Little Acorns

My kind and me are growing in number and it is all your fault. You have created a generation of people who truly believe they are special (and believe me they are not). They have an unshakeable sense of entitlement. They believe they are above criticism. Look at television programmes such as the X Factor and (insert country name’s) Got Talent. You have thousands of people (usually young) who really believe they can sing, dance and entertain. The level of delusion is so great it even forms at least two episodes at the start of every series where the thick-skinned fool as ridiculed as they caterwaul through another Whitney Houston song or they bounce around the stage like a maimed walrus. Yet they argue and they cry and they back answer the judges because they have been told they can sing. Their family paid for dancing lessons from a top choreographer. Sorry but you cannot polish a turd.

Social media gives a platform to the mundane. Look at me, here is what I ate, here is a picture of my new shoes. Look at this trout pout. Me, me and more me. In sports, every member of the team receives a trophy for being special. Nonsense. Winners win trophies. You do not by just turning up.

Lacking on the looks front? Not a problem. If you have the cash (and if not well beg, borrow or steal it) you can remove the fat, iron out the lines, straighten the buck teeth and convince yourself you are devastatingly beautiful. L’Oreal tells you that you are worth it. My ass you are.

Every child is told, too often, they are special. They believe the hype and my goodness me, don’t we know it. Demands for special treatment based on no discernable talent? Failed to make the grade? Oh don’t bother to study, hire a lawyer and sue. It’s the school’s fault they failed to harness your special creativity.

You enable this charade to go unchecked and with it you are creating wave after wave of mini-mes.

Thankfully there is a solution. I will soon cut them down to size. There’s only room for one ultimate champion here and that vacancy was filled along time ago. By me.