About

Hello,

Welcome to Knowing the Narcissist.

I am H G Tudor. I am a narcissistic sociopath (some state psychopath – this remains a matter of debate by the profession concerning the current application of sociopath or psychopath).

By my terminology I am a Greater Elite Narcissist. You will learn here what that means along with all about the other types of narcissists and empaths too.

I convey this is an effective manner based on my perspective. I know what I am and I know the best way to communicate this to you. I am a very effective communicator.

I write extensively about what this means and what I am. I have practised this dark art for many years, I have honed and crafted my abilities. I am aware of what I am and I am engaged in understanding why I am this way and why I act as I do. I am sharing these ongoing revelations.

I know my kind in considerable detail. I have several family members who are narcissists and have engaged with numerous in my life. I know the way my kind think, why we act as we do, say what we say and so much more. I understand why we target our victims and how we go about it. I comprehend why our victims think and act as they do. I have had many, watched many and listened to many. This allows me to build a formidable body of knowledge about not only my kind, but the people we engage with.

I am currently engaged in treatment which has been forced upon me. As part of this treatment and because I enjoy writing, I have been encouraged to share my knowledge. This is to engender a greater awareness of what I am on my part and also to allow the world an unrivalled view of the mind and actions of a narcissistic sociopath.

I do this because I like to write. I like to interact with people. I want to be the number one source for the reality of how my kind think and behave. I also find the weaponising of empaths and having them go into battle with my kind entirely in accordance with my worldview.

I do not do this for fuel. I do gain some fuel from the comments but since those who comment are tertiary sources (see the book Fuel for more) it is not significant. I gain far more fuel in my interactions in my private life.

I am direct. I do not speak in scientific terms. I welcome enquiring minds and those who want answers. I will give them to you. You will not gain understanding like this from anywhere else. I encourage you to read my articles and extensive collection of books which can be found on Amazon. I encourage you to contribute, ask questions and offer your own views. I read everything that is submitted to me and answer all questions, thus if your post does not appear straight away, please understand that it is in moderation and is either receiving or awaiting my attention.

The number of comments and hits are testament to the need for my knowledge and the huge usefulness many people have found from it. You will too.

Welcome on board. You will now Know the Narcissist.

HG Tudor

 

 

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1,279 thoughts on “About”

  1. Can you offer advice for moving forward after your ex (narcissist) unexpectedly dies?

    After months of no contact, I’m now confused as to how I’m supposed to feel….

  2. I am new to this so wish me luck! This past year had my first experience with a narcissist but didn’t realize WHAT he was until after he blocked out of the blue!! I always “felt” something wasn’t quite right but couldn’t pinpoint it e.g. self centered, braggart, hot/cold game, LIES, etc. Well I didn’t heed the feelings so just jumped right in and now am suffering. I listen to your videos at work and now understand the WHAT but not the why with cutting me off yet I know he did me a favor. He even lied about his name and where he lives!

    He did not verbally abuse me and the last thing he sent me was a kiss 😘 then vanished. Can you explain his reasoning if possible and is this just part of his game. I don’t believe he is a greater narcissist but just one below that – he was good at deceiving and lying! My pain was so great I went into therapy a week after his block (April 1st) – I’m just not grasping the how/why of such deliberate cruelty yet he was always so nice.

    I warned you I’ve never done this before so I apologize for the rambling. Thank you!

    1. Hi Denise, sounds exactly like the one I was involved with last year (lives in Bedford UK, I was given a false name until I made him show me his bank card, met him on Bumble) and guess what the horrible man still tries to break my no contact… he won’t stop as he knows that leaving a carrot dangling (like the kiss your abuser left you) before blocking will hopefully excuse his blocking/stonewalling (often done when I had discovered another lie or asked about our relationship or that he was busy with another)
      I can promise you he wants nothing from you but to know he can control you by causing you pain or extracting your feelings of want so that his ego can stay inflated. He will get that from you and everyone else he is using for the same.
      The hard part for you, I and the rest of the abused is to truly come to terms with what they are and what we are.
      I am a people pleaser, I came from parents forced together by arranged marriage so not only did they hate themselves and their lives they hated the three children they were forced to produce. As a child you love your parents no matter what so whatever hatred they try drown you with you accept it as parental love as it’s the only thing you’ll know (until you become a parent yourself). On having my beautiful children I had never felt such all encompassing love, that is when I knew that my childhood was not a childhood at all.

