Plagued : Malign Follow Up Hoovers



Hurt and pain are integral in the narcissist dynamic. Whether your narcissist is male or female, an intimate partner, a family member, friend or colleague, there will at some juncture be the appearance of hurt. It is the primary source, usually an intimate partner, who carries the largest burden of this hurt, since it is they who spends the most time with our kind, is entwined in our manipulations and suffers the worst of the devaluation and disengagement .

Whilst the incidence of hurtful behaviour cannot be denied in the devaluation, there may be some comprehension that it occurs because the Formal Relationship between narcissist and victim is continuing. Judged by the victim and a normal person’s standards, that hurt should not occur at all, but once one understands the nature of our behaviour, it is understandable, albeit not accepted, that it occurs during devaluation.
The hurt that is occasioned by the discard is like any that occurs when somebody has found their romantic and intimate relationship terminated. It is safe to say however that when the cessation occurs as a consequence of our discarding, the hurt is amplified by the cruel nature of the discard, the confusion that surrounds it and the contrast with the golden period that once shone so brilliantly. From pedestal to the thorny ground. Often in a matter of weeks.
The hurt is understandable and recognisable when it occurs in the context of the devaluation period and the consequent discard. Yet, what of the aftermath and the hereafter? The hurt invariably continues following the discard. I do not refer to those dark, lonely days as you attempt to piece together what happened.

That howling wilderness where nothing makes sense and you are left to pick yourself up and tackle the daily agony of what has happened to you. The gnawing hurt of wanting us back, the bewildering mystery of why somebody who supposedly loved you could do such a thing to you, the stark realisation that we have moved on to someone else without so much as a backwards glance towards you.

The misery of unanswered questions, the wretchedness of the emptiness that hangs around your day like a spectre and the shame as the drip, drip, drip of realisation causes you to ascertain you have been conned.
Harsh as those things are, they are the residue of your entanglement with us. The collateral effects of us taking from you. These are all difficult enough to comprehend and deal with, especially in an eroded and worn down state. But why do we return and pile hatred onto the pain, misery onto the woe and malice onto the hurt? Why do we engage in the Malign Follow-Up Hoover?
The Malign Hoover occurs when we revisit you, in many different ways, sometimes in person, sometimes through technology and sometimes through others with the intent of hurting your further. Why do we do this? Have we not made you suffer enough? Have we not had our fill of your begging, pleading, loving, attempts to make us happy? Why can we not just leave you be? You do not even have the less hurtful experience of benign follow-up hoovers where we seek positive fuel and to charm you back into the Formal Relationship. This is pure, unadulterated malice, directed at you time and time again.
Let us start by ascertaining which of our kind utilises this hoover? The answer is, all of our kind. The Lesser. The Mid-Range and the Greater all engage in the application of the Malign FUH. It may not happen with every victim, but it part of each school of narcissist’s arsenal.
When is it used? It occurs when the Formal Relationship has ended, thus when you have been disengaged from or if you have managed to escape.
How does it occur? As ever, since it is a hoover, it relies on the Hoover Trigger and the Hoover Execution Criteria being fulfilled but there are additional considerations and motivations which you ought to be aware of.
The Greater Narcissist. If you have been disengaged from, you can expect a Malign FUH reasonably soon post discard, because the energy levels and intrinsic malevolence of the Greater will facilitate this type of hoover more than the Mid-Range or the Lesser. The Greater has an enhanced desire to punish you for failing us (hence why you were devalued and discarded) but those treatments are not deemed enough. You failed. We see this as a criticism of us and therefore it is justifiable to punish you. The Malign FUH is also deployed because the fuel we gain from your negative emotional responses to being hurt, assists us in powering our ongoing seduction of your replacement. Thus, not only are you being punished for your perceived failures, you are being used to ensure that your replacement is embedded and seduced.
The Malign FUH allows us to triangulate you with the new replacement and it allows us to demonstrate to the façade that you are trouble and this is why we have to be harsh with you (we have been left with no choice but to do this – or so the façade is made to believe).
The Greater may switch to a Benign FUH at a later stage (usually when your replacement is being devalued) and some positive hoover fuel is required or even to tee you up to return to the position of primary source. It is the case however that following your discard you will face Malign FUHs and they will arise shortly after the discard has happened so long as the trigger and criteria occur.
Where you have escaped you will face the Initial Grand Hoover first of all in order to suck you back into the Formal Relationship. If this fails you will have a period of respite, many weeks, perhaps months, as we focus on the acquisition of a new primary source and remain away from you as a consequence of your resistance denoting that we are wasting our energy and you are an unattractive fuel prospect.

Once our fuel levels have increased again and have done so for a while, then subject to the trigger and criteria the Malign FUHs will occur. As above this is to punish you, but the malice will be greater because you escaped us, the ultimate act of treachery. The new primary source will be in place, therefore there is no need to for the fuel that is generated to seduce this person (although it may be partially used to power the ongoing golden period).

More likely, the fuel gathered from these Malign Hoovers is so potent and effective that we use the power generated to keep hammering you with more and more hoovers. This creates a dangerous situation because there will be a combining of a Malicious Obsession and a Fuel Obsession so you are lodged in the sixth sphere thus there are repeated triggers.

