H.G Tudor - Manipulated e-book cover

You are being manipulated and you may not even know how.
The first stage to combatting the narcissist is to
understand. Understand what the manipulations are that are
used against you and why.
This book will tell you what the most common
narcissistic manipulations are and why they are
used by the narcissist. Acquire this knowledge
and reduce your vulnerability
to the narcissist.
Beat the narcissist and know their machinations.
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One of the most fundamental questions that must be answered is

“Is he or she a narcissist?”

You need to detect the narcissist and who better to do so on your behalf than me, with my extensive and unrivalled expertise.

Whether it is your husband, girlfriend, boss, brother, neighbour or best friend, ascertaining whether this person is a narcissist (or not) is crucial with regard to putting your mind at ease, formulating a plan to deal with the manipulations of the narcissist and to enabling you to secure freedom.

Knowing if the relevant person is a narcissist is the foundation stone of achieving understanding and freedom.

Submit to me information about the individual as per the guidance sheet which is provided once the consultation is booked and engage my narcissist detection expertise to confirm whether the person is a narcissist and if so, their school and cadre.

The process

  1. Effect payment.
  2. You will be e-mailed a common sense protocol governing the terms of the consultation.
  3. You will be e-mailed a guidance sheet assisting you with the type of information you should provide to maximise the accuracy of my assessment.
  4. You then submit upto 1200 words. If you exceed this then please purchase additional words at US $ 40 per 500 words, you may purchase as many additional bundles as you require.
  5. I will provide an audio file confirming whether the individual is a narcissist and if so, explaining why along with detail as to their school and cadre. This will be provided within 96 hours of submission of your information.

To effect payment, use the PayPal button(s) below and I shall be in touch  shortly thereafter.

(Please note if you experience a delay in hearing from me this is likely to be as a consequence of my absence owing to professional matters. Feel free to email me and if I am away, my out of office reply will give you the relevant details as to when you can expect to hear from me.)

 


Narc Detector


I always wake before you. This allows me to slip into the en suite and lock the door and deal with the horror of confronting another day without you seeing me endure this daily ritual.  Already I can feel the hunger rising as I stare at my reflection. Is this what I have become? The bleary-eyed, stubbled, exhausted creature that gazes unwaveringly back at me. No, I do not recognise that thing. How old it looks. The lips are thin, the hair thinning and clumped. Its shoulders rounded and slumped in resignation. I feel refreshed from a solid night’s sleep yet whatever is looking back at me does not accord with that feeling. The fear crawls across my skin and I rub at myself trying to dislodge that cold grip but it never works. The inner dread rises as I contemplate another day at the grindstone trying to piece together what I am, that long arduous task which never gets easier. In point of fact, the task becomes more difficult with each passing month as my advancing age screams at me about my mortality. How that banshee tortures me as she howls in my ears about my waning powers. I feel the tears welling as every injustice I have ever suffered is heaped on my shoulders by an uncaring and oblivious world. Does it not see my pain or does it just not care?
My mobile phone is clutched in my hand. I rarely let it leave my side and I place it on the counter besides the sink and then grip the counter as I continue to look at my reflection. My knuckles whiten as I fight the urge to scream at how empty I feel, how bereft I am and how this is so damn unfair. I try to wrench my gaze away but I cannot. I am entranced by what I see. I do not recognise this person. Where has that shock of white come from in the hair above the left temple? That is not me. Its skin looks dry as if it has been subjected to the dehydrating suction of some foul shade that visited in the night. The horror continues to escalate and it is only the chime of my ‘phone which breaks this terrible appreciation of the thing in the mirror.

Grateful for this interruption I shift my eyes to the ‘phone and see that a message has arrived from one of my coterie of admirers, Samantha. The pilot light inside of me flares into life and there is the slightest surge as the fuel begins to flow. I should wait until I have showered but the hunger is too great already and it must be addressed. I open the text message and like a starving man being given his first meal after fasting I devour the words of admiration.

