Knowing the Narcissist : The Cold Dead Stare



You should consider that you are rather fortunate to be given these glimpses into the workings of my mind. Ordinarily you are unable to peer into the dark mind of my kind and me.  As an empathic individual you do cultivate an ability to understand the way that other people are thinking and how they are feeling. It provides you with a degree of intuition and this is applicable to many of the people that you meet. You apply this ability for the purposes of doing good things and I understand why you do that.

Notwithstanding this ability, however, it does not work with us. You are unable to establish what is going through our minds or what we might be thinking, no matter how desperate you are, to be able to do this. This is because we do not abide by the normal rules and conventions of everyone else. We do not travel on the well-worn path but instead we take those routes which are far from the beaten path. These routes are tangled, unmapped and dangerous and they are so designed to prevent others from following us down them. We do not want you to know what we are thinking.

This is because we have no desire to convey to you any advantage in seeking to escape our effects and make it harder for us to obtain fuel from you. We must cloak our minds and make them impervious to your attempts to read them. We must operate through secrecy and covert behaviours so that you never see us coming, so that you never know what will happen next and so that you have no opportunity to evade us. Not only do we shroud our minds in this manner through our rejection of logic and the adoption of behaviours which are outside those considered normal, we also ensure you cannot read us through our eyes.

Many people look to the eyes as a device for gauging what someone might be thinking or perhaps more accurately feeling. If we are explaining something to somebody and we see confusion in that person’s eyes we know we must adopt a clearer method in our explanation. If we are conveying some news and see a pained expression in those eyes we know (if it was you making the comment) to alter the manner in which it is expressed to make it less painful or to do or say something to offer support. Of course, when we see it, we merely increase the pain in order to extract a reaction from you.

This weakness of the eyes in allowing another person to gauge how someone is feeling and therefore ascertain what they are thinking is not something that we can countenance. This is vulnerability and we do not like vulnerabilities at all. We have enough to contend with, without allowing you to see what they are. Accordingly, in order to ensure that our mind is impervious to your inspection we will either adopt a cold, dead look in our eyes which renders them impenetrable or we will simply reflect back at you what you are feeling and mislead you.

When we adopt that cold stare, it may be designed to induce a sense of dread in you but it has a primary purpose. This purpose is to create a shield so that you are unable to ascertain what we are thinking and thus our plotting mind is secure from external influence and can proceed in its scheming. Should we reflect back to you what you are showing to us, we are doing this to mislead you, but also again to prevent you from having any chance of understanding what is going on in our dark minds. Our minds are the core of our operations. Our minds control everything in order to achieve our aim of securing fuel and as such, this most precious of devices must not be compromised in any way by people like you and your meddling.

We must ensure that our minds are ring-fenced, cut-off and protected from your attempts to read us. Should you be able to do that then you will be taking away one of our advantages. We know what you are thinking and we know what you are going to do next because you are an empath and you not only wear your heart on your sleeve but you wear your mind there as well. Your eyes allow us straight into what you are thinking and feeling. Your mind may as well be transparent or broadcast its thoughts onto a flat screen for all to see. You are easy to work out and study, hence why we choose you. A similar fate must not befall us and this is why we ensure at all times that our minds are impervious to your penetration.

9 thoughts on “Knowing the Narcissist : The Cold Dead Stare

  1. Limor Gasko says:

    My father is a sociopath. He has the snake eyes. Do you think he gives a shit that i told him to never contact me again? We were his “main” family, the one he didn’t keep secret,
    so i thought it might -just maybe?- wound his pride more than a terciary source would Just curious. Any thoughts? Thank to you HG for all the insight.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      It would have irked him but he would not pay heed to your injunction to not contact you again.

      1. Limor Gasko says:

        Thank you so much for answering HG, its exciting to hear back from you! Maybe i beat the odds? I told my father to consider me no longer part of the family, and for the first time in my life neither he (sociopath) nor my mother (narc) called on my birthday. I believe it’s their pride that keeps them from trying , Im not worth the effort, right?
        Thank you again, I continue to learn from you. I especially liked your analysis of the romantic ideal being a scam perpetrated by narcissists, that was so original and brilliant. Thanks for the many insights!

      2. Limor Gasko says:

        I must say it gives me immense pleasure to know that I irked him. Thank you for that.

  2. Anna says:

    Excellent for playing a game of poker I must say.
    Nothing like a good poker face.
    Do you play cards HG?

    1. HG Tudor says:


      1. Anna says:

        Interesting. Your favourite game HG? Poker? Gin Rummy?

        I always have to think of the BBC series “league of gentleman”- “Go Johnny go go go go”
        Brings tears to my eyes. Hilarious.

      2. Anna says:

        Here is a link to the scene on YouTube

  3. Rebecca says:


    I remember when UMR TYPE B ELITE, my ex husband, would stare me down, right before he’d throw something at me. When he had my hand, there was no warning of his fury, before he’d grind my knuckles together. I still remember the shock of it and the pain. He would do that, usually when I laughed too loud, or said something he found embarrassing to him. Im glad i divorced him and got away from him. Xx

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