All posts by HG Tudor

I am letting you see my worldview for your own protection.

Blameshifter

 

 BLAMESHIFTER

It is fundamental that we remain unaccountable for our actions. One of the most effective ways of avoiding this accountability, provoking you and leaving you exasperated and stunned is to engage in blame-shifting. We are the blame shifters who will always use this form of manipulation in our ceaseless quest to maintain the upper hand.

Not only is it the case that we believe we are entitled to complete immunity for what we say and do, occasioned by our innate superiority, we also believe it to be necessary for us to be able to gather fuel as often and as effectively as we do. If we were slowed down by having to make meaningful apologies, explain ourselves, account for what we have done and accept responsibility for the consequences this would absorb time that would be far better spent in the pursuit of fuel. Hampering us in such a way would result in us becoming weaker since we would not be able to gather as much fuel as usual. It is therefore necessary, so we remain sleek, effective and light of foot, for us to never be concerned about accountability and also to never allow responsibility to rest with us. As with many of our machinations, this approach also allows us to gather fuel in itself by the imposition of blame on others, usually you and the astonished and outraged emotional response which then flows from this staggering act of walking away scot free. As ever, words are our best allies when it comes to throwing off the attempt to make us assume the mantle of responsibility. Here are five of our favourites.

  1. What do you expect me to do about it?

 A delicious subtle piece of blame-shifting to begin with. We do not even state that we regard it as your fault, your responsibility or your liability with this question. Nevertheless, the implication is clear – we expect you to do something about it because we do not ‘do’ responsibility, your role is to clear up after us and you signed up to that role when you accepted our overtures. Did you miss that term of the contract? Don’t blame us, that’s your own fault.

I regularly brag about how brilliant and special I am. That I have many talents and if I so chose I could remedy many situations within moments, but notwithstanding this being the stance that I adopt to the world at large, I am not going to do that with you. Not a chance. I am not here to pick up the pieces after you, although I expect you to do so for me repeatedly. I can do as I like and you are obliged to make good the damage that I cause – collect the broken pieces of crockery, apologise to the shell-shocked friend after an outburst, try to solve the financial headache that we have left. If you have caused a problem, and let’s face it, it is always your fault anyway, you cannot expect me to do something about it. I am above such menial tasks. I have important and bigger things to attend to. Such as? I don’t have to explain myself to the likes of you. If I caused the problem (which in reality is usually the case) I am not going to do anything about it.

  1. Deal with it.

 

That’s the way it is and you had better get used to it. This haughty declaration is par the course for our sense of entitlement to do as we please. We bulldoze through everything and you just have to put up with it. You can’t walk away; we will not allow that to happen. Issuing this barked instruction at you is an effective way of upsetting you. It is telling you that you are useless and you should just be getting on with the situation rather than complaining about it. You shouldn’t be complaining; you should have already guessed that you needed to sort the situation out. Don’t ask me for help because I just do not have time for this mickey mouse nonsense.

  1. You caused this to happen.

We like to maintain that we act with the omnipotence of a god but how many times have you found that you have somehow caused something to happen so that it would suggest that you exercise the powers of a deity? My late arrival was down to you. My failure to remember something was caused by you. My infidelity for the sixth time was wholly as a consequence of what you have done. At its most brutal this declaration is issued without any explanation as to why it is that you caused the problem to arise. We say that it is the case therefore that must be right. Does this exchange seem familiar?

“Why is that the case?”

“It just is.”

“But why?”

“Because I say so.”

Other than our kind, who comes out with such assertions bereft of reality or explanation? That’s right, children. That tells you all you need to know about our mentality when we accuse you of being the one who has caused the problem. If you are “fortunate” enough to be given some kind of explanation it makes perfect sense when viewed from our perspective, although it will not from yours. That is deliberate. We want you to feel astonished, bewildered and annoyed at our sheer audacity to make the connection between our wrongdoing and your causation.

“If you were more loving I wouldn’t go elsewhere.”

“What do you mean by that? I couldn’t be anymore loving towards you.”

“Oh that’s right, deny it is anything to do with you and make me out to be the bad person.”

“Well, it is you who had the affair.”

“Caused by you.”

“How?”

“I have already told you and if you cannot accept that then there is no point continuing with this conversation.”

You get no answer no acceptance of blame. All you get is a tenuous (in your world but not ours) explanation as to why our wrongdoing is all down to you.

  1. Why do you have to spoil everything?

A cousin of the third shirking above but with an added layer of blame. In the above example, you have caused the problem although you may not necessarily have intended it. With this statement we are telling you that not only is the problem not of our doing, it is your fault and guess what? You meant to do it because you are such an awful and horrible person. Our rampant paranoia causes us to believe that you are out to get us, to topple us and that you are plotting to unseat us as a consequence of our behaviour towards you during devaluation. This is why whenever anything goes wrong you are the architect of that misfortune as you have purposefully set out to cause a problem for us, driven by your innate nastiness and jealousy.

  1. Why do you make my life so hard?

Poor us. Put upon by you and your terrible behaviours. This is often thrown at you when you begin to wise-up to our manipulations and either through choice or out of sheer exhaustion you are no longer engaging with our provocations and machinations. What we are actually saying to you here is, “Why do you make it so hard to extract fuel from you?” Your failure to play ball and do what we want is causing us to expend more energy in order to get the negative fuel from you and in accordance with our outlook as a victim, you are doing this on purpose. We need to get that fuel and you should be helping us, not hindering us, no wonder we lash out at you as we do because you are horrible and you make our lives far more difficult and hard than you should or once did.

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You Should

YOU SHOULD

What is the prevailing mind-set of the Mid Range Narcissist? What is going through the mind of the member of the largest school of narcissism when an appliance has been treacherous and disloyal? Does he manifest the malice that is exhibited by the Greater school or is his response different? What is he thinking when there is treason committed in the Kingdom of Mid-Range? Whether the appliance has escaped him, exposed him, challenged him or some other capital crime against the nation-state of narcissism, the Mid-Ranger’s mind goes into overdrive. This is a glimpse inside to understand what he or she believes.

You should not have done that to me. You should be thankful for who I am. You should be giving thanks to whichever god you follow that you have someone like me in your life, someone who cares, someone who is considerate, someone who only wants the best for you. You should be ashamed of the way you have treated me. You should apologise this instant. You should say sorry to me for the way you have behaved. You should treat others the way you want to be treated and not going around behaving like you are something special. You should realise I am something special and you keep treating me terribly. You should understand that I am a good, honest and decent person and not everybody would put up with your hysterical outbursts. You should know how hard it is to love somebody like you, but I do. You should be grateful for that.