      I’m no victim to it as it made me strong, resilient and independent. It taught me to protect and love my children and give them the tools they need to become emotionally strong ….

      But what it had done was leave me vulnerable to abusers … I would go above and beyond to accommodate others wishes over mine, I would willingly take responsibility for upsetting others and apologies for their wrong doings…
      UNTIL suffering at the hands of this NARC.

      Read and watch everything you can on Narcs, sociopaths and psychopaths. The most helpful reading came from here for me.I finally feel free (…some days) of him but fear his words as he has never failed to suck me back in. He is a wordsmith like no other.

      Mission No Contact has been on since Nov 18 … he is growing tired of trying however he will only stop when I finally put all the breaks in place and change my number.

      Good luck – getting out it is a slippery slope but we will all get their one day.

  3. Dear HG,
    How adequate is a long distance supply with daily text communications? Is this sufficient to be a primary source? Also is buying things/giving money part of gaining control?

    1. 1. Someone can be an IPPS and then be apart from the narcissist for a period of time long distance and provide daily text communication. However, if you have only ever had long-distance text communication with the narcissist you are not the IPPS.
      2. The adequacy depends on potency (governed by your status in the fuel matrix – you are probably a NISS or IPSS), frequency (how often are you texting) and amount (texts are the written word and therefore the smallest amount in terms of fuel). In broad brush terms you would not be adequate as the sole provider of fuel.
      3. Yes buying and giving is part of gaining control, if this is being committed by a narcissist.

  4. Hi I see you have written many books on the subject of narcissism. I’m interested in reading about narcissists and empaths as I believe I am an empath. Which one of your books would you recommend?

    1. Hello Angela, do read Fuel, Fury, Sex and the Narcissist, Manipulated, Exorcism and No Contact to start

        1. Angela

          I also recommend Sitting Target. An excellent book which explains how and why empaths are chosen.

    2. Any book about Ted Bundy, an extreme example but all you need to know about narcissism. Will cure you of your empathy for parasites and egotists (albeit those with massive inner voids as HG explains) FOR LIFE. Good luck.

  5. How can I tell the difference between red flags stupid mistakes, and a severely sensitive/reactive amygdala?

  6. one psychologist said that the behavior of narcissistic people results from their low self-esteem. They need attention, adoration and special treatment from other people because of their low self-esteem. Do you agree with that?

      1. Would like to hear more about what Kasia asked. HG Tudor, as a narcissist, if it’s not about low self esteem, please let us know what it IS about. Do you have high self esteem and is that because you are a greater?

          1. Thank you HG. I’ve read that but need to read again. Sometimes I need a refresher. I forgot about it being control.

          2. Individuals with a health esteem do not need to use control to cope.

          3. Haha, but of course I am wrong. Everyone else is always wrong to a narcissist. The fact is that narcissism is a defense response. Narcissists are defending their fragile sense of self, which never formed properly due to emotional trauma. Of course a true narcissist could never admit to a weakness such as a defect with their sense of self.

          4. What do you need control for? Is it for security? is it only for enjoy or fuel? Is it a matter of general order or hierarchy?

  7. If the N just made contact…is saying they are sorry and want to start over, but simultaneously is trying to have you engage in an intimate conversation and and intimate relationship with them and you refuse… what do you do when they begin to backlash and put you down? How do you continue with out going NC and not have them discard you?

    1. Tracy, I had a 6/7 year stint with a narc – and that almost killed me.

      After that escape, I had gained a friend, that became quite enmeshed in my life, but he too ended up being a narc – on a whole other level.
      I figured that because he was just a friend (romantically he likes men and not women), that I would be able to handle him… he was actually very open about the fact that he is a narc, and he let me in into the way he operates (preys on certain people, manipulates, lies, steals, mind games, etc… he chose to divulge quite a bit that he normally hides from others… he was quite intrigued that I was able to see through him and able to read him quite well (I had good practise with first narc)…

      The friendship was on and off all the time. Off when it got to a stage where he’d overstep certain boundaries (I learnt about boundaries during recovery from 1st narc), and then I would withdraw from all contact. From 2 Weeks to 2 Months of no contact here and there over 2 years… Interestingly, when he saw that I was not going to budge nor be the first to make contact – he’d find a way to get hold of me (as I would block his ass on social media, whatsapp, phone, everything) – which was not normal practice for him – he would normally discard and forget.

