About

Hello,

Welcome to Knowing the Narcissist.

I am H G Tudor. I am a narcissistic sociopath (some state psychopath – this remains a matter of debate by the profession concerning the current application of sociopath or psychopath).

By my terminology I am a Greater Elite Narcissist. You will learn here what that means along with all about the other types of narcissists and empaths too.

I convey this is an effective manner based on my perspective. I know what I am and I know the best way to communicate this to you. I am a very effective communicator.

I write extensively about what this means and what I am. I have practised this dark art for many years, I have honed and crafted my abilities. I am aware of what I am and I am engaged in understanding why I am this way and why I act as I do. I am sharing these ongoing revelations.

I know my kind in considerable detail. I have several family members who are narcissists and have engaged with numerous in my life. I know the way my kind think, why we act as we do, say what we say and so much more. I understand why we target our victims and how we go about it. I comprehend why our victims think and act as they do. I have had many, watched many and listened to many. This allows me to build a formidable body of knowledge about not only my kind, but the people we engage with.

I am currently engaged in treatment which has been forced upon me. As part of this treatment and because I enjoy writing, I have been encouraged to share my knowledge. This is to engender a greater awareness of what I am on my part and also to allow the world an unrivalled view of the mind and actions of a narcissistic sociopath.

I do this because I like to write. I like to interact with people. I want to be the number one source for the reality of how my kind think and behave. I also find the weaponising of empaths and having them go into battle with my kind entirely in accordance with my worldview.

I do not do this for fuel. I do gain some fuel from the comments but since those who comment are tertiary sources (see the book Fuel for more) it is not significant. I gain far more fuel in my interactions in my private life.

I am direct. I do not speak in scientific terms. I welcome enquiring minds and those who want answers. I will give them to you. You will not gain understanding like this from anywhere else. I encourage you to read my articles and extensive collection of books which can be found on Amazon. I encourage you to contribute, ask questions and offer your own views. I read everything that is submitted to me and answer all questions, thus if your post does not appear straight away, please understand that it is in moderation and is either receiving or awaiting my attention.

The number of comments and hits are testament to the need for my knowledge and the huge usefulness many people have found from it. You will too.

Welcome on board. You will now Know the Narcissist.

HG Tudor

 

 

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708 thoughts on “About”

  1. My nex is crumbling under my no contact. He’s not a very bright narc though. His lacklustre email hoover today (5th attempt in 5 weeks) was quite amusing to me. I saw it for what it was without an emotional filter. He seems to have morphed into Barbara Cartland. Such drama…like an old am-dram Queen. I could clearly feel him cracking apart…desperate…(in between the pseudo romantic drivel) trying so hard to grasp at any perceived heart-string I might have left to play on to reignite my interest. However, the love bombing phase is long gone and I know his game well. I only see him for what he is now…simply pathetic. It’s like an assault on my intelligence. No supply here…the well is dry. My narcs have taught me well.

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  2. I just discovered your site yesterday. I have been suspecting that a long-time “acquaintance” was a narcissist. After reading some of your posts, I now think that the person I liked recently is one too. My father was never officially diagnosed so I cannot be too sure of what he was but he too demonstrated a wide variety of manipulative and abusive behaviors you describe here. Your information also inclines me to think that I might be an empath. How horrific that I would be attracted to the type of person that has always hurt me the most and that I dislike deeply. These abusive behaviors must appear familiar to me to some extent because of my father. I have no problem leaving a narcissist. I just want to make sure that I am no longer drawn or attracted to them. I want to make sure that I am only involved with emotionally and mentally healthy, normal, kind people. I hope I can learn enough to be able to help myself in this way.

    Anyway what I want to ask you is, I understand that there is something very dark and destructive inside a narcissist that makes him behave in the abnormal ways that he does… I suppose it stems from a lack of compassion for oneself. I know you picture this type, and yourself, as being sort of inhuman in the sense of not feeling sensitivity, empathy, compassion for anyone and always behaving from a place of calculation, selfishness, and gain… that any kindness or compassion demonstrated by a narcissist is fake and driven by an underlying motive…I guess I would like to accept and understand this, and it’s probably the hopeful empath in me talking when I say this, but how can it be possible that a narcissist never, ever, experiences even a moment of vulnerability and gentleness? Does he never feel awe, or joy, or gratefulness? Does he never fall in love? Does he never feel like protecting something? Does he never do anything that does not fall within his carefully designed plan? He knows no spontaneity? He never feels at peace with himself? Does he never feel remorse or sadness? It never harms him when he continuously harms others? Are all narcissists also sociopaths and incapable of feeling any sympathy or empathy with others?

