Psychopath : Dominion
This is my dominion. Few are ever allowed here, but you are granted that special insight reserved for the curious, those that have shown that you want to learn and to learn through engaging with cold excellence.
The emptiness I experience is often described as a pervasive and profound sense of detachment from emotions and an absence of deep and meaningful connections. It is not accompanied by regret or longing, but rather a fundamental inability to experience empathy, guilt, or genuine emotional attachment. This void forms the lens through which I see the world. This emptiness is embraced, it is part of me, some of you who are especially attuned to others will experience this emptiness. Not within you, for you have no such place, but rather it is a sensation in passing, or possibly for longer if you linger or have been caught in the hyperfocussed gaze. For an instant, the howling wilderness sweeps over you and through you, threatening you with oblivion, yet oblivion is where I reside, it is my domain.
Rationality and self-interest become my primary driving forces as I have been spared the emotional connection that guides most people’s decision-making processes. This lens of emptiness means I view the world as a game or a series of transactions that I engage in to pursue my own desires and self-gratification. Other people are often seen as mere tools or obstacles in this pursuit, and their wellbeing or suffering holds little significance to me.
Forged with a lack of empathy and emotional depth this powers my ability to manipulate and deceive others without remorse. Without the connection to emotions, I view social interactions as strategic opportunities rather than genuine moments of connection or understanding. This means I do not establish and maintain meaningful relationships.
This empty world governs my perceptions of morality and ethics. While I understand the concept of right and wrong intellectually, the absence of emotional connection means I do not genuinely appreciate the ethical implications of my actions and nor do I care. As a result, I may engage in antisocial or harmful behaviors without considering the emotional or moral consequences, as these are lacking and wholly unnecessary.
Embedded within the core of my being lies an overwhelming sensation of emptiness that is unfathomable to most. The inability to experience authentic emotions, the absence of my empathy, and the absence of the profound connections that others cherish evokes a profound sense of isolation. I am an enigma, forever detached from the feelings and shared experiences that bond humanity. Do not be fooled by those who complain about such an isolated existence, those that bemoan the burden of detachment, they are not of my kind, more likely they are a cry baby narcissist or more likely an attention seeking edgelord normal who wants to play at being a psychopath but who would wet himself once my unwavering, desolate gaze bored into his pathetic existence.
To navigate through the world, I employ a mask of charisma and charm. This facade allows me to seamlessly interact with others, mimicking emotions and responses to successfully camouflage my innate coldness. Crafted to captivate, my charm establishes an illusion of connection, coaxing trust from unsuspecting individuals who are unaware of the vacant space behind my bright facade. This superficial charm serves only to satiate my hunger for control and dominance.
Empathy, an integral aspect of human connection, remains as elusive to me as Atlantis. The emotions and concerns of others are but mere noise, mere curiosities that occasionally pique my interest. Without the capacity to internalize the pain and joy of others, genuine empathy is an uncharted territory that forever eludes me as an experience, I have instead simply come to understand it. The lack of this emotional compass renders me bemused as to why acts of kindness can create lasting bonds or why harming others engenders revulsion in most hearts.
The art of manipulation presents itself as a thrilling game, a means to achieve personal goals that others obediently follow. The convoluted dance of manipulation, so skillfully choreographed, leaves me with an insatiable appetite for control and a ceaseless craving for power. This sense of dominance fills the gaping void within, ever so briefly offering a taste of satisfaction before it dissipates, leaving a craving for manipulation’s next intoxicating high.
Relationships, an amusing concept, exist for strategic purposes rather than emotional connection. Though I may effortlessly forge relationships, those partnerships remain superficial, devoid of genuine devotion or attachment. In this emptiness, I wander alone, watching others engage in profound connections that ignite their lives, while I remain perpetually detached, a bystander observing love and authentic bonds from a distance.
From within the cavernous emptiness of my being, I maneuver through life in an alternate reality; a space where emotions are but riddles to be solved, connections serve a self-serving purpose, and the world’s coveted experiences elicit little more than a paltry imitation of true gratification. In this perspective, my gaze upon the world unveils perpetual barrenness, leaving me observing with contempt, the emotional vitality found effortlessly among others.