      Anyway, it has reached the stage where I will no longer continue any sort of relation with him. There was a pattern that started becoming clear… per boundary that he overstepped (resulting in no contact and him reeling me back in), he’d need to see how far he could push the next boundary…. and it continued like this… and everytime, I would go back with a forgiving nature… things would be cool for a month and then something within him would decide to test my boundaries again… each test became viler and viler…. and finally, the point of no return happened.

      I wanted him in my life because he is thoroughly entertaining, fun, smart, etc… but the dude is a sociopath, and my worth to him would change at various stages – I was either he’s allie or his prey.

      Rather ditch this person.

      1. Unfortunate that they are so fun, intelligent and entertaining to be around. Part of the allure, part of the heartbreak. I have yet to find anyone who interests me like my former or even comes close, but as per “the game” it quite nearly killed me and I could not endure that pain ever again.

    2. You go No Contact. There’s no other way. Read HG’s posts on No Contact. They will discard you. You can’t prevent this. The whole “Im sorry, let’s start over” is BS. If you dont believe me, try it. They reel you in and then throw you to the wind. Go No Contact. Period! Once you get this you will wonder why you ever put up with this crap .

  8. If a N made contact and says he’s changed. Makes statements about missing our friendship, but simultaneously attempts to lure me into to saying things I’m uncomfortable with and attempts to have me agree to have an intimate relationship with him. When I declined he began to put me down and deny he wants anything to do with me. How should I handle this without going no contact to keep him from discarding me?

  9. if parents have a son or daughter who is a narcissist or is it possible that parents do not realize that a child is lying, cheating and harming others? Is it more likely that if they live in one house and raised a child for 18-20 years, they know it very well and need to know that their son or daughter is so ruthless?

    1. They may know something is ‘wrong’ with regard to the behaviour but not know what it is.
      They may not necessarily see the ‘wrong’ behaviours (although that would be unusual) as the ‘wrong’ behaviours are applied elsewhere. They may perhaps only see a part of the ‘wrong’ behaviour and the worst of the behaviour is exhibited elsewhere.

  10. How do I identify my narc? I know they are not a lesser but I’m caught between mid ranger and greater although in your videos you say greaters are very rare but that doesn’t make it impossible. If you could give some insight into how to identify this that would be great thanks. Feel free to email me

    1. I left my narc in March of this year. I think he’s somewhere between lesser & mid-range. A few feeble attempts to Hoover in the first month. Nothing lately except Happy Mother’s Day today. He hasn’t tried too hard to suck me back in. He had women on Tinder & Snapchat a month & a half before I left. Since he hasn’t put up much of a fight, any chance he’s moved on for awhile & I have time to strengthen my defenses??

      1. Your situation depends on what position you hold in the fuel matrix, what other appliances are in the fuel matrix, his fuel levels and how easy it is to hoover you. He may well be focussed elsewhere but in order to give you an accurate analysis, I need more information from you and therefore you would be best served organising a consultation with me, so I can help you further.

        https://narcsite.com/private-e-mail-consultation/
        https://narcsite.com/private-audio-consultation/

  11. Let us assume that narcissism on the fifth or sixth date begins to accuse us of dishonesty and lies and suddenly all our traits that he used to admire suddenly begin to disturb him. I think it is too soon to end the golden period.
    1.Is the reason why the narcissist changed so quickly from good to bad may be that he came to the conclusion and was convinced that he had already convinced his victim, she fell in love with him and assumed that the victim will not break up with him?
    2. If the victim pretended more inaccessible, would the golden period last longer?
    3. If the narcissist ends the golden period and begins to accuse his victim of wrong things when they do not even kissed or hug (any closeness) or the reason for such behavior may be that the narcissist assumed that the victim does not like intimacy or sex for some reason, for example the victim is younger than the narcissist or less experienced?
    4. if the narcissus does not aim for closeness or is not interested in sex, the reason may be that the narcissist simply does not like such closeness or is it adapted to a given victim? If there was another victim of the narcissus, would he be more willing to be close?

