About

Hello,

Welcome to Knowing the Narcissist.

I am H G Tudor. I am a narcissistic sociopath (some state psychopath – this remains a matter of debate by the profession concerning the current application of sociopath or psychopath).

By my terminology I am a Greater Elite Narcissist. You will learn here what that means along with all about the other types of narcissists and empaths too.

I convey this is an effective manner based on my perspective. I know what I am and I know the best way to communicate this to you. I am a very effective communicator.

I write extensively about what this means and what I am. I have practised this dark art for many years, I have honed and crafted my abilities. I am aware of what I am and I am engaged in understanding why I am this way and why I act as I do. I am sharing these ongoing revelations.

I know my kind in considerable detail. I have several family members who are narcissists and have engaged with numerous in my life. I know the way my kind think, why we act as we do, say what we say and so much more. I understand why we target our victims and how we go about it. I comprehend why our victims think and act as they do. I have had many, watched many and listened to many. This allows me to build a formidable body of knowledge about not only my kind, but the people we engage with.

I am currently engaged in treatment which has been forced upon me. As part of this treatment and because I enjoy writing, I have been encouraged to share my knowledge. This is to engender a greater awareness of what I am on my part and also to allow the world an unrivalled view of the mind and actions of a narcissistic sociopath.

I do this because I like to write. I like to interact with people. I want to be the number one source for the reality of how my kind think and behave. I also find the weaponising of empaths and having them go into battle with my kind entirely in accordance with my worldview.

I do not do this for fuel. I do gain some fuel from the comments but since those who comment are tertiary sources (see the book Fuel for more) it is not significant. I gain far more fuel in my interactions in my private life.

I am direct. I do not speak in scientific terms. I welcome enquiring minds and those who want answers. I will give them to you. You will not gain understanding like this from anywhere else. I encourage you to read my articles and extensive collection of books which can be found on Amazon. I encourage you to contribute, ask questions and offer your own views. I read everything that is submitted to me and answer all questions, thus if your post does not appear straight away, please understand that it is in moderation and is either receiving or awaiting my attention.

The number of comments and hits are testament to the need for my knowledge and the huge usefulness many people have found from it. You will too.

Welcome on board. You will now Know the Narcissist.

HG Tudor

 

 

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497 thoughts on “About”

  1. After reading several of your books and many blogs, perhaps this brief introduction would have been a better beginning. Although the quest for clarity often twists through winding roads doesn’t it? For two years, my time has been spent voraciously searching for answers to explain someone very like you. Someone once very near and dear. Everything I’ve read led to one name…….. Sociopath.
    You are correct in concluding this type has an uncanny ability to sense those previously exposed and exploited. Many years of my time were previously spent under the thumb of a narcissist.

    A brief description of the differences in my observations is this: The narcissist was demanding, controlling, entitled, had illusions of grandeur, was occasionally abusive, and tantrums we’re frequent. He was however, upfront in his dealings, lacked deception, or sexual deviancy and was responsible financially.

    The sociopath was smooth, charming, deceptive, ruthless, sexually deviant, incestuous, incapable of honesty to any great extent, masterful in the art of gaslighting, triangulation and compartmentalizing. Seamlessly kept multiple relationships separate and hidden. He was extraordinarily irresponsible financially, or morally, and parasitically used others for the appearance of being otherwise.

    All sociopaths are narcissists, but not all narcissists are sociopaths. Narcissist only scratches the surface of what you are. Simplistic. Have you considered using the introduction from this page in your books? It may clarify the ensuing content for the reader.

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  2. HG I am in full no contact mode. I took my ex narc to court for a restraining order and lost in court. He showed up and played the victim. His lawyer shamed me in court and I blacked out and could not speak. I was hyper vigilant already. I discarded him but he made it appear, in court, as though he discarded me. I don’t care about any of that anymore. I just want him to disappear from my life forever. Because he thinks (or maybe he doesn’t) that he discarded me and because I did file the restraining order (it’s on record) and he knows I’ll take him back to court if he contacts me again, do you think I am safe now? Any suggestions on how I can further protect myself? I am the only person in his life that knows exactly what he is. I assume he may be afraid I’ll expose him some more? Again, my only goal is to get rid of him forever.

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  3. It is understandable why you write much about the narc in relationships. But I’d love to get your take on stranger or acquaintance stalking by malignant narcs. Have you ever engaged in such behavior and what insights do you have? a couple blog posts on such a topic would elucidate a common issue as well as add breadth to your blog!
    Sincere thanks and hope you can share such info.