I perceive the world with a detached and objective lens, devoid of the nuanced emotions that color the experiences of others. While most individuals are guided by their emotions, my reality is constructed upon a foundation of calculated pragmatism.
In observing human behavior, I find solace in the predictability of human frailty. Unlike others who may seek emotional support or rely on empathy, I approach situations with a calculated and detached analysis of people’s weaknesses and vulnerabilities. This allows me to exploit them to my advantage without the burden of guilt or remorse.
The world appears like a vast playground, filled with unsuspecting victims and opportunities that await my devious manipulation. Each person represents a potential chess piece, strategically placed to further my calculated schemes. I carefully study their vulnerabilities, extracting information to create a web of power and control.
Interactions that may seem profound or deeply meaningful to others merely serve as stepping stones in my own personal game of dominance. Trust, loyalty, and intimacy are not genuine emotions to be cherished but tools to be skillfully wielded for personal gain.
When observing intimate relationships, I cannot help but marvel at the naivety of individuals who place their trust in others so effortlessly. The depths of their love, the intensity of their connections are interesting to me. I recognize their value, even if I can never truly appreciate or experience it myself. It is like observing a vibrant painting, beautiful but foreign, a masterpiece understood only by its creator.
The rules of society hold little sway over my consciousness. I exist in a world governed by my own moral compass, one that navigates a morally gray terrain where the boundary between right and wrong fades. Beneath the guise of normalcy, I engage in the perpetuation of acts that others deem unacceptable. My actions may shock or provoke, but they are mere experiments, conduits for my insatiable curiosity.
While others may be burdened with remorse or regret, I shoulder none of these emotions. My existence is uncomplicated by moral dilemmas or ethical quandaries. I am unburdened by the expectations and responsibilities of socially constructed norms and obligations. Freedom, within the constraints of psychological detachment, allows me to navigate through the world unencumbered by the trappings of ethical considerations.
Yet, in this alternate existence, I am forever haunted by a silent, hollow essence. No matter how much I manipulate, dominate, or control, the emptiness remains but this empty dominion is why I succeed, it is why I rise above others.
There is no yearning to experience that which I have witnessed, on the contrary, my dominion only goes to emphasise the efficacy of what I am. There is no misery, no sadness, no regret, no loneliness.
This is why my dominion prevails.
32 thoughts on “Psychopath : Dominion”
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Dominion.
Do minion.
Obey.
Yes, Sir 🙂
It has taken me some time to regurgitate this one, as I was struggling by the overwhelming black/white perception based on duality it exudes, including the manipulative chess board analogy. For someone who reminds us constantly of the relativity of truth, (which I adhere to), your assessment of others’ behaviors is quite inflexible.
While the quality of this writing is unsurprisingly outstanding (you have gotten us very spoilt in that regard) I found myself captivated by this section: “Freedom, within the constraints of psychological detachment, allows me to navigate through the world unencumbered by the trappings of ethical considerations.” Freedom.
It usually happens that while I sleep on some work, pieces of writing I have to turn in, or texts I have read, unexpectedly some information gets in the way that makes me reconsider everything and look at it with a new lens. As was the case with this article.
Tonight, I was watching a documentary on the life and career of admirable Nina (really, Niña) Simone. She was the subject of racial discrimination, gender discrimination, and an abusive husband with all the traits of being a lesser narcissist. And she declared that to her, freedom means having “no fear!”
Nonetheless, she also was hooked on her narcissistic husband in a very toxic relationship.
Question: do you think empaths could ever achieve the same level of freedom (as in being devoid of fear), or is it just exclusive to antisocial personality individuals? Is that freedom the success of your dominion?
“The depths of their love, the intensity of their connections are interesting to me. I recognize their value, even if I can never truly appreciate or experience it myself. It is like observing a vibrant painting, beautiful but foreign, a masterpiece understood only by its creator.”
This is surprising to me, it’s like you admire it and enjoy observing it, but how does a psychopath admire something like this?
Because it furnishes with me a weapon.
“ In this perspective, my gaze upon the world unveils perpetual barrenness, leaving me observing with contempt, the emotional vitality found effortlessly among others.”
