The Imitation Game

 

 

I watch you.

I watch in order to learn. I observe in order to process. I survey so that I can add to my understanding.  My steady gaze garners knowledge. My unflinching stare stores information.

I recognise that I have done this both consciously and unconsciously. Unconsciously because I found myself at an intermediate stage of being able to represent that which I did not feel. Consciously because I understood that in order to be the most effective I had to fit in to your world in order to make it my world. I am an expert at The Imitation Game. I understand, for example,  when I should present a picture of concern and if and only if, I deem that this is appropriate for me to secure The Prime Aims will I then create this picture. This is what I do. I create a picture. I understand which expression I should adopt, how my brow should furrow, how my gaze should look, how I should set my mouth. I am aware of what I should do with my body, I need to lean in and perhaps place a hand on your shoulder or arm to convey apparent gentleness. If absolutely necessary a hug is provided but that is for emergencies only. My intellect allows me to issue a stream of words which are commensurate with concern, compassion and understanding. I know the words to choose. The words are the easiest part, for me and for most of our kind, save the most base. Still, even the lowest echelon narcissists can muster a few words which give the impression of concern even if you misinterpret it as “He means well, he just isn’t very good at showing it.” Oh how little do you realise your words are so accurate.

I have spent years perfecting and finessing my imitation of you and your kind. I can show you upset, concern, passion, happiness, joy, understanding, elation, puzzled bewilderment and much more besides. I have logged the appropriate facial expressions, appropriate words, fashioned the right tone and inflection and curated the body language. Time after time I have conned you into believing that I care. Repeatedly I have duped you so that you believe that I am concerned. Frequently I have misled you into believing that this is the man who loves, cares and cherishes you and has your every well being at the centre of all he does.

It wasn’t the easiest of beginnings though. Copying restrained interest was easy as the MatriNarc carried that one off to perfection and I observed her as she interacted with others and noted how she behaved in order to copy her. Father served some use in allowing to observe the injection of warmth towards another human being, although finding him often enough to ensure there was suitable material to work with was sometimes challenging. My siblings were more useful in that regard. When I was very young, I used to ask how they did it and they would look at me like I was an alien – it was a look I received numerous times until I began to perfect my craft as I knew more and more how to fit in. My siblings found my curious questions amusing and would laugh at me. That did not sit well with me and would result in me showing them the more advanced aspect of my craft. I could readily conjure up antipathy, resentment, petulance, irritation and hatred with no effort at all. Those characterisations came to me readily, they appeared to be part of me, or at least I think they were part of me for I do not recall a time when those responses were not part of me. For so much else it was akin to reaching for a shelf inside my mind and taking from that shelf a labelled kit which provided me with the relevant facial expression, words, vocal tone, body language, look in the eyes and so forth.

Brother fallen off his bike and the family is watching? Must stifle the laugh and instead reach for that shelf and select “Surprised concern.” Got it, apply it, use it. Excellent, they never noticed.

Joke told by uncle at family gathering resulting in assembled family members laughing merrily. Dismiss the disdain (she will notice and reprimand me, after all Dear Brother Uncle has the most wonderful sense of humour) and instead to the shelf again and find “Hilarious reaction.” There it is, throw the head back, issue the laugh (no, too hollow, try again, that is more like it), rock forward, keep laughing perhaps a hand wave as well. Well done, one of the crowd. For now.

New prey? Drive down the predatory delight, must not let her see the wolf that is bearing down on her. No, to the shelf once more and find the oft used “Eyes for Only Her”. Slip on that mask of infatuation, pour forth the sugar-coated words, hold her hand (must I? I must), soften the voice, lower the voice, intensify the stare but not too much. Marvellous, her reaction tells me it is working.

Over time the selection of those packages from the shelves became faster, subconscious and I could move from one package to another and then another on an almost second by second basis. The slight pause of selection almost undetectable.

