30 Shards of Ice



Words are our weapons. Easy to use, low in energy expenditure but with such potential. The capacity to charm, to flatter, to instil joy, to create desire, love and passion, to engender affection and much more besides. Words can be used to soothe, to convince, to persuade and to calm. Those words can also hurt, upset, annoy and frustrate. Cutting comments, acidic accusations and pernicious put-downs. The greater of our kind show particular ingenuity in assembling those savage sentences which cause despair and generate misery for the recipient. We adopt a considered approach in respect of the uttering of these barbed comments.

  1. They will be reserved most often for strangers and minions in order to reinforce our superiority and to show off in front of you, our primary source. We have no façade to maintain with the newspaper vendor, the waitress or the driver of another car. They will suffer the caustic words to allow the provision of fuel to us by their shocked and upset reaction and also from you by reason of your admiration at our masterful handling of the incompetent person serving us.
  2. Those who form the façade rarely receive the lash of our tongue unless they deceive us and become treacherous. For the most part those people will only ever experience the pouring of honey in their ears and the sugar-coated pleasantries which are designed to keep the loyal to us and to maintain the façade to our benefit.
  3. The worst of these comments is directed at you as our primary source of fuel. The issuing of nasty, malevolent and hurtful comments will be saved for you during devaluation for the purposes of causing the maximum provision of fuel and the assertion of our control. Slurs about your life, your appearance, your family, your interests, your job and your friends will be routinely hurled at you. This will happen repeatedly, like a machine gun firing our bilious bullets towards you. We also like to wield a show stopper of a comment, a particularly chilling comment which is designed to drive a shard of ice through your heart. The type of comment which leaves you in a stunned silence at the malice it contains. The nature of the comment leaves you horrified that somebody would say that to you, somebody who is meant to love and cherish you, somebody who once said the most wonderful things to you (and will do so again in about a week as the rollercoaster ride gets into its stride). These comments are designed to deliver maximum hurt, total upset and have that negative fuel pouring from you. They may leave you stunned, sickened, frightened and anxious, they will chill you to the core but our kind will always deliver them because words are our weapons. Here are thirty icy shards which are driven through your hearts.
  1. I will always be in your head and your heart. You will never ever escape me.
  2. I will not stop. Ever.
  3. You know, I thought about your funeral before and it troubled me. It troubled me because I would no longer be able to punish you.
  4. Nobody likes you, that is why your dad left you, you know. Nobody else will say it but I will.
  5. I hope it takes years of therapy to sort you out.
  6. You think this is bad? This is nothing. I am just getting started.
  7. I always know where you are.
  8. You are my puppet and I will never cut the strings.
  9. I know everything about you. Remember that.
  10. It’s strange what can happen when you are asleep.
  11. No matter how far you go I will always find you, because I own you.
  12. I only chose you because I felt sorry for you.
  13. You have no idea what is going through my mind right now have you? But I know exactly what you are thinking.
  14. Go on scream, nobody is listening.
  15. You are not a person to me.
  16. I’ve caressed you. Now I am going to crush you.
  17. Just think, you have already had the happiest moment in your life.
  18. You have told me all your secrets. Remember that.
  19. I’m diseased and I’ve infected every part of you.
  20. Nobody will ever believe what you say.
  21. I’m the permanent reminder of all the things you want to forget.
  22. I will teach our children to hate you.
  23. I’m going to show you what loneliness really is.
  24. This is happening because you are a bad person.
  25. I need to cleanse you and I will not stop until it is done.
  26. When you close your eyes you will only ever see my face.
  27. I will never let you go.
  28. I will never put you out of your misery.
  29. I hate her because she reminds me too much of you.
  30. This is what will happen for the rest of your life.

There are many more, but what have you been told which has stopped you in your tracks and sent a chill through you?

12 thoughts on “30 Shards of Ice

  1. Gypsy Heart says:

    The chilling words my father would say…..

    “If you ever leave I will hunt you down and kill you”.

    This statement as he sat cleaning his 45 with tears in his eyes…..
    “Look at the bluing in the barrel; it is flawless, and the grain of the wood in the gunstock (I forget what kind of wood it was now) is beautiful, a true work of art”.
    The same gun he would hold to the side of my head. It was loaded and he would make sure that I saw him take the safety off. To this day I often wonder if he actually had his finger on the trigger.

    The statement that he said to me when I was 12; the day I decided if he was going to physically abuse me again I was going down with a fight. Actually I won’t say what he said to me here but HG knows what he said as he backed out of the room and also stated that he would never turn his back on me again. He also never physically abused me again after that day. But that statement, even with him in his grave (a heart attack) still haunts me today.

    1. A Victor says:

      Oh no Gypsy Heart, so sad to read this. I hope you have overcome it. These stories, that many who’ve been abused by narcissists have, really bring home the thought that we were effectively and literally groomed to be abused. So tragic. I’m glad you found HG. Glad we all did.

    2. Contagious says:

      My ex multi millionaire criminal husband a diagnosed antisocial put a gun to my head and said during our divorce, “ This will solve the problem, I will blow your head away like JFK.” I said to him, “ Do your worst.” Tough words at the time but I lived in fear for awhile. I came to the conclusion no one should ever go to bed worrying if they will b killed. Especially if they are a mother to small kids. It’s wrong. But I sought freedom, distance, no contact except through lawyers. HG is dead right about that. We raised our daughter together for 13 years without a single discussion. He was a “ good dad”. Good at discipline, paying court ordered child support and she loves him. She says he hates me to this day. I don’t hate him. I avoid him in all contexts and I am just glad he did ok by her. I told my daughter growing up it doesn’t matter what mommy and daddy feel about each other. You have your own relationship with him. That’s what is important. He is a narcissist antisocial but was not a bad dad altogether surprisingly… HG? I provided the nurture. My daughter says she doesn’t worry about life as she knows I will always make her feel better. He has the real money but I have the love.

      1. Contagious says:

        I am so sorry that you were subjected to gun violence as a child. As an adult subjected to it, I know it has its own “ face death” abuse. I pray that his horrific scare tactics wane, and you find safety in your space and heart:) x

    3. Bubbles says:

      Dearest Gypsy Heart,
      Words literally fail me after reading your story.
      I’m so so sorry 😞
      Luv Bubbles xx 😘

  2. Janai says:

    It’s both what he said and how he acted it out….You have told me all your secrets. Remember that…..chilling…and this one too: This is happening because you are a bad person. But I think the worst was when he told me “Your son is dead, bury him, get over it, nobody cares” and yet, I still sit here, research, and wonder if he really is a narcissist.

    1. JB says:

      That’s an appalling thing for him to say, Janai. I’m so sorry for your loss xx

    2. A Victor says:

      The doubt that leads us to continue researching is our cognitive dissonance. I hope you can resolve it, it will help. I am so sorry these things were said to you, so hurtful.

      1. A Victor says:

        And yes, as JB said, I am sorry for your loss also, so much.

    3. Contagious says:

      I care and I don’t know you so imagine how many people care and beyond. What an idiot !

    4. Gypsy Heart says:


      That is the most horrible sickening thing i have ever heard. The horror for a mother that is experiencing a traumatic nightmare that will haunt her for the rest of her life. I am so sorry that happend to you.

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