FUEL MATRIX PART THREE

The final part of the series of articles concerning the important Fuel Matrix addresses the school of narcissism of the Greater Narcissist. Like the Lesser and Mid-Range Schools, this particular school has three divisions.

1. The Lower Greater Narcissist (“LGN”)

The LGN is intelligent, charismatic and scheming. He has significant control over his ignited fury but when that fury is ignited his response usually manifests through heated fury. He shouts, he threatens but in an instant can turn the charm back on in order to smooth over with astonishing ease the situation following his tirade. He is also the most prone of all of the Greaters to use physical and sexual violence. He is nowhere near the blunt instrument of aggression that the Lesser school is. The LGN will maintain his control for a considerable period of time and then will erupt with violence. He is less concerned about the façade (compared to the other Greater Narcissists) as he will rely on charm to ensure that he can explain away, smooth over and dilute the impact of any sudden explosion of violence.

a. Primary Source. A Greater will never rely on a family member as a primary source. His primary source will always be an IPPS and at the high end of the particular cadre which he belongs to, thus if Somatic, he will have a very attractive wife or girlfriend. If Cerebral, this person is likely to be of a high calibre in terms of academics. The LGN can manage without a primary source if necessary and will instead rely on a corps of IPSSs (see below). The IPPS of a Greater will be installed with considerable charm, flattery and attraction and is often an individual who is strong, independent and resourceful – those traits indicating to the LGN that the empathic and class traits are in plentiful supply and such an individual represents a delightful challenge to bring to heel. The LGN, not extensively concerned by the façade will have a high turnover of IPPSs. He will readily attract them,  launch into an horrendous devaluation and dis-engage in a swift time frame, before drawing in another with ease.

b. The familial secondary source network of the LGN will be extensive as members of the family hold him or her in high regard. There will be one or two in that network who will be regarded as scapegoats by the LGN and will have been on the receiving end of his or her vitriolic outbursts but immediate and extended family will find the LGN impressive and be proud of this person’s status and achievements;

c. The LGN is likely to hold a senior managerial position (probably at board level) in a corporate entity or public body, he may well operate his own business and as a consequence will have a significant number of secondary sources throughout the business and related to the business;

d. The LGN has a significant social network also. He has a loyal Coterie and within that Coterie he can rely on a cabal of at least half a dozen inner circle friends who are all likely to be Lieutenants. He has an extensive outer circle friendship and if ever at a loose end he would be able to call on people to join him, often with little notice. The LGN tends to operate at a local level and therefore is well known in their immediate neighbourhood and locality, both in a business, community and social sense. This results in a large network of secondary sources;

e. The LGN can easily juggle two or more IPSSs when the need arises. He has little difficulty attracting them and will do so from social, work and community hunting grounds. He also has no issue with the IPSSs knowing about one another and indeed he will actively encourage competition amongst them. He has no concerns about the IPPS being aware of these indiscretions as he revels in the triangulated fuel and relies on his charm combined with physical and sexual threat to keep the IPPS in place until he decides to dis-engage. He regards it as his entitlement and right to have a harem of IPSSs. He has no interest in compartmentalising them, but rather ensures they understand they have no call on him as of right, but given his attractive qualities he knows that they regard him as a catch and that competition is a matter of fact when trying to secure his attentions. Many IPSSs accept, as a consequence of the LGN’s presentation, that they must share him and are content to have that arrangement rather than risk losing him altogether;

f. The LGN interacts with scores of tertiary sources and does so in an arrogant and high-handed manner. He will shift from pleasant to malicious in an instant owing to some perceived slight against him or often just because he can in order to show off his power to other people. He revels in having people running around for him and again is not unduly concerned by the façade, so that it as a consideration does not prevent him from lashing out at people, who he will then win over again with considerable charm.

The LGN has similarities with the ULN in that they are aggressive, arrogant and swaggering. The LGN however is more calculating, far more grandiose and charismatic but is only able to maintain this on a local scale.

2. The Middle Greater Narcissist (“MGN”)

The MGN is a grandiose, flamboyant and outgoing individual who most likely fits with the public perception of what a narcissist is, without realising that the disorder is far more detailed and complex. The MGN is a considerably popular person who has the people touch, able to converse with paupers and princes (so long as it serves the MGN’s purposes). The MGN has a draw and a charm which is similar to The Magnet Empath but of course with all the downsides that one would expect from a narcissist.

The MGN is a successful individual. He or she may well run their own business which is likely to be the ideal platform for their showmanship, performance and entertaining talents. The MGN is not someone who is scheming in the corporate world or battling in the highest court in the land, but rather the MGN is on stage, up front and there for all to see. The rock stars of the world, famous television presenters, politicians and demagogues form those who are MGNs. They create an astonishing façade of brilliance, popularity and acceptance. People want to be with the MGN, they worship and adore them. Their reach far extends that of the localised LGN and is instead a countrywide, continent wide or world wide reach.

The MGN is driven, ambitious, with high energy levels which are channelled into the pursuit of fame, wealth and excellence. They appear in the church, in entertainment and politics. They make people feel like they are the only person in the room whereas unwittingly they are actually drawing that person deep inside their world. These people are not to be crossed. Charismatic and calculating they will crush those who get in the way, never bothered about using people to get what they want but always with their considerable charm so that it almost feels like a pleasure to have been used by the MGN. Passionate, excellent public speakers, motivated and motivating they have people in the palm of their hand.