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  4. Hello Mr. Tudor,
    I came across your videos and won’t stop watching and reading. I have been reading about the subject for 7 years now in different languages and this is the best I have found so far since it does not just talk about victims and suffering but understanding the various narcs. I have been with narcs of various ranges for 30 years and my father is a mid-range somatic, aged 90 and still looking handsome. I don’t know how I can help my mother though, she stays with him even though he is nasty and demeaning… I have so many questions also about fuel. Defition of fuel (synonyms) energy? essence? Does it have to be specifically directed at you or can you grasp it from let’s say people mourning at a funeral or watching family members argue loudly… Thank you for your response if you may grant me with one. You are much apreciated.

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  5. I like you say it to the point. I’m having difficulty wrapping my head around this.. I’ve only had three relationships in 52 years . I know it’s me, daddy issues etc. How do you break this cycle? I don’t want to be jaded. They mess with your head. It’s awful.

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  6. I have a narcissist “friend” who comes around for about three of four days every month when he is feeling at his worst and talks to me. He spills his guts about what’s going on, from his perspective. I listen and nod and agree. He’s reached the point where he even talks about what’s going on with me, and how I feel. He has even started apologizing when he’s rude. But then I feel a change in the wind and he is unavailable for talking. It has gotten to the point I just tell him he’s too busy with his fans and image and I’ll talk to him again when he comes down from his cloud. It’s kind of a joke. He just laughs and says “ok.” If I’m ok with this, and he’s ok with this, doesn’t that make our friendship work? I’m getting from him, admittedly on his time, and I could never go to him for help, but I’ve never had anyone to go to for help.

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  7. I wonder, is there a reason that some of my newer comments on articles here have popped through, but that my older ones, especially the ones with questions for HG are still in moderation after a few days?

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      1. Thank you for the clarification. I look forward to seeing them appear, and your responses.

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  8. I have gone no contact for 3 weeks now but we have an 18 month old daughter. My question is will he try to use her to get to me? I do not want her little life upset by him , he isn’t even remotely interested in her at the minute and hasn’t been since she was born. He has a new victim so im wondering if he will come back or not the not knowing is having a negative impact on my life.

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    1. Hello Maggie, there are various potential outcomes with regard to your scenario based on the school of narcissist he is, whether you were the IPPS or not, whether he is with a new IPPS, the extent to which you are still in contact with him and other factors. To give you the accurate insight based on your situation I would need more information and that is best achieved through a consultation.

      I would state that since he has not shown any interest so far this would suggest he is likely to be a Lesser Narcissist and if he as a new IPPS he will be focused on this person and is highly likely to continue to show no interest. Thus you will have a period of respite from him. You have a risk however when devaluation of the IPPS commences as this will prompt hoovers and a child forms both an activator for a Hoover Trigger and also an avenue to then effect the hoover. I can provide you with far more certainty concerning the situation with more information.

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  9. How do you mean that treatment “has been forced upon” you? Also, how did you first gain insight, accept what you were told about yourself, regarding being a narcissist? I thought that, by definition, that it was impossible for a narcissists to know or believe this about themselves.

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    1. Hello Carol,

      1. My family wanted me to undergo treatment for various reasons, they did so based on certain threats and allegations. I agreed to doing it based on securing certain aims of my own.
      2. In part post university, then following this as I gained more knowledge as I observed and learned and then latterly through the therapy.
      3. A common misconception. Lesser and Mid Range do not know what they are. Greaters do. It is simplistic and erroneous to think that all narcissists are exactly the same.

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    2. I thought that too , my Narcissist husband always denied his Status
      IHe has said he believes he is a good person , and that I am the evil one ..
      I have fought him over our divorce and I really feel that I am the Bar person and not him .
      Why do I feel like this

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  10. I am an Art Historian and Art Dealer. I (miraculously) survived narc abuse. HG is now coaching you all into paying for his “services” ( that is: what he stole from previous targets). I really he sounds sexy: he probably is. Truth is: he is leaning on his “mummy’.

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  11. I am not sure why I am here. I guess the universe conspired. I find your writings fascinating and you bluntness enticing. I may or may not have had a very long relationship with one of your kind. Or maybe I am myself one ?! Still trying to find answers.

