About

Hello,

Welcome to Knowing the Narcissist.

I am H G Tudor. I am a narcissistic sociopath (some state psychopath – this remains a matter of debate by the profession concerning the current application of sociopath or psychopath).

By my terminology I am a Greater Elite Narcissist. You will learn here what that means along with all about the other types of narcissists and empaths too.

I convey this is an effective manner based on my perspective. I know what I am and I know the best way to communicate this to you. I am a very effective communicator.

I write extensively about what this means and what I am. I have practised this dark art for many years, I have honed and crafted my abilities. I am aware of what I am and I am engaged in understanding why I am this way and why I act as I do. I am sharing these ongoing revelations.

I know my kind in considerable detail. I have several family members who are narcissists and have engaged with numerous in my life. I know the way my kind think, why we act as we do, say what we say and so much more. I understand why we target our victims and how we go about it. I comprehend why our victims think and act as they do. I have had many, watched many and listened to many. This allows me to build a formidable body of knowledge about not only my kind, but the people we engage with.

I am currently engaged in treatment which has been forced upon me. As part of this treatment and because I enjoy writing, I have been encouraged to share my knowledge. This is to engender a greater awareness of what I am on my part and also to allow the world an unrivalled view of the mind and actions of a narcissistic sociopath.

I do this because I like to write. I like to interact with people. I want to be the number one source for the reality of how my kind think and behave. I also find the weaponising of empaths and having them go into battle with my kind entirely in accordance with my worldview.

I do not do this for fuel. I do gain some fuel from the comments but since those who comment are tertiary sources (see the book Fuel for more) it is not significant. I gain far more fuel in my interactions in my private life.

I am direct. I do not speak in scientific terms. I welcome enquiring minds and those who want answers. I will give them to you. You will not gain understanding like this from anywhere else. I encourage you to read my articles and extensive collection of books which can be found on Amazon. I encourage you to contribute, ask questions and offer your own views. I read everything that is submitted to me and answer all questions, thus if your post does not appear straight away, please understand that it is in moderation and is either receiving or awaiting my attention.

The number of comments and hits are testament to the need for my knowledge and the huge usefulness many people have found from it. You will too.

Welcome on board. You will now Know the Narcissist.

HG Tudor

 

 

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864 thoughts on “About”

  1. i find it absolutely fascinating that of all the obsessive research I’ve been doing (for almost no benefit except sating intellectual curiosities, which in effect mean nothing if they are not something that can cause a shift in whatever mental programming i got locked in at the moment) that i stumble upon a resource like this. The narcissist’s perspective brought to light. They say a narcissist can’t experience true empathy, so a person that can or has, can’t know what true lack of empathy really is.

    I am not a narcissist, i do have empathy. As much as I do, I wouldn’t label me an “empath” or even co-dependent. I feel like a mesh. I was abused and used and discarded by a narcissist who had gotten me to question that my true love for her was just manufactured by her. Maybe it was one or the other, both or none. But as much as I despise the damage done. I can’t lie to myself and say that the life of a narcissist has aspects I admire and even envy, but my empathy holds me back. What I could do, what I would do, if i could objectify someone, reduce them to a resource for my own benefit. But I know i possess just enough empathy that I could not live with myself knowing I’ve allowed myself to thrive on being “evil”.

    narcissist. empath. both have pros and cons. both sides experience intense pain, and joy. Both sides have self loathing versions and both have self loving versions. Both do great progressive services and great crippling dis-services to society and interpersonal relationships.

    None of it fucking matters. it comes down to your own perspective of self. Identity. A narcissist had the skill and power to give me one when i had none. And then showed me it was all made up. and from just about every angle, it looks like it was her that made it up. But really i have learned I fucking made it up. She just allowed it to happen and provided an environment for it to happen. Which ironically i was doing the same concept in reverse for her. Her focus my destruction. my focus, her rebirth as the illusion of a person she claimed she was and wanted to be.

    Now shes gone, I’ve been labeled a too difficult resource and really, sucked dry to the point i wasn’t much a resource anyway.

    I am not destroyed because she destroyed my identity, i was already lacking one. But with her I had one. now im too aware and know its fake. and i’m back to who the fuck am i???

    This post went in directions i didn’t expect. I’d apologize but luckily i know you don’t give a fuck.So even though i’m capable of feeling bad for wasting your time, i don’t care enough too.

    if however something in my rambling sparked your interest enough to want to give me some insight on what i really am and if i have any real control of it, i’d love to hear it from the narc side, cause none of the empath side is giving any results.

    1. Deadpolk
      Well I am not who you want to hear from, but your post certainly sparked my interest, resonated with me, and I’d love to hear anything more you care to share.

      1. Deadpolk
        I meant that in your last paragraph you asked to hear from the narc side and assumed you meant HG, and not from another empath. Sorry for the confusion.

