Why The MatriNarc Knows Best
“I love you.”
“I have heard this is a good one for getting a reaction from you because this is what you always want to hear.”
“You won’t ever amount to anything.”
“Not while I am interfering in every facet of your life, controlling you and making your childhood and your adult life one long battle.”
“I just thought I would call you and see how you are.”
“You do not give me enough fuel. You are an ungrateful son/daughter and I regret the day I gave birth to you.”
“It is my birthday next week and I just wondered if you had anything planned.”
“I expect something lavish and spectacular so I can be centre stage. If you haven’t planned such an event you are cruel and uncaring, just as I always thought.”
“I am proud of you.”
“For once you have done something I approve of and now I can take all the credit for it.”
“You were quite a challenge when you were younger.”
“I thought you might resist my cold-hearted manipulation of you, but I broke you in the end.”
“I suppose you have heard the sad news about your Uncle Paul dying?”
“A death! A funeral! Such a wonderful stage for me to dominate and all those relatives to suck fuel from.”
“I am trying to help you,you know?”
“I am trying to control you, stop resisting me.”
“I have done so much for you. All I want is some thanks.”
“I think I have done so much for you. I need some fuel.”
“It was a joke. You take yourself so seriously.”
“It was not a joke. Damn you for seeing through it. I need to back track quickly so I am not accountable.”
“You were an accident.”
“Go on cry and make me feel powerful.”
“Your father and I have discussed this as we think…”
“I have decided….”
“Your father agrees with me so there is no point running to him.”
“Your father knows better than to contradict me.”
“I had such high hopes for you.”
“You aren’t doing what I want.”
“That never happened.”
“It did but you are not allowed to hold that against me.”
“We never thought you would leave home.”
“You were not meant to move out of my control.”
“We hardly ever see you these days.”
“You should be providing me with fuel more often.”
“You weren’t like this when you were little.”
“You were so much easier to control back then.”
“I don’t love you.”
“I don’t love you. I never have.”
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“You won’t ever amount to anything.”
Although in my case it was the patrinarc telling me this. I’d aked him if i could join the boy scouts. I rember thinking ”who are you talking about?” I mean i was six years old never had the chance to amount to something lol
”We dont know what you’re talking about.” That’s another one they all use. And by saying so shownig off their control over their counterpart at the same time.
Aaw, you got a Patri Narc, too? Me too! Heard that sentence from my Patri Narc too. Exactly the same sentence.
Already went no contact? I did years ago,even before i knew what narcissism exactly was.
My narc sister is taking care of him . She’d put him away in an old folks home. Isolated him as much as possible from everyone,even from his dog,so satisfying.
She was his golden child,couldn’t do anything wrong,the irony. She became a real weapon off mass destruction,thats why i cant LOL about it too much. I mean her whole private and professional surroundings is bedridden,burnout,stressed out,depressed including a suicide. Its a miracle that her daughter didn’t became like her.
If you haven’t done so already proof your patri narc wrong and amount to no contact,really.
I went Almost-No-Contact (ANC), I had to move far away from my former home, so that´s very handy. I see him like 2-3x per year and that´s enough. I can deal with him on those rare occasions. He has no psychopathic traits, just an arrogant, loud, extraverted, grandiose, smug and dominant Upper Mid Range Somatic. 🙄🤪
HG,
Yeah, some of these quotes look familiar. She would also say, “Why don’t you call me? I’m always having to call you.” “Why are you brushing your hair? It’s not going to matter.” “You’re a selfish child, you’re a taker. You never do for me. I do everything for you and I get nothing for it. Why did I even have you? You’re stupid! Why can’t you get this right? Should you be eating that ice cream? That doesn’t look good on you. You’re too skinny, you need to eat more. Why aren’t you eating? Do I need to take you to the doctor so you’ll eat? Get over it already! You’re such a baby! You’re too sensitive! There’s something wrong with you. Stop crying before I give you something to cry about! Why can’t you do it right?” Just some examples.
Wow Rebecca, this comment really hit home for me. Many things weren’t verbally stated, some were, but so many of these were there, in the silence or the spoken. And so difficult to leave behind, at least until realizing they were there, now with your comment some of these I can shake. I had not even known they were there until reading this. How many more are there that I’m not aware of? Thank you for this comment, it is a place to continue from. Maybe a year ago I wouldn’t have seen it, other layers of the onion needed to be peeled back first. Or maybe they would’ve been recognized but refreshers are necessary. Either way, I appreciate your comment.
You’re welcome AV, it’s why I enjoy it here. We all help each other through it, either aware or not of helping.
That is true Rebecca.
All of the above although not said to me, I was in my room But I have heard her say these phrases to others and can very well picture them being said to her as she was being raised hence the projection.