    I won’t deny that I am still in the process of learning to accept that a person of this kind cannot change, does not want to change, and no one ought to even dream of changing or helping such a person.

    Since you describe that a narcissists displays expected behaviors such as kindness and affection in the beginning of his interaction in order to lure the person in, how can a victim recognize a narcissist from a normal person at this very initial stage, before the emotional bond is established? If I could identify a narcissist at that stage, I could prevent a lot of hurt and save a lot of time as well.

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    1. Hello Bollyview, welcome. You pose a number of questions and in order to save my fingers and to enable you to digest the answers in detail you will find them in the many articles provided on the site.

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  3. Have you read up on organic portals?
    It describes (in albeit newagey terms) the soulless phenomenon in much of the same way you do. What do you think of artistic portrayals of it, such as in movies like The Matrix and, more recently, Annihilation?
    Also, what about covert/soft narcs? I find them far more insidious then violent narcs since they rely on “niceness” and status-quo behavioral patterns to mask the bruiseless wars they’re endlessly waging, chains they’re binding, and blood they’re sucking. Plus, those fuckers are everywhere. They are the status-quo. I swear those types outnumber any other on the planet and their tendency to hivemind is insane.

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    1. * I mean covert as in, they don’t know they’re narcissists. Like they witlessly prey on supply yet actually believe that that kind of “relationship” is loving/good. Wolves in sheeps clothing who genuinely, unquestioningly, believe they see a lamb when they look in the mirror. And are incapable of even understanding that they’re doing harm.

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  4. Hello HG,

    Thank you so much for all the information you are giving us.
    I have spent my whole life swimming among sharks such as yourself. My mother is a lower level narcissist and my now deceased older sister was either a mid range or possibly higher. I am a Super Empath, I’ve always known what I am and what they are, but thanks to your videos I know have the terminology to tie it all together in my head.
    Naturally enough I have attracted narcissists in my personal life, I got rid of the last one after 5 years of ‘fun’. I had no issue enforcing no-contact as when I’ve had enough I’ll walk away without ever looking back, he did track down my new ph no from a mutual acquaintance, so then came the hoovering, this stopped when I told him I couldn’t care less if he carried out his threat and he killed himself and I wouldn’t be going to his funeral, lol I thought he’d spontaneously combust.
    My sister, may she Rest in Peace, wow, she was one hell of a piece of work, she died from a degenerative disease, it was pitiful, I’m sure you can imagine how it would feel to be losing control of your body and having to rely on others to help with the bathroom etc. My younger sisters who I shielded my whole life had nothing to do with her, so it was me, and my mother (for appearances sake) who looked after her, on a higher level my sister and I called a truce. I had already walked away, I literally stepped over her as she crawled along the floor screaming abuse at me, I didn’t look back. I had no contact for over 1 year, the smear campaign was epic!! When I decided to go back to her, I showered her with positive energy and she lapped it up, and we stayed in this bubble until her death, on a near daily basis her eyes would flash with irritation/anger/hatred at me, however she was able to control the arisen beast, and we had a harmonious relationship, she was able to get all the negative fuel (her favourite type) from my mother and care workers (who quit on a regular basis).

    Again thank you,
    YS.

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  5. Hi Hg.. I’ve been binge watching your videos and you talk , sound and act exactly like the ex narc that was in my life.. why is it that secondary, third party sources are treated better than the primary source.. isn’t it the goal to have a primary source to your kind? To have and keep the primary source is to be kind as you are with secondary, third sources.. secondary, third sources are always there.. primary’s always changing .. why? I was his primary source and he’s having his secondary sources reaching out to me.. they do not know who he really is

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  6. All I can say is wow. I lived with my narcissist ex for nearly 7 years and escaped 2 months ago. I discovered your site one day ago and can’t stop reading. You have given me so many answers to questions I have about his motives and what to expect moving forward. I wish I’d found your site a few years ago when I first suspected he was one of your kind. Thank you.