Of course, my mastery of this mimicry allowed me to spot our kind in action. They were not as accomplished as me. I saw where the actions sat uneasily with the situation, I heard the empty laugh, witnessed the smile with the unsmiling eyes, I detected the pause as the carousel flicked through the options before settling on the correct package. There were occasions where I witnessed the disconnect where the shelf lay bare for that particular narcissist and he or she offered nothing. That blank response and the confused reactions of those around the narcissist as there was just nothing. I laughed inwardly as those victims got to actually witness a flash of reality, the fact that there is nothing there. The narcissism recovered and found some kind of response, usually one of the standard responses of fury in order to assert control in light of the challenging looks and control threatening questions issued towards the narcissist by the perplexed and bewildered victims. “Well, aren’t you concerned?” they would ask as the blank faced narcissist looked at them. “Not my problem,” he would seethe and march away. His withdrawal being the stamp of one of the assertions of control, necessary because the question from the victim was Challenge Fuel. and had to be dealt with.

I recall a few years ago watching the film Ex Machina. I found it fascinating and wished it had gone further, but that is something for another discussion. In one scene, the creator explained that he had used the software from his devices which were used by many millions of people to capture the speech and expressions of millions upon millions of people in order to formulate the way that Ava (the robot) would understand and speak. I understood that. I had been doing something similar from before I could even recall. For me, I had both a “background application” whirring away in my subconscious as I sucked in the mannerisms, speech patterns, expressions and gesticulations, storing them away, filed and placed ready for use and also the conscious application where I specifically observe certain people, watching and listening as I noted how they responded in certain situations. I took the behaviours of so many people and commandeered them for my own use. Character Trait Acquisition on the grandest of scales.

Most of our kind only absorb this information unconsciously and then regurgitate it in a similar way. Some have gaps in the knowledge, their narcissism evolved only at a level which results in missing responses, mismatched responses or clearly superficial reactions. Think of those irritating robot voices that convert text to speech on YouTube videos and you get the idea of how basic some of our kind attempt to replicate your kind´s responses. Some narcissists are more evolved and make a pretty good fist of such mimicry, although they are not perfect. There is the odd “glitch” where the response comes across as delayed or forced, but rarely do people seriously question it. If they do, the enemy that is emotional thinking, soon causes them to dismiss it with thoughts such as “He has his mind elsewhere” or “I guess he was just tired so he did not react.” Indeed, the narcissist may use such explanations as excuses to deflect from the challenges to control which are issued when the victim queries why the narcissist isn’t offering comfort or sweet words of succour or there is an absence of elation at the provision of good news from the victim and the presence of emotional thinking causes the victim to swallow the excuse, failing to realise that you have just been shown an indicator of what you are really dealing with.

As time went on and I as I stocked up those shelves with more and more packages, the more I came to find them disgusting and contemptible. I found the necessity of such responses from other people weak and pathetic. What on earth did crying solve? That shelf had a gap in my repertoire when it came to tears. That tap was never even turned on properly to begin with. However, if you saw the shelf of a Middle Mid Range Type B Narcissist you would see those packages of “Utterly Distraught”, “Silent Sobbing”, “Great Wracking Heaving Snotty Sobs” , “Funereal Wailing” , “Quiet Whimpering” , “Stifled Misery” all with their complement of waterworks. The very thought of those packages disgusts me. Yet, that weak MMR Type B Narcissist pours forth convincing sadness but it is not genuine although he or she thinks that it is. The narcissism will not allow them to know otherwise for if it did, the self-defence mechanism that is narcissism would have failed in its role. The Lessers and the Mid-Rangers can never know what they are, why they do what they do and what they actually require. I on the other hand, belonging to the rarefied highest echelon of my kind, not only know, but I positively revel in the misleading use of The Imitation Game. It amuses me to put on a display of benevolent concern knowing that I do not have the slightest shred of genuine concern and that the victim is being taken in by this expert display. The fuel pours and the control is maintained as the game is always being played.