    1. Your scenario means that you will still be an IPSS and therefore the accusations are either a test as part of the ongoing seduction (to test if the seduction is enabling control to be established) or if they are particularly scathing in nature, something has occurred to cause the narcissist to go on the attack and halt the seduction.

  12. I have a sibling who has had two strokes. We tried to help. He refused all rehab, accused us of stealing from him and then accused the rehab place of making him go home without helping.

    1. Does he refuse help because it makes him dependent/submitting to another, such as the physical therapist?

    2. What does he get out of falsely accusing those he needed help from?

    3. After refusing help and falsely accusing, he then sends messages that he needs our help. Why?

    4. How do I not feel guilty for going No Contact with him when he’s in poor health?

    5. Does poor health or facing death change anything?

    Thank you for your perspective.

  13. I’ve spent the last decade caring for him and our 3 young children only for him to leave us 3 months ago in a rage because of me requiring boundaries once and for all. His threats to disappear and abandon the children rather than dealing with me have been frequent. He says if “I can’t have you I want nothing to do with you (including the children)” he is in therapy although very much still in denial. What are the chances he will compromise his ego to have a relationship with his kids or is it more likely for him to vanish on us all?

    1. It depends on his school of narcissism and therefore you would be best placed engaging this
      https://narcsite.com/narc-detector/
      thereafter I would be in a better position to advise you what to expect from him with regard to your children and you.In broad terms, the existence of children act as a Hoover Trigger and therefore increase the risk of being hoovered. The narcissist will engage with the children so long as it proves of use to him to do so (i.e. it is not done out of any sense of unconditonal obligation as a parent) but is done to fulfill the Prime Aims (fuel, character traits, residual benefits (such as the facade).

  14. I was discarded this fall and he was engaged to his new supply 3 months after. He continues to call me pathetic and crazy.
    Do they always come back?
    How long do they stay with one supply?
    How can I get him to come back?

    1. 1. If the person is a narcissist, then if there is a Hoover Trigger and the Hoover Execution Criteria are met – yes.
      2. There are different appliances in a narcissist’s fuel matrix.
      3. You cannot. Moreover, you should not do so, assuming the individual is a narcissist.

  15. I know that narcs follow the cycle which he has maybe 4 or 5 times . So in the past two years it was a case of me begging then eventually him giving in and taking me back, for him to then discard me again. The last 2 times he has discarded me he has come back asking to talk and yes ive gone back, this was after me basically begging to talk and then giving up. Suprise suprise he has discarded me again. When does a narc stop the cycle? Is it likely he will come back again?

    1. 1. There is always a risk of the narcissist returning.
      2. The extent of the risk depends on numerous factors, but there is always a risk.

      To understand the situation with regard to your circumstances, I advocate that you organise an audio consultation.

  16. HG,
    A few short questions for you.

    1. Does narcissists have in-group bias meaning they will recognise and support each other? For instance help with promotions etc. I have a feeling they view each other as people who can “get things done” in contrast to the rest of us.

    2. You are confident when you identify others as narcissists. Seems almost like when you identifies empaths. How quick/easy is it for you to identify a narcissist you meet IRL or someone who is a public figure?

    3. Would you share with us how you do it, what you look for, listen to or otherwise pick up? It would be helpful for us potential victims to have this skill :).

    I have read “Fuel” now. Brilliant book, and very eye-opening. I have now started with “Sitting Target”. You are an awesome writer. If you keep writing books I will keep buying them.

    1. 1. No. This is because the majority of narcissists do not know what they are. Those that do (Greaters) will always do what is right for them and this may mean utilising another narcissist in a constructive fashion.
      2. It varies but usually within 30 minutes of dealing with them, sometimes less.
      3. I do. It is called reading my work here and organising a Date Defender Consultation.
      4. Thank you. You have a few to get through yet before needing new work from me!

