Frequently asked questions

I have been asked tens of thousands of questions, on this blog. There are, of course, certain questions which are asked repeatedly and in order to save my fingers and to save you waiting for a response on the blog (and possibly not receiving one because I have answered the question so many times before) here are a number of questions which are frequently asked and my answers to them.


About HG Tudor

I would like to know more about your personal story. Is there a bio or description of you somewhere? Which of your books speak about you?

No, I have not written a bio about me because I prefer for you to form your own impression and view from the various pieces that I write. Moreover, I have written about my life throughout articles and my books.  These pieces give you insight into how I think and behave, but also provide glimpses into my life as well (family, education, treatment, partners, etc).

The books Fuel, Fury, the Confessions of a Narcissist series and the alliterative titles (“Adored and Abhorred”,” Beautiful and Barbaric” etc include passages of my life. There are plenty more revelations to come though.


How old are you?

Old enough to know, young enough to do.


Are you married? Do you have children?

Neither. I was married once.


Do you hate women? Are male narcissists misogynists?

No, I hate everyone equally. All appliances are there to be manipulated, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, religion etc. We are equal opportunity manipulators.


Do you ever genuinely like people you are in relationships with? Do you feel any respect for them or care about them at all?

I like people in a way which is genuine to me, but you would not regard it as genuine as I like them to serve my purposes.
I can exhibit a form of care, such as I protect my assets, but only because again it benefits me. I am not altruistic.


Have you ever pursued another narcissist romantically?

Not to become IPPS, no.


How is it that you have so much self-awareness?

Intelligence, natural ability, discipline, drive, access to information.


How do you have so much insight into people?

Intelligence, natural ability, discipline, drive, access to information, necessity.


Do you believe in God or a higher power?

No, but I do when it suits my purposes.



Do you believe people have souls and, if so, where do you think your soul goes after death? Do you believe in the afterlife? Do you believe in heaven and hell?

No, but I do when it suits my purposes. When you die, that’s it. Game over. There is no afterlife. Unless, as I mentioned, it suits my purposes.


Do you believe in psychic ability or demonic possession and exorcism? Do you believe in the Jezebel spirit?

No, I don´t. Narcissism has nothing to do with those things.


Do you fear death?



Are you struggling with aging?

Not in the slightest.


Do you and your kind ever worry that you will end up alone, that eventually fuel sources will be wary and pull away, and that new ones will not be as exciting or interested? Do narcissists ever settle, or do they keep chasing new conquests until the end? Or nothing of that is a concern?

No, that does not concern me, but there are those of our kind who do have some concerns about this happening. It is not so much the fact that new ones are not as exciting and interested – there are so many potential victims out there, running out of them is not the problem –, the problem is that for some of our kind being able to attract them may become an issue. This is linked to aging and the waning of powers. For more about this, see the two articles Time and the Narcissist.


What is your worldview that makes you want to empower empaths? Why are you doing what you are doing and helping empaths?

Hegemonic domination and omnipotence. I do this because I enjoy writing and have been encouraged to share my knowledge as part of the treatment that has been forced upon me. I like to interact with people, too. I want to be the number one source for the reality of how my kind think and behave. I also find the weaponising of empaths and having them go into battle with my kind entirely in accordance with my worldview.


It seems you were “forced” into therapy. Being a narcissist, how would anyone have the power over you to force you into it? What exactly do you get out of therapy and what is the main purpose of it?

This is part of my manipulation of my family. They wanted me to undergo treatment. I refused. This has happened repeatedly. I wanted to secure my inheritance and I wanted to avoid a regulatory and criminal investigation which, whilst predicated on lies, would be an unwelcome distraction to me. In order to secure those aims, I knew I could do so by entering into therapy. Thus, I am securing what I want by agreeing to the treatment. I, of course, am finding the treatment interesting (after all what is better than to spend an hour or two each week or thereabouts talking about me?) and advantageous in understanding myself. Of course, I explain I was forced to do it as that is the victim in me, something all my kind have.