It is unsurprising that these individuals have massive fuel networks.

a. Primary Source. Never a family member and thus always an IPPS. The MGN is likely to have been or will be married several times. They have no problem in drawing impressive IPPSs to them, thus gaining considerable fuel, character traits and residual benefits. The MGN will also knowingly seduce Lessers or Mid-Range Narcissists, where a purpose is served and this contributes to the high-turnover of IPPSs. The Primary Source is kept in place through the charm and brilliance of the MGN and then through devaluation this is most often through threat of withdrawal or actual withdrawal. The MGN is rarely physical with the victim, there is no need to be that way. The MGN does not go in for lengthy devaluations through the commission of savage acts but instead prefers the withdrawal of so many benefits associated with the MGN to speak for themselves. The MGN then engages in considerable Relationship Bulletins when a new IPPS is swiftly installed, in order to compound the misery of the one who has been usurped. The MGN will smear the IPPS if necessary but prefers generally to move on and their malicious side is evident through the delight they take in showing off their new acquisition.

b. The Familial Secondary sources of the MGN are largely benign and supportive of the MGN but the MGN being someone who is often in demand from work and socially, has little time for family and therefore whilst on reasonable or good terms does not draw extensively on their familial secondary source network;

c. Colleague Secondary Sources. The MGN will have numerous colleague secondary sources who all think very highly of the MGN and the MGN is most keen to maintain this. He places huge stock in his façade and therefore it is very rare for him to devalue any colleague secondary sources, but when it happens it is fast and effective with no coming back (unless the MGN decrees it as worthwhile, but this is rarely the case). The blackened colleague will no doubt be removed, dismissed or decide to go elsewhere since the MGN’s charisma and powerful façade can rarely be taken on with any success;

d. Social secondary sources. The MGN has  a cabal of around a dozen inner circle friends who will mainly be Lieutenants. He will also have scores of social outer circle friends and is never ever short of someone who will be happy to pour some positive fuel the way of the MGN. People are desperate to be the MGN’s friend, they will fight one another for favour and a minute in the golden glow of the MGN is well worth the effort. The social secondary sources of the MGN, those in the outer circle, will include several Lesser and Mid-Range Narcissists who are drawn by the charisma and popularity of the MGN.

e. In terms of IPSSs, the MGN has them by the truckload. His charisma, success, money et al make for a honeypot for individuals who are bowled over within moments and soon find themselves in bed. The MGN will have several on the go at once but through his Lieutenants and the extensive use of charm he is careful to ensure that if there is an IPPS, this extensive backdrop of IPSSs remains hidden. Indeed, of all narcissists, it is the MGN who use Dirty Little Secrets the most extensively. If he is inbetween IPPSs, then he can function from his extensive harem but does so in a way that is seen as ‘dating’ rather than shagging around. His reputation and the zealous Lieutenants and Coterie see to it that Brand MGN remains unsullied from allegations of promiscuity and infidelity.

f. With regard to tertiary sources, the MGN will engage with thousands who all think the MGN is wonderful and he or she is always keen to ensure this is the case. Occasional tertiary sources will experience a dressing down, but always away from the outside world, so the ever so important façade is unaffected. When in the public eye, the MGN is careful to ensure that the façade is maintained and that tertiary sources are treated in a benign way so that the carefully constructed and preserved façade remains intact and serves its purpose

3. The Upper Greater Narcissist (“the UGN”)

Finally we address the fuel network of the most dangerous of the Greater school, the UGN.

The UGN is very intelligent but not necessarily the most intelligent of the relevant schools. What sets the UGN apart is the level of awareness, his extensive hold on his ignited fury and his intense calculation. He is a Macchiavellian individual, a schemer and a planner. He is rarely impulsive and instead deliberates, plots and plans. He calculates the effects of his behaviours, he considers the ramifications in order to optimise the outcome and conserve energy. Possessed of high energy levels this does not mean that he is keen to see his precious energy squandered. He values the façade but what he values more than anything is his ability to manipulate. He hordes vast intelligence on people, exhibits a fearsome memory and is extremely well-connected. He is grandiose when required but also revels in chicanery, shadowy deals and behind the scenes manipulation. Whilst he admittedly enjoys mass adoration he does not rely on it to the same extent as the MGN does. He moves in powerful circles, can rely on powerful contacts and connections should he so choose and is fearless in his behaviours. He cannot ever be beaten, he must always win and the end justifies the means more to him than anybody else. He is malicious with those who cross him and will readily destroy them, but he is adept at recognising the worth of individuals to his Grand Designs and therefore is not capricious in the application of his formidable destructive powers. Vastly charming but with an edge which has people wary and indeed downright terrified of saying the wrong thing or committing an erroneous act. He is able to convert people to his way of thinking and will do so through the application of charm or threat – he is content to apply one or the other or both – so long as he achieves what he wants. That is all that matters to him. Single-minded, devious and in it for the long-haul, the UGN should never be underestimated.

In terms of his fuel matrix, this is extensive.

a. The primary source is never a family member but instead is an IPPS. He is easily able to attract high calibre IPPSs for the purposes of The Prime Aimsand is tremendously effective in sweeping them off their feet. He however needs repeated stimulation and will not suffer fools gladly and therefore the golden period for those who couple with the UGN is likely to be the shortest of all the Greaters. The golden period is however intense and mesmerising. The devaluation which follows is almost always the most unpleasant as through an array of manipulations the UGN will make the IPPS’s life hell. Not beyond the use of sexual or physical violence towards the IPPS but it is extremely rare. Instead it is the psychological games which appeal to the puppet master that is the UGN and he revels in devising traps for the hapless victim to blunder into. The UGN will also continue to hoover in a malign method the IPPS even though she has been dis-engaged from, if the UGN deems it appropriate. The UGN more than any other type of narcissist will commence protracted and nasty campaigns against the removed IPPS. He does so in a way that is high in trickery, she knows it is him causing her this pain but is unable to prove it is, such is the way in which the secretive UGN operates.

b. Familial secondary sources. The UGN is not reliant on familial secondary sources and often has severed ties with several members of this aspect of the fuel network deeming them to be unhelpful or indeed hindrances. Those that are tolerated will be tolerated because they serve a significant purpose to the efficient and effective UGN. His coldness towards his family places them on respectful edge or over the top desire to thaw him out. He is respected for his accomplishments and there is genuine admiration for what he does, but it is always tinged with wariness.

c. Colleague secondary sources. The UGN more than any other kind of narcissist regards himself as peerless and therefore colleague secondary sources really are there purely for his use. He has no concept of loyalty to them and will promote and demote as the situation is required. He is aware of the need for a façade but is not beyond using that façade in two respects. There are those that consider the UGN as brilliant, engaging and marvellous and there are those who are terrified of him but recognise they must obey and comply. The UGN is content to operate such a dual façade as it presents him with considerable benefits. The UGN is likely to hold positions of authority and power with corporate entities, public bodies, the military and politics. He has an extensive network of colleague secondary sources who will be loyal – out of admiration or fear – and he gathers fuel, information and assistance from these extensive networks. The UGN uses blackmail repeatedly within his own business and engaging with those from external businesses. Those that foolishly come up against him, regret doing so.The UGN will have a well-respected public business profile but his best work is done in the shadows as he applies real influence to events locally, nationally and/or globally. It is highly likely that some of his sphere of operation is unknown to those who think that they know him and the UGN has an ‘off grid’ colleague network also.

