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The Devil’s Toolkit

Learn what is used against you so it never happens again

US   http://www.amazon.com/Devils-Toolkit-H-G-Tudor-ebook/dp/B01AS2D2KO

UK  http://www.amazon.co.uk/Devils-Toolkit-H-G-Tudor-ebook/dp/B01AS2D2KO

CAN  http://www.amazon.ca/Devils-Toolkit-H-G-Tudor-ebook/dp/B01AS2D2KO

AUS  http://www.amazon.com.au/Devils-Toolkit-H-G-Tudor-ebook/dp/B01AS2D2KO

DEU  http://www.amazon.de/Devils-Toolkit-English-H-Tudor-ebook/dp/B01AS2D2KO

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Narc Club

Narc Club is a special club with an exclusive membership. It is so exclusive that many of its members do not even know they are members but they are. There is no admissions’ committee. Nobody sits in a semi-lit room, cigar smoke wafting through the air as black or white balls are placed in a velvet sack to decide whether someone should be admitted. There are no proposers, no seconders and there is no vote taken. Admission is very straight forward. You are either in or you are not. It is a life membership and no interlopers ever infiltrate this club.

The lesser members of this club, although special in their own way, are unlikely to know they belong. They are also unlikely to recognise other club members and they will proceed through life oblivious but still contributing to the club’s infamy. The more astute and greater members do know they are a member of this special club. They revel in their belonging to this elite. Numbers are very healthy and continue to grow with the club’s reach wrapping around the world. It is international in nature and is devoid of discrimination or prejudice. No matter what your gender is, your race or religion (or absence of the latter), your politics, your wealth, your status or your sexual preference, we draw our members from a wide array of different people. This is no bastion of white, male, middle-aged privilege. This is not some underground hipster collective or secretive nefarious network. It is open to all so long as they fulfil that one criteria of being a narcissist.

We have no headquarters or clubhouse. Instead we appropriate any building that we choose. There is no subscription fee either. The club is maintained from what non-members provide to us. This provision is massively important to Narc Club. Without it, Narc Club would cease to exist.

Like any club, Narc Club has a number of rules which all members must adhere by. Our rules are special in that a member will obey them even if they are unaware of their membership. As soon as you become a member of Narc Club then you are imbued with compliance to these rules. They are pervasive and govern all aspects of a member’s life. What are those rules? You are most fortunate as I am going to tell you what those rules are. I am not committing any cardinal transgression in making you aware of these rules. Firstly, they are not a secret. Secondly, you probably know a number of them already but it is always satisfying to have it confirmed by a Grand Member of Narc Club. So, here they are.

  1. The first rule of Narc Club. Fuel is the rule.
  2. Everything Voiced Is Lying.
  3. It is never our fault
  4. It is always your fault.
  5. Membership is for life.
  6. A member never changes.
  7. We always engage in Long Involved Explanations.
  8. We really do adore you.
  9. We really do hate you.
  10. We really do adore you again. Repeat rules 8-10 frequently.
  11. We always win.
  12. We are superior.
  13. Everything is ours.
  14. You are there to further our purpose.
  15. The fifteenth rule of Narc Club. Fuel is the rule.
Sounds great doesn’t it? Shame you cannot join.

One Is Not Enough

I will have told you that I only have eyes for you, that you are the one, that I am completely dedicated to you and that I only ever want to be with you. You make me say these things. It is your expectation of such faithfulness to you and you alone, indoctrinated into you by the world, that causes me to have to say these things. I need to fulfil your expectations in order to capture you and then keep you. It is a ridiculous state of affairs. Since when can a person be sustained on one thing alone? It is impossible. At its most basic, you are given only water to drink and nothing to eat. You will starve. Then if you are given just bread to eat your body will be malnourished as it is not getting the nutrients it needs from fruit, vegetables, meat and so on. One food stuff alone is not sufficient. Take your job. If you had to do the same thing over and over again, the absolute same task you will go out of your mind with boredom. Either that or you would lose your job to mechanisation. One thing is not enough.

