How would you like to be on the receiving end of The Devil’s Pitchfork? It is sharp, cutting and naturally three-pronged, so that’s not one wound, not two, but three. Fancy that? Yes?
Of course not.
Yet that is what you are going to get if you continue to engage with us. You will receive at least one of those prongs and probably all three, either way you get hurt, you suffer, you lose.
Would you willingly allow yourself to be stabbed or impaled by a pitchfork or trident? No, you would not. Yet you allow this to happen through the metaphoric Devil’s Pitchfork because of continued engagement with our kind, narcissists.
What are those prongs?
What else? If you engage with a narcissist you are highly likely, but not always, going to give us fuel. I will provide you with some scenarios below demonstrating instances where there is fuel provision and where it is absent, owing to engagement with the narcissist. This is the First Prong of The Devil’s Trident.
If you give us fuel, we are winning which means you are losing. Why? Because
a. You are giving us the very thing that we want and need;
b. You are reducing out unease from the lurking chasm and The Creature within;
c. You are making us feel more powerful;
d. You are increasing the risk of a future hoover.
Therefore if you are impaled by the First Prong, you lose and we win.
2. Adverse Consequence
If you engage with a narcissist you run the significant risk of an adverse consequence. Again, like fuel, this Second Prong may not always arise out of the engagement but is more likely to than it is not to.
This adverse consequence might be :-
- The narcissist insulting you and thus upsetting you;
- The narcissist triangulating you by flirting with someone else and making you feel worthless
- The narcissist issuing a word salad making you feel confused and bewildered
- The narcissist punching you causing physical injury
- The narcissist withholding money from you, impacting on your daily life and possibly that of your dependents
- The narcissist promising to call but failing to do so, hurting you through this future faking
- The narcissist referring to past act you have committed making you feel embarrassed by dragging up the past
- The narcissist ignoring you and staring at the television, confusing you and hurting you through this present silent treatment
- The narcissist standing you up for a date, angering you, through an absent silent treatment
You know of the hundreds of different forms of manipulation that can occur and the downsides that arise from them ranging from the mild to the terrible.
If you do not engage with us, how can you be insulted, ignored, triangulated etc? By engaging you run the (significant) risk of being impaled on the Second Prong.
When you suffer an adverse consequence, you lose.
3. Increased Emotional Thinking
Emotional Thinking a.k.a. The Enemy Within.
The very thing that wants you to keep engaging (and thus keep getting impaled).
Every time you engage with us, you WILL increase your emotional thinking. This is the one prong that ALWAYS impales. The only way to avoid it, is to not engage. If you engage with us in some way then you will increase your emotional thinking which means you will not follow logic, you will take action and decisions which are contrary to your best interests, you will continue your ensnarement, you will make the application and maintenance of your no contact regime far more difficult and you will keep being impaled by The Devil’s Pitchfork.
You must reduce your emotional thinking in order to Get Out and Stay Out. If you keep engaging with us, you will not achieve this and you will never achieve freedom.
When your emotional thinking rises, you lose.
By engaging you ALWAYS get impaled – it might be one prong, it might be two prong and often it will be all three prongs.
Let’s have some examples.
- The narcissist telephones you and you answer. The narcissist is pleasant and doles out some compliments, some charm and is benign. You are pleased and respond accordingly.
Prong One – you provide fuel. You lose, we win.
Prong Two – no adverse consequence occurs.
Prong Three – you are engaging, your emotional thinking therefore increases. You lose.
2. The narcissist turns up at your house demanding to speak to you because you have told his IPPS about your ongoing affair with the narcissist. You open the door and stand on the doorstep arguing with him.
Prong One – you shout, hurl insults, wave your arms around and get mad. You provide fuel. You lose, we win.
Prong Two – the narcissist issues threats, smashes a plant pot and hurls horrible insults. You are frightened by this. You suffer an adverse consequence. You lose.
Prong Three – your emotional thinking rises. You lose.
3. You are sat looking at pictures of the narcissist and wondering what the narcissist is doing and who he is with.
Prong One – no fuel is being provided.
Prong Two – you become upset thinking about the narcissist . You suffer an adverse consequence. You lose.
Prong Three – you are increasing your emotional thinking because this is a form of engagement. You lose.
4. You are spending time going around telling family and friends, the neighbours and the local homeless guy all about the nasty ways of the narcissist.
Prong One – no fuel is being provided by this act (however it is likely that these people will tell the narcissist what you are doing which will provide some fuel) Delayed win for us.
Prong Two – those listening may disagree with you, may disparage you, pass unfavourable opinion about what you are doing which angers/upsets/hurts/frustrates you . You suffer an adverse consequence. You lose.
Even if this does not happen, there is a risk the narcissist will learn about what you are doing and will retaliate which will generate an adverse consequence. You lose.
Prong Three – you are talking about and thinking about the narcissist, so you will increase your emotional thinking. You lose.
5. You throw battery acid over the prized car of the narcissist severely damaging it.
Prong One – no fuel is provided at the time if the narcissist is unaware. If the narcissist sees you doing it, fuel is provided. If the narcissist learns of it after the event, the narcissist will gain some Thought Fuel. We win/you lose.
Prong Two – you may face criminal charges, you may have to pay for the damage to be repaired, the narcissist may confront you and attack you. There is an adverse consequence. You lose.
Prong Three – you have increased your emotional thinking by acting in relation to the narcissist and thinking about the narcissist. You lose.
If you think about some form of engagement with the narcissist you will see (if you are using logic) that one or more of those prongs will impale you.
This is to be avoided.
This is why that whatever you may try to tell yourself, justify or advance as a reason, there is NEVER any good that will arise from the interaction with a narcissist because of The Devil’s Pitchfork.
To avoid it, you must control your emotional thinking and to do that you must impose a rigid and robust no contact regime.
Want to know how to do that?
Read my work and apply it and especially utilise these options
Zero Impact Assistance Package
Get Out, Stay Out Consultation