d. Social secondary sources. The UGN has an extensive social network through his charm and influence. He can easily engage with people and soon have them in the palm of his hand but easily bored and distracted it is only the high calibre who keep his attention for a long time. Hence, his inner circle cabal will be less than half a dozen but his outer circle network will be scores of people. Like the MGN he never struggles for company or fuel from these outer circle admiring friends. The UGN will devastate the life of a social secondary source which crosses him but for the most part he tends to just dis-engage and drop the individual when the UGN is bored and/or sees nothing more to be gained from this person.

e. The IPSS. The UGN gathers numerous IPSSs. Unlike the LGN, the UGN usually ensures that the IPSSs do not know about one another unless he deems triangulation advantageous. Similarly, he keeps them unknown from the IPPS until it suits his purpose to reveal that there is somebody else or, more usually, the suggestion there might be someone else which can be plausibly denied. The UGN attracts IPSSs with ease and requires them for the purposes of his fuel network when devaluation is occurring. He is also able to utilise several IPSSs when he has no IPPS. The UGN will utilise IPSSs in a shelf methodology and pick them up and down as he sees fit. He is swift to apply a corrective devalue to keep them in line and if they will not respond he will dis-engage.

It should be noted that whilst narcissists do operate a double-life this is usually with the IPPS and nearly all others tend to see the ‘good’ side of the narcissist (save where otherwise explained in this article and the first two parts). The UGN more than any other narcissist does operate a double life with a charming and engaging public façade and then a dark and sinister side which is used against the IPPS, familial, colleague and social secondary sources where required and also against IPSSs where required. His malice towards those victims that have been identified of deserving it, is unrelenting, savage and of a calculated degree that is devastating. He is able to call on many others in his fuel network to assist his machinations albeit he is a capable and resourceful individual.

f. Tertiary sources. The public face of the UGN is one where he will be well-known – this might be in industry circles, business environments, a sporting network or entertainment network. He will not be as well-known as the MGN but is not unheard of either. His ‘fame’ tends to be within more esoteric and powerful networks as opposed to mass appeal. Nevertheless, this means that his name (and moreover his reputation) will be known to hundreds of people. These individuals will be treated in a benign way as part of the ‘good’ façade, but the UGN is also known to disincentivise certain tertiary sources for the purposes of sending a signal. Just like the devaluation of an IPPS, the devaluation of a tertiary source may well be linked to the UGN, it just cannot be proven.

The UGN is well-known and his influence is extensive. He operates a vast fuel network but in contrast to his brother narcissists he also has an extensive ‘dark’ fuel matrix which most people would have no idea about. It is this ability to operate in a double sense and to drift in and out of worlds which makes the UGN so dangerous to his victims.

 

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THE FUEL MATRIX - PT TWO

As explained in Part One, understanding the fuel matrix for the relevant school of narcissist (with appropriate adjustments relevant to the cadre) allows you to understand how a particular narcissist is likely to respond to your imposition of no contact, dependent on how you fit into that matrix. It also allows you to understand what other competing interests you can expect within this fuel matrix and how the narcissist is likely to interact with these other sources. This part of the series considers the fuel matrix of the Mid-Range School of narcissist.

  1. The Lower Mid-Range Narcissist (“LMRN”)

The LMRN is of reasonable cognitive function. He has no awareness as to what he is. Whilst passive aggressive features are the forte of the Mid Ranger Narcissist, as a lower, he does gravitate towards the aggression of the Lesser Narcissist. This means that when there is an ignition of fury, the relevant victim may well experience the manifestation of physical violence. There is not the blunt fury of the Lesser, but the risk of being punched or kicked is there. The LMRN, when heated fury is ignited, will respond at times by throttling the victim.  There are potential substance abuse issues evident with the LMRN also. He or she will work and have a reasonable job albeit it is unremarkable.

The LMRN relies heavily on people feeling sorry for him or her and this arises either through the manifestation of cold fury, through silent treatments et al or having a temper tantrum as heated fury is exhibited. Unlike the Lesser who will erupt in a volcanic fashion or the Greater who will erupt with a frenzied malice, a calculated application of antipathy which will hurt his or victim, the LMRN is petulant.

Of all the schools and their divisions, the LMRN is most likely to become The Incredible Sulk . He has a fairly low threshold of control on his fury and can either erupt with heated or cold fury and pretty much does so in equal measure, something which is different from the other divisions of schools.

The LMRN has a small fuel matrix. He has little charm, if any, he will have limited financial power and relies on people feeling sorry for him and wanting to help him. The LMRN who is of the Victim Cadre is a pathetic creature indeed. In terms of the fuel matrix, it is as follows

a. The primary source will usually be intimate in nature. There may be occasions where the LMRN will skulk back to his or her parents and place them as primary source but most of the time the primary source will be intimate in nature and is often someone who is a The Carrier Empathto put up with the fairly low energy level of the LMRN and his or her propensity to sulk. The primary source is expected to work and run the house and will be denied much opportunity to socialise as the LMRN will not want that person being away from them.

b. There will be numerous familial secondary sources. Unlike the Lower Lesser or Middle  Lesser, the LMRN is able to maintain reasonably good relationships with his family because he seeks pity and sympathy more than fear and hurt. They will regard him as moody but will put up with it meaning he is able to rely on these secondary sources as reliable. This is necessary because of the point in (c).

c. The social secondary sources will be limited. Lacking charm and generally regarded as sulky, self-centred and something of a mardy arse, the LMRN struggles with creating a significant social secondary source circle. He will have a small number, three or four, inner circle friends with whom he will do most things;

d. The LMRN usually works and therefore will have colleague secondary sources. He will not be held in high regard by them but nevertheless his less volcanic nature means that he will have numerous of these colleague secondary sources dependent on the size of the organisation he works for;

e. The LMRN will have an IPSS when the IPPS is being devalued. It is unusual for him to have more than one and it is often the case that the IPSS will not be recruited from a social setting but usually through work;

f. In terms of tertiary sources, the LMRN will engage with a reasonable number of these sources as he works, he will be out and about in terms of shopping etc and his interactions will largely be benign in nature unless he perceives a criticism and then he will readily erupt in order to draw negative fuel from the offending tertiary source.