You should know who you are messing with. You should be wary of getting on the wrong side of me you know. You should make sure you keep me happy because you will not like me when I am not happy. You should be looking out for me and not gadding around after other people. You should learn what your priorities are. You should spend more time with me. You should know when to leave me alone. You should be here and doing what I want. You should try giving for once rather than doing all of this taking.

You should be more aware of the way that you treat people and especially me. You should think more about how your actions impact on me. You should take my feelings into account and stop being so selfish. You should realise just what you do hurts me. You should understand that the things you say and do to me have consequences. You should stop making it all about you and let me have a say from time to time. You should stop being so obsessed with your friends’ lives and think about our lives together. You should spend less time with your family, they do not appreciate you in the way I do.

You should stop telling lies about me. You should get your own house in order before you start telling me how I should lead my life. You shouldn’t live in a glass house you know and throw stones. You should stop being such a nasty person to someone who has only ever been good to you. You should stop smearing my name to other people. You should take a look in the mirror. You should take a good look in the mirror actually.

You should stop putting me down. You should do what I want for a change. You should come back and apologise, I am a reasonable person and you should recognise that. You should make things right again because after all this is all your fault. You should stop fighting with me, I do not know why you have to do this. You should stop trying to tie me in knots. You should be more considerate. You should think about me more. You should sort this mess out because you are the only one who has caused it.

You should see how hard I have been trying for us. You should recognise a good person when you see one. You should know I have made the changes you demanded but you should be making some of your own as well. You should realise just how much I have tried for you and me.

You should know what other people say about you. You should realise that I put up with people saying bad things about you and you should be grateful I defend you to them, but I won’t keep doing it forever. You should realise you are not as popular as you think you are. You should be aware that I am a popular person and you won’t come out of this looking good at all.

You shouldn’t treat me like this. You shouldn’t destroy what I have built. You should recognise a good person, an honest person, a truthful person like me. You should learn just what you have lost by behaving like this. You should see just how many people hold me in high regard. You should be so happy to have someone like me, someone who people think well of and they do, just ask anybody and they will tell you. You should take the time to realise that I am a good person and consider what you are doing to me, to us, to what we have.

You should stop hurting me. You should stop getting a kick out of this horrible treatment of me. You should stop being mean to someone who loves you. You should help me. You should love me more. You should show me that you mean it. You should stop with the pretence. You should be genuine like me. You should stop playing the games. You should be the person that would make your grandmother proud. You should be the best person you can be for me.

You should get some help. You should see someone. You should go to therapy. You should sort these problems out. You should stop blaming me. You should stop projecting your problems and insecurities on to me. You should stop the game-playing, I am cleverer than you so I see straight through it. You should tell the truth for once You should stop making up stories about me. You should reflect on what you do. You should get some insight into what you are actually doing. You should shut up and listen to me for once. You should go and see the doctor. You should take your medication. You should stop being such a borderline. You should stop being such an attention-seeker. You should stop dodging the issue. You should address your issues.

You should let me speak. You should give me a chance to make things right again. You should come back because you owe me. You should let me show you what I can do. You should understand sometimes I don’t know what comes over me. You should make allowances for my behaviour because you are worse. You should not focus on the handful of supposedly bad things I do when I do way more good things. You should listen to why I do those things because if you did you would realise there is always a very good reason behind it. You should understand I have to disappear once in a while because your behaviour becomes too much. You should understand I am not sulking, I am just being quiet. You should accept I have to tell people about the way you behave because otherwise I would go mental. You should think about the names I call you and realise I am actually trying to help you because otherwise you will not listen. You should stop trying to blame me for everything that goes wrong and instead be grateful for what I do for you.

You should give it a rest now because you are giving me a headache. You should go and let me rest because I have been working hard all day. You should rub my back. You should make me something to eat. You should be there when I come home. You should stay out of my way when I am fed up of you. You should ask me how I am and not keep telling me about what you want. You should stop telling me how I should behave. You should see what I have to deal with. You should try being me. You should understand how much pain I am in from my back and not complain about your own supposed ailments. You should show some consideration for me now and again. You should get off your high horse. You should give it a rest. You should try walking in my shoes. You should try being me for a day. You should look at it from my point of view. You should make allowances. You should be more tolerant.

You should do it because you want to. You should do it for us. You should have more faith. You should have more discipline. You should have more resolve. You should let me in. You should keep out. You should learn when to speak. You should learn when to stay quiet. You should be seen and not heard. You should follow me. You should watch what I do . You should learn from an expert. You should stick with me. You should be mine. You should stay away from him. You should not speak to them. You should know what is best for you. You should know home is where the heart is. You should know where you bread is buttered. You should know how lucky you are to have me.

You should come back.

You should because I say so.

You just should.

The Five Hatreds of the Narcissist

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The loss of our precious fuel weakens us. Criticism, when delivered in an emotion-free fashion wounds us and we need fuel to recover from such injurious criticism. If that fuel is not available or is reduced then we are placed in a perilous state which causes panic,chaos and a frenzied reaction to avoid this. Many things may send us to this place, a place which I call The Precipice. Here are five things we hate as they will start the slide towards The Precipice.

  1. Not Being Invited

 

Our massive sense of entitlement means that we should always be invited to events. Whether it is a birthday, retirement party, wedding or graduation we should be invited to attend. How can the host not want us there? We are the star of the show, the main attraction, the reason to be there. People are not there for the birthday boy, they want to see us. They are not really bothered about the happy couple, they prefer to be entertained by us and our tales of achievement or for us to exhibit our superlative dance steps during the reception. An event is not an event without us in attendance. We are the archetypal life and soul of the party. Fireworks fly when we appear, stardust is thrown liberally around and we turn the volume up to eleven. We cannot comprehend why we should not be invited when we bring so much to the party. This deprives us of a huge opportunity to extract fuel from so many people when emotion will be electrifying the air. It is akin to shooting a fish in the barrel and we have not been invited. This not only takes away a golden chance to consume fuel but it also suggests that we are not wanted, that somehow we do not pass muster to attend this event. That is nonsensical and as such is a massive criticism to us. How dare they not invite us? It is our right to be there. That is our audience, our crown, our delighted guests, not somebody else’s. We hate not being invited. So that’s why we will turn up anyway and act as if we were first on the guest list.

