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Born to be Riled

You were predestined to meet me or one of my kind. It was written in the stars and was as likely to happen as the sun rising tomorrow morning. You see, you grew and developed as a healthy and normal person. One of the first gifts that you received was a moral compass and you have always found it to work. You were guided by a decent role model, one that showed you the value of compassion, caring and consideration. You have always prided yourself on being able to step into the shoes of others, see someone else’s point of view or imagine what it must be like to be in that other person’s position. It is natural for you to take an interest in the person you are talking with, to listen and engage with them. You are a shoulder to cry on, a pillar of support and a rock to others. Others turn to you in their hour of need. You are patient, tender and take great pleasure in helping other people. You might have made a career of it, becoming a doctor or nurse, an aid worker, a social worker, a counsellor or a charity employee. You have been shown the way by others and with your measured view of the world, developed a strong sense of what is right and what is wrong.

You believe in love. Love conquers all. All you need is love. Love changes everything. You believe that we should all show love to one another and in return we will be loved. That is all that you ask for, to be loved.

When you appear on our radar you shine brighter than everything else around you. The empathic radiance that emanates from you is a blazing beacon of benevolence. Our displays flash and light up, alerting us to your presence as the needles and gauges go off the scale. A massive fanker full of fuel has just cruised into view and we are duty bound to hijack it. We follow the path that is all too familiar to you now, of seducing you and dazzling you. You switch off your engines and weigh the anchor, content to dock with us. We have pulled alongside you and scramble over our bow to overwhelm you. It does not take long before we have burst onto the bridge, overpowered your captain and taken control of this tanker full to the brim of fuel. This hijacking is without violence or resistance, in fact your captain is not so much overpowered but rather he readily relinquishes control of the bridge to us, happy to place his trust in us. We have established our credentials through our repeated charm offensive. There can be no doubt that we have passed our mariner’s examinations and that we are fully qualified to control this tanker.

Yet this peaceful conquest does not satisfy us. There is no excitement or drama in achieving it so easily. Yes, at first we were content for this state of affairs to be the case. It was easy and pleasant and interesting for we had not been on this vessel before and its cargo, the ever so precious fuel was an unknown variety. Now we have been siphoning off the fuel for quite some time and we need to add a new ingredient to it to increase its potency as we maintain control of this vessel. We want to stir things up in the holds by charting a course through stormy waters. We might purposefully spring a leak, cut away the lifeboats and fire off the flares, before jamming the wheel so the tanker slowly drifts in circles, rolling and yawing through the mountainous waves giving the impression of vast movement but not actually going anywhere.

We have to annoy, provoke, irritate and rile you. This heightens the emotional responses and just like the storm battered tanker, we plough headlong into drama, turmoil and rage. In the same way that you were destined to care and exhibit considerable empathy, you were also damned to be the object of our games and manipulation, all with the aim of provoking you. You were blessed with the skills and traits of an empathic individual, but that blessing came with a price. You were cursed to become a prime target for our kind and to suffer the tortuous examinations of our warped minds that aimed to engender an emotional response from you. This would initially be benign but with that sinking sense of inevitable dread it would become one where you had no choice but to be subjected to manipulation, attack, insult and provocation. Riling you became the key objective. This would not work with those who are not of your stock. They would not be sucked in to begin with, or they would recognise what was happening and walk away and stay away. Not you, your empathic traits force you to try and heal and to fix despite the alarming levels of contemptuous harassment, abuse and demeaning treatment. Your empathy binds you to your tormentor as he or she delights in prodding you each and every day to garner that emotional reaction. You were raised to heal yet destined to be riled and all by our savage tongue and stinging hand.



The bolthole is a very important location to my kind. It can come in many forms but the message it sends to you is very clear; you are not welcome. Our kind must always have a bolthole to which we can retreat. This is our sacred territory where you are not allowed to venture. When we first engage with you, you should notice two things which invariably occur. We will spend most of our time where you live. This enables us to stay by your side as often as we can in order to continue our seduction of you. It also means that your resources are the ones that are used up. It is your food, your cable bill and your utilities that we use and since it is your home we will not contribute to those bills. If asked we will point out that we have our own overheads to cover although of course they will be reduced as we are rarely there. We stay at your house and ensure that you provide us with a set of keys so that we may come and go. You are invariably not given a set for our house. When we decide that we want to engage in our methods of gathering fuel and/or we decide to subject you to a period of the effective silent treatment, we return to our house. You cannot enter and we are able to watch you pleading and begging from through a gap in the curtains as you turn up wanting to see us as you try to work out why we have just disappeared.

