Own

 

 

OWN

I want to own you.

I want to draw you into my world. A world where my rules are the only rules that matter. When I first set eyes on you I make it my business to ascertain your suitability for ownership. You might only be owned in the sense of being a tertiary source which I interact with the once, but in that moment, I own you and I own the fuel that flows from you.

I wish to brand you as my property. My appliance. My plaything. I own you and this means that nobody else does. I have exclusive rights.

I may designate you the role of secondary source, should you make the grade and you become mine, subject to the unwritten contract that governs you and I. You are to be loyal, obedient, compliant and a provider of fuel.

If you are to be my primary source, that coveted position of supplier-in-chief of the most precious and desired fuel then you also must be owned. You must be subjected to my total and hegemonic control. Once I decide that you are the one, I will not stop. Once that light has turned green, once the first tantalising drops of your fuel have begun to be sucked up by me, there is no hope for anything else.

You must be mine. I must own you.

You at think that I look on you with love-lorn eyes. Indeed I do as I turn my precious orbs into the mirrors which give you what you want to see. Behind their silvery gaze, my machined machinations are forming. I am absorbing how you smile, how your wrinkle your nose, how you play with your hair on the left hand side of your head, never the right. I listen to the way you say ‘scone’ – do you say it so it rhyme with tone or with gone? Every word that will come from your mouth will belong to me. I want to know everything about you. Every facet of your life must now belong to me. When my hand touches you and you feel that jolt of electricity between you, that is my connection with you as I begin to download your life.

It is true that I have already screened you, probed your life from a distance, made enquiries and observed before launching my take-over bid. I have done my homework but now I want to dominate, conquer and subsume. I must envelop you in my world for then I can be sure that you will respond as I require. Loyal, reliable and functional.

Steadily I drain your identity from you, consuming it for my own use. This is part of the process of owning you. I know no boundaries, I see no limits, I recognise no restraint. I have decided that you are to belong to me and thus this is what must happen with the steady and incremental accumulation of what you are. I am plugged into you, the ultimate parasite which sucks the life from you. Your money becomes my money, your house becomes my house, your friends become my appliances. There is no real me. There is no substance and thus I must steal what you are in order to give the appearance of substance.

The only way I understand to do this is to own you. Make you part of the fabricated world that I have woven. This dazzling fiction fools so readily and as I part the curtain and beckon you in to my wonder land, you accept and once inside you become mine. The real world is left behind. The real world of rules, standards, procedures and fairness is no longer applicable to you. I own you now and as a consequence you are subject to my capricious nature, the arbitrary application of my diktats and pronouncements. None of it will make any sense to you when you start to realise what is happening but it will be too late by then. You assimilation into me will be so far gone that you may just well scream and the only voice you will hear will be mine.

My ownership means I tell you who to speak to and who to ignore. My ownership means that dress is wrong and that one is right until it is the other way around. Yesterday is tomorrow which becomes today. You think Josef K endured the Kafkaesque nightmare of nothing making sense? You ain’t seen nothing yet.

I must control everything. My space, time and the environment around you. This is why to you I seem to operate as if I have no concept of time, but that is because I do not operate to Greenwich Mean Time but rather Being Mean Time. I compartmentalise, shifting between worlds which must never connect, where the players and actors inside of them move to my direction. They dance to the tune that my invisible pipe plays. I must not leave anything to chance. I do not like chance. It is the ruin of me. I want predictable and eventually you will come to realise that there are few who are as predictable as my kind. We bring excitement, we bring chaos, we bring drama but it is all so predictable. The same manipulations, just variations on a theme. Some of us have more string to our dark cupid’s bow, but the poisoned arrows we fire all have the same effects. Control and fuel.

It is only by ensuring that we own you that we can be assured and convinced that you will do as we want you to, that you will not be disloyal or a traitor to us. We must plug you in to us and like some giant leech suck the very essence from you, taking your fuel, your confidence, your self-worth, your self-esteem and stripping you of them to ensure there is compliance and obedience.

I want to own so that I know I will win. I want to own you so I can exist.

I want to own you so that everything you do is as consequence of my decisions and my actions which ensure you provide me with my lifeblood whenever I demand it. You are on call and on demand, my primary source of salvation, the reason for my existence and I dare not allow the slightest chink of autonomy for fear of losing that control.

I want to own you to underline my superiority. I want to own you to remind myself that I am powerful. I want to own you so that it is repeatedly highlighted that I am the controller.

I want to own you to stop being the slave that I am.

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24 thoughts on “Own

  1. StrongerWendy says:

    Nice to ‘see’ you Twilight

    1. Twilight says:

      Hello StrongeWendy nice to “see” you to

  2. Twilight says:

    And the slave to oneself will never look to deep in the mirror and face truth yet cling to the lie that comforts them.

    This can be said of both the Narcissist and the Empath. For accepting the brutal truth growth can happen.
    For some Narcissists I believe growth can happen.

    1. WhoCares says:

      Hello Twilight!
      How are you?

      1. Twilight says:

        Hello WhoCares
        I am great, how are you?