2. The Middle Mid-Ranger Narcissist (“MMRN”)

The MMRN has a little charm but his weapon is politeness and behaving in a respectable manner. He or she is well-thought of. The MMRN is not a huge attention seeker and does not exhibit grandiose behaviours. Instead the MMRN wants to be well thought of by everybody. This person is intelligent and is likely to have a good job.

Like any narcissist, the MMRN is hugely sensitive to criticism and the MMRN is more sensitive than most. This is because he lacks the dynamic aggression of the Lesser or the malevolent charm of the Greater but instead feels constrained by his lack of ability to influence people in a sudden and meaningful manner. This means that the MMRN is an envious individual and is always looking to gain the advantage from covert and secretive means. He throws the figurative second punch (often piggybacking on the behaviour of a Greater although he does not know that this is what that person is). He is two-faced, a spreader of gossip and always looking to get other people to do his dirty work. He is cowardly but will never countenance being called as such. He ingratiates himself with people through his intelligence and limited charm and is prone to repeated pity plays. He is the archetypal architect of the silent treatment in all its forms and heated fury is rare with him. If it does appear, it will be shouting, spitting and slapping. He is an habitual liar, not just in a defensive manner (which is what Lessers and the LMRN do) but in a proactive manner, in order to cause trouble and cajole people into acting on his behalf through the dissemination of gossiping untruths.

The fuel matrix of the MMRN is not extensive but is larger than that of the LMRN.

a. The primary source. Rarely a family member and nearly always an intimate partner. This person will be guilt-tripped into doing everything for the supposedly hard-working MMRN. He will use his façade of being a ‘regular’ guy to keep the IPPS in place. He will unleash repeated silent treatments, blame-shifting and projection to maintain the upper hand;

b. Familial secondary sources.  The MMRN has reliable and extensive familial secondary sources. He is either well-regarded by those of The Coterie who consider him to be a well-brought up son, well-regarded nephew and brother, or as someone who is prone to being viewed as “sensitive” being the unknowing victim’s view of this particular narcissist. Either way the family secondary circle is one which is compliant for the MMRN;

c. Colleague secondary sources. The MMRN has a reasonable sized fuel matrix at work. This is roughly equal between those who consider him a diligent worker and reliable and those who consider him to be untrustworthy and a brown-noser. Whilst the MMRN will make pity plays concerning the unfair attitude of the latter group, the fact remains that he has engagement with well over a dozen people, possibly more dependent on the size of the workplace, all of which who are locked into his fuel matrix.

d. With respect to the social secondary sources, the MMRN does not have an extensive social circle. His matrix draws from the IPPS and the secondary sources through family and work. Lacking the charisma and grandiose behaviours which might draw people to him socially in significant numbers, the MMRN keeps his social circle small with perhaps 4-6 inner circle friends. He will not see these friends with significant regularity but instead does so more through the auspices of organised events, such as dinner parties amongst the groups or attendance at functions.

e. The MMRN will have an IPSS at the appropriate time. He is capable of securing the attentions of two IPSSs through a combination of intelligence and manipulation. He relies, like the LMRN on the workplace being the feeder ground for the selection and cultivation of the IPSS or IPSSs. Somewhat ponderous in nature and also very much aware of his façade the MMRN is careful to keep IPPS and IPSSs very separate.

f. The MMRN will engage with tertiary sources as a consequence of job, social life and general community involvement. Again, his awareness of the façade means that his engagements for the most part will be benign in nature. Should a tertiary source wound him, he is less likely to lash out at that tertiary source and instead more likely to triangulate the individual through the raising of a complaint to the relevant person.

3. The Upper Mid-Range Narcissist (“UMRN”)

This division of the Mid Range school of narcissism is of considerable intelligence. He also has some reasonable charm. People often mistake the UMRN for a Greater. This is because the UMRN has a degree of sophistication, some charm and some calculation. He is rarely physical with his victims and instead he is a master manipulator through the application of silence. Whether it is a steely gaze, a glacial shoulder or ghosting, the UMRN is able to use the silent treatment to the greatest effect. He instinctively identifies victims who find such treatment of being ignored and overlooked especially disturbing. He is also capable in terms of playing people off against one another. He does not have the tantrum behaviour of the LMRN nor the avoidant tendencies of the MMRN, instead he finds considerable fuel in playing people against one another based on petty insecurities. He will use exclusion from a group, be it work, family or social as the stick by which to bring about compliance. He does not hit, he does not threaten but rather he uses the imposition of silence through exclusion as a major modus operandi to achieving what he requires.

a. The primary source. This is nearly always going to be an intimate partner. His attributes and the fact that he will hold a senior or professional position makes him an attractive prospect. He appears lacking volatility since he has a better hold on his ignited fury than the other schools and divisions mentioned so far. He will have decent financial ability. He relies extensively on the IPPS as other narcissists do, but his reliance is not as great as the other schools and divisions touch on.

b. Familial secondary sources. He is generally well-regarded by his family secondary sources and can command numerous of them for the purposes of support and fuel. He is likely to have made an example of one or two and excluded them from the group and no longer bothers with them. Expect therefore one or two black sheep to exist in the fuel matrix of the UMRN;

c. Colleague secondary sources. The UMRN will have a significant work fuel matrix. The UMRN is less likely to be a business owner as he prefers to be part of a large machine, thus as a senior manager in a corporate setting, a partner in an accountancy practice or an academic in a college or university he is able to interface with dozens of people who he will utilise as secondary sources. The majority will regard him in a benign manner, but he will have made one or two enemies within the workplace, again arising from his ability to freeze people out;

d. Social secondary sources. The  UMRN will have the largest social circle of all mid-rangers but it is still not extensive. Work and family provide the bulk of his secondary sources and socially he will have numerous outer circle friends (often drawn from work) perhaps around a dozen and only say two or three inner circle friends who are likely to be long-standing in nature. Outer circle friends will also be lost from time to time through his exclusionary behaviours.

e. IPSSs. The UMRN is capable of operating two or more IPSSs should the need arise. He will carefully keep them separate from one another, deploying the assistance of Lieutenants in ensuring that they do not find out about one another until after the event or if he decides there is something to be served in such triangulation, but this is rare. He has the sophistication and attraction to keep several plates spinning and once people learn about such Casanova behaviour they would be rather surprised by such a revelation;

f. The UMRN knows numerous tertiary sources. He interacts with them as a consequence of his varied involvement in the community, socially and through work. He is most mindful of the efficacy of the façade and therefore is mainly pleasant and benign in his interactions with them as he wishes to remain well thought of. If a tertiary source displeases him, he will not lash out, but again will request their removal as waiter or a change of post man etc from the relevant powers that be.