  1. Coming Second

We are born winners, pioneers, leaders and champions. Number one is all that matters. That is where the adoration is directed. That is why the winner’s podium is higher than the other two. That is why the winner gets the jackpot, the applause, the admiration and the plaudits. They all belong to us. We are destined to win and being the champion is our rightful place. Nobody wants silver. Who wants to be the runner-up? That means failure. That means somebody else has bettered you. That means someone else is going to get all the attention. Second is pointless. Second is redundant. I don’t want commiseration and empty praise for having come so close, I want to win. If I am second then I am regarded as inferior, not of the elevated state I know I am but that I need others to accept and reinforce. Coming second encapsulates all that is associated with the outcome which makes you who you are and is not something that should ever be rightfully associated with me. I hate to come second. I want to win. At everything and all the time, from being first in the queue, first to be served, the biggest biller, the biggest seller, the one with the best car, the one people always greet first, the one who wins the argument and I will do all of this at any cost to you and in any twisted and convoluted way which avoids the horror of being second.

  1. The Spotlight Shining Elsewhere

 

Why are you listening to him and not me? He is an idiot and he knows nothing. Listen to me. I am far more interesting. Anything he has done I have done already and then some more as well. He has a forehead? Yes well have you seen my five head? Don’t pay attention to other people, pay attention to me. The spotlight has to be on me all the time. I live my life as if I am starring in a movie with my personal soundtrack echoing in my ears as I move through my day. From the moment I rise from my bed all eyes need to be on me, watching me, admiring me and giving me attention. No matter what I am doing it needs to be seen by someone and the more people the better as their viewing is accompanied by their praise, admiration, hatred or anger. It does not matter what the emotion is that accompanies their attention so long as it is on me. Send that attention elsewhere and I am being told I am not important and even worse, someone else is more important than me. That is not right. That cannot be the case. How can you think that that person is more entertaining, better looking, more captivating than me? Train the spotlight elsewhere and you are telling me I am not good enough and I know I am. Aren’t I?

  1. Not Given Recognition

 

My arrival anywhere should be accompanied by a fanfare. I should be announced wherever I go. People should bow in acceptance of my greatness, kow-tow to my gravitas, salute, kiss my hand, go down on their knees and do whatever else is required to exhibit subservience to me. I must be given due accord because do you know who I am? I must always be mentioned in dispatches. I must always be referred to during a meeting. I must be pointed out, identified and highlighted in keeping with my superior status. I cannot stand it when I am not given my right to be recognised. I have that as a God-given right and you had better comply with your obligation to recognise me and all my amazing achievements.

  1. Being Alone For Too Long

 

People often think that my kind hate to be alone. That is not quite accurate. We can be content to be alone for a period of time when we are receiving significant fuel. There is always room, of course, for more fuel, but when we have received copious amounts then we are content to be left alone so we can revel in our own manufactured glory and turn our mind to our next conquest. This alone time allows us to plot, scheme and plan. When I mean alone, I mean away from people physically but also not in contact with them through technology. Complete isolation. If we have taken on board enough fuel we can endure it for a time. Therein lies the important part. For a time.

If we are left alone for too long and the effect of the fuel diminishes then we become restless, then anxious and then thrown into the panic as we edge towards The Precipice. Being left alone for too long means that people must not be interested in us anymore otherwise why are we alone? They do not want to contact us, interact with us, pour their praise towards us, make us feel wanted, hated, loved or adored. Their interest must be elsewhere if we have been left alone for too long and this is not something we can stand. We are being ignored, ostracised and excluded. We need people. We need attention. We need you. Please. Did you hear me? I said we need you. Open the door and let me out now. I need attention, any attention, from someone it does not matter who, just don’t leave me alone for too long.

The Dwarves and the Shoemaker

 

the-dwarves

Once upon a time there was a shoemaker who worked very hard and was very honest. Despite his industry however, he could not earn enough to live upon. One day he returned from the pawnbrokers to his waiting wife,

“Well I have pawned nearly everything we have save some leather and my tools. We can at least pay the rent this month so we will have a roof over our head come Christmas,” he said.

“It is the rent that is the problem, dear husband,” answered the wife, “if it was not so extortionate we would not be in this pickle. Every month the landlord’s agent, that horrible Mr Leff Tennent comes round here and tells us that the landlord has increased the rent, again.”

“I know dear wife, I do not know why he just does not evict us?”

“It is because you keep trying ever harder to please him, that is why and look at us now. Nothing to eat and Christmas on the horizon. What are we to do?”

“Well I have enough leather for one pair of shoes which I shall make tomorrow and hopefully a well-to-do customer will purchase them from me and all will be well. Worry not dear wife, we have one another and our honesty, our decency and our compassion.”

So the husband and wife headed upstairs to lie on the straw mattress, their bed having earlier been sold.

In the morning the shoemaker rose, said his prayers with a rumbling empty stomach and went downstairs to the workshop. There on the work bench was a beautiful pair of leather shoes fashioned to the highest quality. The shoemaker knew not what to say at such an odd thing happening. He examined the workmanship and there was not one false stitch in the whole job.

Later that day a Somatic Narcissist arrived at the shoemakers and with doting Empath in tow, the Somatic wanted to show off and he bought the shoes and with no regard for his already straining overdraft, paid over the odds for the marvellous shoes and departed with a flourish. The shoemaker was elated. The money paid enabled him to buy enough leather for two pairs of shoes and food to last for him and his wife for a week.

In the evening, the shoemaker cut out the leather and went to bed early so that he might get up and commence work on the shoes in the morning. He was saved the trouble however as when he came downstairs to the workshop he found that two pairs of magnificent shoes with red soles had been fashioned.

As soon as the shoemaker opened the shop an Elite Narcissist appeared and purchased both pairs of shoes for a dirty little secret he needed to keep sweet. The Elite Narcissist in keeping with his status and grandeur paid handsomely for the shoes to the extent that there was sufficient money for the shoemaker to purchase leather for four shoes and for him to pawn back his Ephone from the pawnbrokers.

Once again the shoemaker cut out the leather and in the morning came down and found the work had been done once again and he found four pairs of boots polished and buffed ready for sale.

So it went on with the shoemaker buying more and more leather and his wife splurging on the Rainforest internet store as she stocked up with essential goods such as a text messaging chandelier, an epod toilet speaker, a head massager and a noodle fan. Happy days indeed! Every night the shoemaker would cut out the leather and in the morning a number of immaculate shoes and boots would be waiting for him to sell.

One evening, about Christmas time, the shoemaker and his wife were sitting over the fire chatting together and he said to her,

“We have been most blessed by whoever it is that is making these shoes and boots for us. I should like to sit up and watch tonight to see who comes and does my work for me. ”

The wife liked the thought so they left a light burning and hid themselves in a corner of the workshop behind a curtain that was hung up there and watched would happen.