Have you only ever had one relationship? Unlikely. How else would you know whether this is right if you have nothing to compare it against? Can one man win a football match? Of course not. He needs his team mates. Where does your stimulation come from? Are you confined to reading just one book repeatedly? No. One film seen countless times? No, you like and prefer a variety of silver-screened entertainment. Do you have just one person you interact with on a social level? Again the answer is no. You draw your social nourishment from different friends, family members, acquaintances and so forth. One is not enough.

I am no different. The thing that sustains me is fuel. I must draw this from several sources. Yet, my necessary actions in acquiring this fuel subject me to moral indignation and disapproval. How is that fair? I do not tell you that you must only eat one kind of breakfast cereal for the rest of your life, why should I be expected to gather my fuel from just one appliance? I need the variety. Not only is this necessary to ensure that I have fuel on tap at all times, it is necessary to provide the catalyst for the provision of fuel from my primary appliance. If I have nothing by which I can provoke a reaction from you, your free-flowing fuel will soon dry up.

The result is that you and I are never alone. There is no singularity despite all of my words asserting that this is the case. When I first ensnare you there will be another who is being subjected to my vitriol. You are most likely warned of this psychotic ex. What I am less likely to tell you about is my ongoing campaign of denigration in order to harvest further fuel from this harlot who has let me down. I may even be faithful at first. Yes faithful by your understanding of the concept, namely that I will not physically consort with another. I am not faithful however in just being solely committed to you. I will be reaching out to others in order to bring them into my sphere of influence, most likely whispering the very same things that I have said to you. My lips may not lock with these new opportunities but that is more by accident than design. I have certainly locked with them in order to draw fuel from them. As I walk through the day those invisible fuel lines reach out and attach to most who I interact with.I am sure, judged by your standards, you would not be overly concerned about the methods by which I draw fuel from some. In other instances you would be most concerned. Yet, you must understand that I am only doing what everyone does. I am seeking variety. In your instance you do it because you prefer it that way. It is interesting. Maintaining a variance keeps things fresh and stimulating. In my case I have to do it. There may not yet be any lipstick on my collar but there are scores of fuel lines attached and in ways that you are always going to find distasteful. That is of course if you ever find out.

The Battle of Going Out Part II

The arena of socialising is so very important to my kind. On the one hand this environment is a happy hunting ground for the acquisition of fresh targets for the purpose of administering my malicious machinations. The social environment also provides me with ranks of appliance from which I can draw fuel and also to involve in my schemes and triangulations to draw fuel from you. The issue of going out also presents me with opportunities to reinforce who is in charge in this relationship. It allows me to undermine you, disappoint you and control you and invariably, as with everything that I do, fuel will flow.

A typical instance of this occurring might involve one of our kind receiving a call from you during the course of the afternoon.

“Hi, how are you?” you ask pleasantly.

“Busy, busy what is it?”

“I am just reminding you that I am going out tonight, okay?”

“And?”

“Well I did not want you forgetting like you did last time.”

“I did not forget, you just didn’t tell me about it.”

“Well look I am not getting into all of that now, that was last time. I just wanted to make sure that you will be home by 6pm as I need to be there by 7pm and I need you to look after the kids whilst I get ready.”

“Can’t your mother look after them or something?”

“No they are out and anyway, Michael is not well. He has been off school all day and I don’t want a casual childminder looking after him, I want it to be you or me.”

“Well if he is that ill perhaps you should cancel your plans?”

“No. I am not going to. I do not have to because you are available to watch him. In any event, even if I wanted to cancel I cannot. I can’t let my friends down, this is an important occasion.”

“Are you sure there isn’t somebody who can look after Michael, I wanted to go to the bar this evening, we have completed a major deal here.”

“No. My sister is out of town and the only other people are neighbours and registered childminders and it is not fair asking non-family when one of the kids is ill. I don’t like it. It has to be mum or dad looking after them.”