“Good morning handsome, I missed you last night, I will call you when you are at work xxx”

The flame increases in size and strength as I close the message and smile .I turn on the shower letting the stream of water heat up as I flick to the texts that Samantha sent last night whilst I sat on the settee preoccupied with my activity of flitting between her texts and a conversation I was engaging in with a new prospect on facebook. I re-read a handful of the texts from Samantha with their declarations of admiration for me and I feel my strength returning. I put the phone down and step into the shower and relish the hot embrace of the jets of water. The fear has shrunk away and the dread sensation has been pushed back down. I liberally apply the shower gel, enjoying the sophisticated scent as I use a different product on my face, scrubbing away the dead cells and then another to cleanse and wash. I turn the taps and the water stops. I reach for a thick towel and pat my face dry feeling rejuvenated. As I stood beneath the purifying water my keen mind raced whilst I formed my machinations for the day. Always plotting and always scheming. The prospective fuel that will be garnered from the new sources that I am pursuing coupled with the dose of triangulation I will involve you in is causing me to feel excited and powerful. I pick up a bath sheet and admire the toned nature of my body as I dry myself and embark on the next stage of my preparation for the day by shaving and brushing my teeth.

A little while later my phone has chimed again and this time it is a colleague wanting to arrange lunch as he wants my advice since I am an expert on a particular topic he has to present on. The flame inside rises higher now and this spurs on my delinquent mind to consider additional ways to garner that oh so precious fuel during the day. The hunt for fuel is unending. The craven hunger that rumbles inside of me cries out for it and it is my sole preoccupation. The beast inside must be fed. Yet, now I am feeling strong. I haven’t applied my after shave and already two admirers have seen fit to worship at my altar and the games have not even yet to be played. But they will. I reach for the fragrance and splash it into my cupped hands and apply it to my neck as I look to the mirror. The handsome me has returned. The piercing blue eyes shine, the tousled, shiny locks of hair await the application of some wax to style them, the unblemished skin and close shave accentuate my chiselled good looks. I flash that winning smile as another surge of power flows through me. God I look good.

I return to the bedroom, ‘phone in hand and find you have now risen and I can hear the sounds of movement in the kitchen downstairs as you prepare breakfast as you always do. You will shortly bring me a mug of fresh coffee but I think I will complain that it is not hot enough and criticise you, just to see if I can provoke a reaction from you. It should not be too hard, I know precisely what to say. I notice the bed has not been made and rather than attend to it and help you, when you pass me my coffee with a ‘Good morning’ and a smile, I will cock my head towards the dishevelled heap and tut. Ah, yes, the master of games knows his stuff. I dress as another text arrives from another friend who wants to organise a golf game and asks for help with his swing, praising my technique. He is after more than assistance with his golf since he wants me to place work with him. He will have to provide me with more fuel yet to even be considered and of course, I will send the work elsewhere since there is someone who will give me something I want in return in a sweeter form and in larger amounts than my golfing chum. Still, the disappointment on his face will no doubt provide me with a hit too.

I can hear you coming up the stairs and I decide I will take a look in the full length mirror since I am fully attired to admire how elegant I look. I dress in a manner which says to anyone who meets me that the first move is mine. I stand and give a contented nod at my statuesque reflection. I look fantastic. I start to smile and then a bolt of anguish shoots through me as the craven creature that first lurked in the bathroom mirror appears. It is only for the briefest of instances but it causes me to exhale. My expensively-dressed self returns and the relief washes over me in an amazing way. The creature has gone again. He does that though. He likes to make fleeting appearances throughout my day to remind me that I must keep finding fuel. My quest for the potent fuel must be at the forefront of my mind at all times. As if on cue, you enter the bedroom, a veritable reservoir of fuel. You greet me as I cock my head to the unmade bed and tut. I feel the rush of power as your smile evaporates and you look crestfallen. The games have begun and my day is off to a great start. I only hope that creature stays away from me.

We don’t provide support. We are too concerned with ourselves and our daily hunt for the fuel that we need to be concerned about you. We are engrossed in our own world and have no interest in yours. The only time we pay attention to you is when you are providing us with fuel or you stop providing us with fuel. Everything we do is focussed around us. This is because we have to obtain fuel, as without we will disintegrate. The hunger for this fuel is never ending and accordingly all of our energy must be applied towards obtaining it. This leaves us with nothing left over for anyone else.

