Dr O, who is now clearly flirting with me (her skirt was two inches shorter than at the previous session) asked me the following question.
“Your neighbour has bought a new car. It is clearly better and more expensive than yours. How do you feel?”
I frowned as I didn’t understand what she meant but I recalled seeing one of my colleagues react when he said he had bought a new suit and then I showed him the label on mine and told him the price tag. He was angry and another colleague told me that he was jealous. Gotcha Doc O, you want me to feel jealous, but I’m no epsilon semi-moron, so I’m not going to say that. Instead I retorted with.
“That would not happen.”
“Why not?” she asked. I also saw her shift her legs to reveal more thigh. The sly fox.
“He cannot afford a car better than mine.”
“How do you know?”
“He just can’t.His job is not as good as mine.”
“It might be,” she countered.
“It’s not.”
“Okay. Let’s say you are right.”
“I am right.”
She paused and made a note in her hardback note pad. Her pen looks elegant. A fountain pen. Most likely Mont Blanc. She has taste.
“Yes. For the sake of this question, let us assume he can afford a better car than yours.”
“It still would not happen.”
“Why?”
“He has not got the style sense to select anything better than my vehicle.”
“Right. Again, for the sake of the question, assume he has both the money and the er style sense.”
“Okay. It still won’t happen.”
“Why not?” She uncrossed her legs and shifted in her seat. She was getting irritated. I could read her that way.
“I would call every prestige car dealer in the city and ensure they would not sell to him.”
“Really?”
I nodded.
“Okay, but again for the sake of the question and I would be grateful if you would just answer it, assume he buys one from another city or a dealer reneges on your agreement and he purchases a better and more expensive car. How would you feel?”
“It’s still not going to happen.”
“Oh come on, how on earth not?”
“No dealer will dare cross me.”
“And if he goes outside of the city?” She leant forward sensing she might have bettered me now.
“How’s he going to get there when I have firebombed his inferior and less expensive motor vehicle?”
Dr O shook her head, scribbled something in her notepad for a moment and then left the room.
Denial. It gets them every single time.