      2. I’m not opposed to talking to empaths. Knowledge is knowledge. If youd like to chat (prolly easier off this forum) let me know. Are you an empath, or just empathetic?

        What I meant by my last comment is I’d love to hear narc side cause I have not yet. Cept the narc who fucked my world up. She ain’t gunna spill shit.

    2. Dead Polk,
      It sounds like you have worked yourself into what my daddy always called a “dither”. What you need is a good healthy dose of validation and logical thinking. My advice is read, read, read HG. Educate yourself. Empower yourself. If your circumstances allow, arrange a consultation with HG, it will give you a bolus of the medicine you need to get you unstuck. All my best.
      MB

      1. Yes DP! Look in the menu bar and choose the Skype Audio consultation and pay by Pay Pal . It will be the best $150 you ever spent. You can talk to him for an hour! That’s less than what those ball washing attorneys charge.

      2. I just read all of his primary articles. Mind blown. I could image what a convo would do.

      3. DP, as you’re making your way through the articles, many questions about your entanglement will be answered. Keep a list of what you would like to ask about your specific situation. You’ll know when you’re ready for the consult. HG will give you definitive answers.

  2. The enormity of the pain and destruction you and your kind bring into the world is beyond description. The fact that you cannot feel it is not relevant. The fact that you don’t care is.

    I’m going to rise above you and use your information to do it.

  3. Where would I find the descriptions of the Lesser and the Greater, Lieutenant, etc.? I am new to your writings, and I don’t know where to start. I believe I have reached what you refer to as the post discard battle, pt. 3, but do NOT want to be foolish or have a false sense of security.

  4. Hello HG. You terrify me because I believe I am about to find out that the man that I love and have been married to for 36 years is a Narcissist. We have 3 grown children and 6 grandchildren. He has been psychologically abusive for many years although I did not realize this for some time and when I did come to understand it I did not know what to do. He became physically abusive one year ago resulting in his arrest and conviction of 2nd° assault. Which of your many books should I start with in order to learn about what I am dealing with. Sincerely Susan (a devastated empath)

  5. I want to consult you, but how do I trust you? How do I trust that the dynamic of that consult doesn’t turn into an abuse dynamic? I would love to get some solid advice from you on how to tackle hard issues with my ex when it comes to our child. Yes, third comment in 24 hours, enjoy the fuel, but the more I think about paying you to possibly do to me what he does to me day in and day out I want to throw up! How do i know you are legit? And that at least when it comes to consults you are a professional (as in you will behave like one, not trained mental health professional).

    1. Read the testimonials and feel free to ask other readers here about their experiences. Our interaction is governed by a common sense protocol. My role is to answer your questions and give you insight, not to abuse you, I am professional.

    2. It’s not about trusting HG. It’s about gaining knowledge and educating ourselves. He was brutally honest with me. He identified the person in my life with exactness. You need to trust yourself first – and allow him to show you the answers. Good luck

    3. HTS, I’ve consulted with HG many times. I promise you he IS legit. I’ve found him to be professional, accurate, and respectful. He is the best source. As I’ve said to others, it’s the most effective use of your therapy dollars. You will get more out of one consult with HG than you will from MONTHS of expensive therapy. You won’t regret it.
      All my best,
      MB

    4. I’ve had several consults – email and audio and have followed this site since its inception. HG always gave very accurate predictions and observations on the individual I came here for. He would even predict timing of next Hoover as he got to know my narc’s patterns over a year. He doesn’t provide “therapy” but can provide guidance.Learning the perspective from their mindset really helps you start changing your behavior to navigate around them better and also help build up your personal boundaries.
      Also, think of it this way. He started the consults well over a year ago. If people were not happy, there are ways to get that info out on social media sites to warn others. Many of his readers have gone back for follow up consults.
      He operates professionally and is legit. No issues with billing or payments. No issues with timely bookings after consult is purchased.

    5. Hi Hatethisshit
      I was as jaded and cynical as one could be about consulting with a narcissist but I read of others who had a positive experience and even those who have used his advice in court. I thought: What do I have to lose? If I have a bad experience I wont continue. His accuracy and professionalism in the consults blew me away and the information he continues to provide is second to none. I believe he can help you and you owe it to yourself to try it. He is the only narcissist I know of who delivers on his promise to help.