On the occasions we do allow you to stay at our property then this is little more than a licence which is revocable on a moment’s notice. If we want you out of our space then we will turf you out, irrespective of time, weather or convenience. We like to do this to reinforce that it is us who are in control in this relationship and not you.

Even if we properly move in together at one property or buy another one together, we shall manipulate the situation so that your house is sold and the proceeds used towards the joint property whilst we keep our house on. You will be puzzled by such a move but we will find an excuse to do this.

“It represents a useful investment opportunity so I am going to keep it.”

“Now is now the right time to sell in that area.”

“I need a pied a terre for when I work late in the city.”

“I want the market to pick up first before I consider selling the property.”

“I don’t want to sell it because my ex-wife will come sniffing around for a share of it.”

We will find the reason not to sell it. This is of course not the real reason. We want to keep it as our bolthole. We might decide to provide you with a set of keys for this property but then when you try to use them to go inside to find us, the door is bolted so you cannot access the property. Your shouts of frustration prove to be delicious fuel as we sit and listen to you.

Some times we will use hotel rooms as boltholes or the office or a bar. As long as it somewhere to which we can retreat and have you guessing as to where we have gone as you frantically telephone and text us, then it serves its purpose.

If there is not another property we will create a bolthole within the house that we share. The study will have a lock fitted and we keep the key on our person all the time. It may be a man-cave in the basement or the garden shed, but there is one simple rule concerning this bolthole. It may be in or around our joint property but you are not to enter it ever. We regard this as our throne room where we sit and plot our schemes. The chosen few will be admitted in order to emphasise to you how you are not special enough to be allowed in and thus prompt a reaction from you. We know it will drive you crazy wondering what we are doing in this place, especially if our guests are of the opposite sex. We will spend hours in this place, secreted away, often sleeping there too. Here we can send our messages and engage in our telephone calls with other sources of fuel, free from interference yet still gaining fuel from you as we know you will be in a spin thinking about what we are doing. We can enter the chat rooms, work our way through the dating sites and blitz social media, all entrenched in our control room. We will delight in sending you a message compelling you to bring us food or a drink and leave it at the door. You of course will comply in order to try and sneak a glimpse of what is going on inside or to try and talk to us, yet the door will be pushed closed in your face.

On occasions the bolt hole will be temporary in nature. Should we decide that we wish to exercise some withdrawal late at night when you are expecting intimacy and love-making, we will move to sleep in the spare room, sliding across the lock we had fitted. We will lie there smiling as we hear you tapping on the door and sobbing for us to come back to the shared bed.

The bolthole is very important to us. It allows us a clear way of reinforcing our control and superiority, it provides a base from which we can engage in our schemes and plotting and it is crucial in the implementation of silent treatment.

If you realise that the person you have a relationship with creates and uses boltholes there is every chance that he or she is one of us. Now you know it to be the case but you are still not coming in.

Your Pledge To Me

You signed the pledge. Your tears of joy fell on it and washed away what I had written there revealing instead what has been carved into the stone underneath. It is your pledge to me.

You promise to supply me with the fuel that I need, be it morning, noon or night. You dedicate yourself to loving, cherishing but above all else admiring me. From the moment you wake until the moment you close your eyes and hopefully seek slumber, you will apply your every thought, word and deed to supplying me with the potent fuel that I require.

You swear that you will be cast adrift from everything that you once held dear. You vow that you will raise no complaint nor seek to remedy your splendid isolation and instead you shall give thanks for the opportunity to be beholden to me.

You will agree with me without condition. You will submit to my will and my word. You will be subjugated and dominated and you will allow this to happen with a great gladness in your heart.

You unconditionally accept the dogma of my thinking and you will without demurring or deferring accept my rules even where there are no rules. You shall speak when I demand it and remain silent otherwise. You agree that you will second-guess, anticipate and ascertain all that I require and you shall do so without assistance, hint or help. You will raise no complaint nor identify any contradiction in the diktats that I shall pronounce, no matter how wildly they alter and vacillate.

