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World War Me

There is always a war somewhere raging on the face of this planet. Similarly, there is always a war taking place at some point within my life. I am combat-ready and mobilised for conflict. I know it staggers you just how many people I manage to fall out with. You don’t fall out with people, well only me and that is my doing. Contrast that to my position. When I am devaluing you I am warring with you, laying mines amongst the eggshells in the hope that you will tread on one. I fire my malice missiles towards you, lob a hand grenade of hatred in your direction and pepper you with bullets from my pomposity pistol. At times it is all you can do to pull on your tin helmet and hunker down in the hope of avoiding being hit. Even when I am seducing you it is a form of combat; they do not call it love bombing for no reason.
My list of opponents grows longer day by day. My war with you is established and entering a phase of attrition. I open up a new front against a family member with a barrage of toxic comments which may as well be nerve gas for the effect they have. I launch an ICBM against a colleague and delight as it hits the target and downs them, plunging them into the depths as they lose their job. I even skirmish with the lady in the convenience store. I cannot go anywhere in a peaceful fashion. I must bring fury and upheaval wherever I tread in order to create reaction.
Many a time I have been asked, “What is wrong with you? It is like you are at war with the world,” such is the breadth of those I lock horns with and the ferocity of my behaviour. Ignore me and I hurl daggers towards you, criticise me and I open up with my flame thrower of narcissistic rage, defy me and I launch a thermonuclear assault on you caring not whether it engulfs other people in its all consuming rage.
I am at war with the world. The world owes me and until it recognises me and pays me the adulation I deserve it must be subjugated, attacked and conquered. I fail to appreciate that this war is never-ending as I rip the white flag in two, snap the olive branch and shoot down the dove of peace. I fight on and on even though I know it is a war I cannot win.

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