Part Three examines the Fuel Matrix of the Greater school of narcissism.

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A VERY ROYAL

Over a year ago, Prince Harry married Meghan Markle who is now known as the Duchess of Sussex. Just prior to their wedding I wrote A Very Royal Narcissist which identified from the evidence available many determinative factors demonstrating that a narcissist was about to marry in to the Royal Family.

A year has passed since then and with such a prominent individual it is very worthwhile placing the Duchess under the TudorScope once more to ascertain whether the initial determination was incorrect or whether her behaviours underline and affirm the first determination. There is a plethora of information that can be utilised and in the interests of brevity and accessibility I have not used everything that available and therefore if certain examples and instances are not included, that is why.

Before we embark on the analysis let me make something clear for the Hard of Understanding. This is nothing to do with race. It is about narcissism. Not because the Duchess identifies as biracial through having black and white relatives. It is irrelevant whether she is white, black, yellow or a mixture. Narcissists are white, black, brown, yellow, male, female, transgender, straight, gay, bisexual, religious, not religious – we come in many different packages. This is focussed on narcissism and not race, so if you try and make it about race not only have you missed the point, you are also making yourself look stupid.

Furthermore I know there are other narcissists in the royal family (they will get their turn under the Tudorscope worry not) so you do not have to keep piping up about that. Miss Markle is prominent and therefore a very worthwhile subject to enable people to understand more about narcissism.

With those points established, let’s get down to some analysis. I would also recommend that you read The Empathy Cake because this will help you place the behaviours in a context viz a viz empaths, empathic people and normal people. Where narcissistic indicators are identified, they are listed after each example of behaviour.

Something Smells Off

The marriage ceremony (like may others before, along with funerals) took place at St George’s Chapel. Miss Markle requested that atomisers be used throughout the chapel for the purpose of removing the apparent musty (but not unpleasant) smell. It is an old building and therefore has such a smell. Her request was deemed inappropriate. Even when this was pointed out to her, she maintained that she wanted the atomisers placed there. One might overlook not realising it was inappropriate, but then the following insistence is an indicator of narcissistic behaviours.

Sense of Entitlement

Poor Boundary Recognition

Tiara Trouble

The Queen apparently had to have stern words with her grandson, Prince Harry in the lead-up to his wedding, after both he and Meghan were upset that she could not wear the tiara she initially picked out from the royal treasury. According to reports, Meghan wanted to wear a tiara studded with emeralds, but because the provenance was not known, the royal family refused. Such refusal is done with good purpose as if the provenance is not known this could cause potential future embarrassment to have jewels of dubious provenance paraded by a member of the Royal Family.

There was a very heated exchange that prompted the Queen to speak to Harry, as a consequence of this failure to follow Royal Protocol. Remember, Miss Markle was well aware that she was marrying into an established institution which has protocols, standards and responsibilities. It is the Queen who selects the tiara but both Miss Markle and Prince Harry tried to alter that. It is evident, from the first article, that Prince Harry’s demand arose from wanting to please Miss Markle given her evident influence over him.

The Queen stated ‘Meghan cannot have whatever she wants. She gets what tiara she’s given by me.’

The message from the Queen was very much Meghan needed to think about how she speaks to staff members and be careful to follow family protocols.

Sense of Entitlement

Triangulation

Poor Boundary Recognition

 

Staff Turnover and Operation

Problems have arisen with regard to the relationships with staff and the turnover of staff. Now there are always going to be changes in personnel and doubtless certain pressures associated with a demanding and high profile situation will also result in such changes, however, what is noteworthy are the number of resignations, the short period of time held by these people in their positions and the comment which has surround them. This evidences a pattern. Consider this, how often will a narcissist have a haphazard employment history and/or a string of failed relationships yet when this is pointed out, the narcissist will always declare that it was the fault of the others and not the narcissist. Such numbers however speak for themselves and even more so, with the comments allied to them.

 Meghan’s personal assistant resigned “suddenly” after just six months on the job. Other resignations within the Kensington Palace team include Samantha Cohen, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex’s private secretary, Edward Lane Fox, Prince Harry’s private secretary and Kensington Palace senior communications secretary Katrina McKeever, who left the team in September.

The Duchess has been known as the Duchess Difficult by the palace staff since she got married. It is well-known how her staff kept leaving due to her difficult behaviour (which is very unlikely for the members of the royal family). Four resignations in less than one year were no small thing.

Following such losses of staff, it is clear that Prince Harry and the Duchess were mindful of risking further losses in staffing (and the impression this creates) and therefore opted to manage matters more directly and did not hire a nanny right after the birth of their son..  Meghan Markle wanted to do everything by herself for her new born son. She would not even allow her mother Doria to hold the baby in her absence. Hence, appointing a nanny seemed out of question.

Following this period, Harry and the Duchess have now hired a nanny whose name has not been disclosed yet. Unlike Prince George, Princess Charlotte, and Prince Louis’ live-in nanny Maria Borrallo who is a graduate of the famous Norland College, Archie’s nanny does not have any such background. Maria Borrallo also travels with the royal family whenever they take children along. Also, this nanny will have a day job and leave in the evening. Weekends will also be days off for her.

As much as the press is eager to see Archie’s pictures, they are also curious to know about his nanny. Maria Borrallo is almost as famous as Prince George as she was always seen by his side. However, this time it will be different. Prince Harry and Meghan Markle are very private when it comes to their new born Archie. His birth announcement was also not made in the traditional way. The nanny is not allowed to speak publicly about her role. According to the royal commentator and author Katie Nicholl, the nanny is also supposed to sign an extensive nondisclosure agreement.

