Tag Archives: denial

I’m Too Sexy

I am an accomplished lover. I know I am.I have been told so on many occasions. Plus the noise, the pupil dilations, spasming and orgasmic flush all tell the same story. I know what I am doing and I do it to great effect. My sexual performance is a matter of great pride to me. I look after myself so I have plenty of stamina. I am an expert in studying body language (how do you think I got hold of you in the first place?) and what it conveys. I want to be the best so I will work damn hard to ensure that you enjoy it to the full when we go to bed. I don’t actually enjoy love-making that much. I actually prefer knowing how much what I do thrills you. Not because I want you to feel good, but because knowing I have that power over your reaction to my mouth, to my tongue, my fingers and so on, is intoxicating to me. I strive for perfection and that translates into me giving you the time of your life between the sheets. It also serves the purpose of making you want me with an unrivalled passion. You love how I make you feel, so you want more and thus you attach yourself to me all the more. In fact, so powerful is my sexual allure and performance you will often dismiss other things as inconsequential, just to ensure you get your fix.

Of course, causing you to be addicted to me in this way only serves to empower me so that I will deny you love-making when I want to punish you and upset you. As with all my forms of withdrawal and belittlement, this acts as fuel for me. I have to say however that pushing you away when you reach across the bed or try to unbutton my trousers when I am sat in the living room really is a crushing blow to you. You cannot understand how such a passionate, accomplished lover can now show no interest in you. You try all your tricks to lure me into bed but they will not work. I am the one who ensnares, not you. Remember, it does not matter to me that we don’t make love. I find it a maintenance chore after a time, I would much rather deny it to you and watch you crumble.

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Wrecking Ball

th (7)Dr E wanted to discuss with me the consequences of my behaviour. I agreed to listen. The sneaky head doctor had only gone and obtained testimonies from various people who have apparently suffered at the hands of my kind. I recognised a few of the comments and suspect that he had spoken to people that I know although he denied this. We argued for ten minutes as I demanded that he tell me who he had spoken to but he maintained that the information had been given on the basis of preserving anonymity. I challenged this and explained that if he could not attribute the comments then he had surely made them up. He assured me that he had not. I then told him that these comments were lies. He conceded that he could not confirm the veracity of the comments since he had only heard their side but he asked me, for the purposes of the discussion, to just accept they were accurate. I knew if I didn’t I would have to spend longer with him so I nodded. The first comment was that I was like a tornado that blew in without warning and caused carnage wherever I went. I agreed that I was intense in my desire for somebody but they always enjoyed that. I said I did not understand the reference to carnage. He moved on.

The next comment was that I shattered people’s self-esteem and took away their identity. I laughed at that. How could I take away their identity? I countered that their self-esteem was invariably broken when I arrived and I helped to try and repair it. He jotted down something at this point. Next up was the comment that I trampled over people’s feelings and left them a broken shell.I pointed out that sometimes people could not cope with the fullness of my personality, especially if they were a wallflower. Next up was the observation that I ruined financial stability and had no concept of what belonged to others. I responded by explaining that when you are in a relationship you are meant to share and if they could not handle sharing their property with me then that was their issue and not mine. Dr E ploughed on with comment after comment all essentially suggesting that I caused heartache and destruction left, right and centre. I am pleased to report that I batted back all the observations successfully. He sighed and lowered his clipboard. He paused and then said,

“Last one, you came in like a wrecking ball.”

I just stuck my tongue out to that one.

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Denial of Victory

Dr O, who is now clearly flirting with me (her skirt was two inches shorter than at the previous session) asked me the following question.

“Your neighbour has bought a new car. It is clearly better and more expensive than yours. How do you feel?”

I frowned as I didn’t understand what she meant but I recalled seeing one of my colleagues react when he said he had bought a new suit and then I showed him the label on mine and told him the price tag. He was angry and another colleague told me that he was jealous. Gotcha Doc O, you want me to feel jealous, but I’m no epsilon semi-moron, so I’m not going to say that. Instead I retorted with.

“That would not happen.”

“Why not?” she asked. I also saw her shift her legs to reveal more thigh. The sly fox.

“He cannot afford a car better than mine.”

“How do you know?”

“He just can’t.His job is not as good as mine.”

“It might be,” she countered.

“It’s not.”

“Okay. Let’s say you are right.”

“I am right.”

She paused and made a note in her hardback note pad. Her pen looks elegant. A fountain pen. Most likely Mont Blanc. She has taste.

“Yes. For the sake of this question, let us assume he can afford a better car than yours.”

“It still would not happen.”

“Why?”

“He has not got the style sense to select anything better than my vehicle.”

“Right. Again, for the sake of the question, assume he has both the money and the er style sense.”

“Okay. It still won’t happen.”

“Why not?” She uncrossed her legs and shifted in her seat. She was getting irritated. I could read her that way.

“I would call every prestige car dealer in the city and ensure they would not sell to him.”

“Really?”

I nodded.

“Okay, but again for the sake of the question and I would be grateful if you would just answer it, assume he buys one from another city or a dealer reneges on your agreement and he purchases a better and more expensive car. How would you feel?”

“It’s still not going to happen.”

“Oh come on, how on earth not?”

“No dealer will dare cross me.”

“And if he goes outside of the city?” She leant forward sensing she might have bettered me now.

“How’s he going to get there when I have firebombed his inferior and less expensive motor vehicle?”

Dr O shook her head, scribbled something in her notepad for a moment and then left the room.

Denial. It gets them every single time.

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