5 False Promises

Words are our tools. They come readily to us and we much prefer them over actions as they use so little energy. We have no sense of guilt, remorse or conscience that we are easily able to make promises with no intention of ever keeping them. You on the other hand hate to break a promise and we know that your adherence to this means that the effect our broken promises is significant against you and will allow us to draw fuel. You will be familiar with the nature of the broken promises if you have danced with our kind already but you may not know what we actually mean when we say certain supposed promises to you. If this dance is new to you, not only will you not know what is being really meant when we whisper these words to you, but you may not realise that this promise will not be kept. Here are five of the most-used promises we issue, that we always break and this is what we really mean when we say them.

  1. I will always love you

I know that you love to hear such bold proclamations because they appeal to you as a love devotee. Indeed, you have been conditioned to believe strongly in the concept of love. I won’t always love you, in fact I will not even begin by loving you because I am incapable of feeling what you know to be love since it has been denied to me as an option. I understand what love is to you however because I am surrounded by people like you telling me what it means and it appears in books, on the television, on the internet, in films and advertisements. It is easy to understand what love means to you but impossible for me to feel it and therefore I can never love you. What I mean when I tell you this is that I am telling you what you want to hear so you will remain with me and provide me with the fuel that I crave. I am telling you that I will actually always want you so long as you give me what I need. My desire to be with you is entirely conditional on you furnishing me with fuel.

  1. I will repay you

I will borrow money from you because of my sense of entitlement since either I have none and I want yours or I have plenty and I still want yours. If I have no money I need it and therefore I will want to borrow it from you. I will of course promise to repay you in order to induce you to lend it to me in the first place. I will then make repeated promises to pay you: –

“I am a little short this month, I will have it for you next month.”

“I am due a bonus in two months so I will pay you from that then.”

“I had an emergency and had to use the money for that.”

“I am not able to work at present but since you love me you won’t mind waiting will you?”

“If you really loved me, you would not ask for it back.”

Those of our kind who lack financial resources want the money for obvious reasons but also in order to strengthen the link between them and you, so that you have reason to remain in contact with them and to allow them to trot out excuses and reasons which will eventually provoke you through exasperation, frustration, irritation and upset.

Those of our kind who have ample financial resources do not have any intention of making repayment. Instead we use this borrowing of the money as a bridge between you and I and as above it is all about keeping a hook into you.

When we promise to repay you, we will not do so. What we are telling you is that we want to create a method of ensuring you are connected to us and able to draw fuel from you.

  1. I won’t hurt you

Of all the broken promises this is perhaps the one which does the most damage. We are actually telling you this: –

“I won’t hurt you as long as you comply with what I want.”

It just so happens that we always omit the last nine words. We regard you as our appliance, an extension of our will and you are expected to do what we want. Provide potent positive fuel, succumb to our demands, run around after us, say yes when we want yes and no when we want no but you must guess which is correct. We want you obedient, compliant and submissive. Navigate your way through this maze successfully and you will not be hurt. Unfortunately, for you nobody is ever able to do this because you will always have to be hurt because we want fuel. You have to be hurt because no matter how hard you try you will always cause a criticism which will wound us and therefore we have to defend ourselves by lashing out and hurting you. You have to be hurt because there are even those of our kind, the malignant and the greater who delight in doing so.

The hurt will always visit you somehow.

  1. I will be faithful

We cannot be faithful. We need fuel too much. Although most of it will come from you we need it from other sources as well and this will result in our infidelity. Infidelity comes in many forms, just as fuel does. To some it may be sharing long and intimate conversations, to others it is a kiss, to others it is sexual touching and to others it is full blown sexual intercourse. Our desire for fuel combined with our massive sense of entitlement and our failure to recognise boundaries means that we will be unfaithful. Add to that our lack of accountability, our failure to feel guilt or remorse and you stand no chance of ever ensuring that we remain faithful.

We say this because you want to hear it. This is most often used after we have been exposed as committing an act or acts of infidelity and we are concerned that you will leave us and thus take away our primary source of fuel when we have not secured a replacement yet. We will pledge that we will be faithful moving forward in an attempt to prevent you from causing a cessation to our supply of fuel. These are empty words. We will be unfaithful within the week, maybe not even that long, just so long as uttering such a promise stops you from going.

  1. I will change

No I won’t. Even if I could, which is highly unlikely, why should I when there is nothing wrong with me. Everything I do is necessary to ensure my survival and my remaining elevated and superior. Just because you and others do not like the way that I behave does not mean that I have to alter what I am. I know however that you love to think that we can be cured of whatever ill it is that we suffer from. You want us to become better and different and naturally if this means we can get you to stay, do what we want and keep providing us with fuel we are content to tell you that we will change. We are experts at adopting false expressions of contrition as well to accompany this empty promise.