Being a caregiver yourself, you would like to think that the person who you share your life with, or who you work closely with, would be amenable to providing you with support. That may mean giving you emotional support when you are experiencing a difficult time or taking the strain allowing you to lessen the burden on yourself. You give and you are happy to do so, therefore why should they not do so as well? That is the outlook of someone normal operating by the norms and rules of your world. Those do not apply to us. We cannot provide you with support since we have nothing available to do so.

Added to that we do not know how to provide emotional support. Yes we can see how chores can be done and the like. We also have observed the ways that you provide emotional support to other people and we know the phrases that are used, the expressions that are formed on people’s faces and the gestures that are made. We have seen all that and we could trot all that out. In fact we have done in the past. We did this when we were seducing you. When we wanted you to divulge about your weaknesses and vulnerabilities this will have invariably saddened you and upset you. It may even have caused an episode where you need emotional support. We were happy to go through the motions then because we were at the stage of investing in your in order to get our fuel. We were content to make the right noises, give you a hug and make the panacea that is the cup of tea. All of this was learned from others. We did not feel anything for you. We could not put ourselves in your shoes (heaven forbid that would ever happen) and we could not empathise with what you were experiencing and nor can we ever do that. Yet again, we conned you into thinking that we are a caring and selfless person. We demonstrated such an approach when we were first together and that attracted you to us. This raised expectations that you could rely on us and turn to us when the need arose. It is all false.

Furthermore, when you need support and expect it from us, you are showing to us how you are weak. We despise weakness. You will find that our kind is rarely found near children, the infirm and ill and the elderly. This is because they are all weak and want support regularly. We do not want to be reminded of that fact. We cannot be bothered with you cluttering up our route to fuel. An exhibition of weakness infuriates us. A normal person would see someone in a position of weakness and deign to help and assist. We have seen how this is a natural reaction in normal people. It will not happen with us.

If you are fortunate, we will absent ourselves from the situation in an instant. We will generate some urgent reason; find a pressing engagement we had forgotten about in order to ensure we can get away from you and your ailment, woe or injury. You probably will never see us move as quick when it comes to getting away from somebody who needs help. If we are unable to exit the situation then we may just stand and look at you. You could be reaching out to us, eyes filled with tears of pain, asking for help and we will just give you a blank stare. We know we ought to be helping you, convention and observation has told us this, but we cannot do so. We are unable to leave but we are also unable to help you. This requires compassion and we do not have any. It requires us to us our energies to help you out and we are forbidden from doing so.

Our ultimate reaction where you need support from us is to go on the offensive. The uncomfortable feeling that you have generated inside of us makes us feel less powerful and smacks of inferiority. We know of only one way to banish such a sensation. We need to reassert our power and that means we must lash out at you. It becomes necessary to subject you to further insults and denigrating comments, at a time when you are feeling hurt and vulnerable.

“What are you crying for? I have had worse happen to me.”

“I am sick and tired of you being pathetic. Deal with it.”

“I bet (insert name of triangulated individual) would not make such a song and dance about it like you do.”

“It’s only a dog, you can get another one. Seriously, what a display over a dumb animal.”

“You are hysterical, you need to get help.”

“Stop crying or I will give you something to cry about.”

“That’s right; make it about you on my special day.”

We will lash out at you with these words in order to make you feel worse and ourselves feel better because that is all we care about. We fooled you into thinking that we care about you. That is a fallacy. Do not expect us to support you.

Demonstrating our legendary hypocrisy we will expect you to always be there for us. When we have a need you must attend to it straight away, even if you are experiencing difficulties yourself. When we have a scratch we expect you to make it better even though you might be bleeding to death before us. As with so much of our behaviour we do not regard the way we act towards you as meaning you should behave the same way towards us. If you chopped us in half you would most likely find this stencilled through us like lettering on a stick of rock

“Do as I say, not do as I do.”