You agree to remain trapped in the altered reality that shall be created for you and you shall do nothing to seek your escape from it. You agree you shall polish my hall of mirrors and keep the same free from dust, defect or deterioration.

You shall not better anything that I do, you shall diminish anything that you do in deference to my brilliance. You agree to comply with my every wish, demand and command and in so doing recognise that it is for your own good.

You shall recognise that you over-react, forget, fail to remember, blow out of proportion and engage in crazy aberrations of behaviour and you shall give repeated thanks for the tolerance and forgiveness that I allow you in the face of such blatant and sustained provocation.

You willingly and without complaint, claim or seeking redress agree to forgo your self-esteem, your identity and your sense of self. You volunteer to lay your self-worth, reason and confidence as sacrifices on the altar of my greatness.

You will submit to every whim I express, each desire I create and every demand without regard for its depravation, degradation or denigration.

You will with marvellous enthusiasm praise and worship me and with clarion call declare your awe at my almighty brilliance. You shall not suffer others to denigrate my name and instead you swear to defend my honour and reputation irrespective of logic, reason or hypocrisy.

You agree to be coated in confusion, enshrined in bewilderment and driven to demented frustration. You shall willingly strive with every fibre of your being to pander, soothe and placate me save when I do not require such treatment and expect you to realise without indication or clue.

You will go down on your knees and give thanks for the largesse that I exhibit towards you, that you are granted a daily audience with my scintillating superiority and that you are allowed to breath the air that I breath.

You shall cast off all notion of self, forgo your relationships and  betray your friends and family in order to better dedicate yourself to my greatness. You shall relinquish all interests, hobbies and activities in order to devote your life to me. You shall forgo all assets and chattels, delivering them up for my use, abuse and destruction.

You agree that yes means no, no means yes and yes and no mean whatever I want them to mean. You shall always give thanks for the enlightenment that I shall bring to you and do nothing to evade, dilute, diffuse or ameliorate my greatness.

You agree to become my appliance and an extension of my greater glory. You understand that you have only one role and that is to supply me with my precious fuel. You will not diminish nor interrupt this supply on pain of most terrible retribution.

You swear on pain of damnation that you shall never ignore me, never show indifference towards me and never to fail to react to everything that I say and do.

You will sacrifice everything that you hold dear in recognition of the god that I am and you shall do so whilst smiling despite the trauma you will suffer, the abuse you will endure and the horror visited on you each and every day.

You shall say my name with your dying breath and raise no complaint when I forget who you are.

I note you have already signed this pledge. You are learning already.

My Pledge To You

I do sincerely and solemnly declare, by almighty God, this pledge to you. I have reduced  it to writing so that this shall bear testament to the sincerity by which I have made these promises and so that a record may exist for time eternal to the dedication and commitment contained therein.

I will love and cherish you and be faithful to you. I shall not let thoughts of congress with others trespass upon my mind for it remains pure and devoted to you. I will only ever give you my heart and ask that you have a care for it, for I only have the one and it now belongs to you.

I shall strive each and every day to bring you happiness and joy. Through dedicated application to securing your contentment. I will not rest until delight permeates everything around you. I have one purpose and that is to love you with the most perfect love, in every facet of my life.

I will bring you security and solidity, banishing fear and darkness through my unwavering loyalty to you. I shall be that foundation on which we shall build our glorious and everlasting love. I will toil ceaselessly in my endeavours to bring about our togetherness and union.

I will be your angel that spreads his almighty wingspan that shall shield you from harm. No injurious intent or scathing tongue shall ever penetrate the wall that I shall form behind which you will always be assured of shelter.

I promise to make you laugh so that your heart is lifted skywards and no troubles will ever burden you. I will always be there when the forces of darkness seek to hurt you. With my fiery sword I shall smite them into oblivion. Wherever you may tread I will be by your side, ready at a moment’s instance to catch you and hold you should the road crumble beneath your feet.

I will never be found wanting when fate conspires against you. You will always be able to look to me and in my eyes find reassurance, hope and optimism. No task shall be too great if at its conclusion your happiness is assured.

I promise that though the winds may howl about us, that although lightning strikes at us and iced rain is driven at us, I will wrap my arms about you and steer you to shelter. I promise that you will always find sanctuary and protection with me.

