Never Again

NEVER-AGAIN

 

I have lost count of the times that I have been told “never again”. I have heard it said by other people who have met my kind even more often. I am entirely relaxed when I hear this phrase because I know that although your intentions are to never go through that dance again with me or one of my kind, it will happen.

We may be gone for some time but we will return and when we do we will resurrect all those wonderful memories as we seek to Hoover you back into our reality. The emotional attachment that we create is so great that even though you looked in the mirror every morning and mouthed “Never again” to yourself you will struggle to resist.

You cannot help but wonder if this time it will be different. You do not want to say no for fear of someone else receiving our amazing and scintillating love. You want it. You learned the lessons and as the introspective empath that you are (as well as suitably conditioned by us) you will blame certain things on yourself.

You will convince yourself, because you want to taste that mesmerising kiss once again, that we have changed and that this time it will be different. Why should someone else get to experience that wonderful love? That is not fair. You put up with the rough and the smooth. You have earned your stripes so it is only right that you get to have us again isn’t it? That is what you want.

When we first departed and you saw (for we wanted you to see) that we had found someone new it ripped you apart. Notwithstanding the full horror of your dance with us you hated the fact that someone else now basked in our glorious light. You wanted to warn them not because you cared about that person but because you wanted us back. You wanted us to yourselves.

You felt a sense of unfairness that she was now with us. You would lie awake wondering if I was saying the same things to her as I had said to you. You wondered how she would respond to that blazing, heavenly love that you once relished. Would I be the same for her as I was to you? You kept telling yourself that it was only a matter of time before she befell the same fate that you endured, yet the postings and pictures told a different story.

You began to worry. Had I changed? Had I become a better person after you? Was she somehow able to please me in a way that you could not? You had to know. You had sworn never again but now you wanted me back. You wanted her to go away and free me to be yours again so that you could apply your learned lessons and everything would be wonderful again.

She did not deserve me did she? But you did. You made such sacrifices. You opened your heart to me despite the daggers I drove into it. You served your time and you are entitled to your reward. Not this Jane-come-lately. You want to give us that chance to prove we can do it.

You want to show you brought benign influence to bear. You want to prove that the beast can be brought to heel in the most compassionate manner. You might say never again but you do not truly mean it. Not in your heart of hearts.
By contrast when we say “Never again” we most definitely mean it. Never again will your life be the same after meeting us.

Never again will you feel able to trust anybody after being subjected to our acid reign.

Never again will you be able to smell certain scents, hear certain songs and see certain places without breaking down in tears.

Never again will you love someone in the way that you loved us. Never again will you want somebody as much and in such an intense way as you wanted us.

Never again will you be able to feel calm and relaxed since for too long you have been subjected to a heightened state of anxiety.

Never again will you experience that euphoria you once had with us. So when you declare never again it is never truly meant, but what you fail to realise is just how many things will never again be the same for you.

3 thoughts on “Never Again

  1. Nadine says:

    Dear HG,

    yes, i will again feel the same or the similar same. Thanking you are become the narcissist my favorite toy-i am looking and i find again some new and fresh narcissist man and feel again the narcissists miracle.

    Your kind of man are wonderfull toys!
    Im still an empath, a dirty empath you will say. I’m enjoying hoovering.
    Thank you for all your works!
    Yes, i will feel the narcissist man again-my favorite feelings and toys!

    Nadine
    Greeting from Germany, my english is not good, but i hope, you understand what i mean.

    Thank you for all!

    P.S. I wish to play in real with you. Sure, you are the best, ultra of all of your kind!
    I wish, all the woman commes to the point, to treat your kind of man as one georgeous toy-man!

    1. Violeta says:

      Nadine … 👏👏👏 I did again. I felt better than ever. Clever, brave and more intelligent but overall I look the psicopat like an ant. I will see this as you do, thank you!! 🙌

      1. Nadine says:

        Hi Violeta,

        i losed many years in the bittersweet pain in a relation with 2 narcisstic men. It was like heaven and like hell.

        So thanking the works of HG i’m knowling yet the matrix of the narcissist, so i can make i choice to have some drugs of feeling with thise kind of men, when i need it. But i can stop in the right time bevor comming the pain.

        Now i can see very soon behind the maske of the narcissist. So i enjoy the golden time and dont come in longer relation with thise kind of men. Only short the golden time and some hoovering from them. But i dont lose my broken hearth anymore.

        For joy, thriller, adventure is the narcissist the perfect toy-boy!

        I think, i’m going thanking HG to be dirty empath-i cant get a narcissist, but i learn to use some behavoir of them. It is a wunderfull play for me.
        I stay all my life an empath, but after knowling HG a become a playing and having fun empath with the narcissist!
        Sure, for marriage and house and kids you should forget the narcissist man. He is only for plays and adventure! Never marry him, only adventure-thats, what hi good can.

        Greetings from Germany

        Nadine

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