I do sincerely and solemnly declare, by almighty God, this pledge to you. I have reduced  it to writing so that this shall bear testament to the sincerity by which I have made these promises and so that a record may exist for time eternal to the dedication and commitment contained therein.

I will love and cherish you and be faithful to you. I shall not let thoughts of congress with others trespass upon my mind for it remains pure and devoted to you. I will only ever give you my heart and ask that you have a care for it, for I only have the one and it now belongs to you.

I shall strive each and every day to bring you happiness and joy. Through dedicated application to securing your contentment. I will not rest until delight permeates everything around you. I have one purpose and that is to love you with the most perfect love, in every facet of my life.

I will bring you security and solidity, banishing fear and darkness through my unwavering loyalty to you. I shall be that foundation on which we shall build our glorious and everlasting love. I will toil ceaselessly in my endeavours to bring about our togetherness and union.

I will be your angel that spreads his almighty wingspan that shall shield you from harm. No injurious intent or scathing tongue shall ever penetrate the wall that I shall form behind which you will always be assured of shelter.

I promise to make you laugh so that your heart is lifted skywards and no troubles will ever burden you. I will always be there when the forces of darkness seek to hurt you. With my fiery sword I shall smite them into oblivion. Wherever you may tread I will be by your side, ready at a moment’s instance to catch you and hold you should the road crumble beneath your feet.

I will never be found wanting when fate conspires against you. You will always be able to look to me and in my eyes find reassurance, hope and optimism. No task shall be too great if at its conclusion your happiness is assured.

I promise that though the winds may howl about us, that although lightning strikes at us and iced rain is driven at us, I will wrap my arms about you and steer you to shelter. I promise that you will always find sanctuary and protection with me.

I will honour your name and join battle with those that besmirch it. I shall only allow truth to pass my lips in all my dealings with you. I shall treat you with respect, reverence and dutiful worship, in recognition of your inner and outer beauty for which I give daily thanks.

I will craft the finest gifts to lay at your feet, toil so that no fruit is forbidden to you, no luxury shall be denied to you and every wish you make I shall deliver.

I shall treat you with deference, patience and compassion. Only the most noble of intentions shall I ever exhibit unto you. My every thought, word and deed will be forged in the furnace of truth and honesty.

I shall keep as watchwords to my burgeoning heart, the lessons of fidelity, humility and grace. I give thanks now and shall each day for the bounty that comes our way. I shall not let petty distractions deter me from my sworn duty to love and honour you.

I swear that I shall listen with an open mind, speak with a true heart and only have eyes for you. I shall fill each of my days with the wonder of you and dedicate myself to the furtherance of our dreams. Each day I shall give thanks for the fact that we have been brought together and I shall treat our love as the most perfect and sacred. Nothing that I shall think, say or do shall ever desecrate what we have.

I shall nurse you through sickness, hold you through sadness and carry you through adversity. My stride will be purposeful and direct as I strive to bring you joy.

I shall only ever lay my hands in sensual delight on you and with my lips kiss no other the way that I shall kiss you. My passion burns for you and you alone. I shall desire you as greatly in the years that come to pass as I do in this moment. Time and age shall not wither or diminish the love that I have for you. With every day that passes I shall find something new to love you for. We may travel over the same route many times but each time I shall make it seem as if it is the first time.

I promise to imbue our lives with magic and wonder. I shall show you the fantastic and the marvellous. I will take pleasure in sharing the simplest delights with you alongside the most extravagant.

I am yours and that is the only ever state I shall maintain. Though temptation may beckon and seduction seeks to lead me astray, I shall, by the grace of God and the fortitude with which I have been blessed, walk only to you.

When the sun sets on our scintillating journey together, as we look back on all that we have created together, all we have achieved together and all we have loved in one another, it is your name that I shall say with my dying breath.

This is my pledge to you. All I ask is that you sign this written pledge and in so doing acknowledge your acceptance of all that is herein contained.