It is interesting to see how the damaging impression that has arisen as a consequence of these losses in staff has then resulted in the exertion of greater control and the management of appearances through the differing approach with regards to the nanny to the Duke and Duchess’ son.

Haughty Behaviour

Lack of Empathy

Sense of Entitlement

Exertion of Control

Façade Management

 

Use and Dispose

The broadcaster Piers Morgan has criticised the Duchess of Sussex describing her as “a piece of work” and comparing her behaviour to that “of a Kardashian” as opposed to a member of the royal family. It is always entertaining to have one narcissist comment on another. We should not pay so much attention to the language used by Mr Morgan but rather the behaviour he described.

Morgan said he felt “conned by the Duchess, claiming that he was with her before she met the Prince Harry for the first time and never heard from her again because “she’d met someone more important”.

“I had a bad experience with Meghan Markle, I’ve talked about it a lot,” Morgan said.

“I’m afraid, she’s a bit of a piece of work,” he added, arguing that Markle “drops people as soon she gets someone more important in her life”.

Morgan went on to explain how he disapproves of the way the Duchess “treats her family”, pointing out that none of them, bar her mother, Doria Ragland, were present at her wedding.

“I was of use to her when it suited her,” he explained. “I was conned by her, I thought she was nice, I thought she was a nice person.

“I put her in the cab to meet Harry, never heard from her again, she met somebody more important and that was it, gone, bang, ghosted.”

Morgan, a narcissist himself, responds to this shelfing behaviour with a suitable provocative complaint and accompanying Pity Play. Nevertheless, just because he complains of the behaviour the fact of it occurring underlines that typical narcissistic behaviour of not showing accountability in a social relationship and using it as a means to an end, having no empathy for the feelings of the other person in that relationship.

Morgan is not the only person to complain of such treatment.

Following her split from former husband Trevor Engelson, Miss Markle became friendly with a television personality, Lizzie Cundy. Miss Markle wanted a new man and said that she had two firm conditions, firstly he had to be English and secondly he had to be famous, according to Cundy. Cundy explained that she assisted Markle with regard to potential involvement with football Ashley Cole and X-Factor Matt Cardle but once Miss Markle began dating Prince Harry, Cundy found she was dropped by Miss Markle and offered just comfort crumbs with regard to their supposed friendship.

Sense of Entitlement

Lack of Accountability

Grandiosity

Lack of Empathy

Shelfing

Wimbledon Woe

Recently, the Duchess attended the tennis competition at Wimbledon and more evidence arose with regard to her behaviour and what it signifies.

In the photo below, a man who appears to be a royal bodyguard can been seen approaching a man holding his phone. The man holding the phone was 58-year-old Hasan Hasanov, who was accused of invading the Duchess of Sussex’s privacy when he took a selfie in front of the royal during the match.

Photo credit: Getty Images

Hasan insisted that he didn’t know Meghan was there when he stopped to take the selfie. “I honestly couldn’t really care less about taking a picture of Meghan, Harry or any of the royals—and, if I did, I’d ask first,” he said. “I was much more interested in getting a video of Roger Federer in action.” The fact that it was assumed that Mr Hasanov wanted to take a picture of the Duchess might be regarded as grandiosity, however being a public figure it is not unreasonable to expect this to happen and therefore it was an understandable mistake. The manner in which the bodyguard was dispatched and the Duchess’ failure to intervene (one can see how close she is to Mr Hasanov) demonstrates a degree of haughtiness and also the contradictory behaviour often evident with such figures ‘You must take pictures of me except when I decide you cannot.’

The Wimbledon woe did not end there. The Duchess created problems with regard to attending wearing jeans and failing to watch a Brit play tennis. There appears to be other unspecified behaviour which resulted in a Wimbledon official stating “It was a nightmare, she was a nightmare,” the Wimbledon official. While that official didn’t elaborate as to what was meant by that statement, another source reportedly claimed, “She wanted to come incognito but there were problems. They couldn’t invite her into the royal box because she was wearing jeans but that didn’t really matter because all she wanted to do was come and watch Serena Williams. Andy Murray was on Court 1 afterwards and it was a massive faux pas not to watch a Brit when she is signed up to the Royal Family.”

Sense of Entitlement

Poor Boundary Recognition

Contradictory Behaviour

The Bananas of Empowerment

Miss Markle visited One25, a Bristol, UK charity which supports female sex workers who are trapped in cycles of poverty, violence and addiction. Miss Markle assisted making packed lunches for the sex workers. Wearing an expensive Oscar De La Renta dress, Miss Markle wrote with a Sharpie on the bananas phrases such as “you are strong”, “you are brave”, “you are loved.”

A sex worker stated, “people out here struggle to eat and sleep and she gifts us some words on a piece of fruit”.

There is no doubting that the Duchess meant well through this gesture, but this is the instinctive and unaware behaviour associated with Mid Range Narcissists, namely they think they are doing something good but cannot actually see (because their narcissism blinds them) to how crass and unempathetic their behaviours are.

What drove this act of charity was the unconscious narcissism whereby it was predicated on a lofty position she sees herself as holding. Her words are special, motivating because after all, surely the sex worker could regard themselves as strong, brave, loved but that will not turn around matters for them. No, the words must come from a ‘higher power’ namely the Duchess because her words matter. The Duchess does not realise this manifestation of the narcissism.

She of course believes that her gesture was well-intentioned , but failed to realise how condescending and ultimately pointless her act was.

In addition, in the footage of this act, you can see Prince Harry immediately recognises this is a bad move but he does nothing other than look on as the crass moment unfolds. After all “What Meghan wants, Meghan gets” as his own words come back to haunt him. Her failure to pick up on his discomfort is a further indicator.

Grandiosity

Magical Thinking

Lack of Emotional Empathy

 

MeAgain Label

Whilst the media relish giving people labels, this happens because there is a basis for them. There are plenty of examples of this Ralph ‘Five Times A Night’ Halpern, John’ two Jags’ Prescott,  Doris Day ‘The Professional Virgin’, Aretha Franklin ‘The Queen of Soul’, Madonna ‘The Queen of Pop’ and so on. The fact the Duchess is known as MeAgain demonstrates that there has been repeated recognition of self-absorbed behaviour and self promotion by many others.