As soon as it was midnight there came in seven naked dwarfs and they sat themselves at the shoemaker’s bench and all the work that was cut out. Just then a tall sinewy figure entered. It was Mr Leff Tennent.

“Right you miserable vertically challenged reprobates my boss, Nicholas Ark wants his money worth,” hissed Tennent at the dwarves, “so tonight we need product for Noke, Udidas, James Choo Choo Train and Miaow Miaow so get those made first and then the rejects can be left for the loser who runs this place,” ordered Tennent.

“Begging your pardon Mr Tennent but when might we get our clothes back?” asked one of the dwarves, “it is rather chilly around the old willy in here.”

“Suck it up buttercup,” announced Tennent, “Mr Ark did not want you wandering around town in orange jumpsuits with Community Payback plastered on the back, drawing attention to this place, not when using your labour he can undercut the Chinese orphans and Indian slumkids.”

The dwarves lowered their heads and cracked on with their shoemaking skills.

“That is terrible, fancy making them work naked,” whispered the wife to the shoemaker

“Really?” muttered the empathic shoemaker

“Yes the poor chaps must be rather cold, no wonder they work so quickly.”

“But the fact they are undercutting the Chinese orphans and the Indian slum kids whilst diverting my product to Western Icons of Capitalist Exploitation does not concern you?” asked the shoemaker.

“Well now you come to mention it, yes, how come you didn’t think of it?” asked the wife.

The next day the shoemaker said to his wife.

“Those naked dwarves have made us a good living and we ought to be thankful to them, so we should do them a good turn. I am sorry to seem them run about naked, well all save the bald one ooh, my, he is buffed and ripped, ahem, anyway I shall make them a shirt and a coat a pair of shoes, a waistcoat and a pair of pantaloons.”

“Bollocks to that laughing boy, run them up a onesie each and be done with it.”

Ever eager to pleas,e the shoemaker prepared seven onesies all labelled with the names of the Sins of the Empath for he had heard their names used by Mr Tennant the previous night.

“These onesies are so comfortable and warm that they will be mightily pleased with them, “ smiled the kind shoemaker.

The cobbler made the clothing and shoes and instead of laying out the cut leather he placed the clothing ready for the dwarves before he and his wife hid once again and waited for their arrival.

Around midnight the dwarves appeared and shuffled into place, morose looks on their faces. Yet when they saw the onesies they smiled and laughed and put them on in the twinkle of an eye, happiness radiating from each and every one.

“What in the name of Satan’s pitchfork is going on here?” shouted Leff Tennent when he entered the store.

The dwarves stopped their jigging and jubilation.

“Where’s the raw product?” asked Tennent. The dwarves shrugged.

“There is none,” said the shoemaker as he emerged from behind the curtain.

“What do you want loser?” asked Tennent.

“This sweatshop is closed and you are to release these fine fellows from their indentured servitude. I shall look after them now as proper employees with attendant benefits and health insurance.”

“Oh no you won’t,” snarled Tennent, “by interrupting this order you are in breach of contract and liquidated ascertained damages are er massive, so pursuant to the clauses in this contract,” said Tennent plucking what looked like a chocolate bar wrapper from his pocket, “Mr Ark is entitled to all your money, seizure of all chattels and equipment and your immediate eviction. Now piss off.”

“I am not standing for that!” declared the shoemaker. “In the name of light and all that is good, we shall rise up against you, who is with me boys?” cried the shoemaker looking to rally the seven dwarves yet when he turned to them he found that they were all sound asleep, a combination of their fatigue and the new found warmth and comfort of their onesies.

“Come on dear wife, we can take him!” said the shoemaker.

“I am afraid not Cobbler Balls, Mr Ark has made me a once in a lifetime offer to supervise his Golden Period Shoppe on Illusion Lane so I am with him now. Smeared you good and proper he did, you loon!”

And with that the sinewy Leff Tennent booted the shoemaker out into the cold of the night, slammed the door shut and bolted it.

As he sat on the icy cobbles mulling over his fate the shoemaker heard the slap of a hand on backside and the fruity giggle of Mrs Shoemaker as he heard the dwarves chanting,

“Triangulate! Triangulate! Triangulate!”

The shoemaker sighed and felt the first tear of dejection trickle down his cheek as penury and misery beckoned.

And Mr N Ark, Mr Leff Tennent and Mrs Shoemaker had an enjoyable and fuel filled menage a trois ever after.

When Narcissists Collide – Part Two

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What is the dynamic when a Lesser Narcissist and a Mid-Range Narcissist become entangled with one another? Briefly, the Lesser is categorised by a lower level of cognitive function, low control threshold on the ignited fury, reduced levels of charm, a narrower stable of manipulations, an often chaotic life in terms of relationships,work, addictions and finance and a greater propensity for physical violence. The Mid-Range Narcissist is passive-aggressive, with increased charm and cognitive function compared to the Lesser, less likely to use physical violence but instead rely on silent treatments and sulking, makes use of pity plays and seeks sympathy, turns to others for assistance in manipulating individuals and has a wider array of manipulations to rely on. Again, neither of these individuals know what they are nor do they recognise their kind. How do these two types of narcissist interact with one another?

As an overarching philosophy, the interaction of the Lesser and the Mid-Ranger is one of cat and mouse. Both are in the fight for fuel but have different tools to hand to achieve this. The Lesser will be the agent provocateur, with the Mid-Ranger playing the hard done to individual although he or she will unleash their passive aggressive manipulations as they fight for fuel from one another.

Within the familial narcissistic dynamic, there is no seduction between the two as a consequence of the two individuals being brought together by reason of being related. Let us take the example of two adult sisters. The Lesser will look to draw fuel from the Mid-Range narcissist by competing. The Lesser is likely to be jealous of the Mid-Range who may well be perceived as more accomplished and successful, in terms of job, quality of home, social circle and such like. The Lesser will regard this success as an inherent criticism of the Lesser which will ignite her fury. She cannot help but lash out at her sister and will do so by accusing her of having her nose stuck in the air, being Lady Muck, suggesting her achievements are not her own but those of other people and so forth. Anything in order to achieve the upper hand in the dynamic between the two. The aggression exhibited by the Lesser Sister towards the Mid-Range Sister will provide the Mid-Range Sister with fuel but the nature of the challenge will mean that she will also look to draw fuel from other people by way of pity play and seeking sympathy. Thus one can expect in the context of say a family gathering, the Lesser will feel the need to verbally attack the Mid-Ranger, often with ad hominem insults such as “You’ve put on more weight since the last time I saw you” or “I have a dress like that, it does not suit me either.”