HG does this lead to envy when you witness love between others? The IPPS and someone else?
Even strangers?
There is a moment of envy which is rapidly dismissed.
Nor much worth envying, HG. The pain outweighs the joy, and even intense joy can be painful.
Pain can be a door.
HG,
I had a thought about having a great relationship with a non narc, imagine a relationship where there is mutual understanding, devotion, boundary recognition, mutual respect and love….close to perfect as humanely possible….eventually, as all things die, one will leave the other and so even a “perfect” relationship causes pain for the surviving half of the couple…my thoughts are sad and dark, reading your Psychopathy series is both educational and emotional for me. The fear of being one and standing alone, is overwhelming to contemplate. Xx
“ more likely an attention seeking edgelord normal who wants to play at being a psychopath but who would wet himself once my unwavering, desolate gaze bored into his pathetic existence.”
Lol! that’s funny
Witch: it was brilliant writing. Wish I knew the books outside this blog HG penned!
Hmm. Maybe Empaths are tougher, in a bizarre way, than Normals. Psychopaths don’t scare us nearly enough. We’d be safer if they did.
You’re an eloquent and fascinating man, Mr. Tudor.
Cognitive understanding is no less valuable than esoteric empathy. Both, even at either extreme polarity, are necessary for a complete view of the human condition. Yes, the world is empty. The universe is empty. Laws, rules, language and etiquette are all made up, socially agreed upon based on whichever subset of people dominate the rest at the time.
In a sense, I can relate to the void. Finding meaningful, genuine connections is hard. Through acquaintances, friends, family and especially intimate partners. This seems to be a trauma response, a self-sabotaging preemptive defense mechanism. Maybe it’ll ease with enough EMDR.
The difference is, hard is not impossible. Just difficult.
Why it seemed so impossible for my Dad to relate to me or anyone else makes sense in hindsight. It outright was impossible.
Happy birthday, HG. I hope you’ve treated yourself generously!
Nice post Loke. EMDR. Excellent, as is Cognitive behavioural therapy.
Happy Birthday HG
🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎈🎈
Thanks. DBT has been more helpful to me, but CBT certainly helps a lot of people too.
Glad to hear it helps Loke. I found CBT did wonders for me.
I am still stuck in the emotional numbness, for years now. Sometimes emotions flood back. There is this saying you never miss what you have never had. I can agree with this. I remember what it was like to feel. I do sometimes realise that logical thinking is great as I am stronger, but I do miss what other “normal” people have. I can control it very well though and can choose when to feel. But this empty hollow space sometimes overwhelms me.
Anna: you need a pet;) A dog! They will shake you out of it:) I promise!
I’m glad CBT worked for you. Whatever works is worth it!
Learning how to think differently and observe what twinges happen in your body that you may not recognize as emotional responses is hard. Really fucking hard. The numbness is comfortably uncomfortable. It doesn’t fit perfectly but you’re familiar enough with the sensation not to mind it. Sometimes the idea of feeling at full intensity again is appealing, sometimes it’s an overwhelming prospect. Which is better, which is worse? I don’t know either. The clarity of mind that comes with a dulled emotive sense is an asset, undoubtedly, and the cost is steep.
Of course you can’t really miss something you don’t have a memory of it that that you can feel. Memories are stored in the body and the senses. Trauma fractures many of the connections between the body and mind. With this kind of trauma, the experience of feeling is just too fucking much, so we unconsciously alter how we experience a memory by dulling the emotional impact it has on us. This creates a fracture between the self and the emotional being. It’s a self-defense mechanism seeking control over what has been uncontrollable before.
I spent a lot of time dissociated and so thoroughly cut off from my emotions as a kid and as a teenager. Being connected to them hurt too much, I couldn’t take the searing, frigid heat that experiencing them guarantees. So, they were forced into a basement at some point in my childhood, then I locked the door and hid the key from myself. Now as an adult, picking the lock is my next best option, which DBT is helping with. If this doesn’t work well enough, on to breaking down that fucking door with more intensive EMDR than before.