As my abilities flexed and grew, as they became honed and sharpened, I learned certain responses and then let them sit, gathering dust on those shelves. I know how to portray a particular response but I am not going to use it. It is beneath one such as I. I know how to give a long, lingering and comforting hug combined with a “There, there, there” but I shall never use it. I quickly understood how I could both fit in and remain set apart. There was no need for me to fully embrace all that sickening fluffy nonsense. Far too Mid-Range. All of this observation and selection of appropriate response then furnished me with another advantage. Not only was I able to imitate suitable responses to manipulate and achieve The Prime Aims but it also meant that I could assert considerable restraint and keep hidden (much of the time) the dark, savage malice that fought to make an appearance through those ink black eyes, snarling mouth, twisted face and low, guttural voice. I exercised the ability (much of the time) to constrain the fury so that the bellowing words of outrage were kept locked within and the glaring, frenzied-wide eyes kept still. I became master of the false creation and governor of restraint. Doubly effective.

The watching never stops. The observation never ceases. The listening never falters. I absorb, both consciously and unconsciously, knowing more and more and more. More shelves are constructed and on them fresh packages land, existing packages are rebooted and updated and some still sit in the darkness waiting to be used although they never will.

Each and every one of our kind plays The Imitation Game. The vast majority do not know they do. The standards of effectiveness vary and you play your part in this game, for it is from you we take the raw ingredients to enable the game to be played.

And for certain of us, for the game to be won.

 

 

 

 

 

72 thoughts on “The Imitation Game

  1. Violetta says:

    There is an absolutely terrifying series of photos on YankeeWally showing Meghan Markle’s attempts to become first Kate, then Kim K, then Katherine McFee. The hairstyles and makeup are dead-on.

    It’s the kind of thing it would be normal to do in Jr. High. Even by high school, most girls have found something of a style for themselves. At least they’ve figured out if they feel more comfortable with the jocks or the Emos.

  2. A Victor says:

    This one explains the very odd laugh, and often the odd timing of that laugh. And also the tears, so unnecessary and fake, it was actually very awkward. Knowing the Narcissist does seem to have all the answers. Thankful again.

  3. K says:

    Emergencies only?!! Jeeze HG, I was hoping to get the chance to hug Your Royal Tudeness someday!

  4. lickemtomorrow says:

    I just came across something in my reading relating to the idea of a machine and the perfecting of the same when it comes to narcissism and the need for the facade.

    A patient is seeing a psychiatrist and relating a dream they had which, of course, is then up for interpretation. The dream is significant and describes perfectly the machine (or facade) which she has generated in light of her narcissism. It is quite remarkable, and not a fictional account.

    She came as close to describing what I imagine is the facade as anything I have seen.

  5. December Infinity says:

    Interesting article. I like the idea of the various packages on the shelves to be used/upgraded as needed (or not). I think I have to watch Ex Machina.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      I am pleased that you found it interesting.

  6. Sweetest Perfection says:

    Ah, I used to call the narc AVA. I always had a feeling he had an exaggerated reaction to human emotions. If someone laughed, he laughed too loud. If someone was worried, he seemed over worried. Little do they know that thanks to your work, they are not the only ones watching us to copy; we are watching them and we now know when they are copying us.

  7. burntkrispykeen says:

    I always did appreciate you sharing these intimate details. Just as your readers have already expressed, we desire to know more about what lies beneath the narcissistic facade. For me, your words feel most profound when you reveal your innermost thoughts… to the point where I always find myself feeling such sadness. There is something simple yet complex in your ability to relay to the reader how you process.
    I still can’t wrap my head around how someone so emotionally unattached can deeply connect through the sharing of his thoughts.
    Perhaps you really are just that good at mimicking emotion, but when you write like this, something feels very raw and real within your message. These types of revelations make my head spin with thoughts and ideas and solutions… and hope. Then I realize that if I were to share my innermost thoughts, you’ll likely disagree. So I will just simply say, thank you for sharing this article with us, HG. Thank you very much.

    1. lickemtomorrow says:

      Very well said and I concur with your sentiments. Thank you for sharing those thoughts.