If the Lesser makes these comments in an angry or savage fashion, the Mid-Ranger gains fuel. If the Lesser (which is less likely) states them in a fuel free way, then this will wound the Mid-Ranger who will either retreat from the Lesser with a silent treatment and/or seek sympathy fuel from non-narcissist third parties. The Mid-Ranger’s hurt response will provide fuel to the Lesser. Thus when the Mid-Ranger bleats, “Why are you always picking on me?” or “Leave me alone, why do you have to be so hateful?” the Lesser gains fuel. Should the Mid-Range respond with a silent treatment then this does not provide the Lesser Sister with fuel, so she will pursue the Mid-Ranger trying to break the silent treatment. This pursuit is likely to give the Mid-Ranger more fuel as the Lesser Sister becomes more and more annoyed and frustrated by the silence. The Mid-Range will maintain the silent treatment until she receives sufficient fuel to heal the wound and will then speak again or the Lesser, deprived of fuel and furious because of the criticism which arises from silence, is forced to seek fuel elsewhere.

If the two sisters are in isolation, any interaction will soon descend into an argument and the Mid-Ranger implementing a silent treatment in order to defend herself. The Lesser will keep goading the Mid-Ranger until she provides fuel again or will break off and storm away to lash out at somebody else, cursing the baby-like behaviour of her sister as she has her own temper tantrum.

If the two sisters are with other family members, the Mid-Ranger will first turn to them for sympathy and help in halting the attack of the Lesser. This is likely to descend into allegation counter allegation and all manner of manipulations as there is triangulation, blame-shifting, projection and such like on an industrial scale. Either the Mid-Ranger will sit in sulking silence or slink away, with the Lesser continuing to goad. If this provoking behaviour does not yield results then the Lesser sister will turn to the other members of the family for the fuel that ought to have been provided by the Mid-Range sister.

Where the two narcissists are friends, an interesting dynamic will occur. The Lesser will see the more successful Mid-Ranger as not only a fuel source but also someone who can provide residual benefits and character traits. Thus, the Lesser will be keen to seduce the Mid-Ranger as an inner circle friend.

The Mid-Ranger will see the aggression of the Lesser as useful in terms of securing this person as a Lieutenant and will aim to seduce the Lesser to become an inner circle friend who is then used for the purposes of carrying out the dirty work of the Mid-Ranger.

The Lesser, once having seduced the Mid-Ranger will look to use the passive Mid-Ranger for the purposes of borrowing money, being available when nobody else might be to go out and generally extort the Mid-Ranger’s assets. The Mid-Ranger will comply initially as part of his or her own seduction of the Lesser. It is when then Mid-Ranger expects to “cash in” on their generosity that the problems begin. The Mid-Ranger will seek to manipulate the Lesser to do things for him or her. The Lesser may do so at first but after a while, his sense of entitlement means that he expects to be given things by the Mid-Ranger and need not do anything in return. He will reject this attempt at control and do so in a manner which will give the Mid-Ranger fuel. The Mid-Ranger, pushed by his own sense of entitlement expects the Lesser to carry out his wishes, based on past favours and will react in a feigned hurtful manner to the Lesser lashing out. With both expecting the other to do something based on either entitlement and/or past investment and not gaining the required response, there will be a clash. The Lesser will demand and the Mid-Range will back off. The likely withdrawal of the Mid-Range will cause the Lesser to break off in a fury and cause a temporary cessation of the connection as he seeks out other “friends” to give him what he is entitled to, non-narcissistic ones. The Mid-Ranger, hurt by this betrayal of friendship will retreat and bemoan the selfishness of the Lesser to anybody who will listen.

They will however not discard one another because they perceive a useful need in one another. The Lesser sees the more successful Mid-Ranger as a provider of bounty, bounty to which he is entitled. The Mid-Ranger sees the Lesser as a useful blunt instrument Lieutenant, one to which he is entitled. Unfortunately for them, their sense of entitlement will lead to them clashing, not bothering with one another after a flare-up and then seeking one another out again drawn by the lure of usefulness to one another. Of course there is fuel to be gathered into the bargain but it is not as extensive as when dealing with an empathic individual and therefore it is actually the residual benefits and character traits that are the main draw between the Lesser and the Mid-Range in a social setting.

Third parties will be dragged into their fallings out. The Lesser will name call the Mid-Range and attack verbally any other party who stands up for the Mid-Ranger. The Mid-Ranger will play the hard done to party to anybody who will listen and will manipulate them into trying to build a bridge again with the annoyed Lesser.

What about the situation where a Lesser and a Mid-Range Narcissist are drawn together through work.? Again, this is an non-intimate scenario where there is a pre-existing connection between the two narcissists. Similar to the social setting described above,  the two narcissists will be looking to the other for fuel but moreover the sequestration of residual benefits. The Lesser will expect the Mid-Ranger to be doing him favours, such as lessening his workload, supporting him for promotion or a pay rise, doling out favourable work and such like since the Mid-Ranger is likely to hold a slightly superior position. The Mid-Ranger will expect to lord it over the Lesser and have him or her at the Mid-Ranger’s beck and call. Thus the Lesser will regard any failure of the Mid-Ranger to show him or her favouritism as a criticism. The Lesser’s fury will be ignited and unable to keep it under control, he will lash out at the Mid-Ranger (and others) causing disruption and potentially disciplinary action as the “hurt” Mid-Ranger goes running to HR.

If the Lesser holds the superior role in the workplace, then he will expect the Mid-Ranger to be his lackey. He will delegate considerable amounts of work to the Mid-Ranger who will consider himself being picked on and singled out. He will not dare to complain direct to the Lesser but instead will gossip to peers, complain to a different boss and potentially raise matter via a grievance. The Lesser demands subservience from the Mid-Range narcissist as part of this ideal of control and omnipotence. The Mid-Ranger, considering himself above menial activity and accountable believes he is entitled to highlight the “mean and unfair” behaviour of the Lesser Narcissist. The two will continue to churn out fuel for one another with the Lesser’s scathing attacks against the Mid-Ranger for daring to defy him and with the Mid-Ranger responding by pleading with the Lesser to leave him alone, or asking why he is insists on making his life a misery. The two of them will certainly provide something a show to other employees whilst causing consternation to those who have to work alongside them or regulate their behaviours. They will effectively fight with one another, blaming and counter-blaming neither ever being at fault and it always being the fault of the other.