The main purpose of my treatment is to understand why I am the way I am, what happened to me to create what I am today, how my behaviour comes to be and what effect it has on others, to examine my need for fuel, control, to blame and manipulate and whether that can be addressed in some way, to reconcile the issues which are becoming evident from my childhood and to encourage me to adopt a pattern of behaviour and an outlook which is apparently healthier for all concerned.

The treatment has also led to my writing and this blog, which I enjoy. It has of course allowed me to hone my skills which I am most grateful for. Another win.


Do you manipulate here on the blog?

I have no need to manipulate here, indeed it would run contrary to what I have created and what I wish to achieve.


You are helping people. Do you also strive to help those in your private life?

Only where I see doing so would benefit me.


Do you get fuel from the comments on your blog and elsewhere?

As stated in the About section (, I do not do this for fuel. I do gain some fuel from the comments but, since those who comment are tertiary sources (see the book Fuel for more information on this), it is not significant. I gain far more fuel in my interactions in my private life.


Do you enjoy being a narcissist?

Yes, I do because I am very good at it and it is rewarding.


Have you ever wanted to be an empath and feel joy and love?

I feel joy and love towards me from others. I do not experience them myself and have no need of doing so.


Which is your zodiac sign?



About Narcissists

I think I am with a narcissist. Which of your many books should I start with in order to learn about what I am dealing with?

I recommend a Narc Detector consultation. Also read Manipulated, Fuel and Fury.



I would like to know more about the different types of narcissists you write about (Lesser, Mid-Range, Greater, Elite, Somatic, etc). Where can I find that information?

To understand more about the types of narcissist, I recommend you read the book Sitting Target. You can then work your way through the blog using the search function and read the articles which provide more detailed information on a specific type of narcissist.


How do you identify which school and cadre of narcissist you’re dealing with?
I’ve read already the information on this blog but I still can’t put my finger on which type I’m dealing with.

The best is to do a Narc Detector Consultation with me. Book a Narc Detector Consultation


Can a narcissist change school or cadre?



Do narcissists ever get depressed and/or commit suicide? My narcissist talks about suicide.

Yes, albeit this is rare. See the Suicide Power Play in the book No Contact for more on this.


Do narcissists ever cry without the intention to manipulate? I have seen mine cry and I think it was sincere.

I do not cry but some of our kind do. They cry for themselves because they feel sorry for themselves, not for anybody else.


Does the narcissist hoover if the IPPS left them, cheated on them and even called them out on their narcissism?

The narcissist will hoover if there is a Hoover Trigger (of which there is always a risk) and if the Hoover Execution Criteria (HEC) are met. To know more about Hoover Triggers and the HEC, please read Surely that is the End, Yes? (Will There be A Hoover?)

The factors you refer to :-

  1. Leaving the narcissist – this wounds the narcissist. However, dependent on your position within the fuel matrix and the fuel needs of the narcissist, this is likely to cause the narcissist to apply an Initial Grand Hoover to get you back under control.
  2. Cheating on the narcissist – this wounds the narcissist and pushes the hoover bar upwards.
  3. Accusation of narcissism – this most likely will have been Challenge Fuel and therefore will lower the hoover bar.

There are many factors which are applicable in the HEC, not just the ones mentioned above, which impact on the prospects of being hoovered. I can tell you how one single factor will influence the hoover bar (moving it high or low) BUT that one factor cannot be viewed in splendid isolation. There will be other factors which could override that factor one way or the other.


The best thing to do if you want to know whether a hoover will happen (and what you can do to prevent it) is to consult with me. This is because I need information from you (more than can be conveyed in a comment on the blog) and also because you may not know all of the information you need to give to me for me to give you in return, the accurate answer you need and deserve. This is why I created the consultations, so I can ask you the questions, you can give me full information and then I can give you the most accurate answers and the best assistance you will ever receive.

Book a Consultation Here


What is a Malign Hoover?

It is when the Hoover seeks only to draw negative fuel


Can you make a hoover happen?

