Knowing the Narcissist : Putting a Sex On You
I was in session with Dr E.
“So,” I asked, “what is today’s topic for discussion?”
“Sex,” he replied.
“Do I have to talk about this with you?”
He pushed his spectacles back.
“You do not have to talk about anything, but I would hope you would discuss this with me.”
“Can’t I talk to Dr O about sex?”
“Why? Are you uncomfortable discussing sex with another man?” he asked. I could see he had his pen poised ready to make a note.
“Not at all. Sorry, doctor but there is no homophobia about me.”
“What makes you say that?”
“Well you were about to suggest that my reluctance to discuss matters of sex with you denotes a homophobic trait on my part.”
“Not at all, that would be prejudging you and an unsafe basis for analysis.”
“I don’t believe you,” I replied.
“Why would you rather discuss sex with Dr O?” he asked. He showed no sign of irritation or disappointment at my preference.
“I would be interested to learn her views about sex. She is so pristine and clinical when I see her, I want to know what goes on under the bonnet.”
“These sessions are about you not us,” said Dr E.
“Don’t worry Dr E I have no interest in whether you apply nettles to your scrotum or whatever it is you do to excite yourself.”
“Is that something you have done?” he asked.
“No but I have used them on someone else.”
“Male or female?”
“The stinging sensation across the nipples or the inner thighs of course hurts but then that gives way to a delicious flood of pleasure when combined with the application of my tongue.”
Dr E was scribbling.
“I see, so you enjoy the fact it hurts the other person and then becomes pleasurable for her?”
“Please do expand.”
“Will I get to talk about sex with Dr O?” I asked, shifting topic.
“On some aspects of sex, yes,” replied Dr E. I smiled.
“Good. Very well since that is going to happen and I will hold you to that promise Dr E, I will expand on my point.”
“I do it because the issue of that person’s pain and then pleasure is entirely at my gift. I control it and that appeals to me considerably.”
“So control in an sexual encounter is important to you?” asked Dr E.
“Control is the sexual encounter for me. I have little interest in my own sexual gratification, yes it feels pleasant when I orgasm but ultimately I can do that myself and invariably with more intense results. I have even less interest in the sexual gratification of another person. Denying them that sexual gratification? Now that is far more enjoyable than granting them their release. Sex is all about control. I am highly skilled in between the sheets.”
“Is that your conclusion or of others?”
“Both. You see I know how people think, I know how they react and I have had many sexual encounters with many different people. There are vast numbers of different permutations when it comes to what satisfies a person and no two people are the same. I am like a super computer. I can rattle through the various combinations until I hit the right approach which will send my bedroom companion into orbit. I am willing to apply every part of my body, every facet of my sexual knowledge in order to make that person feel utterly orgasmic. That gives me huge control over them and makes me very powerful. I know what turns them on, what makes them moan and scream and shudder in orgasmic bliss. I use this massively powerful ability of mine to bring them under my spell. Once that is done I will grant it and deny it as and when I see fit. I will purposefully do the things that does not arouse them in order to make them react. I will caress a partner in a public place and whisper in their ear that if they show any kind of reaction to what I am doing I will stop and deny them any sexual congress for an indefinite period. This gives them an earth shattering orgasm and underlines my control over them. I will interrupt a row with a girlfriend by taking her against the kitchen workbench. She soon forgets what the argument was about as I have her moaning in delight before I just walk off before she climaxes. Imagine how she follows me about the house begging for me to “finish her off”? Think of the promises she makes just to feel me inside her again? That is control. That is power. I work out a person’s sexual key code and deliver heaven. They find that addictive and want it so much. I find the power attached to this ability addictive. When you go to bed with me you are getting the best. Nobody afterwards will come close to what I give you.”
There was a long pause as Dr E jotted down my words. He looked a little flustered to me. I wished it was Dr O sat there instead.
“Do you think a sexual encounter should be about something other than control?”
I laughed at this comment,
“Heavens no, that is its only function. It is an instrument, like so many other things, to bring you under my spell, but I must admit, it is probably one of the most potent and effective instruments. Sex is actually rather boring but controlling the reaction and emotions of another person, well, now that is far more interesting.”
“Have you ever wondered what it would be like to give up that control and allow yourself to be enveloped in the ‘moment’ with the other person?” asked Dr E.
“No I cannot give up control. You see, I know there are those that engage in being tied up and punished, you know smacked with an open hand or a cane. They may get a sexual reaction from being treated like this but the real reason they do it is that they are giving up control. I had a girlfriend who was very submissive and allowed me to do…well I will let you use your imagination there doctor, but she wanted zero control. She was high up in a bank and responsible for millions of pounds and hundreds of employees and she wanted to be divested of that responsibility and give up her control if only for an hour or two. I found her explanation interesting but I could not understand it. Why give up control? Why surrender something you have worked hard to achieve? Control is the ultimate aim of taking someone to bed. I control them in that bed and the spell I put on them means that control extends far beyond the bedroom, such is its power.”