In terms of tertiary source reaction, a Mid-Ranger is mainly likely to be pleasant to a Lesser tertiary source and provide positive fuel which the Lesser will accept. A Lesser however is more likely to be aggressive towards a Mid-Ranger or offend their readily offended sense of importance by pointing out that the Mid-Ranger tertiary source has done something wrong which will result in the imposition of the withdrawal of services which will in turn cause a sudden explosion from the Lesser. Any interaction will be short-lived and will either be the provision of positive fuel (Mid-Ranger to Lesser) or a burst of negative fuel (Lesser to Mid-Ranger).

Finally, what is the dynamic between a Lesser Narcissist and a Mid-Range Narcissist in the context of a romantic relationship? The Lesser, being the least cognitive able, may well seek to seduce a Mid-Range Narcissist. The Mid-Range will evidence some charm towards the Lesser which will certainly appeal to the Lesser who will press the seduction in order to try and secure the Mid-Range. The Mid-Range however is likely to regard the Lesser as not fulfilling the requisite empathic traits. Whilst the Mid-Ranger is not aware of specifically what he or she wants, he does have an instinctive awareness of the traits in a prospective romantic partner which make him feel “better”. These will be absent in the Lesser because not only are the empathic traits absent, the Lesser lacks the cunning and guile (and the energy and inclination) to feign them to the degree which would satisfy the Mid-Ranger.

Thus, unless the Mid-Ranger is desperate for a primary source he or she is unlikely to complete the seduction of a Lesser as a IPPS. They will look elsewhere and reject the overtures of the Lesser deeming them to not “tick the right boxes”. The Lesser will not try to press the seduction since this rejection by the Mid-Ranger will cause his fury to ignite as a consequence of this low control threshold. He will lash out at the Mid-Ranger and be forced to find a different primary source instead rather than selecting another narcissist. Thus in most cases the Lesser will flare up as his seduction is derailed and the Mid-Range will train his or her sights elsewhere.

Even if the Lesser is in desperate straits to secure a primary source, he will not be able to ensnare the Mid-Ranger who will find his or her own needs unmet. However, if the Mid-Ranger is the party which is desperate to find a primary source, they may settle for the Lesser in such circumstances. Of course, the Lesser will be content for this to happen, the increased level of charm and complimentary behaviour of the Mid-Ranger satisfying, at least to begin with, the Lesser’s need for fuel. There are also likely to be character traits and residual benefits which will suit the needs of the Lesser. Thus, if the Lesser is the desperate party, but the Mid Ranger is not, then the Lesser will be denied. If the Mid-Ranger is the desperate party and the Lesser is or is not, then it is more likely that the two will form a romantic couple securing the other as the IPPS.

In this scenario, the absence of sufficient positive fuel provision will soon surface. The Bronze Period behaviour of the Lesser will not suit the Mid-Range at all for his fuel needs. The selfishness and self-centredness of the Mid-Ranger will not suit the Lesser and therefore devaluation will soon follow after seduction. However, this is where an interesting dynamic will occur because it is actually in devaluation that the pair will meet one another’s needs for far longer than they did in seduction.

The Lesser, disappointed and indeed infuriated with the Mid-Ranger’s poor positive fuel provision will commence the devaluation. Being on the attack, her angry words, her fury, her nastiness will all be excellent fuel to the Mid-Ranger. He of course will not welcome the challenges made to him by the pointing finger of the Lesser but he cannot resist the tasty fuel which accompanies it. He will lap up the fuel provided by her whilst responding with his own manipulations to keep the fuel flowing. He will blame-shift, deny and deflect and refuse to co-operate. He will roll out the pity plays, beg with the Lesser to stop the hurtful behaviour and so forth, all of which will be excellent fuel to the Lesser, so she will continue with the machinations. Back and forth they will go, cat playing with mouse, mouse evading cat in a scenario which causes them to provide sufficient negative fuel to one another. The Mid-Ranger will turn to the third parties, as is his want, pointing out the horrible behaviour of the Lesser. Such actions will be perceived as criticism by the Lesser and she will respond by further nasty behaviours and also seeking out a new primary source since devaluation is well on foot. Should the Lesser locate this potential new primary source, news of her behaviour will reach the Mid Ranger (either from third parties or from the less than subtle Lesser herself) and this will wound the Mid-Ranger. He will flounce off in a silent treatment and look to find his own replacement primary source. The Lesser will not respond to the silent treatment but instead focus on the new primary source. The Mid-Range seeing that the silent treatment has had no effect will establish contact again with the Lesser. This appeals to the Lesser as she believes she has the upper hand again, although the Mid-Ranger will believe that he has because he has caused the Lesser to engage again. Thus, they are brought together again for a brief Respite Period. Of course, neither will provide sufficient positive fuel during this Respite Period and therefore the devaluation begins again.

The death knell for the intimate relationship between the Lesser and Mid-Range narcissist is when they both commence their search for a new primary source and find a suitable prospect. Up until that point, the negative fuel provided through devaluation is maintaining their required fuel levels because of the contrast (something as you know which always required by our kind) between their respective styles. The aggressive Lesser and the passive aggressive Mid-Ranger. Thus their devaluation can go on for some time but once one or both of these narcissists turns their attention to a new primary source then the end of the relationship will arrive promptly. Either one or both will ensnare a non-narcissist and the fuel provision from this individual (as an empathic individual) will cause the narcissist to focus on that person and discard either the Lesser or the Mid-Range narcissist they have erroneously installed as a primary source.

Getting Smeared and How To Deal With It

getting-smeared

 

The smear campaign is a regular weapon in our arsenal. Deployed in order to maintain our façade and ensure that everybody thinks that you are the abuser, you are the trouble maker and that you are the Crazy One. A method of getting our retaliation in first. The smear campaigns are such that you have no idea they are being carried out until the damage is done. You may find out through a third party tipping you off about what is being said about you. You may find out because we have instructed a lieutenant to tip you off in order to allow us to draw fuel from your horrified reaction and frantic attempts to repair the damage. Naturally, we only allow the tip off to take place once we are satisfied that our smears have sunk in and taken effect. The first you may know about these smear campaigns is when you try to tell other people about our behaviour, either during the relationship or when you have sought to escape or have been discarded. You find that you are met with shaking heads, blank looks and declarations of disbelief as your protestations are regarded with scepticism and whispered comments about you having lost the plot. To come up against this wall, especially when you are often in the greatest need,  is distressing. This distress is magnified when it occurs with people you thought that you could rely on. Our poison seeps everywhere.

The smear campaign is almost always used at some point when you have become entangled with our kind. There are many different kinds, but here are six which are regularly used.

