largely positive fuel, but they will still need to stir things up from time to time.

That is not going to happen with me. I am at the peak of my powers and therefore my need for fuel remains substantial. There can be no substitute for it at all and nor can there be any co-existence between the provision of fuel and other attributes. It is fuel or nothing. In order to achieve this I have to shoot you down because once that is done you start to flow with the potent negative fuel and my cravings start to be addressed.

You can beg and plead with me, you can point out how you will always only ever have eyes for me, you can express your love, desire, adoration and admiration on an hourly basis but there comes a point when it just does not have that sweetness anymore. It is then that I pull the handgun from my jacket, attach the silencer and fire several vitriolic bullets into you. Your pain from these wounding bullets gives me the fuel that I need and therefore your shooting is necessary. Moreover, it is your punishment for letting me down. You really ought to be capable of pleasing me the whole time but so far, all that I have chosen have failed. That is why I now expect you to fail and have that gun to hand at all times.

When I shoot you down, I become more powerful as the fuel flows from you. Moreover, it is easy to get someone to admire and adore. Those reactions come naturally to your kind. It is far harder to extract tears, anger, frustration and regret from the empath. Managing to do so imbues your emotional reaction with greater potency, your fuel becomes supercharged and this is what we want. We cannot shoot you down from the beginning, we need you stood on a pedestal first, after all, you present as such an inviting target then and your toppling as the bullets slam into you becomes all the more satisfying.

I sense your dismay as you read this. You had hoped that by keeping me sweet and onside through a dazzling and tireless display of love, affection and admiration you had hoped to avoid such an attack. Your concerns should not be absolute. There is an upside you know. Firstly, when we find someone else after we have shot you down, keep in mind they will eventually be riddled with bullet holes no matter how happy we both appear at first. It is coming to them as it came to you. I am sure that makes you feel a little better doesn’t it? Secondly, there is a huge saving grace.

We never shoot you dead.

We need you alive so we can raise you up again as we re-load.

13 thoughts on “Shoot You Down

  1. alberdina74 says:

    Having dealt with separated parents for most of my professional life, I have promoted this content as much as I could under the radar, as there are so many genuinely suffering parents and children and there are also those that are not sufferering but put up a facade and feel nothing for their offspring.

  2. annaamel says:

    It’s a good question, TS. I find it really hard to imagine empathic individuals who can understand the feelings of others choosing to use derogatory terms, but I suppose if their empathy is eroded due to circumstances or if their narcissistic impulses aren’t being modified in the moment – then it’s possible. If someone has little empathy overall, it’d probably be pretty easy to label others in a condescending and demeaning way.

    1. Truthseeker6157 says:

      Hi Annaamel,

      You’re right, erosion of empathy does give greater prominence to already existing narcissistic traits. However, in my experience these traits tend either to be directed inwards, or, at specific targets. They rarely carpet target. Rarely is not never but it’s good enough for me to withdraw my ‘benefit of the doubt’ response.

      I think for me, the more reliable indicator is the one which says, “Can I ever imagine making comments like that and in that particular context?”. If the answer is “no” then that’s a good enough steer for me as to how to proceed.

      I will not be correct all of the time, but I’ll be correct most of the time. I’m content with those odds!

      ( I’m not getting notifications, sorry for the late response).

      1. annaamel says:

        It would be good if Tom could identify specific people in his life who have caused him to suffer. I suspect his mother might be a key player, given some of his comments. But there may be others who have disappointed him. If not, he will likely continue to carpet target while emphasising that the dynamics discussed don’t affect him personally. We will just have to bear the brunt of it.

        1. Truthseeker6157 says:

          Hi annamel,

          All might yet be revealed. Or not!

          Xx

        2. Asp Emp says:

          Is it any surprise that there are some people that have a need to ‘talk’ because they were subject to direct “abuse” from somebody who does not know them at all?

          To talk about that person directly and them not being directly involved in the conversation is another form of behaviour that ‘creates’ such responses / reactions from people who have experiences resulting from situations that other people do not know about.

          HG provided his blog for exactly the reasons why KTN blog exists. The space to talk. We should be encouraging people to speak up, not ‘shut them down’.

          Empaths who show compassion towards another can assist that person in more ways than other people can even begin to understand.

  3. Tom says:

    Only the desperate, schemers or door mats will be grateful for such a life.

    1. Truthseeker6157 says:

      Hello Tom,

      Are you new to the blog? If so, welcome.
      Would you mind elaborating on what you mean by a schemer? Also, a door mat?

      1. annaamel says:

        There does seem to be people (often men but sometimes women) who see women in a rather categorical way.

        For instance, as

        Gold Diggers – only after men for their money
        Schemers – likely Gold Diggers or looking to snare a man for selfish reasons.
        Doormats – who put up with bad guys because they too weak to say no to them
        Stupid – women who are too inept to make good choices in men
        Harem women – who are prepared to share their partner with others, possibly because of weakness or desperation.
        Needy – women who are insecure and who therefore don’t make good choices in men and stay with poor options
        Desperate – will take anyone available (perhaps feels unable to be discerning)
        ‘Pants droppers’ (substitute any term for this you are more familiar with) – have sex fairly soon with men who appeal to them. These women many also want to be abused. It could be okay to to exploit these women and then talk about to others afterwards.
        Good women – who don’t have intimate relationships with men who initially appeal to them but wait until a good and honest man comes along.
        Strong women – who sense and immediately push bad guys away in preference for good men

        I think I have covered them all. There are so many….

        1. Truthseeker6157 says:

          Hi annamel,

          Yes, there are so many derogatory terms / labels that can be applied to women, men too, but I think women bear the brunt of it.

          Labels are interesting, there’s no nuance about labelling is there? You earn a virtuous or non virtuous label, all good or all bad. Very black and white in terms of thinking.

          When I see the term doormat used to describe victims of narcissistic abuse I must confess it’s very like a red flag to a bull for me. I have seen it used in a derogatory way twice previously on the blog, on both occasions the comment was issued by a narcissist.

          It raises a question. The people categorising women, using the terms you correctly highlighted, what group do these people most often fit into themselves? It’s probably less of a male / female tendency and more of a narcissist tendency, driven by black and white thinking, the need for control and fuel, and a need to always be right.

    2. Joa says:

      Pfff, I can be a doormat, I don’t mind 🙂

      This kind of epithet has no effect on me as a person or my life.

      In order to touch a person to the core and evoke their reaction, one has to go much deeper.

      Annaamel, you’re right, it’s impossible to describe a human in one word. Each person is a set of many, very rich features, often contradictory.

    3. alberdina74 says:

      That is very empathetic and insightful of you, please share more of your wisdom.

    4. alberdina74 says:

      The desparate and door mats – grateful for such a life – are you delusional?

Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Previous article

The Three That Got Away

Next article

The Narcissist and U-Turns