      1. Thanks HG,
        I understand the issue with self-awareness. But even though someone is not self-aware of their narcissism they might be aware of others being similar to them. But if I understand you correctly it would not matter since the narcissistic bias is towards the self and not towards “like-minded” as a group.

        I am going through your work, it is extensive for sure, and I learn a lot. I hope I will be able to identify narcissists quickly as well. Not as quick as 30 minutess maybe, but better than 6 years :).

  17. Question: would a narcissist admit he has/is manipulated/lied/self-centered and seek help in hopes of making himself and the relationship better? Or is that just a little ploy to try and get me off his back?

    Question: is a narcissist capable of having a meaningful/honest/respectful relationship? He knows I have become more solid in my boundaries….will he just become more deceitful to keep up the game?

    1. It is a further manipulation.

      The relationship can never be meaningful for you, honest for you, or respectful for you (based on your persepctive) with a narcissist. Hence GOSO.

      1. Thanks for your prompt reply. IF I were to show your answer to this person, what do you envisage his response to be?

        1. You are welcome.

          It is pointless to do so.

          A Greater would recognise it but make no admission so as to preserve power and would be dismissive in a charming manner.
          Lesser or Mid Range are incapable of recognising it and they would respond with some form of denial.

          1. Keep in mind the caustic venom you’re going to be assaulted with (mando) an accompanying script-flip if he/she suspects you are implying you believe they are even similar let alone fit the narcissistic bill…. at best, you’ll probably be given some kind of educational monologue on what kind of crap you’re looking at online; the inferior value the person you clearly are more into than you are him is as evidenced by the “intimate” conversation between you; and how you have wounded him but he’s sure somehow he’ll find a way to forgive and forget how you’ve betrayed his confidence in you and maybe someday rebuild the trust, etc…..

  18. Can a narcissistic boss at work accuse an employee of losing a invoice to make him feel guilty?
    Let’s assume the employee delivered the invoice to the boss’s room. The boss has the invoice in the drawer but lies to the employee that he cannot find it and asks where the invoice is.
    1.Do you think this could happen to make an employee feel guilty and think he is a bad employee?
    2. Does such behavior always benefit the boss or can it turn against him?
    3. Have you ever seen a situation then the boss accused the employee of something he didn’t do, for example, stealing ?

    1. 1. Yes.
      2. Both although of course if he is a narcissist, his narcissism will fight against the attempt to turn it against him.
      3. Yes.

  19. I don’t post, ever. I’m not even sure this will work. But know, I am desperate for answers. Why on earth am I in this hell? I am a woman married 35 years. My husband, a successful career in finance for over 30 years. We have two gorgeous kids. We are good people. We travel, enjoy family and friends, we give back.

    Five years ago I had a knock at my door. It was the devil and I unknowingly answered it. Without going into all the boring details of the predictable pattern, I am hooked into a down trodden, low life, narcissist. He has consumed me against ALL odds. I’m all over the board with the emotions. He’s everything I never valued and yet I can’t stop thinking about him.

    So why pray tell did this happen to me and what am I to do about it?

    1. In broad terms :-0

      1. You were a suitable target for the narcissist for the reasons set out in the book Sitting Target. You have an addiction to the narcissist which your emotional thinking is driving you to preserve by keeping you engaging with him.
      2. You impose no contact.

      To achieve this you will need my material and assistance. Organise a GOSO consultation with me and the process of achieving your freedom will begin.

  20. I’ve been reading and listening to you for quite some time. I’ve been involved with narcissists my entire life and now finally, thanks to your sharing of knowledge, been able to free myself from your kind. I’m 54 years old. Married my first narcissist at 16. When that ended,
    after 24 years, I became involved, yet again for nearly 10 years. Another shorter term of a couple years. I’m now at the point I don’t want a relationship. I don’t trust myself to choose correctly even after the knowledge I have gained. How does an empath, like myself learn to trust their own judgement? We know what we are attracted to and that it is destructive. How do we move on in a constructive way?

    1. Recognising red flags, maintaining a low level of emotional thinking so you act on the red flags and putting in place Logic Defences – I can assist you with those through consultation.

