THE RULES OF KNOWING THE NARCISSIST

  1. In order to create an appropriate environment for my interaction with readers, the good doctors and I established The Five Rules which govern the way that I behave with people on the blog. I cannot tell you what those rules are as this would alter the dynamic between us and adversely affect our interactions. The simplest way to describe them is that they are for your benefit. There is no point asking me what they are. I will not tell you.
  2. I am polite, courteous and engaging with nearly everybody I meet (save the occasional tertiary source which I want to obtain negative fuel from). This is replicated in my dealings with my readers. I am polite courteous and engaging. I will point out if you are wrong. I have no need to devalue my readers nor will I do so owing to the 5 rules. If you are out of line, you will be told.
  3. I do not know anybody who comes to the blog in ‘real life’ therefore I have no need to devalue those that come to the blog. Those who comment are tertiary sources. If you are expecting to see my ‘dark side’ in action you are going to be disappointed. You will have to engage with me in real life to witness that. I would not advise you to do so.
  4. Personal attacks against me are just fuel, it is low grade, but it just fuel to me. If you want to do it, go ahead, but you will become bored before I do.
  5. I encourage interesting and articulate debate. The nature of this blog is an emotive subject and strong views are to be expected. I allow people to disagree and to do so in a robust fashion for the purposes of debate. This may mean the occasional insult linked to the comment being advanced. I enjoy debate. However, sustained ad hominem attacks against people do not further debate and those will be moderated and removed. Feel free to advance your opinions, arguments and views and to question other people, do so with force and passion, but do so in a respectful and constructive manner.
  6. Understand that strong views will be advanced and people will disagree with your views as well as support them. Nobody is bullied or ganged up on. Do not bother trying to assert that if you find a significant number of people disagree with you. If you advance a strong view, a controversial view remember it is a view, it is not a solid fact and this means other people are likely to disagree with you and they will debate with you and counter your assertions. They are just as entitled to do this as you were to make your initial assertion. Playing the “I am being bullied card” or “I am being attacked” or “People gang up on me” is factually erroneous and will get short shrift from me.
  7. Contrary to belief I have no interest in people falling out with one another. It is not involving me so therefore I am not interested in it.
  8. You must not post personal information that will allow another person to contact you. I will edit out e-mail addresses, telephone numbers and similar material. If you sign in using your own blog, thus identifying yourself, that is a matter for you and understand you do so at your own risk.
  9. The main purpose of this blog is for you to gain an understanding of the way I think, act and do and also of those like me. I do allow off topic conversations as well, so if you have a pressing need to comment on the latest Netflix drama or a particular pop star, that is entirely acceptable, just so long as you bring it round to me again soon enough. Cooking and bakery discussions are off limits however. Understand that you may not find a topic of interest, if so, do not read it. There is a wide range of people on this blog and some find occasionally levity and off topic discussions a welcome distraction (indeed necessity) from the heavy nature of the topic. Other people find such discussions lightweight and flippant given the serious nature of the topic. Both groups are valid in their observations. You do not have to read ethers views at lengths. Also recognise that the extent to which off topic discussions are allowed or curtailed (pruned) is governed by my availability to moderate (I actually do have plenty of other matters to address) and whether I deem the discussion about pets, clothes or hair styles as getting in the way of a more relevant debate.  Understand this is my blog, it is my house, therefore I govern.
  10. If you must post material produced by other people, ensure that it is appropriately credited to avoid any copyright issues.
  11. You are welcome to post my material elsewhere so long as it is properly credited. You should seek my permission first.
  12. Do make full use of this resource to understand your own situation, to ask questions and further your own progress.
  13. All posts enter moderation as I read everything. Your posts may be in moderation for a period of time, especially if it is a long post and/or contains many questions concerning an element of the narcissistic dynamic, an issue raised in an article etc. Understand I am an Army of One, I have a private life and I receive hundreds of communications every day across various platforms. This takes time to address. There is no favouritism with regard to posts, you have no automatic entitlement to have your comments posted.
  14. If you want my detailed input and insight into your own situation the most appropriate way to do this is NOT in a blog comment but instead to book a private consultation (see the blog menu for more details of these). This allows you to convey your situation in a confidential environment and also allows me to respond in detail and within a set timescale. In this manner you gain the insight you require, I am able to obtain the relevant information from you and also ensure I provide you with the detailed answer I want to convey to you. The blog does not facilitate this. It is important to me that my expertise is conveyed properly. This allows you prompt and details access to my expertise and has been provided pursuant to request. This rule also makes the reading of comments easier and cleaner for other readers.
  15. There is a wealth of material provided on this blog (and also in my books) and you will usually find the answer to your query in this library of useful insight and observation.
  16. Pestering and/or haranguing for your comment to be answered or posted will not endear me to you. Writing “you probably will not post this” or “I dare you to post this” does not provoke me to post it, in fact, you are more likely to cause your comment to be delayed for such passive aggressive behaviour.
  17. This is my house. If you do not like it, you are always free to leave. Nobody will make you stay.
  18. If you have any concerns regarding a comment or the behaviour of another reader, e-mail me at narcissist1909@gmail.com and I will investigate your concerns. If you contact me (like most people do) in a respectful and polite manner, I will address your concerns as promptly as possible. I always have done so for readers.
  19. This is a place of learning, it is a safe environment to do so and it is the world’s leading resource for information and understanding about narcissism. It also does so in a way that is designed to stimulate discussion, invite questions, invite varying views and to be interesting and entertaining. Let’s keep it that way.

 

HG Tudor