The Porn Supremacy
50 thoughts on “The Porn Supremacy”
Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)
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I am fascinated by this topic and feel free to have read the link between narcissism and porn. It makes me feel more in power and knowledgeable to know why the sex is so horrible and why he shuts me down, to find out later that he gets off to porn the second that I leave. It used to cut me to the core. It probably still does but now I seem to feel better knowing it is not because my body is gross or undesirable. It is his need to control me knowing I am a sex addict and this way he can shut me down by taking something away from me that he knows I need and thrive on. What I want to understand is why does he look at the exact same porn site daily, never varying. It is not people having sex. It is women submitting pics of just their private parts unclothed. He also reads stories and they are always the same story. The husband watches his wife have sex with a stranger or best friend, then the husband takes her for himself after she has been with the other person. If this is his thing, why not ask me to bring a third person in. I would more than gladly oblige since the sex with him is cold and sucks anyway. If he is so into me cheating on him and him hearing the details about it or watching, please just ask me. I have tried to jokingly bring up this topic about maybe I should find sex outside of the relationship to which he says no he would not like that. Clearly this is a lie because it is the stories he gets off to every night. I guess I wish someone could shed some light on that. Why does he like reading stories about husbands who watch their wives get screwed by someone else. What is the turn on?
Read Sex and the Narcissist.
Also, you are coming up against his innate need for control, hence your suggestions for what you believe he wants are rejected because he feels you are trying to control him from his narcissistic perspective.
Thank you for replying HG. I find you fascinating. I will definitely read it! I have been in the dark for 3.5 years trying to figure out why if his sex drive is so high that he watches porn daily and gets off; knowing that my sex drive is equally as high; why does he not want to have sex with me? I come onto him all the time to which he says he is tired or ignores me and will just act like he does not hear me talking. Then I would see evidence the second I left he jerked off. I was like wth!? Who likes sex more than the real thing. This sheds light on it for me. It was a total mind fuck. I have been so depressed and feeling disgusting knowing that I am not because many guys get erections just being around me. I just wish he was one of them.
You are welcome. Yes, reading it will explain a lot which will assist you and a consultation will also be beneficial should you wish.
Carilynn
You really need to read Sex And The Narcissist. It answers so many questions. I’m glad to read that you now know it’s not you. The book confirms that and so much more.
NarcAngel, Thank you for commenting. I ordered the book on Amazon yesterday and I should have it tomorrow (Friday) according to Prime shipping.
The narrator in this has a “Lord of the Underworld” vibe about him… Is he a paid narrator? It seems like he is… I think I remember HG Tudor’s voice being a little higher from his youtube interviews…
No, it is me. I have a broadcast voice and a conversational voice, hence the slight difference.
It creates shame. You should feel shame. Your work is accurate and highly triggering. I hate you in my heart but I value the power that this is giving me. The power to see these monsters coming . I fear I will be alone forever and that is devastating as an empathetic loving person, but it seems I am magnet. Absolutely horrifying. I pray my husband sees this someday and he looks at himself. God save you monstrous people
This is absolutely disgusting. The world is a cesspool of humans using others like objects. I used porn to quell loneliness when I was left pregnant. I watched amateur porn because the couple’s were in touch with one another. I don’t watch anymore. My narc husband would watch it incessantly and would never touch me. He’d watch women that looked like the whores he cheated with and lie, saying he sought women on porn hub that looked like me. Narcissist partners are so absolutely disgusting. I cannot believe this is actually happening, a man who admits to this and does not feel conviction. Tudor, Do you see that you are monstrous?
now it explained that part too…
it wasn’t me not being attractive…
I have written about many things, but my expertise lies in strategic business for success. I have a few ebooks, and I used to be a staff writer for various publications. I have also written about and used to run a non-profit animal rescue before all the reality shows came out. So I have seen a lot of horrors that people, including the Russian mafia, have done to animals, and I also get it about empaths losing control because animal rescue is loaded with them- no boundaries and they give up their soul to save them all. I finally got out, and then coached empath people who needed help with getting out. My music is jazz. I sing jazz and have recorded two albums, with ten as my goal. I also do voice/overs as in commercials.
HG, I just discovered you this weekend. You are a very special and unusual person – I deeply admire your choice to use your wiring for the greater good. Beautifully you have managed to make it work for both sides – you’re fueled, we’re empowered. Wow! This needs to be the case with all types of people, in my opinion. I have been a victim most of my life, and later on I chose not to be- so full accountability. Every ounce of enlightened information is armoring me with understanding, as you once recommend in your interview. I have never been afraid to delve into the deep dark sides – but the lasting effects are short lived for me, ie: porn. Debilitating submission just became too shallow and boring for me as did the mind control fencing.
I’m a singer and writer and I require a degree of detachment to succeed – with tremendous energy, I always succeed. So I get this type of person, and I cannot imagine being with someone who isn’t a little dark. Thank you master narc. You are doing great justice to the ultimate balance of the world. Great reverence.
Thank you Eve for your kind words and welcome on board, I look forward to your further contributions. What do you write about? What type of music are you involved with?