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    1. You are very welcome Grace, keep reading, it is the first foundation stone to freedom.

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  7. Thank you for this resource. I am interested in an article about coping with a narcissist husband and beating him at his game. I don’t want to leave until my children are out on their own. Have you written an article like that? Thanks in advance.

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    1. What is written about narcissists here and in my books will apply to your narcissist husband. This will also assist you in beating him at his game. If you require specific bespoke information about your own situation then you should book a consultation with me.

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      1. I am sorry you have children.

        While you may get the tools “in beating him at his game”, it may still drive you crazy. One can only withstand so much cray cray until it seeps into oneself.

        HG really helps, but nothing beats getting out.

        Good luck with your journey.

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    2. You should get your children in therapy for they can become narcs or codependent, believe me, being codependent is a horrible thing. I know now my mother is a covert narc and she hates me. it has affected my relationships, as I am a magnet for narcs. thank you HG for giving me tools to deal with my narc mother and sister. I will be loving my entire family, including my oldest son and my lovely grand children as I cannot be around these toxic vampires any longer

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    3. I’m in same situation. I have currently started my own business so I can survive financially. I also have a fear though that somehow he will take that money too.

      I don’t want to leave either till kids are on their own…i feel like i can protect them better and curb any narcissistic tendencies they may show…my middle child is already showing some as his father has taken him in as a confidant. I honestly feel trapped.

      And then a part of me feels like shit for even making this move…which I know is part of the whole vicious cycle. And I feel like I’m just gonna end up in the same damn boat with someone else. I have actually proven to myself that it will happen….and the other person is worse than him.

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    1. I agreed in order to
      1. Secure my inheritance;
      2. Avoid the distraction of fabricated allegations which would have precipitated a criminal and regulatory investigation;
      3. Learn more about myself;
      4. Further the Grand Design.

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  8. Amazing! Thank you, HG, you helped me a lot understand some of my relationships with narcissists during my life. I am an empath, maybe a weird one, because I do have an exagerated sense of empathy with others and I neglect totally my own needs in the beginning, thus getting to be rather abused from the emotional point of view during a longer time than it should be.
    Fortunately I usually set my boundaries later at some point of the relationship – I do it instinctively – which chases them away rather quickly. This is good and bad at the same time 🙂 – it saves a lot of problems ‘a la long’, but it is rather despairing for me immediately after.
    My last relationship with a narcissist was particularly tough. I knew something was wrong from the beginning; I used to tell him that I felt I was just an experiment for him (felt totally like a lab rat and I’m sure I was – and yes, it feels spooky now that I know that) and he really got angry everytime I told him that; then he said that he will not get angry anymore, that he will prove it to me with his behaviour. He did lots of stupid things during these months (when I say “stupid” I mean things that really prejudiced and hurt himself in the first place) and finally he discarded me, from one day to another, which really drove me crazy as I didn’t know what was happening. But my practical side took over, I went looking for my own personal “therapies” and here I am, one and a half year later much better, but still with moments of dreaming of some kind of “revenge” 😛
    Yes, I know it sounds funny, and these moments are less and less frequent, and my sense of humour also takes over, which is, maybe, a healthy thing for me. I am lucky that I have my family and also some good friends that help me with their objectivity and comprehension.
    This guy was in therapy – psychologist – but I doubt that here, where I live, professionals know anything about narcissism, so I doubt that he knows what’s happening to him.
    Yeeees, I fell into ‘that’ mistake :), tried to get back to him some months ago – I just had discovered that he was a narcissist, after stumbling upon some article about narcissism just by chance and found out that all the facts coincided, so I wanted to test my belief somehow – and of course I failed and was right at the same time. I mean I was right because he clearly IS a narcissist. And I failed because, obviously, nothing happened during or after that unique meeting, he was very polite and normal, but never answered back to my few messages afterwards.
    So I let it go, but part of my personal therapy strategy is getting to know more things about narcissism in order to set myself completely free. And be a little bit more wiser.
    That’s how I got to your blog :). I’ll hang a while here with you in order to learn more.
    Good job, wonderful that you do it for yourself, for me the nice thing is that in your own pursue you also help others – I think we all should do this, this should be our life target, struggle to be happy in our own way, and inspire others while we are doing it – so, as we say in my country, I wish you good health, the best of energies and keep on.
    Be happy. Thank you.
    (Sorry for my English, not my native language, and I still make mistakes)

