Mother,
I’ve placed your soul inside of myself as if you were a speck of dust. And dust that you are inside of my soul, I am the pearl around. Ingrained though you are inside of myself it is time for you to leave.
Get out and stay out, mother, and never dare to return.
Did you know that layer upon layer of a coating called ‘nacre’ is placed around an irritant until a gleaming pearl is formed? Layer upon layer I placed my soul around your glare that had me fixed as if I was a sore.
My mother of pearl, even as I write these words I want to shine – shine for you in search for love, love you never gave.
And shine I did, I shone and shone when hurtful eyes placed their gaze upon me, eyes themselves trapped inside a lustrous coating of nacre. No longer will I shine for such eyes. And no longer for yours because you must go.
When you know, you go.
When you know, you get out, and you stay out.
But how do you set a mother free? A mother that reigns inside?
What will remain of me, mother, when I let go of you?
Scared though I am to let go of myself: now it is time. Scared though I am of the pain that you’ll cause, it is time to set you free. You may no longer wear me in your hair or tie me round your neck.
It is time for you to leave.
Carefully, step by tiny step I’ll unharden myself, and I’ll find that searing wound of pain. And as I dress the wound with my own soothing eyes I’ll find you quivering there.
Nacre that you are around your own wound of pain, I must ask you to leave, now, mother, go.
Get out and stay out, MatriNarc, and never dare to return.