  1. The Abuser

We like to trot out tales about how cruel and unpleasant you have been to us. Whether it is preventing us from seeing our friends, not letting us have our say, making decisions for us, hitting us, failing to attend to household chores whilst we are out working to support the household, not showing us any affection, questioning us about our movements, calling us names and so on, it will be used against you. Much of the smear campaign is based on projection as we tell everybody that you have been doing the very things that we have been doing. That way we can provide sufficient detail about the form of abuse, because we have done it ourselves, so that it is given the mantle of believability. If we furnish such detail and avoid vagueness, our lies are made all the more believable. All types of smear campaign operate on the basis of making you out to be abusive in some way. Some are specific, as you will see below, whereas this form of smear campaign is predicated on an avalanche of plausible behaviours which cover a vast spectrum of abusive actions towards us from locking us out of our own home at night because we went out with friends to tipping freezing cold water over us when sat in the bath and pretending it was a joke, from making us sleep on the floor to hiding our car keys when we needed to be somewhere. A long list of awful abuses will be detailed along with how much of a martyr we have been in trying to put up with them and make things better.

  1. The Philanderer/The Slut

 

We play the card that we are not given any affection, love or sexual gratification by the abuser but more than that you are busy engaging in frequent affairs and one night stands with other people. We have given you chances after discovering what you have been doing, because we want to get things back on track. We have given you everything and this is how we are repaid. We are heart-broken by these repeated infidelities. We will identify people of the opposite sex that you are close to and pedal lies that “there is something going on” between you and them. Those people we know who enjoy some tittle tattle will be approached first in order to give the lies some “legs” so that they will not only believe what they have been told about you and the neighbour, you and your colleague and you and the gardener, but they will spread the smear even further. Add in some casual sexual encounters we have learned about, linked to the fact you work away/work in a bar/ are friendly and out-going then the lies gain more traction.

  1. The Spender

We work hard each day to provide for you and all you do is sit around ordering things off the internet, going out to lunch, organising another home improvement and frittering away our hard-earned money. We make out that you are squandering the fruits of our labour by pointing to the recent purchase of some expensive shoes, conveniently leaving out that this is the first pair you have bought in two years and you saved up for them. The joint credit card which bears the hammering of our profligate spending will be attributed to you. Words such as fraud, leech and gold digger will be bandied around as we make you out to be a free loader who has taken considerable advantage of our hard-working nature and generosity.

  1. The Lunatic

This smear campaign will involve heart-felt explanations to medical professionals about your behaviour in order to have them say that there could be something wrong but they would need to undertake a proper diagnosis. We will take from this informal consultation the part we want to hear and then spread this around to other people.

“Yes I was concerned about her behaviour and because I care, I mentioned it to Dr Whitecoat and he told me that it would appear that she has a mental health issue. I know, it is terrible but it explains so much of her erratic behaviour. The thing is, I don’t know if she will allow herself to be treated. Of course she will insist that there is nothing wrong with her, but apparently that is what these people do, they have no insight that there is anything wrong with them.”

Sound familiar at all? We will pick on entirely innocuous behaviours of yours and magnify them so they become regarded as problematic. Idiosyncrasies will be portrayed as aberrations from normal behaviour and of course the more you try to point out that it is us and not you, the crazier you appear.

  1. The Turncoat

In this smear campaign we actually place the focus of your horrible behaviour on not just us but other people as well. We spend our time telling other people the horrible things you have said about them behind their backs. Of course, since we are in a relationship with you, it stands to reason that what we are saying must be true, otherwise why would we make it up about the person we love. We maintain that we are telling the “victim” of your scurrilous comments so they can keep an eye out for it happening again and to be a little wiser in their engagements with you. This will be based on oral recollection, so difficult to prove, but often we will engage a lieutenant in corroborating our lies so that the recipient believes us and is too busy basking in their own indignant and annoyed reaction to test the veracity of what they are being told.

  1. The Addict

You have a serious problem and the time has come to tell other people about it. You enjoy the occasional flutter on the horses. You actually have a huge gambling issue which incorporates the casino, slot machines, betting on line, frequent trips to the bookmakers and even betting on which of two rain drops will trickle down the pane the fastest. You may like a drink now and again and we will turn this into full blown alcoholism, showing off pictures of the empties in the over flowing recycling bin. Those empties are ours or are the product of a weekend party but we are not going to let that get in the way of our smear. You are addicted to sex, watching porn, trying to make us do things in the bedroom that we do not want to do, demanding sex on tap and demeaning us. Your recent weight gain, although nothing significant is used against you as evidence of addiction to food, the money you waste on take away food is really starting to stack up now and the salad section in the fridge only ever stocks cream cakes these days.

How might you deal with these smear campaigns and wipe them clean from your reputation? You are never in a position to stop them before they begin because you will not know about them until they are at least up and running and unfortunately to you heartfelt and emotional protestations just work against you, give us fuel and encourage us to up the pressure against you.

  1. Avoid reacting to them in an emotional fashion. This starves us of fuel and may cause us to drop the campaign because it is no longer having the desired effect. Some damage has been done from it already, but you will limit that damage.
  2. Consider carefully who you feel the need to disavow of our lies. If you need support in the context of your escape, save your energies for addressing the lies with those that matter in terms of providing you with support. You may lose some friends, but were they really good friends to have if they were taken in by the smear campaign?
  3. Use any independent evidence you may have to show to people – documents, video recordings, independent witnesses and just provide this to the relevant recipient of the smear campaign for them to make up their own mind. State your side of the story, refer to the evidence and let them make their own mind up. People don’t like to be told what to do. By allowing them to reach their own conclusion as to who is telling the truth you are more likely to gain an ally again and one who will also expound your truth to others on your behalf.
  4. If people approach you concerning the lies and want to discuss it with you, more out of a desire to engage in salacious gossiping than know the truth, there is no point engaging in a lengthy discussion in order to persuade this person. They are not interested in the truth, only the buzz which comes from having some gossip. Raise your hand as they begin and tell them, “He has told lies and I do not want to hear any more or discuss them.” That will stop it in its tracks. You may also wish to add that the matter is in the hands of lawyers which often causes people to back off as they do not want to become embroiled in legal action.
  5. Don’t engage in a reverse smear campaign by talking about what we have done. This creates fuel from us and because we have got in first, it makes you look like you are only saying this because of what we have said. Concentrate on protecting your own reputation. Don’t be concerned with blackening ours.
  6. Adopting the above points will turn the tide so that we are left with a choice of having to expend more time and energy to maintain the smear campaign in light of your non-fuel provision and calculated approach or more likely we will see it is not working and look to concentrate on someone else rather than you.
  7. If the smear campaign is having adverse effects in terms of your job, your professional standing and interaction with the authorities, engage a lawyer to set the record straight. A well-drafted letter to the relevant decision-maker is often sufficient to address the matter. Don’t engage in sending threatening letters to us (unless the smear campaign is especially bad and having serious repercussions on your life and livelihood) as this provides us with fuel and also provides us with an arena for us to continue the allegations and to look to gain further traction.
  8. Sometimes the most appropriate way is to ignore what is being said and get on with your own life. This demonstrates you have not taken the bait which will infuriate us. You may find it uncomfortable having lies said about you, but if it is having no visible effect on you, we will move on. Third parties are usually too caught up in their own lives to have much regard for such tittle tattle for long.