    6. He’s the real deal, I believe. Three years ago, looking for answers about my 25-year marriage to a “covert, malignant narcissist with psychopathic features”- my therapist’s description – I came upon Tudor’s writings. Intrigued, I was trying to crawl inside my (now ex)husband’s mind to see what propelled him. Maybe it was to see if it was, in fact, “all my fault” (name something, anything). But mainly, I believe, it was because I was tired of being lectured to by those who, although psychologically credentialed, had no solid clue as to what actually BEING a narcissist really meant: what makes them tick. Enthralled, stunned, then drawn to understanding the playbook, I began educating myself. Tudor showed me what his life is = my then-husband’s, and how I figured in. (Spoiler: I didn’t.) The very hardest part was finding out I could have been ANYONE – I was not special, he did not love me – for he had no interest nor capacity for such – but the “I could have been anybody” shook me to my core. I wept, I struggled. Then I grew up. I realized Tudor was right, and I needed to know that truth of things, before I could EVER proceed with my own life. Knowing you are nothing to the narcissist except fuel, is an imperative. It tells you everything you need to know, to set yourself free.

      When I have seen other women flailing about with the same initial questions, I have referred them to Tudor. He has, in a twisted way, made himself a gift to those of us who are like the born blind. Instead of flinging feces through our locked cages at him – read him, hear him. He is handing you the keys. -J

  6. Hi HG. I’ve recently started, no contact with my narcissist husband. Thankyou for helping those of us wondering what has happened; the shock, confusion and even disbelief that someone we loved and trusted with our lives, was the last person we should have trusted! For 8 years I was played and only recently after asking for his email password, did the deceit become apparent. I’m still so confused…particularly as he explained away every lie then turned it on me. If I’d staying any longer, I would have had to agree with him if he’d said the earth was flat.

      1. HG, I asked him over skype and of course he couldn’t remember his password, so he’d look for it after work ( 8 hours later!) I was well aware that in that time he’d be busy deleting whatever he didn’t want me to find…he missed some correspondence from 2 years earlier. Maybe he thought I was so brainwashed that regardless of what was found, I’d accept it, just like I’d accepted years of nonsense. He always gave me just enough information to satisfy my curiosity.

  7. Good evening Mr Tudor,
    I decided that I had enough of my interaction with the narc when I saw that he had no problem in having his 25 years old daughter in bed with him, and she was behaving like she was 11 kissing him and hugging him like a child would do with the plus that when they were together in bed or outside of it, they would behave much more like a flirting couple than father and daughter.
    Is it possible that a narcissist doesn’t even care for the relationship with his own sons/daughters? can he/she even flirt with his kids if this would provide him with fuel?
    Thank you for your answer

    1. Yes. The sense of entitlement and poor boundary recognition facilitates the need for fuel and this can be obtained in the method described.

      1. Not here on the blog Na.

        It made me think of ‘Chess Grandmaster (figuratively speaking) HG’.

  8. Thank you for your interesting and useful books. I don’t think that “fuel” really equates with actual fuel but is more a need for control and power over individuals.

  9. I find your stories compelling and I enjoy reading them as I learn about the man that I love and his possibly being like yourself and I also have found myself intertwined as well. I now understand so much more and how to act and as confusing as it may be to the world, it is simply who you and your kind are. I am learning to rely just on myself in this world and not on others so much, it lessens the pain and when this possible discard happens, because one thing I do believe is that we do not need to be with just one person. I believe that what I don’t know about wont hurt me attitude in life, and it serves me well. I have two beautiful boys who I raise to be strong men who will never put up with crap from anyone, are very polite to the world and that you need to be number one, in sports, school, life in general. There is no room for second. You play to win mentally. Why play if you cant be number one? Thank you and keep your stories coming. I am learning a lot about your kind and life in general,

  10. I read your blogs daily as you post them! Thank you for showing me/us the light! Still struggling to shed my Narc even though I believe I am his DLS, he keeps popping up trying to reassure me otherwise. That he just wants me to ‘relax, take things easy and enjoy the moments we have as who knows what tomorrow may bring’. He insists he is a loner so he has no friends or life to introduce me to!!!!
    Due to the gaslighting then stonewalling and verbal fury he keeps me walking on eggshells and eventually I’m grateful for the crumb of kindness he shows and too afraid to question as Mr Jekyll is just all too charming.

    He has kept a carrot dangled since January and emotionally abused me enough times to make my want for him less as the time goes on. I’ve blocked and ignored but still he manages to find a weakness in me and worm a day or so’s texts from me… of course he disappears after is fuel feed of emotions from me…
    But then pops up wanting my time again and is angry with me for stopping texting me.
    He is a very intelligent lawyer and I often find myself snookered with his arguments…
    Just hope I fall out of lust with this mirage!

  11. Hello! I wandered over from YouTube. Been haunting your videos there, now reading here, and gathering funds for books. I’ve been away from my narcissist for five years now but live in terror of her coming back even though it’s not highly likely from your Hoover criteria. I have to say I love your term MatriNarc, fits her perfectly with how it always felt she was holding court whenever we got dragged to her out of family obligation. Thank you for shedding light on things.

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Read and understand all about narcissists from the best source possible. A narcissist himself.

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