You exploded into my world. Your voice, your presence…. I have never felt anything like it. I wanted you and had to have to you… I knew in that moment that you would be my saviour, but also my destroyer.
You captivated me. You intoxicated me. You were different, unique… you were lost, broken, and so sweet. You opened up, you became my world… I was infatuated, I was caught, I was captured, I was lost.
I struggled with our reality. My reality. I used you…… you were broken and I knew that. I was broken too. We melded, we escaped reality together…. I had no regard for the consequences…. limerence… being high, being out of control and in love.
I warned you to not get close. I warned you to not idealise me. I warned you not to put me on a pedestal. But you did… I knew what your dangers were and I fell anyway…. for you….
I took you to the highest of highs and the lowest of lows…. consciously…. deservedly…. but you always had the power, and you destroyed me… or I destroyed myself, as you said…. perhaps that’s true…
We were high under the stars…. a never ending jewel of light, on a night I’ll never forget…. we chose a star… I whispered that no matter what we become, that star will always shine for us, and what we are… and what we were…. the star was Vega…. and I still search for it when I look at the skies….
We said no regrets… We said we’d do it all over again if we had the chance…
But I knew what you were.
I knew we’d never have another chance.
But I took it, and grabbed it, and held it close… and I kept turning the pages… knowing how we would end…. knowing it was all a lie… knowing you would smash me into oblivion…
But, oh, how I loved.
Mai x