Grandiosity

Self Entitlement

Pregnancy Promenade

Naturally a mother to be is proud of the baby she is carrying, but the bump/pregnancy will be used by a narcissist for the purposes of gaining fuel and exerting control. The Duchess was repeatedly filmed and photographed touching her bump, cradling the bump, flicking her coat open to ‘reveal’ the bump and accentuating it. This exaggerated cradling and posing was witnessed many times including at the British Film Awards, the Mayhew Animal Home visit, Brinsworth Care Home and at Admiralty House in Sydney, to name but a few.

Not keeping the bump under flowing maternity dresses like previous royal mothers to be, but a parade of tight clothing allied with stances/gestures to highlight the bump and adopting entirely unnatural poses (contrast how Kate Middleton stood/presented) and this, taken in context with all of the other behaviours in this article and the previous one tell a further story of narcissistic behaviour.

Sense of Entitlement

Fuel Seeking

Triangulation

Changing of the Ring

Miss Markle received a stunning engagement ring from Prince Harry after he popped the question in November 2018. The Duchess of Sussex, showed off her huge sparkler in a BBC TV interview and for her official engagement photos. Since then the  piece of jewellery has been flashed by the duchess on numerous royal outings.

Meghan flaunted the ring at Trooping the Colour in June when she also showed off a new pavé diamond eternity ring, believed to be a present from her husband.

There has been a major change to her engagement ring less than two years after Meghan first slipped it onto her finger.

This is interesting as her original ring  was designed by Prince Harry himself and includes two diamonds from his late mother Princess Diana.

Editor-in-chief of Majesty Magazine Ingrid Seward stated “I find it a bit odd Meghan would want to alter a ring that her husband had especially designed for her.

“A royal engagement ring is a piece of history not a bit of jewellery to be updated when it looks old fashioned.”

Meghan has altered the band despite Harry saying “yellow gold” was her favourite.

Speaking at the time of their engagement, Prince Harry said: “The ring is obviously yellow gold because that’s her favourite and the main stone itself I sourced from Botswana and the little diamonds either side are from my mother’s jewellery collection, to make sure she’s with us on this crazy journey together.”

Meghan added: “Everything about Harry’s thoughtfulness and the inclusion of Princess Diana’s stones and obviously not being able to meet his mum, it’s so important to me to know that she’s a part of this with us.”

Having played on such importance at the time (when of course it suited during the seduction period) the necessity to assert control through an alternative method has resulted in altering a ring (something which is highly unusual in itself – not including altering it so it fits) and trampling over the feelings of her husband. It is not a surprise to find Miss Markle previously looking to emulate Princess Diana and once embedded removing this particular trace of the deceased Princess.

Sense of Entitlement

Contradictory Behaviour

Exertion of Control

Lack of Emotional Empathy

There are plenty of other instances, including clashes with Kate Middleton, the refurbishment of Frogmore House and Harry’s failure to attend the memorial service to 11 marines (he is Colonel in Chief of the marines) and instead go to the Lion King Premiere instead with the Duchess. There is plenty more evidence available which contains similar instances of grandiosity, poor boundary recognition, haughtiness and a lack of emotional empathy. The gift keeps on giving.

It is evident based on the original article and the multitude of indicators highlighted from the above behaviours that the Duchess if very much A Very Royal Narcissist.

KTN Poll - H.G Wants To Know Post Graphic

 

Hello,

Today’s poll concerns what was the response of third parties to you explaining about your entanglement with a narcissist? It is highly likely that you have told somebody about what has happened to you once you learned that you were involved with a narcissist. It might have been a family member, best friend, colleague, neighbour, therapist or doctor. When you sat down with this person and explained that your partner, sister or mother was a narcissist and what this meant, what was the reaction of the listener?

Did he or she try to make excuses for that person’s behaviour, suggesting it was down to something else or did they dilute what it really was? Perhaps they rejected it out of hand and even went so far as to suggest you caused the problem and the other person was not a narcissist? Did they challenge you suggesting you did not know because “you’re not a doctor” or did they drink it all in and become supportive. Perhaps they joined you in going down the rabbit hole and began to read up on the matter also?

You may choose more than one answer before submitting your vote(s).

The response of a third party to being told you have entangled with a narcissist is an interesting one since it combines existing knowledge or ignorance, personal bias based on perceptions of the speaker and/or the narcissist, willingness to become embroiled in a ‘dispute’ and pre-conceived ideas.

Please expand on your experience in the comment section – how did the response make you feel? Who did you speak to? Did you try to change their response at all?

Thank you for contributing.

 

How did other people react to you explaining about your experience with a narcissist?

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H.G Tudor - Manipulated e-book cover

Manipulated. An excellent book and as one reader stated that for anyone involved with a narcissist, a must! This superb book has just had its cover updated and jolly sexy it looks too, I am sure you will agree.

The Tudor Tomes are all getting an update into this ‘house style’ and with so many glowing reviews, it is important to ensure that prospective readers and seekers of freedom have access to my work and of course the best possible plaudits come from you, the readers.

With that in mind this is your chance to appear on the cover of the revamped books as per Manipulated above. If you would like to be on the cover, this is all you need to do :-

  1. Review one or more of my books. Either use and existing review or even better add a new one to a title you have not yet read or not yet reviewed.
  2. Submit a screenshot of your reviews to my at narcissist1909@gmail.com
  3. Confirm whether you want a name to appear with the review and if so, which name
  4. The best one for each book will be selected and appear on the cover.

So get writing and submitting, after all, appearing beneath my name on my books is probably the closest you would ever want to get to me!

My appreciation in advance.

HG Tudor

JANE CHAPMAN

What is Jane Chapman?

Standard Empath? Empathic but not an empath? Middle Mid Range Narcissist?

What is Jane Chapman

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A LETTER TO THE - ase

 

Letter to the Mid-range narcissist.

 

I will never be able to forget the day when you as you set in motion your empathic supernova detonation scheme. I searched your face for anything that could resemble caring, only to find your delight and satisfaction. A man fully fuelled by my devastation also eager to slip away to the arms of your secret lover. You were remarkably successful, triggering explosions and implosions including uncontrollable trembling that lasted days. Our life together built upon stories and excuses dissolved away leaving only rubble of facts in the wake of the wreckage as my world came tumbling in.