I will honour your name and join battle with those that besmirch it. I shall only allow truth to pass my lips in all my dealings with you. I shall treat you with respect, reverence and dutiful worship, in recognition of your inner and outer beauty for which I give daily thanks.

I will craft the finest gifts to lay at your feet, toil so that no fruit is forbidden to you, no luxury shall be denied to you and every wish you make I shall deliver.

I shall treat you with deference, patience and compassion. Only the most noble of intentions shall I ever exhibit unto you. My every thought, word and deed will be forged in the furnace of truth and honesty.

I shall keep as watchwords to my burgeoning heart, the lessons of fidelity, humility and grace. I give thanks now and shall each day for the bounty that comes our way. I shall not let petty distractions deter me from my sworn duty to love and honour you.

I swear that I shall listen with an open mind, speak with a true heart and only have eyes for you. I shall fill each of my days with the wonder of you and dedicate myself to the furtherance of our dreams. Each day I shall give thanks for the fact that we have been brought together and I shall treat our love as the most perfect and sacred. Nothing that I shall think, say or do shall ever desecrate what we have.

I shall nurse you through sickness, hold you through sadness and carry you through adversity. My stride will be purposeful and direct as I strive to bring you joy.

I shall only ever lay my hands in sensual delight on you and with my lips kiss no other the way that I shall kiss you. My passion burns for you and you alone. I shall desire you as greatly in the years that come to pass as I do in this moment. Time and age shall not wither or diminish the love that I have for you. With every day that passes I shall find something new to love you for. We may travel over the same route many times but each time I shall make it seem as if it is the first time.

I promise to imbue our lives with magic and wonder. I shall show you the fantastic and the marvellous. I will take pleasure in sharing the simplest delights with you alongside the most extravagant.

I am yours and that is the only ever state I shall maintain. Though temptation may beckon and seduction seeks to lead me astray, I shall, by the grace of God and the fortitude with which I have been blessed, walk only to you.

When the sun sets on our scintillating journey together, as we look back on all that we have created together, all we have achieved together and all we have loved in one another, it is your name that I shall say with my dying breath.

This is my pledge to you. All I ask is that you sign this written pledge and in so doing acknowledge your acceptance of all that is herein contained.

A Sense of Detachment

The people that know me and interact with me often remark that I always seem attuned to people and my environment. They remark about how I know so much about certain things, that I have clearly experienced a lot and retained the benefit of this experience. My awareness of matters is high and it is often commented on how I am able to “plug in” to something and instantly understand it, know how it works and what to do. Whether it is a meeting, discussion or event, I always fit in. I am not going to disagree with those comments.

Let us imagine that you are a massive football (soccer for our transatlantic cousins) fan. I listen to how you analyse a forthcoming match and discuss the impact of an expensive new signing. I carefully pay attention as you detail how the opposition centre-half is weak on short passes played into the penalty area. I see your eyes widen and light up with interest as you debate these issues with fellow fans. I make a careful note of what is said by you and the others and store it so that I can regurgitate it later to someone else who is similarly interested in football and pass it off as my own knowledge and observations. I do this with conviction so that nobody recognises that these comments are not my own. I spent the morning before the match that we are attending, reading the sport sections of two quality newspapers and also the satellite broadcaster’s webpage for the match, along with other bits and pieces from around the internet in order to assemble my knowledge for this, our first match together. I knew from your social media postings that you are a passionate fan of this team and as I targeted you I pretended I was as well. I managed to recall key trophies the team had won and recent events from the football club’s website to enable me to demonstrate I was also a committed fan. In the course of the discussion with you and your friends who are also die-hard fans I trot out a piece I memorised from a football writer, tweaking it here and there to give it a ring of authenticity as I explain how the captain, sorry our captain, needs a holding midfielder alongside him to allow him to venture further forward and play key balls to the lone man up front. You all nod in agreement showing admiration in my knowledge despite it being acquired elsewhere. I feel the fuel flowing.