“Okay, okay I get it, it has to be one of us.”

“Yes and it is going to be you because I am going out. Okay?”

“Sure, fine 6pm you say?”

“Yes.”

“Right.”

6pm arrives and I am sat in the bar explaining how I brought the deal to the business and I saw it through. Several junior colleagues are listening intently seeking to curry favour with me. I am sat on my throne, my subjects paying homage. I glance at my watch and order champagne to toast the deal. The evening is just getting started and I have my eye on a pretty accountant who I have not seen before.

I feel my ‘phone vibrate and pull it from my jacket pocket. Your name is on the display. I smile and let it slip back into the pocket as I pay for the champagne and begin pouring it for those assembled with me. I feel the ‘phone ring again and stop. I continue my conversation and feel a succession of vibrations as a few messages land. During a lull between my anecdotes I wander over to the toilet and whilst there I check my phone. There are three messages from you.

“Hi, I hope you are on your way. Call me please xxx”

“Where are you? I am trying to get ready.”

“This is totally unfair. Where the hell are you?”

The fuel hits and power surges through me as I feel the frustration from those messages and picture you pacing through the house trying to get ready as you are subjected to the demands from the children. I do not turn my phone off, I am ready for further vibrations and messages as I look in the mirror, smooth my hair and give myself a winning smile.

“Think you can tell me to be a childminder do you?” I ask the mirror.

“Nobody stops me from going out.”

I return to the bar and grab my champagne flute as my phone goes again. I do not even bother to look to see who is calling as I know and the power rises inside. As I begin to talk to the pretty accountant I savour the fuel that will be coming my way. The looks and words of admiration from the beautiful bean counter all the while my mobile ‘phone buzzes and vibrates away like a trapped wasp, conveying to me your anger and annoyance at being kept at home. I know, empathic person that you are, that you will not put an evening out ahead of your ill child and once again you will martyr yourself. I know from our earlier conversation that there is no prospect of you calling someone else in as a child minder and you will be left at home alternating between crying and calling me all the names under the sun. Knowing that I have been able to do what I want whilst keeping you at home underlines my dominance and affirms why I am the superior one. Your repeated messages and telephone calls just feed me more fuel as once again I win this battle. I sometimes wonder why you even bother but I am glad you do, after all, I need the fuel from your reaction to my control.

Embracing Evil

“I’ve been reading on narcissism for 4.7 years. It’s been a brutal search for info and anything I can get my hands on to understand. If you’ve been confused and worn down long enough you get what I’m saying immediately. All the literature, counselling, education I’ve obtained has all been worth it, but nothing, and I mean nothing explains it better than HG TUDOR’S books. It is valuable, valuable precious insight to hear it from a man who lives this life. No other literature I’ve ever read has done this. It’s exactly what I needed to read.”

Embrace Evil and begin your understanding and recovery.

US  http://www.amazon.com/Evil-H-G-Tudor-ebook/product-reviews/B01496BIXS

UK http://www.amazon.co.uk/Evil-H-G-Tudor-ebook/dp/B01496BIXS

AUS http://www.amazon.com.au/gp/product/B01496BIXS

CAN  http://www.amazon.ca/Evil-H-G-Tudor-ebook/dp/B01496BIXS

Money,Money,Money

Money is one of the most obvious ways in which one can demonstrate one’s power. Money provides options, it reveals opportunities and provides chances where none might have existed previously. Money equates to power and power equates to money. We have a healthy attitude to the question of money. What we create is ours. Yours is ours also. I have written previously how the successful of our kind exhibit our success and our power through the accumulation of money. It may be the creation of a successful business, the climbing of the corporate ladder into well-paid positions of responsibility and it might be the production of items and services that others require. There are of course those of our kind who have not grasped the concept that there is an unique opportunity afforded by the way that we are to be successful and in turn earn substantial amounts of money. Those of our kin who have not harnessed our special attributes in that manner are quite frankly a disappointment and they shall forever remain lesser narcs. Yes they are narcs but quite frankly they are not in my league or that of my high-achieving counterparts. I must admit to having nothing but contempt for those our kind who have failed to apply our abilities in this manner. They are letting the side down. That, however, is a topic for another day. What our less able kind and those of us who have embraced success do have in common is the unfailing ability to drain you of your financial health.