This vacant promise actually means

“I will carry on doing what I am doing and nobody will ever stop me.”



15 thoughts on “5 False Promises”

  1. I noticed that he always said exactly the opposite of what he was actually doing.( No I didn’t take her number,I would never)!! But he did of course.

  2. 1. I will always love you…you are my guardian angel, no woman has ever loved me like you do.
    2. I will repay you..I don’t know when, but I will.
    3. I will be faithful…you are the first woman I am telling this.
    4. I will change…I am changing. Actually, you are changing me and I like it.
    5. I will marry you..I have never wanted to marry any other woman.
    6. I won’t hurt you..I am not your enemy.
    How can a person lie about such things??? It is beyond my comprehension.

    1. How can we lie about such things? The end always justifies the means. When you do not suffer from guilt, remorse or a conscience and have an enduring need for fuel, words are merely the weapons to achieve those ends. Remember, you see it from a different perspective than us. That is why it seems beyond your comprehension, but once you do grasp it, it makes perfect sense. You won’t like it, but you don’t have to like it to understand. I would suggest you read Fuel, Your Fault and From the Mouth of a Narcissist to add to your understanding, SEF.

      1. Thanks HG. I know I see things from my perspective, I can’t help it, not even after the horrible experience I went through. I wish I could hate, despise, bury the illusion.
        I am educating myself on this topic and your work is of tremendous help. Everything would make perfect sense if you were robots. But you are human beings, there must be something good in you. I’ve seen many good traits and qualities. Whether it is nature or nurture, I feel deep sorrow for “your kind”, for the man I thought I could “fix”, fix his wound, in whom I’ve seen the potential to become better person. Painful reality becomes more clear each day, bit by bit, but you are absolutely right – I simply do not like the picture that appears. It looks like some abstract art painting and I am not a big fan of abstract art.

  3. Do you know how many people I’ve “borrowed” money from, promising to pay them back, and I have never paid them back? People make elaborate plans to rob banks, only to end up caught and jailed, while I smile, mumble “You know I’m good for it,” and get $20 from this one (for cigarettes), $30 from that one (lunch and an espresso), $2 from the “tip jar” nobody was watching at the coffee house (because that place has become such a shit show they should be tipping ME to grace them with my presence), another $5 from my father (i drove his car and I needed SOMETHING for parking).

  4. You post exactly what I need just as I need it. Your posts have helped a lot thanks. But what of your kind that psychically attacks? Can you shed any light on that please and how are we able to combat that?

    1. You are welcome Dinah. All of our kind are capable of physical attacks. The Lesser is more inclined to physical attacks as a consequence of their limited range of manipulations and their low control threshold. They tend to be something of a blunt instrument. A Mid Range and a Greater may well use physical force, but it is less likely and if it is used, it is more along the lines of pushing, holding, slapping, placing a hand on the throat, as opposed to punching, kicking or using a weapon. The explosion into physical violence occurs as consequence of the narcissist being wounded and their fury is ignited so it appears as heated fury which includes but is not limited to, physical violence. To understand more about this read Fury.

  5. Good, then you can spend the rest of your life alone. No one’s going to put up with that anymore. People like us (the one’s you use, hurt, control, lie too and leave out details) are wise to what you’re all up to. It’s out there all over the Internet and we will survive without you…It hurts, it hurts like hell but once we know who anf what you’re all about ??? We win….We win ourselves back and our selfworth. Your kind will die alone with no one..

  6. Yes. Who knew that after 25 years everything you are saying would come to tragic fruition. What am I supposed to do now? What do I tell my son and family and baby grandson? That we were all tricked for 25 years? That the full devalue and discard and complete destruction came about like a tsunami, a mushroom cloud, and WHAT DO I DO? Baby won’t have a grandfather, how horrible! Yes to affair, yes to abandonment, yes to hoovering, yes to it all. Have gone complete no contact for 45 days because of manipulation, word salad, head games. Is there hope? Will you laugh at me because I even ask that? There was always a bit of selfishness, slight lack of empathy, always always played the victim, but I thought I made him happy. Why now, why after so long? And what do I do? How will I survive? Why do you people do this to us innocents? When he dropped the bomb, he was so cruel, he told me it was time to take off my rose colored glasses and face reality. Who could be so cruel? Why?

    1. No, I will not laugh at you for asking is there hope because that is a common and understandable response. Why now? Because of the need for fuel,because it is that need which transcends all others. The need for fuel take precedence of everything. Thus the actions will be cruel to you but they are deemed as necessary by him. The innocents are conduits for the provision of fuel.There is no discrimination against you because of what you look like, what you do for a living or such like, the actions are done to you, the words said to you because of the driving need for fuel. It is this needs which governs everything else.

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