The fuel has been obtained and thus the criteria is more readily going to be met.
If you have escaped your narcissist and you find that you are being subjected to repeated and sustained malign hoovers of this nature, you have been unfortunate enough to become lodged in the sixth sphere owing to one or probably both of these obsessions.
The Mid-Range and The Lesser Narcissists have far less interest in punishing you.

They do occur and if so, they will be shortly after your discard and short and sharp in nature. These narcissists do not have the energy levels to embark on a sustained campaign of Malign Hoovers purely for punishment, they need to utilise the fuel to gain more fuel from their seduction. It can happen, but their concern is to focus on the new primary source and therefore their malign hoovers are designed to power their seduction of your replacement. Accordingly, if you have been discarded, the Mid-Range or Lesser will be focused on your replacement and if they deploy Malign FUHs this will be done to provide them with fuel to secure the seduction and embed this replacement. Once this is achieved, the Malign FUHs will tail off.
If you have escaped, you will also experience an Initial Grand Hoover from these types, but if it fails they will need to focus their efforts on securing a new primary source and gaining that fuel promptly. They will not have the energy or desire to maintain a malicious campaign against you as well. You are more likely to be left alone as they deal with their fuel shortage and then any follow-up hoovers which occur down the line are far more likely to be benign in nature, since the seduction and embedding has already taken place.
Accordingly, Malign FUHs are predominantly, albeit not exclusively, the preserve of the Greater Narcissist.
This is not complete however without some consideration of you, the recipient of these Malign FUHs. Dependent on what category of empathic individual you are, this will also impact on the nature and purpose of the hoovers.
Versus a Standard Empath. This will be done to draw negative fuel and potentially to draw you back in to the Formal Relationship so the pain stops, but Benign FUHs are more likely to be used to achieve this latter aim with the empath.
Versus a Super Empath. This is done to draw fuel only. The Super Empath will not be drawn back into the relationship through Malign FUHs, but they will seek to resist the impact. They may well provide fuel from their responses of frustration, hurt and anger, but we are aware that there is no prospect of returning the Super Empath to the Formal Relationship. That can only be done through the Initial Grand Hoover or Benign FUHs.
Versus a Co-Dependent. Again, the Malign FUH will draw fuel but the Co-Dependent is, of all the empathic types, the one who is most likely to be pulled back in because of a Malign FUH as they see it as the only way to halt the agony that is being caused.
What do Malign FUHs appear like? There are hundreds of different ways they manifest. Here is a selection.
1. Posting your mobile number on a sex website so you receive repeated calls harassing you;
2. Shouting insults at you when we see you;
3. Putting a brick through your window;
4. Slashing the tyres on your car;
5. Following you and glaring at you;
6. Sending funeral wreaths to your home;
7. Sending vicious text messages and e-mails;
8. Having Lieutenants contact you to insult you;
9. Daubing insults in paint on your car or house;
10. Smearing dog mess on your windows;
11. Threatening to contact social services (or indeed contacting them) so you are investigated;
12. Hacking into your computers;
13. Leaving notes and messages containing threats and warnings;
14. Posting comments about you which are unpleasant on social media;
15. Uploading intimate footage of you onto porn sites;
16. Posting intimate pictures of you on the internet and/or to your family and friends;
17. Incurring financial liabilities on your behalf;
18. Setting fire to possessions you have left with us and dumping the charred remains on your drive and/or sending you footage;
19. Threatening to steal/harm your pets;
20. Repeatedly driving by your home or workplace.
21. Reporting you to the police and/or other authorities so you are arrested/investigated;
22. Seeking a restraining order against you on trumped up grounds.
How do you deal with the Malign FUH? Understand whether you are at risk of it happening by considering the points above. Stay out of the spheres of influence, make yourself a F.R.E.E. in the hope that the hoover execution criteria are not met (chief amongst which is reducing all potential contact as far as you can) and thereafter bracing yourself. In short, you must implement a full and complete no contact regime by using this How To Stop the Hoovers

If, you do not do this and they keep happening, avoid giving fuel as best as you can and seek assistance from others to either build a buffer between you and us (thus making the criteria harder to fill for a hoover to take place) or escalate the matter to the relevant authorities on the basis of harassment and/or specific criminal behaviour.

Understand how it happens, why it happens and thus you can prepare yourself.
What has been the nature of the Malign Follow-Up Hoovers that you have experienced?