    2. Bubbles says:

      Dearest Twilight,
      “For some Narcissists I believe growth can happen”

      Yes, narcissists grow into bigger narcissists 😂

      Luv Bubbles xx 😘

      1. lickemtomorrow says:

        Bubbles, I think this should “Comment of the Year” 🙂 xox

      2. Twilight says:

        Hello Bubbles,

        Ha ha “bigger narcissists” yes bigger cowards, temper tantrum’s, delusions etc
        Those who are self aware I believe can “grow”, not necessarily for the good of those around them, yet for themselves.

        Hope all has been good with you and yours.

        Twilight

        1. Bubbles says:

          Dearest lickem and Twilight,
          Thank you lovelies, your’e too kind ☺️
          Yes, Twilight, I agree the self aware can ‘grow’ …longer noses 🤥and horns 😈
          😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
          (Sorry lovely, I have never come across a self aware narcissist who can grow in the way you describe, nor do I think I’m ever likely too)
          lovely chatting again Twilight 💕
          Luv Bubbles xx 😘

  3. Leigh says:

    Mr. Tudor, your articles are so thought provoking. May I ask, from whose perspective is this written? I would imagine that you are a slave to no one. However, I do know that you need to meet the Prime Aims so it is a possibility that you are a slave to meeting the Prime Aims. Is this article from your perspective as the Ultra? I shudder to even ask the question but like I said, your articles are so thought provoking, I couldn’t help myself.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      This is applicable to all narcissists. It is an unconscious perspective for the unaware narcissists and embodies a conscious view for the aware narcissists. I am of course a slave to the Prime Aims, not that creates a difficulty for me, but its necessity is in itself a shackle.

      1. Leigh says:

        Thank you for your informative response, Mr. Tudor.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          You’re welcome, Leigh.

        2. A Victor says:

          Thank you for asking the question Leigh, it and HG’s answer are very interesting.

  4. Ciara says:

    “To stop being the slave that I am.” I’m wondering about your last statement . In order to keep the outer self , the narc must control and own the appliance so that the true self do not surface. Actually, the narc is a slave to the true self because he must have fuel to keep himself intact. That is why the narc MUST be in control at all costs! The arrangement that was made when the narc and true self first come together. (My little 2cents) 😂 I’m guessing.

  5. hot chocolate says:

    You had me at “to stop…” The rest was so “awwwww”;)

  6. Pingback: Own - Dark Triad Personality
  7. Asp Emp says:

    “I want to own you to stop being the slave that I am”

    I have read this article a number of times. Tonight, when I re-read it, I thought to myself, I can understand the meaning of the words above. It is so that the ‘creature’ (darkness) is not ‘felt’, or ‘reminded’ of. The majority of narcissists being unaware of what they are, they may ‘sense’ their darkness but cannot explain it because they cannot ‘recognise’ what it actually is. Just like I was unaware of exactly what mine was, I knew my ‘traumas’ (pains, mental and emotional pains) existed but they had ‘piled’ on top of each other (thousands of individual ‘pains’ from various narcissists of my past). Every smack, every word, every manipulation = thousands of ‘hurts’. I needed nurturing, love, care to ‘replace’ the ‘hurts’. I also needed to understand how to ‘remove’ the old and accumulated pains. I had ‘obtained’ misunderstood “empathy” – one that I had ‘learned’ that ended up totally different to what I understand ‘empathy’ to be. Having my grandmother’s and father’s love, care and support helped me to be able to distinguish (greatly) the difference that I did not have from the other parent.

    The key words I have typed here are: “I needed nurturing, love, care to ‘replace’ the ‘hurts’” = “I want to own you to stop being the slave that I am”. Hence the need for fuel for a narcissist. So, of course, they do not “let you go”.

  8. A Victor says:

    Every single time. The reason for this one boggles my mind, “…to stop being the slave that I am.” And every time I read it I think I understand a little better.
    And then I don’t think so. Narcissists don’t actually believe they are slaves to anything so that sentence isn’t even accurate, is it a pity play? Or do they realize that the sense of owning another person gives them a sense of power, so the powerlessness without ownership has held them captive? But the unaware ones wouldn’t think this way. I used to think it was knowing they were slaves to their narcissism so at least I’ve gone being that now. Oh, asked prior to that I thought, well yes, isn’t ownership normal? Thankfully beyond that now too. Seeing the thinking change is encouraging.

    1. Leigh says:

      My interpretation is that this is the view from the narcissism or the true self, not the construct or the false self. I think that the narcissism itself is a slave to the Prime Aims – Fuel, Control, Character Traits and Residual Benefits. So, the narcissism wants to find someone who fills all the prime aims so it can stop being a slave to all the prime aims. At least that’s my interpretation.

      1. A Victor says:

        Hi Leigh, you’re probably right. I’m still sitting through this one. It’ll become clear at some point…😂

        1. Joa says:

          Narcissist is a slave to fuel and control.

          He is a slave to everything, he needs to control. He is a slave to everyone, who supplies him with fuel.

          At the same time, he is the controller and recipient as well as a slave of what is enslaved…

          On the other hand (empath) it looks the same. Addiction and power.

          The circle is closed 🙂

          This is how I understand it.

          1. A Victor says:

            Yes, thank you. I get it now. 🤗

          2. Leigh says:

            Joa, when we Get Out Stay Out we lower our ET and break our addiction. If we can break the addiction, we are not slaves to it.

            Narcs are slaves to the prime aims and can’t break it.

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