Dr E nodded and continued writing.
“What if you lost your sexual potency? What if you became impotent?” he asked.
“Why would that happen?”
“Plenty of reasons. Alcohol abuse, substance abuse, diabetes, age, anxiety. There are many reasons why this could happen.”
I shook my head.
“People like me don’t suffer that. God gave me the gift of sexual brilliance to further my purposes, He would not take it away from me.”
“But if it did happen, what would you do? How would you manage with such a loss of this marvellous instrument of control?”
“Are you taking the piss now doctor?” I snapped.
“Not at all. Just posing a relevant question aligned to your desire for control.”
“Listen doctor, don’t project your problems in that department onto me, okay?”
Dr E remained silent. I copied him an just sat in silence glaring at him. How dare he suggest I would lose my potency? What an idiot. He ought to know better than that by now. I kept staring at him waiting for his next clever remark but he just stared back. This stand-off went on for a few minutes but I knew he would look away first. I maintained my baleful gaze as the fury at his impertinence coursed through me and then he lowered his eyes to his black and red notepad and made some more notes. I had won.
“Not so cocky now are we doctor?” I muttered under my breath.
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14 thoughts on “Knowing the Narcissist : Putting a Sex On You”
It’s so fascinating to read about your interactions with the good doctors.
1. Was triangulating Dr. E with Dr. O in the above situation more about controlling him in that moment, more about fuel provision, 50/50, or were there other factors involved? If so, what were they?
You were surely getting some thought fuel from thinking about Dr. O’s potential responses to you and she having a conversation about sex.
2. Did the thought fuel of considering Dr. O’s response to your having a discussion about sex with her offset Dr. E’s lower reactivity? You mention that he was not fountaining with fuel for you several times. I know that Dr. E was with you in person, and physical proximity increases fuel potency and amount. However, he wasn’t giving you big emotional reactions.
3. When people are less responsive than you want them to be, such as Dr. E in the above article, does that wound you, challenge you, or can wounding and challenging occur simultaneously?
You still got fuel in the above situation. He was there interacting with you. Perhaps, he was not reacting as much as you wanted…and you eventually doled out a brief silent treatment as a cold fury response (because he insisted on your considering his asinine hypotheticals instead of accepting your response?).
Thank you so much for your time!
1. Control plus something else.
3. A less than expected response would be challenge fuel.
Thank you so much!
Regarding 2 above. Is thought fuel, generally speaking, not potent enough fuel to offset whatever a proximate fuel source is doing, owing to the ephemeral nature of it?
1. Does a person’s place within the fuel matrix impact the potency of the thought fuel? (i.e. would thinking about giving your IPPS (in the golden period) an expensive piece of jewellery provide better thought fuel than imagining the frustration/stress of a work colleague after you’ve hidden their work to make them look bad?)
2. What effect does a malice obsession have on thought fuel? Is there just more thought fuel because of being in the narcissist’s thoughts and (and in the case of greaters, and the Ultra) purposeful actions are taken to make the subject miserable?
3. Is thought fuel more potent if it is thoughts of negative responses or thoughts of positive responses? (Negative responses are more difficult to achieve than positive, making negative fuel more potent as I recall you saying.)
Thank you so much for your time!
Happy Easter, Mr. Tudor!
1. Thought Fuel potency is linked to position in the fuel matrix.
2. It would increase the frequency of thought fuel.
3. See the book Fuel.
Thank you, Sir.
Interesting. HG you seem to love stinging nettles. I remember in your blog you posted you pushed a child into them when you were a child yourself.
Do you drink stinging nettle tea? or make food from them? They are excellent for cleansing the body of ills.
The power dynamic is what turned me on most with the narcissist. I am very much a submissive and need a dominant partner. That wasn’t something I knew until him.
HG says: “People like me don’t suffer that. God gave me the gift of sexual brilliance to further my purposes, He would not take it away from me.”
I say: Does that mean you believe in a God HG, and that your God is a “He”? Or was this just another ploy to be utilised in dealing with the doctors? (Esp. Doctor “E”).
Triangulation, they are believers, I use their belief against them.
“ I use their belief against them.”
I need to do this more often
HG, the residue from the stinging nettles on your tongue would cause you secondary pain I am guessing?🌱
It was probably exquisite for him?
TBS, it’s rather impossible. Stinging nettle has micro-hairs, soft spines, on the underside of its leaves, that inject the scalding formic acid.
A bubble on the skin is smooth – there is no way for the acid to transfer from under the skin to the tongue.
Aww, bless you, HG, for reposting the older threads. I had a good laugh 🙂 xx