I attend the match with you and see how excited you are by the occasion. Your conversation speeds up as you talk about the team the manager has selected. The smell of beer and hot dogs and pies mixes together on the concourse, heightening the occasion as the singing from the away fans drifts from inside the stadium. An event like this assails the senses. The press of the crowd as it makes its way inside seems to lend energy to you and your pace quickens, causing me to have to speed up to ensure I am not left behind. Once in our seats your face shows how you are eagerly anticipating the game, the chanting and shouting already loud, bouncing around the stadium and competing with the delivery of the pa announcer. All around me I can see nervous anticipation, bullish enthusiasm and well-founded confidence. I listen to the chants so I learn the words enabling me to join in. I watch you as you crane forward in your seat, eyes fixed on the unfolding match, fists clenched and repeated utterances issued loudly to urge your team on. I mimic your exhortions and body language, leaning towards the pitch and then jumping up as your team, now our team, opens the scoring. You hug me and I return the hug, jumping up and down in a replica of the delight that washes across the home crowd. The taunting chants aimed at the opposition ring out and I readily join in, gesturing towards the disconsolate faces in the adjoining stand. A second goal is scored, this time from the cries of delight and the conjoining of profanity and blasphemy the goal is clearly of both quality and importance.

“That puts us on top of the league on goal difference,” you explain as if you are able to see that I am wondering why there is such a heightened reaction to this second goal. I know however that you are not wondering that at all. I know that you are thrilled that I am embracing with such enthusiasm the match, sharing the main passion in your life. I join in with the cheers, the shouting, the cries of frustration and disappointment, the barracking of the referee when he makes a poor decision and ensure I am fully integrated with the experience. I look around me watching the passion, the hope, the fury and the delight etched on the other supporters. The stadium is a cauldron of noise and emotion. I am plugged into this experience alongwith fifty five thousand other people. I can see the emotions are raw and visceral, even primitive.

I see all of this around me yet I feel none of it. I merely mimic everyone else in order to fit in. I am attached to the experience but I feel nothing. I am completely detached from it. All it does is serve  a purpose to enable me to create and build bridges and ties with you. I can see how it all affects you, it is clear to see. I am there yet I am not. I am connected yet removed. This is how it feels, or rather, this is how it does not.


Utopia. You want it. We give it to you. What you may not realise is that you are the spark of inspiration for this utopia, we are not. We allow you to design this ideal world. Interestingly, your utopias are strikingly similar. It is a place where you are loved, protected and made to feel safe. For some of you it involves the trappings of comfort and prestige. The impressive residence which has been tastefully furnished inside and is laden with the benefit of society’s technological advances. It may manifest as a wardrobe that is bursting with the beautiful and eye-catching. It may hold the sensational from the art world or the most luxurious materials that the world has created over millions of years. In other instances it may be the presentation of a cup of tea on your night stand each morning that forms part of their perfect world.

 Some of you reject the material and prefer to build this utopia on a foundation which you regard as more fulfilling, more deep-seated and nourishing. A land where mutual respect is a given, the simple pleasure of a stunning sunset evoking more delight and satisfaction than anything made by Bvlgari or Bentley. You want to be cherished, desired and listened to. For some it might be the intense passion of athletic love-making before the caress of soft hands lulls you into an all-encompassing slumber. Your utopia is a place where there is no anger, no tears and peace of mind. A place where one hand fits perfectly into another and will never let it go, a hand hold that says that it is okay to be frightened but you need not be because I will always be here. It is the knowledge that if you start to fall you will be caught. The wolf will always be kept from the door and nothing lurks in the darkness.  It is a halcyon world where the scent of dill onion bread, or bacon or pancakes signifies that we are together and you never want that fragrance to ever diffuse. So many of you offer different interpretations of what constitutes your utopia yet so many themes remain the same. Love, happiness, smiles, warmth, contentment, caring, laughter and passion are recurrent.

You build this utopia. The bricks are in the words that you say when you first meet us. Those sentences over dinner become walls that create these magnificent buildings that rise upwards into the azure sky. Those whispered desires the metal girders that criss cross as the monument to our relationship takes form. The desire in your eyes creates the undulating countryside and crafts the clear rivers that run through the beautiful meadows and fields that form in  your utopia. Your touch causes ripples across the landscape, creating and nurturing as the idyll forms. Everything you say and do, every expression and every glance, every thought and act is charged with such massive potential and it is all for the greater good. It is all to build utopia. You provide us with the plans and the materials and we set to, building this perfect world. You direct us and explain what utopia looks like, smells like and feels like. We are beholden to your instruction as we merely reflect what you want. You want to be called sweetheart every time we kiss you on the cheek? We do it. You want to dance through the night to the slowest of ballads? It is done. You want to receive a loving note through your letterbox? Consider it achieved. Each and every constituent part of this utopia is created by you, all we do is take what you want and make it happen. This is what we do. We are the facilitators of your dreams. We pay such close attention to the way you design this world, taking note of what should be excluded, what must be included and ensuring that every detail is executed.

