The Narcissistic Truths – No. 113

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14 thoughts on “The Narcissistic Truths – No. 113”

      1. Hello, fascinating blog. I am the daughter of a low level narcissist father and a co-dependent mother. I am what you refer to as a “magnetic empath.” I inevitably attracted a high level narcissist. He used me as supply off and on from the ages of seventeen through twenty nine. Over the years I went from performing as secondary source material (triangulation fodder) to primary source material. During the time we lived together I followed my instincts and began tracking his emails after he’d go to sleep at night. I was able to observe my devaluation process in real time. He never missed an opportunity to highlight a weakness or misstep to his “lieutenants” or secondary sources. His catalog of infractions was incredibly petty, but his followers ate it up like candy. He’d report me to them for such crimes as putting a spoon in the fork compartment of the cabinet, leaving cheese on the counter too long – or my “clumsy attempts at seduction”. By reading the emails to his “coterie” I was able to anticipate his machinations. I did not sign over my intellectual property for the video game company we’d started together, and I was able to avoid the “mutual friends” in our circle who were already drinking the Kool aid. That being said, it’s taken me years to reconcile with some of our mutual childhood friends (who for years believed the lie that the narcissist had to leave our relationship due to my* mental illness BPD). His character assassination extended to the American DSM (Diagnostic Statistical Manual). He even tried to find a therapist to stage an intervention and officially diagnose me with BPD. Fortunately, the therapist emailed me directly as this practice went against his personal ethics. These experiences directly motivated my pursuit of a Cognitive Neuroscience education at McGill. I now regard Narcissism as a formerly positive evolutionary enhancement run amok via the Epigenetic Cascade Effect. I believe modern societal shifts facilitate this incubator of pathology. I also believe these tendencies to be either source supply and narc can be traced through genealogies. It is my understanding that genetically, family lines tend exhibit both trends simultaneously (despite the relative rarity of both pathological narcissists and high degree empaths in the population at large)

        My question to you author of this blog is the following: How would you react if your entire coterie was suddenly apprised of your true nature very unequivocally? I’ve entrusted the key to the narc’s fortress of secrets to a mutual friend with extremely high standing in our community, it would not surprise me if the truth came to light sooner rather than later.

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      2. In the unlikely event that happened, I would be confident that many would reject the suggestion. Those that countenanced it would either be won around again or disengaged from.

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  1. HG, how does the lesser, mid range and greater react when they’re told and confronted with the fact that they’re abusive? Think along the lines of a rare moment after the victim has the light bulb go off and can see that what’s just been said or done is pure psychological abuse.

    And by how do they react, I not only mean actual words or excuses given, I’m wanting to know their general thought process – do they agree on some level? Do they totally agree and know but just think it’s justified? Do they totally not see the similarities? Do they agree and hate a part of themselves for being abusive or hurting you, at all ever?

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  2. There was a sleepover at my cousin’s house with all the children and my niece and daughter went. My niece gave all the children lice. My cousin called and asked if MY daughter had lice, I said: “NO.” My cousin told me that my sister (heroin addicted narc) had blamed me for the lice (I was pissed!) and I explained that my niece has had lice before. Later on my narc cousin came over to my house and said: “R doesn’t have lice; your daughter gave it to everyone.” My cousin is an ass-kicking-psycho who has been in prison. So I said: “Oh no she doesn’t! My kid doesn’t have fucking lice; R has it! So don’t try fucking blaming me for it!” Surprisingly she didn’t punch me out. She mumbled something like:
    “Well, I just wanted to let you know.” That is my crazy.

    PS. White or apple cider Vinegar kills all lice on contact. But not the nits; you have to get all the nits out manually. They start reproducing 7-10 days after birth. Putting full strength vinegar in a spray bottle worked well for me. BTW, I got lice too!

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    1. The above is an example of blameshifting in my family dynamic and my mother, sister and cousin accused me of being crazy (tapped) and a liar!

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  3. This one almost cracks me up! I’m crazy, psychotic, when i react. But, mine, lol, will NEVER admit to ANYTHING. It was never abuse.

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  4. This is so true. Though the real reason I commented is to just tell you how much of an impact your making. I found a wonderful online support group and your name came up. People, like myself that has been struggling for years to understand the abuse they have gone threw and havent been able to achieve peace and freedom are finally breaking away. Thanks to you. I have takin your advice on many articles and it has worked tremendously. Once I would come home to every window knocked out, slut written across my doorway in red lipstick. Stalking me, running me off the road to near nothing. I have to deal with him daily due to our child but your advice in how to handle the situations made him stop. Not completely but enough to tolerate. Thank you for that although I know your motives are not to help. I believe in balance. Though good or bad. You have turned your evil into balance to help those that are in prison. Ty

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  5. “Our abuse equals your crazy”
    This resonates a lot:
    1. If the narcissist has not started the smear campaign( turning people against you without you even knowing it ) the more crazy you appear when trying to explain and tell to people how he /she abuses you. People who haven’t been submitted to abuse do not understand it .And the narcissist always keeps the good façade making it hard to believe that she/ he is an abuser.
    2. If he has started the smear campaign ,part of his strategy is exactly that: as soon as you tell them about his/her abuse the more proof of you being the crazy one or the abusive since he/she has already painted you like that. For them ( people you tell about the abuse) is just a corroboration that you are the crazy one.
    Either way, the narcissist is always one step ahead. So there is no use to seek validation with people that you do not trust. It will make your situation even worse. Stay and open yourself just to the ones you really trust!

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