Knowing the Narcissist : This Time It Will Work

 

THIS-TIME-IT-WILL-WORK

When you first come into my sights, when you appear between those crosshairs and I sense your empathic qualities, your adherence to the traits which make you so attractive to me, I am filled with optimism. I have spoken on many occasions about my need to extract fuel on a daily basis. This ritual necessitates the acquisition of someone who will be my primary source and then a whole host of secondary and tertiary sources who are drawn from friends, family, strangers, colleagues and so forth. It is a ceaseless task but one which I am built for, one I have been designed for and one which I will always apply myself to.

I prefer to conserve my energies and that is why I live in hope that this time the person that I have targeted will be the one who will not let me down. On this occasion I have found the person who will be my primary source so that I never have to embark on the devaluation of this person because they have failed in their obligation to provide me with fuel. Many people may regard me as prejudicial person and it is true that I pre-judge people, but only ever do so on the basis of satisfactory evidence.

I look for the necessary traits in how you interact with others, the things that you say and what you do. I watch carefully before I make my move. When I see the very things which I cherish and require for the purposes of gathering fuel, I experience an elation. There is excitement and anticipation. Mostly it is because of the fuel which I hope to gather from you, that delicious and golden fuel which super charges me, invigorates me and provides me with the power to sail through life charming and attracting. However, my excitement is not all based on the anticipation of tasting your fuel. No, a significant part of my anticipation is borne out of the fact that you might just be the one.

You could be that person who does not let me down. You could be the one who finally provides me with such sweet fuel that I never have to go elsewhere for a primary supply. I cannot give up my supplementary sources as they are a reserve and a contingency for when I am not able to draw my main fuel from you as my primary source. This is not because I have cast you aside or because you have committed that treacherous act of escaping me and instigating no contact. Not at all. The reserve is required because owing to various factors I cannot be by your side every hour of day or in some form of contact with you to this extent.

This means that much as I delight in your sweet, sweet fuel, I am forced to obtain it elsewhere and this is from those supplementary sources. It is you however that I still look to for the best fuel. You who I look to in order to provide me with the most fuel and to do so with comforting regularity. I want this fuel from just one primary source. You seem to think that I revel in the abuse that I dole out when I devalue my primary source victim, but I do not. It may look that way, a side effect of the power that courses through me as I drink deep of that negative fuel but in truth I would much rather never have to go down that route.

I would prefer that you continue to pump out that positive fuel to such an extent that it always remains satisfactory for me. I want you to be the one that is always there, reliable, dependable and magnificent in the production of your fuel. You would benefit too. There would be no awful abuse as devaluation takes place. There would be no mystifying discard (mystifying to you at least – it makes perfect sense to me) and then I would not even have to go to the trouble of applying various types of hoover in order to bring you back to me.

Imagine avoiding all of that and remaining in the glorious golden period of seduction the whole time? I know how much you love that. I have seen it in your eyes, I have seen you speak of it and of course I have seen how hard you have fought at times to recover it. You adore and worship the golden period and you can have that. You can have that all the time. All I ask of you is to keep providing me with that fuel at the potency and level that is appropriate and demanded. It cannot be too difficult for you can it? You once did it. You provided it brilliantly but then you let me down by not providing the quality I was used to.

You diminished the frequency and became unreliable, thus hurting me and that could not be countenanced. You had to be hurt in return. There was no hope for any other way. Imagine being able to avoid bringing all that horror on yourself as you keep doing what is necessary. You keep giving me my fuel at the prescribed level and in return you get to stay in the golden period forever. This is what I hope for too and you think that I am selfish. Not at all. We both win. You have the golden period and I have the golden fuel. This is what I hope for each time a new target presents itself and I begin my work to consider moving to the seduction of this target.

I am filled with hope, I am filled with optimism that this time, just for once, you will keep on doing what I need and you will not let me down. No matter how many times this has happened in the past. No matter how many times I have been betrayed and hurt by the treasonable conduct of those who said, so many times, that they loved me and they always would, I have always continued to believe in the power and capacity that the next target may just be the one. I am not a bad person for believing in that way am I? I just want to find the right one for me. Just like you do.

You want to find the person that you will love for the rest of your life, I want to find the person whose fuel I will love for the rest of my life. Surely you can understand and appreciate that? Surely you must accept that such a notion is noble? Surely you understand why I always think that you might be the one. This time.

18 thoughts on “Knowing the Narcissist : This Time It Will Work

  1. WiserNow says:

    The graphic for this post is amazing. A very creative artwork. Did you create it, HG?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      I created there thumbnail, I did not create the image contained within it.

      1. WiserNow says:

        It’s a great thumbnail, HG.

        It makes me wonder, do you think of and select the images for your thumbnails yourself, or are the images selected by the person you employ as a graphic artist?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          I select the images myself, save where I issue a brief to the designer to create something.