We are so dedicated in our desire to build this perfect world for you that we spend as much time as we can with you, watching and observing, so that even your mannerisms begin to be included in this grand design. We are so skilled that we absorb everything about you, every hope, every desire and every dream and weave them into this utopia so that soon it begins to form and you marvel with an open mouth at how wonderful it is. It as if every breath you exhale creates another segment of this amazing place. Each heart beat thrusts life into it, every step you take transfers energy into this wonderland, your thoughts appear as if they were being written down as we somehow interpret them and cause them to become reality. You are the architect and we are merely the construction workers who endeavour to give you what you want and boy do we deliver. Nobody can create your utopia like us. Nobody has the skill or the dedication to bring this paradise to life. Does it matter that it is a construct, made from thoughts, dreams and wishes? Of course not, it is as real to you as the screen you now stare at and the fluttering sensation in your stomach. You can see it, taste, smell it, hear it and touch it. You are amazed at how perfect it is, it almost seems too incredible but it is not because you inspired it. You provided the drawings and plans and we brought it to life.

This is utopia.

This is all that you have ever wanted.

Now we have built it for you.

Does it matter that it is an illusion?

If so, well, you started it.

The Placebo Effect

It is common for those of you who have done the dance with us to remark once enlightenment has cast its illumination into your mind that,

“It seemed so real, it seemed genuine, in the beginning before it all changed.”

Ah yes, the seduction, the love-bombing, the honeymoon or the golden period. Call it what you might, that period of time when everything was wonderful and rosy in the garden certainly seemed to be real enough didn’t it? The whispered words of love and affection certainly sounded genuine. The long hugs and hours enveloped in our arms appeared to be real. The ecstatic love-making felt wonderfully intense. Even now as you sit in a state of bewilderment and confusion, your fingers run over the gifts that we bought for you and you can still feel them. Surely they must be real too.

Yet for all the magnificent recall you can apply to the sounds and sensations of that initial period you now know that it was all an illusion. You may not have processed us from your system on an emotional level. Indeed, it is doubtful that you ever will, since that it is the way we are designed so that the Hoover will always remain in play. You have gained understanding though and your mind repeatedly tells you that it was not real, it was not genuine and it was an illusion. You are caught between the two states of knowing it was not real but then knowing what you felt, what you experienced and how your emotions were heightened. Therein lies the answer. It was how you felt. It was your perception that generated such wonderful sensations. You perceived that this acquaintance that you half-knew became the bearer of a perfect of love. You perceived that every text message that was received contained affection and longing. You perceived the burning glances of desire. You saw,heard and felt all of this because you wanted to.

In reality you were fed something that lacked substance and was not genuine. You were told that we would make you feel loved and adored and you therefore felt that you were loved and adored. You were told that we would make you feel special and wanted. You felt special and wanted. The pill that was us contained no potency, no medicine and no effects. It was your perception that created the golden sensations you experienced. Yet again you are no doubt saying to yourself as you read this that it felt so real. Of course it did, because you let it feel so real. You believed in its power so much that you created the feelings that you desperately wanted to experience. You were subjected to the placebo effect. We were no better at tackling depression, high blood pressure or anxiety than a pill made of sugar. Yet, as astounded medical experts have seen time and time again that supplying a patient with what they think is a treatment for pain but is in reality is just a sugar placebo pill produces an improvement in the patient’s level of pain. We do the same to you. We make you feel loved, wanted and adored. You are given a placebo however and your desire to experience those wonderful feelings drives you to experience them.

This may sound like it is your fault. In a way you have some culpability for engaging in the thinking that you did which produced such marvellous results. It perhaps now makes more sense as to why this period of wonderful feelings did not last because you were just fed the placebo. However, in the same way that a medical placebo effect takes place, because the good doctor tells you that this pill will lessen your depression so it does, you have been subjected to a similar fraud. We told you how marvellous you would feel and you did. We perpetrated the fraud against you and fed you placebo after placebo with the inevitable effect. The tragedy is that there is not a nocebo effect with us. The downside really was real. Just in case you wondered about that too.