How does this manifest? Perhaps some of the following will be familiar to you?

  • Never paying for drinks and meals when out together
  • Never contributing to joint expenses and then spending a small fortune on something for ourselves
  • Borrowing money repeatedly with a convincing tale of woe attached. The money is never re-paid.
  • Taking out loans in your name which you only find about some time later when they are in default
  • Learning the house has been mortgaged to the hilt and the advanced funds have been frittered away
  • Expensive addictions to drink, drugs, prostitutes and/or gambling which we expect you to bail us out of
  • Straight forward theft
  • Failing to honour maintenance and child support arrangements
  • Selling your possessions
Why does this happen? Sometimes it is about instant gratification. We want something and we want it immediately. We have always been used to getting our own way so why should it be any different when it comes to the question of money? We do not recognise any boundary that says we should not have your money. It is in play and up for grabs. We want something and you can pay for it. This of course reinforces our control over you by seizing your finances and goods we have you beholden to what we want to do. We show that we are in control and of course we anticipate horror, howls or protest and anger when you learn of our activity. All of which is good fuel. There is also an element of retribution. We may have been denied something and this in turn offends our sense of entitlement. We feel criticised and we want to get rid of that sensation. One method is to assert our power by taking what belongs to you and using it to our benefit. Sometimes we do this an expend your financial resource in a totally excessive fashion which just wastes the money. To us however there is no waste in such a step. It underlines our importance, it affirms our power and it keeps you under out control.
The scale by which our kind engages in this sequestration of the money and assets of others can vary hugely in scale, even when perpetrated by the same person. In that vein I am reminded of the late Robert Maxwell. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the name, Maxwell was a Czech born media mogul who operated a publishing empire in the United Kingdom. He fell off his yacht in 1991 and drowned. There is little doubt that he was one of our kind – plenty has been written about the man and his behaviours which confirms that. Maxwell plundered the company pension scheme stealing hundreds of millions of pounds from the pensions of the employees leaving thousands of people in financial difficulty. There was the misappropriation of the money of others on a massive scale. Maxwell was also found on Christmas morning by his wife and children surrounded by torn wrapping paper. He had wanted to know what had been bought for the children. Rather than ask his wife, he went ahead and opened all the wrapped gifts. He did not take the gifts but he certainly trampled over a boundary and appropriated the surprise that was meant for his children. Nobody is beyond our sense of entitlement when it comes to money or assets.

What’s Your Emergency?

Two different voicemail messages.

Message One.

“Hi it’s me,  I am not able to come over tonight. I am not feeling too good. I know you were cooking dinner as well and I am sure it will be very good but I really am not well. I had hoped I would have caught you as I should imagine that you are preparing the food about now. Maybe you have been really organised and you are in the shower instead. Anyway I know it is late but there it is I did not plan to fall ill. I know you will be disappointed as you told me how much you were looking forward to spending some time together and how you wanted to make a special meal. I had even gone and bought that wine you said that would go so well with the meal. I just about managed to struggle through work. I had to really because I had to ensure that we hit the month’s targets so I battled on. We hit the targets by the way so at least some good has come of it but I have probably pushed myself too much and this is the consequence. I have had a lie down but it did not really help. I had too much in my mind and my ‘phone kept beeping. I thought it might have been you checking to see how I was so I kept looking at it but it wasn’t. Anyway, I am sure you can save the food or something. Call me when you get this message.”