Reading through the comments, is like looking through a directory for submissives in the bdsm world! WoW lol…. bet you have a constant supply HD! ….and yes its pulled me in too but i am aware of that and can see it! Still delicious though! Blood mixed with black velvet can be ever So Exciting
Thank you Esther, I do like your final sentence.
Passionately stated Esther….I totally agree.
Reading through the comments, is like looking through a directory for submissives in the bdsm world! WoW lol…. bet you have a constant supply HD! ….and yes its pulled me in too but i am aware of that and can see it! Still delicious though! Blood mixed with black velvet can be ever Do Exciting!
Matilda… you really are a lovely soul but you are displaying 100% signs of weakness. You are still in victim mode and I suggest with respect and care, that you try and find some counciling, particularly targeted for victims. Try contacting your local Women’s Canter. If you shine out to me, as a victim, God help you in the world of predatory men! This is written to you with respect and concern.
Could you please elaborate on that, Esther? What are signs of weakness that I display in your opinion? What makes you think that I was still a victim?
I am genuinely interested in your point of view. Thank you, Esther!
You guys must have way better porn across the drink… How does this scenario play out with secondary people? Who was it that said “everything is about sex except sex; sex is about power”? The secondary people do not know they are secondary, not in the beginning. They do not get any kind of love-shower or golden period. For the amount of frustration and anger he caused, I wish that I had at least walked away with some new tricks or having learned something interesting between the sheets. Just, nothing.
That made me laugh Clarece!!!
Kids always know more than they should.
We have a couple of smart daughters.
She will totally sell Mom down the river to talk to British Darth Vader…
She refers to you as the biggest, baddest narcissist out there HG! Lol
That sounds like a great place to send her. Perfect for 20 year olds.
She is educating some of the students at Ohio State University about narcissists since she has no choice but to listen to me. Her boyfriend had to participate in a survey about narcissism in his psychology class. He was only aware of what one was because he has heard so much from me. I will see if I can find out what the details are. It will be interesting to see what the colleges are teaching.
The college group needs a class on identifying them and so do the high schools.
It would be interesting you read about what you discover in that regard SW.
Touchy subject for me as well. I have often felt like he treats me like a whore rather than someone he is supposed to love. I deserved to be loved. I deserve to be touched gently, not rushed over like a .10 tramp with no hugging kissing or romance. It makes me feel dirty and used. He used to watch so much porn on my computer back in 2005, that i had to make up a lie and told him that I getting virus every time he visited those sites because I’d check his internet history.
Lol She, you should have installed parental lock software on your laptop. Nothing but the Disney website for him lol.
Back in 2005? Hadn’t thought of it really. Bahaha! Now we have separate computers. Separate rooms practically. Truthfully I don’t care anymore. He’s a pervert, he’s always been. Making me do stuff I didn’t even wanna do. I’m just glad he doesn’t touch me anymore. I don’t love him anymore anyways.
Of course, he tried everytime to change my mind, sometimes he could convince me (you know to be very persuasive), but sometimes my answer remained NO (some claim was excessive and put at risk my health).
Do you convince always your partner to do what you want?
Thank you for the link, I order it sudden.
Yes I am very persuasive.
Speaking of your voice, like SW’s, my daughter heard me listening to some of the interview with Jamie a week ago. She wanted to call British Darth Vader and give a big hello and then thought it would be hysterical to share “mommy secrets” like if I accidentally spill something and cuss…I put the kabosh on that real quick. lol
It’s okay, I already knew that, my lieutenants are everywhere you see.
Hahaha! Just like Santa’s Elves but better huh? Did they put me on the Naughty List?
Wow! Interesting!
The life of my narc revolves around sex and porn so much that I called him “porn star missed” (he enjoyed this nickname). His head and his speeches ended up going there. Usually I contented him in requests but sometimes he irritated me because we were talking about other things and gave me the feeling that at the outside of the sex did not care anything! Even while his mother was under the scalpel to be operated he asked me in chat to talk about sex and to send him pictures of me … in my opinion there are times when this is lawful and becomes an enjoyable game for both, other times it’s just bleak and even sad. But I always had to be the one to understand him and please him in every demand. And believe me his demands were very perverse. When I said no his reaction was usually to disappear for days or make me physically ill pretending not do it on purpose … but I saw the satisfied grin and he told me things like: “pain is so close to pleasure”.
Anyway he was always fiery and technical and appeared cold, never once showed involvement or affection or care …
What do you do if some your partner (formal or lover) say to you No for something about sex?
Was there a time when you felt something like a feeling for a woman?
P.S. you have a beautiful deep voice.
P.S. 2 I bought 4 your books in print because I did not have how read in kindle. I also wanted to take “Sex and Narcissist” but can not find the paper. I’m very interested. How can I do?
If they say no, I persuade them to change their mind.
I have always had feelings for my intimate partners, they are just different from what you would expect.
Thank you for the compliment about my voice.
Sex and the Narcissist can be tricky to find in paperback because of the adult filter. Try here
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Sex-Narcissist-H-G-Tudor/dp/1535375191/ref=sr_1_13?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1480445025&sr=1-13
P.S. I sent you an email with some drawings made by me…with this theme… I have made many more but I sent you the most prudish (he inspired and encouraged me to do erotic drawings, it was funny)… did you see them? 🙂
Yes I did, not had opportunity to reply yet.