Yes, you can. If you want it to happen, you are best designing a way to enter one of our spheres of influence but understand, for the reasons outlined above, it may not happen when you want it to, but it will at some point. After all, in accordance with our total desire for control, we want the hoover to be when we decide, not you.


What would be the response of a Mid-Range Narcissist when reading your blogs?

They would believe the behaviours they read about apply to the true victim and they would likely label that person the narcissist.


About Empaths

Can an empath change schools or cadre?



I don´t know what school and cadre of empath I belong to. I seem to have traits of different schools and cadres. How can I know the school and cadre I belong to?

The easiest way to know is that you organise an Empath Detector consultation with me Book an Empath Detector Consultation



I posted a comment some days/weeks ago and it is still not showing on the blog. What is wrong?

All posts are moderated first, which means that when you post something it will not appear on the blog immediately. This is an interactive blog. Accordingly, I like to read everything and try to respond to all questions that are asked (although time does not always allow me to do so). I also have to ensure nothing gratuitously offensive is posted between commenters, or people include details which will identify them. I get hundreds of comments and questions a day and, since I am an Army of One, posts can remain in moderation for a while, especially if they are long and/or contain questions that require consideration.



34 thoughts on “Frequently asked questions”

  1. Hi HG, I have been in a cult and I was thrown out. I was to much of a pain in the ass of the guru who abused me. I was not that clever to entirely see what was going on till it was to late. Now I see fully he is a narcisist. My mom is still in the cult and it drives me crazy, the more because she does not understand me and my pain. Our relationship is being teared apart and it breaks my heart. Do you have something for her to read that can bring some sense and understanding into her about my situation? And are you available to help me out to get revenge? I wish you would like to write a blog about my story to start with.

    1. Hello and welcome Bloesem, your comment raises several issues which are best addressed through a consultation with me as there is a lot to convey to you and I can also assist you with regard to suggested reading, if that route is a feasible one (something that I would ascertain through consultation).

  2. I’m surprised you ask for money 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 like paying money to a rapist or a criminal to find out how a rapist or criminal thinks or attacks, I hope people like you will soon pay jail for destroy others lives.Im sure it will happen soon ☺️

    1. 1. People are paying for expertise, expertise which has helped hundreds of thousands of people. Read the testimonials (and there are plenty more in my inbox). What are you doing to assist people?
      2. I will not be anywhere near a jail as I am not stupid.
      3. Nobody is making you use the services.

    2. Like paid Police informants? Cyber criminals employed to tighten up the systems for big business and Government? I’d absolutely pay a burglar to show me how to safeguard my home and valuables. Do you represent yourself in court and diagnose your own health conditions? because there are both good and bad in those fields. Paying an proven expert in any field whether you think them good or bad can be advantageous to you if you need the information and can set aside your own prejudice Or you can continue to stumble around in the dark making mistakes that lead you further into the muck because you’re so ethical. Yeah that’ll show them. Your call.

        1. MB
          Ha! I don’t think fucked-up should be on anyone’s list of aspirations. You’re wonderful just the way you are.

          P.S Growing up is overrated.

          1. Thank you NA. I don’t see you as fucked-up at all. I see you as a survivor. Somebody that went to hell and back and came out on the other side kind despite of it all. You’re wonderful just the way YOU are. My hero. Nothing but respect.

            P.S. as far as growing up, I wouldn’t know. I haven’t made it there yet!

  3. “It has of course helped to hone my skills…”

    Meaning your blog has helped you learn even more about how people feel, think and act when manipulated, lied to, and treated poorly, so you can further your purposes with RL interactions?

    1. Honed my skills for the purposes of granting understanding and assistance. I reached the top of my manipulative powers some time ago and have remained there.

  4. Hello H.G.,

    I’ve read many of your books and it helped me out a lot. What I would like to know is how to deal with a female narc, who is residing in the
    same appartment complex as I do. I ignore her completely, but she is the kind of type who cannot handle being ignored. So when ignored, she sometimes blocks my path wanting to vent her opinions, when I incidently walk into her. What is the best way to handle this situation ?Your input is highly appreciated.