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No holds barred and no strings attached

The only unnatural sex act is that which you cannot perform

Read about how the narcissist views and uses sex and how you are central in that

US e-book here

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Also available in paperback on Amazon

This is classified as adult material and search filters may need adjustment.

Contrariwise,’ continued Tweedledee, ‘if it was so, it might be; and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn’t, it ain’t. That’s logic.”

Makes perfect sense to me but I should imagine it will not to you. Welcome to the logic of my world. The penchant that our kind and me exhibit for telling you that black is white and when you eventually agree (and you will no matter how ridiculous this may appear) we will tell you that it was black all along. Or orange. Or azure.

Our ability to deploy contrariwise must rank amongst one of the most confusing, infuriating and draining manipulative techniques that we possess. Well, judging by your reactions when we wheel this out it is. In all honesty, it is used so often it may as well be a default setting. No matter what you say to us we will automatically adopt a contrary position even if that contrary position appears to you as untenable and that it flies in the face of logic. We will always find ways of undermining, denying and deflecting what you are saying to us, most particularly if you are trying to make us look bad, prove we are wrong or you are challenging us in some way. We cannot allow those things to happen. We have a number of standard phrases that we will use in furtherance of this ability.

“Why must you always exaggerate?”

“No, I have never done that.”

“You are over-reacting. Again.”

“I think you will find that you are being sensitive, I did not mean it the way you are interpreting it.”

“You always look at it the wrong way.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“Your memory is playing tricks on you.”

“You/he/she/the world is making things up.”

“If you say so but you have got it wrong.”

“I never do that.”

“You always have to make a scene don’t you?”

Do any of these sound familiar to you? Our capacity to be presented with evidence of something and then in the next breath deny the existence of that evidence is staggering. We will reject what you say, deny we ever said anything (even though we actually said it just ten minutes ago) and twist our position so many times we appear to turn into a corkscrew.

Why do we do this? It serves three purposes. The first is because we are never wrong then we must never be shown to be wrong. You seem to have a fascination for trying to demonstrate to us that we are wrong about the things we say and do. That is a nonsense. We cannot be wrong and you must accept that. Our use of contrariwise enables us to ensure that we remain right and you remain wrong. It is entirely logical to us. If it is not so to you then that is your problem. You wanted to come into our world so now you must accept its rules. Do not try and argue that you did not agree to this. When you embraced our illusion you consented to this state of affairs. Do not try and deny that it is the case otherwise we will just have to provide you with some more contrariwise.

The second reason that we do this is that we have to have you in a state of confusion. This means that being a creature of order and logic you will try and make sense of our contrariwise which will merely serve to put your head in a spin. Furthermore, you cannot help yourself but want to show us that we are wrong. You cannot accept that we are unable to see the point that you are making. That is entirely the point. You are subjected to our rules now and logic, reason and sense rode out of town many moons ago. This confusion will leave you susceptible to our other manipulations and drain you of your resistance and resolve making it harder for you to escape our grip.

The third reason is down to our lifeblood, yes fuel. Your evident frustration, curses and desperation as you try to make us see that we are wrong provides us with delicious dollops of fuel. You tear your hair out, repeat yourself, raise your voice and collapse sobbing in frustration. It is all good fuel to us. No matter if you argued the point with the forensic precision of a top barrister we would twist the words so they achieve what we want and not what you want. To borrow from Lewis Carrol’s fantastic writing I leave you with the words of humpty dumpty, who was clearly a pioneer of our kind.

“When I use a word it means just what I choose it to mean.”

You signed the pledge. Your tears of joy fell on it and washed away what I had written there revealing instead what has been carved into the stone underneath. It is your pledge to me.

You promise to supply me with the fuel that I need, be it morning, noon or night. You dedicate yourself to loving, cherishing but above all else admiring me. From the moment you wake until the moment you close your eyes and hopefully seek slumber, you will apply your every thought, word and deed to supplying me with the potent fuel that I require.

You swear that you will be cast adrift from everything that you once held dear. You vow that you will raise no complaint nor seek to remedy your splendid isolation and instead you shall give thanks for the opportunity to be beholden to me.