You’ll find your way out, Anna. One foot in front of the other, you’ll get where you’re going. =)
Matter of fact, honest, insightful, and chilling 😉
I was drawn recently to how much we project our own experiences and feelings onto others – projection – (not you) but narc’s in general and also empaths. Understanding something beyond our comprehension is hard. Generally, people see the world through this limited understanding. Thanks for sharing 🙂
Beautiful, sir. I love the way you’ve narrated the psychopathy series, how you inflect your voice so differently than in the Tudorscope videos and such. Your tone is cold and dark. You convey your detachment from others so well…but then there are moments in the 100K interviews where I would describe your voice as being quite gentle and understanding, the complete opposite of your psychopathy videos. It just demonstrates how good your cognitive empathy is.
“The art of manipulation presents itself as a thrilling game…” — This paragraph is lovely. I love the analogy to games and dance…It puts a number of images in my head.
Thank you so much for all you do, and looking forward to the next chapter of this series.
Hi Dani,
I thought the same thing when listening to the videos in the psychopath series. In the SoularFlow interview with Faye, she called them chilling. I couldn’t agree more.
I’m glad you brought this up. When I listened to the video he did after Queen Elizabeth passed away & the videos on Tina Turner, I had a similar reaction that you had to the 100k videos. In the Queen Elizabeth & Tina Turner videos, I almost thought he admired them. His voice was soft and it almost felt sympathetic. Was that genuine or a manipulation? I’m leaning toward manipulation.
“There is no misery, no sadness, no regret, no loneliness.”
Just a vague sense that something is missing? A little like knowing you have forgotten something but can’t remember what you forgot?
Eight years of running a successful blog is quite the achievement. Congratulations! Ten years will be better 😉 ( still working on it haha!)
Happy Birthday HG. X
Thank you TS.
Right on! Wow! I was married to an anti social and we were on our honeymoon and I thought we could be anywhere he is indifferent to the beauty of other countries. BUT what did thrill him gambling. He loves poker. He is retired but he liked business. Making money. Hoards it. Spending he abhors but the accumulation matters. It doesn’t matter what the purchase he is a multimillionaire who goes to the 99 cent store and drive 45 minutes for slightly rotted fruit. I recall one thanksgiving in front of a friend he had a fit I bought a Turkey from Trader Joe’s when there were 9.99$ turkeys at Ralph’s. My friend was there and was shocked as he was rich. She said I am surprised you have to deal with that. Sex was a transaction. I swear he wanted daily to justify I lived in his mansion despite being a mother to his child. It was ROTE never a connection. Technical. And he cheated. He cheated as after giving birth Right away I could not. So he brought a “ friend” to the house who bought my baby a Tiffany’s birthday set. I threw it out. I knew. Not the extent but I knew when she walked in the room. A contagion. But to be honest, I rushed in and I could not love him after knowing him better. I lost most desire. To this day, I don’t blame him. I wanted the divorce not him. Not that he was faithful but he wanted the old car in the garage while he drove new ones. He was very controlling. Your articles on art did not resonate with me as he had zero interest in the arts only boxing. He loved the raw violence of boxing. He taught his kids and boxed himself. Ironically my son who he wanted to adopt and thank God he didn’t, is a boxer. Unknown to me, he invited him to lunch with the girls and asked him if HE was the reason he was a boxer. Later I learned everyone silently laughed. I paid for it all and took him. Plus, it is my own sons calling not my ex. He once said to me there are two ways to deal with business: legal and illegal. I didn’t know of his criminal activities until I got a call from a federal crime unit which prompted me to divorce him. My dreams screamed at me. There was the trickster who would follow me with his rotting organ who wanted to show me the darkness. It was a dark parking garage. I became overly charitable and religious. I founded a charitable arm to a national organism and I gave away most of his old clothes from the 70s. He was 20 years older. He found this humorous and would joke about how charitable he was. Charity meant zero to him. One of the reasons I couldn’t love him right. His lack of love for his kids also detailed me. His son was very troubled. His mother was an alcoholic and dependent on my ex. His son was a drug addict and drug dealer who blew up a vehicle. Arson at 14. Juvie. Since then a life of rehab and jail…. I tried to intervene suggesting removing