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      1. I know. I always find myself where I should be, whether I like it or not. I will most certainly come back with questions. Have a lovely day, Tudor XD

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  12. Hello, dear Mr. Tudor,
    I have just listened to the Out of the box radio interviews, and – only for the case that you didn´t try it already – I would like to say how helpful a systemic family constellation can be.
    I did that about ten years ago and remember how nice it was to be able to see my mother from a distance, as a person not being my mother, but only an individual, without any relation being there to me. That was such a good kind of freedom that I felt.

    I don´t know how old you are. I am 50 years old. I wish I could turn back time. I would then share the love and the backbone of my dad with you 🙂

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  13. As a self confess co-dependant searching for understanding, I stumbled across your books on amazon recently. After reading one of your books I’m amazed at the level of understanding I’ve gained from your writings – it is paradoxically both, excruciatingly painful yet insightfully empowering. I want to hate you and thank you at the same time. As you know, my kind like answers and what perplexes me about you – why would you want to write books that gives freedom to the people that you enjoy to persecute?

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    1. But I don’t persecute you personally do I? There are 7 billion people on the planet, I am not going to run out of victims. Ever. I enjoy writing and weaponising you empaths to go into battle with my brethren (whom I owe no loyalty) which accords to my Pupper Master role and sense of omnipotence. I am pleased that you found the book you read of use to you and I hope you continue to read more.

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  14. HG Tudor ever thought of starting a cult? Looks like you have some converts here. This is all immensely disturbing, you speak like a Svengali , it’s hilarious. You talk like we are too stupid to figure you people out on our own and need you to ‘ weaponise’ us……lmfao, the ego on it!

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    1. I love the way he “writes”
      He is passionate, mysterious, and very moving. He teaches about his kind, he is not talking to us like we are stupid. HE is talking to us like he would talk to anyone. That is one of their traits. They are “better” than anyone else. Yes he has an immense ego! Sounds like you have one as well.
      The internet is a wonderful place to share information and also a place for insecure people to harass and bad talk others without ever being seen or confronted in person.
      Would you speak to him this way in person?
      IF so, I really do feel sorry for you!
      He is doing more than most of his kind do, He knows what he is and he is using his “evil powers” to help himself and teach others about his kind.
      They are very dangerous people.

      But, unbelievably fascinating at the same time.
      I love you Tudor, my little monster

      And yes, I am defending him. Not that he give a S&%$ about what you say or what I say. But, it makes me feel better to talk good about what he is doing. I look up to him. Not because of his illness, but because he is speaking openly about it and like I said, NAR’s do NOT do this.
      There is nothing wrong with them you know!
      smh

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  15. Hi HG. I have bought and read several of your books and found them absolutely fascinating. That was after discovering you on Quora. Is there any reason you stopped writing on Quora late last year?

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  16. I’ve already read some of your and a few other articles on narcissism. Recently, I’ve been trying to come to terms with my past and the emotional abuse I’ve been suffering during a short but intense acquaintance (not sure how I should call it, we were just meeting frequently for a few months).

    So as part of that I’m trying to understand better why he behaved the way he did and I found that he has many pronounced narcissistic traits: very controlling, jealous, possessive, easily offended but constantly mocking and denigrating others, self-complacency, pretension, arrogance,…
    His hubris was nowhere justified though, he just completely overestimated himself and seemed so self-assured and yet so vulnerable.

    In other words, he had all the negative narcissistic traits, which were visible from the very beginning, while lacking the more attracting ones.
    He had many other disorders too, though, which he literally boasted about. He claimed he was schizophrenic, too.
    His delusions primarily concerned me dissing him and secretly meeting other guys, that I’m fucking plenty others but not him. So it’s hard to tell if he seriously was psychotic, or his vulnerability and and excessive self-importance just made him believe all that, and used the psychosis as an “excuse” after feeling ashamed about the tantrums he would regularly throw.

    Now, I’m wondering if someone like that would still identify as a narcissist, someone who greatly lacks hallmark traits like charm, flattery, wittiness and seductive qualities, while displaying mainly the negative ones.
    To me it almost seemed as if he didn’t even regard all his flaws and his crude attitude as such, but as something positive or tried to sell it as such.

    The only charming thing perhaps was that he would give me lots of attention and compliments (only to denigrate and insult me shortly afterwards).
    He could be charming, but those moments were rare, since he was apparently convinced (or tried to convince me) that he was already perfect the way he was.
    I guess the main thing that pulled my attention to him was this paradoxical nature, with which I partly identified, which intrigued me.