You will agree with me without condition. You will submit to my will and my word. You will be subjugated and dominated and you will allow this to happen with a great gladness in your heart.

You unconditionally accept the dogma of my thinking and you will without demurring or deferring accept my rules even where there are no rules. You shall speak when I demand it and remain silent otherwise. You agree that you will second-guess, anticipate and ascertain all that I require and you shall do so without assistance, hint or help. You will raise no complaint nor identify any contradiction in the diktats that I shall pronounce, no matter how wildly they alter and vacillate.

You agree to remain trapped in the altered reality that shall be created for you and you shall do nothing to seek your escape from it. You agree you shall polish my hall of mirrors and keep the same free from dust, defect or deterioration.

You shall not better anything that I do, you shall diminish anything that you do in deference to my brilliance. You agree to comply with my every wish, demand and command and in so doing recognise that it is for your own good.

You shall recognise that you over-react, forget, fail to remember, blow out of proportion and engage in crazy aberrations of behaviour and you shall give repeated thanks for the tolerance and forgiveness that I allow you in the face of such blatant and sustained provocation.

You willingly and without complaint, claim or seeking redress agree to forgo your self-esteem, your identity and your sense of self. You volunteer to lay your self-worth, reason and confidence as sacrifices on the altar of my greatness.

You will submit to every whim I express, each desire I create and every demand without regard for its depravation, degradation or denigration.

You will with marvellous enthusiasm praise and worship me and with clarion call declare your awe at my almighty brilliance. You shall not suffer others to denigrate my name and instead you swear to defend my honour and reputation irrespective of logic, reason or hypocrisy.

You agree to be coated in confusion, enshrined in bewilderment and driven to demented frustration. You shall willingly strive with every fibre of your being to pander, soothe and placate me save when I do not require such treatment and expect you to realise without indication or clue.

You will go down on your knees and give thanks for the largesse that I exhibit towards you, that you are granted a daily audience with my scintillating superiority and that you are allowed to breath the air that I breath.

You shall cast off all notion of self, forgo your relationships and  betray your friends and family in order to better dedicate yourself to my greatness. You shall relinquish all interests, hobbies and activities in order to devote your life to me. You shall forgo all assets and chattels, delivering them up for my use, abuse and destruction.

You agree that yes means no, no means yes and yes and no mean whatever I want them to mean. You shall always give thanks for the enlightenment that I shall bring to you and do nothing to evade, dilute, diffuse or ameliorate my greatness.

You agree to become my appliance and an extension of my greater glory. You understand that you have only one role and that is to supply me with my precious fuel. You will not diminish nor interrupt this supply on pain of most terrible retribution.

You swear on pain of damnation that you shall never ignore me, never show indifference towards me and never to fail to react to everything that I say and do.

You will sacrifice everything that you hold dear in recognition of the god that I am and you shall do so whilst smiling despite the trauma you will suffer, the abuse you will endure and the horror visited on you each and every day.

You shall say my name with your dying breath and raise no complaint when I forget who you are.

I note you have already signed this pledge. You are learning already.

Ordinarily, all you would see above, would be the words ‘I love you’. You would always fail to notice the huge asterisk next to those words.

This is the Narcissist’s Conditional Asterisk.

Everything the narcissist says or does has this asterisk next to it. Except you never see it.

If the words or actions of the narcissist appeared on a piece of paper, the Narcissist’s Conditional Asterisk, would always accompany those words on that piece of paper.

You see, if you turned this piece of paper over, you would discover the footnote to the Narcissist’s Conditional Asterisk.

You never knew about the existence of this footnote. This footnote is why you could not understand why the narcissist said what he said and did what he did.

Fortunately for you, you are now being given access to what this footnote states.

If you turned over the piece of paper to find this footnote, this is what it states every single time :-

“The words or actions described overleaf are subject to the following. They can ( and invariably will) be revoked at any time, for any reason (and/or without reason) howsoever I choose and without communication of the revocation to you, although I did communicate them to you (even if I did not) if such maintenance of communication is necessary.