      1. burntkrispykeen says:

        Thank you, LickEmTommorrow. I have been enjoying reading your comments… and I find your name to be entertaining as well! 👅😀

        1. lickemtomorrow says:

          Thank you, BKK, I find your name entertaining as well 🙂

          Mine is a Ulysses S. Grant quote, just to clarify x

          1. burntkrispykeen says:

            Thank you, LET. I think many of our handles here have been hard-earned. It seems we’ve all fought in our own Battle of the Narcissist, and in many ways, it still feels like a personal Civil War. I live in an area where Civil War reenactments are held, though not the Battle of Shiloh. Of course, we are seeing a lot of controversy surrounding the remembrance of that era, but it is such an important part of our history. Thank you for sharing the intentions behind your name. There is always tomorrow. #neversurrendor

          2. lickemtomorrow says:

            Hi BKK, thanks for sharing your thoughts around that. It definitely felt like a battle with the narcissist and Shermans’ “Devil’s own day” quote is entirely appropriate, too, which is how I came to use the quote. It just summed up my experience – I’d had the devil’s own day – plus I have an interest in the CW. Never had the opportunity to see a reenactment, though I’ve seen plenty of pics and enjoyed a few videos. It is an important part of American history and, as you say, controversy continues to swirl around it which is why it still engages the imagination (amongst other things) today.

            There is always tomorrow and #neversurrender is a good motto for moving forward into the fray 🙂

  8. Empath007 says:

    Fascinating. Do you think the majority of people are faking these emotions as well ? Not just your kind, but normals too ? I’m trying to put myself in your shoes and I can’t quite.. I never tried to fake anything necessarily. I do fake things when I need to though. After reading your advice it took EVERY OUNCE OF POWER I had left in me to NOT talk about my narc (to friends, co workers and family) and shut my mouth hhahah. That was not easy !!! Fuck, I feel like I deserve a prize.

    All I know is… this world is a hard place, just gotta be you. We can’ t be anyone else then who we are.

    My narc cried. He could switch them on like a light hahaha. He used them to make me feel guilty. Or to make it look like he carried some badge of honor. I generally did not act empathetic towards them because I could tell they were crocodile tears…. I swear one time I almost said “You’ve got to be kidding” lol. You once called him a piece of shit for it and that made me laugh hahha.

  9. Circe says:

    I realized who the MMR truly was when his attempt to reach for an emotion off his shelf fell short. We were out together and I tripped and fell. He had no reaction and made no attempt to help me up. The other men on the street all instinctively rushed over to help me up. Only then did he realize his behavioral misstep. From that point on, I was very attuned to the other red flags surrounding him and GOSO just weeks afterward. HG, could you kindly share some other instances where the narcissist might not have a typical reaction to situations, and thus unintentionally reveal their narcissistic identity? Thank you very much.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Remaining blank faced when someone is upset.
      Rigid body language.
      Inappropriate questions.
      Laughing at the wrong moment, failing to laugh, laughing emptily, laughing too loud.
      There are many examples these are just a few Circe.

      1. Circe says:

        Thank you so much for your detailed reply. The MMR exhibited most of those behaviors you listed, as did many others with whom I have had past relationships. Though this was my first comment, I have been reading this blog, purchasing your books and listening to your videos for quite some time. They have been instrumental in helping me develop and maintain my GOSO plan. They have encouraged me to examine my own role in allowing my emotional thinking to overtake me throughout my life, putting myself in situations that are not in my best interests. I have lived with a history of choosing narcissists to try to fill in the empty spaces in my life. HG, I cannot express my gratitude enough for helping me strengthen my logical thinking, so I can go down a better path in the future.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          You are welcome, Circe.

  10. Leigh says:

    You really do spoil us! I’ve seen that look before when they arent sure how to respond and they have to scramble to figure out how to react. Brilliant article! Thank you!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Indeed I do and you are welcome. I am pleased you enjoyed the article.

  11. WokeAF says:

    Good read.

