World War Me

There is always a war somewhere raging on the face of this planet. Similarly, there is always a war taking place at some point within my life. I am combat-ready and mobilised for conflict. I know it staggers you just how many people I manage to fall out with. You don’t fall out with people, well only me and that is my doing. Contrast that to my position. When I am devaluing you I am warring with you, laying mines amongst the eggshells in the hope that you will tread on one. I fire my malice missiles towards you, lob a hand grenade of hatred in your direction and pepper you with bullets from my pomposity pistol. At times it is all you can do to pull on your tin helmet and hunker down in the hope of avoiding being hit. Even when I am seducing you it is a form of combat; they do not call it love bombing for no reason.
My list of opponents grows longer day by day. My war with you is established and entering a phase of attrition. I open up a new front against a family member with a barrage of toxic comments which may as well be nerve gas for the effect they have. I launch an ICBM against a colleague and delight as it hits the target and downs them, plunging them into the depths as they lose their job. I even skirmish with the lady in the convenience store. I cannot go anywhere in a peaceful fashion. I must bring fury and upheaval wherever I tread in order to create reaction.
Many a time I have been asked, “What is wrong with you? It is like you are at war with the world,” such is the breadth of those I lock horns with and the ferocity of my behaviour. Ignore me and I hurl daggers towards you, criticise me and I open up with my flame thrower of narcissistic rage, defy me and I launch a thermonuclear assault on you caring not whether it engulfs other people in its all consuming rage.
I am at war with the world. The world owes me and until it recognises me and pays me the adulation I deserve it must be subjugated, attacked and conquered. I fail to appreciate that this war is never-ending as I rip the white flag in two, snap the olive branch and shoot down the dove of peace. I fight on and on even though I know it is a war I cannot win.

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12 thoughts on “World War Me”

  1. So sad. To be like this. No end. It must be miserable. That is if they had feelings. These people should not be labeled as human. They are only instruments of Satan. Demons taking human form.

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  2. Oh yes, you’re at war with everyone…the waiter who sat us at that table by the kitchen; me for not saying anything when he sat us there, for leaving it to you to (again) say that such a shitty table was unacceptable. You’re at war with the neighbor who threw his snow on your freshly shoveled driveway (it’s May and the snow is long gone, but you’re still at war with him for it); you’re at war with the bank & their overdraft fees. You’re at war with the Tenants Association because they elected someone other than you President (in fact, you’re so mad you’ll move out of the goddamn building over it).

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  3. Oh, how he delighted in doing good deeds for people. He ate up the praise he received, doing good deeds whenever he could. Only I knew that if given the right opportunity and circumstance he’d probably murder those same people he was helping, with zero remorse. He confessed as much to me. I knew how shallow he was. I knew that feelings really didn’t exist within him. He told me so! I pushed to get inside his mind. The highs were brilliant. The lows were miserable. Yet, I allowed it. In some ways I allowed him to think I thought like him, to pull more from him. I was the perfect muse. High powered career in public, in private he would delight in saying to me, “If I wanted to know your opinion I’d ask for it.” So evil, but so delicious at the same time.

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  4. Okay, this reminds me of a question that runs through my mind in many of your posts: do you actually have friends? It is hard to imagine that people want to be buddies, if they have been around long enough to see the string of people coming and going. And going. And going. People sense other people’s aura (or whatever you choose to call it: energy, etc).

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    1. Yes I do have friends. People do want to be friends as I am charming, interesting and entertaining. I have several groups of friends and for the most part I keep them in the seduction period as they serve their purpose well. There are some who come and go but I always have plausible reasons as to why I do not bother with them anymore so that everyone else would not see anything untoward in my jettisoning of this person from my friendship group. Some friends I see regularly, others who are perhaps further away, are seen intermittently or we keep in touch more readily by phone, e-mail and text. As time has passed and I have moved jobs, interests and places I will leave some people behind as they no longer serve a purpose and readily pick up a new group in the new place that I have moved to.

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      1. Why, then HG – if a former female lover obviously likes and continues to care for you due to your charm & likeability – is it always necessary to devalue & discard her? If she offers her friendship to you on an ongoing basis, why isn’t that enough fuel? Isn’t a loyal friend who cares for you more important than the brief amount of negative fuel you’ll get from a discard and a smear?

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      2. The devaluation provides the contrast. It is the contrast against the fuel arising from the golden period. It then provides contrast for the sweetness of the hoover fuel either as respite or preventative hoover (during devaluation) or as a grand or benign hoover following discard.You can’t have one with out the other.

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  5. This is pefectly explained totally perfectly and I say like this because I exactly yesterday had exactly this comversatiom with my mom who is the dove of peace and white flag at the same time. People who are on comflict with the world seem to comcer her alot.
    Yesterday as it was mothers day and a main main ( like a national celebration) event at my part of the world. Obeying to the theory we learn here, yesterday several comflicts exploded in my family members of cousins, aunts and as my mom is the shoulder to cry on of family members from her side and my dads side the she gets all the insightd and she shares with me.
    I have shared with her some of my learnings from HG school. Exactly the people that I suspect have NPD spectrum, exactly those people yesterday created comflict when they saw the limelight would be stolen. And the same people are always in a conflict for everything. Even if its a loose. Exactly like described above and also like a reader Cara described. In fact Cara your mom could be one of my uncles. Its incredible.
    For my mom a dove of peace this is something she liles discussimg and analysing with me and my brothers 😂😂.

    HG great read as always. Monday, coffee plus reading you. Im ready to start the week.
    Have a nice day BBE 😘😘 and a good start to your ⛽️⛽️ Week. 🌔
    Thanks for posting and the learnings and the understanding.

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  6. Here in the states, you’d probably get a cap popped in your ass, for even looking at someone sideways, let alone getting someone fired and yelling at a woman to tears. People go postal here for stuff like that…bullying.. Unless, you yourself, are waving the gun…then you have their full attention.

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