    2. Tammy
      You have to also be willing and open to the idea of soul searching to find out if you also have suppressed and unresolved issues that lead up to or as a result of that caused you to succumb to pleasing others at your own expense. YOU matter too. You will gain trust within your choices again once you become whole again. As HG has so kindly done for all of us empaths, by answering all of our unanswered questions, head shakes, mind blown perceptions of the Narcs reality that are so incredibly inconceivable to us as only he can using cold hard logic. eventually you will come to realize that there has to be more to life than living with someone who wants to destroy you erode your health cripple your individuality you’ll get to the point of stability and standing y’all and nobody will be able to erase you ever again. YOU are the only one that can break the cycle God Bless you in this journey to peace.

  21. Do narcissist have many sexual contacts with work colleagues? I read an article that narcissists and psychopaths have sex with colleagues after work. Is that true?

  22. If my ex has come back once already and we will as together for 14 years later total, she is now 33. This time I called her out on her lies and other men and many more things. I left the house and she lied and filed a protective order based on messages she hacked in my accounts to create. She got the order for six months. Has blamed it all on me saying I went crazy. Is she done with me for good or will she still try to come back yet again. I have never told her no and always taken care of her. I even saved her life when she died from a seizure due to a blood clot in her brain. And took care of her till she was better. While she was sick I found out she was talking to exs of hers flirting after I saved her life. I handled it wrong and cheated. She found out and I came clean about everything. Spent 9 months of hell from her begging for her to come back then she took everything from me. Sorry for it being so long. But will she stay away or still try to come back again in the future??

    1. There is always a risk of a hoover. Whether it occurs depends on there being a Hoover Trigger and whether the Hoover Execution Criteria are met. For assistance with your personal situation, I need more information and need to convey more information therefore you should organise a consultation (see the menu bar).

  23. Hi HG, in your opinion is there such a thing as narcissistic collapse? And what does that look like?

  24. I’m fascinated and really appreciate your candor. Your insight into your inner mechanisms is astounding. I can see you have grown though your writings as I read a bit of your earlier blogs then compared to now. I’ve been drawn to this subject as I’m currently the victim of a smear campaign by my sister in law. It involves my husbands sister against me primarily, and my husband. We are now isolated from his family. It’s not straight forward because its not a romantic relationship. This woman has never been particularly important to me and I have been polite but indicated my lack of priority for our relationship as I recognised what she was immediately. She struck when I was most vulnerable after a stillbirth and my questions are do narcacists wait for traumas like this to strike and how do a handle my husband being hoovered again? He says he is going no contact but hes persistently entertaining contact from her main supporter.

    1. 1. Greater calculate the strike, all other narcissists would do so instinctively.
      2. Re your husband – this is a matter for consultation given the detail involved.

      1. Thank you HG. I suspect I’m the magnet empath. The family have been torn between the dark and light..and I’m struggling with a sudden need for pay back.

  25. Fantastic writings and insight you give. I’m glad I found this resource. The human mind is fascinating.

    I’m interested in reading more about how weaponising empaths to go in to battle with your kind is in accordance with your world view.

    Could you expound on that? I’m guessing it’s to provide more fuel, but is there more to it?

    1. It supports my omnipotence.

      It is nothing to do with fuel. Read the book by the same name and at the same time as gaining excellent insight and information you will learn why it is not about the fuel.

  26. I am truly amazed. Remarkable, really! Anyway, here is a question I have, Mr. Tudor:
    Why do I see my ex husband (used to see) narcissist of 22 years cry, really have real tears, over television shows? And he’s not mirroring my behavior. I know without a doubt he is a big time narc.

  27. How do you find time to write articles, answer comments, make videos and write your books and also make consultation? How do you find time also for your victims and other people?

  28. Hi. I just discovered you a few minutes ago and am intrigued. I finally escaped my narcissistic ex of 18 years, a couple years ago, and my narcissistic church a few months ago. Now my life is incredibly incredible. I finally get to grow.
    Question for you. Probably the first of many as I get to know your writings. Is it possible for someone to have a narcissistic traits without being a narcissist? Also, is it possible to be narcissistic without being aware of what you’re doing? I could easily be convinced that my ex could’ve possibly felt remorse had he realized what he was doing.