  12. Asp Emp says:

    “I had to fit in to your world in order to make it my world” – interesting to see this. It seems to be in some contradiction to what I have learned. I’m still learning…..

    “they would look at me like I was an alien” – woah, I have seen the same expression on some people’s faces with things I have said over my life-time. I am not a narcissist (nor in denial).

    Reading your experiences, describing your ‘observing’ others and family ‘interactions’ as a child, reminds me of ‘Mother’ and my sister. ‘Mother’ did the triangulations from when my sister and I were very young. One day, ‘Mother’ tells me that my sister was the first person to actually be able to communicate with me – not ‘Mother’, my sister. I’m not surprised. ‘Mother’ was a narcissist.

    “I absorb, both consciously and unconsciously, knowing more and more and more” – the film ‘Lucy’ came into my mind when I read this. Brilliant film.

    I love ‘Ex Machina’. I wanted to know how Ava managed in the ‘real’ world after her ‘escape’ from her ‘prison’. A ‘machine’ among the living…….

  13. FYC says:

    HG, This is an excellent post and an interesting topic. It seems all people learn by observations. As children, mimicry is most common, but occurs even in adults for all people. By way of example, if I admire something about someone, I may emulate that something as I go forward. I think the difference lies in narcissists doing so to unconsciously or consciously achieve a certain aim, whereas an empath may emulate out of admiration or affection, versus having an end goal. I have witness that flash of emptiness in my familial narcissists. It saddens me. It represents the breaking away from all they would be if not for the necessity of the defense. I wish love after the fact were enough to heal those original wounds, but we both know that is never possible. HG you are an amazing individual and supremely effective in your defense. I am certain you would have been equally effective and amazing without the defense, but understand its necessity. You are inherently unique and impressive in so many ways. I hope you know that *you* are this, and not just your defense or your techniques. I mean this in the most positive way. Thank you for the superb, new article.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You are most welcome, FYC.

  14. Fiddleress says:

    Thank you for this article, HG, most interesting.
    Like WhoCares, I really enjoy being given insights into your world.

    I am reading Machines Like Me, at the moment, Ian McEwan’s latest novel. Not his best in terms of writing (but I am only less than halfway through it, I will see). The topic appeals to me very much. When reading, I think of your articles that deal with imitation and mimicry, as the author describes the robot as ‘freezing’ for a second before selecting the appropriate response on his own shelves.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      I am pleased you enjoyed it, Fiddleress.

  15. FoolMe1Time says:

    This article helped me understand a few things I was having difficulty understanding. By letting us see first hand your world and the way you use imitation. Thank you!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Good to read FM1T.

  16. mommypino says:

    Excellent article HG! I had a feeling this was new. Thank you for the recent new articles.

    For some reason I do remember myself going through a phase in my childhood where I was observing everyone. My N mom was so critical of almost every little thing that I do whether it was my mannerism, the way I smiled, the way I walked etc. and she pointed out other people to me that I should observe and copy. I observed other people and then also observed her and saw how different she was compared to others. It allowed me to learn which behaviors I want to emulate and which behaviors I would not want to acquire for myself. That was me as a child being inadvertently molded to be a narcissist although thankfully my genetics didn’t have the predisposition to become one.

    I had a feeling that you have the ability to tell when a person is a narcissist just by looking at their expressions. They can be very obvious indeed if we observe really well. I have observed these things before but I wasn’t knowledgeable about narcissism at that time. I am so glad that I know now that it is narcissism as it can indeed help me see more red flags. I like to look at the Facebook albums of people that I know or of celebrities and look at their pictures in social settings. Selfies and posed pictures are not really that helpful since most people have fake smiles when they do selfies and some even have very painful smiles because they are camera conscious. But I think pictures that are candid reveal a lot from their expressions. I have also been reading about Duchenne smile and I think that narcissists would have a really hard time copying it. Also the timing of the reaction or expression reveals to me if it is more likely to be genuine or fake. The infamous reaction that G. Bush had when they had just told him about the 9-11 attacks for example indicates to me that he is a narcissist and was not reacting with emotional empathy about the situation.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you MP.