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  17. Whether you’re really a narcissist or this is just an incredibly brilliant way to teach others – you’re bloody fascinating. (Pardon the vampire reference there.) 😉

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  18. I could never understand how my ex narcissist boyfriend is so friendly and never nasty to one of his female friends (as opposed to her being a girlfriend). When I questioned him why he is so nice to her he says “she understands me”. What a load of BS. I did everything for him yet I copped the abuse, the blatant use of intimidation, the threats, the in your face annihilation. To this day I can’t get my head around it. It’s like he chooses to behave nice to her despite me being his partner. She couldn’t understand it either.

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  19. I I have been binge reading and watching all the videos that I can find on this subject. I am so glad that I somehow stumbled onto your site. I wouldn’t even know where to start to tell my story.There are so many things that I have minimized (verbal abuse), explained away (silent treatment, disappearances, threats) or even refused to believe (chatting with other women AFTER he cheated and he told me in advance that he was going to do it because he wanted to) in order to give my husband of nearly twenty one years the benefit of the doubt. By doing so suppressing my own gut feelings and my own value. I still don’t want to believe what I’m now beginning to understand, but I can no longer deny it either. I cannot excuse it away.
    There have been so many ‘rumors’ (as my husband likes to call them) started over the years and brought to my attention involving other women. I have seen the calls on the phone bill and caught him texting and even found out about him driving 6 hours to see yet another. He always says it’s lies or if he can wiggle out of it .. the other women are to blame/crazy. Yet, I am called a b#@!& for calling him out and accused of snooping or whatever. My question is if all these other women are wanted so much (usually women from his past) why does he insist on keeping me? We do have three kids, I was for the most part a stay at home mom.

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  20. In regards to a mid-range narcissist how would this person react to a judge issuing very limited visitation to his new-born infant in which he thought was going to be extensive? Also what are your kinds regards towards infants and children in general and how would a mid-range narcissist act when the child does not act in the way that they want? And is there anything that I can do to counteract possible harmful behavior?

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    1. That would wound him.
      See the articles Impregnated and Save the Children.
      The child would be subjected to a corrective devaluation.
      Yes, read Manipulated, Fuel, Escape and No Contact along with the aforementioned Save the Children.

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  21. Was writing some late night poetry and here I am entering your blog of so called evil. English is not my native language, but here we go: Body/human with a complete damaged soul (did you not know your true self/spirit was the only thing to keep away from the human world; you let it crawl all over you, this abandoned world, the crazy world of humans. I long to go back to where I came from. You don’t know what I am. Since I was a child I carried with me knowledge of what I am. I never wanted any of this. On the surface I’m a charming, very intuitive empath, but nobody knows what’s inside me, no human I’ve ever met got a clue of anything real, they are limited by their self, their personal abbreviation of earth is all they see. No connection to this world and yet I’m here, you would definitely call me an empath if you knew me, but the truth is: I don’t care at all about the entire human world, I just want to go home. We’re both only half human, but you are made of earth, I’m not. I have tried to love so much that I almost lost my spirit, only thing to do for someone like me, the only urge that could bring me up to the surface. Unwanted selfish hands has been all over me metaphorically speaking since birth was given to me. Fragile (you call it evil) is the body and the selfish, narrow mind of humans. I don’t understand why I’m here in the first place, because I never wanted to. You see, I know I could have had it all with my good looks and winning style, but it was a fake world and I’m just not interested. Deep connection, deep thoughts, out of the box minds is probably the only thing I find amusing here in this dry, boring world. I would like a reply from you, and then, just if you do so, I will tell a story from my life. I’m gone for now. K

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  22. Hi. A few days ago I found your channel on youtube and I watch your videos and read your articles, I’m fascinated with what you do, the way you write, and I think my narcissist is one of your kind, and I am definitely a IPSS, but I’m confused by the fact that she confessed to me what she is, she revealed herself to me, very proud, but I have to act as if I do not know anything. I do not understand why she did it. After a while I left her and she told me to get rid of her, she does not want to let me go but she does not want to hurt me anymore and she warned me that when she looks for me I will not listen to her, then she has searched for me and tried to make me feel guilty for leave her. It’s all part of the game, right?

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  23. Hello Mr. Tudor,

    I am officially on one week of no contact with my narcissistic ex. I read many of your books this past week and they have helped me so much. I feel a lot better finally understanding why the relationship was the way it was. He started to Hoover me again in July and I noticed the same patterns of his behavior. I blocked him from my phone and social media as you suggested. I finally realized he was never going to change as he always tearfully told me he would.