          1. WiserNow says:

            It’s a positive development to see that the rank misogyny of some of the graphics used in the past has reduced.

          2. HG Tudor says:

            Then I must strive harder to include more.

          3. Contagious says:

            HG you should sell them online!

          4. HG Tudor says:

            I shall consider doing so.

          5. WiserNow says:

            Hello again HG,

            Please allow me to rephrase my earlier comment.

            I think you select compelling, creative, artistic, stylish, and appropriate images for each post, and I enjoy looking at them at length and contemplating them. The images are compelling in themselves and also when considered in relation to the relevant post.

            Having said that, I have noticed that there are now more images that are gender-neutral than there were in the past. I think that is a positive development. I also think it is positive that there are fewer images that depict women in ways that are generally perceived as sexually demeaning or objectifying.

          6. HG Tudor says:

            Thank you.

            How disappointing, I shall have to revisit the imagery if that is the case.

          7. Allison says:

            I must admit that I find the images of women in bound situations or in distress especially stimulating. I wouldn’t want them to go away. I also recall an especially juicy image of female buttocks. Great lighting on that one. Very emphatic. Then, of course, there’s the Spanked graphic…

            Excuse me. I’ve got to go.

          8. NarcAngel says:

            HG
            I enjoy the images (and the hidden images within) and the messages they convey. My feeling is, If the images are meant to convey how a narcissist actually sees people or situations, then graphic, misogynist, objectifying, and sexually demeaning images will illustrate those views/thoughts with more accuracy. A jolting visual reminder can sometimes be as, or more effective than a body of text. Unpleasant for some perhaps, but effective and possibly even necessary on occasion to drive the point home. I value the accuracy you provide. It is but one of the things that sets you and your work far above the others.

          9. HG Tudor says:

            Thank you NA.

          10. WiserNow says:

            Speaking of compelling images, I was at a shopping centre yesterday, and this shopping centre has a store called ‘Bras N Things’, which is a line of stores that sells all kinds of women’s underwear.

            Bras N Things’ stores have windows covered with floor to ceiling images of larger than life, close-up shots of women wearing lacy, strappy, revealing underwear.

            While walking past the store yesterday, there was a man in front of me walking along. He was with several people that looked like his wife or girlfriend and friends or family.

            I watched this man walk past and as he did, he looked at the images and his eyes almost popped out while walking and his face was blank with his mouth slightly agape.

            It made me chuckle on the inside.

            There is another line of stores in Australia called ‘Honey Birdette’ which sells women’s lingerie of a more risque and suggestive nature. Their stores also had/have windows featuring larger than life images. That is, before their advertising and shop fronts were banned following complaints claiming such advertising is highly inappropriate in public spaces frequented by families, children and minors.

    2. Joa says:

      WiserNow, is a fragment of Salvador Dali’s painting – L’Aurora (Dawn).

      1. WiserNow says:

        Thank you, Joa.

        Salvador Dali painted some thought-provoking scenes. He used eggs as a symbol in his art.

        1. Joa says:

          To put it more bluntly, he was quite crazy about eggs and clocks πŸ™‚ As a 20-year-old, I was momentarily fascinated by his paintings and his eccentric, imaginary way of being/living πŸ™‚ And if something catches my attention, it stays with me/in me forever.
          He was a very prolific painter (and sculptor), at least several hundred paintings, and maybe more – although the elements were repetitive and specific – as with most artists.

          In keeping with the theme of this blog, it’s obvious who he was. He designed and built his museum himself – it’s so typical πŸ™‚ His comprehensive, commercial activities in the world of advertising, fashion, culinary art + fragments of childhood memories: his deceased “better” brother, the way his parents raised him – are clear.

          β€œAt the age of six, I wanted to become a cook. When I was seven – Napoleon. From then on, my ambition continued to grow, as did my mania for grandeur. When I was fifteen, I wanted to be Dali and I became him.”

          Curious personality.

          1. WiserNow says:

            Salvador Dali was definitely unusual. I think a perfect word for him is ‘eccentric’.

            His melting clocks are iconic. I think the ideas behind his paintings and the symbols he used were original and innovative, especially for the era in which he painted them.

            I think his painting called ‘The Metamorphosis of Narcissus’ – from 1937 – was very perceptive for the time.

            Several years ago, I wrote a comment here on the blog about this painting. Dali wrote a poem to accompany it and the poem explains the painting and it also explains narcissism very well. My comment from back then, which includes the poem, is below:

            https://narcsite.com/2019/12/24/seconds-out-round-one-4/#comment-326116

            Yes, I think you are right. It is obvious what he was. Also, his painting and poem show that he knew about and also contemplated deeply the phenomenon. It sounds like he was self-aware. He reached the heights of his art and became very popular – perhaps he was a greater, to use HG’s categories πŸ™‚

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