  17. NarcAngel says:

    Lucky for us, many are drawn to Hollywood to compete for Oscar in their own Olmimics.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Certainly the case.

    2. Violetta says:

      But first they must fake ecstasy when confronted by the rotting peen of someone like Harvey Weinstein.

  18. windstorm says:

    Great article, HG. I second what WhoCares said. I really appreciate you letting us see into your world so we can better understand the narcissists in our own lives. Thank you.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You are most welcome and good to see you adding your comment.

      1. windstorm says:

        Thank you, HG (for the “good to see you adding your comment”). I’m moving slow today!

  19. Violetta says:

    “Rhoda moved off slowly, an expression of patient bafflement in her eyes; then, throwing herself on the sofa, she buried her face in a pillow and wept plaintively, peering up at her mother through her laced fingers. But the performance was not at all convincing, and Christine looked back at her child with a new, dispassionate interest, and thought: She’s an amateur so far; but she’s improving day by day. She’s perfecting her act. In a few years, her act won’t seem corny at all. It’ll be most convincing then, I’m sure.” – William March, The Bad Seed

  20. Kim e says:

    Another best seller. I can picture in my minds eye the N’s brain working to pick out the correct “shelf”.
    Very educational yet unnerving

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you Kim E.

  21. Eternity says:

    I really enjoyed reading this new material from you HG. I understand how Imitation is needed to fulfill the needs of The Narcissist.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you Eternity.

      1. Eternity says:

        Pleasure!

  22. MB says:

    I enjoyed this article.

    I’m imagining hugs kept in a red box with glass labeled “break in case of emergency”.

    HG, will you give an example of one of your hug emergency situations?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      To maintain body heat in an exposed environment.

      1. MB says:

        My mind didn’t even go there. I was imagining some emotional melt down of an appliance and the glass having to be broken and the hug immediately applied!

      2. FYC says:

        I enjoyed your comment MB and HG’s response. Thank you both.

      3. WhoCares says:

        Hahaha – just saw this!

  23. Truthseeker6157 says:

    This is a timely article for me I think.
    Strangely, the Mid Ranger claimed never to cry. He might have been being honest there. Not at movies, not at situations he saw in his job, and he described some horrific scenes there. For example, he was the first responder to the Daniel Rotariu acid attack in 2019. First into the house. He never read as emotional at all. Not in person and not online. Which I felt, I felt the emptiness, I just didn’t recognise it. I’d recognise it now.

    I do wonder about the crying thing with Mid Rangers. How do they do it? HG you even managed a couple of tears to manipulate the good doctors. Actors either are in character, so cry appropriately because they believe in the pain of a situation. Alternatively they recall a painful event to generate the emotion and cry to that. We cry when it hurts. The pain of something sad that builds up inside like a pressure, starts in your stomach, rises to your chest, tightens, then the tears come. But if you don’t feel that emotion and you can’t recall that emotion, I don’t understand how you can physically cry. How do people without any emotional empathy cry? Serious question.

    1. Truthseeker6157 says:

      Actually, let me re edit that. I have re evaluated, whilst sipping Huel and contemplating.

      The Mid Ranger claimed never to cry.
      Groundwork for future manipulation.
      If he later shows emotion, his humble Empath (Me) will sit up, take note, fuss, offer comfort and with it a nice dollop of fuel.
      Yes, I think that’s probably closer. I’ll go with that. * sip sip* More endorphins? Why yes! Thank you!

      1. JB says:

        I think that’s a really interesting question about the crying, TS6157. I’m not sure I could do it on demand, without bringing a sad thought to mind, so yes, if a narcissist doesn’t feel these thoughts, how do they bring on the tears?

        HG, what do you think?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          See “Tears : Parts One to Four”.

          1. JB says:

            So, having read parts 1-4, I see you induced tears by thinking of injustice and hurt you had suffered, much in the same way we would do if trying to bring on tears deliberately. So you do feel moved to tears at times then, just never for any positive reason?