 

A search for an explanation to your rapid 180° shift and undeniable delight in my pain led me to the words “discard and replace.” For the first time, I found an explanation for the behaviours that had beleaguered me for over a decade. That first peek into our reality, so different from my flowery belief, yet so obvious to my intuition.

 

You are a master at blame shifting, plausible deniability, future faking, triangulation, word salad, and gas lighting. Although I struggled to accept the truth, dependable cycles of narcissist behaviour remained irrefutable and could no longer be denied.

 

Thank you to your Dirty Empath Marriage Breaker who kept you distracted while I built my new life. We both know that she could never replace …. Me. How disappointing it must have been for you that I avoided triangulation.

 

Thank you for the long cold fury silent treatments, which allowed me to interact with others and reset my expectations. Those long pauses made your behaviour much more irrational each time you hoovered.

 

Truly, thank you for wanting to keep a reputation as the “good guy,” which kept you  following the law and covering my expenses until I recovered from illness and found a new job. That support may have exposed me to further provocations, but it was a life line that I appreciated tremendously.

 

I thank you for the malicious hoovers, which helped me to separate you  from the person you pretended to be during our golden periods. You once said something important. You said that I am not a victim, which both thrilled and terrified you. I suppose that this was the differentiator in our end game.

 

In closing, I address not you but instead the golden period ghost: my former best friend, the man I once thought you were, who would want to see me thrive, and revel joyfully in the triumph over you. It’s time to close this chapter. I did it Baby!

 

Good-bye,

 

Anonymous Super Empath

golden 4

You are never immune to our kind. You will ALWAYS be susceptible to us because of your innate addiction to our kind. You cannot remove it and thus you will not achieve immunity. You must therefore always be resisting.

You can don the armour to protect yourself as fashioned through my works, but that armour does not give you permanent invulnerability. All armour must be updated, maintained and checked otherwise the shield splits, the chainmail links weaken and the breastplate shatters more readily.

If you think that you are immune to us, you are succumbing to emotional thinking. It wants you to think that you are immune because if that is what you think, then guess what you will do? You will either want to test your immunity or you will believe that you can engage with us in some way and therefore you are doing precisely what your emotional thinking wants you to do. It wants you to engage with us and it will find whatever way it can to make you do that.

You are not immune. You may very well be able to take a telephone call from us and not react to what we say you may even feel nothing for us – no pity, no love or no hate. That time. You may be able to take that second telephone call from us and feel the same way, but because you are not immune, the more you engage with us – whether this is thinking about us, talking about us, spending time with us – you will eventually fall prey to your emotional thinking to a greater extent.

The very fact you are engaging with us when you think that you are immune, means that your  emotional thinking is working, because of course logic would tell you that you have no need to engage with us. Why then are you doing it? Because I want to show myself I will not react, I will not get drawn back in. That is emotional thinking. You are engaging with us and several things arise from this which are problematic. They may not appear problematic to you, because during that telephone call you feel in control, you did not get upset, you do not feel anxious any more, you do not feel anything for us, but you are creating problems.

  1. You will be providing us with fuel. It may be minimal but it will be there because you will not be able to maintain a neutral and flat tone throughout a conversation. Yes, you may be able to achieve this for a very short time and yes, you may not be giving much fuel, but it is there all the same. Thus, we are getting something we want.
  2. You are not rejecting us. By speaking to us you have signalled that you will answer the phone and engage. You may not be enthusiastic but you answered nevertheless. This provides us with encouragement.
  3. You are feeding your addiction and therefore your emotional thinking will want more and in its insidious way it will con you by telling you that you handled the call without any difficulty (it feels like this of course but it is not the case) and thus it will encourage you to do so again or encourage you to attend that social event where you know we will be there because you remain confident of being able to handle the situation. All you are doing is allowing the addiction to be fed and for the emotional thinking to surge until it overwhelms you (and it will) at a future point.
  4. You may well be feeding us useful information in the course of the conversation which we can use to our advantage.

Accordingly, by thinking you are immune and therefore thinking you can engage safely with us, you are creating risks and problems.

You have no need to engage with us.

You have no need to test your immunity because you are not immune. Understand this.

Instead, you can build your resistance. You are resistant but not immune. Some of you have a very low resistance, others far higher, but whichever it is, this resistance, just like the functioning of your own resistance to disease, can erode and weaken. The easiest way for this to happen is by repeatedly exposing yourself to engaging with us. The more you do so, you do not build your resistance but you weaken it. Of course, as I have explained above, you think you are becoming more resistant because you have an encounter with us and you walk away head held high thinking you handled it well. Superficially, yes, but beneath the surface, the problems I have detailed above are forming, waiting and growing ready to ensnare you.

By obeying this golden rule, you will avoid the complacency and risk which comes with thinking you are immune. Instead you will recognise you have resistance, you will understand that his resistance can be made stronger and can also be made weaker, so that with that logic defence established in your mind, you will work harder to avoid complacency and the problems that come with that.

Some of your resistance will be innate, but the majority of resistance is that which is learned and applied. You increase your resistance through reading and understanding, through the imposition of a solid no contact regime, by applying a rigorous purging of the emotional infection so it is driven to the lowest level and by the building of Logic Defences. Combining all of those elements will heighten your resistance, minimise weakening it, reduce the risk of using your resistance unnecessarily (which is of course a consequence of the impact of emotional thinking) and means that when a hoover happens to get through unexpectedly, that when you have those ‘bad days’ when you pine for us, your resistance will not be found wanting and you will repel the hoover, you will reject the emotional thinking which is straining to make you contact us and you will ensure that your resistance remains intact. Do not voluntarily test it, that is giving in to emotional thinking and taking an unnecessary risk – save its strength for when it is really needed because those moments will indeed come.

By applying the cornerstone elements from the paragraph above, their maintenance becomes easier, more natural and more instinctive and thus less arduous for you. You do not need to maintain a state of heightened vigilance, for that becomes draining, you will create a more-readily maintained defensive regime. Doing so little and often becomes far easier than a sudden overhaul when it is too late, which is invariably when complacency has already become the traitor who is unlocking the castle gates.

You are not immune.

You are always resisting.

Remember this and that resistance will achieve freedom and maintain it.