    Thank you so much for your candor and availability. Your presence here is encouraging.

      1. Forgive me if I am repeating myself, but I appear to have lost my last Comment to you. Maybe it did post. I don’t know.

        I would be interested to hear your take on Patricia Evans’s books. Specifically, The Verbally Abusive Man, and Controlling People. Thank you.

        1. Please note comments go into moderation, therefore they do not appear immediately.

          I do not know of those books and doubt I will have need or opportunity to read them. What is your view about those publications?

  29. I feel like I have come across the devil’s own website.

    I have many questions and I’m not sure how many you will answer. Befitting it being Easter Sunday, I will ask the following:

    1) Do you believe in God, Satan or a higher power? And is this your own personal belief, or do all UGN believe the same?
    2) Do you believe people have souls and do you think you have one? If so, where do you think your soul goes after death? And is it the same place the soul of a ‘good person’ would go?
    3) Do you believe in psychic ability or demonic possession?
    4) What is your worldview that makes you want to empower empaths?
    5) Do narcissists ever get depressed and/or commit suicide?
    6) How is it you have so much self-awareness? It appears to be even more than ‘normal’ people.
    7) How do you have so much insight into people? Perhaps it’s because you have studied them in order to perfect your own dark art.

    I’m strangely interested in you. Which one of your books speaks about you, your own personal experiences, and what makes you operate the way you do?

    1. Hello DP,

      I have answered all of these questions elsewhere, since you are new here, I will indulge you and answer you but they will be brief.

      1. No, but I do when it suits my purposes.
      2. No, but I do when it suits my purposes. When you die, that’s it.
      3. No.
      4. Hegemonic domination and omnipotence.
      5. Yes.
      6. Intelligence, natural ability, discipline, drive, access to information.
      7. Same as 6 and necessity.
      Read Fuel, Fury and all of the Confessions series. To start.

      1. HG, maybe it would be good to have a Frequently Asked Questions you can refer new readers to. This may save your fingers further.

  30. Isn’t the fact that you are a narcissistic sociopath tell a person you cannot possibly be trusted with anything you say here, as part of the very definition of your disorder is to lie manipulate and twist truth. Your kind can’t grlp themselves. Don’t you think it’s foolish for anyone to take what you say to heart gucennyour very diagnosis?

    1. I can’t figure out how to edit, I need to correct the word “grlp” I meant *help, and “gucennyour” I meant *given your.

    2. No.
      On the contrary, they must take to heart (and more importantly mind) what I write and explain because it is my work and only my work that will grant freedom.

      Read the work. Read the comments. Read the testimonials. Read the evidence. See how many people recognise the accuracy of my work. See how many people it has assisted. Do not make baseless assumptions.

  31. If all those of us on the empathic side of the spectrum have narcissistic traits, to varying degrees, do narcissists have varying degrees of empathic traits and simply choose not to use them?

    Do you have empathic traits, but use your considerable superiority as a narcissist to ignore those traits except when the construct requires them?

    If no, shouldn’t it follow that some of us empaths have no narcissistic traits?

    I recognize that I have many narcissistic traits and I completely reject them and (when possible) refuse to let them show.

      1. Hi, Lisa if Mr. Tudor doesn’t mind, I’d like to elaborate just a touch. From what I learned from, HG ( Thank You, Sir) Because Narcissist are Not wired to feel love, joy, etc. Because of their emotional abuse as a child has somehow someway, they grew up without the ability to feel empathy, love, joy, ect. So, in answer to your first question there you have it, they can’t. Literally . Ever. (I actually cried when I read that.) And no, A true Empath ( I knew I was one, but thanks to HG, I’ve learned I am a Supernova Empath. ( Thank You, Again, Sir.) .Empaths ARE JUST THAT in all manner, empathetic, etc, as you know since you are one. You may be born, (?) An Empath, but Narcissism is created during childhood . You cannot “become”a narcissist. On a personal note, my childhood was a 1000 times worse then what I have learned of Mr. Tudors, why did I not become a Narcissist? But, an SN Empath. I don’t know . More research is current.