The words and actions mean precisely what I mean and not what you think they mean, but they might mean ‘a’ but if I want them to mean ‘b’ then they will mean ‘b’ (save where they need to mean ‘a’ or ‘c’ or possible ‘a’ and ‘c’ ) and they never mean what you think they mean, but I will not tell you that and of course I do not have to tell you that.

If the words and/or actions refer to a future event, then there is no guarantee or even likelihood that this future event will happen, in fact there is no future event (unless I decide there is a future event) and if you make reference to this future event I am able to deny it without any liability consequence or accountability and you are quite simply deranged and deluded for referring to it. The future event may come to pass if I deem it necessary, but it most likely will not. 

The words and actions are completely true (from my perspective, not yours) as of the moment of issuing them but will disappear into the ether approximately one second thereafter and if I wish to resurrect them I shall do so, but on such terms and conditions as I see fit, without prejudice to my rights and entitlements and with extreme prejudice and (if necessary) malice aforethought with regard to you. You have no rights, I am under no obligation and you have no right of action based on these words and actions (which of course were never said or done, unless I decide they were said or were done), there is no right of appeal and no basis for you relying on these words and actions although I expect you to rely on them in order to ensure your comply with your obligations towards me with regard to the fulfilment of The Prime Aims.

Should you endeavour to make reference to these words and actions in circumstances which do not accord with my need for control and the provision of the Prime Aims, then such words and actions never existed and you are quite simply crazy to ever suggest that they existed. No, this is not gas lighting, you have been reading too much into the situation and picking up terms you do not understand, so you should not worry your pretty little head about such matters and sit down and shut up. NOW.

Any attempt to rely on the words and actions for any purpose which I deem contrary to my interests is an act or treason, sedition and absolute disloyalty on your part and you will be immediately tried, judged and sentenced by me in the High Court of My Rules and subjected to an appropriate response in order to ensure that your sedition is both punished and quashed. Any attempt to relay these words and actions to a third party for the purposes of support or contradiction of my Absolute Rule is a further act of treason, sedition and absolute disloyalty and will be met by a further immediate trial, judgement and sentence by me in the Even Higher Court of My Rules and will result in your punishment and smearing to said third party. I reserve the right to try, judge and sentence the third party on whatever grounds I deem fit in order to maintain control over you, the third party and him over there as well.

You can absolutely rely on what I have said, have done, or will do because I need you to be conned into such reliance, but I immediately withdraw the words and actions (without prejudice to my right to immediately reinstate them and maintain that they were never withdrawn in the first place) whenever it is necessary and appropriate for me to do so. As always you have no recourse against me for such withdrawal (although there was never any actual withdrawal, don’t you remember? You don’t, I told you that you were losing your mind, you need to get some help and see somebody).

The moment the need for control has been established by the saying of the words and/or the doing of the deeds/actions overleaf then the words will no longer be acted on and will melt into nothingness and the deeds/actions will no longer be maintained and will similarly vanish into the ether.

It is neither an excuse or reason with any validity whatsoever to claim that you did not know about this footnote and the terms and conditions contained within. You are irrevocably bound by this footnote and the power of my asterix (whereas I am neither bound at any time) and to claim you did not see it, did not know about it and/or did not understand it, is quite simply pathetic and you should be ashamed of yourself. I don’t even see what I see in you to say the words (which I may or may have not said dependent on the needs of The Twin Lines of the Narcissistic Defence) and/or do the deeds/actions (which I may or may not have done dependent again on The Twin Lines of the Narcissistic Defence).

This footnote represent the entirety of the applicable terms save those which I deem necessary to make-up and add as and when is required to further assert or maintain control over you. Those terms remain equally valid and apply retrospectively to a time at my absolute discretion. There are no waivers, exemptions, statutory safeguards or common-law loopholes that apply to this footnote (save those generate by me and for me).

This footnote is to be interpreted in accordance with English, Mandarin, Swahili and/or Narc and/or any other language including Nonsense, Gibberish, Word Salad and Circularity. 

This footnote is subject to the jurisdiction of no courts other than those of my invention.