Smear campaigns are usually rolled out at when you are at your lowest ebb, feeling frazzled and emotional and this is why they become so effective, but you are able to wipe the mud away and move forwards. You can learn how to deal with the smear campaign by reading Smeared which is available in e-book and paperback on Amazon.

The Princess Empath and the Hurt

 

 

the-princess-empath

There once was an Upper Mid Range Narcissist who called himself Prince (not the deceased pop star) but rather because he decided he was a Prince amongst men. He decided it was time to find a Princess. He had plenty of these Princesses before, after all, with his good looks and keen mind, he was something of a catch and it was not difficult for him to ride out to a hunting ground and ensnare a fresh one. He found, however, that after a period of time, he grew tired of their fawning and praise and realised he needed something more, something better, something substantial and long-lasting from his Princesses but since he was not a Greater, he did not quite know what.

Accordingly, he sauntered over to a mirror that he had found which talked back to him. Well, when he says found, he stole it, but then again everything was his to take because after all he was a prince.

“Mirror, mirror I have nicked, tell me who I need who will get royally dicked?”

“Oh hello Conker Bollocks,” yawned the face in the mirror, “You need a Princess Empath matey boy. Since this is a fairy tale I am sure one will come along soon.”

Later that night there was a terrible storm and there came a knocking at the castle door. Somewhat improbably the old King himself went to open the door, although as a Carrier Empath he found himself running around doing all the chores for the royal family, and found a bedraggled young lady.

She was in a terrible state from the rain and the storm. The water streamed out of her hair and her clothes; it ran in at the top of her shoes and out the heesl, but the production of her tiara atop a Salvation Army hat marked her down as clearly an empathic lady of royal distinction.

“Deary me, “ declared the old king, “do come in, do you need shelter?”

“Yes please,” replied the Princess Empath, “I gave up my room at the Sally Army to a homeless unicorn so I have nowhere to stay.”

Just then the Prince Narc appeared and in an instant felt that this bedraggled and soaking lady had significant potential. He sidled up to her and as she stood dripping asked her twenty questions ascertaining her empathic, class and special traits. Fair quivering with excitement, Prince Narc called out to the Queen.

“Oh mama, I have a new friend. Well I say new, we have known each other for ten years and I have been in love with her for 8 of those years, but just never got around to telling her. May she stay over?”

The Queen Narc swept into view.

“Royal chambers are for royalty only,” she said with a sneer.

“Oh I am a Princess, Princess Empath, your majesty,” replied the girl politely as she curtsied.

“Looking like that? I think not.”

The Queen Narc sensed competition for the affections of Prince Narc and did not welcome this intrusion. She however sensed an opportunity for triangulation and potential negative fuel.

“Since you are say you are a Princess and an empathic one at that, then we shall soon if that is true,” declared the Queen Narc.

She flounced away and snapped her fingers for the entourage of seven little men (who were engaged on a Communtiy Payback scheme after certain felonies and crimes in the Forest of Empaths) to trot after her.

“Can she stay mama or not?”

“She may,” declared the Queen Narc, “I shall arrange for the Bitter Suite to be turned down for her.”

The Queen Narc headed to the Bitter Suite, seven little men in tow. She ordered them to remove the bedclothes and then from a box she produced a dark hard stone which seemed to absorb all the light from the gas lights dotted around the room.

“This concentrated hurt will soon determine whether she is indeed a Princess Empath. If she is the delicate and sensitive empath she claims to be, then she will feel this hurt through anything,” muttered the Narc Queen to herself.

She placed the hurt on the bed and then snapped at the seven little men to haul twenty mattresses on top of it. She then commanded them to place twenty feather beds on top of the mattresses. Once done a ladder was placed besides the gargantuan bed just as the Princess Empath arrived.

“You should sleep well with that degree of comfort,” said the Queen Narc as she swept away followed by the seven little men.

Cold and tired, the Princess Empath began to ascend the ladder to bed…..

The next morning the Princess Empath arrived at the royal dining room to find the Prince Narc and Queen Narc dining on hard cheese and sour grapes served by the seven little men. The Queen Narc had let the Prince Narc in on her scheme as she saw great benefits to ensnaring the Princess Empath through her son and engaging in rampant triangulation thereafter.

“Good morning,” said the Princess Empath brightly. The two narcs eyed her suspiciously.

“How did you sleep?” asked the Prince Narc barely able to contain his excitement.

“Oh terribly,” sighed the Princess Empath.

The Prince grinned.

“I have hardly closed my eyes the whole night. Heaven knows what was in the bed. I seemed to be lying upon some hard thing and my body is black and blue this morning. It is terrible,” continued the Princess Empath.

“Nobody but a real Princess Empath would have such an ability to feel the hurt in such a way,” said the Queen Narc as her forked tongue brushed over her sharp teeth.

“Indeed I am a Princess Empath, Princess Sue Per Empath actually. Oh I felt the hurt alright, but that wasn’t what kept me awake!” said the Princess Empath suddenly.

“What?” said the Prince Narc.

“No, it was this!” cried the Princess Empath and from behind her back she produced a large gold strap on with the words “Prince’s BIG Helper” emblazoned along it.

“Er oh er mama!” muttered the Prince as his eyes fell on the weapon of anal intrusion.

“It had been left in the bed. Looks like you will be needing this to sort out Little Prince Pissy Knickers here,” smiled Princess as she lobbed the strap on towards the fuming Queen Narc and turned on her heel.

“Mama!” wailed Prince Narc as the shame of the discovery threatened his construct and he fell to the floor curled into a ball.

“I’m not your mother,” hissed Queen Narc as she stormed from the dining room leaving the bewildered seven little men behind.

“Does this mean we can go back to Snow White now?” asked one.

“I don’t know but I am going to hang with his Princess Empath for a while, she is kick ass,” answered the other and trotted after the departing Princess Empath.

And so some people lived happily ever after.the-princess-empath