          2. HG Tudor says:

            I was not moved to tears. I fabricated them by harnessing evidence. It was a colossal effort.

          3. JB says:

            That’s interesting, thank you. I hope you didn’t mind me asking this.

          4. HG Tudor says:

            Not at all, thank you for your politeness but you are welcome to ask whatever you like.

          5. JB says:

            Thank you 🙂

  24. Krisztina says:

    Dear Tudor!
    What trauma must have happened to someone that he has become apathetic?
    “My love is narcissistic” but he kiss extremely well, with lots of hugs and kisses. He doesn’t look apathetic to me. I feel in her the good, the child and the defect, and the suffering.
    In my opinion he’s a Type C narcissist a bit borderline.
    For me Type B Narcissist is unbearable, there the emptiness is very noticeable.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      I recommend you use this https://narcsite.com/narc-detector-2/

  25. WhoCares says:

    HG,
    I really enjoy how you let us see into your world, how you were created and how these insights are applicable to other narcissists.

    Is this a new article? I don’t recall seeing it before.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you. Yes, it is.

  26. JB says:

    No wonder I have often found myself in conflict where narcissists are comcerned. I think I was permanently issuing ‘challenge fuel’ ! My dad especially hates this (and really did when I was a child), although bizarrely I think he was the one who instilled that in me (wanted me to query things, but then felt criticised if I did – damned if you do, damned if you don’t..)

    Can I ask, what do you feel when someone dies? Someone who is painted white, I mean? Anything at all or just neutral, even?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      See ‘Death’.

      1. JB says:

        Ok, thanks.

      2. JB says:

        I have just read this article, and realised that actually I had already read it before, and should have known the answer, sorry!

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Not a problem.

  27. lickemtomorrow says:

    For some reason I feel like I am reading this article for the first time, but I see it has been loaded before. And I’m sure I read it. Maybe I am reading it with new eyes today, or eyes that see. There are definitely moments where we absorb things better than others or where we’ve moved along in our journey.

    I must admit, I’m becoming more attuned to studying narcissism objectively as opposed to reacting to it and the wounds it has created in me. This article kind of speaks to that element of objectivity in terms of how the narcissist goes about studying others for the purposes of gathering fuel.

    I downloaded Ex-machina to watch again last weekend (for some reason) so interesting it’s come up here, but I have seen it before and remember it having quite an impact on me then. I will have to watch it again to refresh my memory, but knowing what I know now will watch it with added interest and insight. There was another movie I saw recently on Netflix, more a B grade job, related to an individual with psychopathy. The movie begins with the psychopathic child standing in front of a mirror and practising various expressions. Later you see the videotaped version the child has created as he practised, saying things such as sadness, surprise, worry with the corresponding expressions. The beginning of the movie hints at the fact the child had to practise these expressions as they were not an automatic response. That was also impactful. Just because it was a child and hard to imagine. Now I know that is the reality.

    I was also reminded of changing gears in a manual vehicle and how that becomes automatic after a while so you don’t even have to think about it. I’m guessing for the well practised narcissist, the imitation becomes much like changing gears as necessary.

    “I became master of the false creation and governor of restraint. Doubly effective.”
    Just like a machine. Being perfected.

    “I watch you.”
    Noted.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      No, you have not read it before LET, it is a new article, the other article below it, is along similar lines.

      1. JB says:

        The article ‘Death’ I have!

      2. JB says:

        Second apology, HG, I read your reply to LET as being to me instead of LET! I’ll go back to bed, I think! 😂

        1. lickemtomorrow says:

          Haha, JB. Easy to do when there is so much to take in around here 🙂

          1. JB says:

            LET, definitely! 🙂

      3. lickemtomorrow says:

        Ah, yes, I should have realized the title was different! I’ll be more observant the next time.

        And I’m so glad to get that confirmation as well as the opportunity to appreciate further the workings of your mind.

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