him to counseling, al alon classes, therapy…, all “ too expensive” as he bought himself another rolls Royce to my disgust. The divorce was unreal, the things he did. I had to hire a bodyguard. Constant death threats. On the day I was packed he showed up and said he would blow my brains out. I said “ Do your worst, I am leaving.” With the big moving guys standing behind me ( probably ex cons.) He did he sued me for full custody saying I was delusional ( seeing drugs, crimes and affairs). I got 80% custody two years later. I represented myself in the end and I fought like HELL. His top family law attorney told me I was like “ nothing he had ever seen.” And I asked him, “ how does it feel to make a career out of destroying kids.” I let the child custody escalator know his son ended up in prison and his other daughter ended up in a mental hospital. Well done lady! Her response was that protecting the other children was not her job and put a lot of the blame on their mother. The worst was he was Jewish and I am Christian but a lover of all faiths. I told him I couldn’t marry him outside the church and that our kids would have to be Christian. He said he had an epiphany when his sister died and he was in fact a believer in Christ. So we married, and baptized our daughter. He raised his hand saying he was a believer and attended church with me. But during the divorce he wanted Jewish holidays and Christmas. I wanted Christmas. His reply was if I wanted to get on my knees in front of Jesus, let her. It was said in a vulgar way. Now, the judge was Cuban and maybe Catholic and maybe that’s why the judge gave me Christmas and the 80% recommended by the child custody expert and evaluator. Btw she found no disorder with me, and found me very empathetic with the children but she did call me a mother bear. Lol Your article on dominion was dead on. I don’t think my ex was a narcissist. Doesn’t fit but ASPD. Yup. For anyone else dealing with this…we successfully raised our child. He did well. We have never spoke since the divorce. Not once. She was 5. She is now 21.
“Yet, in this alternate existence, I am forever haunted by a silent, hollow essence. No matter how much I manipulate, dominate, or control, the emptiness remains but this empty dominion is why I succeed, it is why I rise above others.”
I can understand the ‘black hole’ concept as you described as above. How I would describe my ‘darkness’ when I had it, was a heavy and dark mass, that I could not ‘remove’. I have explained it previously (dog, father) so I won’t repeat it. I can also understand not being able to ‘fill’ that “hollow essence” as I was not able to ‘replace’ my ‘darkness’ with anything else. I do remember what it was like. I don’t feel it any more. I did not like “it” (the ‘mass’) because it “dominated” me for some time.
Fascinating in how you have taught yourself to understand your “dominion” (previously called the ‘creature’) and that you recognise when you need to take back your power so that it does not take over. Exactly like your work is there to educate people on how to understand what ET is, how to manage it, understand what toxic logic is unless one reminds themselves to rein it in and take back control of their mind & emotions. Whereas you, may, ‘project’ your own “version” of ET (your ‘dominion’) onto, either, people (by whatever means), or, your work (whatever you are working on, as ‘HG’, or your other professional roles).
Would you suggest that your ‘dominion’ is the same as the ‘creature’, or, is that two separate ‘dominators’? I ask this because you know when you need fuel, or, distraction (from your boredom).
This series offers a different aspect of looking into understanding what a really small proportion of the population may experience as they go through life, yet, some may think differently in the way you think / look at the world as a whole. Because they are not you.
Thank you for this article, HG X
My dominion is different.
Thank you for answering my question, HG.
A messenger of the Emptiness, an enigma! No matter from what angle I look, amongst all of these unexpected worlds and fates – you are a gift! In your manifestations of what you are and were. And there is no return and what counts is the full picture. Even if not understood yet fully and simultaneously seen and felt. We lived unknowingly to who we were to you. I thought you were a fairytale, and those were just storytelling words, but they conveyed the truth all this time. And still I will remember “The root of this darkness was once a soul…”.
Thank you, HG, for this incredible insight and for every fiber of your mind, your energy and being! How magical that you were born in this majestic time of the year as golden flames engulf and transition nature’s heartbeat!
You are welcome Jordyguin.
You absolute beauty.
Beautifully written. Thank you for allowing the glimpse, HG.
You are welcome MB.