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    1. With my personal experience is say let it be and move on. It’s also been a year and a half for myself . (Crazy huh) and my revenge didn’t work out the way I anticipated . First off I wanted to make sure I was correct the same as you I learned one way to tell was to show up at the narcs house uninvited and if he is a true narcissist no matter how polite you are or distressed they will call the cops. And true narc fashion that is exactly what happened confirming to me that he was indeed a narcissist. A normal person wouldn’t do that in front of their children especially to somebody that was in their life and they care about. The only thing that my revenge accomplished boys making me feel like a bad person and keeping him in my thought process. I know now the best revenge is to erase them completely. Give him what he scared of most…… fading out . I remember I find Superfluous things essential but some i can do without

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      1. Thank you, Dee. I think erasing will be the best thing for ME, not for him 😛 ; in truth I doubt that he even remembers that I exist, not to speak about thinking in some way of me :). I’m lucky that I didn’t get involved too much with him and we haven’t got anything in common.

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    2. You’re most welcome. I do very much regret it .hindsight being what it is ….plus I am now seeing i was more being used for others peoples Vendetta against this person. As i believe now that a lot of the aftermath he knew absolutely nothing about . I Now focus on self healing and oddly enough iactually feel sorry for him. even if he is a narcissist I can’t imagine having so many people coming at me from so many different angles. No one deserves a life of Not knowing who is real and who is serving up some chaos. I recently apologized for my role after all there is love there or we wouldn’t care. Maybe one day he will be able to see his true self and start healing as well. (I don’t expect to see him in my animal rescue groups or anything 😂🤣) but maybe he will find his compassion and Not spend life alone . Thats a sad thought. Anyhow I send positive vibes to all that are hurt by narcissist abuse both narcs and willing participants. I say that because I did know what he was when I opened that door . I even told him he was a sociopath I just was an idiot that thought I could change it. I learned from it though you can not teach someone how to love they have to reach that to themselves. Until then they will live a life full of conspiracy, chaos, and utter loneliness

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    3. Oh and he remembers you he knows you exist. You are not just an ex-girlfriend that went away. You are an appliance on a Shelf he knows everything you do and he thinks it all has to do with him every move you make. He honestly believes no matter what kindness or rude gesture you pass his way is your way of saying you’re not over him. That’s why you must erase and not acknowledge his existence at all. Or he will be back and you don’t want that. These people cannot be your friend he cannot be trusted!!!

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      1. In my case I doubt that he will ever come back, I think he knows that I know he’s not what he pretends, so for him it’s game over: he can’t deceive me anymore so I’m not “fun” anymore for him.
        I agree with you, these people cannot be friends and can’t be trusted. They’re not real.

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  9. HG I’ve read 2 of your books so far. Amazing. 2 questions for you. 1. Everyone being on a spectrum, are all narcs completely aware? 2. Why are no other narcs replying here? Surely some must want to agree or disagree or simply say hi I’m here too, Look at me, Look at me, HG doesn’t get ALL the attention. No? Why is no one else coming forward if narcs are so self aware?

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    1. 1. No. The majority of narcissists have no awareness as to what they are.
      2. The occasional narcissist will appear here but they do not know what they are, hence they are not going to comment in the way you have written.

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      1. Having become aware. Would you say it is better for you or worse for you to know. And would you say it’s better or worse for your girlfriends now that you know?

        Is awareness good for anyone or does it just reinforce the underling feeling of bad you want to avoid with all this fuel? I guess i’m asking if the aware need more fuel because they are aware?

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      2. Better for me.
        Worse for them sometimes.
        Awareness will have an upside for appliances also.

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Read and understand all about narcissists from the best source possible. A narcissist himself.

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