Hi HG,
I liked your answer in replying to what you do when someone says no.
I was “persuaded” and encouraged.
She had the ability to make me feel completely comfortable and safe with her and everything she did. I trusted her completely. That’s why I did whatever she wanted. I am sure you have that gift also.
She was first with the nude pictures and phone sex and I reciprocated without any question. And this after I have told my daughter a million times not to send pics to anyone.
And I wanted to let you know I was listening to this on my iPad and my daughter walked in, who makes fun of me on this blog, loved listening to your voice.
Thank you SW. Making fun of you on this blog?! Heresy! She would be burned were it not for her saving herself by loving my voice! You need to book her into the HG Tudor School of Corrections. That’ll learn her!
Wow!! The man i married is a narcissist, and we are separated now of course as he became a man whore, and I figured this info to be pretty much the why, but you just helped me understand it better. I just don’t quite understand why they are this way. No offense, but these are horrible people, or i will say the man i married is a horrible person, does not even seem human to me. To me it’s all satanic and seems to make more sense that he gave himself to demon possession at some point. Its like he is a demon prowler always hunting for his next victim. One of the last times i was in his presence, it was like his mannerisms were even not normal, not human, but animal like, It is a horrible horrible existence, and to know it is real is mind blowing!!!!!
Listening to you, I can sense your uneasiness when you talk about intimacy, the way you rush through the sentences, getting agitated at the thought of feeling overwhelmed by the empath’s demand for intimacy when you feel you cannot provide it, which results in shame and in you withdrawing/lashing out. The problem I see here is that you do not address that with her.
She asks for intimacy because this is how she operates. If you refuse to provide that she will feel rejected and deeply hurt, resulting in her either withdrawing or pressuring you more for it. She does not know that you cannot give it, or to the extent she wants you to. You have never told her, probably because it would clash with your sense of superiority and power. Yet there is empowerment in honesty. There is no shame -none at all- in talking about what you can and cannot do or feel, and why. You can do it on here, face-to-face with her is just a further step. Empath that she is, I am certain beyond any doubt that she would understand, and she would try to alleviate that pain. And this goes for all aspects of life. She cannot help you if you do not let her help you. But you have to be honest with yourself and her first.
I am sometimes irritated with your work, because I am very much triggered by what you write: the content is so accurate and it cuts deep. Perhaps, I should take a break. But I just want to express that I appreciate what you are doing for survivors, and I wish you well! 🙂
Thank you Matilda.
What HG is doing for survivors….Matilda dear, you do realize that what HG is doing for the ‘survivors’ is not out of ‘goodness of his heart’….he has no heart, try and remember that before wishing him well again. Narc’s do not deserve any well wishing from an Empath….period.
I see why you would say that, bloodybladeblog. I know he is not doing this to primarily help us, it is a by-product of the therapy he was forced into. I am dealing with PTSD, and I have read *a lot* on narcissism (popular and academic works) to make sense of this madness. Almost all is written either from an outsider’s point of view (health professional who never experienced abuse) or from a victim’s perspective (mostly anecdotal). Very little is written from the narcissist’s point of view, less so in this straight-forward manner.
It is infuriating most of the time, it is highly triggering, but we need to hear the brutal truth to understand. Once we understand, we can heal! Along the way, you also learn what triggered their descent into narcissism. That does not excuse anything, but it gives you a more balanced view. We empaths want to know everything thoroughly, don’t we? Anger alone will keep you stuck: read and learn!
While I am disillusioned with life and love, I believe that all of us can be redeemed.
Well put Matilda, that is exactly it.
Great decoding. thank you HG
HG, I’m always learning with you. This podcast makes so much sense to me. I’m understanding him now…Not that I’m happy to listen to the explanation on the use of porn, but now I know what he was thinking, i guess.
HG,
I’d like your opinion on something.
About 4 years ago my soon to be ex narc came out to me that he was addicted to porn. I wasn’t aware that he was watching so much, as I guess most of it was at work after hours and at home when I wasn’t around. I was feeling, though that there was other women (1 of which I’m pretty sure of).
But most of my problems with him that I was aware of was his treatment of me and the craziness that he was putting me through. I had already suspected that he might be a narcissist by the time he confessed his addiction. He fit the description of a covert narcissist to a T, and he had already put me through all 3 stages of a narcissist relationship. He had already discarded me but was hovering at this point. It was after the discard that I started researching just what the heck went on here.
He started to go to a sex addiction counsellor who told him that he had Intimacy Anorexia. I see this term being bantered around other sex addiction groups. I tried to talk to his counsellor about his narcissism, only to be shut down and told that I need counselling. His counsellor refused to hear me out. I refused to go to couple’s counselling with my ex because I had a real bad gut feeling about this.
HG, have you heard the term Intimacy Anorexic before, and what is your opinion on it?
please learn how to be human before you touch another one….
I whole heartedly agree. I believe you should be captured, narcs. Sociopaths and psychos alike, and dropped onto an island with others like you so you can destroy eachother