    I have a question for you, since you wrote these books, has it affected your social life? Meaning, now that woman are aware you are a narcissist, are they hesitant to get into a relationship with you?

    Thank you again for your wonderful insight.

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    1. You are welcome Nett and welcome on board. Well done with the start of your no contact, you are in the right place to maintain it. None of the women I meet in my private life know what I am.

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      1. hahahaha of course they do not!
        Well, the no contact does not work for everyone you know.
        There are other ways to get away FOREVER , or until I decide to return
        sounds like games, but more like power that I have and the lesser Nar is pathetic to deal with, boring !!!

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  24. Hi… I’ve been dealing with this guy who pathologically lies, cheats, can be cruel, will go silent for days, weeks or months for a reason or no reason at all. I figure out that he’s a sociopath over a year ago. He’s never wanted to spend any quality time with me ( just spending nights with him) or lunch when we worked together. He only texts or emails me… hardly ever called me. But he won’t totally discard me no matter what I do (I’m verbally abusive him) and I’ve exposed him to 2 ex-wives and a long time off/on gf which he was pissed about! What’s going on?

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    1. Hello Cindy, I would need to establish what type of narcissist he is and also your role within his fuel matrix to give you an accurate answer and the most appropriate way to do this is through a consultation.

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      1. Hello Cindy, use the PayPal buttons at the bottom left of the blog sidebar and I will then e-mail you.

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  25. He left me and has not spoke to me for almost a year. I made the mistake of sending too many texts and emails before learning more about narcissist behavior. Has anyone ever given the silent treatment for that long of a period? He is blame-shifting, projecting, and accusing me of not doing what he expected of me. When I remind him he chose to not speak to me all this time how could I proceed with no communication?? Yet my narc continues to blame me and all his other past relationships for whats wrong in his life today. This man is no young kid either! He refuses to take any of my calls which I get but the last one he wanted off the phone when I asked if the problem was about what I did not do to develop his property and all he wanted to do was hang up the phone. Next week, he is messaging me telling me Ï blew it””

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  26. Thanks for this site! I may still be a bit reticent to address you directly at first, Still a bit gun shy. even with the ultimate of no contact finally. I wish I had your advice to read, the last time I left, as I knew what he was and had “disappeared” but was spotted by an acquaintance who knew of the “reward for information” and dropped a dime on me! I would have given anything to resist that hoover that followed!Love bombing pity party, appeal to my morals, and after firmly reattaching the octopus tentacles, veiled deniable threats to my families’ lives and safety.

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  27. I have a question about narc parents. Do they love their children? Also, how can I differentiate if my MIL is a mid-range or greater narc? I’m assuming not low-level because not physically abusive and pretty elaborate in psychological tactics… It isn’t ever the actual words, exactly, that hurt the Golden Child, but rather the weaponizing of him toward the Scapegoat… any insights?

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    1. No they do not. They think they do, but they do not.
      Consult with me if you want a definitive assessment of what they are.

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  28. Wow. I avoid and am very slow to trust people, yet I attract them. Like a freaking moth to a flame. I’m mainly empathetic but there is a streak of the narcissist in me as well. Lately it’s been like a pack of wolves. They smelled my grief, which I thought was hidden. One got me for a bit recently, but I think it’s over now. I’m always stronger than they think… the first couple in my life were pretty bad. Now there’s a name and a much better understanding. Thank you much for that.

    They don’t all stalk, do they? I think I’m discarded and trying to tread very carefully. The wrath could be big in this case if unleashed on me. I wasn’t the primary source though.

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    1. There are varying degrees of stalking Becky. People think generally of stalking as following somebody, waiting around outside their house or work. That is just a few forms of hoovering. Hoovering covers a lot more.

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  29. Is there any way to message you that won’t appear in public? I would like your opinion on someone I am dealing with but don’t want to mention all details publically.

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      1. Apologies, if this sounds like a stupid question, but how and where do I do that? I am visiting your site from my phone, and I find it difficult to navigate. My poor eyesight doesn’t help.

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      2. Use the PayPal button in the bottom left of the blog sidebar. It may not show on a phone and if that is the case, either look on a tablet or laptop to find the sidebar or you can e-mail me at narcissist1909@gmail.com to let me know which consultation you would like and I will then send you an invoice via PayPal which you can settle through PayPal or using a credit or debit card. All financial information is not seen by me, so it is secure.

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  30. HG
    You have helped me beyond measure….
    My heartfelt thanks ♡
    YOU provided the KEY to Unlock the Chains
    Forever Grateful

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