          1. Hi Mr Tudor,

            I am aware if the nature’s of Astronomy. I was using it only in the same fashion as in your articles . Sorry for the misunderstanding .

      2. Okay thank you. I’ve been obsessively consuming the information you’ve shared with us and you do come across like you care, just enough to really want us to understand that you don’t. There could be any number of reasons why; regardless, thank you for letting us in.

    1. Lisa
      You say completely reject them. So you don’t believe in a healthy amount of narcissism? For example having pride? I don’t relate narcissistic traits to negativity (haha, I heard a lot of “of course you don’t muttered). Seriously though, don’t you think it is the narcissistic traits in part that are what allows us to disengage and keep us from being ensnared again? That allow self preservation?

      1. That’s possibly why I haven’t managed yet. I only escaped my ex husband by involving child protection and forcing myself into a position where I could not delude myself into thinking I could save him and them.

        I’m the proverbial runner with the broken leg. I have no sense of self preservation. I save myself by saving others and that is where my pride trips me up, actually. It’s the one thing I’m very narcissistic about. I stubbornly believe that I can save everyone, if I only understand them enough to know how.

      2. To elaborate on this… whenever I do keep myself from harm, it’s because I feel I owe it to the people who love me. Not out of a desire to protect the self.

  32. Imagine that the boss at work is a narcissist and he or she manipulates his employees. I have two questions.
    1. Does the boss gain fuel dismissing (fire) one of his employees?
    2. Does the boss is wounded when his employee left work due to the boss’s fault (for example)?

    1. 1. Depends on the response of the employee, but usually yes.
      2. Depends how the departure occurs.

  33. Hello HG, my Narc ex used his work at the office as a hunting ground. He met a lot of women that he engaged with intimitly. At this moment he has no job for some months now. Will this cause problems for him in his fuell matrix? He has a IPPS and she knows about the affairs he had. So she is on guard now. He is a Midranger. Can this cause a crises for him? And what will this do regarding the dynamcs towards the Narcissist and his IPPS?

    1. 1. It will adversely impact on his fuel matrix.
      2. His response might be to shift hunting ground – maybe go virtual to hunt there instead.
      3. He will also be forced to rely on different sources for fuel (if they exist).
      4. If the IPPS has remained she will still be fuelling him.
      5. I doubt he will have a fuel crisis.

  34. My ex is somewhere in the crosshairs of ULN & LGN. Very smart, very manipulative, lacking excessive charm and completely unmotivated to live a life greater than the LLN. Physically and sexually violent. But hella smart.

    I left him one day as he napped on the sofa. We share children.

    Because of these laws he broke, there will be 5 years of legally enforced no contact.

    My question for you is, will this be enough time for him to forget about me? Will he ever leave me alone?

    He’s the type to slink along the edge of his legal boundaries. He was stalking recently in ways that aren’t specifically illegal but seems to have stopped since his parole officer spoke to him.

    My noticing it and having his PO confront him was almost certainly the fuel he was seeking, but I didn’t feel safe saying nothing about it.

    1. There is always a risk of a hoover until the day the narcissist dies or you die, but there is much you can do to reduce that risk. I recommend you consult with me and I can assist you.

  35. I feel gross thanking a narcissist for anything, but it is what it is. So, thanks.

    I’ve known about narcissism for a long time, because I was married to one (lesser).

    My next rs was with someone seemingly completely opposite but your videos have helped me finally get past that (8 months after discard) by seeing that he is just a different brand of narcissist (MRN).

    I don’t particularly like you because of the things you’ve done, but I respect what you’re doing now.

      1. You’re dangerously sociable, charming, and friendly. It’s been but a week, and I actually like you quite a bit now.

        Your honesty here sets you apart.

        It’s quite the amazing redemption arc the good doctors have set you on.

  36. 1.When you go on a first date, do you ask your victim many questions? Like a copper – police questioning? Or you let your victim open up slowly?
    2. Do you think that all narcissists behave the same way?
    (sorry for my poor English skills) 😉

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Read and understand all about narcissists from the best source possible. A narcissist himself.

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