7 thoughts on “Plagued : Malign Follow Up Hoovers

  1. free says:

    I have received non stop harassment even though I have not seen him in 8 months, and have only spoken to him briefly a couple of times since. As I have escaped and he does not know where I live, it has all been online harassment:
    – posting malicious things continuously about me all over social media, non stop. Not one other thing on his social media, everything just about me. This has included intimate photos of me, suicide attempts by him- apparently I said I wanted him to die so now he will (total fabrication to gain sympathy from his friends and family). And of course non stop rantings of him playing the victim and me the villain. He even wrote on there that I am a missing person and he has reported me to the police as such. I blocked him and all his friends and family but my friend monitoring tells me it continues multiple times per day.
    -repeated non stop harassment and threats via every way of communication he could find. I receive between 15-50 emails per day for 8 months now, ranging from how much he loves me, to how much he hates me and will find me to (insert various threat), to he will kill himself. I changed my email and have a friend monitoring these emails for legal and safety reasons
    -I have had to change my phone number due to hundreds of harassing calls and texts
    -change my bank due to 50+ threats via 1 cent transactions
    -had to delete snap chat and other similar platforms due to the relentless harassment
    Although ending up at the police station due to the missing persons, I think as he does not know where I am it is safer for me to keep ignoring him. If I have to go to court he will know where in the country I am. Prison does not deter him, and it will also increase his anger towards me and allow him to interact with me in court, as well as increase his desire for revenge. But to do this daily for 8 months with no response from me is crazy. He keeps saying it will stop when I give in, submit and be with him. His bedroom wall is filled with photos of me. It scared me alot to start, but now I just think he is a joke and absolutely crazy. Just hoping he finds a new supply soon so he can focus his crazy onto her instead. I think he must be a lesser narcissist but I’m surprised that he can keep this up for so long without gaining any return fuel.

  2. Contagious says:

    HG: why the cruelty? What does being cruel to someone help? I know you say “fuel.” But define that fuel. Like an animal attacking prey? It must feel powerful. A job well done. But empaths get that rush. A client told me today she helped a homeless person get a job and gave him hundreds to tied him over. It was commendable but her rush and feeling powerful was there. Those who can give are lucky to give. It is a privilege. Are these two sides of a different coin? Easy today good and evil. But abuse is cruel to derive power from it whereas love is kind.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Read Fuel.

  3. Contagious says:

    As to plagued, many of these are crimes committed against a person. Make a police report, get a restraining order, sue this greater and take his equity. Nothing better than prison to stop a “plague.” But I am certain you direct your consults to official channels. My ex acted in some of these ways and others during our divorce. It’s crazy to lie on the floor with your babies by you worrying about your life. I got support with local DV counselors. Got a restraining order. I am an attorney who fought him to the point his lawyer, top most expensive lawyer here in LA, and he said he had never met anyone like me. But I had the goods. I even went so far as calling a friend in the mafia. Just to find out his ties. I won. Not the money I could have but I let him skate for a fair settlement and although he sued me for 100% custody saying I was “ delusional” ( seeing cocaine, guns, tax records) I got 80% custody as the top psychologist found him anti social. Guess what? He paid child support on time and followed the court orders eventually as I made police reports each time he tried to Bartle but in the end he was a good dad. My daughter loves him and our child succeeded beyond our wildest imagination. He was great with discipline, rules, teaching her about money and business and I gave her the nurture and all the money for medical and educational needs and activities etc… despite the fact he was far more wealthy. I sucked it up for her sake and never dissed her father. Rather I focused on them having a positive independent relationship. My daughter will graduate from LMU with a computer science degree and a minor of film after studying in Germany. She is full scholarship and in a sorority and works occasionally at a restaurant and babysits. Most of all she is happy, confident with many friends and compassionate (me) but his business acumen was a strength. I ran into him at a grocery store. He hates me. Despite all the harm inflicted during the divorce, I don’t hate him. My daughter was what mattered. I am not a super. I am a standard and a contagian. I felt the currents and rode us to safety on shore.

    1. Contagious says:

      I was a DA. My ex bf is rich with a best friend who runs the Pentagon. I had connections. I scared him. I might have really hurt him with criminal charges etc… he was a criminal that I married unknowingly. But my objective was not to put my daughters father in prison. It was to give us the best life. If I was a narc, I could have inflicted great pain. But my goal worked. Her father got richer married a con. My daughter thrives. My point is even if you aren’t me, there is support and legal channels. HG would help you BUT it is never a good idea is my opinion to alienate a child in joint custody. It will only harm the child. Keep your opinions to yourself and foster and navigate the child through dealing with a narc or antisocial in the best way you can! Love! Love. Love. Love. Every phone call … listen and support. Every time you see them it’s Christmas. A child with an antisocial or narc needs extra nurture without condemnation of him. Kids know who is who. They get you don’t like each other. Rise above. My daughter was 4.8 when we divorced. It is possible to coexist if you have to with a narc. I even I’ve her gifts to give him in her name that I know will please him. But her success has always pleased him as he considers her his achievement. So be it for me;) let him think that lol

  4. Nr. 12 says:

    Longtime NISS here, getting hacked as h**l after the awakening in October. Factory reset etc is close to pointless…

    I’ve recently filed a police report, but don’t expect much. I’ve also notified my bank and closed most of my accounts. Problem is that everything I do, even spending weeks off-line, gives him fuel. This is becoming boring.

    I’m also thinking about exposure, but that might create more problems without solving anything…

    Tudor, do have you some material on how to make a «digital escape» or other recommendations ? Any ultra advice would be much appreciated;)

    1. HG Tudor says:

      I need to understand your specific situation and must relay a lot of detail to you, therefore the best approach would be to organise a consultation with me

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