Message Two

“It’s me I need you. You have to come quick. Something terrible has happened to me and only you can help me. I did not know what to do so I thought I would call you. I thought you would answer but you must be doing something else more important. Where are you by the way? You are usually in the house at this time. You need to get  to me as soon as you get this message. It is a major emergency and I need you. I need you right away and you are the only one who can help me, nobody else can. I tried your house phone but there was no answer and they said you left work an hour ago so where on earth are you? Incidentally, you need to have a word with your secretary she was not very helpful. I asked where you were and all she would say was that you had left an hour ago. She did not say where you were going or anything. She is rather rude. You should keep that in mind for her next appraisal. Please call me back the instant you get this message. It is so important I get to see you. I need your help. It is massively important. I will try again in a few minutes in case your voicemail is faulty, call me, please, call me, I need you.”

Two different calls but who made them?

Always on the Fake

Fakery, fabrication and lies are the bricks and mortar of our existence. They are the bread and butter that enable us to have sustenance. I know that when you look back at the golden period you always struggle to understand that it was not real. You cannot fathom out how something that felt so right, so true and so real could actually be something so false. Our behaviour seemed so genuine. Our declarations of undying love so moving and emotive, how could this be a façade? Yes you thought occasionally that we were a little over the top but you found that endearing. The reason it seemed so genuine is because our performance was so convincing. This performance was of such a high calibre owing to two things. The first because we have practised repeatedly and we possess experienced ease at mimicking the behaviour of others. We have done it so often and to so many people we do it without thinking. And there is the neat segue into the second reason. We do it without thinking because we believe it to be absolutely the right thing to do. We are not concerned that we are exhibiting a false front to you. We are not troubled by the fact that all our smiles, kisses and pleasantries are manufactured. Not only are we not burdened by this because we are not designed to be burdened by such concerns it also because we have the complete and utter conviction that behaving in this manner is the right thing to do. We need to seduce you. We need to ensnare you and what better way to do so than by this campaign of love and desire? Where is the harm in that? We get you where we want you, we receive dollops of delicious fuel and you feel loved, wanted and placed on a throne at the top of a pedestal. It is a win- win surely?

Does it really matter that your bag is a fake Louis Vuitton? It holds objects, feels the same and looks the same, so where it the problem? That Blu-ray disc is not a genuine licensed film but you can still watch it all the same with next to no deterioration in viewing pleasure, so again, what is the issue? Our fakery works for you and it works for us.

Our façade to the world of being charming, reliable and wonderful despite that particular mask being removed behind closed doors again is just a necessary device. How does it matter than friends and family are conned? They like me, they admire me and they believe me so where again is the harm in that? Yes, they may not believe what you have to say about me based on my façade but that is your fault. If you had kept up the flow of fuel this would not have to happen. Everyone else out there is in blissful ignorance and you want to change that. You want them to see what you claim is the real me. Why? All you will do is upset and alarm them. Is it not better that they remain shrouded in the illusion, content and unaware,rather than be subjected to the concern and worry that you seem intent on burdening them with? Why must you project your problems on to other people?

Even when I denigrate and berate you this too is merely manufactured. I do not really mean those horrible things that I say and do. I just do them because I have to. I have to keep you in your place, under my control and spewing out that negative fuel that I crave so much. If you had kept up the supply of decent quality fuel I would not have to say these things to you to provoke a reaction. I only do it because I must, I do not mean any of it. Even when you ignite my fury my hateful words and spiteful comments through this explosive fury is only based on a necessity to protect myself from your awful criticism of me. I do not mean it, it just has to happen. Do you understand now why it is not my fault? There is no real intent behind what I say and do, they are just merely actions which serve a purpose to ensure I get the fuel that I need.

From my seduction, through to my façade to everyone else and even my devaluing of you, it is all based on a fabrication. A necessary set of illusions required to preserve my existence. No matter who I deal with, who I interact with or who comes within my sphere of influence, I roll out the lies, the untruths and the perfidy. Everything I say or do is manufactured but I have an utter conviction in the necessity of this manufactured process so that this, couple with an absence of conscience or remorse enables me to churn out the lies and illusions like a factory production line.

I am always on the fake. And that’s the truth.