The Harpoon of Seduction

The harpoon. It is not a device you would readily associate with seduction. Indeed, it is not something you would readily link with anything pleasant nor subtle since it is usually used in the violent and bloody practice of whaling and sealing. Those who engage in those practices would, I am sure, regard it as a tool of the trade. A device that is used to sink the barbed point into the target and then haul them in by use of the rope or chain attached so that the prey cannot escape. It is a weapon and in our hands is just as deadly.

Our harpoon is effective but subtle. In fact, the harpoon of seduction is one hundred per cent effective in ensnaring our prey. Unlike the barbaric device used at sea, our harpoon does not wound or hurt but instead it makes you feel wonderful as the point is driven deep into your heart and the barbs take hold of you. Once our harpoon has been secured inside of you it is just a question of time before we have hauled you towards us and ensured that you are brought within our sphere of influence.

How does this harpoon work? It must be aimed at a target that will be vulnerable to its sugar-coated tip. If the wrong target has been selected then the harpoon will just bounce off and the intended target will wander away oblivious to what has just happened. This mistake might be made by a Junior Narc as he or she is working out the range and effectiveness of the harpoon. It is not an error that I will commit, nor many like me. We know which targets are susceptible to it. We undertake our preparatory work to ascertain that the target is one that can be speared in this fashion. This groundwork is essential because the nature of the harpoon of seduction is that it is only able to spear a certain type of person.

When the first shot is fired from the harpoon it must be able to pierce the outer defences of the target and then anchor firmly inside that person’s heart so that when we pull them towards us, the point remains firmly in place with no risk of slippage or extraction. The shot must be accurate and powerful enough to achieve these two pre-requisites, for if not, there is a risk that a second shot will be needed. This in itself is not disastrous but it expends additional energy, not something we like to do. Furthermore, there is the slight risk of the target realising that a harpoon shot has just been fire so that they shift position and make it more difficult to get that second shot away. If the target is a particularly juicy prospect this is most disconcerting.

The harpoon shot must also be the first shot fired in the attempt to ensnare the target. Yes, the love bombs will follow to ensure that the target has next to no resistance as she or he is pulled towards us. Their resolve will be eroded by our hand grenades of gratuitous affection and the machine gun spitting out flattery bullets, but all of that must come after the harpoon shot. If this is done before hand there is every likelihood that the target may dodge the onslaught or it will bounce off. The love bombing campaign must always follow the harpoon shot, not the other way around. So, how do you recognise the harpoon shot? Well, ordinarily you do not because the shot is so accurate and with such force it lands home and you have been snared. Now all we need do is pepper you with love and affection to keep you from resisting and realising what is going on and haul you in. Occasionally, a particularly astute target may realise something has happened but they will not be able to place exactly what it is. He or she will sense that something strange has just happened but they cannot put a finger on it. By then it is too late as the first salvo in the love bombing has begun to land.

The harpoon shot has to be powerful and accurate. Accordingly, the way to identify it , is as follows:-

  1. It must be the first act towards the target. It may be a gesture or words, usually it is the latter, but it must be the first thing we do towards you in terms of drawing you in. I do not mean ordinary friendly conversation and such like, but when we make that first move to draw you in, this must be the harpoon shot ; and
  2. To generate the power needed to sink the point deep into your heart the act or gesture must be significant. Indeed, if you look back to when your narcissist ensnared you, you will probably look at the harpoon shot and realise now it stood out a mile. At the time however it was greased with plausibility so it slid right in side of you, even if regarded in the cold light of day, it seemed over the top. A prime example of this would be receiving a text out of the blue from someone you know and may have done for a long time which professes, “I love you and I always have done.” That is a harpoon shot. You have known this person, you probably like this person but you never realised that this person felt this way. It seems over-the-top but you feel great as the harpoon shot slams into you and releases its euphoria into your blood stream, so this overrides any caution that might be ringing in your mind.
“I have wanted you for ten years and now is my chance.” Boom ! There is another harpoon shot.
“I have admired you from afar for so long but now I need to take this chance to make you happy. It is why I have been put on this earth.” Boom! There is another one.
“I was sent by God to look after you.” There is another.
 I am sure you can work out which was applicable to you.
Once it is in, the harpoon releases its charm poison, the love bombing begins and you are being pulled straight away into our fantasy. You are going to have a whale of a time aren’t you?