    Thanks in advance.

    1. Hello and welcome BC. Unless she physically takes hold of you and prevents you from moving, you just walk away from her. Can you leave the apartment complex at a different time/a different way? The fact she cannot handle being ignored, is of course, the ignition of fury following wounding, but that is her issue, not yours. If you want detailed assistance on this matter I recommend you consult with me.
      Thank you for reading my books.

  5. The ex narc I was dating drove me to do the dirty job and break up with him. It started with the devaluation, silent treatment and ghosting. I eventually discovered he was lying and called him out while breaking up. I see him stalking me on social media but it has been 8 months and no attempt to contact has been made, how will you explain this counter intuitive behaviour?

      1. 1.Will this lead to him eventually contacting me for real? Or are there a certain type of narcissists that are content with passive hoovering?
        2. Why would he hoover if I unmasked him and dumped him unceremoniously? I mean, his ego should have been bruised badly if I called him out on his narcissism right?
        3. His actions never matched his words when we were dating and questioning him on the same would result in blame shifting. this a manipulative tactic too?

        1. 1. Yes, if a Hoover Trigger occurs and the Hoover Execution Criteria are met.
          2. Assuming you did do this (people are often mistaken) there are two points you need to understand
          a. These are just two factors (albeit important ones) within many in the HEC – they do not exist in isolation;
          b. Their effect fades over time.
          3. Yes it is.
          If you want to understand the level of risk you face with regard to being hoovered and more importantly what you can do about it, I invite you to undertake a consultation

          1. Thank You for responding to my comments, appreciate it. Will book a consultation with you soon.

  6. Can a narcissist get treatment and change? It sounds like my ex is doing just that for his new lady. Posting on FB with Empathy quotes.

  7. Do all narcs cheat? I never got solid evidence on mine, but he was withholding sex for two months, before I dumped him.

      1. What do mean by sexual? He could of been cheating by grooming his next supply, or spending more time with an intellectual supply? He did start going out a lot without me and coming home really late, and his phone was always hidden… he would take it with him to the shower, do phone calls in the car and make up weird excuses that he had to charge his car late at night… I think we were in the devaluation stage… but he did buy my a very expensive gift before I dumped him… then cried on the phone when I demanded a closure, and he didn’t give one…. He lied about being out one night, I camped out at his house, and called at 12:00am, he texted back saying he was on a business call and he would call me back. Then I see him pull up to his house at 3am and he FaceTimes me from his house… that’s when I caught him in a first lie…. he only said he was home the entire time, never left… and I said but I just saw you pull up… 😂 lol he deflected cheated and deflected everything… I blocked him and don’t know if he will Hoover, don’t really care, just wanna make sure I didn’t catch an std…

  8. Hello,
    Why is narcissist incapable of loving another person? Is it because they are empty and lack empathy? I read somewhere that narcissists are not in touch with their soul (their true self) and don’t love themselves. So if you think logically, how a person can love another person truly if he or she doesn’t even love and accept himself/herself, right?
    Thank you in advance H.G Tudor

    1. Hello AR,

      1. We have no emotional empathy.
      2. It cannot be learned or injected.
      3. There is no thing such as a soul.
      4. It is not to do with loving oneself (so many people think that narcissist’s hate themselves – that is incorrect). It is to do with control.

      1. I won’t vent my spleen but I will say this- a narc is not the great or the elite, it’s simply a shield from pain. It comes from a lack of real connection and parental bonding. It’s seems like a good deal for the one with narcissistic tendencies, but it’s a great loss. It’s very sad. It can be elevated to a heightened sense of love and self, but this requires extreme bravery. Something the narcissist lacks. “Rock bottom” (inevitable) will be the cure or demise of one with such a disability of narcissism.

          1. They may well still be in moderation, there are a lot of comments there at present as I am rather busy.

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Read and understand all about narcissists from the best source possible. A narcissist himself.

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